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The Voyages of the P.M.S. Mblow0t5 #3004 - Nothing Can Compare! It's NC-17... |
Nothing Can Compare, by Highspike ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ S3's Random Ramble: Bleeargh! Anyway, this MST was easier than any of the Gene Mesaki ones. My only complaint is that I may not be able to update this site as often as I’d like. College is taking up my time, along with my crappy ‘net access. Anyway, I’m gonna try to keep the updates to once a month, maybe more than that – I hope. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Cheesy theme music starts up.] In the not to distant future, S3: Hey! That doesn’t rhyme!!!! Pearl: I’ll send them crappy
fanfics! All: Lalala! He’ll have to sit and read
them all, All: Lalala! Now, keep in mind he can’t
control, S3: I wish. He’ll try to keep his sanity, MSTer roll call: If you’re wondering what
he likes and hates, S3: WHAT? Just keep in mind, Squeaky! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ On the P.M.S. Mblow0t5, S3 was stressed out. Finals had just gone by, and – having no chance to study for them at all – S3 was quite sure he flunked all of them. Especially Pre-Calculus. It was at that time that Pearl decided to give him an experiment to do, and told him to go to MST a fic with Chau and Duo. The experiment was to give S3 the abilities of his favorite G-Gundam Fighter, Burning (or God) Gundam.That’s not good. S3's Random Ramble: Yeah, I know. This plot thingy sucks. But… plot isn’t what you read these for, is it? On with the MSTing fun! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The doors! Door 7: A picture of the ship’s namesake! Mblow0t5! S3: [His right hand begins to glow red.] This hand of mine burns with an awesome power, and it tells me to GRASP VICTORY! [Winds back.] ERUPTING BURNING FINGER! [He rams it into the door. It melts.] Door 5: It’s a Pokeball! It opens up, and you’re sucked in. Duo: No! I hate Pokemon! Door 4: It’s a manhole. You fall through. Chau: It’s a good thing I have my credit card…! Door 2: A door from Metal Gear Solid. You find keycard 3 and slip inside. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ S3: Ooh… [Looks about the theater.] It’s an IMAX theater! >Author: Highspike Chau: Uh… > S3: This fic is THAT bad? Nothing else can compare to it? >Disclaimer:I don't own anything but my ideas. Duo: That doesn’t seem too bad. >By clicking and choosing this fic,you have agreed to the following.. All: [Spit take.] WHAT? >You will not sue me. Duo: [Takes out a cell phone.] Hey, Quatre? Yeah, It’s me. I
need to talk to one of your best lawyers. Yep, it’s a crappy fanfic
author. What? Oh, ok… Say ‘hi’ to Trowa for me. Later! >You are a dirty sinner All: Like HELL! >,like me. S3: [As Woody Allen.] Am… ah… ex-excuse me. I d-don’t write lemons. > Chau: Yes? Is there actually a fic here? >Enjoy! Duo: Um… [Thinks about it.] No. >___________________ All: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! >as Bit slammed the axe Chau: Not a ‘Johnson’ or ‘Salami’? >into the floor. All: O.o >Leena smiled as she looked at him All: STOP THAT! >, "It's my turn?!" Bit nodded. Leena loved this more than battling Zoids. Chau: Ah… she’s a psychopath. Perfectly understandable, considering her dad. >Bit extended his arm, clenching his teeth. Leena grasped the axe's
handle and grunted as All: [Jaws drop to the ground.] >She then swung the axe, it made contact with Bit's arm. S3: Is this a more fatal form of ‘Red Rover’ or ‘Mercy’? >Bit screamed in pain Chau: He screams like you, Duo. >as the axe got caught on one of his bones in his arm. All: O.O >Leena wiggled S3: [Covers his eyes.] STOP THAT! >the axe out and hacked at Bit's arm again. Duo: GOD! WHY is he just STANDING there? >Bit then screamed as his arm fell to the ground All: [Shriek as Bit’s arm falls to the floor… right in
front of them in the theater.] >, a puddle of blood following afterwards. All: [Pull up sheets of plastic and are suddenly wearing ponchos.] >Leena smiled happily, she loved this. S3: [Takes out palm pilot. Begins writing.] Note to self: Do NOT go
out on a date with Leena Tauros. >Bit then pulled out a knife, smiling. Leena smiled, it was his
turn now. Bit blinked as the All: [Their ponchos and plastic shields covered in blood.] HOW DO YOU THINK WE FEEL? >and his vision was blurry. S3: It’s over! >He thrusted forward. The knife dug its way into Leena's cheek, Duo: Dude… Bit, the meat is supposed to be dead and cooked BEFORE you eat it. >it stabbed her tounge and pinned it to the other cheek. Leena screeched in pain, All: [Flinch in pain.] >blood started gushing from her mouth. All: [STILL in their ponchos and plastic shields. Now behind their
