Title: New Beginnings 2/2
Author: CJ
Pairing: Aus/X with G/X preslash
Warning: Slash!
Spoilers: None
Summary: Kinda dark. It's my first attempt at dark fic, so just laugh if you need to.
Distribution: Want, Take, Have. Just let me know.
Disclaimer: All characters herein belong to Joss Whedon and Company. I earn no money from these writings.
Graham carefully placed Xander on the bed, rolling him gently over onto his side to get the covers pulled up over him. "You can't go back to your apartment, so this will be your home until we can find you somewhere else to stay." He whispered the words to the sleeping man, trying to comfort him, even though Xander couldn't hear the words.
He stood staring for just a few moments before turning back to close and lock the door. A loud crash from outside the window drew his attention away from the door and he rushed over to see what was happening, but it was just another drunk frat guy, out on the prowl. He'd probably get himself killed before morning, but Graham decided it was more important to stay here and take care of Xander than to go out and save some idiot that didn't know better than to wander around after dark.
Turning away from the window, he remembered that he never had gotten over to close the door, so he crossed to room. Just as he reached for the door, he heard the loud music and laughter from down the hall. Taking a step out into the hall, he looked down the hall in the direction of the noise. "Hey, keep it down out here. Some of us have to sleep."
He turned to step back into the room, and found himself face to face with Angelus. "Did you think it would be that easy, Boy? Now, why don't you invite me in before I break you in half."
Graham's eyes turned cold and he locked gazes with the monster before him. "I won't let you hurt him again. Do whatever you want to me, but even if you kill me you can't get inside. This is Xander's home now. Even with me dead, you'd need his invitation to get in."
Angelus smiled cruelly and reached out, grabbing Graham around the throat. "You humans, you make it so easy." Then kicking the door open, he pulled Graham around to face inside the room. "Xaaaander. Wakey wakey."
Xander pried his eyes open at the sound of the voice. For a moment he believed he was still trapped in his nightmare, but as soon as he turned over he saw Angelus holding Graham just outside the door. Xander backed into the corner, shaking his head from side to side. "No no nononononononononono. He's not here, it's not real." Xander clasped his hands over his ears and screwed his eyes closed.
Angelus rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of frustration. "Boy, let me in. I don't blame you for leaving, I blame him. We'll punish him together. All you have to do is invite me in."
Xander raised his eyes toward Angelus, looking back and forth from the vampire to Graham. He could see Graham shaking his head, but all he could think was that he couldn't let Sir kill the man just for trying to help. He looked back at Angelus and locked eyes with him. "Come in Sir."
Angelus growled, low in his throat. "That's not good enough, Xander. You have to say my name."
Xander's eyes widened in fear and he shrank back against the wall again. "But Sir, I'm not allowed to call you by your name, it's in the rules."
"Just this once, Boy. Invite me in. And since you remembered the rule, I'll let you have the first go at the hero. How's that? Don't you want to please me?" Angelus let his face fade back into his human guise and smiled at Xander.
Xander slid to the edge of the bed and dropped off the side to kneel on the floor. Lowering his eyes to stomach level again, he spoke up. "Come in, A-Angelus."
Angelus stepped inside the dorm room, dragging Graham with him. He pinned the former soldier up against the wall and turned his head to look at Xander. "Well, come over here boy. You can help, it'll be your reward."
Xander slid off the bed and moved to kneel beside Angelus, keeping his eyes down, looking at the floor. "What would you have me do, Sir?"
Angelus looked into Graham's eyes and smiled evilly. "He's a hunter, I'm sure he has a bag around here somewhere. Search the closet, see what you can find." Looking down to and stoking a hand over Xander's hair, Angelus' voice dropped to a whisper. "You know what I like."
Xander stood and crossed to room. Opening the closet, he was immediately surrounded by the scent of Graham, the man that risked his life, his soul, to save him. He shook off the feelings and memories that intruded in his mind and began searching for knives and stakes, anything Sir could use for his fun. He stopped only once in his search when he heard Graham's choked scream, but he refused to turn and look. There was nothing he could do now, Sir was here and he wasn't going to let him go again.
