S3's Random Ramble: Well, welcome
to S3's FIRST real lemon MST. Yeah, there WAS that "Love and Silence"
thing from MST2K1, but that was actually kinda well done. THIS piece of
shi-.... uh... selective goodness was, well, bad. All I can say is that
at LEAST Sasami isn't involved...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SOUND OFF!!! The MSTers!!!
Brandon Masters! (ARGH!)
Ai Seki! (Go to hell,
Schmuck!)
Brandon: HEY! We CAN’T insult him anymore! We FORGAVE
him!
Ai: Aww….
Brandon: NOW, or NO CUDDLING LATER. Got it?
Ai Seki! (Go
to hell, Osama Bin Laden!)
Brandon: Better.
Duo Maxwell! (Hey,
good lookin’!)
Gene Starwind! (Cut
the crap! Aw, DANG! I’m being edited!)
Shinji Ikari! (I mustn’t
run away… I mustn’t run away…)
Ryoga Hibiki! (WHERE
AM I NOW?)
Chau Masters! (Wait…
When am I again?)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brandon and Ai sat with Chau, talking in the Lounge. They had been
catching up on their… er… future… no, wait…
past… SCREW IT! They were talking, ok? Despite the fact that this
SHOULD cause a temporal paradox that will obliterate everything, they
were receiving future information.
“So when do we get married?” Ai asked innocently as she
clung to Brandon’s torso, rubbing her head on his arm, “Is
it fancy? How many kids do we have? How is our current marriage?”
Chau sweatdropped as she responded with, “Well, about a year from
now… and YES, it is fancy. You wind up spending the wedding in
Valhalla with the other Gods and Goddesses. The Psychomatic Poet provided
the hunchbacked servants for the honeymoon – which lasted for
a week. During that, you ascended to the level of Goddess – as
does every new spouse of the Gods and Goddesses. I’m one of your
two kids. The other one, you named her Star, left to join her godmother
in Williamsburg, Virginia at age 14. I guess I got the MSTing genes
from you two.” she shrugged and continued, “And, yes, you
two are still happy together.”
Ai’s big grin widened as she squealed, “I get to live out
my life with the man of my dreams!” her grip on Brandon tightened
as she sighed contently.
“Ai… GACK! …could you please… URK! …loosen
your grip? I can’t… breathe!”
“… sorry…” Ai muttered as she did so. Ai then
turned her attention to Chau again to ask, “Um… what are
you doing here, anyway? And how did you get here?”
Chau grinned as she settled down into her seat, “I figured that
you’d ask those. What I came in was what is more commonly known
as a ‘Plot Hole.’ Darth Kirby made one and gave it to us.
I got to use it to go here and fulfill history.”
“History?” asked Brandon skeptically, “What do you
mean?”
Chau laughed, “Strange as this seems… In my timeline, 20-years
ago, someone named Chau Masters came to live here. She STILL lives there,
actually… Believe it or not, it’s sort of like Trunks and
Chibi-Trunks during the Cell Saga in DBZ.”
Brandon nodded in comprehension as Ai smiled warmly, “Well, how
about we get to know each other better by… shopping?”
Chau leapt straight up into the air as she shrieked, “SURE!”
The two women, chatting away, walked to the Transporter Room. At the
last moment, Ai turned around,” Oh, and honey? NO PORNO. Do you
understand?” since Brandon had nodded, the two women entered the
room, and left for Earth.
Once they had left, Duo stuck his head into the room and winked, “did
she say anything about lemon fanfiction?”
Brandon winked back, “Nope. Get Shinji and Ryoga. We’ve
got Lemon Fanfic Sign.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Minutes
Later…)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ryoga entered the bridge after Shinji did. Ryoga had just finished
his education in anime. Luckily for him, it was the Toonami versions
of them…
“So,” Shinji asked, looking about nervously, “Where’s
Gene? Isn’t HE here?”
Duo and Brandon smiled as they passed out the briefing for the new fic.
Duo explained, “Nope. He’s piloting today. It’s not
like he’s gonna regret it, though…”
Ryoga gulped as he read the actual briefing, “It’s a lemon…
I’m dead…”
At that moment, the special Lemon Fanfic Sign alarm sounded. Strangely
enough, it was the moans of an Anibabe having an orgasm. Everyone but
Gene, who was on the bridge, ran into the theater. Duo paused for a
moment to snag his video camcorder, then ran into the theater.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The doors!
Door 7: Mike Nelson’s smiling picture!
Door 6: An igloo. You crawl inside and shiver through.
Door 5: A white door from a house. It’s locked. You pick up the
spare key from under the mat, unlock it, and go on through.
Door 4: A blue leopard’s cage. You feed it, and streak on through.
Door 3: A spider’s web! You slice it Indiana Jones style, and
sneak through.
Shinji: SPIDERS!!! AAHH!! GET ‘EM OFF! PLEASE!!!
Brandon: [Brushes off the spiders.] Wimp.
Door 2: A door made from the remains of the multiple Tom Servos! You
shiver and tiptoe on by.
Door 1: The traditional airlock. It spins open, and you enter.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brandon: Oh, I almost forgot… We’re the first ones to
try out the new 3-D theater. I hope that it’s not gonna go nutso…
Shinji: [Goes into fetal position.]
>Shinji
Shinji: [Looks up from fetal position.] Huh?
>The 10 o'Clock Assassin
Duo: [Looks at Shinji.] My ass.
>, alias Purge Raizah
Brandon: [Salutes.] Thank you, Purge. If we didn’t know your
name, we couldn’t hunt you down afterwards!
