When Jack Met Buffy
By: Memet
Summary: Prequel to ‘Tall Tale’ (of sorts) in the ‘God, Why
Did You Let Those Two Meet?’ Series
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer – Oh, if but for a moment I would own thee – but alas,
in only my dreams
A/N: Since so many people wanted to know how these two met, I decided to write another one. I’m still not sure about continuing on the series since I didn’t get as many reviews for the last instalment and I don’t want to get stale and redundant and ruin the series. As usual, I’ll leave it up to you guys.
((((((0))))))
It was past midnight and the usually bustling streets of Los Angeles were nearly empty, except for a few exceptions. A blonde girl was walking casually through the night, whistling an undistinguishable tune. The teenager was wearing a revealing outfit that would have caught the attention of any man – no matter of what age – but it was her companion that caught the man’s eye. The figure was trailing behind the oblivious girl, looking around for any other passer-bys. The man quickly ducked behind a building, watching the two suspiciously through narrow eyes. His suspicions were proven correct as the figure – assuming they were alone – grabbed the girl. Springing to action, the man ran from his hiding place and tackled the figure as the girl looked on with admiration and gratitude.
Having the would-be attacker in a hold, the man turned to the girl to make sure she was okay.
“Thanks to you,” she said in appreciation, to which the man just smiled and said, “It’s what I do.”
((((((0))))))
“’It’s what I do’? Geez, Jack if you’re going to tell the story wrong at least make yourself look like less of a dork.”
“Hey, I’m just telling it the way I remember it.”
“Maybe if you’re remembering a bad B-Rated movie.”
“Anyways…”
((((((0))))))
“Thanks to you,” she said in appreciation, to which the man just smiled and said, “It’s what I do.”
Suddenly, the attacker broke the hold and turned to the girl and the man. He took a step forward when the man pulled out a gun and pointed it at the attacker.
“I suggest you leave – now.”
The attacker looked at the gun and [laughed].
((((((0))))))
“Hey! Who’s telling this story?”
“Oh, you are, but I’m not going to let you edit out the best part.”
“I don’t get it, the guy laughed when you pointed a gun at him?”
“Well, Carter, he was a…”
“PCP user.”
“Right! PCP…so the guy laughs at me…”
((((((0))))))
The man frowned as the other laughed and said seriously, “If you don’t
think I’m willing to shoot, think again.”
“Oh, I think you’ll shoot. I can smell the blood on your hands.”
((((((0))))))
“Wait a minute, ‘he could smell the blood on your hands’?”
“He was high, Danny, what do you expect? Now, can I continue on with the story without anymore interruptions?”
“Oh, yeah, go ahead.”
“Thanks.”
((((((0))))))
The girl touched the man slightly on shoulder and said with fear in her voice, “It would be best if we just got out of here.”
The attacker made a move forward and the man shot him in the knee. With a howl the attacker fell to the ground and clutched the wounded knee. With a growl he made to stand up when he looked at the man in fear. Thinking better of the situation, he turned off and ran.
((((((0))))))
“Buffy, are you okay?”
“Sorry, just…swallowed some air.”
“Do you want to tell the story?”
“Yes!”
“Well, tough luck.”
((((((0))))))
The man turned to the girl and frowned as he took in her age and attire.
“Don’t you think it’s a little late for you to be out on a school night?”
“[Don’t you think you’re a little old to be playing the knight in rusting armour?]”
((((((0))))))
“Buffy!”
“Sorry.”
((((((0))))))
“How about I walk you home?”
The man walked the young girl to her house without any sign of the attacker. The paused, turned, and gave the man a warm smile.
“Thanks. My name’s Buffy, by the way.”
“Jack. Jack O’Neill.”
((((((0))))))
“And that’s how you two met?”
“Pretty much, Danny Boy.”
“After all your cloak and dagger theatrics about how you two met – and that’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“How come I’m getting the feeling your lying…”
“Us? Lie? Where ever would you get such an idea?”
“Because you guys have been pretty close-lipped about how you met. I find it hard to believe that’s how you really met.”
“I agree with Daniel, sir. There’s something you’re not telling us.”
“Well, I was wearing high heel boots, a black skirt, and red top if that helps.”
“That’s not the kind of details we were talking about, Buffy.”
“You guys aren’t going to stop bugging us until we tell all the details you, are you?”
“Nope, so spill it, sir.”
((((((0))))))
It was past midnight and the usually bustling streets of Los Angeles were nearly empty, except for a few exceptions. A blonde girl was walking casually through the night, whistling an undistinguishable tune. The teenager was wearing a revealing outfit that would have caught the attention of any man – no matter of what age – but it was her companion that caught the man’s eye. The figure was trailing behind the oblivious girl, looking around for any other passer-bys. The man quickly ducked behind a building, watching the two suspiciously through narrow eyes. His suspicions were proven correct as the figure – assuming they were alone – grabbed the girl.
((((((0))))))
“Jack! This is exactly the same story as before.”
“Forcryingoutloud, Danny, if you would stop interrupting me…”
((((((0))))))
The man looked up the girl to see if she was all right, and she looked at him in astonishment and asked, “[What the hell are you doing?]”
((((((0))))))
“Voiceovers are not necessary, Buffy.”
“I’m not going to be associated with your dialogue – I have a reputation to uphold.”
