Rest In Pieces
‘Look at me
My depth perception must be off again’
Lindsey wandered the streets of Sunnydale in misery.
‘Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did’
How could this have happened? Didn’t he make certain to not get attached?
‘It has not healed with time
It just shot down my spine’
The pain was almost too much to bear. Laughing chocolate eyes and husked words of endearment and passion filled his mind. He recalled the casual sweep of his lover’s hand brushed the sable hair out of his eyes.
‘You look so beautiful tonight’
Seeing him tonight had been a shock. Xander had been with one of his friends, smiling and laughing. It brought back memories of that horrible night.
‘Reminds me how you laid us down
And gently smiled
Before you destroyed my life’
They’d made love, almost like any other night. But this time, this time had been different. He could sense it, the sweet gentleness, so different from the fiery passion he was used to from his lover.
And then Xander had said the words that carved out a piece of his soul and shattered his heart.
“Linds, baby, you know I love you, right?”
“Of course,” he’d replied, a bit confused before capturing those tempting lips in a kiss.
“Linds,” said Xander, sadness creeping into his eyes as he pulled away from Lindsey. “I can’t be with you anymore.”
That was it. Just “I can’t be with you anymore,” and he was gone.
‘Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces’
Damn him, so many sleepless nights since then. So many unanswered questions.
‘Look at me
My depth perception must be off again’
When had he taken up residence in his heart? Was it the warm glances, the casual touches? Was it the first time he’d heard his name called in the throes of passion, when it was moaned into his ear?
‘You got much closer than I thought you did’
And why had he left? Why had he ripped out his heart, leaving a gaping wound that refused to close?
‘I’m in your reach
You held me in your hands’
Lindsey bit back a sob as Xander’s velvet gaze met his for several seconds before moving away.
‘Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces’
Nothing could help this hurt, he decided. How could Lindsey live, knowing he’d been rejected, thrown aside like some unwanted piece of garbage? And still, not knowing how Xander could say ‘I love you’ and then casually walk out of his life.
‘Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces’
Lindsey shivered as he stared at the cool blade, razor sharp and shining in the bleak light of his motel room. He moaned as the blade parted skin, letting him escape. Letting him be released from the pain.
‘Would you find in your heart
Would you let me rest in pieces’