Well, this is Lonliest Heart. Somehow, either by me or by your bumbling around, you have found my site. Odds are you'll become incredibly bored here if you aren't already. If you are bored, I'm so very, very sorry if my site doesn't help!! >.< One thing I should let you know before you continue, I'm a manic depressive so odds are, the things on here aren't too happy most of the time... o.O Anyway, try to have fun, and if you have any questions, complaints, or poetry you wish to add to my soon to be large poems and song section, just e-mail me at LusciousCabbage@yahoo.com. Enjoy!!! ^_^
`Updates~
8/12/03
Okay, I've started on the Rooney page. It's not much right now, but it should be huge soon. A message board, BIOS, pictures, the works! Because I just love this band that much. You can look at it now if you want, but I have a feeling you won't be impressed by it.. YET... I'm doin' this all for you Rooney!! It's ALL FOR YOU BABY!!! Mwehehehehehehe!! ^_^ Have a Rooney-rific day!
~Updates~
8/7/03
Yeah Yeah, I know. I don't update nearly as much as I should. Well, I'm busy, okay? Happy? I added a random quote generator. I'm also looking into putting up another part of Paths Entertwined. I've been putting a lot of stories up on Fanfiction.net under the name of ThePhantomsChristineDaae. You should go check them out. I'm currently writing the second part of an X-Men Fan-Fic, the first part of which still isn't up though. Sooner or later I'll get around to putting up a Rooney page (a new band I love) and adding more to the Dir en Grey stuff. Well, I think that's about it for now. Sorry my life is too pathetic for me to have anything else to tell you. Have a nice life.
~Updates~
5/26/03
I know I don't really update here much anymore. I just sort of figured that there was no point if I was updating in my online diary. I will say one thing though. Nora, if you ever even come here anymore, I miss you very, very, very much. And you too Oncu, and Amazon. I miss you all so much. Now that that is over... I've added a bunch of new religious jokes on my site. It seems to have become the most enjoyed part of my site. I'm still working on how the hell to get a guest book, it never seems to work for me. If you have any hints, helpful comments, suggestions, PLEASE e-mail them to me at LusciousCabbage@yahoo.com it really would mean a lot to me. Well, that's all from me for today... Have an act like a two year old play with a puppy day!
~Updates~
5/8/03
Oh look, it's only been two days since my last update! Weeeeeeeee! I've made a decision. Two actually. One is that I'm going to try and keep websit updates specifically to things about the website. I just think it'll be really redundent and repetitive if I post something here and then on my online diary. So if you want to know what's going on in my life, go to www.my-diary.org and search for the Prison Of My Mind. Other wise, you won't know much about what's going on. The other decision and the last thing about my life that I will post here is that I have decided to go back to the way I used to be before 8th grade. I used to hide my feelings, not letting anyone close to my heart. I was less hurt back then, so I am going back to that. Know one will know if I like them, no one will know if I hurt. They'll know if I'm angry, frustrated, happy, bored, or tired. That's all. And I won't tell them anything that may be used against me. Those are my decisions. I've been adding a lot of inspirational sayings and religious jokes lately. Hope you enjoy them. ^_^ Have a hoping to see X-Men 2 again this weekend day!
~Updates~
5/6/03
Hmm... Not much really going on with my life. The musical is over, and not once did Nora show up... I'm trying not to dwell on that too much, even though it greatly hurts me. I'm going to see the new X-Men movie for the 5th time today. I'm going with GMN, possibly Rogue, and possibly my gay friend Pat. He doesn't really have a nick name.... So Pat it shall be. I've added some new inspirational sayings and what not in the poetry section. Enjoy and have a BAMFin' day!