“Jack, why don’t you just let Buffy tell the story?”
“Teal’c, buddy, pal, back me up here.”
“I am afraid I concur with DanielJackson’s opinion on this matter.”
“Traitors! Philistines!”
“Jack, do you even know what that means?”
“Do too.”
“Do not.”
“Too.”
“Not.”
“Geez, Willow, thanks for the offer but instead of travelling the globe with my friends I’d rather stay inside a badly decorated mountain with two of the three stooges.”
“Fine! Betray your Commanding Officer! I know who’s getting latrine duty on our next mission…”
((((((0))))))
Buffy calmly walked through the dark alleys, keeping her eyes open for any suspicious characters. It hadn’t taken long for a figure to begin tailing her. Outwardly, she gave no indication she had spotted the tail but constantly kept her senses trained on the figure.
Out of the corner of her eye, she also spotted another figure trying to remain inconspicuous – and doing a poor job of it.
((((((0))))))
“Hey! I didn’t insult you when I was telling the story.”
“Shut up, Jack.”
((((((0))))))
Sensing that her tail was about to make his move, she temporarily forgot about the other figure and prepared herself for an attack. Thus, it was a shock when the ‘forgotten’ figure launched itself from its hiding place.
Buffy stared in shock as the man tackled the stalker and wrestled him to the ground and placed a body hold on him. The man turned to Buffy and asked if she was fine.
Torn between amusement and annoyance, Buffy smiled and nodded before saying, “I’m good, but that wasn’t the smartest thing to do.”
The man looked confused and was about to ask why when the figure broke from grasp. Immediately, the man drew his gun. To his astonishment the figure just laughed and even mocked the gun-toting maniac.
(((((((0)))))))
“Buffy!”
“Oops.”
(((((((0)))))))
As the stalker moved forward, the man blasted his kneecaps – hoping to stop the stalker without having to kill him. The stalker fell to the ground again, clutching his knee.
Buffy watched the exchange, and winced sympathetically as her ‘rescuer’ shot. She was about to get the man to walk her home for ‘her own safety’ when she saw the stalker get to his feet once more.
The man had turned back to Buffy to see if she was all right when he noticed her looked over his shoulder with a look of surprise, and horror. He turned back to see the man he had shot…growing spikes, claws, and other very dangerous looking limbs.
“What the hell is that?” he gasped, to which the Buffy calmly replied.
“That is a demon.”
((((((0))))))
“A demon.”
“Yup.”
“You want us to believe that you met a real live demon.”
“Why not? We fight power-mad wannabe god aliens, forcryinoutloud.”
((((((0))))))
“I think now would be a good time to run,” Buffy said slowly, backing up as the demon continued to grow larger. The two turned and run and the man was surprised that the girl was keeping up with him easily.
Suddenly, the girl stopped and threw what looked to be a piece of wood at the demon. The stake imbedded itself where the heart would be on a human. The demon looked at the protruding stick in amusement and ripped it out.
The two started running again and quickly dove into an alleyway. Quietly, they zigzagged through the streets and settled into an empty building and settled down to wait – hopefully hidden and safe. Now relatively safe, the man turned to Buffy.
“What the hell did you throw a stick at it for?”
((((((0))))))
“That’s a good question.”
“It works on vampires…I thought I would give it a shot.”
“Of course, how silly of me to not realize that.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Danny.”
“Why did you even have a stake to begin with?”
“I would explain that if I hadn’t been interrupted, Sam.”
“See!”
“Keep quiet, Colonel.”
((((((0))))))
“What the hell did you throw a stick at it for?”
“It works on vampires!” Buffy hissed back, keeping an ear out for any sign of the demon. The man looked incredulously at her.
“Did that look like a vampire to you? What the hell am I saying, vampires aren’t even real.”
“Right, and I’m sure the demon out there is just a figment of your imagination,” she responded sarcastically.
“And what the hell were you doing with a stake in the first place? Who the hell are you?” the man demanded.
“I’m Buffy Summers, a freshman at Hemery High School and a cheerleader. Well, I was before I got expelled,” she admitted sheepishly.
“For what? Applying makeup in class?” he asked sarcastically.
“If you must know, I …”
Buffy was interrupted by the sound of the door crashing open. The demon entered and grinned maniacally as he caught his prey’s scent. Fully expected the prey to run, the demon was surprised when the female calmly stepped into the open. Narrowing its eyes, the demon proceeded cautiously as it began to sense something amiss with the female.
When it has first started stalking the human, she had seemed helpless. But now his senses were warning him of danger. Buffy saw that the demon was no longer acting rashly and decided to set aside her pretence.
“Hello, big, dumb, ugly and soon-to-be slayed,” Buffy said mockingly, as she stepped out from her hiding place.
“Slayer,” the demon hissed in comprehension.
((((((0))))))
“Slayer?”
“Slayer of demons, otherwise known as the Chosen One, She-who-frequents-graveyards, and destroyer of high schools.”
“You expect us to believe that while going to high school you moonlighted as a demon hunter by using small wooden stakes?”
“Well, why not?”
“It’s just that you’re so…so…”
“Small? Blonde? Girly?”
“Yeah, Carter, if I remember the first time we met you said just because your reproductions organs were…”
“Sir!”
“…on the inside instead of the outside didn’t mean you couldn’t hack it. Seems a little hypocritical of you, Carter.”
