AN ACTOR'S LIFE FOR ME.......by Coralynn

"I can't do it!" Bess proclaims, burying her face in her arms on the kitchen table.
"Sure you can!" Marilyn and Eleanor say simultaneously.
"But how?" Bess lifts her head.
"Look, kid, ya never let 'em see ya sweat!" Marilyn begins, "You want to get back at Nathan Sloan? Pretend you don't even know him. Act like none of that nonsense ever happened."
"But it did! We both know it did!" Bess objects.
Eleanor takes over, "But you have to act like it had no effect on you, Bess. If he thinks he has the power to upset you, then he's won at least one part of the battle. If you act totally cool and contained, he'll think you weren't as emotionally involved with him as he wanted you to be."
"But....but.....I have scenes with him, and some are upclose scenes! This is impossible!"
"Think 'cold' then," Marilyn suggests, "See a wall of ice rise up between you and keep focused on that no matter what you're asked to do in a scene."
"That'll work?!" Bess is skeptical.
"The mind is a powerful thing, Bess. You can freeze him out by setting your mind's thermostat way down to below freezing. It works. Try it, what have you to lose?" Marilyn answers.
"I could quit!" Bess gets a gleam in her eyes.
"OH NO! That would hand him a victory. You have to forge on and finish your scenes in the mini-series, then after that you don't ever have to set eyes on that cad again," Eleanor explains.
"Welllllll, I only have two more scenes. Maybe they'll wrap them up today."
"Right! And tomorrow you'll be done! After that, if you want us to have that floral delivery service I know about where you can order up horrible dead, stinking flowers, send them to his dressing room, that would be fun!" Eleanor laughs.
"That would!" Bess brighens. "But why wait till tomorrow? Let's do it today!"
"Great idea, we will, but we'd better get a move on, guys. Hurry and finish dressing. We're due on the set at 9. Let's wrap this puppy up and put it in the can!" Marilyn says breezily as she goes to her room.

When they arrive out at the Montgomery Ranch, where the outdoor scenes are being filmed, and some of the indoor ones as well, they see a large truck parked just behind the main house, with men carrying in some furniture, carrying out other.
"What gives?" Marilyn asks Rose.
"Looks like my B&B is history!" Rose replies, "BB said he'd let Juanita run it till just after the first of the year, and he sure didn't waste any time! But it's no concern of mine. Not anymore."
After they park and approach the sound stage Marty set up over the holiday break, they see Henry2 pacing nervously. He sees them and ducks behind some scenery flats.
"What's his problem?" Bess asks.
"HO HO! I'd say the royal stud of the 12th century is still burning from the scathing remarks you made, Rose, remember, on New Years Eve?" Marthy says happily.
"No, what remarks did I make?" Rose asks, puzzled.
"You told him that of the four men you've been intimate with, he ranked fourth in your estimation," Marthy tells her, wondering why, after having said something that memorable Rose would forget it.
"Nope. Must have had too much punch or something. You would think I'd remember, though, huh?"
No one gets a chance to remark on this, as Marty Henshaw approaches them with their days shooting schedules. He grins at Rose, "I guess you told HIM, didn't you Rose? The man was unconsolable after we got back to my place after that party. Kept mumbling, "Fourth? fourth?!"
Rose just shakes her head because, try as she might, she has no recollection of having said any such thing.


MENTAL BLOCK.....by Terri

"Celeste? I'm going out to that infernal ranch and meeting Rosamond for lunch. I'll be back in time to pick Will up from school. Tomorrow we start taping more of As the Planet Turns."
Celeste looked up from her cookbook. "How are they going to work around Rosamond's absence?"
John laughed, "I guess you don't watch the soaps, do you, 'Mom'! No, 'Brad' and 'Daisy' are separated and she is going to St. Croix for a quickie divorce. Then to console herself they sent 'her' to Europe to search for her half sister who she didn't know existed. So Rosamond will be gone from the set for 3-4 months."
Celeste shook her head. "Not to compare with what went on last night!" she said to herself.
John put his gloves on. "What did you say?"
"Nothing, John. Nothing at all."

