IF YOU HEAR ANY NOISE, IT AIN'T THE BOYS......byTerri

When Eleanor and Rose came through the kitchen door, Will was on hand to greet them.
"Mommy! Mommy! You'll never guess what Taylor Johnson did today! It was so cool!"
Rose took the baby out of Celeste's arms and whispered, "I'd better nurse her before I spring a leak!" To Will she turned and said, "Give me two minutes to get situated here, sweetheart, then you can tell me all about it."
After she settled with Jenna into the rocker, Will sat down and said, "Oh, it was so weird! He said to me, 'I wonder if the leg bone is really connected to the hip bone.' He wiggled it and then CRASH!!! I scooted to the back real fast so I wouldn't be blamed for it. Taylor's always doing stuff like that. Mrs. Faustino was so upset! Anyways, Taylor had a concussion and they are watching him to see if his eyeballs go in different directions. Like this!"
Will crossed his eyes and then made his eyes roll around. Rose tried very hard not to laugh.
"Sonja Hansen got hit with a flying finger bone. Do dinosaurs have fingers? Anyways, whatever it was hit her in ear. And she just got her ears pierced so she cried. The back of her earring came out and now she may have to get her ears re-pierced. Which will be hard because Donny McClellan saw her get them pierced at the mall and said Sonja's mother had to sit on her for three hours to get the second one pierced."
Rose said, "Will, do you ever have a normal day in school?"
Will thought, "I guess not. Maybe that is why you sent me to Covington School for the Gifted."
"Was Poppy William OK?"
Will said, "Yeah, I guess so. He told the nurse there he couldn't wait to get home to his Bourbon and branch. Whatever that is."
William came into the room and sat in his recliner. He leaned back and opened his paper up to the Sports section. Julie crawled up on his lap and he made room for her.
"Poppy William is NOT OK. Poppy William is exhausted. Do you know what twenty-three first graders can do to you?"
Rose put Jenna over her shoulder and gently burped her. "William," she chided. "You conquered the Danes at Hastings. You were the uniting force in creating a greater England. You mean to tell me you couldn't handle being around a bunch of 6 year olds?"
William put his paper down, narrowed his eyes and said, "Let me tell you, Missy--if I had a class of six-year-olds at Hastings, we would have won without one arrow being shot! They would have been a secret weapon. I would have just taken those babies and ka-pow! Catapulted them into the Danish army!"
Will said, "We are NOT babies!"
William said kindly, "I did not mean that in a derogatory sense, young man. But I think next time, you should take Auntie Marilyn with you. She's perfect for the job!"
Eleanor came into the room. "Want I should hold Jenna while you take a shower, Rose?"
Rose handed the sleeping baby over to Eleanor. "That would be great! I can be ready in fifteen minutes!"
William said, "And just where are you off to?"
Eleanor said, "Rose needs a night out. So we are going to the Firenza Gardens. Marilyn! Bess! Want to join us?"
Marilyn and Bess had just come in from the mall, laden down with packages.
"Ooo! Firenza Gardens! I hear they have the cutest waiters there!" Bess said. "Maybe we should ask Robin to come with us."
Marilyn said, "NO! This is a girl's night out. Sure! Count us in! Let's go freshen up, Bess!"
Within a flash they were gone. William said to Julie, "I don't like the sound of this at all, precious!"
Julie just looked up at him with her blue eyes and said, "Da-da?"
William patted her head and said, "Right. Da-da. If he were only here! Nope--don't like the sound of this at all." William sighed and went back to his sports page.

Rose got out of the shower, dressed and was downstairs in the fifteen minutes like she had promised. Everyone agreed to wear dressy casual. She fastened her earrings and went downstairs.
Eleanor said, "I called Beth to see if she wanted to join us but she said she was so happy to have 'her Roger' back that she didn't want to leave."
"I feel guilty leaving Celeste home with the children."
Celeste came in the room and said, "Nonsense! I am not through torturing William!" She glared at him and kicked the footrest. He just rustled his sports page and said, "I can't HEAR you!"
Marilyn and Bess came downstairs, ready to leave.
Rose said, "Celeste, I'm staying here overnight. This is the first time John has been away for this amount of time. And look at Julie. She's asleep in William's chair. So if you want to just put them to bed in the middle room, that would be fine. We shouldn't be out too late."
"Take your time, girls! Once the children are in bed, it's just like they aren't here! Have a good time!"
"We shall!" Eleanor said. "Ready to go? I'll drive."
They all got in El's car, ready for a girls' night out.


LADIES' NIGHT OUT....by Terri

Tiffany came into the condo and slammed the door. Holly was sitting on the couch eating Cheese Doodles and drinking Yoo Hoo. She was watching 'Romy and Michele's High School Reunion.'
"Hey, Tiff! Man, this movie is destined to be a classic like Casablanca! How went your paper-rock-baggie caper?"
Tiffany threw her coat down and said, "I don't know. I threw it, missed the window, and these gorillas came out with their guns drawn and I don't know if I was tailed or what. I ended up at this greasy spoon to make sure that I wasn't followed."
"OK--we'll just wait and see. Don't you have a big date tonight with Billy Bob Montgomery?"
Tiffany glared. "It's BILL-and don't forget it! Tiffany Winthrop does NOT consort with anyone who has the possibilites of yelling out 'Yee-haw!' at any given moment."
Holly shook doodle dust off her sweater. "Remind me never to wear black when I am eating these puppies! So--where is Billy Bo---Bill! Where is Bill taking you?"
"To some new Italian restaurant that just opened up called the Firenza Gardens. Supposed to be the hottest place in this backwater burg. I think they must use silverware in this hick town. I hear you may even have to wait for a table!"
Holly said, "Yeah, well, I saw Bill's blue eyes--you may not have to wait long! And it's not like he's taking you to Arby's!"
Tiffany headed upstairs to the bathroom and in a few minutes Holly heard the water running. She opened up another can of Yoohoo and split open another bag..this time it was Fritos.

Tiffany brushed out her hair and put on her gold necklace. She wore a pair of black wool pants and a yellow cashmere sweater. She surveyed herself in the mirror and blotted her lipstick. Oh yeah! Looks classier than that cowboy ever dreamed of. Especially married to Wanda Sue. Although wasn't he married to someone else for a while?

At exactly 7:30, Billy Bob pulled up to the Camelot Condos and rang the bell at Tiffany and Holly's condo. Holly opened up the door, and said,"Well, now! Aren't you a show-dog! HEY TIFF! DATE'S HERE! She'll be right down!"
Tiffany came down immediately and shot Holly a look to kill. Holly raised her eyebrows as if to say, 'hey, what did I do?'
Tiffany smiled brightly and said, "Well, Bill! Right on time!"
BB looked her appreciatively up and down and said, "I have 8:00 reservations. Shall we go?"
Tiffany held out her coat and Billy Bob looked at it. "OH! You want me to help you on with it!"
Holly mouthed 'yokel!' to Tiff and tried not to laugh.
Tiffany shot her a look and then turned to Billy Bob as he helped her on with her coat. "I think Italian would be lovely. Let's go."
Holly gave her a fingerwave and grinned, Tiff drew her finger across her throat in a 'cut it out' motion.
To Holly she said, "Don't wait up, dear."
"OH! A Mercedes!" she said, as the door closed.

"This way, ladies!" the maitre d' led the way to a nice table near the window that overlooked the walled garden at the Firenza Gardens.
"Oooh! Look at the way the fountains are lit up!" Bess said.
Marilyn said, "I must say, it is exactly as advertised! Where did they find the time to keep the garden so green? I mean, it is November here!"
Eleanor said, "If you look, the garden has a glassed dome roof. So it is just like a hot-house. It is retractable so in the summer, they just flip it back, somehow."
Rose said, "How do you know that?"
Eleanor said smugly, "I know the guy who sold them the property and handled the architectural plans."
Bess whispered in a stage whisper, "She means Jerry!"
Marilyn said, "Duuuuh!! Are you sure you aren't blonde under all that black hair, Bess?"
They all laughed.

"What will you ladies have to drink?"
"A white wine spritzer, please," Marilyn ordered.
Eleanor said, "A vodka martini for me."
Rose said, "What are the chances of a White Russian getting into breast mik?"
The waiter blushed and shrugged. They all looked at Rose with raised eyebrows. She sighed and said, "Make it a Margarita, light on the salt."
Bess said, "A fussy navel."
"A what?" the waiter asked.
"Fussy navel."
"OH! You mean a FUZZY NAVEL!"
That sent the girsl into gales of laughter. They perused their menu. Bess asked, "So what did John recommend when he went here with...OWW!"
Marilyn acted surprised. "OH! I'm so sorry, Bess! My foot must have slipped."
Bess rubbed her shin, "Yeah, strange especially when you are sitting next to me!"
Eleanor said, "The lasagna sounds good. Why don't we each order something different and then each take a taste so we will know what to order next time. Four antipasto salads, right? And don't spare the garlic bread!"
They gave their order and menus to the waiter and Eleanor said, "Well, it all looks good."
Rose stared at the door and said, "Not this! I don't believe it! Look what just walked through that door!"
Marilyn and Bess turned around, Eleanor craned her head over theirs. Bess said, "Mercy! Isn't that your husband? Ex-husband, I mean. Wow, Rose! He's with a real society type!"
Billy Bob and Tiffany were seated on the other side of the restaurant. They didn't see the four women..but they could sure see old Billy Bob and Tiffany!


