Prologue

I once trusted in such things as love and magic. I truly believed that nothing would harm my charmed family. When my beautiful and innocent sister was born, I thought nothing could destroy my fantasy world.

I never realized that my only true love would be my destruction, neither did I realize my life would crumble.

I remember my lessons about ‘True Magic.’ “The ones whose blood flows thickest with life. The pure and the kind, there could be none better serving their people.”

What happened, I wonder, for everything to deteriorate so quickly?

I have many people I would like to blame; the texts that proved false; my parents who indulged a little girl too much; a child who turned evil; the man who began it all. However, I believe the true illness was believing in a fantasy.

Trust. That was my downfall, trust. I trusted my sister to see through his falsehoods; I trusted my parents to be stronger, and I trusted fate to make everything right again.

I lay here knowing my end will never come, and I wish to cry with this knowledge. My tears are all washed away and my heart has turned cold.

Does it matter that I use to love? Does it matter that I saved so much? No, I still have so much to atone for, and, yet, I know I never shall.

This will hopefully be my last entry as I will hopefully pass away in my new battle, but I doubt it. For, my hell will never release me.

I, Idaia Defelu, Crown-heir of Ogeras, Mother of Ogeraskto Darshina, First-Advisor to Kaitara Defelu, Morning Rise, and Barer of Daggers pledge my life to destroying the evil I both molded and created, and, now, I wonder am I that evil?

roughly 6 hrs. light and 9 hrs. dark per day. There are five months with 49 days per month

The moons pull apart

End of winter-spring

The 1^st and 2^nd eclipse

Summer

The 2^nd and 3^rd eclipse

Early fall

3^rd and 4^th eclipse

Late fall

The moons line up

Winter

Part 1: Kayline

Entry 1

Jazl 182²⁷

Fall 42, 185

My sister, what joy she brings to me. A young flower blooming in Queyk’s darkest hour. I had no idea how much pleasure a single wildflower could give within a bare wasteland. Truly, no diamond could shine greater.

Kayline has rich golden hair and a smile that could melt a sorcerer’s heart. She has been born but two years ago with glittering green eyes that shine like emeralds yet unpolished. She is tiny, a flicker of a flame, yet hers burns with love and joy. How much I wish a child could remain so for all eternity.

Entry 2

Queyk 184³⁰

Winter 30, 184

I know I have not written in a while, I shall try to be more conscientious of this. Mother has told me all royalty should keep a diary. This way, records of our lives will forever exist. I do not understand this, for I will forever exist, thus is the nature of True Magic blood. But I will do as she says.

Nothing has changed though. I have become a better student as it pertains to ancient history lessons and writing, however I’m still an adequate dancer.

Kayline, however, has just begun etiquette lessons. Father believes that even a princess as young as three should know how to behave in a royal function. She is a natural, so we’re told. Her mannerisms are impeccable and she has a sprightly gait to her step. I truly believe she will be a true beauty and outshine me.

Entry 3

Queyk 185⁴²

Winter 42, 185

Kayline is a true heir. Father has already begun in finding her a husband of proper nobility.

She has begun flittering around the young guards. For all her five years, my sister knows how to use her charm.

To speak truthfully, I must say I hold some jealousy towards her. Mother and Father see her as an angel. Pure and innocent. I too see this, for how else can any child be perfect?

Kayline had asked me to create a wreath of wildflowers the other morning from the bright yellow daisies young in blossom. When she wrapped it around her head, a butterfly touched one gently and flew off almost the moments it had landed… leaving my dear sister in a fit of giggles.

I cannot say I have ever seem my Kayline cry. The most was a tiny pout from missing out on mother’s ball. She was told to sleep, yet she is just a child, thirsting for excitement and always keeping her dreams and fantasies flying in the morning light.

However much my dear sister wished to join us, mother was firm until father gave in.

Oh, my studies are still going well. I finally made my dance teacher smile.

Entry 4

Queyk 185⁴³

Winter 43, 185

Kayline scared the life out of me today.

As our lessons were scheduled and taken place, she disappeared on me unknowingly. Shashil asked me where she was, yet I was mute and my mind in a panic.

My heart flit on a beat or two of worry. She is only but three, and as her elder, responsibility fell unto me to protect her.

My mind raced through all possible outcomes from a raid to a full scale abduction.

We were relieved to find her in the kitchen, hassling cook for a treat.

I ran up to scold her but soon found my arms wrapped around her fragile body. Forgetting all ills, I kissed her tiny cheeks.

Entry 5

Zyki 186⁰⁶

Spring 06, 186

My darling sister fell ill today. I told Shashil I could not make it to lessons today so I could tend her. She was naturally upset with me, but I was shocked when she said I had other issues than my sister! Why, she even took the matter to mother, but, I am grateful daddy understood.

I am beginning to feel weary already, so I shall go to sleep, even if it is only light dusk.

Goodnight.

Entry 6

Zyki 186³⁸

Spring 38, 186

I do not understand, diary. I woke up this morning with mother weeping by my bed.

She mentioned poison. Who would poison me?

Even worse, Kayline still is not well. Mother told me it was spoiled drink, but she still is not better.

Everything is so confusing.

Entry 7

Byroug 186¹³

Summer 13, 186

Mom pulled me aside today. She said I have to pay more attention during my lessons. I am tired though, tired of knowing my future is predetermined for me.

I am thirteen now, but mom says I am old enough to take the throne if anything happens to them. She also told me I must marry soon, but I don’t want to. I am forced into a position that my lead to my exile.

Mother told me she will hold a party to formally introduce me to society. After which, I have to start looking for my husband. I don’t understand though. She never married young. In fact, no queen of Ogeras marries until she’s well and twenty. Why must I?

