COME SEPTEMBER...

THE HUNT FOR RANDY...............by Coralynn

Ernie Shaw gets out of his truck and makes his way into yet another bar.
Word has it Randy Griswold drank like a fish, so why isn't he showing up in any of the bars around here? he wonders.

He enters a bar that's almost dark inside and stands for a few minutes till the pupils of his eyes adjust. He scans the crowd......the guys sitting at the bar, no, none of them is tall enough to be Randy.
He walks the length of the long narrow establishment, peering at people sitting at tables lining the walls. They look up as he slowly cruises by, examining each of them. One of the men gives him a menacing look and begins to stand. Oh-oh, this could be trouble.
"What ya starin' at, dude?" the man asks him, clenching his fists.
"My pal Randy said he'd meet me here, but I don't see him. Sorry if I intruded on you, friend." Ernie hopes that satisfies the man's suspicion. Apparently it does, as the guy sits again and goes back to his conversation with a very sleazy looking bottle blonde.

Ernie is tiring of this search. He sits at the bar and orders a double scotch.
I always get the worst assignments! he thinks, I have to prowl around looking for that Randy jerk we thought we'd whacked, and will whack if we can just find him! It had to be that Montgomery guy we killed by mistake!! Oh well, the jerk probably had it coming, why I don't know, but he probably did. This is ridiculous! I wasn't the trigger man! I wasn't even in the car when the hit was made. All I have on Griswold is a description, too.
His drink is placed before him, which he warms with his hands before tossing back.
Why did I join that gang anyway? I know, I was out of work, and selling drugs is a quick way to make money. That damned cousin of mine, Jake, talked me into it. I hate Jake. He's a slimy bastard. HE was the trigger man, too, or at least Tony told me he was. He could be in a peck of trouble, which, the longer this goes on, wouldn't bother me in the least. Jake was always a smart-mouth jerk. Never liked the guy. Put up with him because our mothers are sisters. HA! That mother of his is a piece of work.........a real painted lady, red-light-district type! Never paid any attention to what her one and only son was up to. She worshipped the idiot. It was "Yes, Jake," and "whatever you want to do, Jake!" all his life! No wonder he turned out bad. No one ever told him 'no.' His Dad went to work, came home, drank himself into a stupor, went to bed, got up in the morning and went back to work, and so on. I'll never forget the week I spent at their place when my Mom went into the hospital to have something done, I forget just what. It was a household from hell! A passed-out Dad and a Mom who spent all her time trying to make herself look like some damned movie star. Ended up looking like a prostitute is what she did. Hey, she very well may have been one, too.

Ruminating about how much I hate Jake isn't going to get me anywhere. Once I find Randy Griswold, I'm going to get out of this gang and move to LasVegas. They'll never find me there! Maybe I could get a job running one of the craps tables.........yeah, that would be cool!
He slaps some money on the bar and goes out to his truck. Time to call it a night, he thinks, Randy Griswold may have skipped town is my guess. Now I'll have to report to Jake that one more night I couldn't find him!
He turns the radio on and cranks the volume up as high as it'll go as he speeds out of the parking lot onto the highway.


DEW DROP WEDDING.......by Terri

"Verla, you look positively radiant!" Rosamond said. She helped Verla adjust her veil.
"Are you sure you are OK with walking down the aisle with Jameson? After all, Billy Bob was supposed to be in my wedding before...well, before..." Verla's eyes misted up.
Rosamond gave Verla a hug and said, "I know you and Billy Bob were close. I know you wish he could be here."
Verla thought, damn right I wish he could be here! If he was, then Rose would be with him and not with that other guy. I'm sure they could have worked their problems out.
Verla said, "I just can't believe that Wanda Sue person didn't sign those divorce papers. I mean, you still are married to Billy Bob...I mean, you were..I mean, it WAS legal, wasn't it?"
Rose adjusted the strap on her bridesmaid dress. "No, it wasn't. It was a bigamous marriage."
Verla persisted. "But how can you just go off and get engaged? I mean, didn't those vows mean anything?"
Rose took Verla's hands in hers. "Verla, I am happy for you. Be happy for me. I am with the man I was involved with even before your cousin came on the scene. We found our way back to each other. Billy Bob and I never did get along. At least we didn't once we said 'I do'. He became controlling and domineering and possessive."
Verla said, "We'll talk of this later, Rosamond. Right now---I'm getting married!"
The wedding was small but elegant. Jameson walked down the aisle with Rosamond.
Anastacia sat there and fumed. Tough luck, Jameson thought. Why couldn't she be just a little bit flashy instead of wearing a beige dress? Rosamond was counting the minutes until she could leave. Verla is a great girl, I' m glad we could remain friends but she's Billy Bob's cousin and she's loyal to his memory. I wish John could have been with me but he chickened out, not that I blame him. He'd be walking into a viper pit.

J.R. and Mary Ellen Montgomery were there. J.R. walked up and gave Rose a warm hug. Mary Ellen nodded to her stiffly. Neither of them mentioned Rosamond's impending marriage, but Mary Ellen did glance at the ring and whispered to her husband who shushed her.

"Jameson, I thought J.R. and Mary Ellen were going back to Texas?" "They are, they stayed in Maine until Verla's wedding. They are going back righ after." "Thank heavens for small miracles." Verla looked radiant and Jake looked very handsome in his tuxedo. After the bride and groom's first dance, Jameson offered his hand to Rosamond. "I guess it's the bridesmaid/ushers' turn to dance. May I?"
Rosamond flashed him a smile and let him lead her out on the dancefloor. She said to Jameson, "I'm happy we could all still stay friends. I suppose you knew that I was planning on filing for divorce."
Jameson said, "No, but I am not surprised. Is Mr. Gwinnett the reason?"
Rose blushed and said, "Not exactly. Jameson, it may be hard to understand because I know how close you and Billy Bob were. But you knew that I was with John that night of the big storm in August. We had been very close and had a falling out. It was at that time I met Billy Bob. It was just bad karma...and bad timing. Another time, another place, we maybe could have made a go of it. But John and I are soulmates."
Jameson pulled back and looked at Rosamond. "Does--did--Billy Bob know about any of this?"
"Heavens no! John and I are still alive, aren't we? And that stuff in Paris. Just my imagination. I'm sorry. Billy Bob and I were never meant to be but I never wished him dead. Can you at least be happy for me?" Jameson leaned in close to Rosamond, smelling her perfume. Damn, why can't Anastacia wear perfume like this? All she wears is that darn stuff from the '50's. Smells like roses. Boring.

"Jameson?"
"Hmm?"
"I asked you a question."
"I'm sorry, Rose. What was it?"
"Do I have your blessing?"
Jameson sighed. "That's a tall order, Rosamond. But yes, you have a right to happiness. Billy Bob will just have---wouldn just have had--to understand."
"Thank you, Jameson. I expect to see you and Anastacia at my wedding."
Jameson pulled back in surprise. "You're planning a wedding--already?"
"October 4th."
"October 4th--anything can happen by then. It's over a year away." Rosamond said quietly, "No, Jameson. October 4th of this year. In 3 weeks."
Jameson said, "You're kidding."
"No, I'm not. John and I saw no reason to wait. If some things didn't happen to me last year that I don't want to go into, John and I would have been married by now." Jameson said solemnly, "Rose, I hope you know what you're doing."
Oh, boy, do I hope you know what you are doing. And can do it without getting killed.
Rose smiled radiantly. "Oh, yes, Jameson! I am marrying the man I love!"
Jameson's stomach did a flip-flop. No, better not tell Billy Bob about this. Hopefully he will be back by then and he can fight his own battles. I'm getting tired of being his henchman. His spy. His....toadie? Jameson spun Rose around and said, "Well, congratulations, honey. I wish you the best."
Rosamond kissed Jameson on the cheek and said, "Thank you, Jameson! And I still consider you family...although I don't know about Anastacia!" Jameson laughed. "I don't know about her either. Come on, let's go watch Verla cut the cake!"


WHAT, THEY NEVER HEARD OF ME?!......by Terri

"Montgomery? Magruder here."
"Any news?" Billy Bob was getting anxious, tired of living in Europe and longing for the comforts of hearth and home.
"Well, my 'mole' in the Parker organization has been making inquiries. Discreetly, of course. He's finding out that the Parkers have no knowledge of you. And the ones that do are very ambivalent. In other words, they could care less! I guess they figured you weren't worth whacking!"

"WHAT? Well, then, who ordered the hit on me?"
"Dunno. Jealous husband?"
"I haven't been with a married woman since...oh, wait. That redhead the summer before I hooked up with Rosamond...no, they were separated. At least that is what she told me. No, they moved to Ottumwa, Iowa or some such God-forsaken boonies. Suppose my own wife....? And that Gwinnett guy...? No, that's impossible! Rosamond doesn't have it in her...Magruder, find out who ordered the hit and find out like YESTERDAY! I am going squirrelly here. Enough culture--I NEED A BIG MAC!"
Magruder said, "What's in it for me?"
"I'll triple your fee if you can find out in the next 30 days."
Magruder said, "Start packing your bags, Montgomery, because it's a done deal. Now about that skinny girl hanging around with your ex-I mean- your current wife..."
"She is NOT my wife!"
"OK, OK, don't get your jockies in a twist! I can't find out a thing about her. It's like she appeared out of thin air. Spooky--like a ghost! All I can find out is that her name is Isabella. Your wife--I mean your ex-wife--I mean your current, oh, hell, whatever she is! Anyways, she's staying with her. This Isabella has no paper trail whatsoever.
Now about your new current wife--or current non-wife--your, uh, common-law wife--or uh, UNwife--hell, should I just say CONCUBINE? Anyways, she was picked up for prostitution by an Officer Travis McGee. Charges dropped, case dismissed. She was in the park reading from a script with a---let me see my notes---a Harry Percy. People call him 'Hotspur' Ha-ha! I can only guess why! Wonder if your, uh, whatever, found out why!" Magruder roared with laughter until he realized he was the only one laughing.