“Ew, Carter, ew.”
“How about we get back to the tale, shall we?”
((((((0))))))
Buffy just grinned and drew back her first. Jack winced as her heard the crack as the right hook smashed into the demon’s jaw. Unfortunately, the demon didn’t appear to be as hurt by the punch as it sounded and quickly retaliated. The two quickly began a series of quick punches and kicks. Jack raised his gun and waited until he could get a clean shot. Seeing an opening, Jack fired off several quick shots. But, unfortunately…
Shocked, the three combatants stilled.
“You shot me!”
((((((0))))))
“You shot Buffy?”
“It just grazed her.”
((((((0))))))
“You shot me!”
((((((0))))))
“We get the point, Buffy.”
“I still can’t believe you shot me.”
“How many times do I have to apologize for that?”
“Until you let me shoot you.”
“I’m not letting you shoot me.”
“You do realize that as a member of SG-1 I will be given a gun.”
“…”
((((((0))))))
“I can’t believe you shot me!” Buffy said, looking at her bleeding arm.
“Oh, come one, it’s just a flesh wound. Big and ugly here did more damage with his claws,” Jack protested.
“But he isn’t supposed to be on my side. And why the hell were you shooting at him in the first place?”
“Because guns hurt people?” Jack replied slowly in a condescending manner. The demon stepped back slightly from the arguing pair with a slightly bewildered look on his face.
“As you might have noticed, THAT THING’S NOT PEOPLE!” Buffy screeched, pointing at the disgruntled demon.
“Really? Geez, what do you know? I totally missed the big-ass horns and claws,” he replied sarcastically.
“And it’s not like it worked that well the last time you shot it.”
“What about you, Miss Let’s-throw-a-stick-at-it?”
“At least I’m not a gun-toting maniac.”
The demon continued to look back and forth at the arguing duo, annoyed that they appeared to have forgotten its presence. It stepped forward and drew itself up to its full height, saying in a deep voice, “Humans, prepare to…”
“Do you mind!” the pair yelled at the demon before continuing to insult each other. Astonished, the demon simply threw up his hands. Muttering under its breath about being under appreciated the demon morphed back into its human shape and left the two crazy humans behind.
It would be ten minutes before either of the humans noticed their adversary’s absence.
((((((0))))))
“So Jack walked me home, we’ve kept in touch ever since.”
The members of SG-1 stared at their comrades in disbelief. The two sat calmly under the scrutiny, faces carefully blank.
“So how did you two really meet?” Daniel finally asked.
“Space-monkey, don’t you trust us?” Jack asked, mock hurt plastered over his face. Beside him, Buffy mouth was set in an adorable pout.
Sam and Daniel just shook their heads and rose from their seats, Teal’c shadowing their actions.
“We’ll get the story out of you two someday,” Sam warned, shaking a finger at the grinning duo. Beside her Daniel was still shaking his dead, muttering under his breath about idiotic colonels, crazy girls and mental demons.
The two were finally alone in the room, silent and unmoving. Calmly, Buffy raised her hand and held out an open palm towards Jack. Scowling, Jack reached into his pocket and slapped a twenty down into her grasp.
“Told yeah they wouldn’t believe it.”
“Daniel believed aliens built the pyramids, but he can’t believe there might be demons,” Jack remarked grumpily. “Well, I know whose job it is the dig the latrine on the next mission.”
The sat together, enjoying the comfortable silence (something their co-workers would never think them capable of). Jack frowned slightly as a thought occurred to him.
“Hey, Buff?”
“Yeah?”
“Whatever did happen to that demon?”
Title: When Jack Met Buffy
Summary: Prequel to ‘Tall Tale’ (of sorts) in the ‘God, Why
Did You Let Those Two Meet?’ Series
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer – Oh, if but for a moment I would own thee – but alas,
in only my dreams
A/N: Since so many people wanted to know how these two met, I decided to write another one. I’m still not sure about continuing on the series since I didn’t get as many reviews for the last instalment and I don’t want to get stale and redundant and ruin the series. As usual, I’ll leave it up to you guys.
((((((0))))))
It was past midnight and the usually bustling streets of Los Angeles were nearly empty, except for a few exceptions. A blonde girl was walking casually through the night, whistling an undistinguishable tune. The teenager was wearing a revealing outfit that would have caught the attention of any man – no matter of what age – but it was her companion that caught the man’s eye. The figure was trailing behind the oblivious girl, looking around for any other passer-bys. The man quickly ducked behind a building, watching the two suspiciously through narrow eyes. His suspicions were proven correct as the figure – assuming they were alone – grabbed the girl. Springing to action, the man ran from his hiding place and tackled the figure as the girl looked on with admiration and gratitude.
Having the would-be attacker in a hold, the man turned to the girl to make sure she was okay.
“Thanks to you,” she said in appreciation, to which the man just smiled and said, “It’s what I do.”
((((((0))))))
“’It’s what I do’? Geez, Jack if you’re going to tell the story wrong at least make yourself look like less of a dork.”
“Hey, I’m just telling it the way I remember it.”
“Maybe if you’re remembering a bad B-Rated movie.”
“Anyways…”
((((((0))))))
“Thanks to you,” she said in appreciation, to which the man just smiled and said, “It’s what I do.”
