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ELEANOR, CANDIDATE.......by Coralynn

The garbage pails clang so loudly that Eleanor goes to the door and opens it, glancing out at the truck that's reponsible for picking up the garbage in the town.
She sees the containers upended, some of them still half full, and races down to talk to the driver, who glances out at her with a quizzical look.
"HEY! You up there!" she storms, "Why can't you guys pick up the garbage without making an insufferable racket and strewing half of it all over the road?"
"We do the best we can!" he sneers at her.
"No you most certainly do not! Who owns this company, anyway? I see 'town of Chappaqua' painted on the side of your truck, but there's another name under it...."
"Yeah, the company is owned by Charlie Wells, the mayor's brother!" he says matter-of-factly, "used to be named Wells Garbage Disposal, but..........well.........they changed it."
"So we wouldn't know there was nepotism afoot, is that it?"
"I don't know what that big word you used means, but..........well, ya get to be mayor, you get to pass out favors to your family and close friends, that's the way business is done, lady!" he yells as he revvs up the motor and goes on to the next house down the street.

She pounds back into the house, picking up William's five newspapers on the way, throwing them on the table angrily.
William is still tying his robe as he sees Eleanor do this and enters the kitchen, asking, "What's got you all steamed up, El?"
"The mayor, what's his name...."
"Vince Wells..." William supplies it.
"Yeah, well, Vince Wells gave the contract for garbage disposal to his brother, Charlie, and it's been a disaster. I wonder what other jobs this guy handed out to his incompetent relatives?"
"Welllllllll," William tries to remember, "I heard that the Police Chief is his cousin, and the head of the local electric company is his uncle..."
"When does this guy come up for re-election again?" she asks with a determined look on her face that William has come to dread.
"Couple months, give or take."
"How does one go about running against him?"
"You need to get a whole bunch of names on a petition to have your name added to the ballot, but ya know, I heard that family has been running this town for the past 20 years. Good luck to anyone who tries to get rid of them."
Robin hears voices and joins them, "I say, Queen Eleanor, what has you upset?"
"This town is riddled with corruption! I'm going to run for mayor!"
William groans, as Robin's eyes light up, "I can help! Do you need me to mount attacks upon the bad people? I still remember how to do it. Ahhhhhh, the good old days, driving the Sheriff of Nottingham round the bend. I'm good at it, really good!"
"I'm going to get a bunch of petitions and you can help me get signatures!" Eleanor smiles at him, then adds, "You'd better not refer to me as Queen Eleanor in front of other people. We're here incognito, as you probably know."
Robin laughs heartily, "I shall call you Eleanor the next mayor of the town!"
"That's the attitude!" she claps him on the back while William looks up from his newspaper and shakes his head. Eleanor has to make herself a target, does she? This is not in line with his original idea of them all 'blending in.'


ANOTHER HOUSEWARMING coming up.......by Coralynn

Marilyn is taking a bowl down from the cupboard when the phones rings. She reaches over and snatches it up as she opens the silver-ware drawer for a spoon.
"Beth! Yes! We're all set for tonight! Right...........8 o'clock over at Rose and John's house..........don't worry about that, I'm having it catered...............sure, we all love your Apple Brown Betty, bring it!................pretty casual, yeah.................(laughs)..........we figured we could give the men this one........right..........William just told me that Eleanor plans to run for mayor...............yeah, of the town here..........................sure she could do it....................she'll be back from filling out the papers and getting petitions pretty soon.....................yes, she sure does move fast once she gets an idea.........................OK, then, as soon as your baby sitter arrives, come over to Rose's........................see ya then!"

Bess is sitting at the table with a sad expression. "Why so glum, chum?" Marilyn asks.
"Marthy and Jack will be moving into their own house in a couple weeks, and I'm going to miss her like crazy!"
"I know, our household is shrinking before our very eyes. You won't be here all that much longer, either, after you and Slim marry. Have you set a date?"
Bess plays with the salt celler, pushing it around from one place to another, then finally replies, "Maybe I'm too young to marry anyone. It seems like my youth is whizzing by and I still haven't had all the fun that Mary Tyler Moore had on her TV show., and a lot less fun than they had on "Sex and the City!"
"Those were TV shows though, Bess, and things always look more glamorous on those."
"Still......"
"Getting serious cold feet?"
"Ohhhh, I don't know, I guess so. What if there's another guy out there more exciting, more adventurous, more charasmatic, more...."
"Like our new family member, Robin?"
Bess' face flames, "Right."
"He sure is one hunka hunka burnin' love!" Marilyn laughs, "but Bess, Slim knows how to live in the 21st century. He's plugged into real life. Robin is almost a fantasy person. How will he do once his swagger and shine becomes commonplace to us? Remember Rafe? You thought you loved him back in 1775 because he was a larger than life character, a highwayman, a rogue, someone exciting...."
"He sure has changed!" Bess remarks, "Once he reformed, thanks to Dr. Phil, he's become rather boring."
"See? They all do, Bess. Nobody can keep up that wildman routine for long."
"But Robin is so cute!" Bess all but drools.
"If you're attracted to other men, I don't think it would be fair to marry Slim or anyone else until you're sure that you want to limit yourself to just that one man. I'd hate to see you marry him only to leave him because he's boring."
Bess sighs and scrunches up her face in thought, then says, "Thanks for the advice, Marilyn. We'll see, we'll see."

MEANWHILE:

WandaSue is so bored she can hardly stand it. Even the Jerry Springer show doesn't entertain her anymore. She bought a puppy to keep her company, and all Paws has done is tinkle on the carpet and chew up her bedroom slippers.
"Paws," she addresses the dog, "I need some excitement in my life! You're the only person I get to talk with, and you're not even a person. Where did I go wrong?"
The dog whimpers and crawls up on her lap, licking her face.
"I'd go trawling for trouble tonight if I just had someone to do it with," she continues, "but right now I don't have a single friend in this world."

MEANWHLE:

James Philbrook Livingston lines up the large collection of makeup he just bought at the drug store and comments to David, aka Michelangelo's Statue, "It may take several coats of foundation to cover up that sheen you have there. When we go to the housewarming party tonight you'll fit right in."
"Just try to make it look like skin," David requests, "I feel like my old self until I see my reflection in a mirror and then the statue-ey look brings me back to the reality that you can't steal the body of a stautue without taking on some of its characteristics."
"You know that, how? Has anyone else ever done it?" Jim asks.
"I haven't yet met anyone else who came from a statue, but it stands to reason," David replies.
Jim slathers David's arms with "gypsy moonlight" foundation. It glides on easily and makes his skin a nice tanned color.
Handing a mirror to David, he asks, "What do you think of this shade? Too light, too dark?"
"Looks fine to me," David answers, "just try to get it on evenly." He sees a darker streak running the length of his forearm.
Jim hands the other man a beer, which spills as he transfers it from his hand to David's.
The beer totally rinses off the foundation where it splashes.
"Oh oh!" Jim dashes for a towel and wipes off David's arm. The statue sheen shows through clearly.
"I know! I have it! We'll use self-tanning lotion!" he reaches for a large container of that and, after removing the rest of the foundation, proceeds to apply it liberally over every exposed inch of skin on David's body.
"This doesn't change the color," David complains.
"Give it time, it will, it will!" Jim is so enthusiastic he slathers David liberally. When he comes to the other man's face, he makes sure he doesn't miss one inch of skin, even covering David's ears. He stands back and pronounces, "In about an hour you'll see yourself all tanned and looking very much like a complete person. If you aren't tanned enough, I can put on another coating. This tan won't wash off, either."
"If you say so," David gets up from the chair, all sticky, and walks to a shelf that contains books, "You read any of these?" he asks.
"Hell no!"
"Mind if I do?"
"Be my guest!"

MEANWHILE:

Henry8 is buttoning a frilly shirt, doing it wrong every time. One part hangs way below the other part, so he begins again. "Blast!" he yells out.
"I thought tonight's party was casual," Luke, aka Beethoven, remarks, "You don't need to wear a fussy shirt anyway, Henry!"
"Well, I'm wearing jeans, that's casual."
"Suit yourself," Luke laughs as he sees Henry8 again try to line up the buttons with the buttonholes and failing.
"Word has it they have a new person over at the big house," Henry comments, "You know anything about it?"
"Yes, I was talking with Eleanor this morning, and she said that since there are no other men in the house anymore that William decided to go get one. He went back and fetched Michelangelo."
"Really? Why?"
"Maybe he wanted someone intelligent in the house, and from all the paintings and sculptures and drawings he did for inventions that were eventually brought into reality, he figured the guy had to have a pretty high IQ."
"HUH!" Henry responds, partially to what Luke just said and partially to his finding out he had once again done up the buttons on his shirt incorrectly, then, "Will Michelangelo be at the housewarming over at Rose and John's house tonight?"
"I suppose. You know William......he has to show off what a master time traveler he is!"
"Big egotist if you ask me!" Henry8 grumbles, knowing that if William were buttoning his shirt, he'd get it right on the first try.

MEANWHILE:

Penelope Patterson answers the phone and hears the silky voice of Biff Murdock, "What can I do ya for?" she asks. Why is he calling me, she's wondering. We're not really friends.
"Tell me," he asks, trying to sound casual, "what do you know about Roseamund and Eleanor?"
"Probably more than you do!" she answers, tossing a stray cat they just took in off the kitchen table.
"Remember the junket for Time and Chance?"
"Sure!" she wants to laugh, but retrains herself.
"Well," and at at this point his voice becomes softer and more conspiratorial, "I was in the dining room of the hotel we stayed in, late at night, and Eleanor and Rose and a few others came in, sat for quite awhile and said the most 'intersting' things!"
"Did they see you there?"
"No! That's just it. They had no idea I could hear them because they never even looked over to the corner where I was sitting."
"Uh huh!"
"I heard them talk about.......time travel, I swear it!" his voice rises excitedly.
"Did they now?" she wonders where all this is going.
"Yes! Do they time travel?"
"Well, maybe they do, and maybe they don't!" she decides to be noncommittal until she finds out what's in it for her.
"OK, here's the deal. I have a friend who's a reporter for the National Enquirer and I told him I might, I just might have a scoop for him. If I could blow the lid off about Eleanor and Rose being time travelers......they even mentioned a coin.......I could make about a quarter of a mil off it."
"Hmmm, they'd pay that much, would they?"
"Oh yes! This would be an exclusive, too. Their paper would fly off the shelves!" he's now getting very excited.
Penny ponders this situation and, after running it through the 'what's in it for me' part of her brain, asks, "What's in it for me, anyway, Biff?"
"Uhhhh, I hadn't thought of that!" he dithers.
"Well, think of it!" she hangs up, thinking that chances are Biff will call back within minutes when he realizes he can get the story of the century if he shares the booty.
"Who was that?" Sally asks.
Penny laughs, "Just some guy who wants to break a big story about time travel, and thinks I'm going to tell him. Not without a big payday I'm not."
Sally looks worried, "If you do that, though, Penny, we'll be 'outed' as well!"
"Not necessarily, not necessarily," Penny says confidently, "and if it happens, hey, we have your coin. We can always relocate to a different century, maybe one in the future!"
Sally still has a concerned look on her face as sure enough, the phone again begins to ring.

