For the faithful readers, Thank you Mood: cool Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
Hey all. I want to take a few moments to thank you guys for reading. I have been having a lot of fun writing these entries lately. I get a kick out of receiving emails from people with comments about the site. Even when those emails simply include a list of grammatical and spelling errors, because at least I know you read it! Speaking of my errors, I have started writing the blog entries in Word to avoid the more common errors that I make. Now I just need to pay attention to the there/their/they’re situations and the pubic/public types of misspellings, isn’t English fun? I am also working on a secret project to be revealed later, those that are in the circle of secrecy know what I mean. If you are not in the circle of secrecy it just means we have not emailed or talked in the last day or so. It’s not hard to enter the secret circle you just have to ask me a question or talk to me and I blab. I like saying secret circle and circle of secrecy, what fun!
So now that I have your attention……
I have started adding a few things on the website to encourage interaction. The first thing I added was a guestbook and a comments button. Then I added the Stewey poll, which was a roaring success with a total of 54 votes. About 40 more then I was expecting. Thank you all for voting. I think Myspace helped out with that, I added a link for the poll and it seems reasonable to assume some people answered the call. Or else you all voted a lot of times, which is fine with me. I then found an event log that you could add important dates such as birthdays, anniversaries, travel plans, national beer appreciation day, green socks day, ‘where did I put my keys’ day, ‘Who took all my money? Oh yeah the government did’ day. Whatever day you feel is important.
So what am I getting at? I like responses, I want to know you were here and you read it. I want you to make this a stop every time you get on the good for nothing (except my site) internet! There are several ways for you to get involved; the first way is to click on the words ‘post your comment (0)’ below and follow the prompts. It is a little tricky but as long as you keep clicking yes and post it will eventually leave it there for everyone to see ‘post your comments (1)’. Then every reader can click ‘post your comments (1)’ and view what you wrote and they can post something too. There are two ways on the main site, the first is the ‘Guestbook’ option and the second option is the flashing ‘Feedback’ button. There is always the old fashioned way of responding to the email I sent out. That works as well and I may start adding those to the site. I would enjoy putting information about other people besides George and myself in here. So, starting today I will be sharing information I hear, unless asked not to. This ends the whiny little girl rant for today. The next post should be more entertaining.
Once again thanks! Pass my link to your friends! If you would like your email or comment to be featured in an upcoming Rant let me know (meaning that I will post it as part of the blog and will respond to it). Please remember that this is a family friendly site, I won’t post naughty things and comments may be censored with the word CENSORED. I have an example “This stupid CENSORED cut me off on the CENSORED freeway today!” I may post it if it’s that type of comment but if it is worse then that it won't make it on here for long.
That brought up an odd thought. I was listening to the radio on the way home today and the people would just use the first letter of the offending word. To my ears it sounded extremely dirty, perhaps even dirtier then the word itself. I have a theory about why, maybe when we all know what the word is supposed to be but all we here is a self censorship it intensifies the actual effect of the word. To imply the word, but not actually say it, lends the word power. That's just my opinion though.
The buttons shown below are the exact same as the buttons that pop up on the actual site. They do work, click them to find out how.
The Mike and George skit Mood: cheeky Now Playing: Tree Hugger - The Rugburns Topic: A Mike and George Moment
Hi! George and I have been brainstorming on a new topic to write about. The only thing that has come up so far is a skit. I tried to post it last night but by the time I was done goofing off the internet connection went down. This is the second time I will type it up. It seems less funny somehow. Hey, speaking of wasting time on the internet, check out a device called Stumble! It is a downloadable device for your web browser. I am not sure it works on Internet Explorer but it works on Firefox, which is what I use. Anyway, the object is to help you find new sites of interest. You pick what you like to see or what you are interested in, it can be serious or fun; the options are able to be customized later if you need to change it. Then all you have to do is click the Stumble option and it takes you to a random site that matches one of your selected interests, if that site is not what you wanted click Stumble again. I love Stumble and I have found some great sites with it, some of them might end up on my links page soon.
"Mike! Can we get on with this?"
You're right George, sorry. Without further delay, our skit:
Hey George!
"Hey Mike, where is my food?"
Here you go. Hey I read some interesting fish facts last night on the internet. Did you know fish only have a 3 second memory?
"What? That's outrageous! Those are lies! It's not every fish, just goldfish! Where did you read that? What are there credentials, where is there proof?"
I don't know George. It seemed to imply that all fish have a short memory, not just goldfish.
"Hey Mike! Why are you talking about goldfish? How about giving me some food?"
George?
"What?"
You are eating the food right now..... I am not giving you more food.