Billy Bob said, "What about the drug charges on Gwinnett?"
Magruder started laughing again. "Turns out they were Teddy Ruxpin vitamins..."
"Teddy WHO?"
"....and powdered sugar from a Krispy Kreme donut----NOT a Dunkin' Donut, I might add! Little more pricey but I guess Gwinnett figured the little kid was worth the extra nickel! HAHA!"
Again silence on the other end. Magruder cleared his throat. "Now about that jacket...it's a no-show. Do I have to start looking through the thrift stores and Salvation Army?"
"No. Jameson said there was no sign of it at the yard sale. She knows that's an expensive jacket. And that it was my favorite one. I have a feeling she gave it to someone. But who?"
"What, I have to start going through people's closets? Uh, I don't think so!"
"If you solve this and I'm home in the next 30 days, I can look for it myself if you can't find it. Autumn is coming and I have a feeling that jacket is going to make its debut by the end of October. On someone's back. And when I find out who...I'll rip that jacket right off his back along with his heart!"
Click!


THE WEDDING SHOWER..............by Coralynn

The doorbell rings.
Eleanor opens the door and sees the same reporter who covered Bethia's shower standing there with her cameraman.
Ann Harmon is hoping for the same reception she got the last time, and is not disappointed when Eleanor smiles and admits them.
She whispers to Ann, "I hope William doesn't see you. He has a great aversion to reporters, especially ones who come with a cameraman!"
Ann gives her an innocent nod and smile. If only Eleanor knew that this time Mr. Nichols told her to get a juicy story or don't come to work the next day!

William sees them and draws Eleanor aside, "I told you, no media!"
"Look, William! Those pictures from Beth's shower were taken innocently. These two have no ulterior motives. I like them, so they stay!"
William whispers ominously, "If anything embarrasing hits tomorrow morning's newspaper, El, I will hold you personally responsible."
"Fair deal!" she says as she answers the next doorbell ring.

Hotspur and Mike stand there with huge packages. She ushers them in and shows them the area set aside for the gifts.
"I sure hope I got John something he'll like!" Mike says nervously.
"Don't worry about it, Mike! I'm sure he will," Eleanor says over her shoulder as she answers the next ring.
Bill and Hillary greet her warmly, and take their gifts to the gift pile.
Hillary asks Eleanor in a soft voice, "So Rose is finally going to marry John, is she? I didn't think her marriage to that Bobby-Boy or whatever his name was, would last."
"You and everyone else!" Eleanor agrees, "But having him found murdered wasn't the way she would have chosen to end it."
Marilyn comes dancing out into the vestibule and hugs Hillary, whose eyes widen, "You know, you still look like Marilyn Monroe to me! It's uncanny!"
"I know," Marilyn pretends it's a burden, "Everywhere I go I get stares and whispers. You're in the public eye, too. Surely it tires you as well, and you're really youself; I'm just a dead-ringer look-alike!"
Hillary puts her arm around Marilyn and they proceed into the large living room where the guests are congregating.

The doorbell rings again.
When Eleanor opens the door, she sees Grace, someone she hadn't given a thought to in months, not since Grace got drunk and attacked a reporter after Beth's shower. She shudders.
This time Grace is wearing a very modest dress, which is a relief after the one she wore to Beth's shower, which showed all her assets. Too bad she's such a dimwit, Eleanor thinks, because she's a beautiful woman.
Grace timidly enters and then pauses before she enters the living room.
"What's the matter, Grace?" Eleanor asks, taking pity on the poor woman.
"I made a spectacular of myself at the last party, and I'm embarrased!"
"You mean a spectacle?"
Grace nods.
"No one even remembers," Eleanor lies, "But Grace......please do watch what you drink. We have a lot of Orange Crush for people who don't want alcoholic beverages, so if you stick with that you should be fine."
Grace smiles gratefully and takes a seat on the couch beside Hotspur and Mike.
"Well, well, what have we here?" Hotspur looks at Grace with lust in his eyes.
She tries to shrink back into the couch cushions.
"From around here, are you?" he persists.
"I live in Beth's blue house," she tells him, hoping he stops questioning her.
"Downstairs from Mike and me!" Hotspur is getting interested, "Why have we not seen you about?"
"I don't get out much," she tells him, again hoping the conversation will end.
"You must come up for a drink some time!!" Hotspur is on a roll, "Why, a beautiful woman like yourself should have plenty of boyfriends! Are you seeing anyone?"
"Seeing?!"
"Yeah, you know, shacking up, doing the horizontal tango?"
She isn't sure what he's talking about, but it sounds evil, so she tells him, "I beg your pardon!! I'm an upstanding Puritan woman and would never think to......"
"Hmmm, Puritan, Puritan, where have I heard that term before? Well, no matter, I can ask Eleanor. She knows everything. But the invitation stands, gorgeous!"
Grace is so uncomfortable around Hotspur that she gets up and moves across the room, sitting down beside Marilyn and Hillary.
"My dear, you look charming!" Hillary compliments the other woman.
Grace smiles and decides to stick to Hillary like glue. Surely nothing bad can happen if she does.


WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?........by Terri

Daniel and Rafe pulled up in the drive. Daniel sat in his Jeep and pulled out a flask. It had been obvious by now that he had started drinking before he arrived.
Rafe said, "What is the problem NOW, Daniel?"
Daniel took a long pull on the flask. "You know, I'm beginning to think they really ARE going to get married!"
Rafe looked at Daniel incredulously and shook his head. "Did you have any doubts?"
"With Rose anything is possible. I didn't think she'd run off to New Orleans and marry that cowboy. After Bethia's wedding, I came THIS CLOSE to regaining my foothold in her affections. Took her too far on the brandy, she passed out."
Rafe stared ahead. "I don't know, Daniel, they seem really happy. And John's always been fair with me. He gave me a decent job and didn't fire me when I blew up that toilet. Think of it this way! Rosamond will now be your sister-in-law!"
Daniel said sarcastically, "That's like winning a Yugo when you are expecting a Ferrari! Oh, yeah, Rafe, that's a big help! Now my baby is going to have a Daddy-Uncle and an Uncle-Daddy!"

Bethia and Roger came in the back door, carrying their gifts. Roger smiled, "Never thought I would see this day! Next time Rose comes to see me in an official capacity, there won't be any doubt as to who the father is!" Bethia giggled and gave him a playful punch on the arm. "Hush, Roger! I think William will heave a sigh of relief once those two are wed. Rose made him want to tear his hair out at least three times a week! Between those rosebeds and the musical beds, it's a wonder he hasn't stroked out!"
Roger laughed, "When he burst out crying the day Rose and John announced their official engagement, I think it was out of relief and not sentiment!"

Bethia shook her head. "No, William always had a soft spot for Rosamond. Like a wayward daughter. He let her get away with stuff ordinarily he should have grounded her for. He came pretty close to kicking her out, though. Any disaster, 9 times out of ten you can just take your finger and zero it in on Rose! BUT if it wasn't for her, I never would have met you and well, the rest is history!"
Roger took her into his arms and looked lovingly into her eyes. "When are you going to..?"
Bethia hushed him with her fingers to his lips. "After the wedding. I'm not going to do anything to take away from Rosamond's time in the spotlight. Time enough later."

Marty and Barbara Henshaw knocked on the door. Barbara said to her husband, "I just can't believe this is really happening! I never dreamed John and Rose were a couple in real life until a couple weeks ago! I always thought he was seeing that Penelope Patterson! Even though she wasn't his type, she was all over him that time we went to Chez Pierre with them. When you told me Rosaomond and John were engaged, you could have knocked me over with a feather! This makes wonderful publicity for As the Planet Turns! What a whirlwind courtship, Martin!" Marty laughed. "Whirlwind courtship? That hurricane had been brewing in the Atlantic Ocean for the past year! After Rosamond's husband died, that hurricane finally made landfall!"
Barbara looked amazed at her husband. "You mean for the last year they have been....?"
'MARTY! BARBARA! Wonderful you could be here!" William opened the door. Marty smiled hello and Barbara just stared, trying to assimilate what Marty had just implied. She regained her poise. "Oh, look, Marty, there's Gwen and her husband! Wonder if she is co-ordinating the wedding dresses, after all, she is in charge of wardrobe! Oh, Gwen! Over here!"

"So how do I look?" "Youse looks swell, doll! " Vinnie Paponetti looked appreciatively at Sheila. "Dis is definitely a party worth celebrating! I can remember when dey first blew into town! Rosamond looked like a scared little rabbit and John looked so out of place. Heard he came from Southold. Not exactly de Big Apple! But hey, they adjusted and now look at us. Hobnobbing with the uppercrust of society. Always told ya, babe, I'd wrap you in silk and satin!"
Eleanor opened the door and hugged Sheila. "So glad you could make it, Paponettis! You've been friends with us for like forever! Come on in."
Sheila grabbed her husband and whispered, "Never thought I would be at a party with the Clintons." Vinnie whistled through his fingers and waved. "Hey, Billy! Hilly! How ya doin?"

Alan Carson looked dapper in his new turtleneck and jeans. I can't believe that the guys from the gym invited me here. I hope I am welcome after all that arrest stuff in the last month. He drew a deep breath and knocked on the door. Eleanor opened it with a puzzled look and said, "Were we making too much noise, Officer? Or is someone parking on the neighbors' lawn?"
Alan cleared his throat. "Uh, no, Miss...Acquitaine, is it? I, uh, I was invited, but if that's a problem, I can, uh, just go.." as Alan turned away. Eleanor grabbed him by the collar of his turtleneck and dragged him backwards. "OH, NO YOU DON'T!! If you were invited, then you stay, Officer...Carson! That's it!" Eleanor looked out in the yard, shading her eyes. "Unless you brought that little pipsqueak with you."
Alan laughed, "No, Beaver had homework and Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver won't let him out until he finishes it!"
Eleanor smiled and said, "By all means, Officer Carson, come in and join the party!"
"It's Alan."
"Call me Eleanor!"