Entry 8

Kjye 186¹

Autumn 1, 186

Everyone is excited. I cannot help but feel annoyed. Kayline is jumping with news of the ball, and all I feel is a void. I can’t help but feel jealous. She has no pressure forced upon her shoulders and never shall.

I met a young man the other day. He is amazing, and I know he’ll go far, but I know that I can not be with him. He is from no royal blood, and is a guard of all things!

Entry 9

Queyk 186⁴⁶

Winter 46, 186

Another tailor is coming for measurements of my sister and me.

Mother is determined to find a perfect match for me and, perhaps, Kayline.

Kayline is so anxious, but she does not have the knowledge that this is the first step to the throne.

Entry 10

Byroug 186⁴⁷

Summer 13, 186

I am so excited, diary. I am to meet him tonight in the garden.

I an scared too.

Entry 11

Queyk 186⁴⁸

Winter 48, 186

What am I to do? I met Kayl last night and we strolled through the garden. He is amazing, diary. He held my hand and swore to me that he’ll be my protector through all things.

I turn 14 in a few days, and I am at a marriageable age for a future queen, but I don’t want to. All that will make me happy is being with Kayl. But, I know that I can not abdicate the throne.

Kayline is too kind to rule. She would never be strong enough to deal with the hardships. So, I must rule.

I am to meet him in two days, and I am fluttering inside. I know that sounds funny, but I can’t explain it; I only know that I love him.

Entry 12

Queyk 186⁴⁹

Winter 49, 186

I am so excited I could burst. Can all of this be real?

Kayline asked me why I’m so happy today, and I shouldn’t have told her really, but I’m just so happy! I want everyone to know it!

My darling sister told me I should invite him to the ball; she doesn’t understand, though.

I am so happy and my heart is spinning. I can’t explain it, nor do I understand it. Everything is so blissfully confusing.

Entry 13

Zyki 187⁰¹

Spring 01, 187

What happened?

It had started out so perfect. Kayl and I walked along the newly budding flowers, hand in hand.

Then, he led me to the pavilion. I thought I would faint, my heart was pounding so! He leaned over and asked if he could kiss me.

It was so wonderful; I can’t believe I love him so much.

I wish I could invite him to the ball in three days, but there’s no reason I could give to convince mother.

Oh, and Kayline was wondering the gardens last night too. I told her that it was too chilled outside since I did not want her to see Kayl. Not that I’m worried exactly, but we had kissed but moments before.

Entry 14

Zyki 187⁰³

Spring 03, 187

Shashil told me I seem to flighty today and that I must concentrate on my lessons. She told me that I will have many more balls and formal events as such, so while my excitement is understandable, I must concentrate.

Shashil does not understand though. It’s not this ball; it’s Kayl.

He snuck into my room today and left a small box on my vanity table. It opened into the most beautiful locket I’ve ever witnessed. I hugged it close to me cherishing the polished gold.

I wish I never had to go to this ball else I could stroll with Kayl in our glorious garden.

Entry 15

Zyki 187⁰⁴

Spring 04, 187

The ball was amazing! I realize that I did not want to go, but I loved it.

Most prominent lords and ladies bid for my darling sister’s attention, as well as mine, to show another young handsome son.

Draped in a deep velvet dress, I felt like a queen. Kayline looked like a goddess in her perfectly fitting satin gown sparkling with a silver tint and green vine trimming that wove in golden leaves.

Kayline’s glorious hair was pinned up with green leave clips dipped in golden edging. The ends of hair were curled tightly like little sausages, matching her sweet resolve.

My darling sister reminded me of a little fairy as she flitted down the dance floor and flirted so charmingly.

Father introduced a young man to me. His name is Philiaskto. Father said he is the son of the Lord Askto, the most prominent in the kingdom. In fact, rumors state that his family were the original barers of the throne.

Philiaskto was kind to me. Although, he can not compare to Kayl. He seemed to agree with me to death, but he was a true gentleman.

He made me sick.

Philaskto seemed false… he never stopped the ‘yes princess’ or ‘no princess.’ He was too enthralled in a beauty I do not possess.

I brought him over to my sister. They were a perfect pair. A gentleman and an angel. I only hope I misjudged him.

Entry 16

Zyki 187²³

Spring 23, 187

Mother is becoming even more determined. She said the hope of our future rests on who I marry, and soon. When I asked her about it, she would not explain.

Philaskto came today to call on Kayline. Father was naturally annoyed from the new turn of events, but he accepted it once I told him she was much more worthy than me of his company. He nodded sadly, but said nothing.

Kayl and I decided to meet this evening; however, he’s becoming even more nervous, as am I. It seems as though someone is peering out through the distance. He held me close and kissed me. He said that he’s afraid we’ll be torn apart.

Entry 18

Kjye 187¹⁴

Autumn 14, 187

Philaskto is a cruel bastard! I see his truth now. He told me he’ll have Kayline now that he can’t have me, but he said something about not sacrificing.

He wants me dead. I see that now. And he wants my throne.

I will show Kayline the truth. We cannot allow him to be near her!

Entry 19

Kjye 187¹⁵

Autumn 15, 187

Father didn’t believe me! He said that I must become tolerant of Kayline’s fiancé. Fiance! I will stop him, I must!

Byroug, please help me to destroy him.

Entry 20

Zyki 188¹²

Spring 12, 188

I cannot allow Philaskto to marry Kayline. I can’t! She is so young, so naïve.

Kayl agrees with me, and he tells me to marry so that he shall never get the throne, but I cannot destroy our love like that.

I was rash, diary, and a bit stupid to give myself to him like that. But, I love him. He is my one, my only. Why is this all so difficult?