...AND THE BEAT GOES ON...

SHE'S BaccckKKK!....by Coralynn

Billy Bob can tell he's not in bed alone the minute he floats to consciousness. His head is pounding, but his mind is still sharp enough to realize that another person is sleeping to his left. He knows full well who it must be, partly from the way the mattress slants down toward her side, and partly because no one but that skank would simply come in and climb into his bed without a bye your leave.
He lies there planning a strategy. If I ignore her, maybe she'll go away, or at least if she's come here wanting me to react in horror I can disappoint her. What is she doing here anyway??
Well, he thinks as he sits up, facing away from the opposite side of the bed, sliding on his slippers, I'll just go about my day as though I were alone. Yes, that's the plan!
He grabs up his robe, puts it on and ties it securely as he pads out of the room and goes downstairs. He has no idea if WandaSue is awake or not. Not my concern, he reasons.
The coffeepot has brewed the coffee, and as he pours a cup he turns on the small television on the kitchen counter, as is his pattern.
He sees a weather report that says spring is almost here...good....and the stock market is up by 184 points, again good....and the entire Camelot Condos complex burned to the ground last night.....what?!

WandaSue is awake and has been since BB moved to get out of bed. She's almost relishing the idea of the confrontation that is sure to break out when she goes downstairs. BB will be livid! she chuckles as she gets up and heads for the stairs.

He doesn't look up as she enters the kitchen, so she bangs some pots and pans around to make sure he knows she's there. Still he doesn't respond. Could he have lost his hearing? No, that's unlikely, see how he's sitting there glued to that little tv set? Ahhhh, so they're telling about how my condo burned down? Whoooops, the whole complex burned down? Oh-oh! Well, they can't prove it started in my place...I wasn't even home when it started heh heh....I'll get BB to swear that I was here at his place all day, all evening, all night.....

But, she reasons, if I spent the night with my lawfully wedded husband and wasn't in my condo, I would be shocked and devastated when I saw this on the television this morning. So....I'd better get over there and act shocked and devastated....but not before I put away some of the fine grub BB usually keeps in his larder.

Billy Bob carries his coffee into the living room so he can talk privately on his cell phone to Jameson. Entering the room he sees a boulder lying on the floor not too far from the French doors...which are sporting a large hole, glass having shattered in all directions. Ah, so that's how she got in!!
I'd better casually put a housekey on the counter, not that I see her or acknowledge her, but hell's teeth, I can't have her smashing out the french doors every time she decides to crash here, crash being the operative word, sheeesh!

When he re-enters the kitchen she is frying up bacon and has eggs burning in a small frying pan. BB tries to ignore that, too. Going to the cupboard, he takes out a cereal bowl, reaches down into another cupboard for the Cheerios and fixes himself breakfast. He almsot collides with her as he gets the milk out of the refrigerator, but doesn't react. He hopes she'll think someone slipped her some of that disappearing tea again.....

The kitchen is filling with smoke, which causes BB a fit of coughing, but he still doesn't acknowledge the source. WandaSue sits right across the table from him and schlurps up the eggs and bacon and toast and coffee, which sight about turns his stomach, but he sits there calmly and soldiers on.

"Well, husband of mine!" WandaSue tosses the dirty dishes into the sink, and speaks to him for the first time, "I have to get over to the condo and act devastated. You will cover for me, won't you? I mean I was here all day and all night, yes?"
No answer, which doesn't surprise WandaSue. BB can be sooo taciturn!
"See ya soon, sweetie!" she plants a kiss on the top of his head, slides the housekey into her purse and whistles as she leaves.
He waits till she's outdoors and out of sight before he runs his hand over his head and shakes it off like he's disposing of some toxic waste.


SHOCKED & DEVASTATED......by Coralynn

WandaSue whips into the parking lot of Camelot Condos and sure enough, the place has burned to the ground. She wonders how one little-bitty oven fire has caused all this destruction, though the wind was pretty strong the night before.....
Pools of water left over from the fire-fighting are everywhere and the part of the structure still standing is dripping water from the futile attempt to put out the conflagration.

Several occupants, or more accurately former occupants are standing about looking stricken. When they see WandaSue, the mayor of the town, they approach her and one of the women asks, "Now what do we do? We were all crammed into that annex over there last night....the only part that's still standing....we don't know where to turn, where to go..."
"MY place burned down, too," WandaSue points out to her, "so I'm in the same boat!"
A man comments, "Where were you last night when all this was happening to us?"
"At my husband's house. I only just found out about this from watching the news on TV."
A reporter and cameraman are seen getting out of a van with Channel 4 emblazoned on the side and are soon asking questions of the small group.
"Are you the mayor?" the reporter asks.
"Yes."
"Where are these people going to go now?!"
"Damned if I know!" it's out before WandaSue has a chance to censor her big mouth.
"Did any of your have insurance on your condos?"
About half the people raise their hands, WandaSue among them.
"What are the folks without insurance going to do?" the reporter thrusts the mike in front of WandaSue.
"Hey! I built a homeless shelter for situations like this...." WandaSue walks away, gets in her car and drives off as the people clustered about look at her in shock and dismay.