~Updates~
4/29/03
Again I appologize for not keeping up with my updates. I've just been kind of... bleh... But I felt like I needed to update today, it being GMN's birthday and all. ^_^ Happy birthday man. Hope you like the present I gave ya and all. I miss Nora badly though. Especially since this is my first musical, performing type thing and I really wanted her to be there for one of the shows. Three of them have passed so far. The next ones are this thursday, friday, and saturday at 7:30 in the Mel Lawson Art theater at Sac high. Tickets are only 2 dollars. That's for anyone who might consider coming. Nora, if you do read this, it would really mean a lot to me if you could come. If you can't, the least you can do is send me an e-mail saying that you can't. I can't type really well right now... too much happening to me. I feel sick. I think all the crap that's going on is weighing down on me and making me emotionally and physically sick... I need rest. I need to take a week off just for myself or something... I need help or just some one to love me. That's all I want. I want the people I love to love me. Nora, Raven, BC... I just don't understand... Is that too much for me to ask? Is that why they have all been taken from me? Am I not allowed to be happy? I'm ranting... I need to save it for my online diary... I added more religious jokes and soon I'll have a link to a Java chat created by a friend of mine and Raven's. Mostly Raven's friend though... Anyway, have a Been Testin', Mom Randomly Showed Up At School, X-Men 2 Comes Out In Three Days, Feel Sick Day.
~Updates~
4/11/03
Sorry I haven't updated in quite some time... There has just been a lot of things on my mind and for me to do. For instance, opening night for Guys and Dolls is April 24th so I've had to be rehersing like mad for it. There's also been some things happening with me and Rave, some good, some bad. I won't go into it on here, but if you want to find out, go to www.my-diary.org and search for The Prison of My Mind. I discuss everything there. Even things I won't say here and I use peoples' real names. I even have entries there that I don't have here. I've only been working on it a little while though. Now for website updates. I've added a Religious and other jokes section and I'll probably be adding more jokes to it today. So, have fun and have a broken hearted, should have stayed in bed day.
~Updates~
3/28/03
Well, Junior prom was last saturday on the 22. I really haven't had much time to update since then. It was great. Friday night I spent the night at Raven's house so his mom could get me ready for prom early (though it didn't really work... lol). Then Me, Rave, Lioness, S.O.S., Bink, and Puppy (wow, odd nick names... lol) went to Black Angus for dinner. It was so good! I had this orgasmiclly good drink called a Strawberry Delight and Bink and I ordered the Prime Rib and Lobster tail and I ate the lobster and she ate the steak and we shared french fries and a salad. I kept trying to sudduce Raven with teh whip cream from my drink lol. ^_^ Then we all went to prom, and that was pretty damn boring so I won't talk about it. Oh yeah, S.O.S was in a wheel chair because he had his appendix out. After prom we went bowling and play laser tag an I played Pump It Up and DDR in my prom dress. ^_^ It was really great. We left around 5 in the morning so I just went back and spent the night at Raven's house again. It was an awesome night. I don't think I'll ever forget it. I'll talk more about the rest of the week tomorrow if I remember... For now, I added some more inspirational stuff and I may add the Religious Jokes section today as well. Have a drank yourself silly las night hung over day!. @_@
~Updates~
3/20/03
Yeah yeah... I know I said I'd post yesterday... But I am now so don't complain. I just feel so off today... One, I didn't go over to Raven's house like I'm used to, and my comp died and wouldn't sign back on so I didn't get to say goodnight to him. The other thing is this whole war with Iraq. I used to make jokes about it, and used to say that I was glad we were going to war because it gave me something interesting to follow, but now that it's happening, I'm scared. My favorite cousin is stationed with the army there. I'm just so afriad something's going to happen to him... I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose him. And what happens if we get bombed near where I live? What if some of my friends or people I know get killed? I'd be fine if I got killed... I mean, I really feel as if I have nothing to live for except maybe to bring children into this hell we call existance. On a happier note I suppose, Junior prom is only like, 2 days away not counting today. I'm happy, all excited and what not. Also, I'm adding some Inspirational sayings and the like into the Inspirational poems section. I'm also going to eventually put up some religious jokes up. I appologize in advance to anyone who reads them and is offended. Well, I suppose that's it... Have a peacefilled day....
~Updates~
3/18/03
Alright, just a brief update here. I'm adding a link at the bottom of this, the main page of my site, that will lead to the main page of Sac Highs Every 15 Minutes official web page, designed by me. It's pretty dull at the moment, but I'll do some work on it and hopefully it will be as entertaining as you all so fondly find my sight. ^_^ Anyways, I'll probably make a longer, more thought out and informative update today. If not, definatly tomorrow.