John pulled up to the ranch and parked the car. He made a face. Jeez, I thought I'd never have to see this place again!
"Hots! Hi! See Rose around? I'm supposed to meet her for lunch!"
Hotspur looked at John kind of funny. "She's still talking to you?"
"Sure, why not?"
"I mean, after that nasty trick you played on her."
"What trick?"
From the distance, a stagehand yelled, "Mr. Percy--you're wanted on Set 3."
Hotspur clapped John on the shoulder. "Gotta run, pal!"
John stood there bewildered. "Sure. OK."

John found Rosamond on Set 12 with Marthy and Eleanor. She came up to him. "Hi, darling! Can you wait a few minutes for us to finish the makeup?"
John sat in one of the chairs on the set. "Sure--take your time, honey!" Marty Henshaw came by. "JOHN!" he exclaimed. "You---you're--what are you doing here?"
John looked at him questioningly. "Taking my lovely wife out to lunch. Is that OK?"
Marty was puzzled. "Yes. Sure. It's OK. Is it OK with you, Rose?"
"Hmmm?" She was opening up lipsticks and trying them on her hand. "What do you think of this, Eleanor?"
"Too orangey for your skin, hon!"
Marty turned to John. "I just thought, in light of what went on last night..."
John said, "What?"
Marty said, "Nothing. Nothing at all. Rose? Eleanor? We start to shoot that big snow scene where Eleanor, you confront Rosamond in the snow outside Woodstock.
Be ready to have some pillows stuffed up your dress. After all, you are pregnant and due to deliver."
To John, Marty turned serious. "I'm asking you as a favor, John. Don't try to make 'daddy of the year' right now. Not until we wrap up 'Time and Chance.'"
John looked up from the magazine he was thumbing through. "Huh? Oh. Yeah. Sure thing, Marty!"

Rose turned to John. "I'll be right back, darling. I left my purse in the wardrobe room. Be back in five minutes."
John continued to look through the new sports magazine. Really should get a new set of golf clubs...."Huh? Oh, sure, honey, take your time...." I like the look of that new golf bag....
A couple crew members walked by. "Hey, Daniel! You old dog!" "Heard you laid one on your brother's old lady last night! WAY TO GO!" They gave John a 'two thumbs up' but he was too engrossed in his magazine. "Uh, huh...hi, guys..."
Hotspur walked by. "John! Find Rose yet?"
John said, "Yeah. She went to get her purse."
"It's too bad you don't approve of Rose in this miniseries, she's dynamite. They are talking Golden Globes for Eleanor and Rose...and even Henry, if you can believe that! Imagine getting an award for being yourself!"
John said, "Will wonders ever cease?"
Hots continued, "I can't believe she told Henry off in front of everyone! Fourth place! He turned a lovely shade of purple."
John said, "What?"
"Rose. Telling Henry he was a terrible lover. That she was bored to death. She just about told him she was so bored she would count the cracks in the ceiling and try to find faces in them, you know, like you do with clouds? NOW THAT'S BORED!"
John said, "Hots, I have absolutely NO idea what you are talking about. Again!"
Hotspur said, "You were standing right there. You don't remember?"
John shook his head. "I know I had some champagne earlier. Some scotch. I switched to punch. I don't know what William put in it but it must have packed a wallop! I don't remember any of this."
Hots continued, "Maybe she did this when you were busy talking to someone else. Although how you could have missed hearing that, I'll never know! OH! I hear congratulations are in order!"
Hotspur got up. John said, "What?"
Hotspur pushed his chair in. "I guess you won't know for a little while, huh? I must say, it WAS pretty underhanded. Sounds like something Daniel would do."
"Hey, Mr. Percy! Wardrobe needs to fit you for that velvet cloak!"
Hotspur said, "Oooh, the velvet cloak! Gotta run, John! See ya!"
"But, Hots....?"
But Hotspur was gone. John sat there and rubbed his chin. Just what the heck is going on? Sounds like Hotspur was dipping into the punch more than I was! John went back to reading his magazine. Hmmm.....that's a great looking racquet..