BESS and THE BACHELORS pt #1.........by Coralynn

Eleanor hears a loud whooping sound coming from the computer room. She strolls in there and sees Bess boucing in the chair in front of the computer.
"Happy that you finally figured out how to turn it on?" she asks.
"Oh, I learned how to do that yesterday! Look at the messages I have in response to my profile on match.com! There are 8 guys dying to go out with me!"
Bess opens one and Eleanor sees the guy with the muscles that Bess had noticed on there before. "Hmmm, I see your Mr. Universe-type guy is one of them!"
"Oh yes, he is, and so is this one," she opens another email that shows a man standing before a Mercedes, "This one is rich!"
Eleanor chuckles as anyone can stand in front of an expensive car and get their picture taken, but let Bess find this out for herself.
"I'm going out with this one tonight!" Bess opens an email that shows a man with a huge marlin dragging it onto a yacht. "This guy says he's a multi-millionaire!"
"You're impressed with money, Bess?" Eleanor raises one eyebrow.
"Yes! These guys can buy a girl jewely and take her to the best reataurants and...."
"What time is your date?"
"He's coming to pick me up at 5 so we can drive into Manhattan, see a show and eat at the Four Seasons!"
"You're going to get into a car with a total stranger?" Eleanor says, concerned.
"Sure! And we're not strangers.....see, we've emailed back and forth three times already!" Bess says, impressed with this fact. "It's till too risky!" Eleanor states, "Couldn't you meet for the first time in a local coffee shop? I'd even drive you over..."
"Oh El, you are such a mother hen! Don't worry! He's a gentleman, like Cecily's boyfriend, Alan, is."
"But we know Alan!"
"And soon you'll know Robert!" Bess fluffs it off.
"So he's coming at 5, that gives me all day to get ready, huh?"
"Why aren't you at work today?" Eleanor is suspicious that Bess has lost her job, and with reason.
"Dr. Bidwell told me to take a long weekend, remember?"
Eleanor shakes her head. "What do you plan to wear?"
"You know that green emerald gown you have, Eleanor....."
"You want to get that dressed up?!"
This doesn't phase Bess. "Yes! Would it be too much if I borrowed it? You're thin, and I'm thin, it should fit, shouldn't it?"
"You may borrow it, of course. I just hope it isn't too dressy."
This consideration doesn't phase Bess either. "OH, and how about some jewelry? The real stuff, of course!"
"Be my guest!" Eleanor leads her upstairs to her room where these things are kept. Bess goes bananas pawing through Eleanor's jewely chest, setting aside a necklace, bracelet and ear-rings, all in diamonds.
"I heard..." El tries to be diplomatic, "that you should never wear more than two pieces of jewelry at a time...."
"That's silly, that's just silly!" Bess disregards the advice and also lifts out some diamond hair ornaments. Holding them up to her hair she declares, "When Robert Bucklin, that's his name, sees me, he will die! He will just die! OH, and do you have some perfume?"
"The perfume is in that drawer, Bess. Go easy on it. Too much and it's quite overpowering."
Bess lines up several bottles of perfume and proceeds to sniff them. "Hmmmm, I really like the Chanel No. 5!"
Eleanor is relieved, as that scent is at least subtle, though she doubts that when Bess gets done dousing herself with it that the word subtle will enter anyone's mind....anyone who gets within fifty feet of her.


ROSE WEARS JASMINE......by Terri

Rose sat up in bed and hugged her knees. Was it all a dream? Are things really alright with John and me? Last night was so romantic..so incredible! Maybe too good to be true? Why is he so attentive? She looked at the alarm clock. Eight o'clock. He didn't even wake me up. That wine was wonderful...but why? What is he trying to cover up? Anything? Or is my imagination running wild? She eased herself out of bed and put her robe on. John, you always leave your clothes on the floor. She picked his shirt up...and smelled an unfamiliar scent.
What is this? A perfume with a rose/patchouli base...I always wear a jasmine based perfume....
She threw the shirt down. If he keeps this up, he's going to burn himself out! She took a shower, her tears mingling with the hot water.

Billy Bob reached for his cellphone and dialed Jameson's number.
"Hello?" a groggy voice answered.
"Jameson? You OK?"
'Uhhhhh...I will be when the room stops spinning. What the hell happened?"
"We drank that bottle of Jack last night. And believe me, it was not nearly enough to block out what I woke up to!"
"Woke up to? What do you mean?"
Billy Bob said, "It is too unbelievable. How about we meet for breakfast at Mona's Cafe?"
Jameson groaned. "I just moved...OK, OK, maybe a shower will revive me. See you then."

Billy Bob went inside Mona's and found Jameson in the back booth.
"Jameson, you look like death warmed over."
Jameson rested his head on his folded arms. "I'd have to die to feel better."
Billy Bob ordered two of the #3 specials and a pot of black coffee. "I've got good news and I have bad news...what first?"
Jameson mumbled from his folded arms, "Bad news first. Get it over with."
"Wanda Sue moved back in."
Jameson's head shot up and he winced. "Ooooh....how did THAT happen? Didn't you install that invisible fence that would shock her when she tried to get in?"
Billy Bob told Jameson the morning hi-jinks with Madame Wide Load. He concluded by saying, "..so I just put a key on the table. I don't need any more damage. But believe me, I plan on moving into the spare bedroom. That king-size bed isn't big enough for the two of us!"
"You ever get Chester's antlers straightened out?"
Billy Bob said, "No..and I still have to get his eyes uncrossed!"
Jameson tried to choke down some scrambled eggs. "And the good news?"
"I drove by that hottie red-head's house and Gwinnett's Corvette is still parked outside! Looks like my ex-un-wife is now a cuckold-ette!"
Jameson took a sip of his coffee and said, "Well, what goes around...comes around!"

Rose was running on automatic pilot. She got the children fed and Will off to school. She sat down and picked up her cellphone. She tried to dial Billy Bob's cellphone but all it did was ring. The voicemail never kicked in. She took a deep breath and dialed the ranch.
'You've reached the Double B Ranch. Leave a name and number, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.'
Rose took a deep breath and said, "Billy Bob, it's Rosamond. I just wanted to know how last night's surveillance went. Were you able to follow John to see where he went right after work? For my own peace of mind. I don't know what to think. I smelled perfume on his shirt. And it wasn't mine. So please give me a call back as soon as you can. Thanks. I owe you."
CLICK!
And so the message sat. Like a time-bomb ready to go off.


A-HA!!......by Coralynn

WandaSue, having trouble concentrating on her duties as mayor, stacks the paperwork up in a neat pile and drops it into an open drawer, slamming it shut with her foot.
"Time to get an early start on the weekend!" she stands, stretches and looks around for her coat. Ooops, that's right, I don't have a coat, I don't have anything other this what I have on my back. This will never do!
I know, babydoll, you need to spend the afternoon shopping, but before that it's time for some lunch. Hmmm, looks like I'd better haul myself out to BB's ranch and see what's in his freezer.
Her face falls when she realizes that he won't have any Hungryman dinners, then she perks up, "I know how to fix that!" she says aloud as she grabs her purse and leaves the office.