I can tell that guy Biff how they came back and got me out of the eighteenth century!" Sally begins to get into the spirit of the thing.
"And how about them sending you to the Exodus, and how about when they sent WandaSue to 1692 Salem?"
"Too bad we're on the outs with WandaSue, she probably has better evidence than even we do," Sally realizes.
"Well, yeah, that's true, but do we want to get involved with her again? Do we want to share our ill-gotten gain with her?"
"She is pretty greedy," Sally admits, "And she steals our time travel coin a lot. Hey! I know! We can take Biff some place with my coin to prove it to him."
"I thought you didn't want to be 'outed,'" Penny reminds her, "Let's rethink this. If we don't want him to know about US, then maybe we oughta get WandaSue, then the only person he'll have the goods on is her, not us."
Sally ponders this conundrum, "If we stick to just what Eleanor and Rose and those guys are, and leave out what they did to some of us, we could protect our own time travel, but we don't have any first hand proof."
"We can always doctor some photos!" Penny suddenly says, excitedly.
"How will we say we got them?"
"We can tell Biff we found them lying around the big house on Winding Willow when we went on a recon!"
"I don't know, Penny. Since when did they have cameras back in the 12th century?"
"They took the cameras with them! Yes, that's what we can say they did. They went back for some cokamamie reason and brought back the pictures."
"If we could just get proof NOW, though........maybe we could go to their house with a hidden camera and a wire."
"Hmmm, Sal, now there's an idea! Go to their house and somehow get them talking about time travel, get pictures, get it all on tape....."
"Then we wouldn't have to admit we time travel, too."
"This is going to take some planning....." Penelope says as the phone again begins to ring.

The solution to her problem hits her just as Penelope picks up the phone.
"Hi, Biff!...........sure I knew it was you...............ah-ha! So they went for the half mil, did they? That was smart........................but, ya know, I could take this story to the 'Star' and pocket an entire million myself.....................that's right, the price just went up!........................stop sniveling!..........................good, then I'll await you call.........................bye."

Sally asks with a very confused look on her face, "What'd ya do that for?"
"Well, I could take it to the 'Star,' not that I feel like it, but I could. Here's what we're going to do and say. First off, who says those rags need proof of anything anyway? Ever see the headline about this celebrity or that one who has a 3-headed baby?"
"Yeah, but they have a picture of it on the front page," Sally points out.
"Ever hear of computer generated photography? Those aren't real pictures. But, anyway, here's what I'm going to tell that Biff idiot: I'm going to say they are indeed time travelers and tell him just who they really, really are.......then I'm going to tell him that they took me to the Exodus."
"But then you'd be outed!" Sally reminds her.
"Oh no, not really, because they did it, not me. I'm just an innocent victim of their black magic, ya get it?"
Sally runs that through her mind, then grins, "Yeah. You haven't time traveled on purpose. They did it, not you."
"Exactamundo!" Penny laughs, "and for that we get a half mil. Don't look so skeptical. Biff'll get them to up the price, because I just gave him the idea of telling them that the 'Star' would pay that, which they probably would, so, if he has any working braincells, he'll use that reasoning on the 'Enquirer.'"
"Great! Now all we have to do is wait for him to call back!"
"Five, four, three, two, one...." the phone rings.


DIAMOND EARRINGS........by Coralynn

"Hurry, Sheila! We should be leaving in about ten minutes!"
"Why? We have hours yet!" Sheila affixes the diamond earrings onto her earlobes.
"We haveta stop and get them a present, though," Vinnie explains.
"We can do that....."
"I thought the invitation said 'casual,'" Vinnie frowns, "what's with the diamonds?"
"I just can't resist! Ever since those wonderful ladies gave us part of their 1643 House winnings, I've been dying to wear these. But the rest of me is dressed casual."
"I suppose ya could get away with diamonds, just this once," Vinnie realizes how much it means to his wife to wear something elegant, something she's never been able to do before.
Sheila brightens, "And they'll be happy to see that I got something like this! Those people are so kind and unselfish. It was a lucky day for us when they first got in you cab!"
"That's the plain truth," Vinnie reminisces, "They were new to this country, I think, and some of them were real confused. Except William, of course, who had a good handle on things."
"That William is surely a smart guy," Sheila comments as she grabs her light jacket and follows Vinnie out to the new car they recently purchased, gets in and sighs as she sits on the leather bucket seat. The tan leather bucket seat, the same color as the couches in the big house.

MEANWHILE

"You realize that in less than two weeks we'll be having a housewarming?" Marthy reminds Jack.
"What do we still need, though? The money the winners of the 1643 House gave us made it so we could put a large down-payment on the house, and we ordered the basic furniture...."
"Oh there are a lot of little things, don't think there won't be anything left to get," Marthy smiles, "They have such good taste, too."
"Yes they do. Must come from being Royalty!" Jack laughs.
"They aren't all royalty. Bethia is from 1640 Southold, Long Island, for instance. William and Rose and El rescued her from a brutal husband."
"Really?"
"Yes. And Luke was born in 1770 as Ludwig van Beethoven."
"He was?!"
"You knew that!" she kids him.
"No, I didn't. Beethoven?"
"And Marilyn is really a movie actress who was supposed to die in 1962!"
"Wouldn't the world be in shock if they knew where these people really were?" Jack speculates.
"And Mike.....he's from the fabled land of Atlantis and he was probably born way long before any of the rest of us...."
Jack gets into the spirit of the moment, "And Hotspur! Way back in the middle ages! And of course Eleanor of Aquitaine and Rosamund Cifford and William the Conqueror...."
Marthy gives him a hug, "And us, Jack, peasants from the time of Henry2."
"Peasants? What are you saying, woman? Not anymore!"
"No, not anymore, thanks to William. How can we ever repay him?"
"Name our first child after him?"
"Ohhhh, we'll think of something," she replies, giving him a little squeeze before she goes to change into her jeans.

MEANWHILE:

"No, we certainly are not going to give Rose and John copies of our books for a housewarming present, Bill. What an awful idea."
"Just kidding!" he laughs.
"Well, I should hope so! James Philbrook Livingston, who now has more money than God, loved getting them at his housewarming, but that's him. Rose and John on the other hand....."
"Are a lovely couple," Bill remarks, "So what did we get them?"
"I got them a plaque for their house. It says, "The Gwinetts: John, Rose, Will, Julie"....and there are several blank spaces for other children's names," Hillary holds it up so Bill can examine.
"That poor woman! How many kids did John say he wanted?"
"I think she told me he said he wanted eight!" she laughs as she puts the plaque back into the box and covers it up again.


TAN? WHAT TAN?.........by Coralynn

David has been watching the clock and after one hour on the dot he examines his tan in the mirror, then informs Jim, "This isn't much of a tan yet."
"You may need another coat," Jim fetches the bottle of self-tanning lotion and gestures for David to sit down again. "I'll put an even thicker coat of this stuff on this time."
He slathers the other man with the goop, then stands back and remarks, "Sure hope it gets rid of that statue sheen of yours."
"Me too!" David sees that in a couple more hours they'll have to get ready for the housewarming, "What are we wearing to this party?"
"Oh jeans, stuff like that. The Fab Five brought over a pair for you.....they're in your closet."
Jim goes into his own room and sorts through the myriad of shirts he now has, looking at one, then another, holding up a polo shirt that matches his eyes, then nodding, flinging it on the bed as the winner.
When he returns to the kitchen, where he left David sitting on a chair, he notices that the bottle of self tanning lotion is almost empty. "Did this get spilled?" he asks.
By now David is dripping lotion all over the floor and looks up sheepishly, replying, "I thought another coat of it couldn't hurt."
Jim wipes up the mess. "For sure you'll be the belle of the ball!" he laughs.

MEANWHILE:

Mickey, aka Michelangelo, is trying to get into the jeans supplied to him by William, who had decided a quick trip to the store was in order and just returned with the clothing for his new house mate.
"My God, how do you people breathe in these?" Mickey groans as he zips them up.
"You'll get used to it in time. We all did."
"But you've lived here your entire lives!" Mickey points out.
"Oh no, we all came here, well most of us came here, from other timeframes. I was..........are you ready for this? a King! How about them apples?"
"This whole thing is sureal," Mickey comments, "And I suppose at this party we're going to my STATUE will be there wearing these.....'jeans'......too?"
"I'm sure he will be," William assures him.
"Where did I go wrong?" Mickey puts his head in his hands, "Why didn't I realize someone had slipped into the statue? And, and......learned to read while he was in there! this is bizarre."
"Ahh, you'll get used to it, friend. Think of it as an adventure."
"But I don't want an adventure. I just want my statue to be 13 feet tall again and up on that pedestal and I want to take him back to Italy!"
"Well, like you told Celeste, you have till tomorrow to decide. Not to worry!" William pretends cheerfulness, but realizes that he may have made a mistake zapping the poor fellow to the 21st century without asking his permission.
"Think my statue may be a statue again when we get to this party?" Mickey looks up hopefully.
"We'll just go and find out!" William answers, knowing full well that Mickey is in for a disappointment.

MEANWHILE:

Another hour has elapsed. Jim is relaxing with his drug of choice when he hears David in the other room exclaim, "THAT'S tan, now that is tan!"
Jim goes into the other room and sees a black man standing before the mirror smiling from ear to ear.


