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| ~I've got a plan to cunning, you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel. ~I may be inconsistant, but not all the time. ~High explosives are applicable where truth and logic fail. ~You're never too old to learn something stupid. ~Enough research will tend to support your theory. ~Hospitality: Making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were. ~A single death is a tradgedy, a million deaths is a statistic. ~I don't have a solution, I just admire the problem. ~This is my favorite time of day. Well, there it goes. ~I think, therefore I am, I think. ~Before you critizinze someone, walk a mile in his shoes... That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away- and barefoot! ~I went to a restaurant that said "Breakfast at anytime" so I ordered French taost during the Renaissance. ~Dain Bramaged. ~My ambition is to live forever, so far, so good. ~Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs louder. ~Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. ~The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot... THe guy who invented the other three, he was the reall genius. ~I had a friend onece. Then the rope broke and he got away.. ~If you can't convince them, confuse them. ~We knock on wood, to scare termites. ~Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings... They did it by killing all those who opposed them. ~Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. ~Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice Doggie" until you find a rock. ~I stayed up all night playing poker wiht Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. ~What has four legs and one arm? A happy pit bull. ~You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever. ~I beleive in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures. ~I used up all my sick days, I'm calling in dead. ~The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant. ~When we talk to God its called prayer. When God talks back, its called schizophrenia. ~On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: Lets see the evolutionists try and figure this one out. ~Don't judge a book by its movie. ~If I ever get rich, I hope im not mean to poor people, like I am now. ~A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather, and ask for it back when it rains - Robert Frost ~To err is human, to forgive is against company policy. ~It will be a freat day when schools have all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to afford a new bomber. ~If at first you don't suceed, hide all evidence you tried. ~Consider the daffodil, and while you're doing that, i'll be over here, looking through all your stuff. ~We reserve the right to arm bears. ~Therapy helps, but screaming obsenities is cheaper. ~We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart. ~Do you prefer spanish, french or italien food? I don't care, I want a boiled egg. ~The British has a reputation be remaining calm even when there is no crisis. ~Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts! ~Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway. ~Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography. -Paul Rodriguez ~If you lend a person 20$ and you never see him again, it was probably worth it. ~If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing. ~Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. ~Don't accept your dog's admiration as the conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. ~Dog's have owners, cats have staff.
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