Rosamond and Eleanor walked down the hallway. "I'm supposed to meet Jerry for lunch in a few minutes. Why don't you and John join us and we can discuss the details for that cruise to the Caribbean in February. We can iron out the details."
"Works for me! I am so fortunate to have Celeste as a 'nanny'!"
Eleanor replied, "Where else can you find a nanny that you don't have to pay? I mean, William gives Celeste a salary out of the household funds but she's worth much more than that!"
Rose said, "I know. But she's family now. She fits right in. Sometimes I wonder if she and William will ever get together. They obviously are quite fond of one another. I think William would be lost without her." Eleanor laughed. "I know! I caught a glimpse of him giving her a 'happy new year's' kiss. If it was a '50's movie, I think WILLIAM would be the one with his leg bent up. You know...like this?" Eleanor hugged a post and struck a pose, her arms wrapped around the post and her leg bent up. Rose dissolved into laughter.
Eleanor continued. "I sure wish I knew what was going on. I would ask Celeste if she had the hots for him....but even I don't have the nerve to ask her!"
Rose laughed, "Not if you value your life!"

Eleanor said, "How about Jerry and I meet you in fifteen minutes?"
Rose checked her watch. "OK--how about that little bistro on Burton Road? They have the best hamburgers."
Eleanor sighed. "Oooh, burgers! And an order of onion rings! I have to shoot a scene with Henry this afternoon and the onions may cool any ardor he could possibly have!"
Rosamond said, "Marthy said something really strange. Like I had a conversation with Henry at the party. But I stayed far away from him. Marty said something like 'you sure told HIM!' and that Henry was convoluted for the rest of the night. Something about fourth?"
Eleanor laughed, "Maybe they meant 'fifth'! As in a 'fifth' of Scotch!"
Rose looked in her purse for her keys. "Ah! I left them on the vanity in the wardrobe room. We'll see you and Jerry in...say, fifteen minutes at the restaurant?"
Eleanor shrugged herself into her coat. "OK--whoever gets there first gets the table."
Rosamond said, "OK---see you then."
Eleanor walked down the hall and out the door.
Rosamnd went back to wardrobe and found her keys right where she laid them. She closed the door and started down the hall. She was busy looking in her purse for her lipstick that she didn't hear the voice.
"Not so fast, wench! We have a few things to straighten out!"
She looked up into the angry and bloodshot eyes of Henry2.


SO?!.......by Coralynn

"What things?" Rose asks as she continues to walk toward the door.
Henry grabs her by the arm and yanks her back. "That scathing remark you made to me about being a lousy lover, that's what! In front of everyone, too. My God, woman, I have a reputation to uphold!"
"Reputation for what, my liege?" Rose asks, putting a sarcastic spin on the last word.
"I am reknowned for being a lover, not just a King, and now you've gone and besmirched my good name! Take it back!"
"I never said anything about you as a lover, at least not in front of other people, though, now that you mention it, it could be a good move on my part. Yes, a good move..."
"You said I was fourth in rank amongst the four men you've lain with," Henry tells her, giving her a searing stare.
"Did I now? Hmmmm, then why don't I remember it? Thanks for filling me in, though, Henry, I'll be sure to say that the next time we have a get-together. Or, better yet, I could tell the entire cast of the mini-series we're filming! Yes, I'll do that. Thanks for the idea."
"Everybody already knows!" he thunders, "And I want a retraction.......today."
"Sorry, bud, you're out of luck!" she laughs as she exits the building.
John has been waiting for her just outside the door and has heard the angry voices. "What did Henry want?" he asks casually.
"He seems to think that I said he was a lousy lover in front of everyone at the new years eve party," she answers, "And he's not the first person to mention it. I wouldn't forget saying anything that scathing to him, so if I did it and don't recall it, why not I wonder."
"I know. People have been telling me I said some inflammatory things at the party, too. I don't remember either of us saying anything that would get anyone's attention. There's something going on we don't know.......but what?"
"We'd better hurry, John. We're meeting Eleanor and Jerry at the burger place in ten minutes."
They hop in John's car and drive off.
Henry has been looking out the window that fronts the parking lot, his face still ablaze with anger.

