Some Damn Good Quotes
|"Of course, those
feminists who minimize men's problems don't want to hear
about it. After all, they've gotten used to having the
stage of public attention all to themselves for the past
25 years and they certainly aren't inclined to admit that
perhaps they don't have the monopoly on suffering. The
argument of these critics seems to be "My pain is
bigger than yours." Never mind penis envy; these
women suffer from _victim envy."
"Can You Hear Me Whining? The Case in Defense of Masculism" by Jeffrey Seeman
|"Perhaps the most
difficult step in nurturing male emotional evolution will
be for women to come from a place of appreciating men.
... To throw off the old rags of discontent and put on
the ball gown of gratitude will mean that instead of
endlessly harping on men because they don't meet all our
needs, we acknowledge our great indebtedness to them.
It's scary for us to be aware of how much we actually do owe men. It's like opening a trap door to our own vulnerability, to what, in asking men to protect us, we have exacted from them.
Strangely enough, we're also afraid to see the improvement when men do change, because then we'll be indebted in a whole new way. Not only have men done what men have always done for women; they've tried to do even more, had the courage to live in the sex-role chaos that women have created. In this sense men truly are heroes; they deserve our undying love, our conscious intelligent gratitude. Because for a man to give up being a man in the old sense is the greatest male courage of all.
Gratitude is the ultimate female emotion for it embodies the ultimate feminine stance of total receptivity, the state of spiritual surrender. To realize that without what men have given us, life would not only be not so sweet, so convenient and protected, but, that in fact, we may not have survived at all, that is the state of very deep vulnerability indeed.
In this way, even women don't want to be feminine. It's too frightening to be aware of the vast dimension of our own need ...
Being grateful would totally and categorically change the chemistry of male-female relationships. For starters, it would immediately bring women down from the shabby pedestals of our passivity-oriented power, the power of the underdog, slave, and martyr, and acknowledge that men have pleased us and desire to please us.
... So long as we judge we are locked in the dungeon of self-righteousness; only when we are grateful are we open to receive. Gratitude is ... infinitely more complex, demanding, and ultimately rewarding than the ... anger resentment, and regret women have always occupied vis á vis men."
"Gratitude" from _The Men We Never Knew by Daphne Rose Kingma; Conari Press (1993) p 235 http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0943233666/menwebA (ellipses added)
|"When a man calls
for the police because his wife or girlfriend is hitting
him, with encouragement from pop feminists the police
will remove him because, so the reasoning goes, he poses
a greater threat: being male, he's bigger, stronger and
But when girls want to join boys' football teams, long-time critic of male violence Gloria Allred goes on FOX News (November 19, 1999) to tell the world girls are as big, bad and buff as the boys. Typical: they want it both ways."
Rod van Mechelen, "Things that Make You Go, 'Hmmmm' " http://www.backlash.com/content/hmmm/1999/hmmm1299.htm
|"Why not a men's
movement? When a workhorse rears up on its hind legs it's
a frightening sight to behold. Is there something that
women find similarly scary about men standing up for
themselves? What do women think they have to lose?
Precisely what do women believe the men's movement
threatens to take from them that was truly theirs to
Raj Kumar Singh http://www.backlash.com/content/gender/votemale/raj.html
|"The primary reason
the men's rights and equalitarian movements have not
achieved the support and success of the pop feminist
movement is because although we have noted and criticized
the actions of the pop feminists, we have not hated them
though they hate us. As Eric Hoffer noted in _The True
Believer_, social movements can exist without belief in a
God, but never without belief in a Devil (hate). Perhaps
it's time the pop feminists stopped hating us, lest many
of our less enlightened and more injured fellows begin
Rod van Mechelen, "Things that Make You Go, 'Hmmmm' " http://www.backlash.com/content/hmmm/1999/hmmm1199.htm
|"Women invent rules,
manipulate men to obey them, and in this way dominate men
-- but in no way apply the rules to themselves. The
`weaker' sex is not bound by honor, justice, or fairness.