JOHN'S GREEN EYED MONSTER.....by Terri

John looked under the bed for his shoes. He found one of them and turned it upside down to get a dog bone out of it. As usual.
"Ro', which dog is it that keeps doing this?"
She was looking through her jewelry box. "I think it is Belle. She's got a nesting urge. Or maybe she is just storing it up for lean times. They do that, you know."
John found the other shoe in the bathroom behind the door.
"At least she doesn't chew them up. Why do we have to have a housewarming anyways? I am getting kind of tired of all these parties and social events you women plan."
She found a pair of earring she wanted and as she fastened them, said, "Get used to it, John. Didn't you have parties in the 1630's?"
"NO! We maybe had a barn-raising or a wake. Mostly the social life consisted of meeting down at the Red Goose Inn and the women did their quilting and spinning together."
"Did Elizabeth?"
"I don't know. I guess so."
"John? Do you ever think about Southold?"
"Yeah, I guess I do. Some of my friends. Especially Little Feather."
"He really saved us. I owe him."
John put his arms around her, kissed her forehead and said, "So do I, love."

They went downstairs to greet their friends. The doorbell rang and Eleanor and Jerry came in.
Jerry laughed, "I have to tell you, a housewarming is a refreshing change from some of the social situations I have been in with the two of you! Why is it that if there is a disaster brewing, John, you and Rose are at the maelstrom of it all?"
John laughed and said, "I don't think it is me. It's her."
Jerry said, "Oh, and who brought the time travel coin on our cruise and was responsible for our pirate adventure?"
"Ok, I guess it was me."
Jerry picked up his drink and saluted John. "And a damn exciting adventure it was, too!"
The doorbell rang again. John yelled, "Just come on in! No one needs to ring or knock here!"
William and Celeste came in with Robin and 'Mickey'. Mickey just sat there glum. John nodded to him. Then to William he said, "What is he so bummed about?"
William said, "He's upset because his favorite piece of marble came to life like some sort of Pinocchio!"
Robin came over and shook John's hand. He looked very GQ in a new pair of jeans and pullover shirt. John felt a twinge of jealousy but pushed it down.
"Can I get you anything to drink, Robin?"
"A beer if you have it, John."
John nodded and popped open a Michelob. Robin looked around. "Beautiful house, John."
John said, "My wife is the decorator. I just pay the bills."
He emphasized the words 'my wife' as a possessive pronoun.
Roger and Bethia came in. "Rog! Beth!"
Roger came over and joined the men. "How about golf on Wednesday? Unless I have a baby to deliver."
Jerry and John agreed. Roger turned to Robin and said, "Would you care to join us?"
Robin was dubious. "I don't know how to play."
Jerry said, "That's alright. John didn't know either until we taught him. Now he can whip the pants off us!"
Robin smiled and said, "Then I accept!...ah! There's Rosamond!" He hurried over to her and gave her a kiss on her cheek.
John frowned but didn't say a word. Roger noticed it and said, "John, don't let it worry you. He doesn't know many people, he's trying to see how this century will suit him. Rosamond is the reason he is here. She feels kind of responsible to him and they were friends before."
John took the ice pick and broke up the ice in the cooler a little more forceful than usual. "Yeah. But why is it MY wife who always gets these good-looking guys hanging on her? First it was my brother. Then Montgomery. Who she up and marries. Then Slim. Let's not forget Hotspur. Am I leaving anyone out?"
Jerry said, "There was always Henry Plantagenet."
John snapped, "Thanks for reminding me, Jerry!"
Roger looked at his friend and said to himself, 'well, I'll be! John Gwinnett is...JEALOUS!'
And if John wasn't one of his best friends, Roger would have found it funny. But it wasn't. Because John was not the jealous type. Until now.


GETTING IT ON FILM.........by Coralynn

Penelope Patterson picks the phone up on the second ring, "Penny here, start talking!"
"Penelope, this is Allan Smith, I'm a reporter for the National Enquirer, I think Biff Murdoch told you about me, and has also passed on the information you gave him earlier."
"Right!"
"Since the paper is going to press, even as we speak, we want to include a picture of the people involved. Where would be the best place to get this?"
"Winding Willow is jumping with those people. They've bought several houses on that street, made it into some kind of Cult Commune. So, if you send a photographer over there, just look for a house with a lot of lights on, because they gather almost every night in someone's house. My theory is that they conduct secret rituals, and since there's a full Moon tonight, your photographer oughta be able to get a real dandy."
"OK, sounds good! Thanks!" Allan Smith rings off.

Penny smirks and tells Sally, "This oughta really blow the lid off! Plus we get a half a mil."
"When you say 'we,' do you mean we split it?"
"Uhhhh, maybe, maybe not!" Penny evades a direct answer, puts on her jacket and starts for the door, "You coming with me?"
"Where are you going?"
"I thought we might just park down the street a ways and see the fun for ourselves!"
Sally follows her out of the house and soon they're making their way toward Winding Willow.

MEANWHILE:

As Marilyn and Moose enter the party, Eleanor greets them by handing them some paperwork. "These are petitions to get my name on the ballot!" she tells them happily.
Moose grins, "I wondered why there was a big sign in your front yard saying 'Eleanor for Mayor, sign a Petition Today!' Where do we take these so people can sign?"
"I have locations written on post-it notes on top of each petition. Just do it when you have time. I'd do it all myself but time's running out and I can't be everywhere at once."


AT THAT VERY MOMENT:

Bob Sloan parks his unmarked car and hauls out his camera which is the heavy-duty one that weights a ton. He asked for a smaller digital model, but those were all being used by people tracking down Space Aliens, so he got the leavings. He hauls it onto his shoulder and heads for the house with all the lights blazing, as Allan Smith advised. He walks to the side of the house and peers in through a window.
He sees a gathering of ordinary looking people, and wonders what the fuss is all about. Allan didn't tell him what the expose was about, but if it's about these people it sure doesn't have anything to do with space aliens or three headed babies. Why on earth is he so eager to get these people on film?

He notices some arrivals, some people walking, other driving their cars up the driveway. He hides behind a bush and peers around it to see who these people are. Maybe they're the weird ones Allan wants pictures of. He sees ordinary people get out of one car, and other regular folk walk up to the door of the house and go inside. He waits to see who's in the other car, and when he sees them, steps back even further behind the bushes. This has to be the piece de resistance, the Clintons! Yes! that's who Allan is after! Of course!
He inches out from behind the bush, and by cover of darkness steals up until he has a good shot of the Clintons in his lens viewer. Just as he's about to snap a photo, he feels someone grab him by the back of the neck and yank him from his crouching position. "HEY!" he yells, struggling to free himself.
The person whirls him around, yanks away his camera and glowers at him. Bob is terrified. This is a large man with unruly red hair and beard like someone out of Viking mythology.
"What are you doing out here?" the Viking asks in a deep voice, a voice to strike terror into the bravest heart.
"Ummmmm," Bob tries to remember any of the names of the people Allan told him about and finally fixes on one, "Eleanor said to take pictures!" he grins sheepishly at the Viking, who releases him and marches straighaway into the house.
Bob is shaking by now and decides to get some pictures as fast as he can and get the hell out of there lest any more of these big bruisers confront him. What is this, a gathering of football players? he wonders as he sneaks to a side window and trains his camera at whoever is inside. Snapping as fast as he can, he counts 30 pictures, then beats it back to his car, not knowing just what he photographed, but figuring it will have to do!
Just as he's about to put the camera into the car, he sees two women who are obviously going to the soiree walking up the sidewalk; snaps their picture as well, then puts the behemoth of a camera into the car, gets in and drives away.

Sally Jennings yells out, "HEY! What was that?!"
Penny replies, as spots from the flash are still messing up her eyesight, "That goofus took pictures of US!" and runs after the car, but it's too late.


MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.....by Terri

Hotspur came into the party and headed directly for the appetizers. Eleanor whispered to Rose, "There goes the food!"
Rose said, "I'd better get another tray. I thought Mike was instructed to stop at McDonald's and load him up with food first."
Hots came over to where Rose and El were standing and munching a few dozen shrimps, said, "Hey, Rosamond! There was some guy with a huge camera in your bushes. I grabbed him by the neck for you."
Rose said, "I wonder if he was from Architectural Digest. But why wouldn't they come in?"
Bethia said, "Maybe they just wanted exterior shots at night."
Robin joined the women and said, "Rosamond, this is wonderful food! What do you call this?"
Rose looked at it and said, "Those are buffalo wings, Robin! You put hot sauce on it and broil it and then..."

John was sitting at the bar watching his wife and Robin. He did a slow burn. He watched Robin touch Rose's arm and Rose smile up at him. Roger said, "Don't let it upset you, John. They are old friends. Nothing ever went on between them."
Jerry piped in with, "Yeah. And besides, she's preggers. But then, some guys find that really sexy. You know, the Lady Madonna syndrome. An outward visible sign of their femininity."
Roger shot Jerry a look. Jerry continued. "I mean, what could be sexier than a woman procreating? Men have been fascinated ever since Adam and Eve and YOW!! Roger! You stepped on my foot! What's the big deal?"
Roger said, "Oh! Sorry, Jerry! It must have been an accident."
Jerry rubbed his foot and said, "I swear, between you and Eleanor, I am going to be a cripple!"
John stared at them. Robin said something and the three women laughed.
John said to Roger and Jerry, "He's having a little too much fun. Maybe we should introduce him to some nice woman?"
Roger looked over at Bess and said, "Maybe we should get our resident bubble-head a lobster bib. Because I haven't seen anyone drool that much since our Golden Retriever got hold of a toad!"

Robin and Rose were laughing over a story that they were telling.
Robin said, "You should have seen the look on Rosamond's face when..."
Rosamond cut in with, "I couldn't help it! You looked so funny!"
Robin continued with, "Well, she said that was the only time she.."
"NOT TRUE!" Rosamond dissolved into laughter.