TWEAKING MY LIFE AWAY....by Terri

"Ah! Mr. Montgomery! Two for eight o'clock! We have your table. This way, please." The maitre d' seated Tiffany and Billy Bob at a table overlooking a Florentine fountain in a courtyard. He pulled out her chair for her. Ah, he's trainable! Tiffany thought.
"What would you care to drink?" he asked her.
She thought, I'd love a Zombie but I'd better keep up the high-class broad routine.
"I'll have a Peach Melba Freeze with hazelnut liqueur, please."
Billy Bob thought, 'Huh? With Italian food?' but instead he said, "I'll have J&B on the rocks, please."
Tiffany smiled brightly, "Oooh! A scotch drinker, I see!"
Billy Bob smiled back. "Yes. That's what most Texans drink. That and bourbon."
He was laying on the 'aw shucks' Texas accent. Hell, why not? he thought. Worked for Rosamond. She's kind of like Rose. But she's got a classier look. Slimmer and taller and not as..endowed, I guess you would say. Yeah, long and lean! Mama would be proud.
Tiffany folded her hands under her chin and said, gazing into his eyes, "So! Tell me about yourself, William. Or should I call you Bill?"
He thought, 'Rose used to call me William..' but he said, "Bill will be fine. Whatever you are more comfortable with."
Tiffany said, "William sounds too formal. And I think we are going to be very good friends!"
She reached over and touched his hand. Billy Bob tugged on his collar. Is it getting hotter in here?
"Really not too much to tell. My father is Senator J.R. Montgomery of Texas. Mother is from the Long Island Gwinnetts. My father's family owns Sundown plantation in Louisiana, just outside of New Orleans."
"How fascinating!"
Billy Bob regaled her with stories of his youth. They were laughing over a dinner of veal scallopine and salads.
Billy Bob thought, I haven't enjoyed a woman's company since...well, it's been a while.
Tiffany thought, Ok, now it is time to get down to brass tacks and find out what he will try to tell me. Thanks to Wanda Sue, I know the real story!
She cut carefully into her veal and said casually, "Have you ever been married, Bill?"
BB choked slightly and took a sip of his Scotch. How do I handle this? Carefully. I don't want to blow what could be a deep and meaningful relationship.
Tiffany was thinking, let's see if he comes clean.
"Well, uh..I was married when I was sixteen. One of those teen things, ha-ha. A spur of the moment whim. But we both saw reason and my great grandpere got it annulled. Everything was taken care of and so in the eyes of the law, it was like it never happened."
"Really! Where is she now?"
"Oh, she's made a career for herself in....Australia. She's living with the aborigines and doing an anthropology study on them. She's made quite a name for herself. In Australia, that is."
"Maybe I have heard of her."
"I doubt it. Her name is Wa---Winifred. Winifred Sk-Scarborough. Winifred Scarborough. She's originally from Saskatchewan. Family owned a lot of prairie land there. Raised dogs."
"Prairie dogs?"
"No. They raised Alaskan Malamutes for the Iditarod."
"Ohhhh!" Tiffany thought, what a load of bull! Wanda Sue will love it!
"Well, it certainly looks like you did her a favor by cutting her loose, Bill. She could move on and make a name for herself."
"Yes. Yes, I did. We were young and foolish and we felt it was best."
"So..just the one marriage from your teen-age years? That seems strange that you didn't try it again."
"Well, uh..I did."
"Oh? Really?"
"Yeah. Her name was..Rosalind. We were together for almost a year."
"Almost a year. My, Bill! Your track record isn't very good, is it?"
"Oh, it was a very good marriage. It broke her heart when I decided we didn't have much of a future."
Tiffany sat back and pretended to be mesmerized by his words. She paused with a forkful of salad halfway up to her mouth. She carefully put it down.
"She didn't have a future with you? You heart-breaker! I just KNOW there has to be a fascinating story here."
Billy Bob drained his glass of scotch and signaled for another one. "You want another Peach..whatever it is?"
"Melba Freeze. No, thank you."
She reached over and patted his hand in sympathy. "It must have been devastating for her. What happened?"
Billy Bob took his scotch and took a sip. A big one.
"Well, it was over the matter of children. I wanted children and we planned on a big family. She told me she couldn't wait to have babies. I found out that Rosaliind had been taking..er, steps to ensure she didn't get pregnant. She wanted to postpone it and become an actress. When I confronted her on it, she at first denied it but then she came clean. It was quite messy. I told her I was going to Europe for a few months and I was going to think long and hard about it. But after a few months, I called her and told her it was over, I was coming home and she was going to have to leave the ranch."
Tiffany put both hands to the side of her face, similar to Evard Munch's The Scream.
"And did she leave?"
He shrugged his shoulders and said, "She kind of did. But she rented it out as a bed and breakfast while I was gone. I guess she thought she could manage it and therefore I would always be around and I would give her a second chance."
"Oh my! Where is that poor creature now?"
"She's doing summer stock in Elk City, Idaho."
"But it's almost winter!"
"Exactly!"
They laughed and clinked glasses. Billy Bob smiled at Tiffany. "Yes, she's out there living in a travel trailer with five other actors and taking it on the road."
Tiffany gave him a brilliant smile. What a crock! Still, he IS devastatingly handsome and he has money to burn. Wonder who is this Rosamond he was married to? Wanda Sue called her 'Rosetramp'.
The only Rosamond I know is Rosamond de Clifford--the one who had some sort of scandal surrounding her..she left her husband for that hunky co-star John something. I really should watch more television... and didn't her husband disappear and was presumed dead?
This is sounding eerily familiar...and Billy Bob is really tweaking it, if this is the same woman!
Billy Bob grinned at her and thought, I'm doing great!
And Tiffany was thinking, Liar, liar! Pants on fire!


MODERN DAY CONFESSIONAL, THE LADIES ROOM....by Terri

Rosamond tried not to look over at Billy Bob and his new date. Bess kept turning around and Marilyn pinched her.
"OW! I wasn't doing anything! Eleanor gets to look, why can't I?"
Marilyn hissed, "Because we don't want Montgomery to know that we see him."
Eleanor said, "Look at her, batting those cow eyes at him!"
Bess said, "You can see that?"
"Well, no! But the way he is smiling she is!"
Rosamond rustled her menu irritatingly. "Oh, who gives a rat's ass?"
Bess said,"Rose! I'm shocked!"
"He's NOT my husband anymore. So why should I care if he wants to make a ninny out of himself?"
But she couldn't help sneaking peeks over at him. So did the rest of the girls. Bess got out her compact and looked like it was a rear-view mirror.
"Oh my! She just patted his hand! Now he is taking a drink of his Scotch and ordering another one.."
Marilyn took the compact out of Bess' hand and threw it across to Eleanor. She caught it deftly with one hand.
"Hey! No fair!"
Rose looked over and said, "She's getting up to go to the ladies' room."
They all three looked at Rose and she said, "What? What?"
"Go on a reconnaissance mission!"
"Yeah, make it a fact-finding tour!"
Rose looked back at them and they looked expectantly back at her. She threw her napkin down. "OH, ALLRIGHT!"
Rose was halfway across the room, careful to avoid letting Billy Bob see her. Bess jumped out of her seat and said, "I'm going with her!"
Marilyn grabbed her wrist and said, "OH, NO, YOU AREN'T!"
Bess jerked her hand away and said, "I want to see how Rose works and I will pretend to use the bathroom. OK, so I have to anyhow."
Before they could stop her, Bess was trotting off after Rose.

Rosamond quickly took her place at the opulent mirror as Tiffany came out of the stall. Rose made a production out of searching for something in her purse. She glanced up quickly when she saw Bess come in and go into a stall.
Rose said, "Darn! I thought for sure it was here..."
Tiffany stopped at the mirror and got out her lipstick. "Are you looking for something?"
Rose sighed. "Yes. An aspirin. I have a splitting headache and now I don't have any pain relievers."
Tiffany reached into her purse and pulled out a bottle of Excedrin. "Will this do?"
Rose said gratefully, "OH! You are a life-saver! You know how it is when you are out with a wonderful man and a headache comes on you and threatens to spoil your evening."
Tiffany smiled at her reflection and smooched her lips together to evenly distribute her lipstick. "I surely do."
Rose pretended to fiddle with her sling-backshoes. Bess was quietly standing in the stall to hear everything.
Rose continued, "This is my first night out with my husband since our baby was born. It is so nice to spend time with him and not have any distractions."
Tiffany said, "I wouldn't know."
Rose tried another tack. "The gardens are so romantic. I do hope you are spending them with someone special!"
Bess thought, 'you go, Rose!'
Tiffany put some blush on. "Well, actually, it is a first date."
Tiffany looked at her and said, "Do I know you?"
"Oh, I don't think so. Maybe you have seen me at the grocery. Or maybe at the fitness center on Beacon Road. My husband owns it."
Tiffany looked at Rose with interest. "Really! It seems like a great place. Is it reasonable?"
Rose rummaged in her purse for a brush and started to brush her hair. She laughed. "Reasonable enough! You don't see me driving a Corvette, though!"
No, but my husband does, she thought.
Rose extended her hand. "My name is..Roz."
Tiffany took her hand and said, "Tiffany Winthrop. Newly arrived."
"Oh! From where?"
"Originally from Long Island. By way of here and there..all over. NOW I know who you look like!"
Rose was waiting for her to say, 'Rosamond de Clifford.'
But instead, Tiffany said, "You look just like my best friend Holly. Except you are a little more...endowed."
Bess stifled a giggle in the stall. Tiffany said, "Someone must have a real problem. They've been in there forever."
Bess blushed, came out and washed her hands.
Rose shot her a look as Bess took her time drying her hands and then decided she had better go back to her seat.
Rose put her lipstick on. "Oh, first dates are so important. That is the 'getting to know you' part. Interesting and yet deadly. I honestly think there should be a questionaire that you hand them and have them fill out. Stuff like, 'are you married?' 'have you ever been married?' 'why are you divorced?' and 'where is she now?' It would be so much easier!"
Tiffany laughed and said, "Oh, he's very forthcoming on that! It turns out his first wife is an anthropologist in Austalia. His second wife is a loser actress living in Idaho, if you can believe it!"
Rose slowed down brushing her hair. "Really! IDAHO?"
"Yeah. The only eyes on her are on the potatoes."
Rose did a slow burn. "Well, maybe she had a learning experience out there. And maybe your date is just bitter."
Tiffany said, "Well, if he is bitter, he's got a couple million to keep him warm!"
Tiffany said, "You enjoy your evening!"
Rose stared after her and said, "You too."


