Buffy- "You know, I just...woke up and looked in the mirror and I thought, hey, what's with all the sin? I need to change. I'm...I'm dirty, I'm bad...with the sex and the envy, and that loud music us kids listen to nowadays. Uh...oh, I just suck at undercover."
Oz- "Well, it's sorta a funny story. Remember when I didn't graduate?" Willow- "Well, I know you had a lot of incompletes, but that's what summer school was for." Oz- "Yeah, Remember when I didn't go?"
Willow- "We still have some glitches in the system like...vampires getting away."
Giles- "If you should be killed I would be somewhat amiss." Willow- "You'd be cranky?" Giles- "Entirely." Willow- "Well, we try not to get killed. Thats part of our whole mission statement, don't get killed."
Buffy- "Let me give you the tour. (Takes two steps) This concludes our tour."
Larry- "I'm telling ya, this is our year. Best football season ever! I'm so in shape, I'm a rock. It's all about egg whites. If we can focus and keep discipline, and not have so many mysterious deaths, Sunnydale is gonna rock!"
Nurse- "What are you doing?" Buffy (Without looking up) - "Breaking into your office and going through your personal files."
Joyce- "Thought I'd hang some art up. It cheers up the room." Buffy- "It's angry at the room, Mom. It wants the room to suffer."
Giles- "Unbelievable (Mocking Joyce) 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty, it raises the dead.' Americans."
Buffy- "I didn't do this to punish you!" Xander- "Well, you did! You should've seen what you put her through." Buffy- "Oh, great, thanks. Anyone else wanna weigh in here. How bout you by the dip?" Jonathan- "No thanks, I'm good."
Cordelia- "Time out, Xander. Can you put yourself in Buffy's shoes for just a minute? I'm Buffy, Freak of Nature, right? Naturally, I pick a freak for a boyfriend, then he turns into Mr. Killing Spree, which is pretty much my fault..." Buffy- "Cordy! Get outta my shoes!"
Buffy- "I'd like to find Willow and Xander." Joyce- "Will you be slaying?" Buffy- "Only if they give me lip."
Oz- "It looks dead. It smells dead. Yet, it's moving around. That's interesting."
Xander- "Generally speaking, when scary things get scared. Not good."
Snyder- "Sorry, I'm not convinced." (Giles slams him against the wall) Giles- "Would you like me to convince you?"
Joyce- "So, is this a typical day at the office?" Buffy- "No, this was nothing."
Buffy- "So I told him that I loved him, and I kissed him, and I killed him."
Buffy (Sets Claddagh ring down) - "Goodbye."
Buffy- "No tats. Crappy dressers. Oh, and the one that nearly bit me mentioned something about kissing toast. He lived for kissing toast." Giles- "Did you say Kakistos?" Buffy- "Or maybe it was taquitos. Maybe he lived for taquitos. What?"
Xander- "Oh, you wanna date. I saw that half-smile you little slut."
Willow- "You do really need to find the fun, B...uffy."
Buffy- "Oh no, I have to go take an English exam. They give you credit for speaking it, right?"
Buffy- "It's a long story." Oz- "I got bit." Buffy- "Apparently not that long."
Faith- "Isn't it crazy how slaying always makes you hungry and horny?"
Cordelia- "When did you become Martha Stewart?" Buffy- "First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut proscuitto." Xander- "I don't believe she slays either." Oz- "I hear she does, but she doesn't like to."
Buffy- Shoots Giles with dart gun "Oh! Sorry!" Giles- "Oh, right! Bloody priceless!"
Buffy- "Buffy Summers reporting for sanity."
Xander- "He was here when...when I..." Giles- "Woke up!" Xander- "You can put it that way if you want, Mr. Technical."
Buffy- "Not too crazy? Those are your credentials?"
Willow- "OK, well, it's not for you, it's for me. Because, I'm still getting used to half a monty." Xander- "Oh, good. Half? You and Oz? Which half?" Willow- "Wouldn't you like to know."
