Goooooooooooooo Planet!!!
By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN PLANET!
Captain Planet:
Best environmental cartoon...EVER! Just imagine...an army of 8-year-olds running up and down the neighborhood, picking up garbage after every episode. If Captain Planet doesn't get you hyped about saving the world, nothing will.
Basically, the premise of the show is that Gaia, the Earth spirit, calls these five kids from around the globe to become the Planeteers. They each get a ring with an elemental power that they use to help protect the environment. When shit really hits the fan, they can put all their powers together and call Captain Planet to come help them.
Unfortunately, Captain Planet kinda sucks. I mean, if he gets pollution on him, he's down for the count. That means sewage, smog, grime, dirt, whatever. If he does get slimed, he has to go back into the Earth to recharge. That's total weak. Pollution isn't exactly kryptonite - it's pretty damn easy to find.
So yeah, because Captain Planet is a big pussy, the Planeteers are usually on their own.
The Planeteers:
Wheeler (Fire): Fire is the best power. You can burn stuff with it. Like trees. Unfortunately, when it comes to saving the environment, fire = useless.
Kwame (Earth): Earth is a good power too. Kwame can make earthquakes and ravines and walls and stuff.
Gi (Water): Behold the power of WATER. This means waves, water spouts, rain, etc. Water makes life, saves the environment, and all that. Basically, it's the most useful power.
Linka (Wind): Sure, her power is wind, but she should have been fire, because she is hot ! Wind is still pretty cool though. She can make tornadoes and stuff.
Ma-Ti (Heart): What kind of faggot power is this? Heart? What is he supposed to do against the bad guys? Hump their leg? Worst Planeteer...EVER!
Celebrity Voiceovers You Probably Didn't Know About:
Gaia - Voiced by Whoopi Goldburg (Seasons 1 - 3)
Dr. Blight - Voiced by Meg Ryan (Season 1)
Super-Computer MAL - Voiced by Tim Curry (Seasons 1 - 6)
Verminous Skumm - Voiced by Jeff Goldblum (Season 1)
Sly Sludge - Voiced by Martin Sheen
Zarm - Voiced by Sting (Seasons 1 and 2)
Theme Song Lyrics:
"EARTH!"
"FIRE!"
"WIND!"
"WATER!"
"HEART!"
"Go Planet!"
"By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!"
Captain Planet, he's our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero
He's our powers magnified
And he's fighting on the planet's side
Captain Planet, he's our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero
Gonna help him put asunder
Bad guys who like to loot and plunder
"You'll pay for this Captain Planet!"
We're the Planeteers
You can be one too
'Cause saving our planet is the thing to do!
Looting and polluting is not the way
Hear what Captain Planet has to say!
"The Power is Yours!"
-SKILLET-
LET THE TREE-HUGGING COMMENCE
GO BACK HOME
