HARRIS!!! This is not funny." Spike came storming into the bedroom, rage showing clearly on his face.
"But Spike, the look on your face is priceless. Hold it right there, let me get my camera. I have to have a picture of this."
"You take one step out that door and it'll be your last. Put everything back the way you found it, now. Your little jokes were funny for a while, but this is just going too far."
Xander was unable to control his laughter anymore, he fell to the floor, rolling and red faced. "Sp-spike, Spike, I just couldn't resist."
Spike had had enough, he turned around and stomped out of the bedroom. Pulling out drawers in the kitchen and throwing them on the floor, he sorted through the mess until he came up with the scissors he was looking for. When he walked back into the bedroom, he nearly smiled at the look of fear on Xander's face. Spike morphed into gameface and headed straight for Xander, walking slowly, slapping the scissors against the palm of his hand.
"Xander, one last time. Where are my clothes?"
"You're wearing them, Spike. Sheesh."
"You know what I mean. This trash isn't mine. Like I'd ever be caught walking around in yellow and plaid."
"But, Spike. It's soooo cute on you."
"I'll tell you one last time. I. AM. NOT. CUTE!!"
Spike punctuated each word by slashing the air with the scissors. Then, seeing he was getting nowhere with Xander, he walked past the stunned human and into the closet.
"Spike, what are you doing?"
"Oh, nothing pet. Don't you worry your pretty little head about a thing. You go on and have your laugh at my expense. I'll be in here."
Xander was getting more and more worried. Spike with honey voice was nothing to laugh about. Walking over to the closet door, Xander looked in to see Spike with a large satchel in his hands, gleefully slashing at it with the scissors. Stabbing the scissors into the leather satchel, Spike would snip and cut at the contents, a huge grin on his face, while Xander looked on in horror.
"Spike, how could you? I loved those clothes. And that's Buffy's bag, I'm telling her what you did."
Finished cutting and tearing the clothes inside the satchel to bits, Spike tossed it onto the floor and looked at Xander with a superior, smug expression on his face. "There, that's done. Let's see what else we can find in here. I'm gonna cut up every piece of your clothes until you return mine. Your little practical jokes with my clothes have gone on long enough, time you learned a lesson." With that said, Spike turned and started looking through the closet for more clothes. Tossing them over his shoulders, Spike made two different piles with the clothes, one pile was of Xander's favorite clothes, the other was of the most hideous clothes he could find. Destroying the last pile, he figured, would just be doing the world a favor.
"Spike?" Spike stopped, not believing what he was hearing. "What's so funny, pet?" , nothing. Just thought you might like to see this, is all." bt and fear etched on his face, Spike turned to look at the human. Xander was standing there, a huge smile on his face. In one hand he held the, now holey, satchel. In his other hand, he held a mass of ripped and shredded black clothing. Spike started growling and slowly stepping toward Xander. With Xander backing slowly away, Spike spoke, his voice barely audible above the growling. "Xander, you better start explaining yourself." Xander continued to back away, a step at a time. "Boy, what have you got to say for yourself?" A wide grin flashed across Xander's face as he spoke just three words before running for his life. "Neener neener neener."