Suddenly, the attacker broke the hold and turned to the girl and the man. He took a step forward when the man pulled out a gun and pointed it at the attacker.
“I suggest you leave – now.”
The attacker looked at the gun and [laughed].
((((((0))))))
“Hey! Who’s telling this story?”
“Oh, you are, but I’m not going to let you edit out the best part.”
“I don’t get it, the guy laughed when you pointed a gun at him?”
“Well, Carter, he was a…”
“PCP user.”
“Right! PCP…so the guy laughs at me…”
((((((0))))))
The man frowned as the other laughed and said seriously, “If you don’t
think I’m willing to shoot, think again.”
“Oh, I think you’ll shoot. I can smell the blood on your hands.”
((((((0))))))
“Wait a minute, ‘he could smell the blood on your hands’?”
“He was high, Danny, what do you expect? Now, can I continue on with the story without anymore interruptions?”
“Oh, yeah, go ahead.”
“Thanks.”
((((((0))))))
The girl touched the man slightly on shoulder and said with fear in her voice, “It would be best if we just got out of here.”
The attacker made a move forward and the man shot him in the knee. With a howl the attacker fell to the ground and clutched the wounded knee. With a growl he made to stand up when he looked at the man in fear. Thinking better of the situation, he turned off and ran.
((((((0))))))
“Buffy, are you okay?”
“Sorry, just…swallowed some air.”
“Do you want to tell the story?”
“Yes!”
“Well, tough luck.”
((((((0))))))
The man turned to the girl and frowned as he took in her age and attire.
“Don’t you think it’s a little late for you to be out on a school night?”
“[Don’t you think you’re a little old to be playing the knight in rusting armour?]”
((((((0))))))
“Buffy!”
“Sorry.”
((((((0))))))
“How about I walk you home?”
The man walked the young girl to her house without any sign of the attacker. The paused, turned, and gave the man a warm smile.
“Thanks. My name’s Buffy, by the way.”
“Jack. Jack O’Neill.”
((((((0))))))
“And that’s how you two met?”
“Pretty much, Danny Boy.”
“After all your cloak and dagger theatrics about how you two met – and that’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“How come I’m getting the feeling your lying…”
“Us? Lie? Where ever would you get such an idea?”
“Because you guys have been pretty close-lipped about how you met. I find it hard to believe that’s how you really met.”
“I agree with Daniel, sir. There’s something you’re not telling us.”
“Well, I was wearing high heel boots, a black skirt, and red top if that helps.”
“That’s not the kind of details we were talking about, Buffy.”
“You guys aren’t going to stop bugging us until we tell all the details you, are you?”
“Nope, so spill it, sir.”
((((((0))))))
It was past midnight and the usually bustling streets of Los Angeles were nearly empty, except for a few exceptions. A blonde girl was walking casually through the night, whistling an undistinguishable tune. The teenager was wearing a revealing outfit that would have caught the attention of any man – no matter of what age – but it was her companion that caught the man’s eye. The figure was trailing behind the oblivious girl, looking around for any other passer-bys. The man quickly ducked behind a building, watching the two suspiciously through narrow eyes. His suspicions were proven correct as the figure – assuming they were alone – grabbed the girl.
((((((0))))))
“Jack! This is exactly the same story as before.”
“Forcryingoutloud, Danny, if you would stop interrupting me…”
((((((0))))))
The man looked up the girl to see if she was all right, and she looked at him in astonishment and asked, “[What the hell are you doing?]”
((((((0))))))
“Voiceovers are not necessary, Buffy.”
“I’m not going to be associated with your dialogue – I have a reputation to uphold.”
“Jack, why don’t you just let Buffy tell the story?”
“Teal’c, buddy, pal, back me up here.”
“I am afraid I concur with DanielJackson’s opinion on this matter.”
“Traitors! Philistines!”
“Jack, do you even know what that means?”
“Do too.”
“Do not.”
“Too.”
“Not.”
“Geez, Willow, thanks for the offer but instead of travelling the globe with my friends I’d rather stay inside a badly decorated mountain with two of the three stooges.”
“Fine! Betray your Commanding Officer! I know who’s getting latrine duty on our next mission…”
((((((0))))))
Buffy calmly walked through the dark alleys, keeping her eyes open for any suspicious characters. It hadn’t taken long for a figure to begin tailing her. Outwardly, she gave no indication she had spotted the tail but constantly kept her senses trained on the figure.
Out of the corner of her eye, she also spotted another figure trying to remain inconspicuous – and doing a poor job of it.
((((((0))))))
“Hey! I didn’t insult you when I was telling the story.”
“Shut up, Jack.”
((((((0))))))
Sensing that her tail was about to make his move, she temporarily forgot about the other figure and prepared herself for an attack. Thus, it was a shock when the ‘forgotten’ figure launched itself from its hiding place.
Buffy stared in shock as the man tackled the stalker and wrestled him to the ground and placed a body hold on him. The man turned to Buffy and asked if she was fine.
Torn between amusement and annoyance, Buffy smiled and nodded before saying, “I’m good, but that wasn’t the smartest thing to do.”
The man looked confused and was about to ask why when the figure broke from grasp. Immediately, the man drew his gun. To his astonishment the figure just laughed and even mocked the gun-toting maniac.
(((((((0)))))))
“Buffy!”
