I am Better than Cavemen

Cavemen:

Here are some examples of cave art, found in (duh) caves, many in France. These were produced in the Paleolithic Era, a.k.a. a long-ass time ago. My goal here is to show just how well these people could draw/paint/whatever.



Ok. What—the hell. This is a hand. Big deal. I was drawing hands in kindergarten—hell, I bet I was even doing some experimental tracing of my hands way back in pre-school. So for this guy to blow some paint on his hand and the wall is like me tracing my hand in preschool. Both require no thought or originality, unless this guy was the first to make an image of a hand. Plus he has a messed-up thumb. My response: F



A camel with horns? Pure genius. Oh wait, nevermind, it’s just stupid. I laugh at your primitive ways. Why don’t you spend your time hunting for the good of the clan, as opposed to drawing something you saw REAL men drag in. Better yet, make a knife for me to kill you with, art-boy—go beat rocks together, sissy. F



There’s this one guy with horns, maybe the Devil, and another guy swinging something resembling either a tree or fish bones around. And on the other side, there are just lines. Maybe it’s me, but you don’t have to be advanced to draw stick figures. Nice going, you managed to make yourself immortally stupid. F.