Finally he found what he was looking for. In the far back corner of the closet sat what appeared to be a doctors bag, but upon closer examination it turned out to be filled with stakes, bottles of holy water, and at the bottom was a shock stick and a taser. He pulled the bag out and carried over to Angelus' side. Pulling the bag open, he showed his find to Sir.
Angelus examined the bag at his feet for a moment before reaching in and pulling out a coiled length of thin rope. He took it and began to wind it around Graham's chest. The second choked scream caused Xander to raise his head. What he saw sickened him. Graham hugged his right arm to his chest, the blood running over his flesh nearly obscuring the tip of the bone that protruded through the torn skin.
Xander felt the tears rising in his eyes, but forced himself to watch as Angelus continued to tie Graham's arm at a very painful angle against his chest. He watched as Angelus reached into the bag once more and withdrew a long, sharp knife. Xander's lips tremble as he saw the knife disappear inside Graham, sliding easily between his ribs. He couldn't hear his own voice as he whispered the words over and over. "No no no no no."
Angelus looked down at his boy, growling. "What's the matter, Boy. Don't like to see your friend hurt? Would you rather it were you in his place? We can do that, if you like, and we will if you don't SHUT UP!"
Louder now, Xander stood, screaming at Angelus. "NO NO NO NO You can't hurt him. He's my friend." Xander beat his fists against the vampire, not noticing the stake clutched in one hand. The stake tore chunks out of Angelus' flesh and for the first time, the vampire felt fear of a human.
Graham gasped as one of the vampire's flailing fists connected with his face. Snapping his head back around, he called out to Xander. "Xander, kill him. Hit him in the chest."
Xander didn't hear him, couldn't hear anything over the rage that had erupted in his mind. He'd been holding it inside himself, pushing it down, covering it in layer after layer of fear for over a year now. But today, today someone had cared about him...and it didn't hurt. For once, he knew someone wanted to help him, not just keep him around to be a sex toy, a punching bag. Now he let it all out, fear for himself overridden by fear for the one person that had cared enough to save him. He released every ounce of rage and hatred he'd kept buried.
Angelus heard though, and turned to growl at Graham. His last mistake. When he turned, he presented his back to Xander. The stake clutched in the human's hand sliced into him as neatly as the knife had gone into Graham. Silence descended on the room, Graham starring in horror and fear at the growling vampire in his face. Angelus standing still as stone, surprised and confused in equal measure as he felt the tip of the wooden stake pierce his heart. And Xander, shuddering in relief, fear, grief, too many emotions for him to process as he fell to his knees, watching the man he loved, the vampire he'd come to hate and fear, dissolve into ash.
Pain wracked Graham's body as he slid down the wall to sit beside Xander. It took three tries before Graham got the brunette's attention. "Xander? Xander. Xander!"
Xander brought his tear streaked face up to meet Graham's eyes. Silently, he drew on lessons learned over the last year and drew his emotions back into himself, and reached out to stroke a finger down the other man's cheek. "Thank you."
"Xander, you're going to have to pull the knife out of my side. I can't reach it with my arms tied this way." Graham, still gasping in pain, drew Xander's attention to his chest. Xander reached over and calmly clasped the knife in one hand, bracing the other against the muscles in Graham's chest. With no expression on his face, Xander tugged the knife out and threw it across the room. He watched calmly as the former soldier sank into unconsciousness.
*****
Light seeping into his mind, Graham tried to open his eyes but found it very difficult, they felt as if they'd been sealed shut. He could hear a whispering voice, but couldn't make out what it was saying. Finally, he was able to crack open one pale gray eye, and saw two worried brown orbs looking back at him.
"Xander?" He tried to speak, but his voice came out as a hoarse, creaking hiss.
Xander began fussing with the covers, pulling them up to Graham's neck, smoothing them, looking everywhere but into the other man's eyes. "Shh, don't try to talk. The doctor is on her way." With nothing to occupy his hands, Xander started wringing them together. He paced back and forth, never allowing himself to stand in one place for more than a moment.
Graham winced as he pushed himself up slightly in the bed. "Xander, what's wrong?"