Slim pulled up in his car. He and a couple other trainers from the gym decided to carpool together. One of the guys said, "Wonder if she's a partner in the gym now?"
Slim said, "No, but I'll bet he won't pay her now! He'll expect her to do the aerobics class for free. It probably will be, 'Hey, honey, can you take this class? Thanks, babe. What are wives for, anyways, huh?' Then he'll lay a big smacker on her lips and tell her what he wants for dinner and she'd better skedaddle home and fix it. Then the babies start coming..." Slim shook his head. "At least that's the way it is in Texas. Yep, men are men and women are women. Although I did spend the night with Rosamond one hot sultry night..."

The other trainers ears perked up and looked at Slim with new respect. "Don't hold out on us, Slim, ol' boy..."
'Does John know...guess not, you still have your job. We won't tell...come on, details, details...!"
Slim protested, "It's not what you think, guys! She really liked my pick-up lines. I asked her if she wanted to go for sex and pizza and she turned me down. I figured, OK, so she doesn't like pizza...Anyways, there's this book I highly recommend, it's called 'Advanced Macking" or the Lazy Man's Guide to One Night Stands.... but just to clarify it, well, it's a long story and one that I don't want John to find out about however innocent.."


GUESTS, GIFTS and GAFFS

Part #1: by Coralynn

WandaSue and 'Belle' drive slowly by the house on Winding Willow. WandaSue (aka Susan Hemingway) motions toward the house and tells Belle, "There's the house those rich, snooty people live in. Look at all the cars! They must be having a party! Did they invite us?!"
"Why would they invite us, WandaSue? Do they like us, in other words, do they like you?"
"No! They dispise me, as a matter of fact! They took me back to 1692 Salem, hoping I'd be hung as a witch, that's how much they like me! But I met up with a real witch who gave me the time travel amulet which you managed to throw out! I'm still angry over that!"
"I don't know how many times I have to tell you how sorry I am, Wanda, before you forgive me."
WandaSue sighs loudly, "What's done is done. Look, there are more people arriving. See the handsome man getting out of the car.......the one that just pulled in? I could go for him! Rich people always attract those great looking hunks! Taint fair!"
"But you said you had a million dollars, Wanda, doesn't that make you rich, too?"
"HA! Fat chance! Guess I just don't have enough 'class' for that bunch!"
"Wonder if Billy Bob is there," Belle asks in a dreamy voice.
"You know he's in Paris, dimwit!" is her answer.

Eleanor gives Jerry a big hug and, linking arms, walks with him into the living room.
He sees Roger and Beth and smiles, "Hail the happy couple! How ya doing?"
They sit near each other and chat as the doorbell rings one more time.
Eleanor looks around the room and wonders who is still missing. Ahhhh yes, Henry8 and Luke, who stand on the porch beaming at her when she opens the door.
"Are we late?" Luke asks.
"You are just on time; the shower is about to begin," she tells them as they enter the house. "Are you going to perform for us, Ludwig, I mean, Luke?"
"I did write a little piano piece in honor of the happy couple," Luke admits, "I hope it won't be too presumptuous if I play it for them."
"They'll love it!" Eleanor says encouragingly, "Come in! Sit down! Marilyn, our social director, is about to start the festivities."

Rose and John look up at Marilyn, who is standing in the middle of the room, which is full to capacity.

"Thank you all for coming," she begins, "I know Rose and John are thrilled to see you all here today. We are here to celebrate their coming nuptuals, give them gifts and have a good time! This household is noted for having many successful gatherings such as this....." she looks at William, who is trying to smile through clenched teeth, remembering the disastrous dinners and parties they've had in the past........"and this one will be no exception. We will begin with the presents, then Luke is going to play a new piano piece composed in honor of Rose and John, and then we will feast on the wonderful meal we picked up from the caterers. Sorry guys, no catering service on the premises this time, not after what happened at Beth and Roger's shower. Also......no one is going to jump out of a cake!"
Those who attended Beth and Roger's shower laugh hearily. William is thinking, 'Good! There's one disaster averted!'

Celeste joins Marilyn as hostess, bringing out the first present for Rose and John.
"There's a reason why this gift has to be the first!" she winks at Beth, who is leaning forward in eager anticpation.
A very large box that seems to be wiggling, is put in front of Rose, who pulls off the ribbon and lifts the lid. A golden retriever puppy pops out of the box and leaps into her lap. She laughs with glee, looking at Beth and Roger, "Thank you! What a great present! I take it this is a litter mate of your new puppy!"
"That's right," Beth comfirms it, "I always wanted a dog, remember William, when we drove out here the first time with the real estate agent and you told me there was enough land to keep a dog? Well, now you have a dog and so do I!"

William is not thrilled that she remembers back that far. Well, at least it'll be Rose's dog, not his. But what has he heard about the propensity of golden puppies? Ah yes, they dig. He groans, thinking of his rose bushes.

PART #2: by Terri

Celeste took the puppy and put her in the crate that Bethia had brought for her, and patted the dog's head. This way you won't get hurt or trampled on, puppy!
Rose picked up one box and shook it. She read the label. "It's for John!" John opened it up carefully. Inside was a pair of handcuffs with a key. The note said, "You two have racked up "frequent flyer miles" in the arrest dept. Next time, just whip them out and say, 'No, thanks, we have our own!' " Rose and John looked at Alan and laughed. Alan said, "Once you are married, we hope we don't have to use them on you! Oh, you can use them on each other..." which made the entire room laugh.
Rosamond opened an assortment of lingerie. The sexiest seemed to be from Bess and Marthy. Rosamond laughed, "You girls have a very vivid imagination... and a wild side!"
Rose picked up a small package with the prettiest wrapping paper she had ever seen. "This is almost too pretty to open!" she said. "The note on the card says it is a personal gift to a very special lady!" She opened up the gift and inside was the loveliest white teddy Rosamond had ever seen. She gasped and put it aside. She said, "This was a personal gift and I don't want to share it with the rest of you! It's not obscene or anything, it's just....a gift from someone very special to me!" Everyone looked at John and he shrugged his shoulders. "Not me!"

Rosamond caught Marthy's eye and smiled her warmest smile and secretly mouthed 'thank you' to her. Marthy was so happy Rose liked her gift that she almost burst. She thought, Thanks to Rosamond, she's given me confidence when I needed it.
John picked up one and said, "This says this book is for me and me alone! No signed card. Let's read what the note says, 'John may need to refer to this frequently. Rosamond has it memorized.' " John tore off the wrapping paper. Inside was a copy of the Kama Sutra, the Indian book of love. The note inside the book read, "INSTRUCTION MANUAL. TO KEEP THE MOTOR PURRING" Dead silence fell over the room. John's face got red. A giggle started in the crowd. It was contagious. Before too long the entire room was falling over laughing. John couldn't help but laugh. He looked up and caught the look on Daniel's face. Daniel picked up his glass and gave a little toast to John. John almost felt sorry for Daniel. He had no doubt that Daniel still had the hots for Rosamond. Yeah, pal, I know how you feel. I felt that way when she married that cowboy. And now you are losing her to your brother.

Daniel got up and walked into the kitchen.
The rest of the gifts were china, crystal, a gift certificate to a very expensive and exclusive art gallery in Manhattan, gift certificates to upscale furniture stores..let's face it, these people were rich! And generous!

Ann Harmon took quick notes and Rick McDowell her photographer was discreetly snapping pictures in the corner. Rick was thinking, it's great Soap Opera Digest sent me along and agreed to buy the pictures the paper didn't want. And Ann is free-lancing for the Soap Opera Digest, too. After the paper comes out. What a scoop! Two of the stars from As the Planet Turns--winning the Hottest Couple Ever award and then finding love in real life! Should make good copy. Although it's a little boring right now. Wish something scandalous and exciting would happen.

Luke stood up and said, "My gift I could not wrap. It is one from the heart." He stood up and went to the piano and played a song with a jazzy little beat. Rose and John sat there mesmerized. Afterwards Rose stood up and said, "I've never had a song written for me. Luke, that was just soul-stirring!" John walked over and clapped him on the back. They were both truly touched. Marilyn stood up and said, "Luke and I have been working on this little arrangement and I want to sing it for you and John. I think you wil catch the meaning of the words!" And she launched into a rendition of Etta James' "At Last".

William and Celeste both stood up. Celeste nodded to William and he cleared his throat. With a little catch in his voice, he said, "Since Rosamond and John's parents have both uh, passed away, Celeste and I would like, as surrogate parents, to thank you all for coming to celebrate the love that John and Rosamond have found in each other. They have traveled a long, hard road. Some of the rocks in that road Rosamond had put there herself" --and here the crowd burst into laughter---"but it is like the old fairy tale and let us hope from here on out the will have sunny skies and plenty of love and laughter."

Daniel poured himself another whiskey in the kitchen. Yeah, John gets his way again. Things go great for John. Never mind that I love her too and that baby is mine. Why couldn't she love ME? Why didn't she look at ME the way she looks at John? He downed the whiskey in one gulp.

Celeste clapped her hands. "There is a buffet in the pool area. Everyone help yourself. There is plenty of food. And William? Will you open the champagne?"
The guests went out to the patio where there was a table laden with seafood, crabcakes, lobster tails, assorted salads and fruit plates and champagne with punch. Desserts were at another table. On the top was a beautiful cake. Not quite a wedding cake--but close. Rosamond took John by the arm and said, "Eleanor and Celeste really outdid themselves! OH, John, it's really happening! We are finally going to be married!"
John kissed her. "Not soon enough. I won't rest easy until that wedding band is on your finger, we said 'I do' and the ink is dry on the marriage certificate!"
The doorbell rang. Marilyn answered the door. She came to Rose and John with a solemn face. She whispered, "I think you both should come in the living room. There is a special messenger for you and he says it is personal and it should be given to no one but Mrs. William Robert Montgomery." At the sound of that name, John winced. Rose looked concerned. "John? What could be wrong now?"