John looked at Roger and Jerry and said, "I think it is about time to break up that little teaparty over there."
Jerry said, "Hey, John, don't blow your cool! She's just trying to be a gracious host!"
John picked up his drink and headed towards Rose and Robin who were talking to Moose and Marilyn.
Robin was saying, "..and you should have seen the time she.."
"NO! Don't tell that story!"
More laughter. John joined the group. He swirled his drink.
"Well, you two seem to be having a good time together." He tried to make it sound genial but a touch of sarcasm came through. It was lost on everyone but Rose.
She tried to make up for it by encircling her arms around John.
Robin said, "I was just telling about the time Rose's horse dashed into the water and I had to lasso him with vines. But the vines didn't come down and the horse ended up with all four hoofs off the ground!"
Marilyn and Moose laughed. Rose looked at John and bit her lip.
John said, "Darling? Let's check to see if the caterers have enough food. Would you excuse us?"
John took Rose firmly by the elbow and led her into the kitchen.
Rose looked around. "Seems to be enough food, John. See? There are platters of meat and cheese and.." "What is the big idea, Rose?"
Rose shook her head, her eyes wide. "I don't know what you mean, John. I am not doing anything except trying to make everyone feel at home."
John said evenly, "Well, don't over-do it. I didn't realize how much history you shared with Robin of Locksley."
Rose exclaimed, "Is that what this is about? You are--JEALOUS!"
"Don't be ridiculous! I am not! It's just...."
"What?"
"I just don't want Locksley to get the wrong idea. You know?"
Rose kissed his cheek and said, "I know. But never fear. You are lord of the manor and have the key to my heart!"
She went back to the party and left John in the kitchen. He frowned and kicked the waste basket. No damage. And he didn't feel any better.


THE CRUSH.................by Coralynn

Moose nudges Marilyn gently and nods his head in the direction of where Bess is standing, trying to listen in on all the funny things Robin is telling the others.
"What's that all about?" he asks.
"I think she's smitten," Marilyn replies, as they see Bess approaching. She's flushed and nervous.
"Moose," she begins, "You write romance novels. Ever think of writing one about him?"
"Him?" Moose asks, knowing full well to whom she's referring.
"Yes, Robin."
"I think more than enough books have been written about him already," he tells her casually.
"Well, I was reading up on him just this very morning, and the only woman in his life was that simp Maid Marion. She was a camp follower, know what I mean?"
"Yes, but I'm surprised you know what you mean!" he laughs, then says seriously, "Come over here," leading her to an area apart where others cannot hear.
"Now, for an engaged woman, I'm surprised that you have this much interest in Robin."
"Ohhhhhh, uhhhh, yeah."
"You appear to be rather smitten with Robin. Do you think that's proper since you're engaged to Slim, a very fine gentleman?" he puts in a plug for the other man.
She raises her eyes, which have been downcast, and takes a deep breath, "But, Moose, I have yet to experience adventures like on the Mary Tyler Moore show or on Sex and The City!"
"Oh my," he exhales loudly, "what are you doing engaged to anyone if you feel this way?"
"I thought I loved Slim, I kinda do, I sorta do. But he's so normal, so regular, so ordinary...."
"As are we all," Moose assures her.
"Robin is not ordinary!" as she begins to raise her voice he motions for her to keep it soft.
She whispers, "I can't help it! When I look at Robin I feel like I've been plugged into an electrical socket."
"My dear, you must decide and do so right now. Are you ready for a serious committment to Slim? to any one man? I would suggest you make up your mind what you want, and if you don't want to be engaged, break it off, the sooner the better."
She grimmaces, "That would hurt his feelings. How do I tell him?"
"If you don't want to marry him, be honest. Be brave, be adult. The longer your engagement goes on, the harder it's going to be on both of you when he finds out, and he will find out, that you have this big crush on Robin.......or that you haven't experienced Sex and the City and are determined to do so."
Her eyes lower again and she nods, "You're right. But when?"
"How about tonight?" Moose feels like a traitor advising Bess to break it off with Slim, but knows that the way Bess is feeling, it's inevitable.
Marilyn walks over and hands them both drinks, "What are you two gabbing about?"
"Moose just told me what you told me before," Bess admits, "So..........." and she walks away toward where Slim and John are conferring about a new piece of equipment at the Fitness center.


THE DOUBLE-CROSS.................by Coralynn

Biff hears his phone ringing insistently. He extricates himself from his date du jour and hastens into his den, yanking the receiver off the cradle, most annoyed with the interruption.
"WHAT?!" he barks.
"Biff, this is Allan Smith! The trucks are ready to load the newspapers, but we're stalling them till we get some picture into the article. We have them loaded, but still need to know who the people in the photos are. Turn on your computer......I've emailed them to you."
Biff does so and sees the photos.
"OK, now just tell me who the people are and we can put this paper to bed, so to speak. It's supposed to hit the newstands in the morning and the delivery truck drivers are threatening to strike if we don't hurry it up!"
"In the first picture, from left to right...........William, you know William the Conqueror, then that white haired lady is named Celeste.........never mind her last name, she's called Celeste....she's the High Priestess of the Cult, too. Word has it that during each full Moon she and some wolves that come out of the forest, dance naked in the back yard and howl...............yes, really!.........no, the wolves aren't naked, she is!.............then, that next one, the blonde is Rosamund who is the real Rosamund Clifford, the mistress of Henry2.......yes, really!.............next to her is Eleanor, yeah, the redhaired one.....right, of Aquitaine.........then, uhhh, jeez, who is that?!..........right, the guy with the muscles........Man! I never saw him before. Let's call him another member of the cult and let it go at that..........then that really burly red-bearded guy is Hotspur........how would I know?...........but he sure doesn't look like anyone born in this century!............that Ashley Judd look-alike they call Bethia, she has to be a time-traveler, who would have an old-fashioned name like that unless they were?.........Oh, yeah, the two women walking toward the house....." Biff gets an evil gleam in his eye, still resenting Penelope's demand for half the cut........"I don't know the dishwater blonde, but the one on the left is Penelope Patterson..........she's in training to be the next witch or high priestess........yes, I'm sure! Look, Allan, I've done a lot of research on this group!........OK then, label the pictures and run the presses.................think nothing of it, pal..........just be sure my check is in the mail tomorrow........OK, glad to help, bye!"
Biff sits on his lounger and smirks, thinking, 'This is going to be more fun than anything I've ever done! Can't wait to see the look on Rose's face when she's unmasked! That'll show her not to mess with me and get me fired from Planet! And, when Penelope sees that she's been included in the cult, I wonder how eager she'll be to collect her share.' His mind muses to several great revenge scenarios, and so engrossed in this acitivity does he become that he ignores his date's pleas from the bedroom, her annoying whining and pleading for him to return. 'Hell,' he thinks, 'I'm going to be so rich I can afford a better class of bimbo now!' and ignores her altogether.


THE BREAK-UP.........by Coralynn

Slim has had his eye on Bess all evening, watching her reaction to Robin. So, when she approaches him and suggests they step outside for a talk, does some quick thinking.
Before she has the chance to launch into what she has to tell him, Slim takes her hands in his and solemnly but gently says, "Bess. Let's not be engaged."
"What?!" she's shocked.
"I think we're both too young," he explains.
"I may be, but you're not!" she's now becoming agitated.
"But.........I still have some wild oats to sow. I haven't explored all my options...."
"And just what would those options be?" she asks, even more agitated.
"I don't think we're meant for each other, but somewhere out there I feel my soulmate is waiting for me," he looks off dreamily into the night sky.
"Soulmate? Soulmate!"
"Oh yes, somewhere there is a beautiful woman with my name stamped on her heart."
"You're nuts, you know that, Slim? Nuts! You think you can do better than me?!"
"Not better, Bess, just different."
"So you're breaking up with me? I can't believe this!"
"It's true. I don't mean to break your heart, Bess, but if we have serious doubts we shouldn't be engaged or married."
"Break MY heart?"
"I value your friendship and don't wish to hurt your feelings. We can still remain friends, can't we?"
"Friends?!" she takes off her engagement ring, flings it to the ground and runs crying back into the house.
Slim lets out a large sigh and waits for the pain to begin. Not yet. Surely I'm upset that Bess and I broke up and any minute I shall feel just terrible, depressed..............nope, not yet. Why do I feel relief? That's not supposed to happen. I was in love, or so I thought. Well, c'est la vie.
Not wanting to take the chance that Bess will again verbally accost him inside the house, he heads for his car, gets in, and drives home.


LOSERS BY CANDLELIGHT.......by Coralynn

WandaSue wanders listlessly into the coffee shop to at least suffer in a change of scenery if nothing else.
She sits down heavily in a booth and grabs the menu, which she knows by heart, but as long as she's looking at something it makes her appear more purposeful, something she definitely is not feeling.
"Pssstttt!" she hears behind her. She slowly turns around and is face to face with Travis McGee, that crazy Cop, who is also craning his head around almost backwards.
She turns back around and continues looking at the menu, not having the energy to interact with a nutcase like McGee. He isn't a step up from being alone and bored, he's a step down.
"Pppssssssssssttttttttt!" comes louder. She turns her head slightly and says "What do you want anyway?"
This is all she needs to do, as Travis then quickly runs around and sits in her booth, smiling broadly, "Hey, WandaSue, long time no see!"
'Well,'WandaSue thinks, 'now there's an original line if ever I heard one,' but says nothing back.
"Hey, you see the signs out in front of William's house on Winding Willow?" his eyes gleam with his customary maniacal gleam whenever he refers to anyone from the Big House.
"No."
"Well," he goes on, as if she were actually showing interest, "The signs say 'Eleanor for Mayor'!" he puts emphasis on the last word, and is gratified to she her glazed over eyes begin to focus.
"Mayor? of what?!"
"Of the town! The sign says 'sign a petition today and get her on the ballot,' can ya beat that with a stick?"
"HUH! Not satisfied with being rich, running with the hoi-paloi, now she wants to run the town, does she?"
"Yeah! She has a nerve!"
"Yeah."
"I have an idea, WandaSue, why don't you run for Mayor, too? Beat her at her own game? I'd sign your petition in a heartbeat."
"Why would I wanna do that?!"
"You'd be powerful. You could find a way to drive those people out of town. Between us, you and me, we could bring them up on charges...."
"You've been trying to bust them for a few years, Travis. Ever have any luck?"
"Well, no.....not yet.....but if you were Mayor, somehow you could make me Police Chief!"
All WandaSue has in front of her is water, of which she has a mouthfull.....and manages to spray it all over the table between them plus the front of Travis' uniform.
"Oh boy, wouldn't this town take a turn if the two of US ran it?" she almost laughs.
"We could do it, WandaSue, I know we could!"
"What the hell, I cancelled out the fox-hunt and the coronation ball, so, since I now have time, I might as well give it a shot...."
"You won't regret it, WandaSue," Travis is getting so excited he has to excuse himself and run to the men's room.
WandaSue carefully takes the end of the paper off a straw and blows on it, sending the rest of the wrapper across the room, landing right in some old guy's soup. He glares at her as she wiggles her fingers at him and thinks, 'Tomorrow I file for the job, then I get petitions and people sign and I give speeches and promise people the Moon, and they are so knocked out by me that they all vote for me and I get to run this place............and Eleanor is left in the dust. yes!!"


