The Ramble Rouser

Sunday, 16 July 2006

Superman Returns
Mood:

surprised
Topic: A Rambling Review
I have already written a little about this movie but this is my actual review of it. This was another movie I wnet and saw with my mom and auntie. This was a movie they liked. My mom even cheered and raised her hands up when the title flashed across the screen during the opening credits, it was shocking. The topic as we left the conversation was me and my cousin Jeremiah in the capes my auntie made for us and underroos running around all over the place as Superman and Batman. Without further delay the rambling review of Superman Returns.

The world is Superman free and life carries on..... sure they missed the big guy but people have to move on. That's what we humans do, we dust ourselves off and get back up and get moving. What choice do we have really? The world has gone five years without Superman and thats when he decides to come back home. He crashes in his ma's cornfield, sure hope that wasn't mortgage money. He is back and he heads to Metropolis somehow thinking he will get right back in the swing of things but Clark Kent has been gone 5 years as well. Nothing is the same. At the Daily Planet, the only person happy to see him is Jimmy Olson and that is mainly because Jimmy has always been a geek. The boss doesn't care and neither does the bustling office. Lois is off on a groundbreaking news event on a plane and Clark is discovering that Lois has a new man.... and a son!!! Holy bootknocking Batman!!! Wait.... wrong superhero. Of course the plane Lois is on goes out of control and Superman makes his reappearance saving the out of control plane just in the nick of time...... which was a little tough to swallow because I saw him reverse the earth's rotation in one of the comic books I read. Plane must have been heavier. Either way he manages to save them in the middle of a ball park during a baseball game. The crowd goes crazy and Lois faints. The thing that bothered me was he flew off leaving the plane in the field! What the heck??!!! Anyways it's all feel good touchy shiny happy feelings as Superman zooms all over the world saving everyone. Except Lois is super pissed.... what the? She does not want to interview the returning hero.... Why not? Could it be the 5 year old boy? Nah. She is just a smoker and hates that Supes blows out her lighter. SHe pretends to be over Superman, she is definately over Clark, but we know better. Clark stumbles through his words and Superman is like Supafly with his game. I mean seriously talk about having a strong pimp hand (his appeal with the ladies is great)! Anyways Lex was released from prison as Supes came back and he of course has some stupid world domination plot that will kill lots of people so he can get some paper (money). The plot is to use Supes crystals he found back in the day to grow his own land mass..... which will of course sink the US in the Sea and will leave rich people ready to buy the newly created land.... Yeah like I said, stupid. Anyways Clark is caught up in trying to figure why he and the Man of Steel are getting the cold shoulder from Lois. He is oblivious to Lex's plans. Lois however is not and ends up captured by Lex with her son in tow. We find out the kid is definately Superman's when he throws a piano on to a guy that is trying to kill his ma. Which explains why Lois is pissed and I mean who wouldn't be? You make love and the next day the man you were with flies off to find out if Krypton is still around and leaves you with a bun in the oven. Hello Superman where was the call and the roses? C'mon man! As this is happening everyone discovers that she is missing and Clark and the new man look through her personal stuff looking for clues to where she was headed before the kidnapping. As they are hacking into her computer Lex is launching a crystal surrounded by Kryptonite into the ocean because the crystals expand like crazy in water. Clark and the other guy stop looking through her things because they know where she is. The other guy heads out in a plane and Superman helps around the city a bit before taking off to the middle of the ocean. The rest you will have to see for yourself.

I liked this movie, it wasn't groundbreaking or exceptionally well done but it was entertaining. I liked the kid even though he hardly spoke, the new Superman looked the part and with a few more smiles and a little better dialogue would have pulled off the part. The story was pretty good, a bit heavy handed and a little choppy but it was not DREAMCATCHER quality (Kevin) and that was a good thing. I think a lot of the reason I liked this movie was that Lois was finally hot in a movie.... I like Kate Bosworth!

Wait!! Wrong movie that was Blue Crush... here she is in this movie...

Yeah I have superficial motives sometimes..... ANyways I thought the movie was pretty good and pretty watchable. I recommend you go see it.