LOSING PATIENCE.........by Coralynn

Celeste puts Julie down in her little bed and sees that little Will has fallen asleep atop his bed, probably a result of an exciting day at the museum. She smiles and covers him up, then checks on Jenna, who is out like a light in her crib. Feeling gratified, she rejoins the others down in the living room.
William is stretched out full length in his lounger, clicker in hand, channel cruising a mile a minute.
As she walks by him, she grabs the clicker out of his hand and sits in the other chair with the lever on the side. "HEY!" he objects, "What was that for?"
"First off, William, you drive us all crazy changing channels right, left and center. Secondly, you are supposed to be at the electronics store buying us those three new computers."
"Oh that," he looks at his watch, "The stores are closed by now."
"You have twenty minutes till they close! They stay open almost all night!" Celeste argues.
"Not enough time," he says as he gets up from his lounger, walks over to where she's sitting and grabs the remote out of her hand. She stands and grabs it back. There ensues a tug-of-war, which Celeste wins, much to William's consternation.
"So go to the store!" she punctuates her victory.
"Not enough time...." he repeats as he goes into the kitchen and rummages around in the refrigerator.
She follows him, "William, I have tried my best to be patient, but I've run out of it. You shall go to the store tomorrow morning, first thing after it opens, and you shall buy those computers. It's been what, three days, since you said you'd do this simple chore, but has it been done?"
"I brought those refurbished ones..." he begins to defend himself.
"What a fiasco....doesn't count. I want new ones, new as in no one else has used them, new as in they are fresh out of the factory, new as in....."
"I get it!" he cuts her off, "Now go watch your television programs......"
"I will! But it's not easy concentrating when I can sense bad vibes swirling around...."
"Then consult your crystal ball," he suggests as he finishes making an enormous turkey sandwich.
"YOU saw it! It takes me to the landing of the Pilgrims and all that stuff, it is totally on the fritz, demented. I have to access the Story! And in order to do that...."
"I know, I know, you have to have a computer!" he tells her right before he takes a big bite out of the sandwich, reaches into the jar for a dill pickle, takes two, and upends a bag of Ruffles over the plate. He smiles, what the hell, tomorrow is soon enough to start back on my diet.


PLANNING THE GRAB.........by Coralynn

Salvatore Barzini and seven of his closest associates, or 'family' as he refers to them, are sitting in the room Sal calls the War-Room, with ten huge padded leather chairs, situated near a round table.
"King Arthur's court is now in session!" Mike Spacone laughs, but stops when the Big Boss looks sternly at him. Apparently levity is out, Mike concludes. Oh well, there will be other times when I can use my advanced and very dry sense of humor.
Joe Bataglia has been included in the group, something he has never experienced before. He looks around in awe at the lavish appointments of the room. Those drapes alone must have set the Boss back fifty grand!
"I think we are all agreed," Sal says with gravity, "that this blackmailer shall be caught and punished, maybe even eliminated. Now," he turns to Joe, "You say he was a young, well-built guy?"
"Right! Shoulders out to there!" Joe is glad he can give back to the Boss the answer he obviously wants.
Sal reads from the blackmail note, "Box 38. Tomorrow morning. Soon as the post office opens, Joe, you and Tony are going to nab this guy. Between you two you should be able to subdue him. Think you can do it this time?" one eyebrow raises ominously.
"I could have done it last time if I'd had backup..." Joe explains.
"You have one more chance, Joe, just one, do you get my meaning? This family has no place for losers, for incompetents, for screw ups."
Joe nods, scared out of his wits, but trying not to let it show.
"Anyone else have anything to add?" Sal looks around the circle of chairs. Mike has a joke at the tip of his tongue, but clamps his mouth tight around it so it can't escape. He has only seen Sal this angry two other times in his four year assocication with him, and both times the men involved ended up..........well, let's just say they disappeared, never to be seen or heard from again.
"Where are we gonna take him?" Tony asks.
"I already told you before: you are going to bring him here, to this house. To the back door of this house, you are to back up to the door and haul him out of the trunk. Standard procedure."
Tony doesn't have the nerve to contradict the Big Boss, who did not tell them that before, but instead nods sagely. He has to bide his time because soon he's going to move to Oregon, far away, too far away from Salvatore Barzini to find him. He's going to go into ranching or maybe manufacture salsa or something spicy, whatever it is, he's not going to fall in with the Mob again, not ever.
Joe sits there in controlled panic, wondering where he can go if he botches this job again. Are they still using the Underground Railroad? Can he escape to Canada? Does the U.S. and Canada have Mob extradition? If he's really fast, maybe he can take a plane out of Toronto for Australia. Surely the Mob isn't there, is it?? He and Tony are on the same wavelength, but don't look at each other for fear Salvatore will catch on, so they sit there looking down at their hands until Sal says the meeting is over. Even then they stay clear of each other.
Salvatore strides out of the room and up the winding staircase to his room, the room he shares with his wife, whats-her-name, the woman who bore him two children, big whoop, so now she's like an albatross around his neck, an albatross who has connections with the Sabatini gang, the arch enemy of the Barzini gang, an albatross who could, at will, set matters in motion that could spell the end of the Barzini gang and the end of Salvatore himself. She will never find out about my affairs, he thinks with surety, and anyone who thinks he can tip her off is a dead man!


CAN YOU SPELL GOLD-DIGGER?......by Terri

Rosamond came back to the table, taking the long way back and skirting around the room, looking away from the table BB and Tiffany are sitting at. As she took her seat, the other three look at her. "Well?"
Rosamond said, "I can't believe it! Can you say...GOLD DIGGER?"
Marilyn shrieked, "What?"
Bess nodded in affirmative. "You should see the shoes she's wearing!"
Rose said, "She's---" and stops as the waiter puts their dinners in front of them. "Any more drinks, ladies?"
The all nodded affirmatively. "And don't spare the salt, this time." Rose said.
"Wow! You ARE mad! Does this mean you are still in love with Billy Bob?"
Rose said crossly, "Someone stick a breadstick in that brat's mouth."
Marilyn shoved a breadstick in Bess's mouth.
"MMFFPPH!!"
Rose said, "I just don't want to see him hurt. He doesn't deserve it. I mean, you can't be married and live with a guy for almost a year and wish him ill. Not after all I put him through."
Marilyn said, "Are you kidding?" She counted off on her fingers. "How about what he put YOU through? Cutting you off from your friends, rushing you into a slam-bam marriage, making you give up your career, sending you to Dr...Dr..."
"Underwear."
"Yes. Thank you. Dr. Underwear. Keeping you from the man you really loved. Inflicting that insufferable mother in law on you. Wanda Sue and her blackmail. Faking his own death. Showing up at your wedding. Getting in a fight with John at Starbucks over a dumb jacket...."
"OK, OK, I remember it all. Too clearly."
Bess munched on her breadstick. "Well, he IS hunky in a kind of woo-hoo kind of way."
"Woo-hoo?" Marilyn asked.
"Yee-haw, she means." Rose said. "He doesn't deserve to be taken to the cleaners by a woman named Tiffany." "Yee-haw."
"No. The woman's name." "Tiffany. Tiffany Winthrop."
Eleanor put her fork down. "I don't believe it! Are you sure?"
"Sure as I'm sitting here sucking salt off my fingers. Why? I know it's kind of a stripper's name..."
Eleanor shook her head and pointed her fork at the laughing couple on the other side of the room. "Tiffany Winthrop. That was the woman who was Roger's college sweetheart."
Bess giggled. " 'Sweetheart'. How quaint, El."
Eleanor said, "No. She was interested in Roger when she found out he was a doctor. The minute she found out he and Bethia had children..whoosh! Love flew out the door!"
Marilyn said, "So?" She hesitated and looked at Eleanor. She narrowed her eyes. Eleanor said, "We'll do it this way. If they are still there when we are ready to leave, I'll casually stop over at the table and say hi."
Bess said, "Oh! Can I go, too?"
Rose said, "No, you can't! If you hadn't taken it upon yourself to come into the bathroom, I would say 'yes'. But she's seen you. Like she has seen me. Eleanor? Yes! Saunter over there after dinner and YOU can do a reconnaissance."
Eleanor said, "Ladies? No dessert! What I am about to lay on them will make your teeth ache with sweetness!"