"Oh wait you're right! I am eating! So what's new?"
Uh.... well, we were discussing short term memory in fish. You started yelling at me and then you asked for food.
"What was I yelling about? What did you say about fish memory?"
I was saying that, according to the internet, fish only remember things for 3 seconds.
"That is outrageous! I am outraged! Who said this?? Unbelievable!"
Yeah, can you believe it?
"Believe what? Hey, when did you get home? Are you going to feed me?"
THE END
-George and I would like to thank you for your polite applause. We would also like to say that even though we helped perpetuate this myth we are not sure the validity of it. We have found just as many sites refute the 3 second memory myth as those that support it. Actually, we have found more that refute it. Besides, George remembers a lot, today he reminded me to take my lunch to school and to turn off the coffee maker before I left. I would say he is an amazing fish.
"Thanks Mike! You aren't too horrible yourself. And for a human you are almost average!"
Thanks George..... You know how to make a guy feel good….
Stewey has left the building!! Mood: special Now Playing: Get Me - Twista
I would like to thank Stewey for all his contributions to the blog this week. We have had some good times buddy! I loved the late night mob hits even though all you let me do was drive and carry bodies.... I will miss that. I will also miss sharing the broccoli and cleaning up your staggering pile of poo everyday. I will also miss coming home to you viewing rabbit erotica and videos of broccoli fields that caused you to hump my shoes, my pillow, my blanket, my broom, my trash can, and all the socks I left lying around. I will miss you stabbing me whenever you felt it was broccoli time. Gosh, those were fun times. Mostly I will miss the rave reviews the co-hosted blog brought us. It is back to writing about TV and being told that the latest entry lacks interest. Oh well, I guess I can't always strike gold, besides what do you want from me did you read the April 1st blog? That was two weeks of creativity right there!
Of course saying goodbye to Stew meant saying welcome back to Dale and Maryjo. I picked them up at the airport and said 'Greetings World Travelers!!' They said "Italian drivers are amazing!" Then told me stories that made me question what they meant by amazing. Apparently, they meant Italian drivers are very skilled but I read crack smoker in the description. I asked how they liked Italy, and they started talking about when the Pope speaks, you have to wait while his words are changed into 5 different languages. I asked about the Coliseum and they told me that Mildred came close to clobbering some kids with her cane while they waited for the Pope. Sensing the trend, I asked for a little more information on Vatican City; they told me about the drivers again. So I decided to complain about them getting the Pope involved in the name change and they told me about Mildred's pace versus theirs. Apparently she had no time for anything but the Sistine Chapel and when she got there she swore it was not the Sistine Chapel, regardless of what the signs said. Then I asked about the statues of gold I had heard about that reside in the Vatican City. They responded by handing me a souvenir shot glass, grabbing Stewey, and running out the door, hopping in the car and speeding away. It was a great visit!
In related news, the shot glass is really cool. Stewey started picketing when Maryjo let 'Fuzzy' slip. He didn't stab her with a pen, which surprised me; I think he pretends to not be a gangster when he is around her. Stewey is so versatile.
The most exciting thing that has happened is that my iPod finally came back from Apple. It was nearly 2 months and a full month of that time was with the iPod fixed and sitting in the warehouse. Here is what happened. Sometime in February I contacted Apple to send my broken iPod to them. I received the shipping box at my address and then I sent it off the next day. They fixed the iPod in record time, and sent it to me. Unfortunately, this time DHL could not find the address so they sent it back, where it sat for weeks. I finally decided to call since it had been a month. After 30 minutes of hold time the Customer Service agent said it was in the warehouse. He then went on to say he would correct the address and have them ship it out right away. A week later I was calling again. That agent said that the previous agent had updated the address but had not sent a notice to the shipping department. She said she would fix it and call me back when it sent. Another week later I was back on the phone with a new agent that said exactly what the previous agents did. She however, followed through. I received a call Friday with a tracking number and the iPod was delivered Saturday morning. I am so happy to have it back. It was new or at least the casing is new. I immediately charged it and then plugged it in to update the iPod and load the songs. 8 hours and 30 gigs of music later I had a functional iPod!
It seems strange to be writing without the rabbit influence. I hope this entry fulfills the demands of all of you. Do I miss Stewey? Well, not really, he was very stinky and pretty demanding. I just needed someone to help out....
"HEY!!!"
George?
"Yeah! What about me?"
A fish? I don't know who would ever believe a fish could speak? A rabbit is feasible.... but a fish?
"What? WHAT?? Are you claiming I have no value? DO you think I am inferior to a rabbit??"