An hour later WandaSue pulls up in the driveway of the ranch, gets out, opens the car trunk and hauls out two large grocery shopping bags full of her favorite cuisine.
Using the key to the house this time, she lets herself in. Opening the freezer compartment to his refrigerator, she sees it almost empty, smiles, and shoves about fifteen of her frozen dinners in it. Taking just one, she sets the oven, puts it in and starts rumaging around in her purse for her credit cards.
Her Visa is almost maxed out......her American Expess is maxxed, and she can't for the life of her remember where she put that Discover Card. "Probably burned in the fire!" she says dourly, "I wonder if Billy Bob has any credit cards lying around....."
She opens several drawers and finds no credit cards, then goes to where the answering machine is sitting and rifles around inside the drawers under it. The flashing catches her eye.
"Well, well, this machine is flashing that it has '1 message!'"
She hits the button and hears:

"Billy Bob, it's Rosamond. I just wanted to know how last night's surveillance went. Were you able to follow John to see where he went right after work? For my own peace of mind. I don't know what to think. I smelled perfume on his shirt. And it wasn't mine. So please give me a call back as soon as you can. Thanks. I owe you."

"A-HA!" WandaSue yells out jubilantly, "Gotcha bub! So he's spying on John for Rose! Now how can I turn that information to my advantage? I could threaten to tell John..."
Her mind searches for the best idea.
I could blackmail him for another mil! Noooo, that info isn't huge enough to extort that kind of money. I might get a couple thousand for it, but noooo.
I could tell him he divorces me and gives me half.......nonono, again, not huge enough for that.
I could insist he accompany me to official town functions, like banquets and dinner dances! Yes! I like that one! I've heard the whispers about how bogus my claim to being BB's wife is to everyone else. I even heard two members of the city council mocking me, saying stuff like, "I'm WandaSue Montgomery, the wife that never was!" and laughing their arses off. Well, if BB shows up at stuff with me, they can laugh out the other side of their......." she giggles.


PLANNING 'THE TAIL'.........by Coralynn

Eleanor hangs up the phone and tells William and Celeste, "There! Jerry got us tickets to 'Spamalot.'"
"What's that?" Celeste asks.
"That's the hot new Broadway show that Bess told me she and Robert somebody-or-other are going to tonight. I advised her not to get into a car with a stranger, but she insisted that he's not a stranger, as they've emailed back and forth three times...."
Marilyn enters the room, "HUH?!"
"Oh yeah," Eleanor addresses Marilyn, "Our resident ding-bat found this guy on a dating website and agreed to go with him into Mahattan tonight to dinner and a show. I know I won't relax a minute while she's gone, so Jerry and I are going, too, but not with them, we're tailing them."
"Jerry got tickets just like that?!" Marilyn wonders.
"Seems he knows the director. One phone call and voila! Tickets!"
"He knows Mike Nichols?" Marilyn asks.
"He says it's a long story, but yeah...."
"That young woman should be grounded!" William says gruffly, "Or at least have a curfew."
"Good luck getting that," Eleanor chuckles, "she is as headstrong as she is....is...."
"Air-headed?" Celeste supplies the word.
Eleanor points an index finger at Celeste and replies, "Bingo!"

MEANWHILE:

Bess is sitting in Cecily's room over at the Gwinett residence. "We'll have to double date sometime!" she gushes.
"How much do you know about this man?" Cecily's forehead furrows.
"He's handsome, rich, has a yacht...."
"But what's he like?"
"He has to be terrific if he's handsome, rich and has a yacht...."
Cecily looks at Bess like the other young woman is a mental patient, "But he could be a serial killer for all you know!"
"Oh no! The match website doesn't allow serial killers to sign up!" Bess is proud of her rejoinder, "So, how was your date with Alan last night? Is he your main squeeze now?"
"Main squeeze?!"
"Yeah, you know, the guy you have the hots for, the guy you want to date....just him and nobody else....the guy you want to marry..."
"I think you're getting ahead of yourself. Alan is wonderful, and we have a terrific time together, but whether or not either of us is thinking marriage is premature."
"Babies are premature, not romances!" Bess thinks this is a clever answer.
Cecily is beginning to think the other girl doesn't have the brains God gave little geese. "Well, I just know that we're having fun and time will tell about the rest of it."
"You're not getting any younger, ya know! Your biographical sundial is ticking, ticking, ticking...."
"My what?!"
"You know, the years you can have kids.....time is ticking, ticking, ticking...."
"Good grief, Bess, neither of us is much over 20 years old, I don't think we have to concern ourselves unduly..."
"Where ya getting those fancy words?" Bess asks, annoyed, "Alan teaching you stuff?"
"I have a decent vocabulary, I was an avid reader and a good student in school, so no, Alan didn't teach me 'stuff.'" now Cecily is becoming annoyed.
"Well, anyway, we both have hot boyfriends, and I think soon we oughta double date! Will you help me with my makeup today? Robert is picking me up at 5, probably in a Mercedes...."
"I would, but I promised Alan I'd go to a museum with him and since it's Friday, when he takes off mid-afternoon, I won't be here to help you."
Bess flips her long black hair back and stands, disappointed. "Well, then...." she walks toward the door and is heard walking down the stairs, then in another minute the front door opens and closes.
Cecily sees Bess walk back up Winding Willow to the big house and wonders if the others living there are concerned about this new and reckless behavior. She reaches for the phone.


GYPSY EYES.......by Teri

Rosamond balanced Jenna on her hip as she answered the phone on the fourth ring. "Hello?...Marty! Hi!.....no, just cleaning the house..yes, I know, I should get a housekeeper...for lunch?...well, I don't know...really? You definitely have this Sage Hunter picked for the part?....OK. Let me call Celeste....1:00 for lunch? OH! You two can come up to Chappaqua?...Oh, so you plan to use...where? You mean the old Van Buren estate for the location shots?...yes, I agree, the place is VERY Gothic...and I get to wear the old fashioned dresses? ....velvet...lots of lace and bodice lacings...it almost sounds like a period piece..it kind of is?...OK, well I'll be at Firenza Gardens at 1:00...I agree, I think I should meet him to get the feel of him..IT! Get the feel of IT!...stop laughing, Marty!.... Ok..Bye!"

