VERSION
2.13 |
S3's Republic of
MST |
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The Voyages of the P.M.S. Mblow0t5 #3003 - Forever United! You know... there was an EVA quote that would
fit here... |
Forever United, by Chewy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ S3's Random Ramble: All the opinions
expressed by the characters are just that: Opinions expressed by the
characters. I have no control over any of them – except for S3
and Brandon. Brandon’s not in this one, so its just S3. [Cheesy theme music starts up.] In the not to distant future, S3: Hey! That doesn’t rhyme!!!! Pearl: I’ll send them crappy
fanfics! All: Lalala! He’ll have to sit and read
them all, All: Lalala! Now, keep in mind he can’t
control, S3: I wish. He’ll try to keep his sanity, MSTer roll call: If you’re wondering what
he likes and hates, S3: WHAT? Just keep in mind, Squeaky! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Pearl-Made-Starship Mystic Blue Leopard of Wisdom, Opposition
to Superficialism (or the P.M.S. Mblow0t5, for short) drifted through
space lazily above the Earth, quiet black surrounding it. Of course,
docked next to it, was a replica of the Satellite of Love, the center
section of the Star Trek space station Deep Space Nine. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The doors! Wow! They’re back! Door 7: A picture of the ship’s namesake! Mblow0t5! S3: [Drools slightly.] Wow… Door 6: A door made of Atari Jaguars. There’s NO WAY around them.
Shinji plants some nearby C-4 on the door, and it goes off. You slip
on through. S3: There’s no escapeeeeee!!! Door 4: It’s a manhole. You fall through. Shinji: Not agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnn! Door 2: A door from Metal Gear Solid. You find keycard 4 and slip inside. Guard #1: What was that noise? Door 1: A traditional theater door. You slide in and it locks behind you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Forever united. S3: Oh, god… At least it’s not a lemon… >By Chewy All: [Make Chewbacca sounds.] > Shinji: Wasn’t that rather obvious? >Evangelion Asuka & Shinji: Phew! >or Rei, Asuka: [Begins fuming slightly.] >heck I don't own the computer, I have no money, and I have no desire
to have money in All: The poor fool… >No, I am not stoned. S3: [Waving his hand like a kindergartener. Laughing.] Ooh! Ooh! Can
I have some? >I will try to keep the all people in character. All: THANK GOD! >I support the idea of Shinji and Rei being together. Asuka: LET ME AT HIM!!! >She did die for him that one time, kind of a hint. Disregard everything
from episode 23 S3: [Looks over at Asuka.] O.O Mel… [Grabs Melphina’s
arm.] Let’s go back here… [Brings her to the back of the
theater.] >except for the part were Rei realizes she really likes Shinji. Asuka: AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! >Both ending were not worthy of EVA. Shinji: LIKE HELL! > All: [Make Chewbacca sounds. Again.] >is greatly honored to present for the first time in recorded history: Asuka: Godzilla vs… >The Ayanami/Ikari Wedding. All: GENDO? >I would like to thank Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong and Jusenkyo Guide Shinji: [As the Jusenkyo Guide.] Me no help with this travesty. >for this one. Thanks guys ^_^. S3: WHY are you thanking them? >I also don't own Tenchi or Sasami or Tsunami. All but Mel: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! PEDOPHILE! >Kasami is the Child of Sasami/Tsunami and Tenchi. All: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! >She has blue hair like her mother. I made her up. S3: Well, that’s a relief. >No, I do not write lemons. They are usually in really bad taste. All: O_O No way… > Shinji: A new Rei clone was being made. >A ceremony that's beginning had started seven years earlier. S3: The start of ‘Final Sacrifice’? >On a day when a girl willingly put herself in front of a boy whom
she barely knew so Melphina: …of her ass? >A day when a boy had opened that same girl's entry hatch Shinji & S3: [Begin to snicker.] >alone to rescue her. It was the day of Rei Ayanami's marriage to
Shinji Ikari (and vise Asuka: ARGH! [Begins to charge at the screen, but everyone holds her back. Sorta.] LET ME AT HIM! > S3: …the janitor’s closet? >that had once been the meeting place where generals and strategists had sat Asuka: …I though that the SELEE room was destroyed, though. >to plan for war now housed a small chapel. Shinji: Ha ha. Very funny. Where Angels like Koaru once tread in Central Dogma is now holy ground? Great. >This chapel was where two souls were soon to be united into one unit, S3: EVA-01’s gonna go bezerker again… >the sacred unit of husband and wife, which no angel or demon or
any other being, Melphina: Well, that’s not true. Men are taken away by younger,
more beautiful blondes. > S3: …and Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones begins. >and a Japanese wedding march began to play. Melphina: Shinji? >The crowd looked to the back of the room and watched in awe as
the bride walked Shinji: 0.0’ …I think I made a wrong choice. >Rei was dressed in a lavender dress All: [Drool slightly.] >that caught the eye of all present, including the priest. All: HEY! >She had grown in the past seven years. Shinji: Didn’t I just say that? >She now wore her hair in a ponytail that went down to her shoulders. S3: Naah. I like the short, if not frizzy, look better. [Kisses Melphina.]