OPERATION SUCROSE......by Terri

When Eleanor signaled for the check, Bess and Rosamond left to wait in the car. Billy Bob and Tiffany were still making cow-eyes at each other. Eleanor signed her name to the receipt.
"Thanks! Come again, please!" the waiter said.
Marilyn whispered, "He's really cute! In a Neapolitan kind of way!"
Eleanor said, "OK--Operation Sucrose is about to commence. Just follow my lead!"
Eleanor and Marilyn put their coats on and started towards the door. When they passed Billy Bob, Eleanor stopped and said, "Well, this is a surprise! Billy Bob Montgomery!"
Billy Bob stood up. "Oh! Hello, Eleanor..and Marilyn, isn't it?"
Marilyn said warmly, "Yes. Hello!"
Eleanor said, "I don't believe I have seen you since Bethia Bidwell had the twins in the hospital! How have you been?"
"Oh, just fine! May I introduce Tiffany---"
"Oh! Tiffany Winthrop!"
"You two know each other?"
Tiffany said, "We've met. Why, Bill, you didn't tell me you knew Bethia Bidwell!"
BB was flustered. "Oh, not really. She was..."
"..his wife's best friend. Bethia and Rosamond go way back."
BB is definitely sweating as he has spun a web of lies that just may come back to bite him in the butt.
"Rosamond? I thought you said your wife was named Rosalind."
"Huh? No, I said Rosamond. You must have heard me wrong."
Eleanor leaned over and said, "She's Rosamond de Clifford-Gwinnett."
Tiffany's eyes grew round. "But he said she was in Idaho."
Billy Bob mopped his forehead. "No, Tiffany. You misunderstood. I think you asked where she was and I said 'I don't know.' NOT 'Idaho'."
Tiffany pouted. "I know what I heard."
Eleanor said, "Oh, she's the hottest actress around. She and her husband John. They won the Hottest Couple in Daytime Drama award two years in a row. I don't know if they are up for it this year. It's been postponed a month."
Marilyn said, "So have you been dating long?"
Tiffany said, "Actually, this is our first date."
El said, "Really! Oh, Billy Bob! Rosamond will be SO happy to hear you have moved on!"
To Tiffany, she said, "We honestly didn't think he'd ever get over her!"
Marilyn said, "No, we didn't! It didn't end very prettily, did it, El?"
Eleanor said, "It surely didn't! We thought Rosamond was going to have to get a restraining order on Billy Bob!"
Billy Bob said, "Hey, now, wait just a minute....!"
Marilyn whispered to Tiffany, "You remember that scene in The Graduate when Dustin Hoffman stood in the balcony and cried and banged and yelled 'ELAINE!! ELAINE!!'?"
Billy Bob said, "I NEVER!"
Marilyn said, "Oh, I didn't say you acted like THAT!"
Eleanor whispered, "But he DID need restrained!"
Marilyn said, "Eleanor? We really must be going!"
Eleanor smiled warmly at the two of them and said, "You kids have a real nice time now! Tiffany? Let's do lunch sometime!"
They walked out the door and as soon as they got out in the night air, they burst into uncontrollable laughter.
Marilyn said, "OW! That gave me such a toothache, I may not eat candy for a month!"
El and Marilyn high-fived each other. "What a perfect ending to a perfect dinner! Lasagna, submarining, and now look! Rose turned the car heater on for us!"
Marilyn sighed. "Can life be any more perfect?!"


IN THE WEE SMALL HOURS.......by Coralynn

William places his robe on the hanger and gets into bed, when his foot hits a barrier half way down the length of the bed. He whips off the blanket and top sheet and sees that his bed has been short-sheeted. Throwing on his robe again he storms out of the room and down the stairs where Celete has just finished reading a magazine, laying it on a side table, taking off her glasses, rubbing them with a tissue.
"What do you think you're doing?!" he thunders.
"Cleaning my glasses, William, do you mind?"
He points up toward his room, "No, I mean up there! My bed....it's been tampered with!"
She sighs audibly but makes no reply.
"You're getting awfully hostile, Celeste," he continues his tirade, "Are you having a problem, a female problem?"
She stands up in a rage, "I'll show you a female problem, Willaim.....it's standing about five feet in front of me wearing a maroon robe!"
"I have done nothing to cause you to sabotage me!" he insists.
"Right, You have done nothing. It's called passive-agressive, in case you don't know the term. It's a way to show anger or distain for another person simply by not cooperating and procrastinating...."
"I see, you're back at that subject again! I told you I'd buy the computers tomorrow morning."
"But you'll find a reason not to. It's called passive-agressive, a way to Gaslight someone else by simply not doing anything."
"Gaslight?!"
"A movie with Ingrid Bergman. She was married to Charles Boyer, who usually took romantic lead parts in movies, but in this one he was Sturgis Bower, a psychopath who married rich women or some such then tried to convince them they were insane by turning down the lights, and when the woman commented on it say 'it's all your imagination. You've been very forgetful lately, my dear.' This goes on till the woman begins to believe she's slipping into madness."
"I haven't done any such thing," he objects.
"Not the exact same thing, but reminiscent of it. In other words, you ignore my requests, making me feel unimportant and if it goes on long enough I start to feel powerless and pretty soon I wonder if I have dimensia....."
"Pshaw!"
"You need counseling, William."
"I do? What about you? You've turned into a first class nag!"
"Tell you what......you go for counseling and I'll go with you, but the person who needs the therapy is YOU."
"Alright! Make an appointment and I'll go with you and then when you hear how I'm pronounced a very fine fellow, very loyal, very helpful, very intelligent, I don't want to hear any more about me needing counseling."
"OK, I know a very good marriage counselor......my friend Doris used her before she left that brute of a husband..."
"Marriage counselor?" William is thunderstruck.
Celeste loves to see his face turn red like that and laughs, "Alright, then, we'll call her a personal relationship counselor, is that better?"
"Her?" he looks skeptical, "I don't trust a woman to figure out who's at fault. Women always stick to....."
"Fine, then. I know of a male counselor we can go to," Celeste tells him, trying not to smirk too obviously. The counselor is the most expensive one in Westchester County, plus he's gay.


ON LEAVING FIRENZA......by Terri

Eleanor and Marilyn slid into the front seat. Bess leaned over. "Well? WELL???"
Eleanor said, Well, he's kind of smitten."
Rose snorted, "Smitten? Maybe at first but then it goes through to possession and then obsession."
Bess said, "Hey, that sounds like some new perfume..'SMITTEN', 'POSSESSION' and 'OBSESSION'! They could be sold as bath oils and lotions..."
Rose covered Bess' mouth with her hand."So tell us what happened, El!"
Marilyn laughed. "He told her a such a crock and we corrected the story."
El said, "Yep! We took out the symbolic red marker and just 'x'd and 'circled' until his story looked like a fifth grade 'D' student's theme paper on 'How I spent my summer vacation'!
Bess pulled Rose's hand away from her mouth. "And what did she say?"
El said, "Well, I think the word is 'a frosted flake' because she looked..peeved? Is that the word you would use, Marilyn?"
"That or 'irritated'."
Rose slunk down on the seat. "Like I care. Let's go home. John may have called. I just need to hear his voice."
Eleanor yawned and said, "Yeah. This day has outlived its usefulness."

Billy Bob got the check right after Marilyn and Eleanor left. He paid it and then helped Tiffany on with her coat. She was unusually quiet.
"I hope you had a good time, Tiffany."
"Yes, Bill, I did."
"I wouldn't put any stock in what those two women had to say. They were friends of my ex-wife. They both hate me."
"Hate you? They seemed rather friendly to me."
"Well, NOW they are. But when I was married to---Rosamond---that Eleanor did everything she could to plant seeds of discontent in Rose's mind. And that Marilyn, she has a wicked left hook that she doesn't hesitate to use."
He opened up the car door for Tiffany and she slid in. She ran her hand over the leather interior..nice! Billy Bob got in and started the car up to let it warm up. He reached over to Tiffany and put his arm around her and drew her close. She gave him the big 'pull back'.
"What do you think you are doing?"
His lips brushed her neck. "What do you think I am doing?"
She said, "Bill, this is our first date. I don't think this is proper."
"Huh?"
"I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me. I'm not an easy woman. I have standards."
Billy Bob sat there bewildered. He didn't know what to do. So he started the car and headed in the direction of Tiffany's condo.
As they drove back, he put in a CD of Grover Washington Jr.'s. Nice and mellow. Tiffany moved closer to him. Ah, that's more like it! he thought. He put his arm around her. They pulled up to the condo and BB shut the engine off. He leaned over and once again pulled her closer to him. As he moved to kiss her, she coyly said, "Please. I don't 'make out' on the first date."
He was totally confused by this time. She said, "I really should be getting inside."
He wondered, this always worked before. It worked on Wanda Sue..well, then, smiling at Wanda Sue back then got you a ticket in the back seat. And Rose wasn't that hard either. She sure went for the 'aw-shucks-kick-your-boot-in-the-dirt' routine. This is one tough mama.
Billy Bob got out and opened the car door for her. He walked her to her door.
"It's really cold out here, " Tiffany said. She held BB's jacket and pulled him ever so slightly towards her. He leaned in like he was at least going to get a kiss goodnight. She buttoned up his coat and laid her hand on his chest.
"Goodnight, Bill. I had a wonderful time!"
She quickly brushed her lips on his. She then turned and opened the door and went inside.
Billy Bob stood there not really knowing what happened. Or what to do next. So he just walked back to his car.
Tiffany came in to the living room. Holly sat there and dusted white cheddar from her popcorn off her sweater.
"WELL???"
Tiffany just smiled. "He's hooked. Like the proverbial flounder!"

BACK TO THE SCAM.........by Coralynn

Holly jumps out of bed all invigorated, goes into Tifffany's room and crows,"Tiff! We have to go to the post office and see if the money is there yet!"
Tiffany turns over in bed, groaning, "I had a late night, in case you don't remember."
"Well, so did I, waiting for you to get back!" Holly is not deterred.
Tiffany sits up in bed, "Now that I'm awake, thanks to you, I might as well...."
"Hurry!"
"Why?" Tiffany groans, "Do you think Salvatore Barzini has had someone deliver it this early?"
"Sure! They want to shut us up, remember?"
"Oh yeah, that. Well, OK, then, but give me time to shower and dress."


