| Witness to a terrible sight
at the landfill. (MIB, torture, impossible things) |
| : | | | |
| Page
1 of 4 | | |
| From: gothor | Posted:
1/24/2003 7:43:05 PM | Message Detail |
Ever since me and my father
saw what we saw in that heap of garbage, I've taken this matter
very seriously. Dead seriously.
We were digging around for my school project on the effect of
"disposable" items on landfills when we noticed a
bunch of guys in black suits, which is weird because garbage men
wear orange around here.
"Who are they, dad?"
"I don't know, son. They're men. In black."
"They aren't in black, dad, they're in garbage."
"Shut up, son. Listen!"
We could hear them chanting softly in the night, so crept closer
to investigate. They were surrounding a man bound to a chair. He
was obviously freaked out and struggling. The men in garbage
closed in around them, until we could only hear his muffled
screams, and when they pulled back...
The man in the chair was transformed. His lips were attached to
his shoulder, an arm came out the top of his head, and just
above his butt, we could see were a hatch was carved in his
body. But when one of the men in garbage pulled off his arm and
tried to attach it to his eye, I'd had enough. I rushed forward
calling out, "Leave him alone you *********!"
"There's nothing to see here," they said. "Just a
Mr. Potato head action figure fun toy. Go home... or someone
might discover a Mr. Potato Gothor."
We ran. I mean, how'd they know my screen name?! It's really
freaky.
We went back to the scene the next day. There we found some
partially covered pieces of plastic. White arms. Big red lips.
Jolly eyes. It's all distractionary, just a cover-up to hide the
truth. There IS no Mr. Potato Head. Only a man in a chair and a
horrible secret that may never be known.
I've been having strange dreams lately. Dreams that I wake up
and my body parts are laid about me on a metal table. Men
smelling of garbage surround me, muttering and arguing about
where will go what. I try to scream, but I can't. Then I see
why...
I can't scream because they've got my mouth.
---
Thor's House of Recalcitrancy. Home of Videogame Lookalikes.
http://thor.mirtna.org/ |
| From: otacon 01 | Posted:
1/24/2003 7:46:23 PM | Message Detail |
That is damn funny! I salute
you!
---
We are all on a Crusade. Some have yet to realize theirs. |
| From: RIZLA | Posted:
1/24/2003 7:53:37 PM | Message Detail |
| so u was digging around in a
rubbish tip then yeah sounds like a bad idea gone wrong |
| From: gothor | Posted:
1/24/2003 7:56:02 PM | Message Detail |
There's nothing funny about
it, but I appreciate your salute. I think I'll need all the help
I can get. This morning, I went to take out the trash (another
garbage connection! Could it all be a coincidence?). As I turned
to enter my house, I felt something under my tennis shoe. I
lifted up my foot and to my horror, there was a little white
arm! It's definately a warning. I know too much.
---
Thor's House of Recalcitrancy. Home of Videogame Lookalikes.
http://thor.mirtna.org/ |
| From: goldenflashes13 | Posted:
1/24/2003 7:58:07 PM | Message Detail |
know too much, yet make too
little sense.
---
Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell
him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky
feeling. |
| From: GreenjesterXXX | Posted:
1/24/2003 8:00:13 PM | Message Detail |
wow man, thats SCARY. sounds
like you need to reformat your computer.
---
I remember coming into this topic with something intellegent
to say, but now I'm just thinking that I'd be a lesbian.-
Couch Chimp |
| From: gothor | Posted:
1/24/2003 8:01:49 PM | Message Detail |
Nothing makes sense anymore.
I'm scared. Me and my father are stockpiling food and water,
hoping to wait things our in Grandpa's old bomb shelter. That
way they couldn't "deal" with us unless they brought
in tanks, which would be too obvious. Unless they thought of
contaminating our air supply.
What's that hissing sound?
---
Thor's House of Recalcitrancy. Home of Videogame Lookalikes.
http://thor.mirtna.org/ |
| From: munky22 | Posted:
1/24/2003 8:22:07 PM | Message Detail |
a computer in a bomb
shelter?