MEANWHILE:

WandaSue places a post-it note on the mahogany table. She looks around and sees a china cabinet that strikes her fancy and puts one on there as well.
Good, babydoll, you have quite a nice collection here. Ahh yes, half of this furniture, plus all the other furniture of BB's that I put in that apartment about 6 months ago. Hey! I could open a furniture store with all these great pieces.
BB returns from the barn to see the back door of the main house ajar and wonders if someone has broken in or is it just Bobby Joe's carelessness.
He takes off his heavy boots by the back door and enters the kitchen. HUH! What's this? He sees a post-it note on the refrigerator. Now why is this thing here? he asks himself as he peels it off and looks more closely. By damn! WandaSue has her name on this. He quickly goes into the living room where WandaSue is sitting with her feet up on a coffee table that also sports a post-it note, reading a magazine and tossing popcorn into the air, catching it in her mouth.
"What do you think you're doing?" he asks angrily, waving the post-it note in the air.
"Oh, good, you found one. I'm just claiming my half of all your earthly possessions in case you decide to divorce me. Community property and all that, ya know?"
"This stuff is mine! I had to buy quite a lot of it new, since someone, and I suspect it's you stole my original furnishings. Return those and we'll talk."
WandaSue gets up from the couch and saunters over to him, resting her arms on either side of his head. "When I move in, I may, I just may, if you're super nice to me and ask 'pretty please with sugar on it,' take the post-it notes off."
"No way are you moving in here, WandaSue!"
"As long as I'm your legal wife I have every right to, and buster, I take my rights seriously!"
"Then it looks like I'd better file for divorce!" he grumbles as he walks back toward the kitchen.
"OH GOOD! Please do! Then I'll really get half of all your stuff. Choose which horses you like the most, and give me a list of the ones you can live without, because I plan to take half of them as well!"
He stops in his tracks and looks back at the smirking face of WandaSue, and wonders how many years he'd get for killing her. Hmmm, he thinks, I don't suppose it makes any difference with the law if she had it coming or not. There must be a way for me to rid myself of this albatross. But what?!