John took her by the arm. "I don't know, but we'd better find out. Messengers always bring bad news." Marilyn went back in the room with her. The messenger said, "Mrs. Montgomery?" Rose bit her lip and said seriously, "Yes, that's me." The messenger handed her a legal sized envelope. "This was to be given to you personally." He left.

Marilyn hung out in the background as Rosamond ripped open the envelope and her face went pale. She scanned the papers. John said worriedly, "What is it, honey?"
Rose looked up and gave a big smile. "My annulment papers came through! I am a totally free woman!" John whooped, grabbed Rosamond and swung her around.
They looked at Marilyn. "This is your doing, isn't it?" Marilyn just smiled and said, "Patrick and I arranged it so you'd have the ultimate shower present of all times. And I must say....it IS unique, isn't it? Not every bride to be gets this for a shower gift!" They laughed and joined their party.


Part #3: by Coralynn

John stands to make an annoucement. Everyone looks up from their deck chairs.
He looks at Rose and smiles, "My love, did you wonder why we got a gift certificate for furniture?"
"Yes, I did!" she answers.
He pulls a photo out of his pocket, "You know the house four doors down that has the For Sale sign on it?" he places the picture in her hands.
"Yes, but not in this picture it doesn't!" she's becoming confused.
"Because it's been Sold.........to US!"
She gives a whoop and dances around yelling, "I love it! I love it!"
Everyone laughs and applauds.

Belle tugs at WandaSue's sleeve, "Come on, let's get out of here! I can't believe they can't see us out here!"
"Hear all the yelling? They've moved out into the back yard! We'd better walk around so we can peek into the yard. Nothing much is going to happen in the house!"
"Can't we leave, please?" Belle is begging.
"You can leave, Belle," WandaSue whispers to her as they move close to the corner of the house, "You can start walking, though God knows how you'd find your way back to Pleasantville from here! If you want a ride back, you'll have to stick it out!"
Belle knows she's defeated, but stands back against the house as far away from the corner as she can. WandaSue is peering into the back yard, her mouth watering from the aromas wafting over from their barbeque.
She thinks, 'This looks like a shower, could it be Rosebud and John Gwinett's wedding shower? Sure look like it with all those gifts they opened. Can't be a birthday party; what are the chances they'd both have their birthdays on the same day? Nope, that little witch is two-timing Billy Bob but good. He'll be livid. Now, how can I turn this to my advantage?' she thinks and schemes and comes up with nothing very useful, so she thinks and schemes some more.

"Little Will!" Celeste calls out, "Can you put this leash on the puppy and take her for a walk?"
Gleefully Little Will does so. They walk around the back perimiter of the property, the puppy stopping to smell just about every blade of grass, every tree, every flower. Will thinks this is the neatest puppy he has ever seen. How frisky it is, and strong! Why, the puppy is pulling him along, not the other way around.
He laughs, then trips on his shoelaces.
"Gotta tie them up again, puppy!" he tells the dog, who stops briefly waiting for his companion to resume their walk. Will needs both hands to tie the shoes, so he places the leash on the ground for just a minute.
It's that minute that the puppy decides to go off on her own. She runs as fast as she can around the side of the house. A-ha! What have we here? More playmates! The puppy jumps up on a lady and knocks her down. The lady screams bloody murder. Then another lady joins the first one and yells at the puppy, who scampers back to Will.

"What's that noise, Hotspur?" Mike asks.
"Sounds like a damsel in distress!" Hotspur answers as he rushes to the side of the house.
Sprawled in the grass with dirt on her dress is a woman he has never seen before.
"May I help you up, madame?" he asks in a concerned tone.
"NO!" the woman stands up and screams, "YOU turned that dog lose on me!"
This yelling is easily heard by the others, who then come around the side of the house. Ann Harmon and her cameraman quickly push to the front. He snaps pictures. She waits to hear more.
William and John take charge, "We know who you are, WandaSue aka Sharon Hemingway! How dare you trespass like this?"
Unbeknownst to WandaSue, they have also alerted the Police. Now, to just keep her there long enough for the Police to arrive.
By now WandaSue is out of control, "YOU!" she shrieks, "You took me to 1692 Salem, hoping I would be hung as a witch! Fooled you, fooled you!! I escaped! And YOU, Rosebud, you expensive piece of trash, YOU are about to marry a man when the man you're supposed to be married to is still alive! Guess what, sister? He's legally married to ME! But did I inherit the money and the land that was rightfully mine? NO!!! You did! I got a lousy dollar in his will. I want my share! I want my share!"
She continues to yell this last phrase over and over till the Police take her away and put her in the squad car. Belle looks around desperately for a place to hide, but William has already seen her and recognized her.
He walks up to her and asks, "What on earth are you doing hanging around with someone as disreputable as WandaSue, Isabella?"
"She understands me, William! She let me travel here with her out of that horrible 12th Century you had me in. I hate the 12th Century, and I'm not going back!" then she whines, "I love Billy Bob Montgomery! He's my soul mate!"
"He's DEAD, you crazy old bag of bones!" Eleanor yells at her, "Are you totally demented?"
Isabella sits on the ground and cries.
Ann looks at Rick as he snaps more pictures, and writes down verbatim everything said. It may not make sense, but by golly, write it down and worry about that later.

William pulls out his cellphone and calls for a taxi. "Do you know where you live, Isabella?"
She nods.
"Just tell the nice Cabbie where it is, and here, this money should cover it. I would strongly suggest you find more appropritate friends, too."
"But I love him, I love him......" the voice fades away as William escorts her to the driveway where a taxi is just pulling in.
Is isn't just Ann and Rick who are thunder-struck by all this; Hillary is dumbfounded, and Vinnie and Sheila have no idea what just transpired.
"What was that?!" Hillary asks Bill.
He draws her aside and whispers, "I'll tell you when we get home. You won't believe it, but I'll tell you just the same!"
The group walks back into the back yard as Little Will and the puppy, both panting and thirsty, return. The steaks are about done; the lobster at its succulent best, and the festivities continue.


Part 4: by Terri

William came over to Celeste and put his arm around her. "You really outdid yourself on the catering, Cissy!"
Celeste gave him a squeeze on his arm and said, "Eleanor did alot of the footwork. We just picked up the food from the caterers and Marthy and Bess arranged it under Bethia's supervision. And one other thing--no one, but NO ONE calls me Cissy--except you, Billy!"
They laughed in companionship and Celeste gave William a peck on the cheek out of affection.
Rick McDowell tugged on Ann Harmon's sleeve. "Would ya look at that?"
Ann turned around to see William and Celeste talking and laughing. "What about it?"
Rick McDowell said, "I think there's something going on between them. They just hugged and the Conquering Chef just gave his lady love a smacker on the cheek! And I got it all on film! WOW! What a scoop!"
Ann smiled. "The steaks aren't the only thing that is juicy here! And they DID refer to themselves as the 'surrogate parents'! It's a start, but not juicy enough for Mr. Nichols. Something had better break loose pretty soon. Wonder who that nutcase was that they took away in the squad car? She kept referring to herself as the current Mrs. Montgomery. And that skinny woman wailing how she loved 'Billy Bob'. Wasn't that the name of Rosamond de Clifford's deceased husband? The newspaper always referred to him as William Robert Montgomery. Hmmm...stands to reason--William Robert...Billy Bob..Maybe the two of us should mingle. Signal me if you come across someone willing to talk. The champagne is starting to flow and it should start loosening up the crowd in about, oh, a half hour or so."

Biding her time and following her 'half hour' rule, Ann Harmon walked casually up to Hotspur and sat down next to him. Hotspur gave her the once--and twice--over. Hotspur said, "How ya doin'?" Ann smiled and said, "Alright,...so far!" Hotspur said, "Can I get you some champagne?"
Ann said, "Maybe later..right now, just club soda with a twist of lemon." Hotspur went off in search of soda and lemons. Rick came up. "Anything so far?" "No, but that big hunk just went to get me some soda. He's had a few glasses of champagne. Bet I can get him to talk with a few leading questions!' Rick said, "You're ON!"
Hotspur came back a few minutes later with soda and another glass of champagne for himself. Ann smiled her thanks and Hotspur sat next to her. He said, "This is wonderful stuff! Can't find this where I come from!"
Ann smiled encouragingly. "And where might that be?"
"Northumberland England. My family owned a vast estate there. We had serfs..."
Ann raised her eyebrows. "Surf? Isn't Northumberland land-locked?"
"Huh? We had peasants living on our estate."
"OH! Well, here we call them 'lower income' or 'financially challenged.' Are you friends of the bride or the groom?"
Hotspur smiled in reminiscence. "Ohhh...friend of the bride. Intimate friend of the bride."
Ann Harmon's ears perked up. "Oh! You've known her for quite a while, then?"
Hotspur grinned. "Yep! Actually knew her since she was three."
"May I ask how old you are then?"
"Oh, I'm 31, Rosamond is 22. Yep--almost knew her in the Biblical sense, if ya know what I mean!" Hotspur winked.
"Really? You and she....?"
Hotspur explained, "It's like this. Our families owned lands adjoining in Northumberland. Her grandmother was a de Tonei. My family are the Percys. THE Percys of Northumberland. Rose would visit her grandmother and I stabled my horse in their stables. One night we went riding. She was fourteen.."
"FOURTEEN?"
"Miss Harmon, you have to realize where we come from some girls are wed at 14. Rosamond and I went riding one midsummer night. Her parents were at the manor and they didn't keep that close an eye on her."
Ann did some quick math. "But if she was 14, you would have been, what? Twenty- three?" Hotspur grinned. "Sure was!"
"But--but--that's against the law!"
Hotspur grew indignant. "Not where we come from!"
"OK, continue..please!" Ann was taking mental notes.
"She was a hotsie-totsie back then, too. I thought, hey, if we, you know...well, her parents would insist we wed and then the de Tonei lands and the Percy lands would merge..."
"You were willing to take advantage of a fourteen year old for LAND?"
Hotspur said, "Hell, yes! But believe me, there was no taking advantage of! Unfortunately, her old lady came out to the stable to eventually look for Rosamond. Boy, did she scream bloody murder when she caught us!"
Ann was fascinated. "What did you do?"
Hotspur sighed. "Got dressed and came out of the loft. What more could we do?Alas, it was not meant to be?"
"But...but she was fourteen!"
"Yeah, but WHAT a fourteen year old. Gotta go, Miss--oh, Mike! Wait up!"
Ann shook her head. Fourteen? The English were always so proper. He was 23--what was she, a little LOLITA?" Ann drew out her taperecorder and talked into it. "Note to myself. Write the 14 yr old story up. Over!"
And with that she put it back in her purse and joined the crowd, determined to mingle and mix.