---
Right now I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time.
I think I've forgotten this before. -Steven Wright |
| From: Pojo Da Chickan | Posted:
1/24/2003 8:22:39 PM | Message Detail |
oops, I farted..
---
Greenday roXors j00 boXors! |
| From: gothor | Posted:
1/24/2003 8:39:12 PM | Message Detail |
Of course there's a
computer. I wouldn't go anywhere without a computer, especially
a bomb shelter.
Unfortunately, it's not just a way for me to expose their evil
schemes, but also a way for them to contact me. They just sent
me an email, I'll type it up as soon as I can, but Dad wants me
to help stack cans of Pork and Beans.
---
Thor's House of Recalcitrancy. Home of Videogame Lookalikes.
http://thor.mirtna.org/ |
| From: otacon 01 | Posted:
1/24/2003 8:42:17 PM | Message Detail |
Copy and Paste it. It is
faster. I thought So was in trouble...
---
We are all on a Crusade. Some have yet to realize theirs. |
| From: Mind Of My Own | Posted:
1/24/2003 8:46:55 PM | Message Detail |
Shut up.
---
GameCube has what no other system can touch - Nintendo games. |
| From: T U S Valentine | Posted:
1/24/2003 8:58:57 PM | Message Detail |
Funny stuff.
---
You gotta pay your taxes man! Or else they'll take away your
friggin bling bling! ~ Dave Grohl
.,† Z€RØ ØR Ї€ †,. |
| From: gothor | Posted:
1/24/2003 9:00:25 PM | Message Detail |
Okay, this is the message I
recieved. There was no return address and when I checked the
full header, that was blank too. It's they've hacked directly
into my computer. I don't have a firewall or anything. I should
install ZoneAlarm or something, but as frightening as this
letter was, I have the feeling that keeping contact will keep
them happy, at least for a while longer. Anyway, here it is.
"DO NOT SPEAK NOT SPEAK OF THINGS DO NOT SPEAK OF THE
THINGS YOU SAW IN THE LANDFILL FILLED LAND WITH SPRINGS AND
ROTTING PAPER DO NOT SPEAK OF THE MAN IN THE CHAIR BOUND IN THE
CHAIR DO NOT SPEAK OR WE WILL TAKE YOUR MOUTH."
There was an attachment, a .exe file. I thought about deleting
it, but if they had wanted to erase the data on my computer they
could have, so a virus wouldn't make any sense. When I ran the
program, my screen went black except for the words, "OPEN
THE CAN."
I had no idea what they meant, then I remembered those cans of
Pork and Beans I just stacked. I'll open it and tell you if
anything's up.
---
Thor's House of Recalcitrancy. Home of Videogame Lookalikes.
http://thor.mirtna.org/ |
| From: gothor | Posted:
1/24/2003 9:18:35 PM | Message Detail |
I held one up to my ear and
shook the can of Pork and Beans. It sounded all wrong, like
there was something... large stuffed inside. I grabbed a can
opener and with shaking hands opened it. The sight of the
contents made me feel dizzy and sick. For in the can was not
pork and beans, but a potato, rotting and twisting in the can,
the roots sprouting from it writhing as if they were alive. I
dropped the can and ran to find my dad, who had a flashlight.
Together we came back and looked under the desk. The thing was
nowhere in sight. But there was a slimy trail leading from under
the desk to the air vent, which was ripped to shreads.
I could probably fit inside the ventilation system, I'm small
enough. Dad doesn't want me to go, but the thought of that thing
squirming through the bomb shelter ruined all feelings of safety
we had. What do you guys think I should do?