NO! That's not what I meant. I just meant it seemed more natural to talk to an animal that lived on the land. I mean what would you sound like? Blub blub blub does not make an interesting co-host.
"Are you kidding? Rabbits stink! I mean literally! Stewey was so rancid I spent the entire week crying because of his toxic fumes. It takes a long time for me to stink. I mean c'mon how many times have you changed my water? And that was your fault, you overfed me!"
True.
"I mean I have been reading what you wrote and I have to admit nobody cares about your TV habits. They wouldn't even read it if you sent them a dollar for reading it. Talk about boring. You and I could do a lot better then that. Give me a chance."
OK George, you are on. Let's put our heads together for an upcoming update.
Now Playing: I Hung My Head - Johnny Cash
A new month. A week old job and a week left of studying for insurance tests. First off the job. I have the 5AM-1PM shift. I chose it, so don't pity me. I figured this job would be much better because the first half I am way too foggy to get upset about being at work. The last half I am just so happy I am nearly done that I make it out ok. The job is scripted and extremely simple, which is another bonus. I recharge prepaid wireless phones for Cingular and that's all I can do. Any other problems and they get transferred, I don't have to troubleshoot, I don't have to be a phone expert or a plan expert, I just have to take payment for minutes. Just in case you are wondering I do not work for Cingular. I work at Vesta but I am employed by a staffing agency called Randstad. Just remember every time you call for customer support you may talk to some random person that works for an outsourcing company. Kind of gives you a warm fuzzy feeling, doesn't it? This would of course explain why they never seem to have a clue about what you are calling about or how to fix your problem.
I have been watching a lot of television lately. I have found a few favorites and I have discovered a few horrible monstrosities. I have long considered shows like Survivor to be in the monstrosity category, that hasn't changed. In fact it has intensified, maybe it's to many call centers but I hate most 'reality' shows. You are thinking why is he talking about call centers and reality shows in the same sentence. Come and take a few calls with me and tell me that you still honestly think Survivor is still great. Actually call centers are real good test zones for potential Survivor contestants. Some people I have met at this call center have been doing this job for 7 years. Someone you might know, Kevin Knuth, actually hit 5 years at Liberty Mutual. These type of people could handle surviving in horrible circumstances. Why do I need to watch a show where people get a crappy vacation and compete for big money when I know real survivors? I mean really. It seems amazing to me that the 'reality' series ever took off. I have watched a few shows here and there but I never feel a huge urge to continue the show even past the few moments. As far as other 'realty shows are concerned I have watched a handfull, but usually when the season is over I realize what a waste of time that was. The shows I have watched: The Real World (this is my college buddy Doug's fault), Road Rules (Doug again), The Apprentice (I thought a contestant was gorgeous, it's her fault), The Apprentice with Martha Stewart (another contestant caught my eye, totally her fault), The Joe Schmoe show (which was a mock reality show where only one contestant was real, the others were paid actors, I would watch that again). That is the list, I would not watch any of these shows again, except as previously stated, the Joe Schmoe show. I think 'reality television' is a trend that will end up being part of our world forever. A lot of people have predicted this 'reality' trend will die off but there are way too many long running and successful shows that beg to differ, I think their hold on the world will slip a little but the genre will continue. Sorry to disappoint you if you dream of a 'reality' show free world. Another trend that worries me is all the crime dramas. Even more alarming is the shows that just add a city to their name and they get another hour of Programming. I hear they are planning a 'CSI: Galapagos Island' for next year, can you imagine the wanton lizard and long necked turtle crimes? CSI and Law and Order are overtaking the world! What galls me is that all the variations are exactly the same. The people feel the same, the cases are the same and the surprise twists are all the same. I seem to be in the minority for this opinion, most people I talk to eat these shows up. The only show in this general group that I like is NCIS. I like the characters especially Abby who is tattoed and very goth. How in the hece she became an NCIS agent is beyond me but she is the reason I started watching. I like the other characters as well, how can you go wrong with veteran actors like Mark Harmon and Lauren Holly. So now we have discussed two entire genres that I dislike and the notable exceptions, what do I like. Well I tend towards comedy and sci-fi as far as genres, but I don't just like them because they are in that genre. I want to be specific about a few shows that I like and that I think you should see.