Like Mel here. Or Christine Roe. >She had grown about 10 centimeters and her figure had filled out exceptionally well. Shinji & S3: We just SAID that! >She walked with a grace of a person who could be called Asuka: …by 10-10-220! All calls up to 20 minutes for only 99 cents! >euphoric. The person escorting her down the aisle was none other than Maya Ibuki. Melphina: I saw EVA… Isn’t she a lesbian? >Maya had volunteered after Rei had not been able to find anyone
with the dignity to be Asuka: [Raises an eyebrow.] DIGNITY? Well… I’d rather
say that it was more like sex drive. Rei DID have… > Shinji: NOT me! >and smiled. She had fought so hard and waited so long for this
day to come. She S3: I’d have HUGGED him for that. >She remembered how after Gendo's disappearance, Shinji was there
to lend her his Shinji: I bet there were OTHER times in her life… >Shinji was always there for her and now he always would be her side, Melphina: I hope not in bed… That would be one HARD wedding night… >night or day, well or sick, rich or poor, heaven or hell, All: Till death do they part. >for all eternity. All: …close enough. >Her smile brightened at this thought. Asuka: I would too. [Smiles.] >Shinji, he was the only boy she had every loved, ever would love, ever will love! Shinji: Ugh. Now I’m SURE I made the right decision… > S3: Actually, he showed her something different, and a bit smaller. >that even in the darkest night, a candle still burns for those who seek it. Asuka: But… in the case of Yu Yu Hauksho, it’s a cigarette. >Before she had Shinji, she had known no true emotions, Melphina: What about Gendo? >only negative ones Melphina: Ah. I see. >and these were not the emotions that she was feeling now. Asuka: Once I get a hold of you, you WILL. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Door 1: A traditional theater door. You slide out and it locks behind you. Asuka: FREEDOM! Door 2: A door from Metal Gear Solid. You open the door, knock out the first guard and RUN. Random guard #2: Hey! Door 3: A black hole. You can guess the result. S3: Whee! Door 4: It’s a manhole. You climb up and out. Ash: Go! Pika- wait… You aren’t Pikachu… Door 6: A door made of Atari Jaguars. There’s NO WAY around them.
Shinji plants some nearby C-4 on the door, and it goes off. You slip
on through. Melphina: If you stare at her AGAIN… ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ TONIGHT on the continuing adventures of TYCHO and GABE: GAMES, GAMES, and FUN! Tonight: on www.penny-arcade.com! See Links page for details. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Everyone enters the Theater. Again.] >They were of hopelessness, sadness, anger, fear and depression. Melphina: On a WEDDING DAY? Ouch. I’d hate to see the honeymoon… >She knew that even with Shinji by her side, life would not be perfect,
but they would at S3: …and get completely slaughtered. >She offered her hand to Shinji Shinji: Um… [Holds his hands up.] I have two of my own. No thanks. >and clasped it gently but firmly with his own. Rei then turned
and faced the altar, a look All: [Shiver.] >Shinji watched as Rei walked gracefully down the aisle. Asuka: She then trips and breaks her neck. >She was beautiful, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. Asuka: ALLRIGHT! [Stands up, in front of Shinji.] Am I more beautiful
then HER? [Kisses him. HARD..] >Seven years ago, he would S3: …have been in the beginning of ‘Final Sacrifice.’ >not have recognized her. She had grown in so many ways; Shinji: [Is about to say something, but Asuka muffles it by smothering
him with her mouth.] >she was no longer an emotionless little girl. S3: She was an emotionless WOMAN! >She was now a vessel of hope and love; Shinji: The Enterprise? >she was what mattered to him most in the entire world. Asuka: ME! I’M the most important thing to him in the world! >He prayed that he would always be there to protect her, no matter
how dark the world All: [Facefault.] >; she was all he would ever need. Shinji noticed her smiling at him and he Asuka: …snapped and ran off to marry Asuka? >smiled back. He then gently took her hand when she offered it to
him. He then turned S3: Ooh… human sacrifices… > Shinji & S3: [Pose.] FUSION FORM! [Begin doing the DBZ ‘fusion Dance.’] >The priest began to speak Melphina: Whoa! When did we get a Catholic priest in Japan? >"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of
the almighty to see the holy Asuka: Well… considering that Rei is half human, half mankind-killing-Satan-spawned-creature… >the priest said with a smile. Shinji: Get the little kids away! >He could see the love that this man and woman had for each other.