REHASHING THE TRASHING....by Terri

Rose and John pulled into the restaurant parking lot. John said, "I see Eleanor and Jerry are already here."
They walked in and Eleanor and Jerry were perusing the menu. They slid into the booth and the waitress came over. Everyone ordered the cheeseburger platter. Eleanor asked the waitress, "Can I substitute onion rings for the fries?"
"Yes, for fifty cents more," the waitress said.
"Great! Give me the works!" Eleanor said.
Their food delivered, Jerry said, "I've been getting very strange vibes from the party. I ran into Rafe at the gym and he wanted to know if I had straightened things out with El and put her in her place!"
Eleanor said, "WHAT?"
John said, "Something weird is DEFINITELY going on. I've been getting strange conversations from Hotspur and Marty. Like they know something I should know but I don't."
Rose chimed in with, "Henry seems to think I have been broadcasting his lack of bedroom skills to everyone. Now why would I do a thing like that?"
John put ketsup on his fries and said, "Why, indeed?"
Rose said, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing."
"And what's THAT supposed to mean?"
Eleanor interrupted, "Before we start ANOTHER argument with you two, I think we need to get to the bottom of this. Something fishy is going on and we don't know what it is. But I'll bet there is one person who knows."
Jerry, Rose and John said in unison, "CELESTE!"
Eleanor leaned conspiratorially forward, "Right! Jerry? Come to dinner! William likes to have everyone at the dinner table together so he can act like the big patriarch. Let's get to the bottom of this. After all, knowledge is power!"
Jerry took an onion ring off Eleanor's plate and dumped a few fries onto hers. "Sounds like a plan!"
"Good! Dinner is at 7:00."
Eleanor looked at Rose and John who were sitting in silence. Eleanor grew exasperated. "OK, postpone the fight until after we find out what we did or said, OK? By then you may have forgotten this ridiculous disagreement. Or Celeste may give you some ammo and you can REALLY go at it tonight!"
Rosamond's cellphone rang. "Hello?...Hi! No, it's just Eleanor and me...really?...no, I'm sorry to hear that...I hope he'll be alright....well, get him crackers and gingerale and if that doesn't work, give him Emetrol..are you sure this production isn't cursed somehow?....uh huh...uh huh....Marty, I did NOT say that!...well, why would I?....but do you think I would want the whole cast to know how many lov..." She looked at John and his eyebrows were raised. "I'll have to get back with you on that, Marty...because he's a sore loser, that's why!...he gets near my son and he is dead meat!...no, I will NOT wait until after production to dice him up.....if he decides to go to court, some ugly truths just may be brought out that he would do well to forget...then, that's HIS problem!...uh, huh...allright then, I'll tell Eleanor and we'll see you tomorrow."
Eleanor said, "What did Marty want?"
Rose put her phone back in her purse. "Seems George, our esteemed director, drank too much at a New Year's Eve party and decided that on top of his hangover, a plate of oysters might soothe his stomach. Guess his liver was too busy trying to fight off the toxins from the alcohol to worry about the toxins in the oysters..."
Eleanor made a face and said, "Nutshell it, Rose!"
Rose took a bite of her burger. "He's puking...production cancelled for the rest of the afternoon!"
Eleanor smiled. "Whatever it takes!"
John said succinctly, "And the other bit?"
"Oh! Nothing really...Henry is pouting and moping. Thinks I cast disparaging remarks on his manhood so to retaliate he demands satisfaction. He's threatening to sue me in court for custody of Will and declare me an unfit mother."
Eleanor said, "Boy is HE delusional! Looks like you really hit him where he lives, Ro'!"
Rosamond finished her fries and said, "That always WAS his Achilles heel!"
John threw his napkin down. "If I have to hear about Henry or Daniel or Hotspur or Billy Bob or anyone else, I think I will punch the nearest wall!"
Rose jumped a mile. Dead silence and then Eleanor changed the subject. "We'll get to the bottom of this at dinner. By the way, Rosamond, who was that guy who laid one on you at midnight?"
John turned to Rose and put his arm around the back of the booth. "Yeah, what was that all about? He had a fake mustache. Said his name was Van de Hoff. Never heard of him."
Rose said, "I think he's a producer on Broadway."
John's face darkened, "Thought he was performing a tonsillectomy on you. I'll pay the tab--our treat, Jerry!"
Jerry said, "I'll go with you. Next time I get it!"
After they were out of earshot, Eleanor said, "John is pretty touchy. What's up?"
Rose said, "I have no idea. He's been kind of moody lately."
Eleanor said, "What was with that Van de Hoff guy?"
Rose said, "I don't know. He stayed by the sideboard most of the evening and at midnight, he walked straight to me, pushed John out of the way and gave me the dip of a lifetime!" She looked around to see if John was around. She beckoned Eleanor closer. "I've got to tell you, Eleanor...he looked kind of like a geek, but boy! could he ever kiss!"
They laughed and then straightened up when they saw John and Jerry coming back to the table. John said, "Ready to go?" He helped Rose on with her coat.
Eleanor said, "So we'll see you at dinner tonight. One way or the other, we'll get some answers!"


TRAVIS McGEE: from SUPERCOP to SUPERSTUD.....by Terri.