A woman's right to change her mind means her right to
change the rules....."
Esther Vilar, _The Manipulated Man
|"These facts [of
greater risks to males] do not fit into the Women's Lib
framework, and so tend to be ignored. By contrast,
women's weaknesses and diseases are trumpeted and somehow
made part of their social condition. "Nervous
diseases, painful menstruation, unwanted pregnancies,
accidents of all kinds are all evidence of women's energy
How many women were destroyed by menstruation last year? Not many --but many more men that women died early in life of accidents, suicide, heart disease, cancer or respiratory diseases, all diseases that reflect the greater stresses that men undergo."
Arianna Stassinopoulos, _The Female Woman_, hb., pages 108-9; Random House, 1973. The "painful menstruation" quotation is from feminist author Germaine Greer. Brackets are mine.
|"There will always
be an unfortunate woman in Kuala Lumpur or Vladivostok
whose plight demands immediate sisterly solidarity. A
feminist like this will always claim to oppose anti-male
hatred and anti-male violence -- and she'll never run out
of excuses for condoning or ignoring them when they
happen. What if you said to a feminist like this one:
"While many men are still dying in on-the-job
accidents, I find it hard to get too worked up over
sexual harassment or the alleged 'glass ceiling.' "?
You can bet that feminist would excoriate you for not
caring enough about the plight of women."
from the article, "Feminists Are Not Your Allies" in Per's MANifesto
|"In one 1988 study,
college students were presented with several hypothetical
vignettes describing the violent gang-rape of a
hitchhiker, conducted at gunpoint. The scenarios were
worded identically, but in some cases, the victim was
female and the attackers were make; in others, the
genders were reversed. When the victim was male, he was
considered far more likely to have encouraged or
initiated the episode and to have enjoyed it..."
Kate Fillion, _Lip Service : the truth about women's darker side in love, sex, and friendship_, New York: HarperCollins (1996) p. 239
|"Not only is society
tolerant of low-level violence from women, but men are
instructed not to retaliate. A "real" man
cannot be hurt by a woman, because "she hits like a
girl" and he is supposed to "take it like a
Kate Fillion, _Lip Service : the truth about women's darker side in love, sex, and friendship_, New York: HarperCollins (1996) p. 231
|When men don't listen to
women, pop feminists lament women's frustration and
proclaim to the world that men oppress women; but when
women don't listen to men, pop feminists celebrate men's
frustration and proclaim to the world that men oppress
Rod van Mechelen, Things that make you go, "hmmm" http://www.backlash.com/content/hmmm/2001/hmmm0301.htm
|"A man who tells
true things about women is considered misogynistic while
a woman who slings sexist slurs at men is considered
Rod van Mechelen, Things that make you go, "hmmm" http://www.backlash.com/content/hmmm/1999/hmmm0499.htm
|"A common response
when women are criticized for their sexual looks, is
"rape is not sex, but violence." Nonsense. Of
course, it's sex. And violence. It's ironic that only
when women's behavior is questioned, is rape considered
non-sexual. In all other cases, it is considered sex.
After all, most all of feminism's solutions to sexual
abuse problems involve sexuality (i.e., male-oriented
sexuality) -- from censoring Playboy, to castrating
"offenders." However when women's sexuality is
questioned, suddenly rape is not sex, but violence. Why?
Because women need to maintain female sexuality as it is,
because it is their base of power."
The Sexual Sell : Is sex overvalued, or too cheap? by Wade Balder published in _The Backlash!_, July 1996 http://www.backlash.com/content/gender/1996/7-jul96/me07.html
|"One of the most
effective ways I have seen women using their power over
men is by shaming men....."
Char Tosi, founder of Woman Within. Quoted by Jack Kammer in _Good Will Toward Men hb; St. Martin's Press (1994).
|Found and Lost: a modern
She found herself becoming attracted to him.