Mythbusters: This is a show about a couple of guys that take myths and try to prove or disprove them. The main people that test the myths are Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman, they have added a few people to test the myths (apparently it is a lot of work) since the show began they are: Grant Imahara, Tory Belleci, Scottie Chapman. Christine Chamberlain, and my personal favorite Kari Byron. Some myths they have tested include: Archimede's death ray, cell phones on planes, Franklin's kite experiment (just to let you know good ol' Ben would have been a crispy critter), and my favorite, do trucks get better gas mileage with the tailgate down (the answer is no, they actually end up getting a little bit worse, did you hear that dad??? I was right!!! MUHAHAHAHA). In case you weren't aware MUHAHAHAHA is universally known as a victorious evil guy laugh. I just became a fan of the show so I have only seen a few shows but it's better to catch shows like this later because all the reruns are new for you and marathons catch you back up rapidly.
Deal or No Deal: I hate to admit it but this show has caught my interest. The show has everything! A bald Howie Mandel, 26 gorgeous models holding briefcases that have different monetary value from 1 cent all the way to a million dollars (put the pinky to your mouth you know you want to), and if that wasn't enough they have a mysterious evil guy in the shadows known only as the banker. If you have not seen the show here is a quick summary. A contestant picks a case he thinks has $1,000,000 (pinky!) then he names other cases to be opened. As the cases are opened the contestant hopes they are all smaller then $1,000,000(pinky). If he picks cases correctly, meaning all eliminated cases contain low amounts which would leave big numbers as possibilities for the contestants chosen case. The banker's job is to offer him an amount to stop opening and avoid paying him $1,000,000 (pinky). The show is pretty intense and I usually end up yelling instructions at the TV. I haven't yelled at the TV like this since I used to watch Jerry Springer after having a few beers back in college.
Doctor Who: This old science fiction classic has been reborn. It is an excellent British show about a time traveler known simply as 'the Doctor', who fights evil forces through time and space. So far we have focused on earth for the first few shows but prior versions of this show had him all over the place. I have heard that 'the Doctor' that stars in this show has already passed the throne on to the next person for season two. This would be a horrible event in other shows but it seems cast changes have been written in to the story since the first Doctor stopped being the Doctor. That is because the Doctor can take on a new shape and face to avoid being to noticeable and does that from time to time. It is a great show and a very good reason to have cable.
There are other shows I like but these are my current favorites. Let me know which ones you like.
THE FIGHT FOR STEWEY Part 2
The emails keep flooding in! If you have not read the post before this one, please scroll down to the entry titled "THE FIGHT FOR STEWEY". The main difference is this one is part two, so you should read part 1 first. If you read part 1, go ahead and read this post. I am excited because I never knew that my blog was read by so many big named people and organizations.
1. On 4/01/06, PETA wrote:
To the sick and depraved purveyor of the Crazed Lunatik Designs website and weblog:
We have recently been monitoring your blog postings and we find you to be an enemy of PETA. We are appalled that you listed names such as Hasenpfeffer, Stew, Stewey, Stewart and Sir Poops A Lot as possible names fur a cute little bunny! The first 4 entries deal with rabbit stew! We looked up Hasenpfeffer, and were horrified! We are organizing protests to begin tonight outside your apartment. The world will know who you are! Sincerely, PETA
2. On 4/01/06, Mike Williams wrote: To PETA,
Wow, thanks for the free publicity! Where are the hot girls dressed only in lettuce that I saw on your website? If you wouldn't mind sending them over, Stewey and I would like to meet them. Stewey might eat their lettuce, but I am OK with that!
Sincerely, Mike Williams Otherwise known as, the sick and depraved purveyor of the Crazed Lunatik Designs website and weblog
3. On 4/01/06, Michael Jackson wrote:
Dear my biggest fan,
I know you love my music, but that is no excuse for being ignorant. You're being ignorant. Stop being ignorant. Bunnies are beautiful. Naming bunnies fuzzy, fluffy or peter is beautiful. Naming bunnies Stewey is ignorant. Why are you so ignorant? Don't be ignorant.
Are you a little boy? Love, Michael Jackson, The King of Pop
4. On 4/01/06, Mike Williams wrote: Dearest Michael Jackson, the King of Pop,
This is awesome! Thank you for writing to me. I have a few of your albums!
That being said, I think you overuse the word ignorant. Try rewriting that paragraph and using a thesaurus, thanks.
I am not a little boy, I am 28. That is such a strange question, why do you want to know? One more thing, why did you sign the email as Love, Michael Jackson? That is strange.
Sincerely, Mike Williams
PS. Please continue reading my blog of ignorance.
There were more but most of them would have to be censored. You would never believe the mouth on Teresa Heinz Kerry! I hope you enjoyed the emails and remember you have to fight for what you believe in. Take a stand for Stewey's rights!
