We Give You Training For Your Birthday. WooWoo!
Hello all! I am going to attempt to make this quick....

I have to go to bed soon I am exhausted!

Some of you may know that tomorrow is my birthday. I am sure all of you know that I am broke..... I mention that at least once per week.... SO I did not have any plans for my birthday except for the possibility that I might get some training with AFLAC or I might do some marketing for leads. I hadn't heard anything about the training so I was not sure I would be able to get in. I had requested the 4 days off for the training which prompted my panic attack this weekend due to the lack of fundage that resulted in the nonexistent work hours..... The worst part about Saturday was that I had no idea if I was even in the class. I convinced myself that I wouldn't be and started envisioning tomorrow as a day of sleeping in until 8 AM and then doing some marketing and cold calling! The late start would have been luxurious considering my usual work time of 5. I couldn't wait until my shift at the call center was over this morning. All I had planned for the rest of the day was a meeting with my boss at the Action Insurance place to set up how to run the store while he was in Mexico for the week, a run to a used bookstore to cash in some books and maybe a little nap. I got out of work and headed to the bookstore when I saw a message on my phone; thinking it was probably Jason (my AFLAC trainer) I figured I would sell the books since I was there and then call him back and figure out when to meet with him this week. I sold the books for 19 bucks and felt very excited about it. I listened to the message and it wasn't Jason it was Jason's boss saying. "Hey Mike! It's 9 AM I was wondering if you were able to make it today. Give me a call." I instantly exclaimed "WHAT??!!!" and I gave him a quick call. Apparently I was supposed to be there at his office for a product overview and a few other things. I am still not sure how I was supposed to know this.... some people mentioned an email... but I have no email address as far as I know. I am still waiting for a company computer. So apparently the computer chip in my brain should have received an email.... unfortunately I was absent on the day they gave those chips out. Either way I was required to get there and I headed there post-haste! Luckily he was not upset because he knew I work the other job and I was able to say that I was ready to head to the training the next 4 days with no problems at all and that was what he really wanted me to say.... I didn't mention that my gas tank might go empty while I was training with no pay and not working at my crappy call center job... Figured that would be seen as a motivator as opposed to an obstacle so I tried to view the financial woes in that light without being told to think of it that way. Anyhow the best part was that this meeting included a free lunch! The boss man brought in some Hawaiian food from a local restaurant and it was awesome! I definitely need to know where that place is! I met with Jeff afterwords about the Action Insurance duties and this week I will be pulling a lot of hours between the two responsibilities.

So just what I always wanted a birthday where all I get to do is work! WOOHOO! I will type at ya later! I am headed to bed.

The Stores:

http://www.cafepress.com/cldholiday

http://www.cafepress.com/crazedlunatik

http://www.cafepress.com/rentmydad

http://www.cafepress.com/cldstewey

http://crazedlunatikdesigns.tripod.com/

Rain, Money Woes, The Cigar Smoking Gas Man, The Surprise and The Rubber Band Plane Memorial Ceremony
Mood:  sharp
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!

The day began with rain and dark clouds.... It was an ominous sign. I was at work looking at my schedule for next week and almost fainted from shock. I had all but forgotten that I had requested Tuesday - Friday off for the upcoming week and I had half believed they would not give it to me. I was wrong they did give it to me. So I am scheduled for only 15 hours next week... I started calculating my budget and came to the sickening conclusion that even with the usual 25 to 30 hours of work I was way off budget. I deduced that since I have not friviously bought anything except for the planes and the Frisbee at the dollar store it must be because of the lack of work hours earlier in the month. I started freaking out, my stomach was upset and I was not sure if I would keep my oatmeal down.... I kept taking calls and worrying about my monetary issues until I was released from my internment. I stepped outside into the surprising sunshine. I hardly noticed the weather change; I was too busy planning the sell of all my valuables. I saw boxes of books, cds, movies and comics all heading down to used bookstores, music stores, comic stores and pawn shops. I then imagined myself paying half of the money earned to the gas attendant, the gas attendant was smoking a cigar made of 100 dollar bills and laughing at me...