>Terror-Dack-Chill and Mobile Otaku Band. As well as Temple Of Teal-Dressed
Goddess,
>Rolento's Evil Mission, Team Yagami, Izumi Maki Fanclub, and Society
To Prevent Cruelty To
>Shinji Ikari
All but Shinji: [Pause.] BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Shinji: HEY! I’m not gonna take this lying down! I’ve got
an EVA!
Duo: Yeah, on Earth.
Shinji: [Muttering.]
>tyree3@pacbell.net
All: [Scribble down address for future use.]
>
>This is a rewrite of this fanfic. Thanks to Shade and Spencer Trace
for catching my mistakes.
>WARNING: This fanfic contains SEX!
Ryoga: Damn.
Brandon & Duo: [Fake shock.] NO!
>Viewer's discretion is strongly advised. All the characters portrayed
in this fanfic are 18 years
>or older.
Brandon: [Grumbling.] They’d BETTER be…
>ALL OF THEM!!!
Duo: We get the idea!
>Oh! And the "Lemon Commandment" of Incest has been broken!
All: Crap.
>The characters of Tenchi Muyo belong to AIC and Pioneer.
>* * * * * * * * * * * *
>
> 10-CHI CLAN
> "The Quickies"
>
>* * * * * * * * * * * *
>
>It's morning.
Duo: Whoopdie shit. It’s morning. So?
>The sun beats down upon the Masaki household as the alarm goes
off in Tenchi's room. He
>opens his eyes and tries to focus them. Then he rolls over to find
that he's not alone; Ryoko's
>right next to him, waking and totally naked.
Ryoga: [Holds onto his nose DESPRATELY as a fountain of blood erupts
from it.]
Duo: [Hands Ryoga a hankie.] Here. [Shakes his head.] Damn, man. We’re
not even to the sex yet…
>Ryoko: Good morning, Tenchi.
> [SHWING!!]
All: AAH!
Duo: [Points to the screen.] I-is THAT what I think it is?
>Tenchi: Oh no, Ryoko! Not in the middle of the morning!
>Ryoko: Yes, Tenchi. I want it... right... now...
Brandon: You know, MOST of my friends are jealous of this wimp…
Duo: Dude… what if Tenchi was an American?
Ryoga: There’d be NO PLOT! He’d have screwed EVERY WOMAN
ONCE THEY ARRIVED!
Duo: So?
>Tenchi curses himself as he grabs Ryoko and slams his mighty Johnson
into her.
All: AAAHH!!!!
Ryoga: That’s MIGHTY? [Pauses.] Bwahahaha!!!!!
>Never mind that, as soon as he's in, she's already lost deep in
hyperspace,
Duo: Since when did Ryoko have the ability to enter hyperspace? I
don’t remember that being one of her abilities…
>he thought. He just wants to get her off and be done with it...
> [SPLURRRT!!]
Brandon: DUCK AND COVER!!! [All but Ryoga hide behind their seats
as a… tidal wave of white goo hits the theater.]
Duo: Hey… where’s Ryoga? [Looks up, and sees Ryoga. He’s
in a state of catatonics.] Um… Brandon? Could you fix him up?
Brandon: [Snaps his fingers, and Ryoga is cleaned up and normal again.]
There. Let’s sit down again.
Shinji: [Looks about the theater.] Well… I must say that this
theater is VERY… interactive…
>Tenchi grabs some clean clothes and leaves his room. Ryoko's on
the bed feeling as stoned as
>Mt. Everest without the snow.
Ryoga: [As a mountain climber.] Well, I’m here. But there’s
NO SNOW!
Duo: There’s DIFFERENT peaks here! Hehehe…
Brandon: [Hits Duo.] Hentai. [Pauses as the others look at him.] WHAT?
Ai’s not here to pick up the habit!!
>
>-=**=-
>
>He goes into the nearest bathroom, but the door's locked.
Ryoga: Thank god. I don’t wanna watch him go to the bathroom.
Shinji: That brings back bad memories of that movie, “Eyes Wide
Shut.”
All: [Shiver horribly.]
>Suddenly the door gets opened from the inside. It's Aeka, the princess
of Jurai, wearing only her
>bathrobe.
Duo: AACK!! CLOSE THE DOOR!
Brandon: Man… Small chest.
Ryoga: [Dumbfounded.] She’s smaller then AKANE! [Pause.] Wait.
My nose… it’s not bleeding!
Brandon: That’s because Ayeka’s not exactly… busty,
is she?
>Aeka: Oh, my apologies. The other washroom is still in repairs
(from me and Ryoko
>fighting over you). Your father said it was okay to...
Duo: Nubuki? He said it was ok for her to use it?
Brandon: Who wants to bet that it has a hidden camera somewhere inside
it?
All: [Raise their hands.]
Brandon: I thought so…
> [SHWING!!]
All: AAH!
Brandon: Duck and cover! [All hide behind the theater chairs.]
>Too late! Tenchi pushes her back into the bathroom and flings off
her towel.
All: We did NOT want to see that!
>He takes her by the thighs and slurps his tongue at her soft petals.
Ryoga: [Scratches his head in confusion.] She’s a flower now?
>This is not exactly what Aeka wanted... Change that!
Shinji: Yes, and while your at it, could you change the ENTIRE story?
Brandon: Like placing the story in the land of happy fluffybunnies and
love?
All: [Stare at Brandon.]
Brandon: What?
>This is what Aeka wanted all morning!
Duo: D’oh!
>Tenchi stuck his mighty Johnson into the princess's most sacred
love canal. Her majesty was
>already gone. Her "Queen's English" has been reduced to
Latin,
Brandon: Next, Greek. Then: Grunts…
>to Greek, and finally to just prehistoric grunts.