THE FIGHT FOR STEWEY
It started out easy enough, I had a poll to help Stewey get a new, more respectable name. The poll was a success and names flooded in. One name rose to the top, in the aftermath the rabbit was known as Stewey, and that name was a good name. However, some groups have decided to intervene in a rabbit's rights to name himself. I will show the resulting barrage of emails below.
It started out with a simple email, it was an email from my dad.
1. On 3/30/06, Dale Williams wrote:
Michael, what is your mailing address? Dad
I replied and added a joke.
2. On 3/30/06, Mike Williams wrote:
Hey dad, My mailing address is: ***** SE Rusk Rd Apt 16 Milwaukie, OR 97222
Is this for the subpoena regarding the rabbit name change? He counter filed an emancipated rabbit claim! He hated the name fluffy. Honestly!
And what I misunderstood to be a responding joke came back to me.
3. On 3/30/06, Dale Williams wrote:
Michael, We talked to the Pope on Wed. He is taking steps against you and Fluffy Bunny. No messing around with minor legal agencies. We are going to the top. Dad
That's funny right? I thought so too....
4. On 3/31/06, Mike Williams wrote:
Well considering I am not Catholic.... not real sure that I have to listen to the Pope. I mean it was at the bequest of STEWEY anyhow. He asked for his name to be changed! He has eaten broccoli as celebration of the fact!
That was when it all began to unravel. It has been a deluge of emails since the day began. I have found myself the most vilified man in America because I believe in a rabbit's right to choose! I will share some of the horrible email and my responses below:
1. On 4/01/06, The Pope wrote:
Dear Michael Williams, I must first begin this letter by saying that I am sorry you are not Catholic! I would have been able to handle this problem more efficiently. Then we could have focused on seeking forgiveness for this sin. A few million Hail Marys would have been a good start.
The problem I am referring to is the renaming of one Fuzzy Bunny to Stewey. We do not believe that a rabbit should have the right to choose their name. Rabbits were given their name by God himself and the rabbit should accept the Lord's will. I must put an end to the moral backsliding you have started in Fuzzy Bunny. When you renamed him Stewey, you opened up Pandora's box, he is a gangster rabbit because of you. One careless act of aiding a bunny in renouncing his name, faith and creator has put both of your souls in jeopardy. I doubt that you will see the simple logic in this argument, so I will have to use other means of rectifying the situation. I hope that you can see how serious this issue is to me.
Since you are not Catholic, I will use political means to fix this horrible error on your part. It is good that the Lord forgives. I will get the divine powers involved as well and with both political and divine powers at your door I know you will do what is right. Let me give you a heads up, HE is upset and by HE I mean the Lord! Hey, I am the Pope, I know these things. That being said, expect to hear from some very high up organizations in the near future.
Now that the nastiness is over, say hi to Mildred, Dale and Maryjo for me. They were great! Sincerely, The Pope
2. On 4/01/06, Mike Williams wrote:
Dear Mr. Pope sir,
I am very excited to have received an email from you. Thank you.
As I am sure you are aware the world is rife with issues that horrify and shock. None so shocking as the oppression of bunny rights! I am very disappointed to see that you have decided to set back rabbit rights 20 years. I respect the office of the Papacity but I think you are wrong and I am willing to enter the fray. Stewey deserves no less from me, besides he is wicked with a pen.
That being said, have a good day of blessing the masses and the hello will be passed on to Dale, Maryjo and Mildred.
Sincerely, Mike Williams
3. On 4/01/06, The Pope wrote:
Dear Mike, What are you talking about? I am the Pope, I am not wrong! Oh and one more thing, the 'office of the papacity', did you make that up? The Pope
Apparently the correct word is not papacity it is papacy. I think papacy should be changed to papacity, it's a much better word.
4. On 4/01/06, Supreme Court wrote:
To Michael Williams,
It has come to our attention that you have taken it upon yourself to violate Bunny Law 319. Which states: "No bunny shall have any part in his naming process. Any human aiding an outlaw bunny will be jailed for not more then 60 years but not less then 59 years and receive a fine of 1,000,000 dollars!" As you can see, there are laws about bunny names. We expect to see you in court on Monday! Sincerely, Some very upset judges!!
5.On 4/01/06, Mike Williams wrote:
No hablo ingles senors y senoras. No comprende email!
6. On 4/01/06, Supreme Court wrote:
A Se?or Michael Williams, Tenemos traductores. !Este aqui lunes! !Y traiga su tarjeta verde! Sinceramente, !Algunos jueces aun mas trastornados!
Translation: To Mr. Michael Williams,
We have translators. Be here Monday! And bring your green card!
Sincerely, Some even more upset judges!