MEANWHILE........by Coralynn

McGee and Malone listen, fascinated by the information pouring out of this woman who the others call WandaSue. "I married him as a young virgin and he stole my heart along with some other things, then dumped me when his family disapproved. But I fooled them all! I never signed the divorce papers or annulment papers or whatever the hell they were. I am the real Mrs. William Robert Montgomery. Rosebud is a bigamist, or Billy Bob is, well somebody is! I got one dollar in his will and she got everything else, and I'm his lawfully wedded wife! Can you beat that?! PLUS......now this is where it gets reallllllly good, guys: the bastard is still alive! Yes! Don't give me the fish-eye, he is as alive as you and me. Don't look for him around here, though.......nonono. Go to Paris. Ya can't miss 'em! Ask him why he staged his own death. Go on.....make plane reservations.......get yourself over there! Don't you wanna crack the case? Be heroes? I'm giving you a hot tip," she grabs Travis McGee by his tie and pulls his face close, "I'm giving you a tip that could make you a hero all over Westchester County!"
She lets go of his tie and pushes him back, smirking, "It's all up to you!"


Part 5: by Coralynn

Mike's face is animated as he tells Jack about his recent trip back to Atlantis. Jack is laughing and encouraging Mike to tell every detail. How interesting it is to live with people from so many different times and places!
Ann, standing nearby, hears some of it and edges closer to where the two young men are sitting. Since they hardly notice her, she sits on the other side of Jack and listens too.
"I tell you, Jack, it was marvelous! The slaves in Atlantis were finally freed!"
Ann thinks, "Where has he been? The slaves in Atlanta have been free ever since the Civil War!"
"Eleanor told us to take a few modern things with us like high heels, nylons and bras...."
"What are those?"
"You mean you didn't have those in your timeframe?"
"No, I never heard of them. Tell me more...."
Ann is scribbling as fast as her pen will move.
At one point Jack turns to see who is sitting beside him, but since he has no idea every word is being recorded, he turns back to Mike and asks, "So what was Princess Theodosia doing after she lost her crown?"
"You'll love this......she was assigned the job of picking up litter along the roadways because that's all her little pea-brain was good for!" Mike slaps his knee as the two fellows roar with laughter.
Ann decides to take a chance, and, leaning forward, asks Mike, "This Princess Theodosia was someone you disliked?"
Without hesitation he answers, "Ya see, the problem in Atlantis was that the women ruled absolutely, and treated the men like slaves. After Eleanor appeared to them and they thought she was their Goddess and she told them to mend their evil ways and make the men their equals, then, and only then, did the men get any respect. Why, they told me that everyone had to take a test to see how intelligent they were. That's why Princess Theodosia was bumped down to such a menial job! Don't'cha love it?"

Ann gives him a wide smile and laughs along with the guys.
"Ohhhhh my Gawd," she thinks, "This party is full of very, very odd people. First there's someone yelling about Salem in 1692, then another one yells about how she hates the 12th century and nobody is going to send her back there again, then we have these young men talking as if they are from long ago fabled lands. What is going ON here?"

She slides her notepad into her purse and sidles over to another table where a group of women is sitting.
Marthy is telling Bess, "You know, I think Jack and I may become engaged soon!"
Bess' eyes get large with interest.
"I never thought a humble serving wench would be able to move up in the world and be the fiance of the head stable master. Yes! Henry2 had made him the head stable master the day William took us out of there. That's a lot of responsibility! I'm so proud."
Ann writes down, 'Henry2, stable master, serving wench.'
She wonders why such archaic terms for everything. Are these people putting her on?! Could this be some kind of joke?

She goes to the buffet table and looks at the various desserts.
"That piano number was wonderful!" Roger is telling Luke, "I thought you might have composed it in the Classical style, you know, similar to your symphonies and concertos."
"I thought a bit of a jazz beat would make it more comtemporary," Luke answers, "This is the 21st Century, after all, not the 18th or 19th any longer!"
Ann makes a note to remember: tall guy with shaggy hair and ruffled shirt......18th and 19th centuries.....symphonies and concertos......
If these people are playing a joke on her, they're all playing the same joke. How could that be? How? and Why?

Part 6: by Terri

Rick came over to Ann. "How's it going?" She looked perplexed. "Very weird." Then she slaps her forehead. "Oh, I get it now! I've heard where this happens! This is a party where people assume identities of other people in different timeframes. It's kind of like a Renaissance Festival where people dress up and start talking like, 'Milord' and 'Milady'. These people are doing that or they are just rehearsing for a play. That guy named Luke? Kind of looks and acts like Beethoven? I'll bet he has a one-man show. Kind of like that Mark Twain show Hal Holbrook puts on. Or that guy in Williamsburg VA that assumes Ben Franklin's identity. I'll bet if I look at the entertainment section, I'll see a show down at the Palladium Theater. Yeah, that's it. It has to be it...right?" She frowned.
Rick said, "I see the groom over there getting plastered. I'll see if I can get some guy talk going with him."

Rick walked over to where Daniel was sitting. Daniel sat in a comfortable chair with his feet propped up on the ottoman. Rick said, "Shouldn't you be outside with your lovely bride-to-be?"
Daniel tossed back another scotch. "I think you mean shouldn't that be my lovely bride-to-be outside? See, if you rearrange the words, you get an entirely new meaning!" He poured himself another drink and offered one to Rick. Rick declined.
Rick glanced outside and saw John with his arms around Rosamond, talking to Bill and Hillary. "OH! WOW! I can't tell you guys apart!" He laughed. "Bet you had some fun with THAT! You guys ever switch dates? Or date the same girl and she never knew?"
Daniel snorted. "Yeah, but the one who also didn't know was John!"
Rick sat down and extended his hand. "I'm Rick. Photographer for the paper."
Daniel shook his hand. "I'm Daniel. Rosamond's reject. I think one time she called me a schmuck."
Rick asked, "Rosamond's reject? Did you two used to date?"
Daniel said, "In a matter of speaking. But she didn't know it."
Rick laughed, "Come on, she'd have to know when she had a date!"
Daniel laughed as if to some private joke. "Not necessarily!"
Rick said, "I'm fascinated! Bet this is a pretty good story!"
Daniel said, "Oh, Buddy, you have no idea! See, Rose had a thing for my brother for quite a long time. But my brother was a strict Puritan..."
"Puritan? In this day and age?"
"Hey, do you want to hear the story or not?"
"OH! Sorry! Sure!"
"OK, then. See, Rose was the King's mistress in England.."
"But I thought her name was Camilla--and he's not King--at least not yet!"
Daniel looked at him unbelievingly. "Now what are YOU talking about?"
"Uh, nevermind---go on!"

"Anyways, they were all living in this house with William. He brought them all together. But John came and got me out of Southold and planned to send me to Virginia because Elias was going to kill me...something about his daughter, don't ask me what!..Anyways, he didn't want anyone to know he had a twin brother. See, I'm kind of like the black sheep of the family. But while he was out on errands, I saw something of his I just had to have."
"His car?"
"His girlfriend. Actually she wasn't his girlfriend at the time. But he liked her...alot! Lusted after her as far as his Puritan heart would let him, and that wasn't very far! Now I come to find out Rosamond had the hots for him but it was..how shall I say?.. a love unrealized..so I made all her little dreams and fantasies come true!"

Rick was fascinated. "How did you do that?"
Daniel leaned back, put his hands behind his head and smiled. "I drugged my brother and assumed his identity!"
Rick was shocked. "WOW! I doff my hat to you. What a gutsy thing to do! Did she ever find out?"
Daniel laughed. "Oh, yeah---after a weekend! John came to, stumbled downstairs and there we were, the two mirror images of us! Now I'll let you in on a little secret..."
Daniel motioned him forward. Rick leaned in. "She's got that baby, right?"
"Yes---Billy Bob Montgomery's daughter."
Daniel shook his head. "Not Montgomery's. Mine. And she knows it and won't admit to it."
"WHAT?"
Daniel poured himself yet another drink and offered it to McDowell again. This time McDowell took him up on it.
"Yes, Rosamond is one wild woman...."
Daniel got a faraway look in his eyes. "But she won't have me. Said it would be a cold day in hell before she ever came to me again. And so far Hell hasn't frozen over."


Part 7: by Coralynn

William smiles and thinks with satisfaction, "Now, this party has turned out to be a huge success. No one has done or said anything embarrassing that could show up in tomorrow's newspapers. Ann Harmon and Rick, her cameraman, have taken photos that show us at our best. After all, the party is several hours old and everyone is talking and smiling and behaving with decorum. Ahhhhh yes, this party could break the jinx."

"A toast!" he announces in a loud voice. Everyone stops what they're doing and grabs a glass.
Grace doesn't remember where she put her Orange Crush, so she reaches behind her on the table and grabs a glass of something-or-other. It looks like orange juice. Yes, surely.
"To the happy couple! To years and years of love and devotion! To the good news that they're going to live just down the street!!" William's voice booms out.
Everyone lifts a glass or goblet. Everyone takes a sip or swallow.

Ann Harmon notices that Rick isn't nearby, but his camera is. OH, here he comes back from the house. Must have gone in to use the facilities. Well, the moment will be over if I wait for him, so she hoists up the camera and scans the yard for a good shot. William with his glass aloft is great......click.
Rick is taking his good old time getting here. Better take a few more photos. She sees him through the lens of the camera and decides to immortalize him in a picture, too. Click.
She adjusts the settings so that she can zoom in closer. She trains the camera on Rick just as a conservatively dressed woman suddenly plasters herself all over him, with her leg hooked behind him. Click.
William groans and sets down his glass. We simply must stop inviting Grace to our events! Thank goodness it was the cameraman sans his camera. Whew! Close one!!