BRINGIN' ON THE HEARTACHE....by Terri

"Just leave everything for tomorrow, Rosamond. I'll help you clean up then," John said.
Rose surveyed the remnants of the party. She sighed. "I guess you can tell a good party by the mess left behind. If so, this one was a hoot!"
John followed her up the stairs. She kicked off her shoes and sighed in relief as she arched her back and rubbed it.
John said exasperatedly, "Why do you insist on wearing those shoes with that heel is beyond me. I swear, your balance is off. Several times I thought you were swaying like the Tower of Pisa. But you are built more like the Coliseum now!"
He made a gesture around his waist indicating her expanding waistline. Rose stuck her tongue out at him. "Not nice."
He went in the bathroom to brush his teeth. Rose called to him, "I saw Slim leave. He didn't even say goodbye. That wasn't like him. He wasn't sick or anything, was he?" John came out of the bathroom with his mouth full of toothpaste and gurgled, "Hey, Rose! Look! MAD DOG!!" He barked at her.
She rolled her eyes. "How old are you anyways? That's something Will would do!"
He laughed and went back in the bathroom. Rose stood in the doorway and bit on a cuticle. Damn---this baby is ruining my nails! Little devil is robbing my calcium! Next thing you know I will lose a tooth...
"What did you say, John?"
"I said, "I think Slim and Bess broke off the engagement tonight."
"WHAT?"
"I said, 'I think Slim and Bess..."
"I heard you in the first place. WHY?? Doesn't she know what a prince she has?"
John rinsed his mouth and said, "I think she has her cap set for another prince."
"John, what are you talking about?"
John toweled off his face and turned the light out. "Remember that Kevin Costner movie? 'Prince of Thieves?' "
Rose looked at him like he had lobsters growing out of his ears. "What does that have to do with anything?"
John pulled his shirt over his head, aimed for the hamper, his shirt landed in it and he did a little jump and said, "YES! Two points!"
Rose stood there tapping her foot. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? And if you don't tell me now I will slam-dunk you!"
John raised his eyebrows and said, "Rose! You've been following the Knicks games?"
She grabbed her nightgown off the hook and said, "You tell me and you tell me NOW! What happened?"
John threw his jeans in a corner and Rose immediately walked over and picked them up and deliberately placed them down the clothes chute.
He muttered under his breath, 'Little Suzy Homemaker'.
She pulled the covers back and retorted, "I heard that!"
They got into bed and John said, "I think Bess has a crush on Robin of Locksley."
Rose retorted, "Don't be ridiculous! She's engaged to Slim! She has a ring!"
John answered as he turned the light off, "Not no more she doesn't."
"Any more."
"What?"
"Any more. Not 'no more'."
John said exasperatedly, "Rose, what is with you? First you don't laugh at my rabid dog imitation, then you doubt my veracity on the Slim/Bess engagement, and now you correct my English!"
Rose grabbed the blanket and gave it one good yank. She reclaimed her 50% and took 25% of John's too. He yanked and got his 50% back and 10% of hers.
He then said, "Detente, OK? I'll give you 60% if it makes you happy. That's 50% for you and 10% for little critter-butt there!"
She settled into the covers and said, "OK, tell me what went on."
"They went outside to talk and then Bess started crying and threw the ring down. Goodnight."
Rose flicked the light on. John started screaming like Gizmo on 'The Gremlins' shouting, "BRIGHT LIGHT! BRIGHT LIGHT! AAARRGGGHHH!"
She looked at him like he had lost his mind. "John? Did you smoke something funny at the party?"
John said, "Lighten up, Rose! Why are you so cranky?"
Rose rubbed her stomach and said, "I am tired of what the southerners say. 'Standin' behind a baby.' "
John said, "Oh. That."
"Yes. That. Now what about Bess and Slim?"
John turned the light out. "Slim thinks Bess is too immature for marriage. I think they both got together because they were thrown so close together being in this tight ittle circle of friends. Besides, Bess' head is turned by every studmuffin that comes around."
Rose turned the light on again. "What do you mean?"
"I mean she drools more than Julie when she's teething. She drools like she needs a lobster bib. She drools like Homer Simpson when he sees a jelly donut..."
"You are watching the Simpsons now?"
John clicked the light off once more and said, "That's besides the point! I mean Bess is an airhead who likes a well-built man and a pretty face to go with it. First there was Slim. Then she flipped over Rhys. Didn't she think your ex-jerk-face husband was a hunk? Now she's after the Green Lantern."
"Green Lantern?"
"Well, doesn't Locksley prance around in green tights?"
Rose flipped the light on and said hotly, "He doesn't wear green tights! That's a lie! Hollywood made him out to be a vegetable!"
"Vegetable?"
"You know what I mean, John! A man that is a little..."
"You mean 'fruit'."
"Whatever. Poor Slim. How could she turn him down? He's wonderful! He's a hunk, he's.."
"Before you start writing valentines to Slim, maybe you should consider the fact that there is more to it than we know, darling."
He turned the light out once more. "Now let's get some sleep. I have to go to the hospital early and pick up Daniel. He's being release tomorrow."
There was a movement on Rose's side of the bed. John caught her hand and said, "Rose, if you turn that light on one more time, I will turn you over my knee and spank you."
She said, "Promises, promises!"

From the dark, she said, "John?"
"What now? I need to get some sleep!"
"I'm going to see Slim tomorrow."
"Rose, stay out of it."
"But, John. He's my friend. He's always been there for me. If he is hurting, I need to be there for him..."
"Rose, that's a 'girl' thing. If you want to do any consoling, go see Bess. Let Slim heal on his own. If he wants to talk, it will be to another guy. Not a woman."
Silence.
Again a voice in the dark.
"John?"
"WHAT??"
"If this is a boy, can we stop having babies?"
From the other side of the bed came a muffled, "ZZZZZZZZZZ"
Rose sighed, punched her pillow, and rubbed her stomach like it was Alladin's lamp. You'd better be a boy, she thought.
She deliberately pushed John's backside with her feet and rolled over.
John sat up with a jolt. "Did you just kick me, Rose?"
"No, John. It must have been the baby."
"Oh. OK. Goodnight."
Yeah. Goodnight. Maybe for you but not for me, she thought, as the baby gave her a good kick in the ribs. She closed her eyes. Even in utero this baby won't let me sleep.


John woke up the next morning, sat up and stretched.
"Aaaahh!!"
Rose raised her head off the pillow. "What's wrong?"
He said, "Oooh! I guess that was just a back spasm. Like I got punched."
Rose thought to herself, 'heh, heh, heh!'

He ambled towards the bathroom, muttering under his breath about pulled muscles and a too soft mattress. Rose laid there and stared at the ceiling. Poor Slim! Poor Bess! There just HAS to be a way to get them back together...

Rosamond scrambled eggs for Will's breakfast and gave Julie a piece of toast. She immediately smacked it into her hair. Butter side down. Rose sighed and looked at her little daughter. Now I guess I'll have to wash her hair before she goes to Grandma Celeste's. John came into the kitchen whistling.
Rose rubbed her back and said crossly, "What are you in such a good mood for? I have to take Will to school, and now I have to wash Julie's hair...no! Honey, don't rub that jelly on your brother!"
Julie looked up at her mother with big round questioning eyes. Will howled.
"MOM!! Julie got jelly on my shirt!"
Rose threw down her spatula and started to tear up. John came over to her, put his arms around her and said, "OK, tell me what's wrong!"
She wailed, "I can't see my feet anymore!"
John laughed and said, "But you know this is a part of it, honey! You'll see them again! I promise!"
She pulled away and said, "It's all your fault, you big bazoo!"
John raised his eyebrow and said to her, "IS NOT!! Tell you what. I'll take Will to school on the way to getting Daniel. Can you give Julie a bath with no problem?" Rose nodded. John said, "OK then. Will? We leave in five minutes. Go get your backpack."
Will jumped up and left the room. John said, "When do you see Roger next?"
"This morning."
"OK. Tell him to check those hormone levels!"
As he walked out of the kitchen, Rose threw a dishtowel at his back. Hormone levels, my a....
Will said to John as they walked out the door, "Hey, can I bring Robin to Show and Tell?"
John got a wicked gleam in his eye and said so Rose could hear him, "Sure! Great idea! Get him to wear the green tights!"
Rose hollered, "HE DOES NOT WEAR GREEN TIGHTS!"
As the door closed, Will was heard to ask John, "You mean like Peter Pan does?"

FATNESS IS JUST A STATE OF MIND...ISN'T IT?...by Terri

Julie was bathed and her hair shampooed. The only problem is that Rosamond had to chase a wet naked baby down the hallway. She caught her and Julie let out a howl. "Sorry, Princess! You just can't spend your time naked!"
After dressing Julie, she changed her own clothes because she was wet. As she brushed out her hair, she looked closely at her face. Was that the start of puffiness? She stuck her foot out and looked at her ankles. Am I holding water? She sighed and put on her maternity jeans and a smock top. John is going to owe me a new wardrobe when this is done!
Rose put Julie in the stroller and walked down to the Big House. William was in the garden pruning his roses.
"Hello, Piggy!" he called out.
"WHAT????" Rose said.
William got a puzzled look on his face and said, "I said, 'Hello, Pretty!' Rose, you alright?"
Rose just shrugged. "I guess. I thought you said,....oh, I don't know what I thought. I am just feeling out of sorts I guess."
William scratched his neck and swatted at a fly. "Maybe you should have your hormone levels checked."
Rose clenched her teeth and said, "Yes. Why don't I?"
Julie held her hands out to William. He took her and said, "What a little princess you are!"
Rose muttered, "Yes, I used to be."
"What?"
"Nothing. Celeste is inside?"
"Yes. She's got some oatmeal cookies for you."
Rose kicked a stone as she walked up the stairs. "I may pass. If I have them, I just may waddle!"