MEANWHILE:

Joe and Tony get into the old Ford that the Boss set aside for this caper, shuddering with cold as they sit on the plastic seats.
"This time we stay there all day if we have to," Joe reminds Tony, "because if we don't nab the guy with the shoulders this time we're dead men."
"You are anyway!" Tony adds.
"We both are. If this doesn't work, I'm getting out of the country pronto!" Joe declares as he turns the key and the old clunker car's engine turns over successfully.
When they arrive at the post office, it's just being unlocked for business. They park in the side lot and walk to the building, up the stairs, then pause.
"How do we explain our loitering?" Tony remembers to ask.
"That's a problem. The guy behind the counter was giving me the fish eye the last time. Hope he isn't working today. Let's play it by ear."
When they are inside the post office they see a nondescript woman working the counter, getting things ready for the day's activity. She glances up at them, then continues sorting out the mail that's come in through the mail-drop. No one else is there yet, which causes Joe to whisper, "Let's wait out on the steps."
"But then we won't be able to see who checks out Box 38!" Tony points out. "I'll recognize the guy for sure. The minute he comes out of the P.O. with that package we grab him. Besides, the sun is out for a change, so let's go out and sit in it."
"Good idea!" Tony agrees. They sit on the stone steps. Tony has brought an action paperback and flips it open to continue reading.
"You're no help with your nose in that book!" Joe objects.
"If the guy with the shoulders shows up, just let me know...."
A young well-built man approaches the building which causes both of the guys to startle and almost go after him, but before Tony gets a chance to grab him Joe says, "Not him!"
Tony goes back to his book.
An old lady with a walker somehow navigates her way over the ramp into the post office, which is ignored. A little boy dragging his mother with him yells, "I want a lollipop!" which is an interesting if futile request considering where they're headed.
Tony reads on.
A young couple, holding hands nears the building, and goes into an embrace at the foot of the stairs, then walks into the post office, her lipstick smeared on his face.
A dog tries to go into the building, but is shooed away.
Two attractive young women walk up to the stairs, the taller of the two entering as the other one trips and almost falls on Joe and Tony. "Ooops!" she laughs, then follows the other woman inside.
Tony is getting to the most exciting part of the book as he wets his finger and turns the page.
Several of these people then exit and either get into cars or stroll away. They are given no particular heed as none of them are the guy with the shoulders.
"Listen to this!" Tony starts to read aloud from the book, "Anthony is backed up against the wall, Big Jim manacing him with an 18 inch knife...."
"I read that book last year. Anthony flips Big Jim over and stabs him with the knife..." Joe tells him with a superior attitude as the two young women leave the post office carrying a package. It's about the same size as the one they delivered to the night deposit....
"Where in hell is the guy with the shoulders?" he gripes.

MEANWHILE:

"Open it!" Holly says excitedly after she and Tiffany have gotten into the car and locked the doors. Tiffany slices the wrapping tape and pulls back the two sections of the top of the box and sees those sytrafoam peanuts with a folded piece of paper on top. "Rats!" she yells, "Not again!"
Holly reaches over and grabs the folded sheet of paper, opens it and reads: "OK, buddy, you fooled us this time, but watch your back because we know where you live and we're coming after you!"
"Buddy?" Tiffany reaches over and takes a look herself, then looks at the mailing label on the box, "Look at this Holly.....it's addressed to Box 38, but someone has written above that 'The guy with the shoulders.'"
"That's not us! Who do you think they mean?"
"Remember Charles, who got our box the last time? He has the widest shoulders I've seen in a long time. I wonder...."
"They think he's the blackmailer?" Holly asks, frowning, trying to figure it out.
"That's my guess! Now how do they know he has wide shoulders? Did anyone see him get the box?"
"Remember the guys I almost fell over on my way into the post office just now, Tiff?"
"One of them looked familar......"
"They must be the mob guys! They've got themselves staked out on the front steps waiting for the shoulders guy to get the package, and here we get it and just waltz right out as nice as you please."
Tiffany reaches around and hauls a camera out of the back seat, and as she starts the car tells Holly, "We're drive around the block, and when we're right in front of the post office, you take a picture of those guys out front.......here, use the zoom lens."
"Won't they get wise?"
"Probably not. That one guy is so busy reading his book he probably won't notice, and the other guy is determined to bring down the guy with the wide shoulders....."
"What are we gonna do with the picture?"
Tiffany puts the car in gear and eases it out onto the street, smiling, "Just wait......I have a plan."


LET'S PLAY PHONE TAG.....by Terri

John woke up to the insistent knocking on his door. He looked at his alarm clock. Eight o'clock...EIGHT O'CLOCK!! Nuts!
He yelled, "I'm coming, I'm coming!" as he pulled his robe on. Opening up the door, he saw Pat McMahon standing there with two Starbucks coffee and croissants.
"Care to join me?" she asked, as she breezed in the room. She looked at him.
"What, still in bed? There is the seminar on 'Pulled Muscles--The Whys and Wherefores' at 8:45. You ARE going, aren't you?"
John said, "Yes, I guess I just overslept."
She sat on his bed and handed him a coffee. "You must have had one helluva night! And I wasn't there to enjoy it with you!" She winked at him.
John ran his fingers through his hair. What the heck is going on here?
She said, "If you want, take a quick shower and I'll meet you at my room in 30 minutes. Meanwhile I will go to the conference room and save us a couple premium seats."
All John could manage was, "Alright."
Pat strode over to the interconnecting doors and opened John's and then opened hers. Why he keeps his locked is beyond me!

Rosamond dialed John's room. The phone rang and rang. Maybe he had an early seminar. He didn't call me at all last night.

John was in the shower, waiting for the water to wake him up. I should have tried to reach Rose this morning. The phone was busy all night long. Wonder if the phone lines were out. Jake has been known to kick the line out when he and Belle are tussling. And I don't know how many times I have told her to keep her cellphone on. Half the time it is in her purse and she doesn't hear it over the car stereo. And why she never checks her voicemail is beyond me. Bet she doesn't even know how..

Rose came down to breakfast. She was dragging herself with a baby in tow and Julie hanging on her arm. Will was sitting at the breakfast table with Celeste and William. "Good morning, dear. Would you like some bacon and eggs?"
Rose eased herself into a chair and threw a blanket over her chest and nursed the baby. "That sounds wonderful! Celeste, you are too good to me!"
Celeste scooped some scrambled eggs onto Rose's plate.
Will said, "Remember, Mom, you are taking me to see Merovin today."
"Will, I don't think it's a good.."
Will glared at her. "YOU PROMISED ME!"
William turned the pages of his newspaper. "You DID promise him, Missy! And a promise is a promise."
Rose sighed. "Allright, Will. Give me an hour to wake up. Then we will go."
Will smiled and dug through the cereal box for his Spiderman tattoo. "Cool!"
Eleanor came downstairs. "You look like death warmed over. What's up?"
Rose yawned. "I have to take Will to the ranch to see his horse. And I don't want to. Hey, Eleanor, I don't suppose you'd consider..." Eleanor said, "Not on your Nellie! I have laundry to do like you wouldn't believe. But I'll tell you what. I'll watch Julie and Jenna for you. Celeste and William have an appointment."
"An appointment?"
Celeste said, "Yes. With Bruce Valentine. He's a...counselor."
Rose's eyebrows shot up. "Bruce Valentine? Isn't he a..?"
"Counselor. Just a counselor." William said.
Rose said, "But doesn't he specialize in mari..."
"Relationships. That's what he is." William said gruffly.
Rose was bewildered. "But you and Celeste aren't ma.."
William folded his paper with a distinct crinkle. "WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? MARRIED? MAN AND WIFE? MANACLED?"
Rose said, "No, I was going to say 'mad at each other'. "
William said, "Oh."

John dressed in a hurry, taking sips of coffee as he put his clothes on. He put his watch on and checked the time. It was 8:40. He grabbed his wallet and locked the door behind him.

"Are you SURE he is not in his room?" Rose asked.
The desk clerk explained patiently, "Mrs. Gwinnett, we have let it ring twenty times. There are only two reasons--actually three--why he wouldn't answer. He is either deaf, dead, or not there."
"DEAD?? YOU'D DARN WELL BETTER CHECK!!"
The desk clerk put his hand over the mouthpiece and said to the bellhop. "Hey, Reynolds! Have you seen Mr. Gwinnett in 1205 this morning?"
Reynolds said, "Yes. I saw him about five minute ago heading to that seminar with a hot redhead on his arm."
The desk clerk gulped. He went back on the phone and said, "Mrs. Gwinnett? I can assure you. The bellhop saw your husband walk into the seminar five minutes ago and he looked very lively..uh, alive!"
Rose bit her lip. "OK. Thank you. I am sorry I am such a pain in the butt."
The desk clerk softened. "No problem, ma' am. Any message you would like to leave?"
Rose brightened. "Yes! Please tell him Rose and the children miss him!"
"Children?"
Rose said, "Yes. We have three."
"Three. Well. I'll be certain he gets the message, Mrs. Gwinnett." To himself, he said, THE CHEATING BASTARD!!