---
Thor's House of Recalcitrancy. Home of Videogame Lookalikes.
http://thor.mirtna.org/ |
| From: T U S Valentine | Posted:
1/24/2003 9:19:31 PM | Message Detail |
LOL
---
You gotta pay your taxes man! Or else they'll take away your
friggin bling bling! ~ Dave Grohl
.,† Z€RØ ØR Ї€ †,. |
| From: picano | Posted:
1/24/2003 9:32:06 PM | Message Detail |
Why is it that i seem to
have seen this topic before.....
and it dealt with mr potato head
(nope no sarcasm here, really)
---
Nick at Nite becomes.... HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHY CHANNEL
VincentDeath655 in responce to CNs AdultSwim isnt very adult |
| From: Ghost4800 | Posted:
1/24/2003 9:37:24 PM | Message Detail |
LOL
---
*Ghost9418* alternate account |
| From: gothor | Posted:
1/24/2003 9:38:22 PM | Message Detail |
The agents said "Mr.
Potato Head". potatos, dirt, garbage, it's all tied
together somehow. I have a few theories, about origin and decay,
what they will do with our bodies when we die, the
unspeakable monsters they will cultivate, but there's no time to
explain. I can hear sounds echoing through the air vents,
strange screams and thumps, sounds too loud for something of
that size. I think it's growing. There's not much time.
Dad gave me his flashlight and a french fry slicer.
I'm going in.
---
Thor's House of Recalcitrancy. Home of Videogame Lookalikes.
http://thor.mirtna.org/ |
| From: gunghoguns | Posted:
1/24/2003 9:39:56 PM | Message Detail |
LOL!!!xxxorz!!! this is
funny stuff you are teh funny guy!
you make me giggle and shoot milk out my nose becuase of teh
funny!!!$67%*^%&^%$#&%!%6!&$&!^%!*^!$!^!%$%^&$(*!%E*!^
---
go to www.freewebs.com/sprite_comics for more information
about what I just said. |
| From: Masamune111489 | Posted: 1/24/2003 10:53:21 PM | Message Detail |
Oh man, my ribs are aching.
---
Open your eves, your soul is weak!
-voice in my head. |
| From: waste
space spider | Posted: 1/24/2003
11:29:09 PM | Message Detail |
Son...we in way have not
tapped into your computer or have you witnessed Project
Tater-Tots...Yes...go about...::potatoe falls out of pocket::
How did that get there? ::RUNS::
---
How come everyone has a freaking signature but me!
www.webofthespider.cjb.net |
| From: Nhoj | Posted: 1/24/2003 11:32:23 PM | Message Detail |
| Huh huh, you spelt potato
wrong. *Snort* |
| From: waste
space spider | Posted: 1/24/2003
11:35:35 PM | Message Detail |
Tomatoe/Ketchup its the same
difference
---
How come everyone has a freaking signature but me!
www.webofthespider.cjb.net |
| From: TheGoldenOne777 | Posted: 1/24/2003 11:36:15 PM | Message Detail |
| I think your a liar, period. |
| From: waste
space spider | Posted: 1/25/2003 5:44:32
PM | Message Detail |
Bump...
---
How come everyone has a freaking signature but me!
www.webofthespider.cjb.net |
| From: Coconutmonkey545 | Posted: 1/25/2003 5:52:04 PM | Message Detail |
gothor, you have opened the
can, now open your door,now we are watching
---
all men live, very few truly die
-arthas war craft 3 |
| From: Sephiroth
Zeta | Posted: 1/25/2003 6:27:44 PM | Message
Detail |
this is funny, keep posting
gothar
---
My sword can even slice a fruit-cake |
| From: Navck | Posted: 1/25/2003 6:37:36 PM | Message Detail |
What happened? Is he ok
still?
---
If theres anyone out there to get me, you have to agree with my
dual AMG-15 assault rifles first. Of corse there might be a
slight problem. -Navck |
| From: gothor | Posted: 1/25/2003 9:09:28 PM | Message Detail |
I never thought I'd make it
out of there alive. But somehow, I did. Maybe somebody's
watching out for me. After what happened, I'm starting to think
so. I'm at a library right now, using a fake name. There's no
telling how long I can get away with this, but I'll stay online
as long as possible. My story must be told before they can
silence me for good.
My dad tied some twine around my ankle so I could find my way
back. I took off my jacket so I'd fit in the air ducts. Almost
immediately I regretted it: Just wearing a teeshirt, I felt
unprotected, open to attack. And all I had was a french fry
slicer. What was I thinking? I should have asked Dad for a gun.