STILL LOOKING FOR RANDY.........by Coralynn

Ernie Shaw orders yet another beer. The night has been unfruitful in his search for Randy Griswold, which, he notes, is at least consistent with all the other nights he's been out prowling bars looking for the guy. The Dew Drop Inn has the largest group of customers who, Ernie has noticed, seem loyal to the place and keep coming back every few nights. He's beginning to recognize faces, if not names. Hell, the only name he's interested in hearing is Randy Griswold.
He likes that Bobby Joe guy who works here and asks him for yet another beer.
"Are you going to be able to drive home?" Bobby Joe asks as he places another full glass in front of Ernie.
Ernie chugs it down and asks for another, which causes BJ to ask him again if he's sober enough to drive home.
"Probably not!" comes the answer, "If I don't find Randy Griswold tonight I may be deadmeat anyway. Ever hear of him?"
BJ tries to remember. "What does he look like?"
"Tall dude.....medium build......sandy colored hair......"
"There are quite a few guys who come in here who fit that description," BJ says scratching his neck.
"Like Billy Bob Montgomery?" Ernie slurs.
"Yes, but you may not have heard what happened to Montgomery...."
Ernie tries to focus his blood-shot eyes on BJ. "I heard! Oh God how I've heard.....tell ya what, if you see this guy, someone who looks like him, can you dial up my cellphone and let me know......here it is......" he scrawls it on a napkin and shoves it at Bobby Joe, then his eyews glaze over.

Bobby Joe waits for him to continue, as the other man has put his head down on his arms on the bar. Slowly Ernie lifts his head up and says desolately, "he got whacked instead of Randy. Gotta find Randy....."
He puts his head back down and passes out.


THE PARTY'S OVER.....by Terri

Rick peeled Grace off his leg and left her on a heap on the lawn. He ran towards Ann. "HA! CAUGHT YA!" she gloats! Rick looked back and Grace was picking herself off the lawn with the help of Marthy and Bess. They sat her down in a lawn chair by the umbrella table and she proceeded to pass out, her head hitting the table with a thump. He shook his head and said to Ann, "Just because people have money doesn't mean they have any more morals or less problems than anyone." He jerked his thumb back towards the house. "Wait till I tell you in the car what the twin brother told me!"
Ann whispered, "And wait until I tell YOU what that big hunky guy told ME! This should get me that opening spot for features editor! Nichols will owe me bigtime!"
Rick said, "Bet you didn't know she was Charles' mistress between Camilla and Diana, did you?"
Ann said, "WHAT? WOW! And I'll bet you never read the book 'Lolita', did you? Looks like we'll have alot to discuss in the car!"
Rick looked over and said, "It seems the party is winding down. It's after midnight. Think we should put this story to bed?"
They both looked at each other and burst out laughing. The two of them walked over to where William and Celeste were standing.
Ann smiled, "I think we have enough coverage, Mr. Conqueror. You have been most gracious. It's been a very enjoyable evening."
William grinned and said, "I'm glad there were no altercations like last time. You have to excuse Grace. She cannot hold her alcohol. Somehow she must have picked up the wrong glass. I trust you got what you came here for?"
Ann and Rick exchanged glances. "Oh, we have plenty of good footage."
They both extended their hands to him. William shook their hands and said, "It's a pleasure to have everything go smoothly. Rosamond and John have been through alot, and it hasn't been easy for Rosamond with the death of her husband."

Goodnights were said all around. Rosamond shook their hands and said "Thank you for coming. It's been a pleasure."
And with that, the newspaper crew left to write their story and develop their pictures. Visions of advancement and possible Pulitzers danced in their heads.

People were starting to leave. It was well after midnight and everyone deemed the party a success. William heaved a sigh of relief and gave Celeste a hug. "Well, we did it, Celeste! Pulled it off! I honestly think the jinx is broken. Could Rosamond finally be a talisman? Lord knows she's been the ruin of alot of previous parties!"
Celeste smiled. "Look how happy they look! And I am so happy they bought the Cooper's house down the street. I was wondering what I was going to do without Will around."
Bethia and Roger came up to Rosamond and John. Bethia gave John a hug and whispered, "Three more weeks. Now nothing can go wrong, John!"
John put his finger to his lips and said, "From your mouth to God's ear, Bethie!"
Rose said to Beth, "You are positively glowing, girlfriend! Marriage must agree with you!" Roger said, "She's glowing because..." and Beth interrupted with "...because my two favorite people are FINALLY getting married! I never dreamed how life would turn out for all of us the day you and El and William took a wrong turn into our century!"

Hillary and Bill said their goodbyes and hugged Rose and John. Bill winked and said, "Hey, you gonna play Monopoly on your honeymoon?" John laughed and Hillary turned around and said, "What, Bill?" Bill grabbed her by the elbow and steered her out of the patio. "Bill, what did you say I wouldn't believe?"
Bill said, "It's like this, Hillary, but you can't breathe a word of it and you can't call me a liar...."

Luke and Henry came over to say goodbye. "Luke, that was just wonderful! I was speechless!" Luke blushed and said, "You and John were a good inspiration. The tune just sort of wrote itself. And for that I thank YOU!"
John said, "Henry, you look a bit thinner. How is that Jenny Craig diet working?"
Henry sucked his stomach in and said, "It's OK. I lost 40 lbs. And I tried that SlimFast. It's not bad if you substitute cream for the skim milk!"
Rose and John laughed. Henry took Rose aside and said, "If you still want to bear me a son..." he winked at her. Rose laughed gently. "I think John would not be in favor of the idea, Henry....but thanks for thinking of me!" Henry shrugged. "It never hurts to ask!" They headed back to Henry's Castle. John said to Rosamond, "There goes the Odd Couple!"

Vinnie was helping Sheila on with her shawl. "Hey, you guys, congratulations! I always told Sheila---didn't I always say--'Sheila, dem two belong togedder!' and now here it is! Gotta tell ya, when you married dat other guy--the dead one--I told Sheila---didn't I say, Sheila?---'Just you wait, little Miss Rosie and John will be togedder.' And here ya are!" Rose gave Vinnie a kiss goodnight and Sheila a hug and sent them on their way.

Marty and Barbara Henshaw and Gwen and her husband were leaving together. Gwen hugged Rosamond and said, "It's been a long haul, honey, and you just about made it! Remember--I'm doing your make-up and your hair for the wedding! I'm the best--who else had you dressed in moleskin and won the best costume award, huh?"
Marty hugged Rosamond and punched John playfully in the arm. "Hey, you finally got the girl! And it only cost you 100,000.00 too!" Barbara said, "What was that, Marty?"
Marty shushed her. "I fully expect this to put you two in the running for the next year's hottest couple award!"

Eleanor surveyed the damage by the pool. "Forget it! We'll deal with this tomorrow!"
She sat down in a lounge chair and Jerry rubbed her shoulders. "Ohhh, that feels so good! Jerry--John's room is available if you want to stay overnight. I'd hate to have you drive back so late." Jerry smiled, "Thanks, El! I was hoping for the invite."
William turned around and raised his eyebrows to Eleanor. She gave him a smug look. William sighed, shook his head and walked in the house. Rosamond and John, Marilyn, Eleanor and Jerry sat by the edge of the pool. Rose pulled out the papers. "Marilyn, doll that she is, had Patrick expedite the court case. Here are the annulment papers. I am a free woman!"
Eleanor heaved a sigh of relief. "Now nothing can go wrong!"
Rose was puzzled, "Did you ever doubt it, El?"
Eleanor and Marilyn exchanged glances. "No, but it never hurts to have your loose ends tied up."
After a half hour of small talk and reviewing the party, John held his hand out to Rosamond. "Come on, honey, we both have a big day tomorrow. And Monday we sign the papers on the house."
Rosamond yawned. "I'll just bet that puppy is sleeping in Will's bed. I have a feeling that is one present that was really meant for Will. Now he has two dogs--Jake and this one! Guess I'll let him name her! Goodnight, all. And thank you. I couldn't ask for better friends!"

As Rosamond and John walked through the living room, Rosamond saw Daniel sleeping on the chair, feet up on the ottoman. "You go on up, John. I'll see to Daniel."
John said, "Better send him on his way. I'm taking a shower, honey. See you upstairs."

Rosamond looked at Daniel and thought, There's no way I am kicking him out. I can smell the whiskey fumes on him. She went to the cedar chest and pulled out a pillow and a plaid wool blanket. She raised his head and put the pillow behind him. She took off his boots and put the blanket over him. Oh, Daniel--you are such a mess! She patted him on the shoulder and he mumbled in his sleep. "Hell freeze over yet, Rosamond?" She turned off the light and headed upstairs.

Jerry stood up and stretched. "I'm heading up, Peach. Third door on the left, right?"
"Right! Third door on the left!" "Huh?" "Go up the stairs. Turn left. Count three. You're there."
Marilyn and Eleanor looked at each other warily. Marilyn said, "You know what I know?"
El said, "What do you think I know that you know?"
"You know." Marilyn said.
"I know you know. I know too."
"You do?"
"Not only know--I SAW!"
"YOU SAW?"
Eleanor looked around. Then she motioned Marilyn closer. "I used my time travel coin and went to Paris. I not only saw him, I spoke to him!"
"NO!"
"YES! That is why I am so relieved that Rosamond has her annulment papers."
"Patrick said as far as the courts are concerned, the marriage is null and void. She is totally unencumbered."
Eleanor said, "Good. I was hoping to tie up that loose end. Let's just hope we won't need it!"
Marilyn said, "Never hurts to have your ducks in a row."
"QUACK, QUACK!" Eleanor said. They both dissolved into laughter. "It's late, Marilyn--let's call it a night!"
They picked up their Margarita glasses, clinked them together and said, "To Rose and John--signed, sealed and delivered!"