~Updates~
3/6/03
Well now, thanks to Raven, things are doing pretty damn well right now. All because I win. ^_^ For those of you who know what I'm talking about... *giggles insanely* For those of you who don't, sorry, not tellin'. ^_~ Junior Prom is coming up, and from what I know about it so far (people I'm going with and wot not) it should be a memorable occasion. Bleh.... I still miss Nora and Rodent Boy (or was I calling him Onchu?) and Amazon... Nora and Amazon don't even talk to me online anymore... Rodent Boy did though, the one time in forever that he was on... At I know he hasn't totally shut me out of his life. Yet anyways... I am trying SO hard to be happy, I mean, I have so many reasons to be happy. But it's hard with out Nora's friendship... I just hope one day she'll see how much she means to me and give me another chance. Hell, I don't even know if she comes here anymore...
~Updates~
2/26/03
Well, monday was Shinya's birthday, and if I am correct, he is now 25. I made red brownies for him and passed them out during a media production club. Yeah, it was fun... But it's so hard to have fun now a days, so hard to be happy. Nora's stopped talking to me all together, because I act too much like GMN when I hang out with her... What Nora doesn't seem to understand is that I had grown so attached to her through the long hours we spent together, I had developed a love for her. And she wants to to just stop it, just quite and be every now and then friends like we used to be. The thing is, once you love some one, it causes a great hole, a rift inside your very being when they decide they can't see you anymore. And that's how I feel. I feel like there's a giant hole inside me, eating me away and I feel like I'm losing everything... I don't even really have GMN anymore... She does things that hurt me and either she doesn't notice, or doesn't care. And with this happening alot, her and I can never fully be like we were in 8th and 9th grade. And Rogue, though she's really sweet and nice, she just doesn't understand when is and when isn't the right time to joke around with me or touch me. Once our relationship builds to a point where it was as strong as mine and Nora's, it comes crashing back down. I feel like I have no one, like I have not a thing to hold on too... I think that if it wasn't for Raven right now, the one that doesn't seem to judge me the slightest bit, that doesn't seem to misunderstand me, I probably would be gone... Taken from all of you because of the silly games that you have all played with my emotions, with my heart and soul.
I have a smile
Stretched from ear to ear
To see you walking down the road
We meet at the light
I stare for a while
The world around us disappears
It's just you and me
On my island of hope
A breath between us could be miles
Let me surround you
A sea to your shore
Let me be the calm you seek
Oh and every time I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away
And I forgot
To tell you
I love you
And the night's
Too long
And cold here
Without you
I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the strength to say I need you so
Oh and every time I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away
And I forgot
To tell you
I love you
And the night's
Too long
And cold here
Without you....
~Updates~
2/18/03
Okay, what to start with? Well, for one, I am for sure in Guys and Dolls as part of the chorus at the moment. But I still have a chance to be in the Mission Band, meaning more on stage time. Either way I'm in it and it makes me happy. ^_^ Now, I also added the story, "The Dream Within." I hope that you like it, and I also hope that it helps me to reach the end of this dream. It's one I really want to finish.... And also, Nora, if you read this, I miss you...
~Updates~
2/16/03
Well, Valentines day came and went... It wasn't as bad as I feared, but it still brought back bad memories... On a good note though, I was given a Phantom of the Opera music box as a gift. It surprised me very much because these things cost over 40 dollars! I don't know what to do because, I don't want to stay with this person much longer, I mean, I wasn't planning on it, but now I feel it my obligation to stay with him long enough to feel I've paid off for the music box. On a different note, Rogue came over and I showed her a few things that I learned on my guitar. We also watched a movie that I haven't watched in a long time, Rigoletto. I love it O' so much. ^_^ Hmmmmm...... I think that's it. I'll let you all know about the Spring Musical come tuesday.