Giles- "Clearly we're looking for a depraved sadisitic animal." Oz- "Present. I may be a cold blooded jelly doughnut, but my timing is impeccable."
Faith (listening to headphones) Buffy- "Hey." Faith (turns around and punches her)- "Oh! Buffy! Are you okay?" Buffy- "Bleeding internally, but I'll live." Faith- "God, I'm sorry, I guess I didn't hear you." Buffy- "Figured as much, ow, again."
Cordelia- "After all that we've been through tonight, this whole who gets to be queen capade seems..." Buffy- "pretty damn important." Cordelia- "Oh, yeah."
Buffy- "Do you have parents?" Cordelia- "Yeah, two of them...unlike some people." Buffy- "Your brain isn't even connected to your mouth is it?" Cordelia- "Why don't you do us both a favor and get out of my way." (Cordelia put her hand on buffy's shoulder to move her out of the way, Buffy grabs it ) Buffy- "Don't ever do that again." Cordelia- "You're sick, you know that?" Xander- "Come on, let's not say somehting we'll regret later..." Cordelia- "You crazy freak!" Buffy- "Vapid whore!" Xander- "...Like that." Cordelia- "What did you call me?"
Trick- "Faith...Buffy...have a nice death." Cordelia- "Hello! How stupid are you people? She's a Slayer. I'm a homecoming Queen."
Cordelia- "I hear you, you redneck moron. You got a dress that goes with that hat?" Lyle- "I'm gonna..." Cordelia- "Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch? Listen up, Needle-brain, Buffy and I killed four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend." Lyle- "Wife!" Cordelia- "The point is, I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end Buffy's always just the runner up, I"m the queen. Make me mad? What do you think I'm gonna do to you?' Lyle- "Later."
Trick- "We all have a desire to win. Wether we're human...vampire..and whatever the hell you are my brother. You got spiny lookin‘ head things. I ain't never seen them before." Kulak- "I am Kulak of the Miquot clan." Trick- "Isn't that nice?"
Cordelia- "I'd like to see you try and win the crown." Buffy- "You would?" (Cordelia sighs) Buffy- "Then you will."
Buffy- "How are you?" Angel- "It hurts...less." Buffy- "Good. I haven't told Giles and the others that you're back." Angel - "Giles." Buffy- "And I'm not going to. They wouldn't underatand that you're...better. And I'm gonna keep helping you get better. It's just that things are different, now. I'm a senior. I'm really working harder in school. I'm even thinking about college. And I'm involved with someone. His name is Scott. He's a nice solid guy. He makes me happy...and.that's what I need. Someone I can count on." (Cut to next day) Scott- "I don't think we should see each other anymore." Buffy- "You don't? When did this happen? Where was I?'
Faith -"Scott? There you are Honey. Hey, good news, the doctor says the itching and the swelling and the burning will clear up, but we got to keep using the ointment."
Buffy- "Giles, we're going to the sewers." (Joyce and Giles kiss) Buffy- "And don't do that!"
Ms Barton- "Listen up! We're all stuck here, so let's pretend to read a book or something and when we're sure that ‘commandant Snyder‘ is gone, we're all outta here!" Xander- "Does anyone else wanna marry Ms. Barton?' Cordelia- "Get in line."
Buffy- "It was just too much to deal with. It was like nothing made sense anymore. The things I thought that I understood were gone. I just felt...so alone." Giles- "Was that the verbal or the math?" Buffy- "Mostly the math."
Joyce- "Why don't you take the car and Mr. Giles can drive me home." Buffy- "What?! I'm sorry, I meant what?"
Buffy- "Then I was being chased by an improperly filled in bubble screaming 'none of the above!'" Willow- "I hope that wasn't one of your prophecy dreams. Probably not."
Buffy- "OK, you're just doing this ot take funny pictures of me."
Buffy- "No vampire has ever been that scary."
Snyder- "Whoa, Summers! You drive like a spaz!"
Willow- "Uh, not to downplay my slaying ability, which in some circle are considered formidable, but shouldn't Faith be here?" Buffy- "I called but no one was home. Look, if you are feeling any demon-o-phobia splitting is totally an option."
