dont be afraid to be afraid
something ive always wanted to do.......
i have always thought it would be cool to spend the day with a midget, we would have fun.....unless he made me mad.....then i would probably have to shove him in a shoe box or something.....since he's so small
homeless people are funny, always willing to do anything for a dollar. so remember, next time a homeless guy asks for money.....make him earn it by dancing around and singing "Im a pretty sailor boy".
some random convos with my pal jason
me: so, hows life
jason: It's pretty
jason: lol
jason: Yours?
me: i cant complain
jason: kool
me: no really, i cant...im taking this medication that stops it
jason: O_o
jason: Guess what I bought at the mall?
me: salmon patty slippers?
jason: Close.
jason: A katana.
me: cool
jason: Yessss
me: hmmm, i wish i had salmon patty slippers now
jason: Yeah... I'd trade my sword for some...
i was sitting around and a friend sent an instant message to me asking how i would kill myself. so, i thought for a while.....and here is what i came up with.
i would set up an elaborate system (kinda like mouse trap)....i will pull a string and it will trigger a book to fall on a plate, the plate shatters and the sound scares a midget, the midget jumps and frightens a mime, the mime gets scared and tries to scream, but cant...so he throws a fan, the fan hits my head.....and
KASPLAT!
sometimes i find myself to daydream when i drive......i find this funny,
considering i have no car......or a lisence
if someone ever catches you trying to steal something, just tell them that you dont exist.....so its not really stealing, then walk away slowly and disappear in the fog.
i think it would really suck if you were a gay, black, Jewish, Canadian midget with syphilis.
wouldnt it be funny to see a midget run around in an indian costume in the middle of a religious ceremony....everyone would be serious about god, but then laugh at the midget...because he looked like an indian.
i often catch myself thinking about stuff at inappropriate times. like one time at a funeral, i couldnt stop thinking about the time i saw two houseflies humping.
a good way to make someone feel sorry for you is to say that you are gonna die from a terrible disease, then after 20 minutes of grieving....tell them you were joking. they will be so happy, but at the same time...hate you so much.
a wise man can look at a grain of sand and see a universe, i can look at a grain of sand and think of how it must suck to be that grain of sand....always getting stepped on, that must really suck.
it would be funny if a man walked in a grocery store and put watermelons on his feet and cantaloupe on his hands and ran down the aisles screaming......YOU MUST FEAR ME, FOR I AM MELLON MAN!!!!
i wonder if ants have tiny magnifying glasses so they can burn tiny humans. kinda like humans do to ants.
if you are ever near a homeless man and he asks you for some change, you can say.....how about a shower...STINKY!!!! then run off like a coward
i saw a man with a claw for a hand once, i thought it would be cool....i would go up to people and go ROAR! LOOK AT ME, I HAVE A CLAW FOR A HAND, then be sad because people would fear me, and wish i had a normal hand.
STEPH PIERCE IS THE SHIZNIT.....AND ALWAYS WILL BE. and if you dont think so.....you must be gay.
you should go here
korn message board i visit
good forum for hackers
hey, im bored
need i say more?
