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A Life Lived

Many people would say, war in Vietnam ruined many lives year in and year out. Long & grueling days of what they say was a must for their survival of making it back to the life they remember living. Of how it once was . Realizing that all to soon as being no longer fact but that of which was a mind’s fantasy hanging on to a former self ,lost to the poisons of what was forced upon them. Drowned out, the old being soon becoming the government’s #1 killing machine. Filling their minds with visions after visions of what will become a hellish mind set of a never-ending wicked re-enactment that’ll forever elude a chance of a no nightmare sleep they try to have. Not any time soon will this occur. Drenched filled pillows & beds; these memories have also cast upon the men who have lived a true hell. One that should’ve never been cast out at all.

Many ,many, way too many lives were lost . Amongst them in which their hands & or weapons was the cause of many to breathe a final breath. For their fate was surely slow and quick. Whatever it took for the enemy to be a null & void...children & women at first were the hardest until soon learning they were the deadliest fuckers; #1 mission was to betray our thoughts of how we in the U.S. see them to be. Nothing about them pure, not like the ones we left back at home. Quick are they to toss a grenade or even taking their life to take one of ours that day; dying a hero to a family waiting for a safe return that will never come.

More recognition the dead would receive. More so than the ones who still fight, got twisted, perma-fucked on ever going back to their former selves. Lost beyond the point of ever feeling. Feelings felt by most, not exposed to all they have endured. Replaced in it’s place is a non-felt feeling that must be placed there instead. Place your feelers, morals, beliefs of rights and wrongs of what was and could have been. The life they once knew.

Along with a pure heart full of much things that usually you could use if able. Not today, It won’t even be placed on a shelf for a later retrieval. Nope, no way, forever it’ll be lost. In it’s place there shall be a void soon filled with all that you destroyed. Snapping the moment with your minds-eye Polaroid. In which upon many of what they see is actually forever etched into their Brains...driving too many to even count who’ll lose sight of all they learned as a youth. Reprogrammed to kill,kill,kill!!! Their mind deteriorating life they all knew. Most on the brink, labeled as “One’s who became the all to well upper class of the inhuman, violent, non-feeling. Soon becoming a real nut case. Especially when encountered by their #1 enemy in their book. Surely, once more the soldier must kill as life slowly trudges on!! Most would have claimed to be a man gone insane. Getting back actions & reactions of what the war is, was & it did become. Fuck...fuck...fuck...I know for sure part of my father’s youth I’ll never know thank’s to Vietnam!! He came back a much, much, twisted, bitter, confused, lonely, non-feeling, 5150, P.T.S.D, agent orange, malaria, Hep C, pain filled human. An unknown force eating all that his insides hold.

Growing up I felt the pain of seeing what he fights this day & age. Trying to turn a new page on life as he so often attempts to grasp. Forever watching it slip thru his grasp & pass on by. Upon his return to the U.S.,he believed to be “The man who fought for his country.” One who people should’ve given respect to for all the hell he overcame. To not only losing all that he was before but, to his own surprise, his own spat at him as though he did wrong to survive-n-come home. Shredding his being even more. How I hate that WAR!!! But, you see in my eyes my daddy is a hero not only for fighting in Vietnam but ,also for the war he continues to fight. The one all Vietnam Combat Veterans do. The one deep down forever raging within. A battle only won when death finally takes a hold of all that is left of the bravest of men you’ll ever know. Their fate no longer a torture of each passing day. If only society tried to understand instead of pushing them to the side, as if they were trash to be ignored. What a loss they got when all they had to do was to reach out a helping hand. Truly American heros is what they are. All who endured the hell lived in the Vietnam war.....

Melissa Bradshaw
17 March 2004

Daughter of:
Michael “MadMonk” Bradshaw