She found herself unable to take her eyes off of him.
She found herself thinking about him all the time.
She found herself spending all her free time with him.
She found herself dreaming of being his wife.
She found herself wanting to be the mother of his children.
She found herself married to him.
She found herself the mother of three kids.
She divorced him, saying, I have to find myself.
|"If this were really a world designed for men's benefit, would men account for three out of four workplace injuries and 96% of workplace deaths? If the medical establishment were really preoccupied with male health, would the average man be dying six years younger than the average woman? If it were true that men as a group encounter few significant obstacles, would they really be committing suicide four times as often as women?"|
|"Feminism - a
movement that claimed to be concerned about inequality
but which has studiously ignored inequalities that favour
women. Thus, women have demanded equal pay but not equal
risk in the workplace."
Donna Laframboise "A Journal of Their Own" National Post, March 23, 1999
|"What evidence do I
have that women rule the world? Take a look at the world
and ask yourself how it would be different if men were
REALLY in charge. Look at the things that men want most,
then check to see if the world is organised to provide
those things or to limit them."
Scott Adams, _The Dilbert Future_, page 109
|"It's nice to be a
nice guy. It's easier to get along, you don't have to
shoulder the burden of being solely responsible for the
future, you can be a partner rather than the "head
of household." But that ain't how the species is
wired. Most women want a man, and they want him deep down
in their chromosomes where no amount of social activism
Rod van Mechelen, "Things that Make You Go, 'Hmmmm' " http://www.backlash.com/content/hmmm/1999/hmmm0999.htm
freedom from hunger, are all assumed by women today.
[T]hey have no idea what it took to create it. They
assume that they are entitled to it, and are wounded and
oppressed if they do not have it given to them. Now that
material expectations have escalated... the vast majority
of loving men are simply invisible to most women."
"Love: the Real Kind" by Zed the Zen Priest http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/3951/reallove.html
|"Steinem, trying to
defend the hiring of female firefighters, said,
"It's better to drag them out... I mean, you know,
we need to look sensibly here at these jobs and what they
really require, and not just some idea of what macho
is." Some of my students laughed when she said that."
Men, Women and Sex Differences: The Attitudes of Three Feminists - Gloria Steinem, Gloria Allred and Bella Abzug_, by Russell Eisenman, McNeese State University http://www.theabsolute.net/misogyny/eisenman.html
|"As feminism has
often pointed out, the standards of the dominant group
become the standards of society. We can use this
principle to again show how women are in charge....
Commitment is held in high esteem by our society - it is
a lofty, noble value. Sex, with the exception of
committed sex, is seen as sleazy, dirty, undignified. In
short: commitment good, sex bad. ...
These ideas have serious consequences for social relationships in general and marriage in particular. ... Consider, for example, that women usually marry up. If women were marrying for love, this wouldn't happen. It's financial/status objectification. Or consider the phrase, "she got him." The meaning of the phrase is marriage, commitment. Now consider, "he got her." The meaning of this phrase is sex. No wonder the myth of female moral superiority is so prevalent!"
The sexism of feminist moralism_ by Wade Balder http://www.backlash.com/content/gender/1996/6-jun96/me06.html
|"Isn't it somewhat
inconsistent to suggest that fathers are irrelevant to
single motherhood, yet in two-parent families, they must
be involved in childrearing on a fifty-fifty basis?"
Karen Lehrman, _Lipstick Proviso
|"One of the dilemmas
for men doing the self-disclosure gig with women, which
isn't all bad, can be that you really can't talk about
your current difficulties because some women will tell
you to stop whining about it like a wimp. Or they may
just think that, which can be worse. This simply reflects
their need for a big, strong, imperturbable Man. It's
hard to play the protector and defender role while being
fully vulnerable. Probably even impossible."