PRESENTING......BRUCE VALENTINE!
by Coralynn

William parks his car next to the building; Celeste pulls in right behind him. He thinks she's silly to drive her car when she could have ridden with him, but then Celeste hasn't been very pleasant lately, that's why they're at this relationship counselor. Hopefully this counselor can straighten her out!
Celeste gets out of her car and walks toward the building as fast as she can, overtaking William who is plodding along, flings open the glass door to the place and lets it slam shut right in his face.
As she examines the directory to see which office Bruce Valentine occupies, he comes up behind her and huffs, "That was unnecessay, Celeste!"
She ignores him and walks on toward the elevator, gets in and punches '4'....the doors begins to close and William just manages to wedge them open enough to enter the elevator as well. "What is your problem?" he snorts at her.
She ignores him.
When the elevator doors open at the fourth floor, Celeste strides out, William doing double-time to keep up with her. By the time they've entered Bruce Valentine's office, William is short of breath and very cranky, but tries to smile confidently as the secretary asks if they have an appointment, yada yada yada.
"He'll see you now," the secretary tells them as the door to the inner office is flung open and an attrative man gestures to them to come in. In fact, he dances around while he tells them to come in. William thinks this is unusual, but is still determined to win the day.
When Bruce sees Celeste, dressed in her best green suit, he gushes, "My dear! That is heavenly! Turn around, oh yes, that fits perfectly, and the pretty silk scarf around your neck.....c'est magnifique!"
Celeste smiles as she takes a seat. William takes a seat and tries to smile, but this instant bonding Dr. Valentine is doing with his 'opponent' does not augur well.
Bruce gazes into Celeste's eyes with compassion, "So tell me, my dear, what brings you here? Does it have anything to do with your husband?" he waves his hand in William's direction dismissively.
"We aren't married!" William exclaims.
That makes Bruce's expression even more rapturous, "I love it! Living in 'sin' are we?"
"I don't know about you, bud, but we are not living in sin or anything like it. We happen to live in the same house, but so do several others." William feels he's put this guy in this place.
"Are they your children?" he asks Celeste, ignoring William.
"No, you see we all live together because we came from the same town and when we moved to Westchester County we decided to buy a large house together," she tells him in a most friendly tone.
Bruce throws up his hands in delight, "A commune! I didn't know people still had those! Well, I think communes were the most......incredible...."
"Our house is not a commune!" William corrects him.
Bruce never even looks William's way, but continues to address Celeste, "Whatever. So, Celeste, what seems to be the problem with........him!" he glares at William.
"His behavior of late has shown a marked tendency toward passive-agressive. He was to buy us three new computers three days ago, but he keeps putting it off, and he knows I must have one to do what needs to be done..."
Bruce gets a disgusted look on his face and comments, "I know what you're saying, my dear. My old partner, Jeffrey, was like that, too. Said he'd do something but just never quite got around to doing it. I told him to get his act together or move out."
"Did he?"
"He moved out," Bruce tells her happily, "and now my partner, Sam, who is a huge improvement over Jeffrey, does all of the housework, the shopping, the cooking......let me tell you, Celeste, the day I threw out that no good baggage Jeffrey was my lucky day!"
William harumphs...."Neither of us is moving out."
Bruce smiles artificially at William, "Don't be so sure of that. This woman is incredible, and anyone who treats her shabbily deserves to be put out on the curb with the recyclables."
"Do I get to voice my side of the story?" William says with an edge to his voice.
Bruce gets up from his leather chair and asks, "Coffee? Tea? Martini? What's your pleasure?" looking at Celeste.
"Tea would be fine, thank you."
He goes in another room to fetch her tea. William whispers loudly, "What are you trying to pull here?"
"Who, me?"
"Yes! This fellow is obviously enamored of you. Is he someone you already knew?"
Celeste tries not to grin, but fails, as she says, "Never met him before in my life. But he does seem like a first rate conselor, wouldn't you agree?"
"He's hostile toward me!" William whispers as they see Bruce come back into the room with a tray, upon which are two cups of tea. He places one carefully in front of Celeste, then puts his down on his desk, taking a sip, closing his eyes and commenting, "This herbal tea is to die for!"
William would like to ask him where his tea is, but decides to let it go. This counselor has obviously taken a dislike to him, why he doesn't know. If the man would just listen to his side of the story, he would change his tune, so William tries again.
"Celeste has been a terrible nag," he begins, "She orders me around like I was the hired help!" there, that oughta get a positive reaction.
Bruce tsk tsks and shakes his head, "You have been slothful, and if she nags you she has every right to. I mean, what are you trying to do, Gaslight her?"
William's eyes bulge out over the reference to that damned movie.
Bruce leans over the desk and makes eye contact with Celeste once more, "My dear, my advice is to hire someone to buy your computers and send the bill to......(gesturing toward Wm).....this guy!"
"That's a very good suggestion!" Celeste realizes.
William is now seething, "I said I'd do it and I will!"
"But when is the question," Bruce shoots right back, "Next Christmas? Next GroundHog's day? I think you owe this fine lady an apology."
"I will not!" William stands and heads for the door. Celeste begins to stand as well, but Bruce stops her, "Let him go, dear. He's not worth it. Now tell me, what is that divine perfume you're wearing?"
William hears this as he marches out of the office, opens the door, walks down the hall to the elevators and is soon outside again, his breath making steam in the cold November air.


GOOSE & GANDER SAUCE......by Terri

"Come on, Mom! Quit draggin' your butt!"
"Will, if I hear language like that out of your mouth again, we will not go see Merovin nor will we be having any video games for a week. Is that clear?" Rose said firmly.
Will said, "OK, OK. but please! I haven't seen Merovin since he went to Mr. Montgomery's ranch! So come ON!"
Rose turned to Eleanor and said, "You really think you can handle this, El?"
El said, "Are you forgetting the passel of kids I had with Henry? Eight..or was it nine? I forget! Now go!"
Robin came into the kitchen as Rose was reaching for her coat. "Hey, Rosamond! I didn't know you stayed overnight. I went to bed early. Where are you going?"
Rose said, "The sprogg here wants to see Merovin. You know--the big souvenir he brought back from Sherwood. So I have to go out to the ranch where he is staying."
"Mom? Can Robin go? Huh? Huh?"
Will looked hopeful. So did Robin. Rose hesitated and then said, "Oh, alright! But we have to go now!"
Robin said, "I'll get my jacket!"
Bess and Marilyn were sitting at the table with surprised looks on their faces. Rose said, "Don't look at me like that! He's just going out with me. And I don't feel like going by myself, OK?"
Marilyn said, "I didn't say a thing!"
Bess said, "Neither did I. But if I was going to.."
Marilyn stuffed a donut in Bess' mouth.

Pat McMahon reserved kick-butt seats for her and John at the seminar on sports injuries and how to prevent them. The seminar broke for lunch at 12:00.
"Care to join me for lunch, John? There is a wonderful seafood restaurant around the corner."
John hesitated. The thought of eating by himself in a new town wasn't all that appealing to him.
"OK--but first I have to call home."
Pat wrinkled her nose but John didn't see it. He dialed out on his cellphone.
No answer.
"I can't understand it. She should be home with the children. Let me try another number."
Pat tapped her foot with impatience and fiddled with her coat sleeve.
"Hello?"
"Eleanor? Eleanor, where the hell is my wife?"
"Hello to you, too, Mr. Gwinnett!"
"I'm sorry. I've been trying to reach her since yesterday. And you know Ro', she always forgets to turn her phone on. Or keep it charged."
"Relax, John. Rose went out to dinner with Marilyn, Bess and me. We needed a girls night out. Then she and the children stayed her ovenight. She didn't want to take them home so they just slept here. She just left to take Will to Montgomery's to see his horse. I'm baby-sitting the girls."
"El? YOU?"
"Yes. Me."
"How's Julie's fingers?"
"Fine. Just a little bruise on the nail but right as rain. Jenna's sleeping."
"Why isn't Celeste watching them?"
"Because she and William had a counseling session."
"COUNSELING? But they aren't married. I mean, they aren't even...ARE THEY?"
"Of course not! Don't be ridiculous! But they have been snapping at each other. Sometimes they act like an old married couple. Maybe they spend too much time together."
John was silent for a minute. "El, you don't think Celeste would ever leave us, do you?"
"Oh no! She's family! We're her kids!"
"OK. But I hate for Rose to go to Montgomery's alone."
"OH! She's not alone. Robin---"
"WHAT?"
"GottagoJohnbye!"
CLICK!

Rose drove the SUV expertly down the road.
Robin said, "This car sure handles nicely, Rose."
"Thanks. I'm a bit reluctant to take it to the ranch. But the Miata is not a cold-weather car and John usually won't let me touch his 'vette."
"Why don't you want to take this to the ranch? It's a gorgeous vehicle."
"Because Montgomery bought it for me and it's a sore spot."
"Bought it for you?"
"Yeah. When I was married to him."
"What?"
Rose sighed. "It's a long chapter and some of the pages are stuck together. And I'd rather keep it that way. But yes, I was married to Montgomery for a short while."
From the backseat, Will said, "Yeah. Mr. Montgomery was my step-father. He was nice to me. He was Julie's daddy. Then Mommy got mad and told him he wasn't Julie's daddy after all and she married my Uncle John. Who is now my Daddy."
Rose looked in her rear-view mirror and said, "Will? Why don't you eat your potato chips!"
Robin said, "So why is this car a sore spot with him?"
She said, "He bought it for me. It wasn't cheap. And in a fit of generosity, he put it in my name. When things---fell apart---I got the SUV."
"What's that thing in the back? That square piece of metal with letters."
"You mean the license plate."
"Yes. What does it mean?"
"Well, it lets the state know that it is my car.."
"No, the letters."
"OH! You mean...MINE BB."
"Yes."
Rose shrugged. "I guess the State of New York just wants to let Billy Bob know that the SUV is mine. That's all."
"OH."
"And..there it is. Over there."
A magnificent white four column house came into view. Rose sighed. I can only hope Mary Ellen is far, far away.