CRISIS ON WINDING WILLOW.......by Coralynn

William goes inside and hands Julie off to Celeste who coos at her in her typical grandmotherly way. William throws down his gardening gloves and declares, "I got that weeding done while the ground was still a bit soft from the dew, and now........." he gestures toward the five newspapers on the table, still bunded up......."now I get to enjoy my normal morning routine. Gotta see who won that baseball game yesterday..........you know the one."
"No, we don't," both Rose and Celeste answer and take Julie back to where Celeste now has made Will's room into a playroom for all the small children who visit. The totally boyish decorating has been modified to include a few dolls and cuddly teddy bears, Julie's favorites.
William unbundles the newspapers and drinks his coffee with relish as he peruses the sports page, then the regular news on the front pages. "Depressing!" he declares it, "What is the matter with this world anyway? Everyone is bersek! Listen to this........some guy pushed his pregnant wife out of his car which was going 75 miles an hour...."
"We don't want to hear it!" Celeste yells back at him as they close the door to the playroom.
William pours more coffee and thinks, "As long as it's someone else, not anyone here, who gets the bad press, it's fine with me. Let those other people out there act like demented fools....."
His reverie is interrupted by the front door slamming and Marilyn running into the kitchen, yelling, "Look at this! Look at this!"
Her voice is so loud and the panic so obvious that it brings Celeste, Rose, Eleanor and Bess out of their locations.
"What is it?" Everyone asks as she slaps the National Enquirer down on the table and points to it, breathing heavily, a look of shock on her face.
They gather round to see for themselves. "Weird Cult compound on Winding Willow, Chappaqua, N.Y.!" the headline screams. Eleanor picks up the paper and reads aloud, "Time travel and witchcraft is central to the Cult run by William the Conquering Chef and Eleanor the Amazon sportscaster. Others deeply involved include Roseamond Clifford Gwinett and her husband, plus several others. The High Priestess of the Cult, a woman they call Celeste, has been known to dance naked in their back yard during full Moons. Human sacrifice is also part of their rituals. Most of the people in the cult were born in other centuries, and by black magic have transported themselves into the 21st century, we are told by a reliable source......"
"WandaSue!" the others groan.
Eleanor continues, "Their plan to take over the country, perhaps the world was kicked off yesterday when Eleanor filed to have her name put on the ballot for Mayor of the Town. From there the plan is to run for state office, then National office, then the Presidency. The evil plans would put all the power into the hands of just a few select individuals.......all of them Cult Members. "
"WHO DID THIS?" William is livid. "WandaSue? I'm going to call her up and tell her she's about to be packed off to the French Revolution and nobody, I mean, nobody, however sympathetic they may be, is to ever, ever bring that miserable excuse for a human being back here......." he reaches for the phone.

"Hi," WandaSue is happy to hear the phone ringing and picks it up half way through the first ring.
"WandaSue, now you've done it!" William yells into the phone.
"I have? What have I done?"
"You blabbed to the National Enquirer about time travel and then made up a bunch of lies...........why am I telling you this, you know what you did!"
"You may find it hard to believe, William, but I didn't do this. I may have thought of it; I may have wanted to from time to time, but I didn't do it......."
"Swear to God?"
"Swear to God!"
"Then......"
"I think you may want to investigate what Sally Jennings and Penelope Patterson have been up to. Their fingerprints are all over this."
"You're sure?"
"Positive!"
"Well, we'll check out Sally and Penelope, but I'm still not totally convinced you didn't have a hand in it."
"What do you do when you find out who did it, put them on time-outs?" WandaSue sneers.
"You recall 1692 Salem?"
"That was scary..." she admits.
He hangs up. Everyone has heard his end of the conversation, even Robin who is now drawing off a cup of coffee.
Marilyn has now regained her composure enough to be able to speak in sentences again, "My question is not who did it, although that's a good question, but more important, what are we going to DO about it?"


RED splotchy faces, YELLOW journalism & the BLUES....by Terri

William stood there and began to hyperventilate. Like he did when Rose ran over his rose bushes. Or when John and Daniel took their fight to the vegetable garden and destroyed William's crops. Celeste looked at him and quietly handed him a paper bag.
"Here, big guy. Breathe into this. Nice and slow."
Robin walked cautiously over to William, bent down and looked into William's face. "Is he alright?"
Eleanor waved carelessly, "Oh, yes. This always happens when William gets upset. He's getting better though. This one is a delayed reaction!"
Rose gathered her purse and said, "I need to run a few errands and then I have a doctor's appointment with Roger."
She looked at Bess' red-splotched face. "Bess? You alright?"
Bess sniffled and said, "Yes. And I don't want to talk about it."
She turned and ran up the stairs. Rose looked at the other women. Marilyn said, "I think what she is trying to say is that it is none of our business. 'You don't understand. You are too old!' she said! Can you believe it?"
Rose looked astonished. "Too old? Good grief! The girl is only four years younger than me!"
Eleanor said, "Yes, but you have two and a half kids and seem to be one lifetime up on her."
Rose exploded. " 'Rose, you're getting fat!' 'Rose, it's your condition!' 'Be careful, it's bad for the baby!' " She mimicked. "I am a person under this...this FAT, OK?"
Marilyn quickly scanned the National Enquirer and said as she read it, "Get those hormone levels checked, Rose. You're coming unspooled!"
SLAM!!
And out the door she went.

William cautiously took the bag away from his face and gulped air. Celeste said, "Be careful, Big Guy!"
William exclaimed, "Why us? What did we ever do to anyone? We pay our taxes, we work, we are a viable part of society.."
Eleanor said, "Oh, they are just jealous! Sally Jennings was kicked out of this house and Penelope Patterson has had it in for John and Rose ever since she took that Planet part away from her."
William picked up an icepack, headed for his Barcalounger and plopped down. He pulled the lever, placed the icepack on his head and moaned, "What to do..what to do...."

Rose picked up John's drycleaning. Why can't he do this himself? The baby gave a kick. She rubbed her stomach to calm him down. Him. It had better be. Only three more months. Ninety days. Maybe I can exercise alot and make it two and a half months. That would be how many days then? I thought there wouldn't be any math...She sighed and looked at her watch. A half hour to my appointment. She saw a Starbucks. A nice Mocha Frappachino...surely there can't be too much caffeine in it. She swung the Miata into a parking space and tried to slide off the seat. Her stomach caught on the steering wheel. Disgustedly, she flipped the lever and the steering wheel tilted up. She swung her legs over and heaved herself out of the seat. As she walked into Starbucks, a woman came up to her and said, "Hey! Twins!"
Rose said, "Excuse me????"
The woman pointed to her purse and said, "Twins! We have the same purse!"
Rose nodded. "Oh. Yes."
As the woman walked out, she said to herself, I have to get a grip.
She walked up and ordered her coffee. A voice behind her said, "Know how many calories is in that thing?"
She whirled around and came face-to-face with the one person she wanted to see more than anything.
Her best friend and saviour on numerous occasions.
Slim Skaggs.


DILEMMA................by Coralynn

"I'll sue!" William yells as he throws the National Enquirer into the wastebasket.
Celeste retrives the paper and scans it for what it says about her, grins and comments, "I say there, can you believe they think I dance nude in the back yard? They must think I'll a lot more sylphlike than I am!"
William can't believe she's being so casual, "Are you going to take this lying down, Celeste?"
"According to this, lying down isn't part of the scenario...........I prance around in the back yard and offer up human sacrifice to the ancient Gods!" she grins. William pounds on the table, "I'll sue! These are lies, damning lies!"
Eleanor sits in the chair across from William and asks, calmly, "Saying we time travel is a lie?"
"No, of course not."
"Saying we were born in different centuries, is that a lie?"
"No."
"If you sue the Enquirer, you'll have to account for each part of what they printed, not just the parts about the black arts, William. Are you prepared to deny what you know is true?"
"I don't lie, I'm too ethical," he states matter-of-factly.
"We know that, so if they ask you if you time traveled here from another century, what are you prepared to reply?"
"I'll refuse to answer."
"That's as good as an admission!" she drives the point home. "If you sue, you're opening an enormous can of worms, so to speak."
Celeste breaks in, "You'd be better off ignoring the whole issue, William. It'll blow over, it always does."
William grumbles, "I'll think it over and let you know."
Eleanor reaches across the table and pats his hand kindly before getting up, taking her dishes to the sink.
Bess, who has gone into the back yard to retrieve a beach towel she's left out there to dry, bursts into the house via the back door, alarmed, "There are helicopters circling our house!"
Marilyn goes outside to take a look, and sure enough, two helicopters with the numbers of local TV channels painted on the sides are circling very low over the yard. She can see people inside training cameras on the yard. When they see her, they stop circling and zero in on her. She makes the finger at them and returns to the kitchen.
"The TV stations are trying to get pictures of us," she tries not to sound nervous, but this is creeping her out.
By now Bess is in the living room, looking out the front window, "I see several vans outside in the front, too......"
Eleanor runs over, looks out to see and there they are, mobile units from several newspapers.
"Oooooooops, they're walking up to our front door!" she announces as she backs away from the window, dragging the very nervous Bess with her.
"I'll take care of this!" William bellows as he walks into the living room, but is stopped by Robin, who calmly tells him, "Let me do it, William. They don't know who I am yet. You don't want to lose your cooking show on TV, and if you yell at them it will be very bad public relations."
"Where did you get so savvy?" Marilyn asks.
"I'm a quick study," Robin says over his shoulder as he opens the door in answer to the now insistent ringing of the doorbell.
"Is this the headquarters of the Black Magic Cult?" a very scrawny woman with nail-polish red hair asks in a high-pitched, grating voice.
"No, ma'am. I think you have the wrong street. Try one street over...........right........one street north of here."
He closes the door very calmly and smiles, showing his brilliant, white, even teeth, "You see? Piece of cake!"


