Sponser an elephant!
This page is all about Franck the elephant, he was born in Africa but was taken to Telford zoo when his parents where brutaly raped and murderd by uneducated hunters sherching for ivory. He managed to escape from the impirial death camp by out smarting the guard in a game of poker while he made a copy of the key to his meter squar cage. He kreped past the guard and out of the prison 2 days be for he was sentanced to death by the hunters counsel. He managed to stuff his rations of carots in a his dayly supply of socks to act as a decoy when he made his escape.
Staff at the zoo:
The zoo keeper who looks after Franck intermatly: Billy
Franks styleist: Jhony
Jhonys whife after she left Fred: Wilma
follow the adventures of the Zoo crew exclusive here on this page!!
Day 1: Franks new room mate.
Due to budget cuts Frank had to take on a room mate to pay the rent on his 6 bedroomed, ditached semi in londans Hyed park so moved to Telfor park but for the same life style he'd become acustomed to in the imperial death camp he would need a Natzi room mate this is where we went through a rigeras few days looking for candidates and we came up with a nice fellow for him to bond with:
Cousin Itt
the two got on aboalutly brilliant and have been the best of cums ever since.
Day 2: Itt's old girlfrend wants child suport :s
Itt's old grilfrend (shown here posing for a beauty magasine) wanted 6 years of unpayed chiled suport for his 32 fartherless children. Itt was in a bit of a pickle claming he had never seen the woman befor in his life but back stage only to the camaras he said:
"I dont want Frank to find out but all she sez is true, whot im a suposed to do?"
Shoking news for the Zoo Crew! should we dump Itt? should we help this bad farther? shopuld we tell Frank?
e-mail at adamohs@hotmail.com to register your vote NOW!!
Day 3: Find out whot hapens to Itt.
after the results of the flooding the e-mail hear at my e-mail address only a few of the requests got through be for all the porn arived and blockd the Inbox, i had to sift through "dept", "insurance" and hardest of all the "porn" e-amails and i finaly found the votes... 0. the Zoo crew was at a loss whst should we do? no one seems to care so we arnt going to tell you whats happens for the next few days untill you start showing some apretiation!!!!
remember: adamohs@hotmail.com
Day 7: All sorted.
Itt's old girl friend has died after a suspicias attack by a "bald eagle", the two are picktured below:
Infomation is sketchy as the eagle is obviasly not bald, our sourses at the police station may be covering up the identity of the felon. The egal is known as Elbert the "mass-murdering, sycoh, rapist, devil chiled, assasin" Eagla, not much is known about him as he would not tell us anything about himself when we hierd him (if you hadn't been so meen you'd already know this). Itt's childeren will either die, or go to a relitive and die, go in to child suport and die, starve and die, get raped and die, or do nothing and die, either way they will leave Itt a free man!
We also decided that if we where to help Itt we should tell Frank every thing, so we told nim that Itt's old girlfriend was a drugiy waked on smak, dope, weed, ganja, ruifer and tranquilisers (and some more funny words he didnt understand). All sorted.
Day 8: The Land LORD!!
To day Frank and Itt met their land LORD Mr T.
He wasn't very happy!! he was looking for 4 weeks unpayed rent (even tho they only lived there 8 days!!) he was expecting $4,000,000.00!! The film crew stayed away from him and where unable to do enything to stop him! "Where's me $4,000,000.00 rent, god dam" he wayled at the top of his voice, when our man went 2 speek with him Mr T just eat him!... 92 Traanquilisers a really big truck and a deep river later we managed to get rid of him for another month... few!
Day 9: crew check over
Nothing much happend to day so we decided to show of our crew... well the few that could be botherd to show up today and thows who where not comiting dole fraurd, who where the one's not at work today hhmmmm. So here we have the small but efective crew that puts this to gether for you at home.
The Derector : Viney
This pickture was taken earlyer today, vimey has reaently been on holoday to spain selling dogy time-shares to the torist's. He used to be a used car sales man be for his wife left him for a.. er... older man..... er..... yer.... that was it he lost all his money, his job, his lively hood and was dieing on a ditch when he was found by the zoo crew in the dole office.
The Floor Manager : Kiren
Kiren is a speshial case for the zoo crew, we first met hin when beeting of scavengers from the bins, then we met him again when he was brought in to the zoo suspected as being a fury bear with raybeas! we cleened him up anf gave him a new life, now he can say a hole 4 words! "fuck", "me", "pleeez", "loli" and "fankoo" wich is translated as "thank you kindley good sir".
Day 10: OOPS!!
unforchanatly there where a few problems whith the camara's, sound and the of the filming equiptment as our boss had taken them to film some porn with his latest girlfriend ***. So as i was doing that i couldant very well stop and go see what the freaking elephant was doing! well hears sum screen shots:
its called "Makeing Friends The American Way", its about a man who kills lots of people and as ts a porn film has lots of sex to sexy wimen, the Zoo crew rates it 666 out of 10!
Day 11: Moonshine
The two raskals decided that they would try and avoid us today while they do some ilegal stuff... like they could!! out of sight we heard how cousin Itt when to buy some Moonshine for the two youngsters. They stayed hiden most of the time but we court part of a conversation:
Frank: Did you get the stuff?
Itt: well i when to the guy...
Franck: yeh and...
Itt: I..I.. got this!
Franck: wow! you had me goin for a while there
Itt: I evan got 2 bottles!
Franck: how'd you mangage that i wasn't even sure we had enuf for 1.
Itt: well we didn't, but the guy offerd me this new stuff caled "sun shine"!!
Franck: er.. o..k..
Itt: wow this is strong stuff!!!!
Frank: give us one... wow... wait a muinit..... this is sun screen you dumbass!!!
Itt: what you meen?
Franck: look at the bottle!
Itt: WOW this is facter 20! this is strong stuff!
Franck: oh.. my... god...
At this poin we had to interveen after Itt had drunk an entier bottle of sun screen and pumpo his stomach.