Part 10 ~ Epilogue
I miss you. I miss you so much. You were my light , my life. After everything that happened, after all that I did, all that I was, you saw me. You held me, you made everything that was wrong right again. I loved you. I still love you.
Do you love me? Where you are? Do you see me? Do you cry when I cry, waiting for the touch that never comes anymore? Do you? Can you feel my love like a beacon, the way I felt you?
I miss you. I want you here, beside me, laughing and sharing ridiculous things. Like the fight over the remote, when I was watching the Practice and you wanted to watch Star Trek. Like the arguments we got into over whether Seven was hotter than Janeway.
I still remember the look on your face the night we first made love. You gave me the most precious gift I could ever hope to receive. And I love you more now, even more than when you told your friends about us.
Where are you? Are you happy? Do you reminisce about every little detail? Do you remember me at all?
I’m scared. I’m lonely. I have nothing left, not without you. Forgive me, love, light, for not being able to keep going. I think I see you in the street, or in a store, but it’s not you. I know it’s not you. But I run over anyway. And then it’s not you, and I can’t face this anymore.
I was cold; I never felt anything. You changed all that. I let you into my heart, a place I had thought closed forever. Now I’m cold again, but because I was scorched by your fire. How can I go on living without your flame?
Baby, I want to go on, but it’s too hard. I’ve tried. I’ve tried so hard, but there’s nothing left anymore. Love. Never fall in love. That was my mantra, but you turned me upside down. So jaded, so world-weary, and you changed that. Made me see things from your perspective. And I’ve kept trying, but I can’t anymore.
It hurts too much, there’s nothing left for me. Not without you. I want to be beside you again. Loving you, touching you. Just holding you, the way we did for hours on the beach.
I love you, but I can’t go on. And now we can be together again.
“Lindsey? Oh, gods! He did it, he really did it. Why?”
“He couldn’t take it anymore, Willow. They were too in love. Lindsey couldn’t live without Xander.”
“But, he had us…”
“And sometimes we aren’t enough.”
“Angel, why? Why here? Alone in a cemetery.”
“He wasn’t alone, Willow. He was with Xander.”
Alexander LaVelle Harris
~ 1981 – 2004 ~
Beloved Friend, Eternal Lover, White Knight
Your Light Will Never Dim
Time Took You Too Soon
You Will Never Be Forgotten
Lindsey MacDonald Harris
~ 1976 – 2004 ~
Eternal Lover
Our Love Will Never Die
I Fight For You, For Truth, For Light
I Fight For Love