“Oops.”
(((((((0)))))))
As the stalker moved forward, the man blasted his kneecaps – hoping to stop the stalker without having to kill him. The stalker fell to the ground again, clutching his knee.
Buffy watched the exchange, and winced sympathetically as her ‘rescuer’ shot. She was about to get the man to walk her home for ‘her own safety’ when she saw the stalker get to his feet once more.
The man had turned back to Buffy to see if she was all right when he noticed her looked over his shoulder with a look of surprise, and horror. He turned back to see the man he had shot…growing spikes, claws, and other very dangerous looking limbs.
“What the hell is that?” he gasped, to which the Buffy calmly replied.
“That is a demon.”
((((((0))))))
“A demon.”
“Yup.”
“You want us to believe that you met a real live demon.”
“Why not? We fight power-mad wannabe god aliens, forcryinoutloud.”
((((((0))))))
“I think now would be a good time to run,” Buffy said slowly, backing up as the demon continued to grow larger. The two turned and run and the man was surprised that the girl was keeping up with him easily.
Suddenly, the girl stopped and threw what looked to be a piece of wood at the demon. The stake imbedded itself where the heart would be on a human. The demon looked at the protruding stick in amusement and ripped it out.
The two started running again and quickly dove into an alleyway. Quietly, they zigzagged through the streets and settled into an empty building and settled down to wait – hopefully hidden and safe. Now relatively safe, the man turned to Buffy.
“What the hell did you throw a stick at it for?”
((((((0))))))
“That’s a good question.”
“It works on vampires…I thought I would give it a shot.”
“Of course, how silly of me to not realize that.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Danny.”
“Why did you even have a stake to begin with?”
“I would explain that if I hadn’t been interrupted, Sam.”
“See!”
“Keep quiet, Colonel.”
((((((0))))))
“What the hell did you throw a stick at it for?”
“It works on vampires!” Buffy hissed back, keeping an ear out for any sign of the demon. The man looked incredulously at her.
“Did that look like a vampire to you? What the hell am I saying, vampires aren’t even real.”
“Right, and I’m sure the demon out there is just a figment of your imagination,” she responded sarcastically.
“And what the hell were you doing with a stake in the first place? Who the hell are you?” the man demanded.
“I’m Buffy Summers, a freshman at Hemery High School and a cheerleader. Well, I was before I got expelled,” she admitted sheepishly.
“For what? Applying makeup in class?” he asked sarcastically.
“If you must know, I …”
Buffy was interrupted by the sound of the door crashing open. The demon entered and grinned maniacally as he caught his prey’s scent. Fully expected the prey to run, the demon was surprised when the female calmly stepped into the open. Narrowing its eyes, the demon proceeded cautiously as it began to sense something amiss with the female.
When it has first started stalking the human, she had seemed helpless. But now his senses were warning him of danger. Buffy saw that the demon was no longer acting rashly and decided to set aside her pretence.
“Hello, big, dumb, ugly and soon-to-be slayed,” Buffy said mockingly, as she stepped out from her hiding place.
“Slayer,” the demon hissed in comprehension.
((((((0))))))
“Slayer?”
“Slayer of demons, otherwise known as the Chosen One, She-who-frequents-graveyards, and destroyer of high schools.”
“You expect us to believe that while going to high school you moonlighted as a demon hunter by using small wooden stakes?”
“Well, why not?”
“It’s just that you’re so…so…”
“Small? Blonde? Girly?”
“Yeah, Carter, if I remember the first time we met you said just because your reproductions organs were…”
“Sir!”
“…on the inside instead of the outside didn’t mean you couldn’t hack it. Seems a little hypocritical of you, Carter.”
“Ew, Carter, ew.”
“How about we get back to the tale, shall we?”
((((((0))))))
Buffy just grinned and drew back her first. Jack winced as her heard the crack as the right hook smashed into the demon’s jaw. Unfortunately, the demon didn’t appear to be as hurt by the punch as it sounded and quickly retaliated. The two quickly began a series of quick punches and kicks. Jack raised his gun and waited until he could get a clean shot. Seeing an opening, Jack fired off several quick shots. But, unfortunately…
Shocked, the three combatants stilled.
“You shot me!”
((((((0))))))
“You shot Buffy?”
“It just grazed her.”
((((((0))))))
“You shot me!”
((((((0))))))
“We get the point, Buffy.”
“I still can’t believe you shot me.”
“How many times do I have to apologize for that?”
“Until you let me shoot you.”
“I’m not letting you shoot me.”
“You do realize that as a member of SG-1 I will be given a gun.”
“…”
((((((0))))))
“I can’t believe you shot me!” Buffy said, looking at her bleeding arm.
“Oh, come one, it’s just a flesh wound. Big and ugly here did more damage with his claws,” Jack protested.
“But he isn’t supposed to be on my side. And why the hell were you shooting at him in the first place?”
“Because guns hurt people?” Jack replied slowly in a condescending manner. The demon stepped back slightly from the arguing pair with a slightly bewildered look on his face.
“As you might have noticed, THAT THING’S NOT PEOPLE!” Buffy screeched, pointing at the disgruntled demon.
“Really? Geez, what do you know? I totally missed the big-ass horns and claws,” he replied sarcastically.
“And it’s not like it worked that well the last time you shot it.”