I arrived home to a note on my door from UPS saying I had a package at the manager's office.... I was not sure what it was. So I grabbed the sticker and walked over to the manager's office and was handed a Cafepress (these guys produce my store items) bag..... I took it home and ripped it open and found a CLD Ringer shirt and a Rent My Dad Messenger bag! It was a birthday present from Maryann (you may remember that she was reader of the week a little while back) and it made me smile. I immediately changed shirts and started stuffing things in the bag. I walked around modeling the stuff for George and Baz. They were very impressed! I was still majorly worried about rent and all the bills that were due next month and the fact that I only had a fraction of the money for but I felt a little more positive worrying about those things with my shirt on and my new bag by my side. I started grabbing books off the shelf like I had planned to do anyway when I remembered that Kevin was working so I figured I should email him and bother him while he was at work. I also used that time to finish up my last Father's Day design for my Holiday store. While I was doing all of that I made a half dozen calls to people?s answering machines until I finally reached my dad. After a few seconds of restraining myself from being all doom and gloom I launched into my financial nightmare tale of woe. He managed to calm me down considerably but I still plan on selling some books and cds for cash. I hope they will help me pay a bill or two.

So I was in a better mood. I finished my designs for the Father's Day merchandise and got the CLD Holiday Store up and running. I decided to take my bag out for a stroll and I headed to the park but before I left I grabbed my remaining half of the wing from the plane that was tragically lost on Thursday. As I entered the park I found the plane devouring tree from Hades and I did a little ritual to memorialize the loss of my ultra cool plane which consisted of me waving the wing fragment around in front of the tree and giving the tree the 'evil eye'. After I felt the point was made I headed into the park. I discovered that the park seems to be getting ready for renovation because all the movable benches were gone and the road through the park was closed... and the entrance had been repaved. Oh and the road closed for renovation sign helped me figure it out as well.... Nothing gets by me! I'm CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! Wherever something is completely obvious and in no need of being pointed out you can count on me, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! to point it out. This has been another episode of CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! Next Episode: With the heat soaring CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! comes by to tell you "It's HOT today!"

I found some more interesting things that sparked my interest in the park and I began visualizing this blog entry. Except with a completely different tale.... So not like this entry at all. CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! strikes again. I decided to head back home and on the way out I stopped to give the tree the 'evil eye' as I left when I saw my plane sitting below it. I ran to the plane and grabbed it and then hugged the tree... I guess what they say about Portland is true; it turns you into a tree hugger. Dang hippie!

The Stores:

http://www.cafepress.com/cldholiday

http://www.cafepress.com/crazedlunatik

http://www.cafepress.com/rentmydad

http://www.cafepress.com/cldstewey

http://crazedlunatikdesigns.tripod.com/

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My dollars worth or The tree that ate my plane
Mood:  energetic
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
Thursday..... my day off this week. In a surprise move I was given Monday and Thursday off this week. Which means I work both weekend days.... Which only slightly bothers me. I was able to spend some time both days learning a little more about AFLAC. I don't have anyone to hang out with this weekend anyway.

My friend at work (the call center work) has been MIA so I assume he quit. If he happens to be you... give me a call we should grab a beer.... The bad part about him quitting is now work is that much more painful to be at. I knew when he was working there I would have someone to shoot the breeze with at breaks. I have been deluged with stupid neighbors since he left. This one guy that sat next to me Wednesday was overly loud and full of advice. I felt like smacking him as he tried to help me. I didn't ask for help and it isn't my job to help troubleshoot phones for people so why was he chiming in? Shouldn't he be taking calls? I almost kicked him.... Oh well. At the moment this job is the only one paying bills so I have no choice but to go..... I can't wait until I have a choice.

Speaking of paying bills. Last week I got the idea that I should do some extra time at work. Of course the minute I decide that they stop offering overtime but I did manage 3 hours extra. Today when I checked my bank account I saw that I hadn't made anymore then normal.... That kind of totally deflated my sails... That extra 3 hours made for a long and painful day but absolutely no monetary gain. I was expecting to be able to tell on the paycheck.... maybe have ten dollars more then normal... but instead it was exactly the same as normal.... I will be studying the pay stub when it arrives.