Buffy- "Now that the secret...Angel is out in the open, I feel better." Willow- "Well, sure you do. This big burden's been lifted. Keeping secrets is a lot of work. One could hypetherically imagine." Buffy- "You have no idea." Willow- "None whatsoever."
Cordelia- "So, are you dating someone or not?" Buffy- "I wouldn't use the word, dating, but I am seeing someone. Tonight as a matter of fact." Willow- "Really? Who?" Faith- "Hey, what's up? (To Buffy) Hey, time to motorvate." Buffy- "Really, we're just good friends."
Buffy- "Synchronized slaying." Faith- "New Olympic category?"
Buffy- "What is this? Demons Anonymous? I don't need the intervention here."
Buffy- "What am I doing? What are you doing?" Angel- "I don't know." Buffy- "Shame on you!" Willow- "What does he want from us anyway?" Xander- "The number of a qualified surgeon to remove the British Flag...from his butt."
Xander- "We're the best of Buffy's bestest buds."
Buffy- "We aren't friends. We never were. I can fool Giles, I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike for some reason. What I want from you I can never have."
Spike- "Well, if at first you don't succeed, I kill him and you try again."
Buffy- "Yeah, she saw these scores and her head spun around and exploded." Giles- "I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphoric, yes?" Buffy- "Yes. She was happy."
Spike- "Yeah, I'll show you...who's a...cool guy. You're goin down." (Trips, falls down, and passes out)
Xander- "What are they gonna know? That we're old, old friends that just like to hang out, and can I kiss your earlobe?" Willow- "No?! Well, okay. No! Pez?"
Spike- "No! This is different. Our love was eternal. Literally. You got any of those little marshmellows."
Willow- "1430! Buffy, you kicked ass! Okay, so academic achievement gets me a little excited."
Anyanka- "You trusting fool. How do you know the other world is any better than this?" Giles- "because it has to be."
Buffy- "Is this a get in my pants thing?"
Willow- "Uh-oh, Puppy got out."
Xander- "I left a few messages. 60...70. But you know what really bugs me? Ok, we kissed, it was a mistake, but that was positively the last time that was ever gonna happen." Willow- "Darn-tootin!"
Xander- "The deed is done." Master- "The girl is dead?" Xander- "It was too easy." Willow- "Yeah, I felt cheap."
Willow- "That's right, Puppy. Willow's gonna make you bark."
Buffy- "I don't play well with others."
Joyce- "Angel's on top again?" Buffy- "What?" Joyce- "Angel, or star?"
The First- "Beyond sin, beyond death, I am the thing that darkness fears."
Buffy- "Why don't you come in form the entire lack of cold."
Xander- "That's the Christmas spirit." Willow- "Hello? Still Jewish. Chanukah spirit I believe that is."
Willow- "W-well...I-I..you..we..I'm ready to...we could do that thing."
Buffy- "OK, ten more minutes of chanting, then you all have to go to bed."
Willie- "By the way, you did great. I was very intimidated by you." Xander- "Really? Thanks."
Giles- "You realize if he truly becomes a danger, you'll have to kill him. Again."
Xander- "What are you doing for Christmas?" Buffy- "Usual. Tree. Nog. Roast beef. What're you doing, Will?" Willow- "Being Jewish, remember, People? Not everyone worships Santa."
Buffy- "Someone with a soul did this?"
Buffy- "Uh...there was...uh...oh, uh, it was Mrs. Plum, in the library with a ratchet. I don't know what else I can tell you. The dead children? No, they didn't speak. OK, well, enjoy your doughnuts."
Xander- "So, a burrito?" Oz- "This is a burrito." Xander- "Damn straight."
Buffy- "Mom, dead people are talking to you. Do the math."
Buffy- "I'm like that kid in the story. The boy who stuck his finger in a duck." Angel- "Dike." (Buffy gives him a look ) Angel- "It's another word for dam." Buffy- "Oh. The story makes a lot more sense now."