She stood there with a feeling of apprehension and a bit of excitement. She dialed Celeste.
"Celeste?..I have to meet Marty at Firenza Gardens to go over some scriptwork and he's scouting locations....yes, he decided to take this storyline on location so I will be closer to home. I have to be there at 1:00 so could you take Jenna and Julie?..oh, thanks! William can pick up Will?..that works...ok, I'll be down in about a half hour. And thanks! You are a lifesaver!.Bye!"

Rose got dressed and tried to call BB once more on his answering machine.
"Hey, Montgomery, it's Rosamond. I'll be out this afternoon but please give me a call as soon as possible. I have a business meeting at Firenza Gardens and should be home by 3:00. Please call me on my cellphone at 251-2234. Please don't call my house for obvious reasons. Bye!"
Rose put her new suede jacket on. A gift from John. For no reason at all. Yeah. Right. She had on her black skirt and boots and a pale pink cashmere sweater. She fastened her earrings and got the children ready.
And off to their second home.

Rosamond entered Firenza Gardens and the maitre d' came up to her.
"Ah, Miss de Clifford!"
"Hello, Bernardo! Is Mr. Henshaw here yet?"
"Ah, yes! This way."

Rose saw Marty sitting there sipping a martini. He stood up. "Rosamond, you look lovely as ever!"
Rose took her seat and said to Bernardo, "A white wine spritzer, please."
As he left, Rose asked, "So...where is my new co-star?"
"He had to make a phone call. Ah! Here he comes now!"
Rose looked up and into the most incredible face.
What took her back were the eyes.
The eyes were smoldering.
The kind of eyes her mother warned her about.
Gypsy eyes.


MORE AMMO for WandaSue........by Coralynn

WandaSue is just finishing up her lunch when the phone rings. She sits there and waits for the answering machine to come on and hears:

"Hey, Montgomery, it's Rosamond. I'll be out this afternoon but please give me a call as soon as possible. I have a business meeting at Firenza Gardens and should be home by 3:00. Please call me on my cellphone at 251-2234. Please don't call my house for obvious reasons. Bye!"

"Yozie! This is fan-tastic!" she tells the empty house, "So Rosebud is going to be at Firenza Gardens is she? Well, well, I think I'll drop over there and see what she's up to! Maybe find out more about her having BB spy for her. But she said it was a business meeting so BB won't be there. Hmmmm. What the hey, I'm going anyway. Never a waste to get more ammo against that tramp! I could blackmail her, too if I could just catch her red-handed doing something......anything....."
She catches sight of herself in the mirror over the buffet and considers, "I should show up there looking like someone else, no sense letting Rosebud know it's me. Hmmm..........I know! I'll dress like a man! Sure! BB's clothes are a bit wide in the shoulders for me, but otherwise should fit pretty well."
She goes upstairs and rifles through his closet, finding a huge assortment of choices. She's drawn to an old camaflage getup he probably wears when he goes hunting.
"But would they even let me in that fancy restaurant wearing this? I don't think so....."
She finds a business suit that would be appropriate in any setting and tries it on. The pants legs are way too long, so she cuffs them 3 or 4 times, then grabs an orange tie and tries to put that on. "How in hell do men knot these stupid things anyway?" she flings it across the bed nearby.
"Sunglasses!" she rummages through some drawers and finds several. Choosing the aviator-style pair, she puts those on and rehearses, "Mr. William Sawyer Huntington the Third here! Yes, I have a reservation! You can't find it? Let me talk to the manager, as obviously someone is incompetent! Yes, I'll wait.........oh, you just found the reservation? That was fortunate, wasn't it? Thank you........can you position me near the table reserved for Rose Gwinett? Oh so you don't know which table that's going to be? And why is that, because of your total incompetence? I shall have to lodge a complaint. A-ha! so you say they're to be at table 4? Good man! Let me have the one next to that. You say the couple sitting there isn't quite done and you need to clear the table? Fine. I can wait."
Satisfied that she has her routine down pat, she leaves the house, gets in her car and heads for Firenza Gardens.


A CHANGE OF SCRIPT.......by Terri

Sage gave her a brilliant smile. "Ah, Miss de Clifford! At long last I am meeting you. And what a pleasure it is!"
He held out his hand. Rosamond found herself taking it and then she found her voice. "I-I'm delighted," she said.
"And not as much as I am." Sage laughed. "When I was in acting school last year, the male members of the class used to tune in to watch 'As The Planet Turns' mostly to see you. We all wanted to take the place of John Gwinnett as Brad. We actually 'fantasy-plotted' ways to get rid of him so the part would be up for grabs! And now here I am! Playing opposite you in a romantic role! The first thing I did was call my fellow classmates. They are wild with envy!"
His voice held the ever slight trace of a European accent. Rose asked, "Mr. Hunter. I am sure we will work well together. Where are you from?"
Sage smiled and said, "I was born in Italy. My father is American but my mother is from the Tuscan region."
Marty said, "We thought a European accent would add to the mystique. I have a change of plan. I decided to keep Daisy still on hiatus."
Rose said, "Oh."
She tried to hide her disappointment. Marty patted her hand. "Don't fret, Rose I have another idea. The 'My Blood Runs Cold' scenario is put on hold for a little while. I have a better idea. I am making a movie and I won't accept anyone but you in this role."
Rose took a drink of her spritzer and thought, oh great. A made for TV movie. One of those where the woman is dealing with a smart-ass little pre-teen daughter and a divorce....
Marty went on to say, "We have been in negotiations with the author and he has just agreed to our terms and we agreed to his. Did you ever hear of Matthew Hutchinson?"
Rose said cautiously, "Yes..."
"Well, since pirates are so hot right now, we decided to make his novel about Rhys Morgan and Megaera Stafford into a movie."
Rose had taken a sip of her wine spritzer at that very moment and started to choke on it.
"On-on Rhys and Megaera?"
Marty said, "You act as though they are real people! The book is on the best seller list still. We thought you would be perfect for the part of Megaera and Sage here could be Rhys."
Rose found her voice and said, "You didn't want John in that part? He would be perfect.."
Marty cut her off with a wave of his hand. "Honey, John is too much connected with the part he plays of Brad with you. I cast him and the public would still see Daisy/Brad. I needed to disconnect that."
Sage took her hand and said, "Oh, please say yes, Miss de Clifford--Rose---- it would be the chance of a lifetime to play opposite you."
She looked up at the young man with long dark hair and gypsy eyes and said, "How can I resist...playing the part, of course..."