All: [Look at Brandon.] How did you…
Brandon: [Shrugs.] I learned a thing or two from listening to Ai.
> [SPLURRRT!!]
Duo: DUCK!
[The tidal wave overtakes the theater.]
Brandon: is everyone all right?
All: Yes…
Shinji: [Looks at his seat.] I’m NOT sitting back down again…
>Sigh... Tenchi took his shower. Then he puts on his day clothes,
being careful not to awaken
>her royal highness from her royal high, and leaves the bathroom.
>
>-=**=-
>
>Tenchi then goes downstairs, and then realizes not to make as much
noise.
All: AAH! SASAMI LEMON SEQUENCE!
>Just then, a pair of mechanical "grab-bots" appear from
out of nowhere and try to capture him.
>With squirrel-like speed and agility Tenchi
Duo: AFTER THAT? Man, I usually can’t even MOVE after sex…
>tries his best to defend himself from said attacks. But they were
too powerful for him to handle.
>And he then gets dragged into Washuu's lab producing heavy protest.
Brandon: Remember what we all talked about?
All: WAHSU’S NAME IS SPELT WITH ONE ‘U’ DAMMITT!!!
>Shackled to a table within a darkened room, Tenchi soon catches
a view of his kidnapper:
>Washuu, sporting the "Ritsuko Akagi (tm)" look.
Shinji: LEAVE DR. AKAGI OUT OF THIS!!!
>Washuu: I'm here to collect your sperm samples again, Tenchi.
All: NOOOOO!!!!! HIDE! [All duck behind their seats again.]
> [SHWING!!]
>Tenchi doesn't have a choice at this matter.
Duo: Actually… I bet he does! Three of them!
Brandon: [Eyes widen as Duo’s comment makes sense.] YOU BASTARD!
[Begins pounding Duo into dust.]
>Washuu opens her nyloned legs wide to give him a view he'll never
forget.
Duo: AAH!
Ryoga: [Nosebleeds and almost faints.]
Shinji: I don’t know how, but I just became sterile!
>Then she frees his mighty Johnson from its cage and proceeds to
submerse it into her tight
>pussy. Tenchi's cock doubles in size, and Washuu uses every known
trick in the Universal
>Kama Sutra book to get him off.
Brandon: I didn’t know that one could bend like THAT!
>His fuse goes short very quickly, and Washuu feels it as well.
>She pulls him out, grabs the bucket nearby, and performs fellatio
over it.
Duo: INCOMING!
> [SPLURRRT!! SPLURRT!!]
Brandon: [Cries out in shock as the first stream almost hits him.]
Duo: SHIT!
>Washuu: My-my, Tenchi. That's all you can give?
All: IS THAT ALL?
Ryoga: [Flailing wildly, anime-style.] The man gave more in one shot
then most give in a lifetime!!!
>Tenchi: I couldn't help it. Ryoko and Aeka got to me first.
>Washuu: Oh, damn my luck!
>
>-=**=-
Duo: I’m STILL wondering what that is…
>
>Despite his morning troubles
Ryoga: Oh, so now they’re troubles?
>Tenchi manages to have some breakfast and be on his way to the
city.
Shinji: [Sighs in relief.] Phew. No Sasami scenes…
>Along the way he almost passes the Miho-Kiyo residence only to
realize that he's suppose to
>pick up something from them. He knocks on their door...
Ryoga: WITH WHAT?
Duo: His ‘Johnson!’
Brandon: [As Tenchi.] Could I borrow a cup of sex?
>Kiyone: Who is it?!
>Tenchi: It's me, Tenchi!
>Mihoshi: Alright! It's Tenchi! Come on in!
>And he does what he says,
Duo: Mihoshi’s a guy?
Brandon: Aack! I DIDN’T need that mental image!
>only to find out that the Miho-Kiyo duo are currently trying out
the latest in summer swimwear!
Duo: All right! [Takes out his video camera and begins recording.]
Bring on the lesbians!!
Brandon: [Turns to Duo.] You disgust me.
Duo: [Glares at Brandon.] Look, just because YOU have a woman…
Ryoga: GYAAH!! [Grabs his nose as a fountain of blood erupts from his
nose… again.]
> [SHWING ONCE MORE!!]
>Mihoshi: Wow! Whatta big Johnson you got there!
All: [Facefault.]
>Kiyone: I guess we should do something about it.
>A coin gets tossed.
Shinji: Heads.
Ryoga: Tails.
Duo: Keyone gives Head.
>Mihoshi calls for heads. The coin shows tails
Ryoga: All right!
>and Kiyone ends up giving him head.
All but Duo: D’oh!
Duo: [To the screen.] TAKE IT OFF YOU BIMBOS!!!
>Tenchi's trapped within the world of total pleasure as she gives
his mighty Johnson a tongue
>massage.
Brandon: Ugh. I just lost my… you know. Appetite.
> [SPLURRRT!!]
Shinji: [Goes pale.] … uh… Should we duck?
Duo: Naah. It’s in her mouth!
Brandon: Take cover!!! [Hides behind his seat.]
>Kiyone's whole face was covered with his sticky, white cum.
Ryoga: SHIT!!!!! [Wisely ducks as a TSUNAMI of Tenchi’s…
juices overtake the theater.]
Duo: [Spits out a bit of… stuff.] Then again, I could be wrong…
Brandon: [Leaps up, laughing.] Good thing I hid!!! Muahahaha!!!
>Kiyone: Mmmm... Delicious. ^_^ But I don't think we're done with
you just yet.
Ryoga: PLEASE BE DONE!!!