7. On 4/01/06, President Bush wrote:
Mike,
I just saw your site! I think that rabbit Stew sounds good. I am heading to Air Force 1. Be there in a few hours. Have the soup ready, the key to rabbit stew is seasoning.
Sincerely, President Bush
8. On 4/01/06, Mike Williams wrote:
Dear President Bush,
I am glad you enjoyed the site, good thing I didn't make fun of you on it. I wanted to clarify that I am not about to dine on rabbit stew. I have been rabbit sitting for Dale and Maryjo while they are vacationing, I renamed their rabbit Stew. Please stay in Washington D.C., thanks for the rabbit stew advice. Say hi to Barbara and the girls for me.
Sincerely, Mike Williams
9. On 4/01/06, President Bush wrote: Mike, Come on they won't miss the rabbit! I'll bring the bread, it'll be fun! Just let me know. The President
I have more emails, give me a second to proofread and then I will share the rest.
The newest favorite Mood: celebratory Now Playing: R. Kelly - Showdown (which is ridiculously long and silly) Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
Hey all!
I have been absent since I added the photos and the event calender. Sorry about that.
I paid rent today, so I am broke. Really broke, but that's ok. I am not here to complain today, in fact all I want to do is rave. I want to rave about my newest most favoritest snack in the whole world! Kettle Chips
Where did I first find them? Glenn and Maryann had some Krinkle Cut Salt and Fresh Ground Pepper chips out for snacks and I could not stop munching on them. Some of you may know that I have never been a huge fan of chips. The only time I have had them in my house has been for the Superbowl or left overs from some other party. I hardly ever have chips at Subway. These chips are different. I am not sure what it is but I love them. There is a lot of info on the back about how they make the chips and what not but I have never read it. All I know and care about is that I like them. Very recently, dad, Maryjo and I ripped into another bag of their chips with an interesting flavor called Cheddar Beer. I am now addicted, I have actually bought chips three different occasion since I have tasted the first chip at M&G's. Which means three time in a week. They have several tasty flavors and as soon as I can stop myself from buying the cheddar beer variety I plan on trying a few. They have flavor combos that intrigue me: Spicy Thai, New York Cheddar With Herbs, and Roasted Red Pepper with Goat Cheese. If you need a snack you should get these chips. I do recommend caution however the urge to devour the entire bag hits pretty hard. I have opened up my most recent bag and divied it up for lunches. This has been working as a stopper so far and it has made my lunches a whole lot more enjoyable.
Hold on one second..... What was that, Stewey?
Stewey would like for me to tell you about what it is that he loves more then anything. He says it's broccoli....
Stewey, I am not writing that last comment!
OW!! Alright, I will tell them what you said, just put the pen down.
Stewey said:
"Tell them I know who read the word broccoli and thought 'Ewwww!!!' Tell them I know and I am coming! YOU TELL THEM I'M COMING! AND THE REAPERS COMING WITH ME, YOU HEAR?! THE REAPER'S COMING WITH ME!!!"
I typed it Stew! Relax!
"Tell them!"
Ok, I will. Stewey says he is coming.
"AND???"
And he's bringing the reaper with him. Are you happy now?
Sleepless in Sea... err... Portland Mood: loud Topic: Mike gets kinda political
Have you ever had one of those nights where no matter what you do you can't fall asleep? I had one of those last night. I think everybody has nights like this. The mind is so busy running wild, sometimes, that it boils over, and no matter what you need to do the next day, sleep becomes harder to catch. I had a lot of ideas buzzing around in my head, ideas for future blog entries, ideas for stories, ideas about the world, ideas about life. They were all buzzing around in my head and I wrote some down in my bedside journal, but the more I wrote the more ideas I had. Most of them were silly things and a lot of them were just bits and pieces of an imagined whole. I tried to roll over, I tried staring at a certain spot in the wall, I counted sheep. In the end I got back up and started typing. 2 hours later I had a rough draft and I was finally tired enough to suppress the roiling cauldron of ideas. It was 1:30 AM and I had to be at work at 5:30 AM.
So what did I write feverishly about for 2 hours? Jury duty.
Yes, jury duty. What about jury duty could have caused me to lose so much sleep?
I am glad you asked.