That made him All: WHAT? >was very proud of his daughter, Kasami, S3: Kasumi? Where? Where? >who was a spitting image of her mother. All: AARRGGGGHHHHH!!!! >was only people on earth with blue hair. Shinji: Lessee… Meryl from Trigun. >He knew that the love that these two shared was probably equal
to his love for Sasami, All: AHHHH!!!! >; give anything, he would happily give his life for either of them,
Kasami or Sasami. S3: [As Tenchi.] Now… who brought the goat’s blood and
pentagrams? > Melphina: Not some marriages. More like greed. >honor S3: Wanting their child to grow up in a ‘normal’ house. >and union of two souls, two souls Asuka: [As Priest/Tenchi.] Two souls here! Anybody want a soul? Only five dollars each! >that are at present standing before me. If there is anyone in this
room can give cause to Asuka: ME! I object! NOOO!!!! > Shinji: Crap. Ah, well. I wonder if the author made a record of the
wedding night. >"Good. Do you Rei Ayanami, take Shinji Ikari to be your lawfully
wedded husband, to Melphina: [as Rei.] No. >Rei replied, "As long as I draw breath from my body, I swear
I will love Shinji Ikari Asuka: [Cracks her knuckles.] THAT isn’t too far off…
heh. >I do, with all my heart, I do." S3: Just an ‘I do.’ Will do. >Tenchi then turned to Shinji and said "Good, Melphina: Good? What would happen if she said ‘No?’ >do you, Shinji Ikari, take Rei Ayanami to be your lawfully wedded wife, Asuka: NO! He DOESN’T! >to honor and love, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health,
for richer or poorer as Asuka: Did you hear me? NO! >"Rei is my world, I will do anything and everything to make her happy. I do." Asuka: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! > S3: Yep, demon resurrection rights right out of the Necrowombicon. >Tenchi said, "Who has the ring?" Shinji: Toji had a kid? >Tenchi then said " Rei Ayanami, repeat after me. Melphina: [As Rei.] After me. >'With this ring, I thee wed.'" Rei recited "With ring,
I thee Wed." he then turned to Asuka: [As Priest Tenchi.] You’re a moron for not choosing Asuka Langley Soryu. >"Shinji Ikari, please repeat after me. 'With this ring, I thee wed.'" Shinji then recited S3: [Opens the Necrowombicon.] Let’s try a summoning spell… [DEEP voice.] Kleptu… Veratta… Kasumi-chan! [Nothing happens.] Dang. >"With this ring, I thee wed." Tenchi smiled at Rei and
Shinji and said "It is my honor to S3: Ok! > All: [Jaws drop to the floor.] >could be heard bawling. The kissed, a kiss that united them, body and soul, of all time. Shinji & S3: FUSION HA! >After this was done, S3: They were Shinei. >Tenchi turned to all those present and said, " It is my privilege
to introduce to you, Mr. All: But… wait… Shinji is Ikari… > Shinji: Wow… that’s loud. >Yui Ikari All: [Spit take.] >looked down from heaven on to the young couple and smiled, Melphina: I thought she was in EVA-01. >She then turned to Achika Masaki All: [Spit take. Again.] >and said, "I told Shinji I was going to show him a bright future." Asuka: Actually… >They both burst out laughing. All: Just like we aren’t now! > Shinji: Except for the last two episodes and movies of EVA. > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ S3 walked out of the theater door, Melphina by his side. Shinji and
Asuka followed, looking at each other like S3 was insane – which
he was, probably… ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ When the group left the theater, Melphina looked slightly sad. She
turned to look at S3, and said, “I’ve got to go back to
my own place now…” “Yo, loser, ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ S3's random Ramble: It’s true. The only reason I’d write something like that in one of my fics, is if it was true. Christine Roe, one of my friends was in the hospital. This fic was dedicated to her. Luckily, as of 2004 (this re-publishing), she's all right. Well, that’s it for this one. Actually, it’s my first ‘request’ fic. Chewy himself made this request. Heh. Thanks, man. Credits: Duo Maxwell – Himself Original fic by: Chewy Script: S3, the Demon Godling Plot by: Ragnarock 2 Cool music listened to while writing by: Mblow0t5 Special thanks to: Stinger: |