Duo: [Turns to Brandon.] WHY did you pick this fic?? I mean, there ARE
good lemon fanfics out there! Like ‘Three Sisters Tails’
or some shit like that…
Brandon: [Shakes his head.] That’s a Ranma ½ lemon. I’ll
save those for later. Besides, I never said it’d be a GOOD lemon…
Shinji: [Drops to his knees.] PLEASE tell me this is going to be over
soon…
>She then tells him to go over to Mihoshi, who was already getting
herself ready for the ultimate
>in manhood.
All: [Gobsmacked.] TENCHI? THE ‘ULTIMATE’ IN MANHOOD?
[Pause.]
Brandon: [Shakes his head in pity.] …the hell?
Duo: Hehehehe…
Ryoga: I think the man’s on crack.
Brandon: Who, Duo?
Ryoga: Naah. I’m talking about Purge Raizah here. The man MUST
be compensating for something…
>In no time he starts thrusting into her like a piston. His actions
cause the beautiful scatterbrain...
>to actually start thinking rationally.
All: [Coughing up a storm.] Bullshit!
>Kiyone is puzzled by this, but her train of thought is cut short
as Tenchi returns the favor and
>gives her pussy a full tongue massage.
Ryoga: A… cat?
>After making her explode like a firecracker Tenchi leaves her gushing
pussy and slushes his
>Johnson between her large, heaving breasts.
All: SHIT! DUCK AND COVER! [Hide again.]
>[SPLURRRT ANOTHER TIME!!]
Brandon: [Looks about meekly.] Um… I hope that this theater
isn’t going to be needed for a while…
Duo: [Puts away his camera.]
>With the two ravishing ladies tonguing themselves after a hot post-morning's
orgy, Tenchi
>leaves their apartment with the thing he neaded: a new tube of Bengay
and a bottle of
>"Painkillahz."
Duo: He’ll need it…
>
>-=**=-
Shinji: I think I figured out what that is…
Brandon: Eh?
Shinji: I think it’s one of the characters form Space Invaders…
>
>"My language is harsh! And coarse like the sands of time! You
will be STRUCK! With a tidal
>wave of words! "
Duo: [As a Southern Reverend.] As the great Psychomatic Poet once
said, “And I can see......The Promised Land! A place where crappy
lemons and their crappy writers do not exist!!”
All but Duo: Amen, Reverend… Amen…
>Tenchi's at Tokyo University's History 5 class watching a film about
the Reformation, where
>Martin Luther and his followers take a stand against the spoiling
of religion.
>After class Tenchi's about to leave when he hears a certain voice...
>Sakuya: Afternoon, Ten-chan.
>[SHWING!!]
Shinji: NO! All that she said was ‘Hi!’, not ‘Screw
me like a whore!’! ARRRGH!
Duo: Who the HELL is Sakuya?
Brandon: You ever hear of ‘Shin Tenchi’? Or ‘Tenchi
in Tokyo’?
Duo: [Pause.] No.
All but Duo: Lucky bastard…
>Tenchi: AAACK!! Hi... Sakuya...
>Sakuya: (Comes over towards him.) Isn't it amazing! The past can
be so cool once you take
>the opportu... (Notices his painful hard-on.)
>Tenchi... Let's go... ^_^;
>Sakuya takes Tenchi to the nearby cheap motel
Ryoga: Tenchi’s apartment?
Duo: [Takes out his video camera again.] Hehehehe… one can only
hope.
>where she removes her panties from under her ravishingly short
skirt.
Duo: LIFT IT UP!!!!
>She leans on the wall as Tenchi, overdriven with lust, "Johnsonizes"
Brandon: [Eye twitch.] Well… at least he’s not ‘Purging’
her…
Ryoga: Purge… as in Raizah?
Brandon: Damn straight.
>her as well. Sakuya screams with pain as well as estacy,
Shinji: Is that possible?
Duo: Might be her first time…
Ryoga: Come ON! This is Sakuya we’re talking about here!
Brandon: You spelled ecstasy wrong, Purge.
All: [Look at each other.] TYPO!!!
>since she's not used to the immence
All: TYPO!!!
>"banging" like Tenchi's alien girlfriends were.
All: They ARE?!?!
Brandon: …but… Tenchi has NO testosterone!
Duo: Same could be said for Shinji here…
Shinji: Hey…
>But she loves him SO much that she allows him to do anything
Brandon: Right… the traditional Teen Romance/Bad Lemon plot
hole.
Ryoga: Don’t tell me: ‘If you loved me, you’d do it
with me’, right?
Brandon: Yep.
Duo: Didn’t Ai say that to you when she came on to you?
Brandon: [Goes Super Saiyan. Grabs Duo by
the throat.] Shut. Up.
>he wants to her, knowing that his mighty Johnson can get both of
them off.
All: MIGHTY????? …THE HELL?
>[SPLURRRT!!]
Shinji: Whoa… it missed us entirely.
Brandon: Where’d it go?
Ryoga: [Looks out a convenient window.] Afghanistan.
Duo: [Puts away his camera.] Damn… That’s gotta be even
worse then the bombings…
>Afther about an hour of this, Tenchi and Sakuya left the motel
promising to meet (and screw)
>again.
Brandon: Arrgh… dammitt!
Ryoga: What’s wrong?
Duo: [To Ryoga.] He’s AHRLT.
Shinji: [Listening in.] What’s that?
Duo: Ayeka Hates Ryoko Loves Tenchi. He wants Ryoko and Tenchi to get
together, basically.
Shinji: Doesn’t everybody?
>
>-=**=-
>
>Maybe the rest of the day will... Aw, screw it!
Ryoga: No, you won’t! [Charges up a ki blast.] SHISHI
HOKODAN!!! [Gapes as the blast dissipates around the screen.]
Wha…?
Brandon: I thought that might happen. The theater is immune to any ki-based
attacks.
