"Never Underestimate the Predictability of Stupidity"
86 carat diamond - BLING!
Snatch:
Most confusing movie....EVER! If you have ever seen anything directed by Guy Ritchie, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
First off, the characters all have funny accents. It's tough to decipher anything Boris is saying through his thick Russian, and Mickey's "parkie" Irish jibberish is just insane.
It's also brilliant. If anyone can throw together this much random crap and make it work, it's Guy Ritchie. You might have to watch Snatch a few times before you fully appreciate it, but the film takes dozens of little storylines and ties them altogether.
For those of you who don't have the time to watch Snatch over and over, I'll try to help you straighten everybody out:
Bricktop:
Goofy looking gangster/bookie. You never want to be in his debt, because once you are, you will never get out. Cross him one too many times, and you end up as pigfood.
Cousin Avi:
Black-market diamond pusher from New York. Struggles to keep Doug the Head and Franky Four-Fingers from screwing up.
Doug the Head:
Wannabe Jew. His cell phone even plays "Have Nagila." Owns a jewelry shop in London.
Turkish:
Underground boxing promoter/agent. Currently in search of a new caravan. Sends Tommy and Gorgeous George out to buy one from the "parkies."
Tommy:
Turkish's sidekick. Obsessed with protection, Tommy buys a gun from Boris the Blade. Turkish doesn't approve of the investment - "Protection from what? 'Zee Germans'?"
Tyrone:
Chubby getaway driver for Vinny and Sol. I think Vinny put it best - "What the f#$% can he get away from?"
Bullet-Tooth Tony:
Thug for hire. Helps Cousin Avi track down Franky after he disappears. Never leaves home without his Desert Eagle .50 ready for whatever.
Mickey:
Jibberish-talking Irish "parkie" and bareknuckle boxing legend. Likes "dags" and caravans, especially periwinkle blue ones.
Boris the Blade:
Old time Russian gangster. AKA Boris the Bullet-Dodger. He dodges bullets. Very hard to kill.
Franky Four-Fingers:
A gambler and a thief, Franky is entrusted to carry the diamond from London to New York. Bad idea.
Vinny / Sol:
Inept pawnbrokers who turn to a life of crime when Boris hires them to hold up Franky. They manage to screw up pretty much everything when they try to rob one of Bricktop's bookies.
Gorgeous George:
Slow-witted boxing champ. Fights in underground matches for Turkish and Tommy. Gets knocked the f@#$ out when he goes up against Mickey.
At least, I don't think I missed anybody... Confused yet? Don't worry, it's a funny movie, even if you don't have a damn clue what's going on.
-SKILLET-
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