“What about you, Miss Let’s-throw-a-stick-at-it?”
“At least I’m not a gun-toting maniac.”
The demon continued to look back and forth at the arguing duo, annoyed that they appeared to have forgotten its presence. It stepped forward and drew itself up to its full height, saying in a deep voice, “Humans, prepare to…”
“Do you mind!” the pair yelled at the demon before continuing to insult each other. Astonished, the demon simply threw up his hands. Muttering under its breath about being under appreciated the demon morphed back into its human shape and left the two crazy humans behind.
It would be ten minutes before either of the humans noticed their adversary’s absence.
((((((0))))))
“So Jack walked me home, we’ve kept in touch ever since.”
The members of SG-1 stared at their comrades in disbelief. The two sat calmly under the scrutiny, faces carefully blank.
“So how did you two really meet?” Daniel finally asked.
“Space-monkey, don’t you trust us?” Jack asked, mock hurt plastered over his face. Beside him, Buffy mouth was set in an adorable pout.
Sam and Daniel just shook their heads and rose from their seats, Teal’c shadowing their actions.
“We’ll get the story out of you two someday,” Sam warned, shaking a finger at the grinning duo. Beside her Daniel was still shaking his dead, muttering under his breath about idiotic colonels, crazy girls and mental demons.
The two were finally alone in the room, silent and unmoving. Calmly, Buffy raised her hand and held out an open palm towards Jack. Scowling, Jack reached into his pocket and slapped a twenty down into her grasp.
“Told yeah they wouldn’t believe it.”
“Daniel believed aliens built the pyramids, but he can’t believe there might be demons,” Jack remarked grumpily. “Well, I know whose job it is the dig the latrine on the next mission.”
The sat together, enjoying the comfortable silence (something their co-workers would never think them capable of). Jack frowned slightly as a thought occurred to him.
“Hey, Buff?”
“Yeah?”
“Whatever did happen to that demon?”
THE END
Title: When Jack Met BuffyA/N: Since so many people wanted to know how these two met, I decided to write another one. I’m still not sure about continuing on the series since I didn’t get as many reviews for the last instalment and I don’t want to get stale and redundant and ruin the series. As usual, I’ll leave it up to you guys.
((((((0))))))
It was past midnight and the usually bustling streets of Los Angeles were nearly empty, except for a few exceptions. A blonde girl was walking casually through the night, whistling an undistinguishable tune. The teenager was wearing a revealing outfit that would have caught the attention of any man – no matter of what age – but it was her companion that caught the man’s eye. The figure was trailing behind the oblivious girl, looking around for any other passer-bys. The man quickly ducked behind a building, watching the two suspiciously through narrow eyes. His suspicions were proven correct as the figure – assuming they were alone – grabbed the girl. Springing to action, the man ran from his hiding place and tackled the figure as the girl looked on with admiration and gratitude.
Having the would-be attacker in a hold, the man turned to the girl to make sure she was okay.
“Thanks to you,” she said in appreciation, to which the man just smiled and said, “It’s what I do.”
((((((0))))))
“’It’s what I do’? Geez, Jack if you’re going to tell the story wrong at least make yourself look like less of a dork.”
“Hey, I’m just telling it the way I remember it.”
“Maybe if you’re remembering a bad B-Rated movie.”
“Anyways…”
((((((0))))))
“Thanks to you,” she said in appreciation, to which the man just smiled and said, “It’s what I do.”
Suddenly, the attacker broke the hold and turned to the girl and the man. He took a step forward when the man pulled out a gun and pointed it at the attacker.
“I suggest you leave – now.”
The attacker looked at the gun and [laughed].
((((((0))))))
“Hey! Who’s telling this story?”
“Oh, you are, but I’m not going to let you edit out the best part.”
“I don’t get it, the guy laughed when you pointed a gun at him?”
“Well, Carter, he was a…”
“PCP user.”
“Right! PCP…so the guy laughs at me…”
((((((0))))))
The man frowned as the other laughed and said seriously, “If you don’t
think I’m willing to shoot, think again.”
“Oh, I think you’ll shoot. I can smell the blood on your hands.”
((((((0))))))
“Wait a minute, ‘he could smell the blood on your hands’?”
“He was high, Danny, what do you expect? Now, can I continue on with the story without anymore interruptions?”
“Oh, yeah, go ahead.”
“Thanks.”
((((((0))))))
The girl touched the man slightly on shoulder and said with fear in her voice, “It would be best if we just got out of here.”
The attacker made a move forward and the man shot him in the knee. With a howl the attacker fell to the ground and clutched the wounded knee. With a growl he made to stand up when he looked at the man in fear. Thinking better of the situation, he turned off and ran.
((((((0))))))
“Buffy, are you okay?”
“Sorry, just…swallowed some air.”
“Do you want to tell the story?”
“Yes!”
“Well, tough luck.”
((((((0))))))
The man turned to the girl and frowned as he took in her age and attire.
“Don’t you think it’s a little late for you to be out on a school night?”
“[Don’t you think you’re a little old to be playing the knight in rusting armour?]”
((((((0))))))
“Buffy!”
“Sorry.”
((((((0))))))
“How about I walk you home?”
The man walked the young girl to her house without any sign of the attacker. The paused, turned, and gave the man a warm smile.
“Thanks. My name’s Buffy, by the way.”