Sally Jennings looked in the refrigerator. "Penny, there is nothing here but five beers, a shrunken tomato, and half a carton of Mushu pork."
Penelope walked over and said, "So I forgot to go grocery shopping. I haven't received my first paycheck yet from that adult diaper commercial I did last week."
Sally said, "Well, don't you have any money in savings?"
"I don't want to withdraw any cash because I only had two withdrawals coming this month. They charge 3.00 for every one over that."
Sally sighed and said, "I am starving."
Penelope looked hopeful at her and Sally said, "Oh, ALRIGHT! My treat! Where shall we go?"
Penelope said, "Let's celebrate that allergy commercial I did Monday. How about Firenza Gardens for an antipasto salad?"
Sally got her coat and tossed Penelope hers.
"Firenza Gardens it is."


CONVERGENCE........by Coralynn

WandaSue is glad she reheared her entrance routine, because she has to use it almost word for word when she arrives at Firenza Gardens. Now she's sitting at the table next to where Rose and Marty Henshaw and some hot guy they're calling Sage are yakking away about some movie Rose is going to be in.
WandaSue looks up from her steak and sees the back of Rose's head, which is good, she can hear what Rose says, but the other woman doesn't have a clear view of Wandasue.
Being a naturally fast eater, WandaSue finds a piece of steak lodged in her throat as she avidly listens to the plans those three at the next table are discussing. Wow! This is the mother lode, she thinks before she realizes she's choking.
Coughing and gagging is finally noticed by a passing waiter, who stops and asks, "Are you alright, sir?"
"Nnnnnn......" is all WandaSue can reply.
The waiter rushes off and a more muscular one hurries to the table, yanks WandaSue up out of her chair and administers the Heimlich manuever so forcefully that the steak shoots out and lands near the other side of the table on the floor.
By now WandaSue's face is flushed and as she nods her thanks, not wanting anyone within hearing range to notice her voice, lest they recognize it even if it is two octaves lower, she sits down again and tries to regain whatever composure she had. Rose hasn't turned around to look at the source of the coughing and gagging, but Marty Henshaw has been staring a hole through her, WSue notices.
She sees two familiar faces sitting at a table behind the one Rose is occupying, Rats! It's Sal and Penny! If they recognize me I'm toast!


POWER LUNCH......by Terri

Rosamond, Marty and Sage sat at the table finishing up lunch and laughing. Sage said, "I am really looking forward to working with you, Rosamond. And I hope it will be a mutually satisfying relationship..for work."
He hesitated ever so slightly between 'relationship' and 'work'. Rose felt her face blush. She began to wonder, 'am I really that out of practice in the flirting game?'
Rose scooted her chair back and excused herself, saying she had to make a quick phone call.
Marty turned to Sage and asked, "Well, what do you think? You think the two of you can work together?"
Sage looked appreciatively at Rose's retreating walk. "Oh, yes! I think we have a chemistry that will translate onto the film well enough for your movie. How old did you say she is?"
Marty said, "She's 22."
"And how many children does she have?"
"Three."
Sage looked thoughtful. "I'm only a year older than her...Marty, I think you are going to have a hit on your hands. Where do you plan on filming this on location?"
"Well, we are trying to keep it within budget so I am planning on all over Long Island. The coastline is perfect. Around a little town called Southold."

Penelope looked up from her antipasto and dropped her fork. "I don't believe it!"
Sally speared an olive and said, "What don't you believe?"
"That rich spoiled princess Rosamond. She's having lunch with those two men in back of us."
"WHAT?"
Penelope casually looked around and then leaned over and whispered, "That is His Eminence Martin Henshaw over there."
Sally craned her neck and said, "Isn't he your old boss?"
Penelope scowled, "Yes. And I wonder who that gorgeous hunk is?"
Sally said, "Let me throw down my fork and go under the table and see if I can hear what they are saying."
She dropped her fork and said theatrically, "WHOOPSIE DAISY!"
She dived for it--and went under the table. All of a sudden, the table started to move..closer and closer...
Penelope tried to steady the table that looked like it was a 7.0 on the Richter scale. The table started to move and all of a sudden, Sally appeared from underneath. She announced, "I FOUND IT!" and proceeded to wash it in Penelope's water glass.
Penelope wrinkled her nose and rolled her eyes. She leaned forward and Sally leaned back....

Sage said, "When do you want to start production?"

Marty replied, "In a few weeks."
"Will her husband have any 'issues'?"
Marty said, "Oh, of course not! John is a pro. He's been in this business long enough to know that anything that is on the set, stays on the set. But they DID seem to break their own rules."
Rosamond was walking towards the table. Sage looked up and said, "She IS a lovely lady."
Marty said, "Yes, she is. And happily married."
Sage looked at him sharply. "I don't have the reputation of wooing and bedding my co-stars, Marty."
Marty hurriedly said, "Oh, of course not, Sage!"
And Sage thought 'no, I haven't.....yet.'