Ryoga: Damn…
>Tenchi thought as a Ryo-Ohki-style spaceship hovers over his head.
All: RUN!!!! NO RYO-OHKI LEMONS!!!
>He tries to run, but he's immediately captured by the ship's tractor
beam.
>Tenchi's soon shackled
Duo: [Flinches.] Not any S&M…
>(Again?) to a cross in the center of a dark room where infamous
bounty hunter Nagi conjures up
>a way of using him as bait for Ryoko. For some reason she has the
heat up too high.
Shinji: Thus roasting them all alive. The ship crashes into Tenchi’s
house, killing them all – ending all chances for a sequel. [Gets
up to go.] I gotta go!
Brandon: [Grabs Shinji’s arm.] No. You’re staying here.
>So she decides to remove her black cloak. She ends up revealing
to poor Tenchi her ravashingly
>slender body wearing a see-through fabric nightgown.
Brandon: Hey… Nagi doesn’t wear anything underneath her
outfit…
Ryoga: Hey… my nose isn’t bleeding!
Duo: Well, Nagi isn’t exactly much to look at…
>[SHWING!!]
>Nagi smirks at the large bulge in his pants,
Ryoga: [As Nagi.] Hehehe… It’s so small!
>deciding to have a little fun. She strikes down upon her prey like
an eagle
Duo: Let’s hope that THIS eagle kills her prey too…
>and shoves his painfully mighty Johnson into her. She manages to
get it all in despite the
>immence pain caused from such manhood as his.
Shinji: It’s not THAT big…
>But it looks like it's Tenchi's turn to be lost in hyperspace.
>[SPLURRRT...!!]
All: SHIT!! [Duck behind their seats. Nothing.]
Shinji: [Pops his head up to look.]
[SPLURT!]
Shinji: Arrgh! [Puts a bar of soap in his mouth to wash off his tongue.]
Brandon: Delayed splurts? Damn…
>Nagi has succeeded in making him explode into her. She allows herself
to have an orgasm in
>front of him,
Duo: [Screwy face.] Eww… that sounds nasty…
Brandon: The P. Poet was right. She DOES sound like a moose in heat!
All but Brandon: Eww…
>to hear her cum as she drenches his mighty Johnson, mixing her
liquid with his...
>Mitsuki: FREEZE!! You are under arrest! Come out with your hands
out, NOW!!
>It's Mitsuki in her Galaxy Police ship.
Ryoga: Hmm… I don’t remember her from the first two Tenchi
animes…
Duo: What about Shin Tenchi?
Ryoga: I watched two episodes, and skipped the rest. Sasami with PMS
was too much for even me!
>It seems that Nagi has spent too much time in the "No
Shinji: Fucking Tenchi Zone.”
>Spaceship Docking Zone."
>Nagi: Damn...!
>
>-=**=-
>
Duo: [To Brandon.] Are we done yet?
Brandon: Not even close. And two of these last 5 are the WORST here…
All but Brandon: [Whimper slightly.]
>Mitsuki: Are you alright?
>Tenchi: I'm not sure. I've been having sex with women all day.
Duo: Oh, sure… I swear, give me that now, and I wouldn’t
be complaining…
>Mitsuki: Tell ya what: Take a little rest. Lay on my bed for a
while. Okay?
>Tenchi: Why, thanks Mitsuki. (She's not really as mean as Kiyone
said she is.)
>While Tenchi slept Mitsuki takes the opportunity to try out those
neat street clothing she's got
>from Mihoshi.
Ryoga: Oh, god… I smell a lemon sequence… Well, at least
she isn’t THAT unattractive…
Brandon: [Shakes his head.] Ryoga… the ENTIRE fic is a lemon…
>Apparently she's making a bit too much noise. Tenchi wakes up to
see what the commotion's all
>about, just to be greeted by a very sexy-looking Mitsuki, exposing
her light-blue underwear
>whilst she was putting on her leggings.
All: HOLY SHIT!! She’s… she’s…
Brandon: Good-looking!
Duo: SEXY!
Ryoga: [Nosebleeds.] HominaHominaHomina….
Shinji: Uh…
>[SHWING*2!!!]
All: [Scatter as a LARGE lump extends past the screen.]
Duo: Is THAT what I think it is…?
Brandon: A little TOO interactive…
>Mitsuki: Oh no. Guess I was too much stimulation for you there,
huh?
Ryoga: [Sarcastically.] Oh, no! We think he needs MORE stimulation…
>Tenchi: Mitsuki... Help me...
>Mitsuki: Alright, alright. Here you go, kid.
>Tenchi viciously stabs his might Johnson into the depths of her
sex canal. But after a while he
>notices that the expression on her face didn't change.
Shinji: What the…?
Duo: According to this fic’s current pattern, she should be screaming
right now…
>Tenchi: Uh... Mitsuki. You're... not...
>Mitsuki: Oh, me? I do this all the time. This is how I rise through
the police ranks. And
>besides, I earn some pocket change that way. So, screw to your heart's
content.
Ryoga: A policewoman with flighty morals… not too good for her
job.
Duo: But GREAT for another line of work!!!
>"Screw" was the word that immediately set him off. His
manhood continuously plunges into her
>like a raging demon.
Shinji: RYOKO? What is she doing in there?
>Her power universal is so good; it's bringing him to the brink
of eruption. Mitsuki, after years of
>her pussy being plunged into, finds herself moaning louder...
>[SPLURRRRTT!!!]
Brandon: [Goes Super Saiyan.] FINAL
FLASH! [A large ki blast envelops the room. When it clears, there
is NO trace of the newest wave of gunk.]
Duo: Wow…
Shinji: If you COULD do that before, why wait till now?