Posted by Michael Williams at 8:15 PM PDT
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Sunday, 16 July 2006 - 11:40 PM PDT

Name: kevin

no, its not dreamcatcher. and i never said it was. i reserve those barbs for trash like v for vendetta.

but i digress.

lois is hot in this flick. supes looks the part, and i think the actor did a great job. its just not superman if he is a deadbeat dad. alright, he didnt know he was a deadbeat dad, but really. he is not "super" if he knocks boots, then takes off. and he does not even tell her who he is?!! supafly, yes, superman, no.

again, as someone who loved the comics, and someone who helped these guys get to the status they are by buying their stuff for years it is more than a dissapointment when they throw off the comic universe entirely for this drivel. i guess they bought into all the criticism that supes is "too good" and has no grit. he supposedly does not resonate with people in this age. but people keep buying his books, and dc comics should pay attention to that.

it looked good. it sounded good. it cost too much(most expensive movie of all time and they are only making a third of it back last time i checked). but it did not click. not as bad as godzilla (american version) but disapointing none the less.

the really bad part of this is it will take another 20 years for them to make another if this one flops this bad. they will have to wait for the memory of this to go away first so they can reinvent the universe again. maybe he will be a pornstar or drug dealer or something. that would sell tickets!! get me dc on the phone!!

and that really sucks.

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Monday, 17 July 2006 - 4:20 PM PDT

Well here is the thing Superman does not sell as well as other comics.... so they had to or felt they had to spice it up a bit. Yeah that is always a bad idea you and I have had this conversation plenty of times over other comic book movies..... what was amazing was Bryan Singer, the man that did a decent job with the first two X-men movies would allow the movie to get that far away from the comics. That was a little shocking.... why couldn't he have stayed with X-men..... I mean his Superman is still better then that other guys Xmen..... Did you see that waste of two hours?

I mentioned I never read very many Superman comics in the days gone by but I still probably read more of his comics then at least 3/4's of my readers. I just never really was into Superman.... which is only a half truth. I have seen every Superman related movie and all the tv shows of my generation. I like Superman but I always seem to pick up a comic where Superman is essentially being duped by incredibly stupid villains.... You are right the crystal thing was stupid..... yet that seems to be the caliber of foes Superman fights. I don't read DC as a general rule unless the story involves Batman... Batman is much cooler then any other hero in my opinion. He is way cooler then any movie has ever shown him even the latest one. Which was damn cool. I just never felt the same about Superman.... I always found him Hokey.... someone that has that much power can't stop crime in his city? I mean hello?

By the way there is no such idolized family as "The Beavers" it was the Cleavers and the son was called Beaver.... Dumb ass... hehe

Anyway back to the point I am not saying this was a great movie or that they did a good job with Superman.... but I still enjoyed it. I mean did you see the previews for Catwoman??? I didn't even bother to go see it.

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Monday, 17 July 2006 - 9:35 PM PDT

Name: kevin

didnt see catwoman?!! you non halle berry in leather wathing homo!!

ok i didnt watch it either.

superman comics can be pretty cool. but they do have their days. i think they rotate writers, sometimes they get you into this great story and then totally muck it up. but supes can be cool. and you are right about batman. he is awesome. you should check out batman/ superman. they just have the two of them running around and its cool.

it wasnt a bad flick. but i will not go so far as to say i "liked it." it was not a total waste of my time, and i did see it for free, so i cant bitch too much. and at least this time they were not cramming some liberal bullshit down my throat for 2 hours. i would have gotten my free movie money back for that one.

btw, supes is a vegetarian in the comics these days. i thought that might interest some people.

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Monday, 17 July 2006 - 10:08 PM PDT

Name: Mike
Home Page: http://www.crazedlunatikdesigns.com

Supes is a vegetarian??? What a total catastrophe! Holy heck! I better put it in writing to boycott his comics!! hehehe just kidding

interesting though.....

I agree with you about a lot of points but in the end my whole stance is that it was an entertaining 2 hours... I probably won't own it but I would watch it again if someone paid money for it....

I have read a few batman/superman trade paperbacks..... they were rad. Have you read Batman: Hush? Superman gets entranced by Poison Ivy in it and Bats has to take him down with a Kryptonite ring. I love the 2 of them together the dark and the light are an interesting combination. That is the movie they should have made....

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