SAY WHAT?!..................by Coralynn

William stretches and yawns. Ahhhh, morning. Peaceful morning with no concerns, no hassles, just the pleasant prospect of reading the papers and drinking coffee.
He descends the stairs and walks out the front door to retrieve his five morning papers. The air is bracing and colored leaves are beginning to fall from the maple trees, the gentle breeze blowing them into little piles.
As William retrieves his newspapers from the driveway he thinks how perfect the morning.......how lovely the day to come.
He comes back inside the house and, as is his habit, places the five newspapers on the kitchen table and pours a cup of coffee. No one else will be up for at least 45 minutes. This is his time of day.
He finishes reading the first paper in a matter of minutes and wonders why he even subscribes to that one, as it has so little news. Great pictures, though......and a killer travel section. Here's a photo of people relaxing on a Caribbean beach. Lovely; must go there sometime.

The second paper has a lot of world news. Later, he thinks, why get all tense over the world this early in the morning?
The third paper is one of the best, so he reads that one, and laying it aside, reaches for the fourth.
This is the paper that nice reporter, Ann Harmon, works for. Hmmmm, let's see what's in the Local Scene section. He finds it and spreads it out on the table.
He's jolted to attention the minute he reads the headline:
SCANDALS at WEDDING SHOWER!!
Must be someone else's wedding shower; certainly not the one we had!
The sub-title, however, makes it clear that this is wishful thinking, as it goes on to say:
Conquering Chef party awash in accusations and altercations.
The wedding shower for As The Planet Turns soap stars, Rosamond Clifford and John Gwinett, which began as a festive celebration, soon turned into a surreal event. The first indication that all was not peaceful and serene came when a woman they called WandaSue appeared in their back yard accusing them of taking her to 1692 Salem, Mass. to be hung as a witch. Then, even more strangely, if that's possible, she told Rosamond, the widow of William Robert Montgomery, who was found shot to death in his car but a few short months ago, that the man was still alive and that he was legally married to WandaSue herself. She stated that she was the rightful wife and should have inherited the large horse-ranch and even larger bank account of the late millionaire horse breeder. She was arrested for trespassing and taken away by the local Police. See picture, right.
Another woman, who may have arrived with WandaSue, who they called Isabella, yelled out that she was not interested in going back to the 12th century, and that the late Montgomery was her soulmate. She was packed off in a cab and did not return. See picture, left.

The party then commenced as though none of this had happened, as if this was normal, which made this reporter wonder what else went on around there that normal folk would consider bizarre, but not the group at the house on Winding Willow.

William and his Lady

It appears that William has found love at last, in the personage of Celeste who lives with him in his large commune. See picture, below.

Rosamond's Scandalous Past

Revelations were made by a shower attendee named Harry Percy, that Rosamond was a young Lolita. He described assignations with her in a hayloft in England when she was 14, and he was 23.
Another guest at the shower, Daniel Gwinett, twin brother of John, stated that Rosamond had been the mistress of Prince Charles. It is unknown whether she came before or after Camilla.
Repeated phone calls to Prince Charles for confirmation, have remained unanswered.

Event either a Theme-Party or guests mentally unhinged!

Many party goers referred to having lived in other centuries, and talked about it freely. A young woman named Marthy described being a 'serving wench' to Henry the Second. A young man named Mike went into detail about living on the Lost Continent of Atlantis. Luke, a man who is a dead ringer for Beethoven, agreed with another man that his new piano composition is a departure from his symphonies and concertos, and added that it wasn't the 18th and 19th centuries anymore. See picture, below left.

Baby's paternity in question!

The future bridegroom's twin brother made the most shocking allegation of all when he confided to our cameraman that HE is the father of the baby born to Rosamond and the late William Robert Montgomery. Seems the beauteous star of As the Planet Turns spent a weekend with John's twin, Daniel, who said he carried off this ruse by drugging his brother and taking his place in Rosamond's bed.
Please turn to pg. 3 for more photos.

William takes a deep breath and, going to the base of the staircase, yells, ELEANOR!

Eleanor had been sleeping, but, hearing her name bellowed from below, she awakens and, checking to see if Jerry has slept through the noise, seeing that he has, puts on her robe and goes to the top of the stairs.
"What do you want, William? Not everyone gets up with the chickens like you do! What's your problem anyway?" she asks as she goes down the stairs. The closer she comes to William, the clearer it becomes that he is livid with rage. Oh no, what is it and why am I the one who has to deal with it? Someone ran over his precious rosebushes again, big whoop!
"Why did you come out of John's old room?" William asks in clipped tones, "Rose told Jerrry he could......oh no you don't Eleanor of Aqutaine.....now that we have Rose almost married off to John, we won't put up with you taking her place as resident slut!"
Eleanor comes close to slapping William's face, but thinks better of it.
"You don't make the rules anymore, remember William? This is September and I'm the head of the household this month. But, even if you still were, you don't get to supervise grown men and women. You don't have the right to micromanage our lives, so get over it! Now what on earth were you yelling about down here?"
"LOOK!" he takes her arm and walks her over to the table upon which the scandalous report of the wedding shower is displayed.
As she reads it, he keeps talking, "YOU let that reporter in here and said you would take all responsibility for any consequences. Well, Miss SmartyPants, these are the consequences!"
"I'm disappointed that Ann Harmon would write stuff like this," Eleanor comments as she turns to the extra pictures on pg. 3. "Looks like the cameraman got pictures of everything, too. I don't see a picture of Grace's ususal display of misbehavior, though."
"Of course you don't!" William roars, "They had so many other scandalous things it made Grace look like the Bobsey Twins at the Seashore!"
Eleanor pushes the newspaper away from her and stands. "Eat some of your Jenny Craig breakfast, William, it'll make you calmer. I may be disappointed, but I'm not going to go ballistic the way you do. Not good for the digestion or the blood pressure. If there's nothing more you wish to tell me, I'm going back to bed."
She ascends the stairs, quietly turns the knob on the door of John's old room, enters and William sees the door close slowly so as not to wake Jerry from his slumber.
"This place is spinning out of control," he thinks, "I'd take most of these people to some time frame like the Stone Age and dump them there permanently, but.......alas, they are my friends.
He paces, which takes him into the living room, and, who should be sleeping in a recliner chair, his feet on an ottoman, covered with a quilt but Daniel, the one with the big mouth, the one who talked to the newspaper cameraman, for the love of God.
William walks over to where Daniel is snoring away, kicks his legs off the ottoman, and when Daniel wakes up, reaches down and yanks him up by the front of his shirt.
"I oughta kill you, you useless baggage! Had to blab to the camerman, didn't you? Had to tell him you thought you were the father of Rose's baby, didn't you?"
Daniel rubs the side of his face, "Did I say that?"
William rushes back into the kitchen and brings back the article from the newspaper, thrusting it in Daniel's face.
The drapes are still drawn, and the room rather dim, so William yanks back the drapes, turns on a large lamp and shoves Daniel up close to it. "Look what you've done! GET OUT and never come back! I never want to see your face again! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Daniel drops the newspaper and slowly makes his way to the front door. Slow is not good enough for William, who takes him by the back of the collar and shoves him, then kicks his derriere as hard as he can, which, considering how out of shape William is, results in falling backwards onto the floor as Daniel goes out the door and it clicks shut.
Celeste hears all the rucus and comes out of her room. Seeing William lying on the floor, she looks down at him quizically and comments, "You'll just have to learn to hold your liquor better, William! What an example you're setting for the young people!" chuckles, and goes into the kitchen for her coffee.


THE FRENCH CONNECTION......by Terri

Travis unlocked the cell that Wanda Sue had spent the night in. "I don't know what to tell you, but since no one has come down here to file a complaint, I'm letting you go."
Wanda Sue exclaimed, "It's about time, Junior! I should sue you for unlawful arrest."
Travis said, "I WOULD like to talk to you about this theory that Mr. Montgomery MIGHT still be alive and living in Paris."
"Theory. THEORY?! Try fact! I saw him with my own eyes!"
"How did you work that out?"
"I called his cousin Jameson and he answered the phone thinking it was Billy Bob. He alluded to him being in Paris, was complaining about the time zone factor. It stands to reason. His old coot of a great grandfather, Pierre something or other, spoke French and that old geezer doted on the boy. Naturally he'd try to teach him some French and Billy Bob would go where his roots are. So I ended up in Paris and found him at a little cafe. Looks like he always eats breakfast there. Chez Pierre or something like it."

Wanda Sue grabbed Travis by the tie again and pulled his face close to hers. She hissed,"So if you want to get the dude on insurance fraud, here's your chance. Because the insurance companies will pay a hefty reward to those who whistle-blow. Just think what a hero you would look in Rosebud's eyes."
The wheels in Travis' pea-brain started to spin. Wanda Sue continued. "She would probably dump old Johnny-boy for you. A man who knows how to take charge. Dashes into the fray, fists flying. A modern-day Superhero. And the beauty of it is this--get her where you want her and YOU can dump HER!"
She let the tie go and Travis went flying back into his chair which flipped over on him. As he stood up, tie askew, he said, "You have a point there, Miss Skaggs."
"It's Montgomery. Wanda Sue Montgomery. Legally, not like a cheap common-law shackup that he had with that Rosebud tramp."
Wanda Sue picked up her purse. "Of course, if you DO get a reward, I fully expect you to split it with me 50/50. I'll be in touch."
Travis sat there, his head spinning from the ideas, not to mention the fall he took. He knocked on the door of Chief Donatello.
"Come in!" the voice said gruffly. Travis straightened up his shoulders. He saluted Donatello. Donatello heaved a sigh."How many times do I have to tell you, McGee, that this is NOT the armed services. It's a rinky-dink police station where up to a few months ago our biggest problem was Mrs. Potemkin's dog making doo-doo on Mrs. Allister's doormat. What is it NOW?"
Travis stood straight. "Sir, I would like to request a recommendation that I be assigned to go to Paris and investigate the alleged whereabouts of a one William Robert Montgomery, allegedly deceased and formerly of the county of Westchester."