“Jack. Jack O’Neill.”
((((((0))))))
“And that’s how you two met?”
“Pretty much, Danny Boy.”
“After all your cloak and dagger theatrics about how you two met – and that’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“How come I’m getting the feeling your lying…”
“Us? Lie? Where ever would you get such an idea?”
“Because you guys have been pretty close-lipped about how you met. I find it hard to believe that’s how you really met.”
“I agree with Daniel, sir. There’s something you’re not telling us.”
“Well, I was wearing high heel boots, a black skirt, and red top if that helps.”
“That’s not the kind of details we were talking about, Buffy.”
“You guys aren’t going to stop bugging us until we tell all the details you, are you?”
“Nope, so spill it, sir.”
((((((0))))))
It was past midnight and the usually bustling streets of Los Angeles were nearly empty, except for a few exceptions. A blonde girl was walking casually through the night, whistling an undistinguishable tune. The teenager was wearing a revealing outfit that would have caught the attention of any man – no matter of what age – but it was her companion that caught the man’s eye. The figure was trailing behind the oblivious girl, looking around for any other passer-bys. The man quickly ducked behind a building, watching the two suspiciously through narrow eyes. His suspicions were proven correct as the figure – assuming they were alone – grabbed the girl.
((((((0))))))
“Jack! This is exactly the same story as before.”
“Forcryingoutloud, Danny, if you would stop interrupting me…”
((((((0))))))
The man looked up the girl to see if she was all right, and she looked at him in astonishment and asked, “[What the hell are you doing?]”
((((((0))))))
“Voiceovers are not necessary, Buffy.”
“I’m not going to be associated with your dialogue – I have a reputation to uphold.”
“Jack, why don’t you just let Buffy tell the story?”
“Teal’c, buddy, pal, back me up here.”
“I am afraid I concur with DanielJackson’s opinion on this matter.”
“Traitors! Philistines!”
“Jack, do you even know what that means?”
“Do too.”
“Do not.”
“Too.”
“Not.”
“Geez, Willow, thanks for the offer but instead of travelling the globe with my friends I’d rather stay inside a badly decorated mountain with two of the three stooges.”
“Fine! Betray your Commanding Officer! I know who’s getting latrine duty on our next mission…”
((((((0))))))
Buffy calmly walked through the dark alleys, keeping her eyes open for any suspicious characters. It hadn’t taken long for a figure to begin tailing her. Outwardly, she gave no indication she had spotted the tail but constantly kept her senses trained on the figure.
Out of the corner of her eye, she also spotted another figure trying to remain inconspicuous – and doing a poor job of it.
((((((0))))))
“Hey! I didn’t insult you when I was telling the story.”
“Shut up, Jack.”
((((((0))))))
Sensing that her tail was about to make his move, she temporarily forgot about the other figure and prepared herself for an attack. Thus, it was a shock when the ‘forgotten’ figure launched itself from its hiding place.
Buffy stared in shock as the man tackled the stalker and wrestled him to the ground and placed a body hold on him. The man turned to Buffy and asked if she was fine.
Torn between amusement and annoyance, Buffy smiled and nodded before saying, “I’m good, but that wasn’t the smartest thing to do.”
The man looked confused and was about to ask why when the figure broke from grasp. Immediately, the man drew his gun. To his astonishment the figure just laughed and even mocked the gun-toting maniac.
(((((((0)))))))
“Buffy!”
“Oops.”
(((((((0)))))))
As the stalker moved forward, the man blasted his kneecaps – hoping to stop the stalker without having to kill him. The stalker fell to the ground again, clutching his knee.
Buffy watched the exchange, and winced sympathetically as her ‘rescuer’ shot. She was about to get the man to walk her home for ‘her own safety’ when she saw the stalker get to his feet once more.
The man had turned back to Buffy to see if she was all right when he noticed her looked over his shoulder with a look of surprise, and horror. He turned back to see the man he had shot…growing spikes, claws, and other very dangerous looking limbs.
“What the hell is that?” he gasped, to which the Buffy calmly replied.
“That is a demon.”
((((((0))))))
“A demon.”
“Yup.”
“You want us to believe that you met a real live demon.”
“Why not? We fight power-mad wannabe god aliens, forcryinoutloud.”
((((((0))))))
“I think now would be a good time to run,” Buffy said slowly, backing up as the demon continued to grow larger. The two turned and run and the man was surprised that the girl was keeping up with him easily.
Suddenly, the girl stopped and threw what looked to be a piece of wood at the demon. The stake imbedded itself where the heart would be on a human. The demon looked at the protruding stick in amusement and ripped it out.
The two started running again and quickly dove into an alleyway. Quietly, they zigzagged through the streets and settled into an empty building and settled down to wait – hopefully hidden and safe. Now relatively safe, the man turned to Buffy.
“What the hell did you throw a stick at it for?”
((((((0))))))
“That’s a good question.”
“It works on vampires…I thought I would give it a shot.”
“Of course, how silly of me to not realize that.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Danny.”
“Why did you even have a stake to begin with?”
“I would explain that if I hadn’t been interrupted, Sam.”
“See!”
“Keep quiet, Colonel.”
((((((0))))))
“What the hell did you throw a stick at it for?”
“It works on vampires!” Buffy hissed back, keeping an ear out for any sign of the demon. The man looked incredulously at her.