John picked up his cellphone and flipped it shut with a definite 'click' He stood there trying to get his feelings of..what? Jealousy? under control.
Pat came over to him and said, "Everything allright at home?"
John said, "Yeah. Peachy keen. She took our son out to see his horse."
"Oh! My! You have horses?"
"Just the one. He's been boarded at--a ranch. The stallion. Not the boy."
Pat laughed. "John, you have the most delightful sense of humor! We've got an hour and a half until the next session. Are you ready for chicken piccata and a nice bottle of Chardonnay?"
John said, "Why not? It's like gander sauce..isn't it?"
"What?"
"Never mind. Let's go!"


PLOTTING..........by Coralynn

Tiffany prints out the picture of the two guys who were hanging out in front of the post office and announces, "Perfect! Holly, I must commend you!"
Holly peers at the picture, "It is good! You can still tell who that one guy is even though half his face is hidden by that book, and the other guy's face is clear as a bell. Now what's your plan?"
"Simple! We lob another missive into their house and this time we include this picture."
"Won't they kill the guys once they know they've blown their cover?"
"Maybe. Maybe not. Not my problem! What I'm concerned about it how we deliver this one without them catching us. The first one we threw through the window came as a surprise to them. Now they'll be on the lookout."
"Yeah, just to be safe we'd better mail it, what'd'ya think, Tiff?"
"Right. It'll take longer, but better that than having them find out it's us. Now, are we going to pretend to be 'the guy with the shoulders' in our third and final blackmail note?"
"Yes!"
"If they don't pay off this time we call Salvatore Barzini's wife!"
"We do? I didn't think we were actually going to go through with that..."
"We have to. Otherwise they've called our bluff. What the hell, the woman deserves to know anyway."
"Oh wow!" Holly realizes this is getting into the big stakes.
Tiffany types out a new blackmail note and sounds as masculine as she can, "Look bud, I ain't too crazy about ya jerking my tail...." she reads to Holly.
"Sign it 'Shoulders' like that's his name!" Holly giggles. Tiffany scrawls that on the bottom of the sheet and folds it up with the picture and puts it into an evelope. "Alright Sal..........this is it. Your last chance!"

MEANWHILE:

Marilyn and Eleanor are sorting through their winter clothes, trying to match up skirts and sweaters and blouses, with clothing lying all over Eleanor's bed. "If you wear that skirt, I have just the sweater for it!" Marilyn tells her, "Hold on, let me bring it over."
She dashes into her own room, grabs the sweater, and as she is almost to Eleanor's room again sees Celeste coming up the stairs, "Hi, Celeste! How was your appointment? Come in El's room and tell us all about it."
Celeste walks into the room and slams the door shut, smiling. "Well, girls, it went just marvelously! William is even more frustrated than he was before. Seems our Bruce Valentine is a sweet gay man who hated William on sight, but he found me fascinating. So William got no backup from him, none, just looks that could kill. He's downstairs right now trying to read the morning papers he didn't get a chance to see before we left, and is he steaming! It's a wonder the newspapers don't combust."
After El and M. stop laughing, El asks, "Now what? Do you think he'll shape up?"
"Not on your life, but Bruce and I have hatched a plan!"
The other two women look at her expectantly.
Celeste sits on one of the beds and starts, "Since William is so behind the times, and has no idea what 'gay' is, Bruce is going to put on a campaign that William will consider an attempt to woo me away from here. He's going to call at least once a day, in fact I'm to phone his office whenever William is here, let it ring twice and hang up, then he'll call back. He's going to take me to museums, the opera, the ballet, you name it, I am going to be feted like a Queen."
"Sounds like fun!" Marilyn's eyes shine.
"Right. I like going to those things, and I like Bruce, so this is not going to be hard for me to do, just the opposite. William told me he thought Bruce was enamored of me which we will be more than glad to reinforce."
"William is going to think this man is going to take you away!" Marilyn exclaims.
"Oh yeah, he will in time. And while our plan is going on, Bruce and I are going to have great times at these cultural events. I won't tell William that his partner, Sam, is also part of our 'date'....."
"Hell no!" Elearnor is getting into the spirit of the thing. "let him twist in the wind!"
The three women do high fives, then Celeste puts on a poker face and slowly, casually descends the staircase as the phone begins to ring. She knows who it is, too, and she knows William will answer the phone as he can't abide hearing it ring.
By the time she's at the bottom of the stairs, William is holding the phone out in her direction as though it were contaminated, "It's for you!" he growls, then sits back down and grabs up a newspaper, but he's listening, and she knows he's listening.
"Hi Bruce! Yes, that would be lovely! Dinner and the ballet?..... Tomorrow night?.......I'm looking forward to it...........yes, wonderful...........goodbye."
William pretends to continue reading the paper, but can't concentrate. What in blazes is she doing dating a man fifteen or twenty years younger than she is? And why is he dating her?
He looks at her as she goes around the room, neatening up, and thinks, 'if this guy thinks he can get our Celeste away from us he has another thing coming!'


HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE.....by Terri

Rosamond pulled the SUV around the back by the stables. Will jumped out and ran inside the barn.
"Hey, Mr. Montgomery! I came to see Merovin!"
Billy Bob grinned, "Hey, Will! I swear, you get taller every time I see you! Where's your mom?"
"She's coming. She brought a friend with her."
"Really! Who did she bring?"
"Robin."
Oooh...Robin! Must be a girlfriend I haven't met yet!" He ran his fingers through his hair and wiped his hands on his pants. He put on his cowboy hat and went out of the barn.
"Hey, Ro---"
He stopped suddenly. "Rose?" Then he said cooly, "Who's the new friend, Mrs. Rosamond de Clifford Montgomery Gwinnettt?"
Rose bristled at the use of her formal name.
"This is Robin. He's an...old friend."
Billy Bob said, "I'll just bet he is."
Robin extended his hand. "Hi! I'm Robin."
Billy Bob said, "Thought you and John would have been good for another two years."
Rose snapped, "It's not what you think!"
Robin said, "Rose and I are old friends. I've known her since she was a teenager."
"Uh huh." BB said dubiously.
Rose said, "Look, I'm only here because Will is off restrictions now and I am dropping the feed check off at the same time. He wants to see his horse."
Billy Bob said with exaggerated politeness, "Well, then..by all means. Go visit the horse."
He looked over at the SUV and did a slow burn. "Looks like you've been taking care of the SUV. Would appreciate it if you would get a different license plate."
Rose looked at the 'MINE BB' plate and said, "Oh, I don't know...I kind of like it!"
Billy Bob said, "So...does Gwinnett know about your new 'friend'?"
Will came out of the barn. "Mr. Montgomery? Merovin looks pretty tired. Is he OK?"
BB looked steadily at Rose until she looked away. Then he said, "Oh, he's great, Will. He's just a bit worn out. After all, he's very popular among the ladies. They keep him on his hooves."
Will said, "May I please ride him a bit?"
Billy Bob said, "Well, I don't know, Will. He's a pretty big and frisky stallion."
Robin interjected, "Oh, Will can handle him like a pro. It's like that horse was made for him. I think they have a special understanding. He took Merovin and rode him for hours in Sherwood Forest. Then he and my cousin Will took him hunting and falconing. I'll be totally responsible for him."
Billy Bob said, "Well....OK. Will, you be careful. This way I can visit with your mother."
Billy Bob watched Robin help Will handle Merovin. Then he turned to Rosamond.
"Wait a minute..he's known you since you were a teenager? His name is..Robin? Sherwood Forest? You mean..you mean...."
Rose cut him off. "How much do I owe you for the feed for this month? Wasn't there a vet bill in there, too?"
Billy Bob said, "Yeah It is three hundred dollars."
Rose took out her checkbook and wrote him a check. He looked at the woman who used to be his wife.Was it only a little over a year ago that she gave him the royal adios?
Rose said, "Let's take a walk,. Billy Bob. I want to talk to you about something."
Billy Bob, his interest piqued, said, "Sure. Will? You OK with Merovin?"
Will was on the horse's back and was handling Merovin expertly. "Sure. Don't worry. Merovin knows he's MY horse instead of my father's now."
Billy Bob said, "My father? He knows?"
Rose nodded her head reluctantly. "It's a long story but yes, Will stole him from Henry."
Billy Bob pushed his hat up. "Well, I'll be. The little guy has guts, I'll give him that."
Rose said, "First of all, is your mother still here?"
Billy Bob sighed. "Yes. But she and Dad are scheduled to go back to Texas next week. She wants to get out of here before the REAL frost settles in."
Rose sighed too. "Is she in the house?"
"No, she's shopping. Dad is here."
Just as if on cue, J. R. Montgomery walked outside. He stood and stared. Then he said, "Well, I'll be! Rosamond!"
He came down the steps and walked over to her, embracing her in a hearty hug. "Damn, girl, if you aren't a sight for sore eyes! Many a time I wondered how you were getting along."
Rose found herself smiling at the man who used to be her father-in-law. "It's grand to see you also, Senator!"
He shaded his eyes. "Is that the boy? My God, girl, he's grown!" J.R. waved to Will and Will waved back. "Who is that with him? A--friend, Rose?"
Rose said, "Yes, that's Robin. I have known him for ages."
J.R. asked, "How's your husband? Treating you right?"
Rose hesitated slightly and said, "He has a business conference in Kansas City. He should be home in a few days."
Then J.R. said, "Damn, girl! You had that baby, didn't you? Know that because you're stomach isn't all pooched out!"
Rose had to laugh at the way J.R. expressed himself. She genuinely liked the man.
"John and I had another girl. She's a month old. Jenna Rose."
J.R. said, "Well, another filly! And how is little Julie? My almost granddaughter who was for a while? Still as pretty as a picture?"
Rose pulled out pictures of the children. BB stood there bouncing on his feet, wondering what Rose wanted to talk to him about. Finally, BB caught J.R.'s eye and gave him one of those 'looks'. J.R. was savvy enough to know.
"Well, Rose, darlin', it was wonderful to see you again!"
He gave her a sound kiss on the cheek and another hug and then went back in the house.
Billy Bob was wondering, could she and Gwinnett be having problems already? Is she wanting to come back? Because if she is, I'll make her crawl over broken glass first. Then see how good her beggin' is...
Rose turned to him and said, "William, I hardly know how to put this.."
He took a step closer and said, "Yes, Rose?"
She took a deep breath and said, "I hear you are seeing a woman named Tiffany Winthrop."
Billy Bob got defensive. "Yeah, so what if I am?"
Rose said seriously, "I hate to tell you this, William, but she's a..silver miner."
"Silver miner?"
Rose stamped her foot. "Dammit, you know what I mean. Not a silver miner..oh, what is that word I am looking for? I just had it on the tip of my tongue.."
"Gold digger?"
"BINGO!"