chairs with the shields over their heads.] BRING IT! [Blood flows into
the theater.] >Bit pulled the knife out and collapsed onto the ground, the blood
loss was getting to the All: [You get the idea by now.] It’s getting to us too! >Leena smiled, the pain no longer bothered her. Duo: [As a commercial.] Novocain. It’s no longer for doctors! >She had won and needed to finish off the opponent. Duo: [As Mortal Kombat announcer.] FINISH HIM! >She weakly lifted the axe Chau: And then she falls backwards, landing on the blade, killing her. End of fic. >and rose it above her head. Bit weakly looked up at the axe, he knew what was coming. Duo: [In creepy announcer’s voice.] A MTV Brittany Spears 24-
hour marathon! >Leena then swung the axe at the young boy's skull. S3: Kenny! NO! >A crunching sound echoed out as the blade sliced Bit's skull in two. S3: You killed Bit! >Leena panted, she was exhausted. She stumbled to the main room,
blood dripping from her S3: Man, could you imagine what the janitor’s gonna say? > S3: What, Doc? It’s just a bad fanfic. >Leena looked at him, her words were barely understandable, "Wwbbbhat?" Duo: [As Dr. Tauros, as Lassie’s owners.] What’s that, girl? Timmy’s stuck in the well? >Her tounge just flopped around her mouth Chau: So… it’s a fish now. >, a giant slit in the middle of it. Doc rushed up to his daughter
and looked over her wounds, S3: Personally, I’d try and get Leena some medical attention
first, then do the questioning. I’d also call the cops. >She then grinned widely, blood seeping out from her teeth. All: [Climbing onto the seats to avoid the rising blood.] STOP THE
INSANITY! >Doc screamed and shook the child Chau: You know, Dr. Spock advises against that. >, "Who, who did this to you?!" Leena didn't answer, she just grinned. S3: [Covering his eyes again.] QUIT THAT! >Doc shook her violently, "Leena!" S3: [As Doc Tauros.] Tell me who shot J.R.! >Leena's vision was blurring. She started to crack up laughing. Chau: I’ve seen too many films to not figure this out. She’s gonna kill the rest of the Blitz team. >Doc threw the young girl to the floor, "Damnit Leena! I'm not fucking joking around! Duo: Since when did South Park take over Zoids? >Who did this?!" Leena stared up at the old man, she still
had a grin on her face. S3: RUN Jamie! Do NOT look back at the base! >He was just working on a strategy for the next battle until he heard Doc shouting. Duo: Ugh. I just got two ideas. One: She killed him. Two: Lemon sequence. >He peeked in the room, his eyes widened as he saw the bloody mess
that used to be Leena's All: O.o > Chau: Then… she’s topless? >Jamie walked in, "What happened?!" Duo: [As Dr. Tauros.] Freddie Kreuger came to life! >Doc turned and looked at the boy, "I don't know! She won't tell me a fucking thing!" Chau: Watch your language! This is a Toonami show! >Jamie was startled by Doc using such harsh language. Duo: And, in theory, he SHOULDN’T. Toonami, of course. >Jamie then spotted bloody shoe prints coming from the cargo area. All: NO! Don’t go in! >He followed them. All: D’oh! > S3: [Urp!] Get me a barf bag… >Doc followed and Leena just stood in the other room in a daze.
Doc gasped too and held his Chau: Heart attack! >"Oh my...my...." He slid down the wall and fell to the floor. S3: You can only do one or the other… not both. >Jamie quickly jumped to Doc's aid, "Doc! Doc! Hey!!" He shook Doc's lifeless body. Chau: [Shrugs.] I guess I was right. >Jamie then quit shaking him and checked for a pulse...none. Duo: If it’s a LIFELESS body, then WHY did you check for a pulse? >Jamie stood up and grabbed his short hair and pulled it, "Oh god...god....god no.." S3: [As God.] WELL, NOW, I DON’T HELP CHARACTERS IN CRAPPY FICS. SORRY, KIDDO. >He then ran into the other room and searched for the phone. He
paused and glanced over to Chau: She’s gone. >she was gone. Chau: [Grins.] Told ya’! ^_^ > All: RUN BRAD! >there was nothing to do. S3: [As Brad.] Hmm… I feel like taking a 50-mile run right now… AWAY FROM HERE! >He had heard the shouting earlier, but he figured it must have been Doc griping at Leena. Duo: [As Doc Tauros.] Leena! I told you NOT to waste ammo and shoot your teammates! >He yawned again and thought, "Doc is gettin old.. S3: [As Brad.] I mean, isn’t he, like, thirty or so? >stress like all of this shouldn't be too good for him.." Chau: Nor is dying… >He flipped off the television Duo: [As Jerry Sinfeld] What is up with flipping off the television?