Whatever it hunted in that clausterophobic maze, it wasn't a
potato. Not any more.
I could hear it moving somewhere ahead, but it was impossible to
tell how far -- or how close -- because of the echoes. It was
dark, except for my flashlight, and the vents were clotted with
cobwebs and dust bunnies. It could be hiding just around the
corner for all I knew. I crawled for what felt like hours,
until, suddenly, the sounds stopped.
Something was wrong. Very wrong. I looked back down the vent and
called for my father. No reply. I gave the twine a couple of
tugs, his sign to tug back. He didn't. I was really worried so I
started to reel the twine in. After ten or fifteen feet, it came
to a sudden stop. Something had chewed it in half. Then I
realized that the ventilation system was a complete circle
around the bomb shelter. It had reached the end and.. my father!
I twisted around, barely managing to turn even though I'm skinny
and pretty short. I crawled as fast as I could, retracing my
steps to the opening. "Dad?" No reply. There was slime
will little globs of white flesh everywhere, a trail of the
stuff leading out of the bottom floor to the living area. I
followed it, sick with fear. "Dad?!" He was seated in
his easy chair, his back to me. His head was twitching as if he
was having a siezure, his arms raised to his mouth. I ran to his
side and screamed at what I saw.
He was gorging on the thing, its roots twisting like tentacles.
Green ooze dribbled down his chest. At first he didn't see me,
not until the potato opened its eyes, each as black and inhuman
as a rats. Then he looked at me, as if for the first time, and
his words will haunt me till
Damnt! They found me. The stupid librarian is pointing them
right to me.
Gothor out.
---
Thor's House of Recalcitrancy. Home of Videogame Lookalikes.
http://thor.mirtna.org/ |
| From: picano | Posted: 1/25/2003 9:09:58 PM | Message Detail |
I think we have jsut
finished throwing potato heads at his house.
---
Nick at Nite becomes.... HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHY CHANNEL
VincentDeath655 in responce to CNs AdultSwim isnt very adult |
| From: Shadow
Ryoko | Posted: 1/25/2003 10:14:17 PM | Message
Detail |
"Who are they,
dad?"
"I don't know, son. They're men. In black."
Lmao!That just seemed particularly funny to me lol.
---
Anime Law #34,Second Corollary - Indecent Invulnerability
Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage. |
| From: Nhoj | Posted: 1/25/2003 10:16:10 PM | Message Detail |
| Stay AWAY from those BLUE
POTATOES!!!!!!! |
| From: gothor | Posted: 1/25/2003 10:18:52 PM | Message Detail |
Gothor here. If you missed
my last message, it's at the very end of the third page. Read it
or none of this will make sense. Not that it makes much sense
anyway.
I'm hidden out my friend Joe's house now. When the Men who were
in Garbage spotted me, I ran for the back door which triggered
the alarm, which was suddenly cut off seconds after I ran. I
guess they feel the local police will only get in their way. One
less thing to worry about.
I'm exhausted, metally and physically drained. But before my
head hits the keyboard, I'm going to tell you what happened in
the bomb shelter. (Joe doesn't know any of this, I'm scared that
if I tell him, he'll end up like the man in the chair, his mouth
removed to keep him from ever telling his story.)
My dad looked up from the alien creature and said,
"Eat it."
"N-no!" I cried.
"Eat the potato," he said, his voice slurring like a
zombie.
"No. You eat it."
He blinked. So did the dozens of eyes on the potato.
"But... I'm already eating it."
"Well," I said, thinking fast, "we can't very
well BOTH eat the potato. You go ahead, big guy. I'll... uh...
grab another one from the basement."
He looked down at his living meal, which seemed to nod in
approvement.
I ran from that room of madness, fearing that any minute the man
who used to be my father would follow. But he didn't, and I got
away.
For all I know, he's still eating it. Eating the potato.
Gothor out.
---
Thor's House of Recalcitrancy. Home of Videogame Lookalikes.
http://thor.mirtna.org/ |
| From: cloudsbusterblade | Posted: 1/25/2003 11:42:50 PM | Message Detail |
Well if any of this is true
then sorry to you and good luck, but how could you be online in
a bomb shelter.