Donatello let out a whistle between clenched teeth. He shook his head. "Bring that sentence in by Friday and we'll see if we can shorten it, Sonny!"
Travis stood ramrod straight and said, "Sir, I have it on reliable information that he is living in Paris, having fraudulently arranged his own death. I would like to requisition one airline ticket to Paris with a return for two."
Donatello stood up, jammed his cigar into his mouth and stuck his face inches away from Travis. "Think you're a bounty hunter, huh? And just where do you obtain your reliable information?"
"From.."
"From that ditz you ran in for trespassing? Let's see--" Donatello counted off on his fingers one by one."---you tried to hang a molestation charge on one of our upstanding citizens, you joined a health club to stake out and spy on this citizen and his friend--"
Travis interjected with "His paramour! She was an adultress!"
"You kick a woman in the face in gym class and then rip your shorts, exposing your heinie to the entire class, you climb trees trying to take 8x10 glossies of whatever people decide to do in the privacy of their own homes, trip over people camping outside, you try to bust a poor little widow for having a yard sale to dispose of her husband's personal property, you tear an innocent man's car apart and arrest him for illegal vitamins--a child's vitamins no less--and powdered sugar off a donut. You arrest a bigtime actress for prostitution when all she was doing was going over her scripts---have I left anything out?"
Travis said stiffly, "No, sir. That about covers it."
Donatello put his face next to Travis' and yelled at the top of his lungs, "REQUEST DENIED!"
Travis said, "Is that all, Sir?"
Donatello said astonished, "Isn't that enough? You think I'm going to send you on a fantasy flight to Paris so you can go chasing phantoms? Nosiree, Bub! You're grounded even if I have to chain you to your desk!"
Travis turned and walked swiftly to go to his desk in the squad room. At that very moment, Officer Malone opened the door quickly and came in with some reports for Donatello. Travis ran his nose right into the edge of the door. "OOOMMMPH! Dammit, Malone! Why don't you watch where you are going?" He tweaked his nose form side to side to see if it was dislocated. Malone said, "Sorry, sir."
Travis left with as much dignity as he could muster.
Malone said questioningly at Donatello. "Problem, sir?"
Donatello sighed. "No, I wouldn't let him go to EuroDisney in Paris. Looks like he'll have to find his Fantasyworld somewhere else!"


LET MAGRUDER HANDLE IT!!......by Terri

Bobby Joe was cleaning out the stalls and mulling over what Ernie Shaw told him the night before. 'Montgomery got whacked instead of Randy Griswold.' Instead of? INSTEAD OF?? Could this Randy Griswold have been the intended victim all along?
Bobby Joe let Merovin out of his stall. The stallion ran out of the barn and headed to the pasture, tossing his head in the wind and whinying. Do horses have a sixth sense of what is going on? If Griswold was the hit all along, that means that Billy Bob left when he didn't have to. He'd still be here, living at the ranch and very possibly still married to Rosamond. Or at least fighting his divorce. Annulment. Whatever it was. But to which wife? Annul Rose? Wanda Sue? Divorce--but who? Rose? Wanda Sue? Bobby Joe shook his head to clear it.
And he'd still have his damn jacket.
He went to the ranch house and let himself in. Juanita was there re-arranging the cupboards. "Hey, Mr. BJ, how's it going?" "Hi, Juanita--when's the grand opening of the Montgomery Bed and Breakfast?"
Juanita laughed. "Oh, but it's not going to be called that! Miss Rose wants to call it 'Merovin' in honor of Mr. Montgomery's horse. She was joking, said she knew a horse named that in another lifetime! She has such an imaginative sense of humour! Anyways, she basically formed a corporation to run it. A lawyer named O'Malley drew up the papers."
Juanita added proudly, "She made me Vice President in charge of operations. But basically, she's letting me run it. I've had the housekeeping experience and she has sent me to Innkeeper school! We expect to be opening the end of October in time for the holiday season. I can't wait! Oh--may I get you some breakfast?"
Bobby Joe walked over to the coffeemaker. "No, just some of this coffee--very black and very strong!" He took out a flask and added a shot of bourbon to it.
Juanita laughed. "You Texas boys! Always having to make it a little bigger and better, don't you?"
Bobby Joe leaned back, closed his eyes, and said, "Helps me think."
Was that just the ravings of a guy who had too much to drink? But why was he looking for Randy Griswold? Rosamond had mentioned to me that she thought someone was staying in the gatehouse. She found food wrappers and liquor bottles and some cigarette butts. Recent stuff, too. Could it be...no, impossible! But what if this Randy Griswold decided to steal the Mercedes and the hitman whacked him? With a shot to the face, he was pretty unrecognizable. The police just naturally assumed it was Billy Bob. And BB was pulling some unscrupulous stuff, thanks to Jameson's hare-brained idea of souping up the racehorses with amphetamines. Illegal, sure. And the Parker syndicate had the stableowners and jockies in their back pockets. BB never felt that comfortable about it. Maybe a guilty conscience.

That's why he bolted. But Magruder said Parker never heard of him and the other guys said, 'what do we care?' Magruder did say that head hitman, Vinnie Cappucci, never had a a hit on him and he would know. As far as a jealous husband, hell, Billy Bob would have been dead a long time ago. And he's been true-blue since he married Tequila Sunrise.
He headed back to the stables. Biting his thumb, he picked up the phone and called Jameson. *Ring* three times. Jameson answered the phone.
"Jameson, I heard something interesting last night, I want to run it by you..."
He proceeded to tell Jameson all that transpired with Ernie Shaw. "...so if that is the case, Billy Bob left for nothing. He's going to be really ticked off."
"Ticked off? THAT'S an understatement!"
"What should I do?"
"Call Magruder. Give him the lead. Let him chase it down, that's what he's getting paid for."
"Think Billy Bob will get back before Tequila Sunrise gets hitched?"
Jameson said, "With any luck he will. I know he'll fight anyway he can to hold on to her."
"Why is he fighting so hard?"
"Dunno. He never told me but guaranteed it's big. Call Magruder and give him the info."
Bobby Joe sighed, "OK--but one thing--I think we should keep this from Billy Bob. I don't want to get his hopes up. This is Magruder's job. Let him find out if Griswold was the intended victim all along. When he does, HE can be the one who tells him he can come home. And then he can look for his damn jacket himself!"
CLICK!


YA SEE, IT WAS LIKE THIS..........by Coralynn

Marilyn comes out of her room and sees William lying on the floor.
She walks over to where he's lying, looking up at her desolately.
"William! I'm surprised! I would expect Rafe or Hotspur to have hangovers, but you?" she begins to walk away when he reaches out and grabs the hem of her robe.
"Help me up, will you? I am not drunk. I fell backward when I kicked Daniel in the rear end! I told him to never show his face around here again!"
"Other than being a first class jerk, which he's been right along, why?"
William struggles to his feet with her help, "Because he blabbed to the cameraman at the shower, that's why! Go look at the article in the paper......it's lying over there near that lamp."

Marilyn picks it up and carries it into the kitchen, then sits and reads the article. "Daniel did quite a bit of damage here, even I can see that," she tells William, "You'd think he'd know better than to confide in someone who works for the newspaper, of all people!"
"Yes, wouldn't you?"
"Has Eleanor seen this?"
"She saw it, but didn't care, because she went back upstairs to the room Jerry's sleeping in. It appears her morals are no better than Rosamond's."
Marilyn suppresses a laugh, "Poor olde William, poor baby, you can't keep your 'children' in line, can you? Perhaps you'd be better off not trying."
"I'm getting that impression," he grumbles as he goes back to his room to dress for the day.

Marilyn finishes reading the paper and is about to do the same when Eleanor comes downstairs again. Seeing Marilyn, she joins her at the table.
"Looks like Daniel really blew it this time," Marilyn comments.
"Ya know, Marilyn, I have an idea that might fix the part about "was this a theme party or are the people mentally unhinged" part of the article, but Daniel's claim to be Julie's father can't be covered by it. I'm going to phone Ann Harmon and at least do some damage control."
"I thought she was so nice, too. Why did she write all that scandalous stuff about us?"
Eleanor heaves a sigh, "Because it was true, because she would have been remiss had she not. The scandalous stuff, as you call it, fell into her lap. What else could she do?"
Eleanor picks up the phone and dials the newspaper, asking for Ann Harmon's desk.
"Ann Harmon here!"
"Hello, Ann, this is Eleanor over at the house on Winding Willow, you know, where we had the wedding shower you attended....."
Silence for a full 10 seconds, then Ann's voice says haltingly, "Oh. Eleanor. I'm sorry the newspaper article turned out the way it did........but my boss told me to get something juicy or my job was on the line....."
"Well. Yes. Surely. I wanted to thank you, though."
Another 10 second pause.
Finally...."WHY?"
"Well, you see, it's this way: we're having a Halloween party in which all the party goers have to come as someone from a different Century. We had just told everyone about it before the shower began, and it appears they began rehearsing their roles right away."
"Oh.....I wondered if that could be the case. I'm so relieved, Eleanor."
"Ann. Could you do me a little favor?"
"I hope I can."
"Could you do a follow-up story, explaining that?"
"I think so."
"I'd be ever so appreciative if you did."
"That party sounds like fun! I'd love to see that one....."
"Ann. Don't push your luck. If William ever sees you on the premisis again he'll have a coronary. I know you understand."
"Yes. Well, it was fun while it lasted."
"But the fallour has just begun in this household. John and Rose are just coming downstairs. I shudder to think of their reaction to Daniel's claims. Daniel is something of a loose cannon, you know. Has an imagination that just goes on and on and on. Now that his lies have been printed it's going to be war ....."
"I am so sorry," Ann says sincerely, "I didn't mean to...."
"Gotta go now, Ann. John is about to pick up the newspaper.."
Ann hears a man's voice yelling "WHAT?! NO!!!" just before she clicks off.



on to next part of STORY

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