Rosamond took her seat. "I just had to check with Celeste. The baby was getting the sniffles but I guess she's OK now."
Sage said, "You must have a hectic schedule with the children and working. Your husband doesn't mind?"
Rose hesitated for a minute and then steeled her voice. "He understands. He's been very busy with his fitness center. And of course, the Planet as soon as he gets off hiatus."
Marty said, "We will go back into production, Rose, when we finish the movie."
Sage said, "I imagine the movie will rival Pirates of the Caribbean?"
Rose quickly said, "Oh, I think Pirates set the standard that all other pirate movies will be measured by. I know my son lives and breathes it. And speaking of the children, I really should get home."
Marty reached into his briefcase. "We have a script. Matt Hutchinson wrote it with Marilyn's help."
"Marilyn? Is that why she spent so much time over at Moose's house over the last month?"
Marty smiled, "I don't know about that. But there may be a few re-writes between now and next week. Just some punching up."
Rose got out her car keys and said, "Just let me know when and where I am to report, Marty."
She turned to Sage and gave him a brilliant smile. "I do so look forward to working with you, Sage."
As she walked out, Sage's gypsy eyes followed her.
The effect was not lost on Marty Henshaw. Or the two other tables surrounding theirs.


INFO OVERLOAD.......by Coralynn

WandaSue sits there and tries to organize what she found out. "Rose is having a 'thing' with this guy they're calling Sage. She's also hired BB to spy on John because she thinks he's having an affair. How rich is this?! So at least I can threaten to tell John he's being tailed and reported on....that oughta get some moola out of BB, maybe Rose as well. And, if Rose keeps up this 'thing' with the guy named Sage, who I must admit is a studmuffin of the first order, I may be able to get some out of her over that; threaten to tell John! My my how this one couple is going to keep me in furs and Caribbean vacations for years to come!

Hoping to casually slip out of the restaurant without that Marty Henshaw guy looking at her suspiciously, she gets up from the chair but, unbekowndst to her, the pant legs on the right side have slid down. Her left foot steps on the fabric which causes her to pitch over and land face-first on the table one over from her, nearer the door.
She rights herself and sees an older couple glaring daggers at her. "Oooops!" she says as she grabs up the pant leg, and hobbles out, one hand holding that up as she tries to move rapidly. The matre'd looks like he's going to approach her, so she speeds it up and somehow gets out of the place before the cuffed up part of the left leg unlooses as well. She hobbles off, somehow reaches her car, and after opening the door, whips off the pants and tosses them into the back seat, then guns it out of there.

MEANWHILE:

"How's my star pupil coming along?" William asks Luke, who emerges from the den where he's been told to stay till he masters a western/twang.
"I hate this!" is the only answer, Luke grabbing a sandwich off the large plate placed on the dining room table. "I look ridiculous in this.....this.....outfit, too!"
"Must I keep reminding you that you made a public display of yourself the other night? That you as much as blew your cover and the sharper people in the media are going to figure out that you're really Ludwig van Beethoven?"
Luke stuffs half a sandwich in his mouth, chews, then replies, "And make themselves sound stark staring mad?"
"People in this town are used to reading outlandish things about us, and, though they take it with a grain of salt, and it's more fodder for amusement than taken seriously, I for one am getting tired of it! I told the group I brought here four years ago to 'blend in.' Did I fail to tell you the same thing?"
"I was not born to 'blend in,' as you put it. I am a composer, a famous and rightly so, composer! If I were a person who liked to blend in, I would have taken up something normal... like medicine!"
"The media loves to descend on us, Luke. It's gotten like a cat and mouse game with them. I saw the Channel 7 van parked out front. What do you think they're doing here, having a field trip? a picnic? Noooo, they want to get a picture of the mad musician who all but brought that concert to a screeching, grinding halt!"
Luke grabs another sandwich, "So I'm trapped here in this getup?"
"You're in this house because I don't trust you to go back to Henry8th's castle and whip off this disguise. I also want you to talk like a cowboy in case any of the media approach you for any reason. See out there? Bess is coming back from a chat with Cecily over at John and Rose's house. See how those vultures are surrounding her, see that microphone shoved in her face?"
Both men watch as this transpires. Since Bess is so fixated on her upcoming date, and in no mood to talk about anything else, she slaps the mike away and marches deliberately toward the big house.

MEANWHILE, 30 minutes later:

WandaSue is sitting on the couch with a HungryMan dinner propped on her lap, watching Jerry Springer, when Billy Bob comes in. He flips a lever which turns off the electricity to the room WandaSue is occupying. "HEY!" she protests, a sound he pretends he doesn't hear.
As BB scrutinizes his answering machine, WandaSue comes up behind him and pokes him in the ribs, which causes him to jump, but still not say anything.
"Ohhhh, legally wed husband of mine," she begins, "Rosebud left you a message. Seems she thinks John is cheating, aye? And you're spying on him for her. Hmmmm, that piece of information oughta be worth a cool 50 thou!"
He continues to ignore her and plays the messages. As he hears them he realizes just how much Wandasue has learned and groans in his mind. S$#%! he thinks, that skank would have to have been here and heard these! Do I cave in to her blackmail or do I call her bluff? Hmmm, her bluff can be pretty drastic if past behaviour is any indication of future behaviour.

WandaSue sits on a couch nearby and instructs, "I can wait for you to write out a check, sweetmeats. Your checkbook is in the little drawer over there on your desk, you know, second one down on the left."


AFTER LUNCH RUNINATIONS......by Terri

Sally and Penelope looked at each other. Sally said, "Well, this is very interesting!"
Penelope looked at Rose going out the door. "And look at the sway in her hips! If that doesn't scream 'take me', nothing does! She looks like a cat in heat!"
Sally looked disapprovingly at Penelope's words but reasoned, 'hey, if it wasn't for Penelope, I'd be sitting at home all alone.'
"Shhhhh!" Sally said. "Looks like your ex-boss is about to wrap up his luncheon with the Lothario over there."
They overheard Marty say, "I think we can have the two of you in for wardrobe fittings. We are trying to negotiate with Bethia Bidwell for the costumes. She has drawn a few sketches and we were very impressed. She has a real feel for period costuming. Almost as if she had been there! Either that or she is a wonderful student of history."