I needed to pick up some things from the dollar store (I shop here because of my measly paychecks and because I like the place as well) like sandwich baggies and some lunch snacks like pretzels and the cracker and cheese packs. While I was there I wandered around the store and ended up picking up a 3 pack of airplanes you launch with a rubber band and a frisbee that looked like a propeller. When I got home I packed a little picnic, an airplane and my frisbee and headed to the park. Within 5 minutes I had ripped the airplane wing in half. I decided to see what would happen with just half the wing. It flew farther but the flight was a spiral. I learned one reason that the wings are so big on an airplane, the flight would be horrible and people would die because they blacked out during the flight and the plane crashed.... I was having a blast any way and the frisbee was pretty much forgotten when my airplane took a startling right turn into the top of a tree and disappeared. I couldn't shake it down and I couldn't even see where it went. It was like Amelia Earhart's lost flight.... never to be seen again... Charlie Brown has a kite eating tree and I have an airplane eating tree. With my airplane swallowed by a demon tree from Hades I turned to my frisbee. The first few launches went no where. I decided to throw it up and that was when it worked. It was actually quite fun once I figured that out. It would speed upward and then top out and on the way back down it would level out and start spinning and float down slowly. It was impossible to predict where it would land. It did not seem to be something you would throw around with a couple people because it simply didn't fly right. I was tossing the frisbee and chasing it down when I found one of those heavy duty frisbees they use in the ultimate frisbee game and the frisbee golf things. I waited a few minutes before I snagged it to see if anyone came running at me and when no one did I started slinging that thing around and let me tell you that thing could fly! I stopped for a while and broke out my snacks and had my picnic. I was quickly out of water so I had to head back. I stopped by my plane devouring tree and shook it a few more times but my little plane was gone! I gave up, for the second and final time and left the park. On my way back I found a racquetball and I had a new toy to play with as I walked. It was like an amazing toy discovery day today.

I have a new store that will be opening officially Saturday. Yes that makes the 3rd store in a week. You can get a sneak peak today by going to
http://www.cafepress.com/cldholiday. Which is where all the big holiday gifts will be. The next holiday I am designing for is Father's Day. I have 2 designs up and 2 more designs in the works. them out today!

Don't forget to check out my other new store for cds and movies, http://crazedlunatikdesigns.tripod.com/ And remember this one is available to be used by artists, writers and other entreprenuers. If you have something to sell let me know! We can get you online!

And the old standbys:
Rent My Dad Store
Stewey Store
CrazedLunatikDesigns.com Store

Have a great day!

HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: Site News
NEWEST STORE!
I am selling a few movies and cd's cheap! I will also be selling other items like stories, poems, photographs, and comics here in the future! Go and check out the newest stores! Movie Store & CD Store

Do you have items that are in good condition? I can sell them for you as well. Are you an artist, writer, photographer, seamstress or crocheter? I can host your items for sale as well! Ask me how!

My Car Needs Some Money Thrown At It Blues
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
It is a warm day again but not as blistering as yesterday but still it is hot enough for ac, which of course I don't have. I waited too long to eat so I am feeling a bit dizzy as I write this. The food I finally ate was not an instant cure so I am hoping the ice water will be. I decided it was high time to take my car for a bath and after much searching I found a scrub it yourself car wash. I wanted it's first bath of the summer to come from me as I tried to take off the Winter grime. There was even a spot of mold on the trunk where the paint continues to peel. I scrubbed the grime and mold away and I vacuumed the car. It took the whole roll of quarters I had to get it clean. Of course I had a machine steal about a dollar fifty of that. I hate vending machines. All I wanted was some Armorall for the inside. I put a note in the refund box about my $1.50 (cha-ching). I doubt I will ever see it again. I ended up stopping at the dollar store and picking up some interior cleaner wipes. I used about 10 wipes just for cleaning the dashboard..... like I said it was time for a bath! In the future I will probably take it to a place to do it for me because it isn't any cheaper to do it yourself. It seemed like such a good idea for a warm day though! In the end the car looks a lot better. It doesn't look great because the paint job has been peeling since shortly after I bought the car.... what do you do.

It looks better but it does not sound better. The car has always had a scary rattle to it when you start it up but it is definitely getting worse. That is the most obvious sign of attention needed that the car gives. The oil is due for a change as soon as I can fit it into my measly budget and the car needs a lot of TLC and probably a bundle of cash to get it running better. So far Uncle Don has donated to my car's health with a can of fuel injected engine cleaner and I have given it a bath. I know where a good chunk of money will go once the money starts flowing. Right now I am just hoping the car makes it until I can show it some love! C'mon and pray with me!

I am burning up
Mood:  on fire
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
It was 92 degrees today. That was bloody hot and not an air conditioner in sight! Good lord this sucks! It is still too hot and it will not cool off quick enough!