HEADING OFF A HEARTBREAK......by Terri

"Ma'am? Your frappachino."
Rose picked her coffee up and stepped to the side.
Slim said, "A triple espresso, please."
Rose said, "Slim! Trying to put hair on your chest?"
Slim laughed and said, "No, I just need a quick pick-me-up."
Rose said, "That stuff will strip paint."
Slim picked his coffee up and gestured to a table in the corner.
"Out running errands, Rose?"
Rose took a spoon and dipped it into the chocolate sprinkles. "No, I have an appointment with Roger in half an hour and I needed a treat. Before he tells me I can't have it and puts me on a diet."
Slim looked at her and said, "You don't look fat or anything. Just...pregnant! You should see some of those Texas women..whooeee! When they decide to pull the ripcord, look out!"
Rose took his hand and said, "Enough about me. How are you?"
Slim shrugged his shoulders and said, "I suppose alright. I made a decision. I decided to save Bess and me from a heartache that I know was coming."
Rose said indignantly, "How could she do this to you, Slim? You are one of the most hard-working, decent guys I know!"
"Whoa, Rosamond! It's not her fault! I guess I just kind of jumped into it. It is kind of hard to explain. But I've been doing alot of thinking since I called it off. I think I just kind of wanted to belong to your---extended family as it were. My family puts the 'fun' in dysfunctional. You are so loving and caring with each other and I wanted to be a part of that. Don't get me wrong--Bess is a wonderful girl and we had some great times. But Bess and I are both on different wave-lengths. She is young. I am 28 and she is only 19. When you are 19, that is worlds away. I defused a time-bomb. In time she will see that I was right. She has alot of growing up to do. I called Rafe last night and talked to him for a long time. He agreed with me. He said Bess did the same stuff with him. But she drooled over me. Now's she's got a crush on Robin. She needs to find out what she wants. And you know something? I'm not even upset about it. What does that tell you?"
Rose sat there quietly. "I think you are wonderful and decent and a noble gentleman. You have class, Slim."
She sighed and then gave him a brilliant smile. "And if I wasn't so in love with John...!"
Slim laughed. "We'd have a forest fire, honey!"
The stood up. Rose gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Slim Skaggs! You have helped me in ways you will never know!"
Slim returned her hug. "And you have shown me I can be all that I want to be!"
Rose laughed. "Just like the Army...and don't you dare say I am as big as a platoon! Please don't pull away from us, Slim. You are family. And don't you forget it!"
They bid each other goodbye and Rose headed up to her appointment.


THE ACID TEST........by Coralynn

The newspaper people all peel off for another street, but it doesn't reassure the occupants of 224 Winding Willow. The two helicopters circling the house have now been joined by two more. The sound of 4 copters is almost deafening inside the house.
"I have to start gathering signatures on these petitions," Eleanor announces, gathering up a few and heading for the door. "Anyone else brave enough to go out there and station yourselves around the town to do likewise?"
The others look nonplussed. "I'm afraid to go out there!" Bess almost wails as she makes her way across the room to where Robin stands, gazing up at him with admiration, "Robin, you're our hero! But......"
"I know," Marilyn cuts in, "We're still under siege."
"You think it wise to expose yourself to ridicule today?" William asks Eleanor, who gets that steely, determined look on her face and replies, "I'm not a coward. I'm not running from this, William."
"Alright, have it your own way," he shakes his head as she leaves the house, slamming the front door behind her. Within but a few seconds she's back, with a large piece of cardboard in her hand.
"Look what was nailed over my sign out front!" she turns it around for all to read.
"Eleanor is a fraud, she's an evil cult member, she was born 900 years ago. Sign WANDA SUE SKAGG'S PETITION, she's the real deal."
"I thought she said she had nothing to do with this," Celeste remarks.
"I smell a rat!" Marilyn is getting into her fighting mode. "Where is she? Out there somewhere gathering signatures? I'LL give her a signature.....right between the eyes! Come on, Eleanor, let's go!"
As the two women exit the house, Bess, still gazing up at Robin, tells him, "You're so courageous, Robin, do you think you could go with them and make sure nothing awful happens? I'll go with you."
William lets out an audible sigh and addresses Robin, who's standing there not sure just what to do, "Those two are real Amazons, Robin. I don't think they need protecting. You weren't here the times Marilyn punched out the lights of a few guys she thought were threatening members of our household. She's a walking terminator."
Robin stays. He wonders just how he's going to discourage Bess' obvious infatuation without damaging her feelings, and tries to walk to another part of the room away from her. She follows. He looks at William with a question in his eyes. William looks back and grimmaces, which is about all the help he's capable of at the moment.
They hear a loud noise as Michelangelo, aka "Mickey" slams shut the door to the bedroom he slept in overnight, and demands, "OK, it's been 24 hours, now take me back where I belong! And help me get my statue of David back as well. This has been disastrous! I still have a section of the Sistine Chapel ceiling to paint and will surely fry in hell if it's left in its present state. William, that is your name, isn't it? Take me back NOW!"
"I can do that, but there's little or nothing anybody can do about your statue of David. He is living next door with James Philbrook Livingston, sporting a very dark tan and from what I observed at the party last night, happy as a clam to remain in this century. But I can get you back. Ready?"
Not waiting for Mickey to make any more demands, he holds his coin, takes Mickey's hand and the two disappear.
Within two minutes William returns. "He hates us for what happened to his statue, but at least he's out of our hair!"
"I wish the same could be said for those helicopters overhead!" Celeste complains.

MEANWHILE:

When Eleanor and Marilyn get to the middle of town, it's easy to spot WandaSue, who is standing by a sign similar to the one she nailed out front of 224 Winding Willow, a crowd gathered around her, clamoring to sign her petition.
"We'd better not make a scene, not here, anyway," Marilyn advises her friend.
"You mean you don't want to start a riot?" Eleanor asks.
"No. Please, Eleanor. We could get hurt. Look at these people signing for WandaSue......the line goes way around the block over there. This is bad. Let's go home and think....."
"I hate to admit it, but you're right," Eleanor agrees as they go back to where El left her car, get in and head back toward home.

As they get out of the car a reporter, who has been hiding in the bushes, rushes over, "Are the allegations against you true?!" he thrusts a microphone in front of Eleanor's face. She slaps it away, saying nothing. Marilyn manages to get in a swift kick to the guy's shins just as they race him for the back door of the house, and slam it in his face. The sound of helicopters overhead continues ever anon.
They collapse on kitchen chairs.
"Bad day at the office?!" William has to get in a jibe.
Celeste joins them on another kitchen chair and asks, "What are you going to do, Eleanor?"
"This is going to be hell," Eleanor admits, "for one thing, how can I prove I wasn't born 900 years ago?"
"You can't," William states.
"Even if I have Patrick make me a phony birth certificate like the ones you had made up when we first got here? Where are those anyway?"
"I shredded them," William admits, "after we got jobs, I couldn't see any use for them, and, since they were bogus decided it wiser to just get rid of them. As for Patrick making up new ones.......he could lose his law practice, he could be disbarred if he was caught making up phony documents, and the way the wind is blowing, what with the Enquirer article, any birth certificate you tried to pass off as legit would be scrutinized closely, very closely."
"In other words, I'm screwed, is that what you're saying, William?" Eleanor is angry and frustrated.
"Yes, that's about it. "
"Well I guess we won't be needing these!" she takes the pile of petitions over to the waste basket and dumps them in with a flourish.
William is relieved, but doesn't get long to relish the feeling, as they all hear a mighty crashing from the roof. They run out into the back yard, look up, and see a helicopter with its nose buried in the roof of the house, the pilot gesticulating wildly, the cameraman yelling "HELP!" over and over and over.
"Well, well," Marilyn says cheerily, "Look who's having a crisis now? Do we see it? No. We don't see that helicopter stuck in the roof. Are we going to help them? No. We don't see it. We've been inside the whole time!" she waggles her fingers at the distressed men in the copter as the group re-enters the house, and as the door closes behind them, break out in laughter, the kind that comes after being under duress, the laughter of release.


BABY BLUES......by Terri

Rosamond sat in front of the desk in Roger's office. He leaned back and looked at her chart.
"Everything is progressing well, Rose. You sure you don't want to know what sex the baby is?"
Rose bit her lip and said, "I would love to but I made John promise if I did that I wouldn't tell him. He doesn't want to know. He said that takes all the anticipation out of it!"
Roger put her folder down and said, "He wouldn't have to know."
She shook her head and said, "He would know. I would start buying either pink or blue outfits and that would be a dead giveaway."
Roger said, "Well, the sonogram you had back in June shows a healthy baby."
Rosamond burst into tears. "Then why do I feel so...depressed? So...fat?"
Roger stood up, handed her a tissue and gave her shoulders a squeeze.
"Maybe because too much has gone on in your life? Before you got pregnant, we had that pirate fiasco. Then the murder of Victoria Sheffield. Everyone leaving on the 1641 project. You move into your new house and and then your son decides to go off in search of his real father. And you bring back one horse and one old boyfriend as souvenirs. Honey, your life is a circus!"
Rosamond blew her nose. "I think John is losing interest in me!"
"Oh, come on, Rose! Besides me, I've never seen a man so crazy in love with his wife!"
Rose wailed, "And I am off Planet until the baby is born! 'Daisy' is in a coma due to a hit on the head and Marty is waiting to see if and when I come back before he decides to pull the plug on 'her'. John is due to go back to work there next week!"
Roger said, "OK, let me take a blood test to check out your hormone levels."
Rose snapped, "Why does everyone think my hormones are wacky?"
He made a call to the lab downstairs and sent her down.
"Come back up when you are through."

Roger made a quick call to the fitness center.
"John? Roger here...no, no, everything is fine. At least as far as the baby is concerned...no, she's in excellent health, too..I sent her down for some bloodwork...John, stop getting so excited, it is just routine..well, she seems unduly upset. I thought maybe her hormones were a little out of kilter....no, it isn't unusual...well, I was only a part-time doctor for her when she was expecting Julie....Matt Underwood was the primary doctor and Rose hated him....yeah, I know. She avoided him and broke alot of appointments....I'll see what the levels are....but personally I think she needs a little extra TLC....well, she says she's fat for one thing...no, she's right where she should be...I think she's just worn out.... what do you mean, 'Does loverboy have anything to do with it?'...oh, him!...well, I'm no dentist but no, I don't think that dazzling smile is caps....I don't know...Beth says he's nice....but hey, my opinion is that the little lady is feeling overwhelmed....well, look at all the stuff that has happened to her...right, and it's the first time she's been away from home. She's queen of her own castle and it is kind of frightening to her...no, Beth told me this...well, I don't see why not...may do you some good....just don't wait too long...right...OK, she's coming in now. Golf Wednesday morning...yeah, you, me, Jerry and Robin...oh, stop pouting! It will be fun..I gotta go..Bye!"