Brandon: [Reverts.] Never occurred to me, actually…
>Mitsuki: (How can this be? I've had dicks as big as these before...
But obviously this guy
>knows how to fuck a lady. I should do more Jurai-blooded Earthlings
from now on!)
>Tenchi: Mitsuki... I have to go...
>Mitsuki: Go? And why's that?
>Tenchi: My friends are worried about me at home.
Ryoga: No, they’re worried about their sex lives.
>Mitsuki: Oh. I'm sorry... I just need you to help fill out this
Incident Report, please.
>Tenchi: *_*; It doesn't change, does it?
>
>-=**=-
>
Brandon: Ok, remember one of the BAD things I mentioned?
All but Brandon: Yes… ish.
Brandon: Well…
>Tenchi finally makes it back to the Masaki household, but Mayuka
runs him over trying to greet
>him at the door.
>Mayuka: Daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!! I'm so glad that daddy's back!!
Ryoga: Wait… The incest commandment was broken, right? Well,
Ayeka IS like an aunt…
Shinji: Does ‘Daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy’ mean anything to
you?
Duo: NO! Purge wouldn’t…
Brandon: Yep, he would.
>Tenchi: Ouch... Mayuka. You weigh a ton!
>Mayuka: Did you bring me anything, daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy?!
Duo: Nothing sexual, I hope… She’s only about 5 years
old!
>Tenchi: [That Mayuka is so cute... AAAARGH!! I'M NO PEDOPHILE!!]
All: YOU’D BETTER NOT BE!!!!!!!
>Uh... No, I didn't. Sorry.
>Mayuka: Awww... Well, that's okay! Daddy can give me something else!
Right,
>daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy?!! ^0^
Ryoga: He WOULDN’T… not with… his own daughter!!!
>[SHWING!! AAAAAHH!! NOT WITH HER!!]
All: NOO!!!
>Mayuka: Oh, what a big thing you got between your legs, daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!!
Brandon: Leave it alone, little girl… You won’t get that
much money in a lawsuit.
>[Massages her hand over the bulge in his pants.]
>Tenchi: [The better to fuck your...]
All: [Take out numerous weapons and charge ki blasts.] You’d
BETTER not finish that sentence, asshole.
>AAAARGH!! No, Mayuka! I can't... Aw, fuck it!
>Tenchi's animalistic urges take over once again.
Duo: NOOOO!!! [Takes his own braid out and tries to strangle himself
with it.]
Ryoga: [NO nosebleed, but he does faint from utter disgust.]
Shinji: [Curls up into fetal position, mumbling about Asuka.]
Brandon: [Begins screaming, grabbing his head in pain.]
>He frees his mighty Johnson and pounds the living daylights out
of his own blood relative.
All but Brandon: [Continue doing what they do.]
Brandon: [Screams louder. Light begins to fill the room.]
>Mayuka howls outworldishly as she feels herself get banged and
filled and violated repeatedly
>for minutes on end...
>[SPLURRRTT!!]
All but Brandon: [Continue.]
Brandon: ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!! [Goes Super Saiyan Level 2.]
All but Brandon: [Jaw drop.] Wha? How?
Brandon: [Deep voice, electric sparks surround him.] Wow…
Vegeta should train like this…
>An uncontrollable shockwave hits Tenchi as he empties his seed
into her. And he keeps on
>filling her; he's unable to stop his torrent of semen squirting
from out of his manhood. It ends
>up spilling from out of the lucious daughter's pussy and onto the
floor.
All: LUSCIOUS? She’s only about 5 or 6!
>Mayuka: Oooooohhh... That was the greatest, daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!!
Let's do this
>again and again and again and again, forever and ever and ever,
daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!!
Duo: Let’s not…
Brandon: [Begins to power down.] ~Gasp…~
Damn… [Fades to normal.] That
really takes it out of a person…
>Tenchi: I'm going to hell for this... I just know I'm going to
hell for this...
All: [Gives the screen the finger. With BOTH hands.] DAMN STRAIGHT,
YOU PEDOPHILE!!
>
>-=**=-
>
>After a good dinner, Tenchi decides to hit the bed early.
Ryoga: Thank god… now this fic will end…
Shinji: I can’t stand these Fuck-a-minute-fuck-a-thons much more…
>He knew it's going to be one of those days again tomorrow: The
fighting,
Shinji: The oral…
>the explosions,
Brandon: The screwing…
>the swift mood changes,
Duo: The lesbians…
>the havoc,
Ryoga: The orgys…
>the drama,
All: The fucking.
>and ultimately the fucking. This is terrible. He wished he'd never
freed the demon, Ryoko,
>from her prison.
Ryoga: Yeah, I can just see Tenchi now… [Tenchi’s voice.]
I wish I’d NEVER freed Ryoko!!! I don’t want sex!!!
>Just then, a soft light appears in the middle of the room.
Shinji: Man… Just when I’d thought we were done…
>Tenchi gets up to see what it is, thinking it's probably Ryoko
or Washuu trying to get another
>fuck from him. But then, it turns out to be the High Goddess of
Jurai Tsunami; wearing the
>Juraian ceremonial robe,
All: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Brandon: Well, at least it isn’t Sasami…
Everyone else: [Nods.] True…
>a weak smile on her face, and nothing else.
Duo: So… she’s only got a mouth? No eyes, ears, nose,
or any of the others?
Brandon: I’D find that disturbing… but Tenchi, on the other
hand…
>Tsunami: Well, Lord Tenchi. It seems that it was a busy day for
you.
>Tenchi: Well... heh. The only complaint is that it's taking it's
toll on me. I can't keep doing
>this forever, you know.