It was a throw away moment and a throw away statement that lodged itself in my brain Monday night. I was sitting at the orientation meeting for my new job and had been faithfully doodling for almost 2 hours. We were discussing work expectations. More specifically we were talking about not being late and not calling in sick. In this general topic is a section about getting approved time off. From vacation, to religion the area is well hit and questions abounded. Some question was rambling out of a co-workers mouth that sounded to me something like this: "What if on the third Tuesday of the second month of the Mars land rover expedition my daughter gets sick and I have to rush her to the hospital and I am supposed to be at work and while I am on my way there a werewolf jumps out and rips off my arm and beats me silly with it and I never make it to work and end up in the hospital next to my daughter with severe blood loss, would that be an attendance occurrence?" I am thinking, "It sounds like this has happened to you before." The next topic is jury duty. He asks who has had jury duty before, and out of a group of 55, 5 of us raise our hands. I am completely amazed. In college I was asked 7 times, in Phoenix I was asked 1 time and in Roseburg I was asked and I served on a jury one time. That makes 9 times I have been asked. I have been old enough to be on a jury for 10 years and I have had my name drawn 9 times. That sounded like Ferris Bueler, "9 TIMES". Anyways we discuss the fact that usually you know a month in advance about your appearance date, unless you live in Roseburg where you are told you need to call in every day of your special month to find out if you will be called for Jury Duty. So for 15 business days I called and on the 16th day I went to jury duty. I loved it, I had enjoyed serving and I look forward to the day I can do so again. I thought it was incredibly interesting and kind of fun to watch from that side of the courtroom, the deciding side. I was part of 12 people that made a decision in a civil case. It was a great experience.
Except, when I had went for jury duty I had a company that paid me for the day when I signed over my juror pay. Which irked me , I mean it was only ten dollars why not pay me and let me keep the juror pay. My new company does not pay you while you are at a juror. You make ten dollars for that day and you miss a day of real pay. If you have more then one day this could be financially devastating. So he told us to schedule the day off and when they interview the jurors claim financial hardship and the judge most likely will let you go home. Everybody was immediately placated. Well, everybody but me, I was crestfallen. The realization that for a lot of people it just isn't something they can afford to do, including me at this point in my life, seemed devastating and shocking.
At this point, we moved on to dress code and the guy finally livened up, and with that momentary entertainment, the shocker of a moment ago slid back into my subconscious. I went home made dinner, fed Stewey, fed George and fed myself. I wrote a clever update, I ended the poll, I watched some TV and I answered some emails. Then I went to bed, where I tossed and turned for two hours trying to resist the urge to get up and write all these ideas that had started attacking my brain. I had to sleep, the next day was an early start and I had lots to do. My eyes would not close, my eyelids were not heavy, every sound was an irritant. I wrote a quick future blog where I worked in a slightly changed quote from 'Tombstone' and had Stewey recite it. It was genius. I laid back down and within minutes I was scribbling ideas about why he said the quote. Then I started scribbling ideas about how he was contributing to my blog topic when he uttered the line. "It's all down, it's already to go", I thought. So I got up and headed to the computer and started typing. What came out was a horrible mess of an idea about the importance of jury duty, it had nothing to do with Stewey and his overbearing gangster side, or his clever reworked 'Tombstone' line.
Finally, I bring you the idea that generated this entry.
Jury duty is a vital part of being a United States citizen. It is one of the easiest ways to participate in the world around you. You actually see your opinion matter. You are an important piece to the justice puzzle. You actually see some of the things that the crazy American colonists decided was worth fighting for. A trial of your peers. The very community you live in decides what your lot will be.
Then how come it is seen as such a curse? How come an entire segment of the population is left out? Is this related to low voter turnout? Is it just to hard to believe that poking buttons in a booth will decide the next senator, governor or president? I think it is. I think, that if all you get to do is vote, it's hard to believe that anybody cares about what you have to say. I think that the electoral college and the legal wording on the ballots and the propositions make the process seem foreign and not worth the time. Especially, if you always pick the loser.
Jury duty, allows you to realize that you're part of something bigger then you can see. At least it did for me. There has been only one other thing that has made me feel so connected. That was actually emailing the senators and receiving responses back. Sure, a few were canned 'rah rah vote for me' wastes of email disk space, but some came from the senators themselves. They stopped what they were doing, read what you had to say and then responded. Sometimes they don't agree with you and sometimes they do but you still have to respect that they responded. You kind of have to respect that they told you the truth when they have to get reelected by voters and their opinion was the opposite of yours. Sometimes they offer advice, sometimes they explain their stance, sometimes they just say thanks for bringing your view to my attention. Whatever it is, it is great to see the response in your email box. It makes you feel like you are a part of something. Maybe I am crazy and maybe I am the only one who wants to take part in something this big. If that's the case why are you still reading this entry?
Jury duty is another way to connect with your government. It is something that shows you respect, because as a juror you have a very important job. I think it is essential that economics is eliminated from people's decision to serve as a juror. Why can a company elect to not pay a person for jury duty? Why is the juror pay so pathetically low? How do we make it more realistic? What is the solution to make it more inclusive?
