New Beginnings 1

Title: New Beginnings 1/2

Author: CJ

Pairing: Aus/X with G/X preslash

Warning: Slash!

Spoilers: None

Summary: Kinda dark. It's my first attempt at dark fic, so just laugh if you need to.

Distribution: Want, Take, Have. Just let me know.

Disclaimer: All characters herein belong to Joss Whedon and Company. I earn no money from these writings.

"Where have you been?"

Xander turned at the sound of the voice. He hadn't expected anyone to be here when he came home. He turned away from the door, lowering his eyes to the floor as soon as he caught sight of the shadow leaning against the bar. He really tried to keep the fear out of his voice when he answered, it only made it worse. "With B-Buffy, we went patrolling and ran into some trouble. It took longer than we expected to get away from them."

"What kind of trouble?"

The concern in the voice, even over the anger, made Xander tremble even more. He could feel the tears begin to form in his eyes, knowing he'd forgotten a rule. Again. He didn't know why he always forgot, he just couldn't seem to remember them all when he was away from home.

"I..I..I.." Xander stuttered, trying to get his brain around the fear to give a proper answer, but he couldn't seem to speak and concentrate on remembering all at the same time. He closed his mouth, swallowing hard around the lump in his throat. Before he could try again to answer the question, the cold voice interrupted his thoughts.

"You, you, you what? Can't you even answer a simple question? I'm talking to you here, Boy. At least show me the proper respect and answer me."

Xander's lip trembled and he shook his head back and forth as he tried to answer, his words coming out strangled. "I'm sorry, Sir. I forgot. There were demons in the park, they'd already eaten some smaller animals and Buffy was afraid they might go after people next. Giles sent me and Buffy and Willow out after them. I didn't mean to be late, but if I'd left them out there alone, they'd have gotten suspicious and everyone knows I can't keep secrets from Willow."

Xander watched from the corner of his eye as Sir's face clouded. He knew immediately that he'd said the wrong thing, he just didn't know which wrong thing was the wrong thing to say.

"You want to tell Willow about us?" The words left Sir's mouth coldly, slowly, measured to strike the part of Xander's brain that was attuned to Sir's bond.

Xander's head shot up, his eyes wide with horror. "No! I'd never. I don't want to, but I wouldn't be able to stop myself."

Sir's hand shot out faster than Xander could see, connecting with his face. Head swung to the side, Xander could feel the tendons stretching, bones ready to crack, and for half a moment he wished they would break. He had begged for fate to take him away thousands of times, but Sir always knew just how hard to hit to make it hurt, but not hard enough to kill. Slowly, Xander brought his head back around, lowering his eyes again. He cursed himself for forgetting.

Xander could already feel the bruise forming at the back of his aching jaw, the muscles of his neck hurting where they'd torn but he kept his head lowered, only watching Sir from the corner of his eye. He flinched back when Sir reached for him and instantly regretted it. He had no clue what was wrong with him tonight. He'd been so good lately, always being home when he was supposed to, getting everything just right, he'd even seen Sir smile at him a couple of times. But tonight for some reason, he just couldn't remember, or rather he couldn't concentrate.

Sir continued reaching for him, noting the flinch, but making no comment on it. He grasped the back of Xander's neck, squeezing just enough to make the muscles and tendons sing and the bones creak. Bringing Xander's face close to his own, he used his free hand to start undoing the buttons of his shirt. He threw the human back onto the sofa and shrugged out of his black coat, then finished removing his shirt. Underneath was the belt he wore around his chest, usually holding knives and extra stakes for when he was forced to pretend to fight alongside the Slayer. But tonight it held the few small tools he'd brought along.

Reaching behind his back, Sir released the buckle that held the belt on and lay it across Xander's knees, then unbuttoned his leather pants. He left the pants zipped and walked closer to Xander, looking at his down turned face. He knew where the boy was looking, but since he didn't disapprove, he kept silent until he was standing with Xander's knees between his legs. Then he leaned closer, putting his crotch within inches of Xander's lips. "I think you need a refresher course on the rules. Go to the bedroom and strip. I'll be there shortly."

//What the hell am I doing? It's 2 o'clock in the morning, I should be at home studying for finals. Not heading back over to his apartment for one last chance to speak to him. So he forgot his wallet at Giles'. Like he wouldn't have figured that out tomorrow anyway. Lame, Miller, very lame excuse.// Graham kicked out at a can littering the sidewalk, sending it crashing into the street. He'd wrestled with his decision for over half an hour before deciding to go with his gut. And now his gut was having second thoughts. He had no idea why it couldn't ever be easy.