>Tsunami: But you have drunk the water from the tree of life, Tenchi
Masaki. You will be able
>to last for centuries.
Shinji: [As Tsunami.] Your Johnson, however, will last MUCH longer…
>There is no need for you to worry about that.
>Tenchi: You've got to excuse me, Miss Tsunami. All I want right
now is sleep, pure
>unadulterated
Duo: [Taking out his camera.] Sex.
>sleep.
>Tsunami: Then let me send you to dreamland, Lord Tenchi.
>And with that, the High Goddess of Jurai flings off her robe to
reveal... A Juraian summer
>string bikini swimsuit!
All: Oh god…
>[SSSSHHHWWWWIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!]
All: AAHHHH! [Dodge as a LARGE lump goes through the theater.}
Brandon: IT BROKE THE BACK WALL!!!
All: I’m NOT cleaning this up!
>Tenchi: .......... Let's eat...
Ryoga: Let’s not, and say we didn’t.
>Tenchi takes the high priestess by the waist and kisses her in
the mouth.
Shinji: What’s he kissing? Her bicuspids?
Brandon: I have no clue…
>He moves her bikini aside and starts slamming her with his mighty*2
Johnson.
Duo: I’m leaving this the HELL alone…
>It ends up being more than she can handle, but is too lost into
the fusion of pain and pleasure to
>tell him to stop.
Shinji: I’m gonna sleep now… wake me when it’s over…
>Tenchi's animalistic behavior pounds away at Tsunami's soft turquoise-haired
palace as she
>releases a "tsunami" of primordial juices onto his shaft,
balls, and legs.
Brandon: RUN!!!
All but Shinji: [Scatter as a tidal wave overtakes the theater.]
Shinji: GAAACCHHH!!!! [Spits out that… stuff.] WAKE ME NEXT TIME!
>He feels it coming, and he removes himself from her gates as he
rolls her over and prepares to
>unleash his furry all over her supreme goddess busoms.
All: TYPO!
>[SSSSPPLLLUUURRRRTTTT!!!!!!]
All: SCATTER!! [Nothing happens.]
Shinji: Wha? Where did that thing go?
Ryoga: [Looks out a window.] Um… looks like… Iraq. Sadam
Hussain’s place.
Brandon: You mean to tell me that a FREAK OCCURANCE was more accurate
then LASER-GUIDED MISSILES?
Ryoga: That’s about it…
>Tenchi's mighty*2 Johnson fires blast after blast of jizz all over
Tsunami's face, hair, and
>breasts. She grabs his Johnson and slurps the rest of his stickiness
from his member.
>
>-=**=-
>
>He's now in his dreamscape.
Duo: Good… no more senseless sex…
Brandon: Could be… naah, she’s dead.
>He's laying back on a tree at the school park, waiting for his
mother. And here she comes,
>wearing that lovely Japanese school outfit and her hair in a long
ponytail. It's Achika.
Brandon: 0_o …I was right…
Ryoga: WHAT?
Shinji: HE SCREWS HIS OWN MOTHER?
>Tenchi: Oh mom! I'm so glad I can see you again!
>Achika: (Gives him a hug.) Tenchi, my son. I'm so proud of you.
You're growing up to be a
>healthy boy.
Duo: [As Achika.] And your Johnson is… [Stops as the others
threaten to kill him.]
>Tenchi: Mom. My life is so messed up now. I'm having sex with all
these alien girls. And I
>can't seem to stop myself.
>Achika: And they can't seem to stop you either?
>Tenchi: They don't wanna stop me!
All: NO SHIT!
Brandon: [Turns to Duo.] Duo, would YOU want to stop FREE SEX with a
member of the opposite sex?
Duo: Hell, no! I’d take it WHENEVER I COULD!
>I mean... What if I were to suddenly end up banging Sasami?
Ryoga: …you already did…
>Achika: I believe it's been taken care of. The author of this fanfic
may be a pervert, but he's
>not that sick.
All: FAT CHANCE!!! [Give the screen the finger again, for the hell
of it.]
>Tenchi: But I just did Mayuka!
>Achika: I believe he was using the Mayuka from our second Tenchi
Muyo movie.
>Tenchi: This is nuts! I'm turning into a sadistic pervert just like
my dad!
Duo: [Begins to open his mouth.]
Brandon: You’d BETTER not say anything.
Duo: [Shuts his mouth. Pouts.]
>Achika: Tenchi dear... Your dad's not a sadistic pervert.
>Tenchi's dad, young Nobuyuki, is in his room, butt-nekkid
Shinji: I did NOT want to see that!
Ryoga: Ew!
>and totally evaporated
All: [Covering their eyes.] Aack!
>from having way too much sex with Achika.
>Achika: I AM!! [Flings up her skirt to give her future son a good
long look.]
All: [Covering their eyes… again.] NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
>[SSSSHHHWWWWIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!]
>Tenchi: MOOOOOM!!! I....!! Can't.... Oh, forget it!
>Tenchi grabs his future mother and leans her back to the tree. He
then frees his mighty*3
>Johnson
Ryoga: It’s not that big…
Brandon: You know, you’re right… [Turns to Duo.] What do
you think?
Duo: [Eyes STILL covered.] I’m NOT looking. Tell me when it’s
over…
>and slides it into her pussy, which is wet like the Pacific Ocean
and flowing with girlcum like
>the Nile River. He bangs his own mother continuously and mercilessly,
all sence and logic past
>the point of no return. Achika's currently holding on for dear life,
screaming out her son's name
Brandon: It’s over.
Duo: [Takes his hands off.] AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! YOU BASTARD!
> as he gets ready to ignite once again.
>[SSSSPPLLLUUURRRRTTTT!!!!!!]