John dropped Rosamond off at the house. "I've got a few errands to run, I'll be back in a bit."
"OK, darling. I'll pick up Will from school. Are you mad at me, John?"
John rubbed his temples. "No, honey, just a lot on my mind, I guess." She looked at him dubiously.
He said, "Really, hon, now give me a kiss and I'll be back in about two hours. I have to do some office work at the gym."
"Be home in time for dinner? Remember, we have to find out what's going on and I think Celeste holds the key."
She stepped back and John drove off. She looked at the car speeding down the road. I wonder what's on his mind...

John pulled into the police station. He saw Alan sitting at his desk. "Got a minute, Alan?"
"Sure, John, what's on your mind? Your wife didn't disappear again, did she?"
"No, nothing like that. I need you to tap in on your computer if you can."
Alan said, "Is it police business?"
"Not really."
Alan grinned, "Good! I hate police business!"
John took a seat. "I need you to run someone's name through the computer."
Alan said, "Sure--let me get to the right screen...and...there!"
John leaned back. "The name is Pieter van de Hoff. Supposedly from Yonkers, removed from the Netherlands."
Alan typed in the name. "Comes up blank. No such person. Anything you can tell me about him?"
John leaned forward on his elbows. "He's about 6', blond hair, couldn't tell the eye color, but he wore horn-rimmed glasses. Combed his hair forward. Athletic build. Looks like he couldn't hold his liquor very well. OH! One other thing.."
"What's that?"
"He wore a fake mustache. That's the part that worries me. Why would a person come to a party and wear a fake mustache?"
"Hiding something? Hiding from someone?"
"Bingo!"
"Why do you want to know? Does it affect you? I mean, it's no crime to wear a fake mustache. Kind of like a toupee on the face!"
"This guy was staring at my wife all evening. I hope he's not a stalker. A crazy fan. It happens, especially with soap stars. People get all involved in the storyline and some can't tell fantasy from fact. When Rosamond' s character Daisy was lost at sea and they had 'Brad', my character, getting involved with Daisy's cousin who was passing through with a traveling circus, you wouldn't believe the mail I got! Accusing me of adultery, all sorts of things."
Alan typed in a few more things. "I kind of red-flagged it. That way if anything remotely happens, it will pop up on the computer. But I wouldn't be overly concerned. I saw the guy. He seemed relatively harmless enough. The two-bit chippie that was there claiming to be William's long lost daughter seemed to know him. Must be a 'john' of hers."
John got up and pushed his chair in. "I appreciate it, Alan. One thing I overheard Rose say. She was talking to Eleanor and didn't know I was as close as I was."
"What's that, John?" "Seems he was a dynamite kisser. THAT'S the part worries me."

Travis sat at his desk watching John talk to Alan. Travis had spent all morning and half the afternoon walking around in a daze. I can't believe I kissed her! I can't believe I just threw my glass in the fireplace and walked right up to her and kissed her! Travis started singing softly to himself,
"This magic moment,
While your lips are close to mine,
Will last forever,
Forever till the end of ti-i--i-me
whoa oh oh oh oh...."

Alan came up to Travis' desk. Travis was in a reverie as he sat before his computer. Can't believe I did it! Can't believe I did it! was his mantra.
Alan said, "McGee?...Travis?.....Hey, Beav!....."
Finally Alan kicked the metal desk with his foot as hard as he could. Travis jumped a mile! "OH! Sorry, Alan, didn't see you there."
Alan frowned. "You must have had a helluva good New Year's Eve. What happened, Mommy bake you oatmeal cookies WITH raisins this time and warm milk and let you stay up till 11:30?"
Travis frowned and puffed himself up with new-found confidence. "NO! As a matter of fact, I was kissed--roundly and royally---at midnight like everyone else! What is it you want?"
Alan looked at Travis with surprise...and maybe a little of amazed respect to see Travis buck him. "We're kind of looking into a Pieter van de Hoff. For a friend. He thinks he may be a stalker."
Travis sputtered, "WHAT? A stalker? I---I don't know...why are you coming to me with this?"
Alan reluctantly said, "Because for all your blundering and bungling, you are the one with the gift for searching out information on the computer. Here's what we know about him."
Alan handed Travis a sheet with the information that John had given him. Travis looked at it nervously. "May just be someone passing through. Not a vagrant, just maybe a guest of a guest..he may never show back up. Anything else you can tell me?" Travis was fishing to see how much Alan and John really knew.
Alan said, "Yes. Reported to be a helluva kisser!"
Alan turned to go back to his desk.
Travis said, "REALLY?" He turned bright pink in the face and resumed singing,
"Sweeter than wine
Softer than a summer night
Everything I want I have
Whenever I hold you tight...
This magic moment...."