"Friends" written by the Martian Bachelor Scientist http://www.martianbachelor.com/Science/DateFraud.html
|"Every man has his
secret sorrows, which the world knows not; and oftentimes
we call a man cold when he is only sad."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
|"When women launch
into their barrages of complaining, language itself
becomes an instrument of attack instead of the road to
union that women insist it could be. "Everything
would be better if only you'd talk," we keep saying
and then verbally bash him for the feeble attempts he
So it is that instead of being a medium a man feels comfortable in exploring, words become the very weapons with which women keep men closed off and defensive."
"The Female Conspiracy" in _The Men We Never Knew by Daphne Rose Kingma, Conari Press (1993) p. 80.
|"Women, too, wanted
to keep their domain to themselves. Being mothers and
queens of single-family domains gave them their sense of
femininity. ... They affixed ribbons and lace to its most
desirable attributes. Rather than proclaiming their lot
in life to be chock full of magnificent privileges of
which men were unworthy, they played down its
desirability. ... "You want to take care of stinky
diapers?" women shrewdly asked. "What big
strong, smart, aggressive, powerful, potentially
well-paid man like you would want to be stuck here taking
care of snot-nosed little kids and stinky diapers?"
(Thus, the female strategy was at least in part
responsible for the devaluing of women's work.
... If women's work is so much drudgery, men are wondering, why are women clinging to it so tenaciously? Why are female physicians and lawyers working only part-time so they can be with their kids? Why do we hear of women working flex-time when they could be pulling down full-time paychecks? Why did women work so hard for Family Leave? Why are women fighting men so strenuously for custody in divorce cases? Is it because...? No, it couldn't be! But, maybe, yes, maybe it is. Maybe it's because what they've been playing down all these years is really something quite wonderful indeed!"
"Male-Bashing: Why Now?" by Jack Kammer (1994) http://users.erols.com/jkammer/bashing.html (May 16, 2002)
|"The power to create
commerce, build factories, and establish spaces safe from
the harsher forces of nature, is the power of
civilization. It is the power to live.
Because [pop feminists] do not understand, they envy the creative and economic power men earn, and so promote the idea men have all the power. If men have all the power, then men must be responsible for everything that goes wrong. Consequently, their power must be taken away. And that is precisely what pop-feminists are doing."
Rod van Mechelen, "Power" http://www.backlash.com/book/power.html
|"Most women throw
away more real love than most men get in their lifetimes.
Sadly, (the entitlement) fiction has been so well
promoted and publicised that the majority of women have
fallen for it: not just the extremists. Nothing is more
indicative of the paradox of today's notions of love than
the woman who complains bitterly about all the
shortcomings of men, makes her hostility and contempt for
them clear on a regular basis, dismisses their attempts
to show love in the way that they know best, then cannot
figure out why she cannot get one of these awful
creatures to fall head over heels "in love"
"Love: the Real Kind" by Zed the Zen Priest http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/3951/reallove.html
|"What men don't get,
and what feminists would never admit, is that their goal
is power over men."
Maggie Galagher of the NY Post
|"The men still
arguing with women are the ones still trying to reach
understanding. They are the ones who still believe in
women. The rest have quit talking to women completely. Or
rather, they have quit listening to women while they rag
"Why are men so angry?" by Zed the Zen Priest http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/3951/maleanger.html
|"In the first place,
the female militants claim that marriage is a diabolical
institution by which husbands enslave their wives and
force them to rear children and do housework. But let us
consider: in the great majority of the cases, who is it
that insists on marriage, the man or the woman? Everyone
knows the answer. And if this great desire for marriage
is the result of male brainwashing, as the Womens
Libs contend, then how is it that so many men resist
marriage, resist this prospect of their lifelong seat
upon the throne of domestic 'tyranny'?"
|"Were women to
'unsex' themselves by claiming equality with men, they
would become the most hateful, heathen and disgusting of
beings, and would surely perish without male
Queen Victoria, 1870