All: Shit. [The wave overtakes them. When it passes, all are fine.]
Brandon: [Super Saiyan 2. Lowers ki that
was raised to save himself and friends.] Wow…
that worked great!
>
>-=**=-
>
>Tenchi's eyes snap open, bringing him back into the real world.
Duo: Oh… god, no. Not more senseless screwing…
>That was the world wet dream he had since the alien girls bunked
here. But somehow he still
>feels that great warmth and wetness along his Johnson. Someone's
in bed with him.
>Tenchi: (I wonder who it is this time. If it's Ryo-Ohki, I'm committing
suicide.)
All: [Hold various sharp objects to their wrists and throats.] I’d
better NOT be…
>He flings off the covers, and a beautiful girl had his mighty cock
It can be said that it was the
>best "deep throat" performed by anyone within this series.
Only... This girl is...
>Miaka: VANILLA ICE CREAM!!
Brandon: [Eye twitching.] This is a SENSELESS
LEMON CROSSOVER?!?!
>Tenchi: [Grimacing] Dammit, Miaka! Why the hell do you gotta come
all the way from
>"Mysterious Play" to suck _my_ dick?!!
>Miaka: [With his dick still in her mouth.] Because it's the biggest.
Bigger than Tamahome,
>Hotohori, Nuriko,
Ryoga: Isn’t Nuriko a woman?
Brandon: [Reverts to normal. Grins and shakes his head.] Nope.
>Mitsukake, Tasuki, and Chichiri combined.
>Tenchi: That's it! I'm turning gay! Maybe Nuriko's still available...
> THE (very disturbing) END
All: THANKS BE TO GOD! [Exit the theater with speed that would make
a LEVEL 3 SUPER SAIYAN envious.]
>* * * * * * * * * * * *
>
> Next Fanfic?
> Mikado Ichiban VS Asuka 120% & Advanced Variable Geo:
> Phrank's Day (Of Getting) Off
> someday...
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brandon, Duo, Shinji, and Ryoga dive out of the theater. Apparently,
that lemon was too much for them. Unfortunately… Ai and Chau have
returned. The two ladies sat in one of the chairs facing the theater
doors.
“So…” Ai smirked, “What fic did you watch?”
Brandon flubbed around for a bit, then Duo cut in, diving to the ground,
groveling, “HE MADE ME DO IT! We watched a lemon. It was ‘The
10-chi clan’ by The 10 O’clock assassin!”
Chau grinned as she turned to face Ai, “That’s what I’ve
always liked about him… willing to turn in anybody to save himself.”
Ai stood up, a feral grin on her face, “Well…” she
paused, looking at each of the poor males, “it seems that each
of you need to be punished…” Ai turned to Ryoga, “YOU
will clean the theater along with Shinji. Brandon, you are MINE…”
Chau coughed, drawing Ai’s attention, “And Duo’s punishment
is in Chau’s… capable hands.”
Chau giggled as she picked up Duo by the arm, “I hope you’re
into S&M!”
“Help…” moaned Duo as he was dragged off to his room.
At that moment, Gene chose to walk in from the Bridge. He glimpsed Duo’s
predicament, and pouted, “DAMMITT! I NEVER get the women! I wish
I never existed!”
At that moment, Gene vanished. He was replaced by a small version of
himself. The thing introduced itself, “I’m Genie, the Gene
Starwind! I’m here to make you realize the err of your wish with
strange commentary and annoying dialogue!”
There was a silence large enough to build a sports stadium – or
a crappy software company in Seattle – until Brandon spoke up,
“I wanna have a beer. Where's Gene so he can drink with me?”
“Noooo Gene!~ Ehehehehe!!!” the sprite cackled annoyingly.
Brandon stopped struggling against Ai. He grinned slightly, “Well…
that’s a unique solution to a problem that I was going to address
soon. Living space has been solved.” And, arms crossed, he was
drug into their shared bedroom.
Ryoga and Shinji sat there for a few seconds, shock written onto their
faces. They waited fro a few minutes, then began to hear screams of
pain and joy. Also, the shireks of laughter from the two women echoed
out of the rooms.
Ryoga turned to Shinji, “You want to go clean the theater up?”
Shinji shrugged, “Why not? I don’t want THAT punishment.”
“HEY!” Genie the Gene Starwind sprite screeched in fury,
“WHO’S GONNA TAKE BACK THAT WISH?”
Shinji faced the sprite, a look of anger on his face. He picked up the
tiny creature with one hand, and squeezed it. When he opened the hand
again, the sprite was gone. Apparently, it had vanished a few seconds
before. With that, the two friends grabbed the cleaning supplies, and
exited into the theater.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The End… until episode #1004, anyway…
I KNOW that some of you are probably pissed that I wrote off Gene. Too
bad. I already have one pervert on board!
DEDICATION:
loldudeo! You have made some GREAT MSTs, and have a pretty damn good
potential. Keep at it!
Mblow0t5! You have given me inspiration, reviews, laughs, and a CD.
Also, you have been my only Pre-reader. I thank you for all of these.
Now if I could only repay you… a co-MST?
Schmuck! Yes, I know he can be an asshole, but EVERYONE deserves a
second chance. Besides, he reviewed!
Blabover5! Thank you for the kind reviews!
Gabe Ricard! You write some of the BEST MSTs I’ve read in a while.
I would like to do a co-MST or something, but only if you want!
Psychomatic Poet! You have written some of the BEST MSTs on the website
tmffa.com. I can’t pick an overall favorite for the internet!
Darth Kirby! I wish you luck in college, and stuff like that!
Well, that’s it for this fic! Look out for the Christmas Special
in #1004!
S3