Willow's Mom- "Willow, you cut off your hair, That's a new look." Willow- "Yeah, it's just a whim I had...in August."
Buffy- "Is Willow around?" Xander- "How can I convince you people that it's over? You assume because I'm here, and she's here. I somehow mysteriously know where she is." Buffy- "Those her books?" Xander- "Yeah, she's in the bathroom."
Cordelia- "What's ging on? Oh, God, is the world ending? I have research a paper on Bosnia. But if the world's ending, then I'm not going to bother."
Buffy- "Wow, that was really funny looking. Could you do it again?" Vampire- "I'll kill you for that." Buffy- "For that? What were you trying to kill me for before?"
Angel- "because I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life, I wanted to keep it safe. To warm it with my own." Buffy- "That's beautiful. Or taken literally, incredibly gross." Angel- "I was just thinking that, too."
Buffy- "OK, I just got swatted down by some no neck, and rescued by Cordelia. What the hell is happening?"
Buffy- "If I was at full Slayer power, I would punning right about now."
Buffy- "I'm way off my game. My game is out of the country, It's in Cuernevaca."
Buffy- "Giles isn't going anywhere. He's still Librarian." Willow- "OK, but I'm writing an angry letter."
Quentin- "Congratulations again." Buffy- "Bite me."
Joyce- "Buffy?" Buffy- "Present. (sees flowers) Ooh, present."
Faith- "A fight like that and no kill...I'm about ready to pop." Xander- "Really? Pop?" Faith- "You up for it?" Xander- "Oh, I'm up. I'm suddenly very up."
Giles- "There is something different about this menace. Something in the air. The stench of death." Xander- "Yeah, I think it's Bob."
Xander- "I'm gonna grab a snack, anyone want?" Giles- "No, thank you." Xander- "Oz?" Oz- "No. Oddly full today."
Buffy- "What is this?" Xander- "What do you mean what is it? It's my thing." Willow- "Your thing?" Xander- "My thing!" Buffy- "Is this a penis metaphor?"
Xander- "Long gone. Probably loaded with supplies. Gotta think. I can't believe I had sex. OK. Bombs. Already-dead guys with bombs."
Xander- "Your car came out of nowhere." Jack- "I was parked."
Giles- "They intend to open the Hellmouth." Buffy- "The Hellmouth? The one that opened..." Giles- "About twenty feet from where you're standing."
Buffy- "Remember that thing that almost got out the night I died?" Willow- "Every nightmare I have that doesn't revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. Once, I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked."
Buffy- "Ew. They celebrate their victory by eating their foes. They couldn't just pour Gatorade on each other?"
Wesley- "This is perhaps Faith." Faith- "New Watcher?' Buffy and Giles- "New Watcher." Faith- "Screw that." (Faith leaves)
Buffy- "How come your eye twitches everytime I say Faith's name?" (Xander's eye twitches) Xander- "What? No, it doesn't." Buffy- "Faith." (Xander's eye twitches, he covers it with his hand quickly ) Xander- "Hey! Cut it out!"
Buffy- "I hate it when they drown me."
Faith-"Nicely diverted, B." Buffy- "Diverted? That was me fighting for my life, Miss Attention Span."
Balthazar- "The man who has my amulet, what is his name?!" Angel- "His name is Angel."
Buffy- "Faith, you don't get it. You killed a man." Faith- "No, you don't get it. I don't care."
Buffy- "Is he evil?' Wesley- "Evil?" Buffy- "The last one was evil." Wesley- "Ah, yes, Gwendolyn Post. We all heard. Giles checked my credentials, rather thoroughly, and phone the council. But I'm glad to see you're on the ball as well. A good Slayer is a cautious Slayer." Buffy- "Is he evil?"
Faith- "Slaying is what we were built for, if you're not loving it, you're doing something wrong." Buffy- "Well, what about the assignment?" Faith- "Tell ya what, you do the homework, and I'll just copy yours."