Turning once more, Xander glanced at Graham, then away. "Nothing. Not really. Just, Giles called...they heard you were attacked and they're all on their way here."
Graham kept looking at the brunette, watching him pace until it began making him dizzy. "And that's bad, why?"
With an expression of horror on his face, Xander stared at Graham. "Because Buffy thinks Angelus was a good guy, and she's going to ask me where he is, and I don't know what I'm going to say. And when they find out that I killed him, they're gonna want to know why, and they'll hate me, and then Buffy will hurt me, and Willow will look at me, and Giles will sigh and walk out, and I don't think I can handle it."
Xander collapsed into the chair beside the bed, burying his face in his hands and letting the tears come. Graham was just about to try slipping out of the bed to go to him when the doctor entered the room. "Well, Mr. Miller, you are a lucky man. According to the scans we took, the knife didn't penetrate any vital organs. We had to go in and stitch the muscles and we've set your right arm. But all in all, I'd say you were very lucky indeed. That vandal that broke into your dorm room could have killed you."
"Xander, Graham?" Xander's head shot up, a wild look in his eyes, as he heard Willow's voice coming from the hall.
Graham cast a worried look over Xander before calling out in a slightly more normal voice. "In here Willow."
The room erupted into chaos as they entered. Buffy and Willow immediately went to Xander's side when they noticed the tears on his face. Giles stood just inside the room, taking it all in. And Riley went to Graham, clasping his shoulder in a firm grip. "Graham, man, what happened? It was all over the news about a break in at the dorms. We were all on our way over to check on you when one of the guys from down the hall called."
Graham looked at Xander again, seeing the fear in his eyes. He watched as the doctor spoke quietly with Giles before leaving the room, then looked into Riley's eyes, willing him to believe. "It was Angel. He came over, shouting some nonsense about needing to send a message. Xander said that's what he was like last time he was evil. He knocked Xander down and worked me over good before I could stake him."
Three pairs of eyes went to Buffy as she gasped and collapsed to the floor. "A-Angel's dead? How....how did he lose his soul again?"
Graham kept his eyes on Xander, watching the relief come over the brunette's face. "We don't know. He didn't exactly give us time to sit down and have a talk. Buffy, I know how much he meant to you. But he was going to kill us, I didn't have a choice."
It was Giles, watching from the doorway, that stepped over to pull the sobbing girl from the floor. He gave both Graham and Xander a knowing smile. "It's quite alright, Graham. If he were truly evil again, then the Angel we all knew was already lost." Then taking Buffy by the arm, Giles began to herd them all toward the door. "Why don't we all go, let Graham get some rest. I'm sure he could use it."
Graham cleared his throat, looking over all his friends. "Xander, would you stay?"
"Sure." Xander walked back over to the bedside, looking confused.
As the other's all left, pulling the door closed behind them, Graham reached out and took Xander's hand in his own. "Thank you for saving my life."
Xander smiled, a shadow of his former self showing around the edges, "Well, one good turn deserves another, right?"
"Is that the only reason you did it? Because I saved you?"
"I'll tell you, if you tell me why you saved me first." Xander refused to meet Graham's eyes, instead watching as their fingers wrapped themselves around each other.
Graham smiled, pulling their clasped hands to his mouth and placing a kiss on Xander's wrist. "That's easy. I saved you because I love you."
Xander's eyes shot up, one eyebrow arched. "Really?" His heartbeat increased, fear beginning to show in his eyes.
"No, no no, not like that. Never like that." Graham sat up, ignoring the pain in his side and arm, and tried to comfort the other man.
Xander sighed, mumbling something Graham couldn't understand. The former soldier pulled him closer. "What was that?"
Xander closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "I said, I think I might love you too." Then opening his eyes, he allowed Graham to see the truth in them. "But I'm scared. I loved Angel too, and he hurt me. A lot."
Graham pulled Xander onto the bed, holding him close. "How about we just start slow, just go on a few dates, and talk. Then if you don't want to keep going, we can stop. I won't ever force anything on you, Xander. I promise."
Xander looked up at Graham. "Now that I can do." Then he laughed, the first real laugh he'd had in almost a year.
End.