Standing outside, looking up at the window to Xander's apartment, Graham thought about all the reasons not to walk up there. But he discarded them the moment he saw a shadow cross over the window. //He's home. He's awake. Maybe he wants company. It's possible. It's also possible I've gone soft in the head and should just throw myself at the next passing vampire with an eat me sign around my neck. But such is life. No pain, no gain. And thank you Sgt. Blackmon for that mantra.// Muting the internal babble that never seemed to stop when he was thinking about Xander, Graham walked up the few steps and into the building.

Graham stared at the brass numbers on the door for what seemed like forever before raising his fist to knock. His hand froze an inch above the wood and he flattened his palm out and placed it reverently against the smooth surface. It was cool to the touch, but Graham imagined he could feel Xander pressed against the other side of the door. //Stupid, Miller you are the biggest idiot there ever was. Not to mention, probably clinically insane.// Shaking himself, Graham drew his hand back and knocked twice. Then he stood there, staring down at the wallet in his hand.

When no answer came, Graham reached out and knocked again. Still no answer, and his confusion grew. He'd seen Xander moving around inside. And he was positive he'd been looking at the right apartment, he'd been staring at that window every night for two months now. Concern rising, Graham called out. "Xander? Are you in there? It's me, Graham."

He stood there for a full minute before raising his hand to knock again, longer and louder than before. "Xander!! Open up, I know you're home. Is everything okay?"

A slight thud sound drew his attention immediately and he pressed his ear against the door. He could barely make out the voice on the other side. "Graham, I'm, uh, very tired. I'll call... call you tomorrow. I'm gonna go to b...bed now. Bye."

Graham heard more than just the words. He'd been concentrating his every sense on everything about Xander for months now and he could tell that there was more to his voice than the words were saying. He banged his fist against the door again. "Xander!? Xander, open the door." Three heartbeats. "Xander!?"

His only answer was a strangled, "Go away."

Without stopping for a moment, Graham backed a step away from the door, bringing his foot up and kicking it in. He strode into the room to find torn clothes all over the floor. He could hear ragged gasping coming from down the hallway and ran to the bedroom. When he entered, he stopped for one horrified minute. The bed had been turned up on it's side, covering the window. Where it had been, Xander was hanging, face pressed into the wall. His feet and arms spread wide and circled by leather straps tied to four identical knives that were driven into the wall studs to the hilt.

Graham was staring so hard at Xander, or rather the beaded leather strap attached painfully to his cock, that it took a full minute for him to realize where the strap led and to hear the words that were being whispered into Xander's ear. Holding the other end of the strap was Angel, he was leaning into Xander's back, both naked, and asking questions. Graham couldn't make out the answers, but he could hear the whimpers in Xander's voice.

"You're doing good, Boy. You remembered all the rules. So that just leaves me with one question left. If you know them all, why do you keep breaking them?" Angelus stroked his tongue over Xander's ear, trailing his fangs down the lobe. Drawing his head back he let out a breath, blowing the hair out of his face. Then he turned his head to the side, not quite looking at Graham. "Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to join in?"

Graham stood stunned for a moment, still not believing his eyes. When Angel spoke to him, his brain snapped out of its fog and he looked at Xander. "Xander, has he hurt you?" //Stupid. Of course he's hurt. He's staked to the wall while a sadistic vampire plays with him. What, you think he did this willingly?//

Xander turned his face away, eyes squeezed shut. "Graham, go, get out of here. Ahhh!" He screamed as the strap around his cock and balls was pulled just a bit, some of the beads pressed into his abused anus.

"I didn't tell you to talk, Boy. Did I?" Angelus pulled again on the strap, enjoying the screams coming from his human.

Graham took a couple of steps into the room, stopping again when Angel turned back to him. The vampire pulled away from Xander and stepped out into the middle of the room. "Are you going to run, Soldier? Give us a workout? You know you'd never get far." Stepping closer to the former soldier, Angelus sniffed, closely circling Graham's rigid form. "I can smell it on you, ya know. Your fear, your desire. You like seeing my boy naked and splayed out, don't you? You want to go over there and play, don't you? I can arrange it. I can have him be everything you want him to be, for a price."