Alan looked over at Travis from his desk, shook his head and said to himself, "Yeah. Right!"


DINNER at 7......by Coralynn

Marthy's hair is coming down in tendrils onto her face, which is ruddy and moist from her hour in the kitchen. She places a huge platter of indeterminate food in the middle of the table and then pins back her hair, smiling.
"There!" she takes her seat as Jack emerges from the kitchen with another large platter of food. The others inspect it closely. Something or other is breaded, but what is it?!
Jerry whispers to Eleanor, "Does everyone in this family of yours cook?"
"We take turns, Jer. This is the first time Jack and Marthy have had a turn of their own, and it's very important to them that they succeed."
The platters are passed around and everyone takes generous helpings. Once on their plates, however, most of them try to figure out what the food is!....except for Hotspur who has been invited over and is scarfing down the food like he's just came off a month long fast.
"MMMMMM!" he says between mouthfulls, "This stuff is great! What is it?"
Marthy look stricken, "You can't tell?"
"Not really, but hey, pass that platter, I want some more!"
The others, seeing that Hots isn't turning green, begin to eat as well. It's actually pretty good. Eleanor smiles at Marthy and tells her, "Great stuff, Marthy and Jack!"
William is picking apart the breaded hunks, looking for what lies beneath, but even after scraping off all the breading, HE can't tell. "You'll have to give me the recipe!" he comments.
Rose and John are staring at Celeste, who is beginning to notice, and sighs, "What's the problem, Rose? You're all but staring a hole through my head."
"We must know just what we did and said at the New Years Eve party, Celeste, and figure if anyone knows, it would be you. We've been told we said some rather awful things, but have absolutely no memory of having done so."
El adds, "We're going a bit nuts, too. I was supposed to have said something semi-scandalous, and Jerry as well, but what?!"
Celeste leans back in her chair and roars with laughter. She's laughing so hard it takes awhile before she's able to answer.
They can't see anything that amusing about their questions, so they sit and wait until Celeste finally clears her throat and says, "You have memories like seives! You want to know what happened? You want to know what you said? You know how to operate a computer?"
"Why sure!" they answer in chorus.
"It's ON there, you silly gooses! It's in the STORY!"

If they were cartoon characters, little light bulbs would have been drawn over their heads as the solution dawns on them.
"Of course!" Eleanor exclaims as she leaps up and runs to the computer room. Jerry, John and Rose follow her in as she brings up the website with the Story written on it.
They each read silently, then begin to comment, "You said that?! How dare you?!" Rose explodes.
"Ohhh Jerry, that was a low blow," Eleanor comments.
"She gave us an antidote, that's why we can't remember!"
"We know now though, don't we?" John frowns as he reads.
There are a few more minutes of silence as they read about kissing in the New Year.
"TRAVIS MC GEE!!" Rose yells out, "ACK! ACK!"
"That weazel, I'll kill him with my bare hands!" John smoulders.
Then Rose begins to laugh, "I told Henry2 off, just like everyone said, and I did a rousing good job of it, wouldn't you all agree?"
They return to the dining room and sit in their places again, still laughing. Marthy's eyes are downcast, as they've left half the meal uneaten.
To spare her feelings, John lifts a fork and digs in, "WOW, Marthy, you're some cook! And Jack, I never saw this stuff breaded this well before."
Everyone is still wondering what 'this stuff' is, but each cleans their plates as Marthy again smiles at Jack. The newly married couple is now recognized for their culinary acumen, a real feather in their caps.
Marthy raises her glass to Jack, and he to hers, and as they clink them, the others do as well and a general "Aye!" and "Here! here!" and "Bravo!" are heard in the room.
Rose has stopped laughing about telling off Henry2, and is now beginning to wonder if John has tampered with her birth control pills. What a sneaky thing to do. And I thought I'd finally found a man I could trust!!