I wish I had more to say but my brain seems to have been cooked tonight.

Happy Mother's Day
Mood:  happy
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
It is the day to honor you mommy! So get out there and do it! I hope by the time you all read this you already have! I called my mom and sent an e-card and then told her that her Mother's day mug would be sent as soon as I could afford to buy one from myself! Nothing like delayed gratification for gifts. I should start a line of greeting cards that say: Happy (holiday, birthday, anniversary or whatever)! "I apologize for the lack of a gift; I will remedy that as soon as I get the electricity cut back on!" What do you think? Would you buy a set of these cards? I can make them if you would!

I spent my Mother's day hanging out with my Aunt and Uncle and we had a very nice visit. Every time I go there I remember why I need to go there more often! In reality I have a very good family and I realize the same thing every time I visit anybody in it. Which brings me to a shocking revelation. I do not keep in touch as much as I need to! I promise to make a more concerted effort from now on. So everybody needs to go and sit by their phones! OK maybe not but I will try to keep in touch more and I ask that you all do so as well! So instead of every 6 months I will shoot for every 2 months and then try to wrestle it down to every month.... I am including friends in this as well....

So did I see my cousin Robert and his wonderful wife Denise at my Aunt and Uncle's house? As a matter of fact no, I did not. They are in Hawaii living it up 'La Vida Loca' style! Robert was a good son and he called his ma to wish her a Happy Mother's Day!

What else? Aunt Wanda and Uncle Don bought me a plant! We went to the plant store and I found a little basil plant I liked, it was purple!!! Yes you heard right the basil is purple! He is in a big ol' pot (another thing they donated to me) and he is sitting on my kitchen table next to George. Yes I did refer to it as a he.... I already named him! His name is BAZ!!! I saw on Mythbusters that talking to the plants helps them grow but playing heavy metal makes them grow faster and larger! So I might need to hook up some Zombie, Slayer and Megadeath for him to listen to! Or maybe just Zombie since I don't have any music by the other 2 bands. I will try to get some pictures of Baz tomorrow for you guys.

I found out today that my cousin Jeremiah and Tracy just had a baby girl this weekend. She is named Maile. I might get a picture of her soon. HINT HINT!!

I wanted to announce that I missed a birthday announcement recently but I take no blame from it since the person I am about to name did not put her birthday in the events calendar. HINT HINT! Jennifer M is having a birthday tomorrow. So wish her a great birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIFER!

Gas prices
I just wanted to show some thing cool about the site that produces all of my swag, GasPrice merchandise and the 3 dollar discount!

Just A Quick Note...
Mood:  special
Well what can I say?

I have not been very faithful about updating this blog since May started. I apologize for that. I will try a little harder the rest of the month. I want to remind you that there is still a contest going on. The tombstone inscription contest. I have only recieved 2 entrys so far which is a bit demotivating but I shall persevere. The contest is wide open it's anyones game at this point! Go back to the main page to enter.

I am currently plotting out a layout for a comic. I am hoping that it will be ready by the end of July. It stars the Crazed Lunatik character, George and Stewey. I have not nailed down the concept yet so I will wait until I am in graphics production before I give anymore hints.

This weekend I am heading to Aunt Wanda and Uncle Don's house in Salem. I may not update tomorrow because of it but things should start getting back to normal on this site fairly soon. Life is kind of at a point where I am waiting for things to click together and as of yet they haven't. It is just making it hard to have anything to say. I should be writing about other things besides my life but at the moment I am a bit too self absorbed. I will give it a shot right now.

My mom is still absorbed in the hunt for a teaching job for next year. She wants to have her position locked in and not wait until Fall to see the position that her school district gives her. I can't say that I blame her, being in limbo is a truly annoying and stressful place to be. I have no doubt that my mom will land a job. She is a special education teacher and every year more kids qualify for programs to help them learn. She also has a gajillion years of experience. That doesn't mean it is not a cause for worry, anytime you are on a job hunt life is stressful. Ask me how I know. Send your wishes, prayers and positive thoughts her way.

Arlinda is graduating as a teacher in the same field. She will be looking for work herself pretty soon, probably as soon as she gets done with the graduation. Which is today! Anyone that knows Arlinda knows that she will be great at this job! Send more thoughts, prayers and wishes her way as she enters the new teaching world. Congratulations again on the graduation and good luck on the job hunt!