Sage said, "I think it will all work well. Are you sure Mr. Gwinnett will not mind his wife working so long and on location out of town?"
Marty said, "We will use the Van Buren estate for the Stafford house, interior shots. And there is a wonderful point outside of Southold that would suffice beautifully for the cliff where Rhys and Megaera first meet."
Sage thumbed through the script. "The secret meetings in the cave with Megaera and Rhys...they are very romantic. Very sensual, are they not?"
Marty shrugged. "Well, the ladies seem to like the romance of it."
Sage laughed. "And how romantic do you want it?"
Marty answered, "That is up to you and Rose. I find it best to let actors go where their acting takes them. I don't interfere, I just know if it works or not."
Sage closed the script and said, "It will work. We are both actors. How will her husband really feel about it?"
Marty said, "Rose and John have been friends of Barbara and me for a few years. In fact, it was in our beach house that Rose gave birth to their youngest daugher Jenna."
"Really! How did that happen?"
"Nor'easter came through, electric went out, dead car battery. But those two have a karma that pulls them through anything."
The men got up and put on their coats. Sage said, "She must be a remarkable person.How long have they been married?"
Marty said, "Oh, let's see...their daughter Julie is two this month....I think they have been married about a year and a half..."
Sage did some quick math and thought, 'that is very interesting...'
Marty pushed his chair in and said, "I think you will find Rosamond a delight to work with. She's very easy to get along with."
Sage thought, 'easy being the key word...'
As they left, Sage said, "I can't tell you how excited I am about this movie, Marty..."

Penelope leaned over to Sally and said, "Did you hear that enlightening exchange of ideas?"
Sally mimicked, " 'I think you will find Rosamond a delight to work with' Oh PUH-LEEEZE!"
Penelope shoved a piece of buttered bread in her mouth. "That Rosetramp not only torpedoed my career, she's married to the man who was seeing ME!"
Sally waved her fork around. "Oh yeah! Right. Like he left you for HER! I will never forgive her for sending me to the Exodus. But I got even. Wanda Sue and I sent her to the Gold Rush. And that John--he's the reincarnation of my brother in law Gideon. When I used to run my...my establishment, would you believe that Gideon wanted a FAMILY DISCOUNT?"
Penelope said, "What nerve! Did you get a load of Rosetramp's jacket and that necklace?"
Sally said, "Spoiled little princess. Wonder if that rogue she is married to knows about her lunch with that studmuffin?"
"Studmuffin? This coming from a noted man-hater?"
Sally wiped her mouth off with the napkin. "Well, yes. By the world's standards. I wonder what her darling husband would think of that little three way tete a tete?"
Penelope got a gleam in her eyes and said, "I don't know. I wonder.....yes, it could work....Sally? You feel like a workout?"
"Huh?"
"I have my membership at the gym. And I can get you a guest pass. What say you and I go on a little reconnaissance mission and find out from observation just how copacetic the marital status of said beautiful couple really is?"
"In English, Penelope?"
"Let's spy and eavesdrop."
"Now you're talking! Just lead me to my Reeboks!"


ALL GUSSIED UP..........by Coralynn

Bess' bedroom is on the first floor and Eleanor's on the second, so Bess runs from one floor to the other hauling clothes, shoes, jewelry and such from El's room to hers.
Marilyn has finished writing her weeks worth of advice columns for the newspaper and is relaxing in the living room, watching this parade of one.
"Good grief Bess, how many dresses do you need?" she asks as Bess flies through the room yet again.
"OH Marilyn! Will you tell me which ones looks best on me? I thought Eleanor's green gown would be perfect, that is until I saw the blue one and the white one and...."
"Sure I'll help you. But what's with the bras you have in that pile you're carrying?"
"Eleanor has these neat pushup ones, see?" Bess holds out a wonderbra happily, "one of these can make anybody look ka-ka-kaboom!"
"You mean va-va-va-voom?" Marilyn laughs.
"Right!" Bess runs off with her latest stash, emerging ten minutes later in a dark blue gown, her bosom riding almost out of the top of the dress, jewelry dripping from her ears, neck, wrist and even her fingers, upon which she has shoved three diamond cocktail rings.
"Oh no, too much!" Marilyn critiques, "Take off half that jewely. Two pieces at a time, only two. And that bra is shoving you up way too high. The dress looks pretty good, but ya know, Bess, it's rather too sophistocated for a young woman your age. On Eleanor it looks right, but on you.......well, to be blunt, it makes you look like you're wearing your mother's clothes."
Bess slumps down on a couch. "Then what can I wear?! I don't have my own gown, not a gown you'd wear to a Broadway show!"
"You don't need a gown. A dressy dress would suffice."
"I don't have a dressy dress either!"
"Come with me, young lady, I think I have the perfect thing..." Marilyn's eyes light up as Bess follows her upstairs to Marilyn's room.
Marilyn pulls out a knee-length dark blue sheath and holds it up to Bess, "This is a can't-miss!"
"But it's so plain!"
"Plain is good. A string of baby pearls, even a diamond necklace, but not that one you have on right now, girl, it's enormous, overpowers you!"
Bess takes off the gown and puts on the simple sheath, Marilyn puts a string of dainty pearls around her neck, stands back and pronounces, "Classy! very classy! With a brocade jacket," she reaches in and brings out a blue one with various muted shades, "you will be so classy that Robert will think you're an heiress!"
"I don't want classy, I want hot!"
"This can be hot, it just doesn't scream it from the rooftops."
"OK, OK, I'll take it down to my room....." Bess smiles gratefully, but Marilyn has the feeling that the younger woman is not convinced.


OPERATION SUBMARINE......by Terri

Sally and Penelope hurried home to change and within a half hour, they were suited up and standing in front of the fitness center.
"Are you ready for 'Operation Submarine The Rich Bitch?" Penelope said.
Sally said, "Ready as you are!"
"Then let's do it!"
They grinned, high-fived each other and walked into the gym.