---
Nirvana Sublime Bob Marley Hendrix Experience Korn Cream Santana
AFI Led Zeppelin The Beatles pink floyd cky metallica they're
all good. |
| From: East
Of Eden | Posted: 1/26/2003 7:05:28 AM | Message
Detail |
lmao!!!!! this is the bez
post ever!! esp your last message, the conversation was 100%!!!
---
'I Don't Wanna Die, But I Ain't Keen On Living Either.'-Robbie
Williams |
| From: gus2k3 | Posted: 1/26/2003 7:50:54 AM | Message Detail |
We have a new Edgar Allan
Poe right here!
---
Can God make a rock so big even he can't lift it?
Think about it. |
| From: Game
Weasel | Posted: 1/26/2003 8:14:55 AM | Message
Detail |
I knew it..
The potato people are taking back what's theirs!!
---
Only reach for the stars if you are on the payroll of NASA. |
| From: l33t
m4st3r | Posted: 1/26/2003 8:46:40 AM | Message
Detail |
I think this is great! Can't
wait to read the rest
---
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall
down. No problem. |
| From: loosenukes | Posted: 1/26/2003 9:47:28 AM | Message Detail |
this is becoming more
pathetic each time he posts
---
I find random guessing works. |
| From: Myfestivus
Two | Posted: 1/26/2003 10:31:59 AM | Message
Detail |
CLOSE THIS TOPIC
---
*Why did the dinosaurs die?* -Because you touch yourself at
night- |
| From: zerafool | Posted: 1/26/2003 11:15:46 AM | Message Detail |
NO.
The strange thing is I eat about 2-3 baked potatoes a day.
<_<
>_> |
| From: blue
bomber 09 | Posted: 1/26/2003 12:33:28 PM | Message
Detail |
why should he close it? You
dont have to read it if you dont want to. (Dont say "Its
stupid or something like that cuz some people like it")
---
|[][]||[]|[][][][]|||[]|||[]|[][]|[]|[]||[]|[]||[]|||[]
gamertag: uncouth 09 |
| From: Super
Saiyan Bowser | Posted: 1/26/2003 3:49:00
PM | Message Detail |
Thanks. Now I'm gonna dream
about potatoes.
---
Milk, does a body good. Except when it doesn't...-Evilconqueso |
| From: GreenEarth
CO Eagle | Posted: 1/26/2003 4:02:46 PM | Message
Detail |
LMFAO LMFAO
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Man you are the BEST man
I salute you! you r l337 dude!
Now..im afraid to eat potatoes
---
GreenEarth_____-The only easy day was yesterday-
________________E a g l e |
| From: loosenukes | Posted: 1/26/2003 6:46:04 PM | Message Detail |
just always carry a potato
peeler around with you
---
I find random guessing works. |
| From: This
is Jack | Posted: 1/26/2003 8:56:47 PM | Message
Detail |
Dude! Post again! We need to
know your alive, and not Potato Gother!
---
Cats always land on four feet, toast always lands butter side
down. Strap toast to a cat, it will hover in a state of quantum
indecision. - Weasel |
| From: Vyyk | Posted: 1/26/2003 9:13:54 PM | Message Detail |
Guys. Gothor KNOWS that you don't think this is true. He doesn't
intend to make you think it is. It's just a very bizarre story.
The way he is writing it implies that it's meant to be funny. So
don't have a cow, man.
---
Hello, God? Is this heaven? . . . or am I in television? |
| From: gta3lunatic9 | Posted: 1/26/2003 9:15:33 PM | Message Detail |
wow! this is actually a good
story. u kinda went a little to far on the eating the potato
part though. all u gotta do is chop it up.
---
Dad gummed vampires done sacrificed another dog der again.. |
| From: geniusmj | Posted: 1/26/2003 9:22:59 PM | Message Detail |
This, children, is why drugs
are bad.
---
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, then
to open your mouth and remove all doubt." |
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