~Updates~
2/12/03
Well, auditions and such started for the spring musical yesterday. I went, had fun, was made to dance when I didn't wanna... o.O It's a stupid musical, but putting it on is going to be fun. ^_^ I'm only hoping for a minor part, anything would be alright with me though. I'm also spending more time on my Guitar. Raven's showing me a lot. I'm dropping out of the Health Acadamy at my school. I don't want to be in anatomy but it's a required class in Health Acadamy... I can't stand the class anymore... But that's okay, cause I know exactly what classes I'm getting into after wards. Anywhozel, there may or may not be another update for today, depending on what goes on. For now, here's a little song I have stuck in my head.
What ravages of spirit
Conjured this temptuous rage
Created you a monster
Broken by the rules of love
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do ...
And I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go
Every moment marked
With apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
Trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
But I have the sense to recognize
That I don't know how
To let you go
I don't know how
To let you go
A glowing ember
Burning hot
Burning slow
Deep within I'm shaken
By the violence
Of existing for only you
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
And I have the sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go....
I don't know how to let you go....
I don't know how to let you go....
~Updates~
2/11/03
Well, this weekend was pretty eventfull. Saturday I spent the night over at GMN's house and we spent most of the night working out in the garage on her fathers weight bench. It was pretty fun. ^_^ Then we created a new RPG called X-Men Untitled. I'll post a link to it in RPG's sooner or later if you want to check it out. Then monday, I went to Raven's house and he taught me some things on my guitar. And I just happened to go over there on his sister's birthday so I got good food and cake. ^_^ Though I decided not to eat any cake.. o.O I also got to help set up a fish tank for his little sister. I can now play (almost) Adam's Song by Blink 182, and Green Sleeves. It was fun. We had a silly string fight. ^_^ Hmm... I think that's about it for now. Oh, I'm almost done with the story of my dream. That should be up to. I need to talk to Nora 'cause something happened and I no longer have Path's Entertwined on my computer... Sorry it's taking so long to get the rest of that up.. ^_^;
~Updates~
2/6/03
Things are falling again... I can't get a foot hold, no saving grip to keep me from the void of my lonliness. I can't help it, can't control it or hide it any more. To much weighing on my heart and soul, to much pain swelling in me. It can't be kept with in, will soon seep out to contaminate my friends and family. I can concentrait, can't keep my mind on the tasks at hand, can't keep from falling deeper. Again I am lost, the likeliness of being found dim. I'm sorry... Every one, I'm so sorry....
~Updates~
2/5/03
Yesterday was the big filming day for the rave scene for the every 15 minutes project. My head hurts so much from it.... I had to drink so much, eat so much sugar, and then dance. All the way from 8 am to a little after 3 pm. But it was well worth it. The footage is great, it all looks so wonderful on film. We haven't edited it yet, but it still looks awesome. Last night, I had a dream that I've been having quite frequently. It's one that I've never finished, but constantly have. Because of this, I've decided to write a little story about it to post on my site. All in the hopes of being able to finish the dream. So you can look forward to that, but first I am determined to get another instalment or two of Paths Entertwined so you all can read it. Oh, and tomorrow is my brother's 19th birthday. We'll just call him Roach since a few of his friends do. ^_^
~About Lonely~
Okay... I've decided since I have nothing better to do to let you know about me once again. My name is Mina, but for the purpose of this website I will always refer to myself as Loneliest Heart or Lonely. I'm 5'7" at the time being, and I weigh roughly around 138 lbs. My hair is naturally a brownish blonde, but I dye it red and it is at the moment cut short and spiked with bangs and two long blue strips framing my face. My eyes are blue, but occasionally can be a deep gray and were even an odd purple once. I'm a manic depressive, have little to no self esteem, and have ADHD... o.O Lets see.... I live in Sacramento California, I'm Pagan and... that's all you get to know!!! ^_^
Thing's on my site
Rooney
Poetry
Pictures!!! :P
Dir en Grey
Stomp On Steven!!! ^_^
Fan-Fics and other stories
Religious and other jokes and funny things
SHS Every 15 Minutes Official Web Page
Links
Updates Archive..... Fun....