“Did that look like a vampire to you? What the hell am I saying, vampires aren’t even real.”
“Right, and I’m sure the demon out there is just a figment of your imagination,” she responded sarcastically.
“And what the hell were you doing with a stake in the first place? Who the hell are you?” the man demanded.
“I’m Buffy Summers, a freshman at Hemery High School and a cheerleader. Well, I was before I got expelled,” she admitted sheepishly.
“For what? Applying makeup in class?” he asked sarcastically.
“If you must know, I …”
Buffy was interrupted by the sound of the door crashing open. The demon entered and grinned maniacally as he caught his prey’s scent. Fully expected the prey to run, the demon was surprised when the female calmly stepped into the open. Narrowing its eyes, the demon proceeded cautiously as it began to sense something amiss with the female.
When it has first started stalking the human, she had seemed helpless. But now his senses were warning him of danger. Buffy saw that the demon was no longer acting rashly and decided to set aside her pretence.
“Hello, big, dumb, ugly and soon-to-be slayed,” Buffy said mockingly, as she stepped out from her hiding place.
“Slayer,” the demon hissed in comprehension.
((((((0))))))
“Slayer?”
“Slayer of demons, otherwise known as the Chosen One, She-who-frequents-graveyards, and destroyer of high schools.”
“You expect us to believe that while going to high school you moonlighted as a demon hunter by using small wooden stakes?”
“Well, why not?”
“It’s just that you’re so…so…”
“Small? Blonde? Girly?”
“Yeah, Carter, if I remember the first time we met you said just because your reproductions organs were…”
“Sir!”
“…on the inside instead of the outside didn’t mean you couldn’t hack it. Seems a little hypocritical of you, Carter.”
“Ew, Carter, ew.”
“How about we get back to the tale, shall we?”
((((((0))))))
Buffy just grinned and drew back her first. Jack winced as her heard the crack as the right hook smashed into the demon’s jaw. Unfortunately, the demon didn’t appear to be as hurt by the punch as it sounded and quickly retaliated. The two quickly began a series of quick punches and kicks. Jack raised his gun and waited until he could get a clean shot. Seeing an opening, Jack fired off several quick shots. But, unfortunately…
Shocked, the three combatants stilled.
“You shot me!”
((((((0))))))
“You shot Buffy?”
“It just grazed her.”
((((((0))))))
“You shot me!”
((((((0))))))
“We get the point, Buffy.”
“I still can’t believe you shot me.”
“How many times do I have to apologize for that?”
“Until you let me shoot you.”
“I’m not letting you shoot me.”
“You do realize that as a member of SG-1 I will be given a gun.”
“…”
((((((0))))))
“I can’t believe you shot me!” Buffy said, looking at her bleeding arm.
“Oh, come one, it’s just a flesh wound. Big and ugly here did more damage with his claws,” Jack protested.
“But he isn’t supposed to be on my side. And why the hell were you shooting at him in the first place?”
“Because guns hurt people?” Jack replied slowly in a condescending manner. The demon stepped back slightly from the arguing pair with a slightly bewildered look on his face.
“As you might have noticed, THAT THING’S NOT PEOPLE!” Buffy screeched, pointing at the disgruntled demon.
“Really? Geez, what do you know? I totally missed the big-ass horns and claws,” he replied sarcastically.
“And it’s not like it worked that well the last time you shot it.”
“What about you, Miss Let’s-throw-a-stick-at-it?”
“At least I’m not a gun-toting maniac.”
The demon continued to look back and forth at the arguing duo, annoyed that they appeared to have forgotten its presence. It stepped forward and drew itself up to its full height, saying in a deep voice, “Humans, prepare to…”
“Do you mind!” the pair yelled at the demon before continuing to insult each other. Astonished, the demon simply threw up his hands. Muttering under its breath about being under appreciated the demon morphed back into its human shape and left the two crazy humans behind.
It would be ten minutes before either of the humans noticed their adversary’s absence.
((((((0))))))
“So Jack walked me home, we’ve kept in touch ever since.”
The members of SG-1 stared at their comrades in disbelief. The two sat calmly under the scrutiny, faces carefully blank.
“So how did you two really meet?” Daniel finally asked.
“Space-monkey, don’t you trust us?” Jack asked, mock hurt plastered over his face. Beside him, Buffy mouth was set in an adorable pout.
Sam and Daniel just shook their heads and rose from their seats, Teal’c shadowing their actions.
“We’ll get the story out of you two someday,” Sam warned, shaking a finger at the grinning duo. Beside her Daniel was still shaking his dead, muttering under his breath about idiotic colonels, crazy girls and mental demons.
The two were finally alone in the room, silent and unmoving. Calmly, Buffy raised her hand and held out an open palm towards Jack. Scowling, Jack reached into his pocket and slapped a twenty down into her grasp.
“Told yeah they wouldn’t believe it.”
“Daniel believed aliens built the pyramids, but he can’t believe there might be demons,” Jack remarked grumpily. “Well, I know whose job it is the dig the latrine on the next mission.”
The sat together, enjoying the comfortable silence (something their co-workers would never think them capable of). Jack frowned slightly as a thought occurred to him.
“Hey, Buff?”
“Yeah?”
“Whatever did happen to that demon?”
THE END