I don't have the answer. Every answer I come up with gets beaten out by several reasons that the answer is not perfect. I will put them out there anyway.
1. We raise juror pay to a higher rate, a livable daily rate. * Well that would get extremely costly. Where would we get the money for that when plenty of programs are already being tossed out the window? 2. We demand employers pay for an employee to go to jury duty. * This one seemed plausible at first. I always believe that companies whine about employee costs more then they should. If it was so bad too pay people to work we wouldn't have to work and everybody would be farmers, artists and writers. I mean more then likely it would end up being tax deductible if we made it mandatory anyways, where is their excuse then? The big corporations already don't pay people what they are worth. What is a day of pay here and there? It's for a civic duty. Then I realized that this would apply to the small businesses too. If they could figure out how to pay for an employee to go to jury duty, would they be able to afford losing that person? And how many more corporate tax cuts can the regular American people stand? I don't think I can stand too many more. You make billions and since that means you pay more taxes here is a tax break! What do you mean their percentage is lower? They pay more then you do! GRRRR!! 3. A compromise. The government and the company both pay for a portion of the worker's salary. * There still is not enough tax money, regardless of whether you believe the national debt exists or doesn't exist. The companies will still find a way to complain even with a tax cut. And how much would each side pay? If it were a percentage how much would that mean. Say a CEO went to the jury duty. How much is half of a days pay of a multimillion dollar salary? Where is the cutoff? Who qualifies for this, who doesn't? What about the self employed? How screwed are they?
So where is the solution? How do we get more voices actively taking part? Is it that plenty of people would rather less voices took part. I don't know, but that type of thing is what keeps me up at night.
For ways to email your congressman, check my Links page.
The rabbit has a name! Mood: a-ok Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
Well by a 71% approval rating 'fluffy' has become Stewey or Stew!
Thanks for the votes and all the suggestions. I actually think we should be calling him Capone or Babyface because he is a total gangster. In fact he had me drive him over to this other bunny's house and we hung that rabbit out the window, threatening to drop him until he paid his dues. We are about to put a horsehead into another bunny's bed tonight and we may swing by and teach another rabbit a lesson, whatever that means. We stopped for some alfalfa at this bunny bar last night, and he stabbed some rabbit in the neck with a pen after the rabbit yelled at me because I asked him if it was his pen. It went like this: Me: "Excuse me mr. rabbit?"
Little Brown Rabbit: "What? What could a "human" want with me???"
Me: "Uh, sorry sir...."
Little brown, but extremely rude, rabbit: "Spit it out! I ain't got all day to deal with youse guy! I got carrots to eat and lady rabbits to hump!"
Me: "I found this pen..."
Little evil brown rabbit: "what's that got to do wit me??"
Me: "I...I...I thought it might be yours..... "
Evil awful jerk of a rabbit: "Does it look like I have opposable thumbs?? What are you some kinda dummy?"
Me: "Sorry sir..."
Mean, about to make me cry like a girl, rabbit: "Do you think I am an idiot? If I needed a pen I would have one! I don't need your CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED pen!! You trying to make me look like some kinda jerk???"
Stewey, the rabbit formerly known as fluffy: "What did you say??? What did you say??? You will apoologize you little rat!"
Brown, frothing at the mouth rabbit: "I ain't apologizing to no biped! You ca....Aaaackk aaaackk!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!"
This was when Stewey pounced and shoved the pen into the rabbits neck repeatedly. We loaded him up in my car and buried him south of Portland.
I feel dirty....
So yeah he needed a tougher name but he says he can make Stewey work. He says he won't have to kill you or me for that matter. Then he added "Yet!" and started cackling. Yeah, it scared me too.
The Rabbit! Mood: accident prone Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
The rabbit and I have entered day 3 of our existence together. I feel I owe it to everybody out there to let them know how abusive rabbits can be. This rabbit calls me names, demands food, drinks all my beer, insults my guests, changes the channel to QVC when I am not looking and then eats and poos while I am talking to him. Earlier today he flipped over my kitchen table and threatened my fish George Jefferson with a knife! It is getting very dangerous in here!
He told me it's because I haven't named him and if he doesn't have a name by Monday night he is going to open a can of whopp booty on me! Look, I am scared of facing this deranged critter in the art of fisticuffs. Please do your part and vote for a name! For all that is decent help me name him!
There he goes again drinking more beer! PLease just vote!
cool
cheeky
special
celebratory
loud
a-ok
accident prone