I mean, can’t people find another outlet for their aggression? >and closed his eyes, he needed a nice nap. S3: [Shivering.] STOP THAT! >She then crawled on top of Brad and giggled. All: [Scream in fear.] >Brad quickly opened his eyes and jumped, All: [Scream in horror.] >startled by the horrific scene. All: [Phew!] >Leena grabbed Brad and kissed him, S3: NO LEMON! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! >the blood from her mouth going into his. S3: …well, at least it’s going somewhere ELSE. >Brad shoved her off and spat the blood onto the ground. S3: [Covered in blood (even though he has his poncho on).] I REALLY wish he’d look before aiming. >He quickly stood up and looked at her, "What the.. All: OUR WORDS EXACTLY! >what the fuck are you doing?!" All: Again, OUR WORDS EXACTLY! >Leena giggled and slowly walked toward him. Chau: Uh… no. >Brad backed up and then stopped. Duo: NO! Keep going! Run off! >He blinked and looked at the crazy girl, "What--what are you doing?!!" S3: That’s it… the blood is getting too high… >Leena smiled and grabbed his face. Brad tried to scoot back, but
her grip got harder. Leena S3: [Quivering.] STOP THAT! >Brad was getting ready to punch the crazy bitch. Duo: Man, I wouldn’t have even WAITED this long! Kill her! >He clenched his fist, but before the long haired pilot could make
a move, Leena slammed his Chau: Well, at least there’s no more blood for this round… >Brad's body spazzed out into a seizure, smoke rising from his body.
The lights flickered and Duo: You know what? Leena IS like this. > S3: Uh… 9-1-1? Maybe that? >He heard footsteps and he reached around on the countertop quickly. Duo: [As Jamie.] Oh, it’s just you Michael. [Pause.] H-hey… what are you doing with that knife, Mr. Meyers? N-no! NOOOOOOO-aack! [Flops about in his seat. Chau and S3 scoot away.] >He grabbed a butcher knife and readied it for whatever was coming.
He felt a warm breath All: WHAT? >he quickly turned and thrusted the knife forward. He then heard
a thud as something fell to Duo: [On the ground, clutching his gut. There is a knife in his stomach.]
OW! That HURT! Watch where you’re aiming! [Pulls out the knife.]
Damn… that stings! > Chau: Nope, it was pure plot crap. >and he flipped it on. The light illuminated the small area. Duo: I’m suddenly reminded of the movie ‘Pitch Black.’ >Jamie backed up and choked out words, "I—I killed...Leena..." All: [Scoff.] Big loss there… >Leena layed on the ground, the knife had gone directly in her skull. All: [Waving bloody flags. Unfortunately, the blood rises bit by bit.] Yay! It’s over! >Instantly killing her. All: Woot! >Jamie then shivered, "I'll go to jail...." Chau: Well, it’s called SELF-DEFENSE. Quite legal, actually. >He slowly walked forward and pulled the knife from the girl's skull. Duo: Oh, great. Now he’s gonna EAT Leena. >He looked at the bloody blade. He shook nervously as he put the
blade to his neck and he Chau: Hello!~ Self-defense! >he then slit his throat. S3: Uh… [Leaps up onto the back of his seat as MORE blood flows
into the theater.] Good thing Duo’s cleaning this up… >He choked and gagged on his blood. Chau: Actually, I hear that you die by lack of blood, not choking on the blood. >He dropped the knife and flashlight. He then collapsed to the floor, Duo: [Looking down into the lake of blood.] Great. Now we have the
ENTIRE Blitz team in our theater. Dead. >a puddle of blood forming under the young pilots body. Duo: [Looking about as MORE blood flows inside.] WHERE THE HELL IS
THE DRAINAGE PLUG?!?! > S3: [Looking down at the five bodies.] Should we give them a proper
burial? > Duo: No… THIS is real random insanity. [Begins leaping about,
screaming and running around. Five minutes later, he stops and sits
down.] >What the title means is.. Nothing can Duo: Not true. Shinji the 10 O’clock Assassin’s works, for example. >(well at least not Chau: Not exactly perfect grammar, but the fic IS over! > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (No plot here, either. I’m too fried from finals… Better plot next time, I promise. Besides that, the next fic is a lemon. Ugh.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Credits: Duo Maxwell – Himself Original fic by: Highspike Script: S3, the Demon Godling Plot by: Ragnarock 2 Cool music listened to while writing by: Mblow0t5 Special thanks to: Stinger: |