That's it for this entry, my dinner is calling!

A little update
Mood:  smelly
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
Yesterday I had an adventure. I started walking and ended up at the library. It was a 2.5 mile trip, so it was 5 miles total. When I got home I went to bed....

I didn't watch Foster's Home for Imaginary friends. I did not view the latest Mythbusters episode. I did not pass go, I did not collect 200 dollars. I was asleep by 8 pm. So how come I woke up exhausted? In fact I am still exhausted. I almost just skipped entering in a blog entry today but that would make 2 days in a row without a new entry.... that wouldn't be good...

Today I went out marketing with Jason my AFLAC Mentor. We hit up some businesses, handed out some fliers and some people even asked us questions. Other people met us at the door with a broom.... Now I know how Sylvester the cat felt whenever Granny would chase him off for attempting to eat Tweety. That was a Looney Tunes reference if ya missed it..... If you missed it I have one question: "Were you ever a child?" Anyway I am anxious to help with the next step..... I want to see how you turn that bit of marketing into leads... and then into business....

My other job: The cellphone thing is still going strong.... the people keep calling in and the stupidity of the customers no longer amazes me... now I am surprised when they understand what you tell them, I keep waiting for the stupid question and it doesn't come. My favorite stupid question comes after this statement: "Those minutes should show up on the phone within 5 - 10 minutes. Do you have any other questions for me?" customer: "no" Me: "Thanks for calling Cingular." Customer: "So when are those minutes going to be on my phone?" What part of the 5 to 10 minutes did they miss? And why say no to having more questions and then ask a question? I have started noticing all my conversations are the same.... exactly the same.... they may cuss differently but they are all the same....

One trend that has me boggled is the constant use of the word "cut". I will provide an example.

SCENARIO 1
me - Would you like to refill your phone today?
customer - You need to cut my phone back on!
me - So do you want the 15 dollar refill?
Customer - You all took my minutes and you need to cut my phone back on! This is my bidnes phone! I be doing bidnes wit dis phone! I need dis phone! You can't be doing me like that you need to cut my phone back on!
me - OK so do you want to pay for the full plan or just a refill?
Customer - Let me talk to your supaviza!
Me - Certainly, I will transfer you right now. There may be a hold time and you may need to restate the reason for calling when you reach the next representative. Thank you for calling Cingular!
Customer - You be..-TRANSFER-

SCENARIO 2
Me - I am sorry sir but the only option I have is for you to pay for your monthly plan I can't just add 5 dollars. Would you like to pay for your plan?
Customer - That is Bull-CENSORED!- man! Ya'll need to cut my phone back on! I got an important call to make!
Me - I am sorry sir but the only way I can get the phone back on is by having you pay for the plan.
Customer - Ya'll tryin' to rob me! You betta cut my phone back on! I use this phone for bidnes!


I think one day I might say: "Oh it's your bidnes phone?! You should have said that! Of course you don't need to pay for it! It's for bidnes! Let me get that back on for ya!"
Customer - Really!
Me - No! Now are you going to pay for the minutes or not? I have your cousin on the other line and he has a returned check he is arguing about so I am kind of busy. Can you make this quick?


That is the other thing. How come all these people bounce checks and then yell at me about it? I am not the one that tried passing a bad check, you are. I love that all these people tell you they aren't sure if it will go through so they want you to try it. Have you ever heard of checking with the bank? Nothing like playin the financial version of Russian roulette. Besides that who do they think they are fooling with the I need this phone for business bit? I think I will not pay my electric bill and when the power gets shut off I will just call them up and say "Hey y'all need to cut my power back on, cuz' I need that for bidnes! I have important cartoons to watch!" Do you think it'll work?

I should try this for everything! I can see it now: Store clerk: "Sir you have to pay for that!" me: "You must be crazy I need this bagel for bidnes! I have important cream cheese to spread!" When I land in jail my lawyer can use this argument: "But judge he had important cream cheese to spread! It was for bidness!" The judge, after seeing the flawless logic: "Mr Bakery owner, can't you see he needs that bagel for bidnes!?!"

Another use of the word "cut" came at me like this:
"Hold up let me cut this music down!" or "Hold up let me cut this phone volume up!" Huh?

The word "cut" seems very versatile!

Other then that things are hunky dorey!