Billy Bob looked at Rose and a sardonic smile crossed his handsome features.
"Jealous, Rose?"
"Of course not! Did you know that she was Roger Bidwell's girlfriend in college?"
"Huh?"
" 'HUH' is right! She breezed into town and no one knows where she has been all these years. Eleanor found her and she and Jerry took her up to see Roger and then Tiffany tried to put the moves on him, saying things like 'we can take up where we left off'. Until she found out that Roger and Bethia have the twins. Then it was 'adios, amigo' and she was out the door so fast you could almost see those puffy little smoke clouds like they do in cartoons. She and her friend Holly..."
Billy Bob snapped his fingers. "Yeah. That's who you look like. Her friend Holly. Except Holly isn't as---" and here BB gestured with his hands out in front. Rosamond smacked his hands away.
Rose continued, "I was in the powder room at the Firenza Gardens last night---"
"Firenza Gardens? I was there."
"Billy Bob, you are interrupting me like you used to do when we were married and I HATED it!"
"Sorry. Continue."
"As I was saying, I saw her in the powder room and we were making idle chit-chat and she casually mentioned to me that her date had an ex-wife who was AN ACTRESS IN IDAHO!"
She blasted the last four words into BB's ears.
"OW! Damn! So what if I did? What are you going to do about it, Rose?"
She said, "Nothing. Boost your ego by any means that you have to. BUT LEAVE ME OUT OF IT!"
"Rose? Mind your own business."
"I wish I COULD not care. But I feel I owe you. Billy Bob, she's out to take you. Tell me, did you ever get your divorce from Wanda Sue?"
Billy Bob mumbled something.
"What?"
"Not yet. She's making it difficult."
Rose said, "A piece of advice? Stay married to Wanda Sue. At least there you know your enemy. She hasn't really made any demand on you. This Tiffany? Don't be surprised if she has a coke habit. And I don't mean the kind that's bottled in Atlanta. She's high maintenance and she's predatory."
"Like you weren't? OK, maybe not predatory. But you sure were high maintenance. You just about killed me."
"You look like you survived. Don't forget. You put me--your young wife, I might add--through a funeral. How selfish was THAT?"
"Oh, jeez, are you ever going to let up on that? You sold my stuff at a yard sale the next week. I wasn't even cold!"
"You certainly weren't! You were living the high life in Paris!"
"And you didn't hesitate to get an annulment, did you? I'm surprised you didn't bring loverboy into our house!"
Rose was getting heated up by now. "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I DIDN'T??"
Billy Bob raised his fist and slammed it down on the fence post. "OW!"
Rose said, "Well, that's gotta hurt!"
Billy Bob rubbed his hand in pain. "Mrs. Gwinnett? Do me a favor. STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!"
Rose's face flamed hot with fury. "I just felt I owed it to you. But when--not IF---this woman hangs you out to dry, don't say you weren't warned."
She walked away and stood over by the fence where her son was riding his stallion. Henry, I wish you could see him now. Both of them.

After an hour, she called to Robin and Will. "I think we had better leave. It will be time for lunch and I have your sisters to take care of."
Will asked, "McDonald's?"
She sighed. "If you feel we must."
Will dismounted and walked Merovin into the stall. He got a curry brush out and began to brush the horse. Billy Bob came into the barn and said, "Very good, Will. I appreciate you grooming him. It's very important."
Will said, "Thank you for taking care of him, Mr. Montgomery."
Billy Bob said, "You're welcome. Come any time, alright?"
Will grinned and said, "Sure thing. I'd better go. Mommy's waiting in the car."
Billy Bob walked Will to the SUV. He opened the door for him and said, "At least you are taking care of the SUV, Rose."
She said stiffly, "Thank you."
He started to walk away. She got out of the car and caught up to him.
"I didn't mean to hurt you, William. I only wanted to tell you what I know."
Billy Bob looked at the woman who used to be his wife. He said, "You never DID learn to keep your coat buttoned."
He reached over and buttoned her coat. He brushed the hair out of her face and said softly, "Thank you. But I am a grown man and can handle my own affairs."
Rose just nodded, gave his hand a quick squeeze and walked towards the truck.
She never looked back. He sighed and went back in the house.
Another Saturday. Another lifetime ago.


DESPERATION..........by Coralynn

Tony finishes reading the book and lays it down on the post office steps beside him. Looking at his watch he mentions, "Noon, Joe!"
"Yeah. It's noon already, and the guy with the shoulders hasn't shown up. Now what? Do we sit here till the sun goes down?"
"Do we have a choice?"
"No. We have to nab that guy or our lives aren't worth diddly."
Tony frowns, "So if he doesn't show by the time the post office closes, what do we do?"
"We sure as hell don't go to the Boss and tell him we failed again!" Joe says decisively.
"No, he'd have us drummed out...."
"More like rubbed out," Joe corrects the other guy.
"Ya know, Joe, I was thinking of skipping the country anyway. How does Canada sound to you?"
"Canada sounds pretty damned tempting about now," Joe nods his head, "think this old wreck of a car would get us there?"
"It wouldn't take all that long to cross the border...." Tony speculates.
"Then we'd need to find jobs because I'm not carrying any more than seventy-five dollars on me. What do you have?"
Tony pulls out his wallet and counts the bills, "Almost a hundred, but if we stay in a motel, that'll be gone in no time... yeah, we'll have to get jobs.....fast."
"We could sleep in the park! Canadians aren't crazed like Americans are. We'd be safe."
"It's almost Thanksgiving, Joe. Cold here, colder in Canada. We'd freeze in the park."
"Jeeeez, I sure wish we knew somebody up there who could take us in," Joe rubs his nose on his sleeve.

MEANWHILE:

Sally is restless again. "I want to use the time travel coin. If we have to wait till Wandasue is installed as mayor to whisk her out of here, that's weeks away. What say we just take a little jaunt over to London?"
"Ontario or England?" Penelope asks.
"England, of course!"
"It'd be nice to have some men with us...."
Sally gets that steeling look whenever men are mentioned, "No men! Why would we take men?"
"For protection. Also, we wouldn't look like two women who liked each other a little too much."
"HUH?"
"You know. Women who love on each other...."
"Euuuuuuuuuuu!" Sally wrinkles her nose.
"You say that no matter which gender is mentioned, Sally! Sheesh, don't you have any natural urges?"
"I don't think so, but if you think a couple men would help us look more 'normal' then I guess we could take some, but it would have to be understood: no hanky-panky."
"Who do we know we could take?" Penelope searches through her mental file of male acquaintances.
"I don't know one decent man," Sally pronounces.
"Well, Sal, with you, 'decent' and 'man' are mutually exclusive! But I can't come up with any either. John Gwinett would be fun, plus it would be delightful to stick it to that Rosamond witch."
"Nawww, he's too savvy, he'd be on to us the minute he saw us coming at him!"
"Yeah. Well, tell ya what, if we can't find any, then we go alone, those are the breaks!" Penny concludes as they go outside and get in her car. "I have to buy some stamps first, then off we go."
They park at the post office and try to walk up the stairs, but there are two guys lounging thereon, which makes it necessary for them to squeeze way over to the right to get past.
"We have to get the hell out of here!" Joe tells Tony, which, of course, Penelope hears. She and Sally go into the post office and buy stamps, then, before they leave, Penny whispers, "How about those two guys outside? That one said they have to get out of here."
"They're probably wanted by the Police!" Sally quips.
"Who cares? They're cute!" Penny is out the p.o. door before Sally has a chance to restrain her.
Sally has just caught up with Penny when the latter woman reaches into Sally's pocket, yanks out the time travel coin, puts one hand on Sally's arm and the other around the back of the two guys who are conveniently sitting close together, and thinks of her destination.

Joe and Tony look around them, amazed. "What just happened?" Joe yells out.
"You are in London," Penny informs him.
"London, Ontario or London, England?"
"England, of couse!" Sally tells him with a hard edge to her voice.
Joe and Tony look at each other, totally dumbfounded, then Tony says the worst possible thing, "You gals hookers?"
Sally hits him so hard in the midsection he is still doubled over as he sees the two women walk quickly away, turn a corner and disappear.
"How'd we get to London?" Joe asks, looking around at what certainly does appear to be Jolly Olde.
"Weird, this is weird," Tony comments as he is finally able to stand up straight again, "but hey, we said we had to get away, and this is most definitely away!"