Graham turned toward the vampire, their noses almost touching. The breath coming from Angel was rancid, smelling like old blood. "And what would the price be to get you to let him go?"

Angelus laughed, throwing his head back and clutching his stomach. "You're funny, anyone ever tell you that? The only way I'd let him go, is if you were to take his place."

Graham's jaw clenched as he ran all the possibilities through his mind. "And the price for the other, for the offer you made?"

Smiling Angelus stepped closer, their bodies touching from chest to knee. "Simple. If you want to play, you just have to join him."

Graham knew he was running out of time. He was running out of things to stall with. Looking back over toward Xander, he pointed with one hand, distracting the vampire, while with the other he slowly pulled the short, black shock stick from the waistband of his jeans. He quickly dropped his hand, pressing the stick to his leg, when the vampire turned back to him, a question in his eyes.

Graham cleared his throat. "Wo...would I have to be tied up the same way?" When Angel turned away again to consider the options, Graham flipped the switch on the shock stick, thrusting the prods up against the vampire's balls. As Angel dropped to his knees, Graham brought his fist up and hit the vampire in the base of the skull with the handle of the stick, knocking him unconscious.

Rushing over to Xander, Graham pulled at the knives for a bit before realizing they weren't coming out. Looking around, he noticed more of the knives lying on what used to be the bedside table. He snatched one up and sliced through the straps holding Xander to the wall, catching the younger man as he collapsed. He took most of Xander's weight as he led them toward the door, but Xander let out a small whimper and stopped. Looking down, Graham saw the strap around his cock and balls, and he saw that the other end was still clutched in Angel's hand. Leaning the brunette up against the wall, he looked into his eyes apologetically. "Xander, I'm going to have to cut that off. Is that okay." He waited for the small nod. "You're going to have to be very still so I don't cut you, okay."

Graham wedged the tip of the knife between Xander's hard cock and the leather of the strap. When he turned it to cut, the sharp tip nicked Xander's flesh, bringing up a drop of blood. Graham looked up at Xander's closed eyes. The younger man had an expression of rapture on his face that only increased with every stroke of the knife. Finally the strap was cut, but it had been on so tightly that Graham had to peel it away from his skin. He looked down as the strap came off only to see the cum shoot out of Xander's cock at the last pull of his flesh.

Graham was about to say something when he looked up and saw the tears coming from Xander, and the deep red blush that covered most of the upper portion of his body. He closed his mouth and put an arm around the brunette's shoulder. "Let's get you out of here, okay?" When he saw Xander nod, he led them both into the living room. They'd made it almost to the door when it struck him. He'd known that Xander was naked, he'd been painfully aware of that fact since he'd first seen him, but it only just now struck him that he needed to cover him up before leaving the apartment.

Propping Xander against the back of the couch, Graham told him that he'd be right back and started going through the closets, looking for a coat or something. The only thing he could find was a jacket that cut off at the waist, that wouldn't work. Resigned to going back into the bedroom for some clothing, Graham took a deep breath and headed for the hallway. He'd just passed the couch when he noticed an old pair of sweats on the floor. Snatching them up, he hurried back to Xander and knelt at the younger man's feet, helping him to dress.

Hearing the rasping noises above him, Graham looked up to see Xander crying. He quickly went back to working the sweats over the other man's trembling feet, ignoring the evidence of arousal hanging next to his face. //Now's not the time, Miller. How sick are you? The man's hurt, and humiliated, and all you can think of is that he's naked and this close to you.//

Standing and pulling the sweatpants up with him, he lifted Xander from the couch. Xander couldn't support his weight on his own feet yet, so he leaned heavily against Graham, pressing against the entire length of his body. Graham stiffened when it became obvious that Xander could feel his own arousal, but continued to pull the pants up and tie the drawstring. Once more taking the other man's weight on his own shoulders, Graham led him out of the apartment and they slowly made their way down the stairs.

Exiting the building, Graham lifted slightly and half carried Xander down the steps to the sidewalk before setting him back on his feet. It was quickly apparent that it was a mistake, Graham had forgotten that Xander was barefoot and the rocks and trash on the ground cut into his feet painfully. He leaned down, placing one arm behind the younger man's knees and the other around his shoulders and lifted, thanking every god he could name for all the workouts he'd been forced to do. And cursing himself for enjoying the feel of Xander's body pressed so intimately against his own. Neither man noticed the glowing yellow eyes watching them as they made their way down the street toward the college.