Roger quickly put the phone down and gave Rose an exaggerated smile. She looked suspiciously at him and said, "You didn't call my husband, did you?"
Roger put a surprised look on his face and asked, "Would I do that?"
She said dubiously, "Uh huh..."
Roger wrote out a prescription. She took it. "What is this for?"
"It's to build you up. I think you are run down. For Pete's sake, Rosamond! Take it easy! Remember---the ideal spacing between children is usually three years. You got pregnant less than a year after Julie was born. And you delivered her under less-than-ideal conditions."
Rose picked up her purse and said, "This certainly wasn't MY idea!"
Roger said, "Nor John's."
As Rosamond walked out the door, she turned and said, "NO--IT'S TRAVIS MCGEE'S FAULT!"


CHOPPER, WHAT CHOPPER?............by Coralynn

Sirens come closer and closer. Fire trucks, ambulances, police cars all converge on 224 Winding Willow, after having received 9-1-1 calls from neighbors.
Our group has just stopped laughing when they hear the doorbell. William looks out the peephole, "Good.....it's Alan Carson, not that horrible McGee twerp!" he announces to the others as he swings open the door.
"Alan! How can I help you?" he greets the other man in a cheerful tone.
Alan gives him an odd looks and asks, "Are you aware that a helicopter crashed into your house?"
"Oh really??" William plays it coy, which sends the others running into the kitchen so their giggles can't be heard by the police chief.
"Yes!" Alan replies, "We have the paramedics, the fire department, an ambulance....."
William peers out a window and pretends to see them for the first time, "By golly, you're right, Alan!"
"You may want to contact your insurance company.....that roof is going to need repair."
"I most certainly will, thank you for telling me."
Alan shakes his head, "Come on, William, surely you must have heard that chopper plow into your house."
"I was wearing headphones, listening to rap music!" William tells him before he begins to laugh.
"What was a chopper doing that close to your roof anyway?" Alan obviously hadn't read the Enquirer.
"They were scoping us out. Seems the National Enquirer was given a loony story about us, and....."
"OK, that again, aye? You sure do get a lot of attention around here. Guess that's the price of admission!"
"You are so right!" William agrees as Alan goes back to his patrol car.

The others come back out when they hear the door close, still giggling off and on.
"Well, now that we've had our comic relief, what do we do about the pickle we're in?" William asks the group.
"Let me check the Story!" Celeste has a light-bulb moment, "The culprit or culprits behind the garbage given to the Enquirer must be in the story by now...........let's check."
The women go back to the computer room while William and Robin kick back in the loungers and turn on the TV, which, not surprisingly, shows their back yard, their roof and the chopper stuck thereon. The reporter, also standing in the yard is saying: "I'm standing in the back yard of 224 Winding Willow, the home of William the Conquering Chef, as rescue teams are attempting to save the lives of the pilot and reporter from Channel 4, stuck on or in the roof of this house. There is no explanation for the unusual accident, and, when asked, Phil Fleming, the operations director of the station declined to comment. Stay tuned for updates as they happen."

William flips channels and finds an old movie about Robin Hood, which he tells Robin probably bears no real resemblence to his life. "You correct it as we go along," William suggests.
They're only five minutes into it when they hear a commotion come from the computer room, and voices.
"Penny and Sally. Just as WandaSue said!" Eleanor yells. "Let's get 'em!"
William swivels his head backward and yells as loud as he can so that he doesn't have to get up from his cushy chair, "Cool it, ladies! Nobody's going to get anyone.....at least not today."
He dusts off his hands and tells Robin, "You have to treat them with a firm hand, otherwise they go off on tangents. Women!"


LET'S GET AWAY FROM IT ALL......by Terri

John sat in his office, lost in thought. Daniel came in.
"How's the leg doing, Daniel?"
Daniel stretched it out and grimaced. "I think I may need these crutches for only a few weeks longer. The doctor wants me to build up the muscles gradually. Looks like I won't be using the machines for a bit. But he assures me that I will be 100% before too long. Said he never saw such a miraculous recovery. He said it was all that working out that saved me."
John nodded, only half hearing him.
"John?"
"Hmmm?"
"You're on another planet. Trouble on the home front?"
"Nothing I can't handle. Ro's just feeling a bit run down. That's all."
Daniel stood up. "Well, I'm going to hobble over to the new machines. Rafe told me they were spectacular and he's going to show me how they work. I may not be able to use them, but I can still be a fitness instructor. By the way, where's Slim?"
John clicked on his computer. "Oh, didn't you hear? He and Bess broke up. More or less mutual. He took a few days off to kind of reconnect himself."
Daniel took his crutch and said, "Sorry to hear it but not a surprise. She's a cutie but a total ditz. And now..off I go!"

John picked up the phone and called Marty Henshaw.
"Marty? Hi! John here...no, I'll be in next week. Daniel is out of the hospital and he's itching to run things here again....he's doing fine...what I called about is this--you still have that stilt house on Jersey shore that you were interested in selling?...yeah, I know it is out in the sticks. I was wondering if Rosamond and I could rent it for a week and see how we like it....yeah, I think I may be interested in buying it...well, partially for a vacation home and partly for an investment...so when do you think we could rent it?....not until the middle of October, huh?....I guess that would be alright...no, I just worry it is kind of near her due date....really out there, huh?...no, I'd take the SUV.....OK, if you can arrange my schedule, that would be great!...she's just a little stressed out and I want to spend a little time alone with her while we still can...what? Ha-ha! Yeah, I know, the baby is quiet NOW!....OK. Thanks, Marty! If it is everything you say, we just may have a sale!...Thanks! You've been a great friend! It will give Rose something to look forward to! See you Monday!"
CLICK!

John came home to a slight domestic crisis. Will had spilled his paints on the floor, Julie was screaming her head off in a temper tantrum, and Rosamond was at the stove trying to cook dinner. The rice was boiling over, the oven was smoking. She had a potholder and yelled, "OW!"
The potholder wasn't quite thick enough (we know what that is like, don't we!) and she burned her hand. John handed Will some paper towels, picked up Julie, and turned the rice pot off. He took Rosamond's hand and held it under running cold water.
He said, "Having a rough day?"
She tried not to let the tears spill down her face. She just nodded.
"OK--Will, get some ice cubes and put them in a bowl for your mom. Julie? Here's a cookie. And Rose? I'll order a pizza for dinner. Problems solved."

Rose sat there with her hand in a bowl filled with ice water. Will cleaned up his paints and cleared the table for his mother. John gave Julie a bath and got her jammies on. He came downstairs after putting her to bed. Will said goodnight and went upstairs to do his homework but everyone knew he was going to read his Spiderman comic books.
"Hand better?"
"Yes, thank you."
"For what?"
"For everything. For taking charge. When everything in my life is falling apart, John, you always come through for me."
"Isn't that the way it is supposed to be? It's the least I can do for the woman who has given me such beautiful children."
She leaned her head against his chest and said, "I'm sorry I have been such a pain lately. I just feel.. I dont know what! Lost, I think. Scared. I've never been on my own before. And now I will have three children to worry about."
"Honey, you'll never be alone. Not as long as you have me. And I have a surprise for you. I talked to Marty. He's renting us his beach house on the Jersey shore. Just for the two of us. Celeste wants the kids. You know that's what she and William live for. And if we like it, I am prepared to buy it for you for our first anniversary."
Rose threw her arms around him, knocking the water and ice on John.
He grabbed the paper towels as he said, "I talked to Roger. He isn't too keen on you leaving so near your due date but it's a good six weeks away from it. I assured him we would be perfectly fine there. We'll just be relaxing at the shore."
Rose smiled happily. "Oh, John! It will be such fun! And in the autumn, too! The weather will be perfect!"
"Alright then! Just you, me and the Atlantic!"

FROM COURSE TO COURTS....by Terri

John came in from his golf game and left his golf bag on the back steps.
Rosamond was watching Julie in her wading pool, splashing away. She looked over at his clubs and drew a sharp intake of breath. A few of the clubs were bent. John didn't say a word, he just went into the house. Rosamond took Julie out and wrapped her in a towel. She picked up the baby and quietly went into the house.
"John? John?"
She heard the shower running. OK, I'll wait until he's done.

Fifteen minutes later, John came downstairs. Julie ran to him and hugged him around his knees.
"Da-da! Da-da!"
John scooped her up and kissed her. "Hello, Princess!"
He kissed Rosamond on the cheek. "Hello, sweetheart!"
Rose asked, "How did the golf game go?"
John shrugged and said, "Well, Jerry and Robin teamed up against Roger and me. What's for dinner?"
Rose said, "Pork chops and stuffing. Provided I don't burn...OH NO!"
She ran to the oven and opened it up. Smoke billowed out of the oven and the smoke detector went off. John handed Julie over to Rosamond and reached up and fanned the smoke detector with his newspaper.
"So you feel like Chinese or Italian tonight? Or were you aiming for a burnt sacrifice?"

Later that night, Rosamond called Bethia.
"Beth? John said very little but I need to know something. How did the golf game go today?"
Bethia laughed. "Jerry and Robin skunked our guys. Roger said he never saw anything like it! I mean, Roger always said that John was one--if not THE best golfers he's ever played with. But Robin was aces. I mean, he picked it up even faster than John did!"
Rosamond said, "Really! That kind of explains something."
"What?"
"Oh...never mind. Do you still want to meet at that fabric shop?"
"Yes. I need your expert opinion on some drapery fabric for my dining room, Rose. You have an eye for it."
"Ok, I'll be over at ten. See you then."

That night, as they lay in the dark, John said to Rosamond, "You know? I think I may start playing tennis a little more now."
Rose smiled to herself in the dark and said, "Yes, darling. I think that may be a good idea!"

WANDA SUE: CANDIDATE.........by Coralynn

WandaSue can hardly believe her good fortune. People are lining up in droves to sign her petition. She looks at her watch and realizes she's missed a couple meals, standing on the sidewalk with her clipboard and petitions. She'd give her right arm for a Hungryman dinner about now, but since that isn't possible, has to be content that she's being successful in sticking it to that rich snob, Eleanor.
She thinks, 'When I run this town things are going to be different...........oh so different. When Travis McGee is police chief, when I'm mayor, watch out, evil doers!'


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