Faith- "We were built to kill." Buffy- "To kill demons. But that does not mean we get to pass judgement on people like we're better than everyone else." Faith- "We are better! That's right, better. People need us to survive. In the balance, nobody's gonna cry over some random bystander who got caught in the crossfire." Buffy- "I am."
Faith- "You need me to toe the line, because you're afraid you'll go over it, aren't you, B? You can't handle watching me live in my own way, having a blast because it tempts you. You know it could be you. (Buffy punches her) There's my girl."
Faith- "You wanna feel a connection? It's just skin. I see...I want...I take. (Kisses him) I forget." Xander- "No. Wait, it was more than that." Faith- "I could do anything to you right now, and you want me to. I could make you scream. (Kisses him) I could make you die." Faith strangles Xander
Buffy- "When did you guys hang out?" Xander- " She was fighting one of those apocolypse demon guys, and I helped her. Gave her a ride home." Buffy- "And you guys talked?" Xander- "Not extensivley." Buffy- "Then wy would you...oh." Giles- "Oh!" Willow- "I don't need to say oh, I got it before."
Mayor- "It's not working." Trick- "It's supposed to do something besides shred?" Mayor- "It's supposed to cheer me up. Using the shredder usually gives me a lift. It's fun." Trick- "And today you're not gettin the ya-ya's?" Mayor- "No."
Willow- "We're still trying to de-rat Amy."
Wesley- "Well, she's...cheeky, isn't she?" Faith- "Uh, first word, 'jail', second word 'bait'."
Wesley- "And you teach psychology?" Cordelia- "I take psychology." Giles- "She's a student." (Wesley pulls his hand away) Wesley- "Well, I...yes. I'm here to watch...girls. Uh, Buffy and Faith to be specific."
Buffy- "Aren't you gonna introduce me to your...Holy God you're Willow."
Willow- "It's really nice that you guys all missed me. Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?"
Anya- "Get me a beer." Bartender- "I.D." Anya- "What?" Bartender- "I.D." Anya- "I'm 1120 years old! Just give me a friggin beer!" Bartender- "I.D."
Willow- "That's a little blacker than I like my arts."
Buffy- "Snyder needs me to kick his ass."
Willow- "I'm eating this now. It's not lunch time, I don't even care."
Buffy- "You know how my foot likes to live in my mouth."
Mayor- "There are some immoral liaisons going on there." Faith- "Plus all the screwing."
Buffy- "Oh my God, he's gonna do the entire speech." Willow- "Just ascend already." Buffy- "Evil."
Wesley- "This is mutiny." Buffy- "I like to think of it as graduation."
Cordelia- "I demand an explanation." Giles- "For what?" Cordelia- "Wesley." Xander- "Uh, inbredding?"
Willow- "Oh, I'm gonna miss her." Buffy- "Don't you hate her?" Willow- "Yes. With a fiery vengeance. She picked on me for ten years, the vacous tramp. Its a sickness, Buffy. I'm missing everything. I miss PE"
Buffy- "They're in England, I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing."
Willow- "Oh, trusty soda machine. I push you for root beer, you give me Coke."
Willow- "he's delirious. He thought I was Buffy." Oz-' You too, huh?"
Xander- "Guess who our commencement speaker is?" Willow- "Sigfried?" Xander- "No." Willow- "Roy?" Xander- "No." Willow- 'One of the tigers?" Xander- "Come out of the fantasy, Will."
Buffy- "What page are you on, Wes? Cause we already got there."
Xander- "Yes, men like sports. Men watch the action movie, they eat of the beef, and enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging out wrongs and that's all you've learned?"
Faith- "Human weakness, it never goes away. Not even his."
Willow- "How come evil girl's in the mix?" Xander- "Anya witnessed an ascension." Willow- "Okay then."
Willow- "Faith told you. Was that before or after you put her in a coma?" Buffy- "After."
Xander- "Come on guys. The suspense is killing Angel."
Snyder- "I saw that gesture. See me after graduation."
Oz- "Guys, take a moment to deal with this. We survived."
Buffy- "Hell of a battle."
Oz- "Not the battle. High school. We're taking a moment...