Vital Statistics
age: 28
famous for: the morning shift on radio station
Triple J, hosting the ABC-TV series The Glass House;
hosting the Melbourne Comedy Festival Gala Opening
marital status: single
lives: in Sydney, at Bondi
favourite hangs: cafes Brown Sugar
and The House of Soy in Bondi
star sign: aquarius
Sunday Telegraph, Sunday 24th March 2002
Wil Anderson, funny man
Text by Ute Junker
Q: What's in your fridge at the moment?
A bottle of sweet chilli sauce, some blackberry jam, somewhere between three and 12 beers - there's never more than 12, and when I get down to three, I know there needs to be more - and several forms of Coke - maybe a two-litre bottle, some 600ml bottles and a few cans. There's a bottle of vodka in the freezer.
Q: What's your favourite food these days?
There's a soy shake I get at The House Of Soy that's the business. It has date and banana and coconut and tastes like you're drinking straight banana bread. It's like licking cake mixture.
Q: Are you better at cooking or cleaning?
I'm actually quite anal about cleaning. I spend a lot of time arranging CD's into alphabetical order or in order of my favourite bands or arranging DVD's into ones that have directors' commentary or are wide-screen format. I don't cook at all. It's a food chain thing. There are so many people who are great cooks - what we need are consumers.
Q: What's the worst thing about living with you?
I live on my own, but if I did live with someone the worst thing probably would be that I'm a 15-year-old boy trapped in a 28-year-old man's body. I genuinely have the house I wanted when I was 15. I have a DVD player, two video players, two stereos, three TVs, PlayStation 2 and two computers. If someone said, "Have you got a frying pan?" the answer would be no. But if someone said, "Hey, you don't happen to have movie number four in the Planet Of The Apes series on DVD with director's commentary?" - well, my friend, I can help you out.
Q: What did you do before you became a comedian?
I spent three years working as a journalist in the Canberra press gallery. I actually graduated first in my course at uni. I got great marks in a degree I don't use at all. I think if you're going to waste something, you may as well waste something that you're really good at. I gave my parents that one moment of pride, so now the rest of my life can be a huge disappointment.
Q: How did you get into stand-up comedy?
I started about seven years ago. I'd quit journalism to write the great Australian novel, and I did what most 20-year-olds do when they decide they're going to write a book: I spent all my time drinking and trying to have sex with people. The one thing I didn't do is write - I didn't fit a lot of that in. I suddenly ran out of money and I decided that doing some stand-up would be a good way to see if the stuff in my book was funny. So, I had a go and did well enough that I decided I'd do it again.
Q: Who would you say is your ideal woman?
There's a shortlist. Winona Ryder is on it. I like the shoplifting thing. It gave her an edge. She needs a man like me - I'll steal stuff for her. Actually, I'd be happy to date anyone Johnny Depp's dated. In fact, I'd be pretty happy to date Johnny Depp. Australian actress Rose Byrne - she's such a spunk. Buffy. Although, to be honest, it's not so much Buffy as Joss Whedon, who writes the show. So, maybe I could date Winona and Joss could be my best friend. And Johnny Depp would come over occasionally and we'd get a bit kinky.
Q: Do you have any recurring dreams?
Last night, I dreamt that I was meant to be going on Hey, Hey, It's Saturday to sing a version of Christina Aguilera's Genie In A Bottle and I was going to play guitar and sing it acoustically. I was just about to go on stage when I remembered that I don't know how to play guitar. Luckily, Paul Dempsey from Something For Kate was there and he played guitar and sang. I had this other dream once - I was fighting vampires with Buffy and I killed all these vampires. Just as I killed them all, she turned and said, "You know you're not really in the gang, don't you?"
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