THE FIGHT FOR STEWEY
It started out easy enough, I had a poll to help Stewey get a new, more respectable name. The poll was a success and names flooded in. One name rose to the top, in the aftermath the rabbit was known as Stewey, and that name was a good name. However, some groups have decided to intervene in a rabbit's rights to name himself. I will show the resulting barrage of emails below.

It started out with a simple email, it was an email from my dad.


1. On 3/30/06, Dale Williams wrote:

Michael, what is your mailing address?
Dad

I replied and added a joke.

2. On 3/30/06, Mike Williams wrote:

Hey dad,
My mailing address is:
***** SE Rusk Rd Apt 16
Milwaukie, OR 97222

Is this for the subpoena regarding the rabbit name change? He counter filed an emancipated rabbit claim! He hated the name fluffy. Honestly!


And what I misunderstood to be a responding joke came back to me.

3. On 3/30/06, Dale Williams wrote:

Michael, We talked to the Pope on Wed. He is taking steps against you and Fluffy Bunny. No messing around with minor legal agencies. We are going to the top. Dad

That's funny right? I thought so too....

4. On 3/31/06, Mike Williams wrote:

Well considering I am not Catholic.... not real sure that I have to listen to the Pope. I mean it was at the bequest of STEWEY anyhow. He asked for his name to be changed! He has eaten broccoli as celebration of the fact!

That was when it all began to unravel. It has been a deluge of emails since the day began. I have found myself the most vilified man in America because I believe in a rabbit's right to choose! I will share some of the horrible email and my responses below:

1. On 4/01/06, The Pope wrote:

Dear Michael Williams,
I must first begin this letter by saying that I am sorry you are not Catholic! I would have been able to handle this problem more efficiently. Then we could have focused on seeking forgiveness for this sin. A few million Hail Marys would have been a good start.

The problem I am referring to is the renaming of one Fuzzy Bunny to Stewey. We do not believe that a rabbit should have the right to choose their name. Rabbits were given their name by God himself and the rabbit should accept the Lord's will. I must put an end to the moral backsliding you have started in Fuzzy Bunny. When you renamed him Stewey, you opened up Pandora's box, he is a gangster rabbit because of you. One careless act of aiding a bunny in renouncing his name, faith and creator has put both of your souls in jeopardy. I doubt that you will see the simple logic in this argument, so I will have to use other means of rectifying the situation. I hope that you can see how serious this issue is to me.

Since you are not Catholic, I will use political means to fix this horrible error on your part. It is good that the Lord forgives. I will get the divine powers involved as well and with both political and divine powers at your door I know you will do what is right. Let me give you a heads up, HE is upset and by HE I mean the Lord! Hey, I am the Pope, I know these things. That being said, expect to hear from some very high up organizations in the near future.

Now that the nastiness is over, say hi to Mildred, Dale and Maryjo for me. They were great!
Sincerely,
The Pope

2. On 4/01/06, Mike Williams wrote:

Dear Mr. Pope sir,

I am very excited to have received an email from you. Thank you.

As I am sure you are aware the world is rife with issues that horrify and shock. None so shocking as the oppression of bunny rights! I am very disappointed to see that you have decided to set back rabbit rights 20 years. I respect the office of the Papacity but I think you are wrong and I am willing to enter the fray. Stewey deserves no less from me, besides he is wicked with a pen.

That being said, have a good day of blessing the masses and the hello will be passed on to Dale, Maryjo and Mildred.

Sincerely,
Mike Williams


3. On 4/01/06, The Pope wrote:

Dear Mike,
What are you talking about? I am the Pope, I am not wrong! Oh and one more thing, the 'office of the papacity', did you make that up?
The Pope

Apparently the correct word is not papacity it is papacy. I think papacy should be changed to papacity, it's a much better word.


4. On 4/01/06, Supreme Court wrote:

To Michael Williams,

It has come to our attention that you have taken it upon yourself to violate Bunny Law 319. Which states:
"No bunny shall have any part in his naming process. Any human aiding an outlaw bunny will be jailed for not more then 60 years but not less then 59 years and receive a fine of 1,000,000 dollars!"
As you can see, there are laws about bunny names. We expect to see you in court on Monday!
Sincerely,
Some very upset judges!!


5.On 4/01/06, Mike Williams wrote:

No hablo ingles senors y senoras. No comprende email!


6. On 4/01/06, Supreme Court wrote:

A Se?or Michael Williams,
Tenemos traductores. !Este aqui lunes! !Y traiga su tarjeta verde!
Sinceramente, !Algunos jueces aun mas trastornados!


Translation:
To Mr. Michael Williams,

We have translators. Be here Monday! And bring your green card!

Sincerely,
Some even more upset judges!

7. On 4/01/06, President Bush wrote:

Mike,

I just saw your site! I think that rabbit Stew sounds good. I am heading to Air Force 1. Be there in a few hours. Have the soup ready, the key to rabbit stew is seasoning.

Sincerely,
President Bush


8. On 4/01/06, Mike Williams wrote:

Dear President Bush,

I am glad you enjoyed the site, good thing I didn't make fun of you on it. I wanted to clarify that I am not about to dine on rabbit stew. I have been rabbit sitting for Dale and Maryjo while they are vacationing, I renamed their rabbit Stew. Please stay in Washington D.C., thanks for the rabbit stew advice. Say hi to Barbara and the girls for me.

Sincerely, Mike Williams


9. On 4/01/06, President Bush wrote:
Mike,
Come on they won't miss the rabbit! I'll bring the bread, it'll be fun! Just let me know.
The President




I have more emails, give me a second to proofread and then I will share the rest.