COOKIN' DON'T LAST, TRICKERY DO!......by Terri

Bethia and John came over for dessert. Marthy proudly put the dessert down. It consisted of crumbled chocolate cake and Koolwhip. Everyone looked questioningly at it.
"It's kind of like my version of Mississippi Mud Pie."
"OH!" They all said in unison. Marthy spooned it onto plates. Everyone took a bite and coughed politely. Marthy's face registered disappointment. "You don't like it!"
"NO, no, we love it!" everyone clamored.
Jack took a bite and said, "Marthy, are you sure it is supposed to taste this way?"
Marthy said, "Yes, I followed the instructions on the cake mix box."
Jack said gently, "I detect a strange taste in it..."
Marthy took a bite and immediately spit it out. "Ewww!" Her eyes filled with tears.
"I am SO sorry, everyone! I don't know what happened." She jumped up and ran into the kitchen, visibly embarrassed and in tears. Jack threw his napkin down and said, I'll be back, folks."
Jackk went into the kitchen and found Marthy crying. He took her into his arms and said, "Honey, it's not so bad. Now, tell me...how did you make the cake?"
Marthy wiped her tears away on her sleeve. "I used the eggs and the milk and the oil. Just like I was supposed to."
Jack said, "Ah! Now we are getting somewhere. Where's the oil you were supposed to use?"
Marthy looked in the cupboard and pulled it out. "Here it is."
Jack burst out laughing. "Oh, Marthy, Marthy Stewart! I think I found the problem! Honey, you just used OLIVE OIL in the cake!"

Jack and Marthy came out of the kitchen. Jack explained the mixup and they all had a hearty laugh about it. William laughed the hardest. "At least you didn't use cod liver oil like I did once!"
Everyone said, "Ewww! Gross!"
William brought out a gallon of chocolate chip cookie dough he had hidden in his freezeer and passed bowls of it around.

Eleanor said, "OK--the cruise! Marthy? Jack? Care to join us?"
Jack said, "We'd love to but we just got back from VT and I start computer school--the next course. So we can't leave. But thanks for thinking of us."

Eleanor brought out her brochures and laid them on the table. "Here! We go to St. Maarten, St.Croix, the Virgin Islands....it will be glorious! Seven days in the Caribbean sun! We fly to Miami and then get the ship out of there. You all up for it?"
They all nodded. The women began to discuss what to bring, the men discussed where the golf courses were.

That night, as they were getting ready for bed, Rosamond took her pills out and looked at them closely. Let's see....he supposedly switched them in the beginning of December? This is January 1st...She took them out. She looked at them closely. Almost to the end of the pack....that means I probably took at least 30 of them....and for Pete's sake, who ever looks at their pills? I mean, who would even THINK that someone, especially their husband, would tamper with them..
She began to panic. No, I couldn't be...Julie is only nine months old. But maybe he didn't. He said he just didn't remember. So it's possible...but what if he DID? NOT FAIR! A baby would torpedo my acting career. Life would go on for him like it always had...it's not a case of money. Lord knows we have plenty of that.
This should be a mutual decision. Rosamond took a deep breath. Don't panic! Odds are against it..but what if..?
This internal monologue was giving Rosamond a headache so she took a couple aspirins.
As she slid into bed, John reached over to hold her. She said, "I-I'm sorry, John. I'm just not in the mood." She pulled the covers over her head and slept a sleep of the uneasy.

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