John was at the life-cycle machine with a woman who was overweight and in her 30's. She batted her eyes at him.
"Ooh, Mr. Gwinnett..."
"Please, call me John. Makes me feel like my father."
The woman gushed. "OH! John! OK! Anyways, if I keep on this bicycle and ride the equivalent of the distance from here to New York City every day, will I lose 30 pounds by the end of this month?"
John sighed, "Well, seeing that the end of the month is only two weeks away, I'd say no. You need to take it off slowly and carefully. A sudden drop can just frustrate you when you gain it back and then some."
What I really feel like saying is, 'if you would lay off the twinkies, you blimp, you wouldn't be in this shape!' But if it weren't for people like this...
He ran his fingers through his hair and thought, 'damn, am I tired! And with Rose going back to work, it's not going to get any better.'
"John? John? How do you turn this thing off?"
The pedals were going faster and faster and the Blimp was pedaling faster and faster to keep up. John reached over and deftly hit the 'stop' button. Blimp, whose name was Janet, went sailing over the handlebars.
"AAAAHHHH!!!"
She landed on top of Slim who just happened to be walking by. John stood there like he wasn't believing what he just saw. Daniel and Rafe hurried over and helped Janet up.
Daniel said, "You OK?"
Janet just nodded. She had the wind knocked out of her. Daniel said, "Rafe? You see to Slim...Hey, Hots! Help me with this..with uh, Janet.."
Hots put his weights back and rushed over to help Daniel. They uprighted Janet. John apologized all over the place. Janet was just flattered to have all the attention. Finally Daniel got her on the cycle and comforted and flattered her. When Janet was all squared away, Daniel grabbed John by the shirt tail and said, "Come into the office, bro."
John was dragged in and Daniel shut the door. "What the HELL is wrong with you, John? You have been surly and have screwed up. Repeatedly."
John ran his hands over his face and shook his head. "I'm alright. I just haven't had much sleep."
Daniel narrowed his eyes."Trouble at home?"
John snapped, "Of course not! Everything is fine. Just fine! Rose is going back to work at the Planet and if that makes her happy, well, what do I care as long as she is happy and the children are with Celeste. Now, I have a member to train."
Daniel called out, "If you don't kill her first. She still has to pay up.."

Billy Bob gathered up his coat. Wanda Sue yelled, "Hey, aren't you gonna cut me a check? Fifty thou ain't much to ask for client-detective privilege. You wanna lose your private eye license?"
Billy Bob began to think fast. 'I'd better get out of here and call Rose before Dirtbag does any damage.'
He grabbed his keys and went to his car. Once outside, he tried to call Rosamond's cellphone. No answer. He sighed. No harm in calling the house...
"Hello?"
"Oh, uh, hi. Is Rosamond there?"
"No, she isn't--may I take a message, Mr. Montgomery?"
"How-how did you know who it was?"
The young woman laughed and said, "I saw it on the telephone. Are you that new actor that she is supposed to meet?"
Billy Bob thought, 'new actor'? But instead he said, "Ummm...no, no I'm not. I'm her..I'm just an old friend."
The young woman said, "Oh, wait a minute! Wait...Rose used to be married to you, didn't she! I thought your name was familiar."
Billy Bob was puzzled. "Who--who---have I met you?"
The woman said, "Oh, no, I don't think so. I'm John's sister Cecily, newly arrived from England. I think she may have gone to the gym after her lunch. Did you want to leave a message for Rose?"
Billy Bob thought fast."Oh, she's going to the gym? I'll try to catch her there. It-it's just something I had to ask her about the horse she has boarded here."
"Oh, OK. Well, you have a great day, Mr. Montgomery!"
CLICK!

Wanda Sue kicked the ottoman out of her way and sat down with a thump. She crossed her arms. Should I call up John darling and let him know that he is on the spy end of I spy? Just then, Jerry Springer came back on. Awww...later! Come on, honey! Don't just hold that chair, work it! WORK IT!

Billy Bob thought, she's going to be at the gym, huh? Wouldn't hurt to check on my little insects, now, would it?...

John offered his sincere apologies to Janet the Blimp and offered her three free trainer sessions to sweeten the pot. Sally and Penelope looked and sauntered over to the cycles where John was trying to make amends with Janet. Penelope said, "You just follow my lead, OK?"
Sally nodded, a malicious gleam in her eyes. They mounted the cycles and began peddling at a leisurely pace.
Penelope said in voice that could be heard half-way across the gym, "Firenza Gardens had the best manicotti, I think we have to work it off, Sally!"
Sally said, "It seems to be the spot to see everyone in town, too."
"Yes. And imagine seeing my old boss Marty Henshaw there."
"Oh, was that Marty Henshaw? I did recognize Rosamond de Clifford there. But who was that gorgeous hunk who was sitting right next to her?"
"I don't know. I never saw him before. Maybe some new talent in town?"
"They seemed to know each other very well. I noticed he kept touching her hand."
"And did you see the way he pushed her hair out of her eyes?"
"Well, I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers, if you know what I mean!"
"Oh, I'll bet I know who he is! I'll bet he's a close relative visiting from out of town, Sally! I mean, he gave her a nice big kiss and hug when they left. He walked her out to her car, too."
"Oh, yes, I did see that! He must be staying somewhere close by because I saw him give Miss de Clifford a piece of paper. He wrote something on it."
Penelope said, "I bet it's where he is staying in town! He probably wants to come over and meet the rest of the family because I heard her giving him a phone number."
"What a nice person she is!"
"Yes, she MUST be cousin. She kept laughing at all his stories. They seemed to have so much in common."
Sally slowed her bike down. "You know, Penelope...the hot tub sounds nice!"
They stopped their cycles and slid off.
Penelope pretended to whisper something in Sally's ear and Sally said, "NO! REALLY??? You SAW that?"
They headed to the locker rooms and the women's hot tubs. Sally looked back and saw John staring hard at them. Sally gave him a brilliant smile and waved. They then disappeared in the locker room. High-fived each other and then dissolved into giggles, congratulating each other on the submarine job they just did. Blowing it sky-high and into smithereens.

Rose got her gym bag out of the trunk and walked inside the gym.
"Well, look who's come to visit us!"
"Hello, Daniel."
"Awww..you knew it was me?"
Rose said, "I've been with John long enough to know the difference between the two of you. Where is he?"
"He's over there with a woman who can use all the help she can get! You wouldn't believe it, but he flipped her over the handlebars! What is with him lately, Rose?"
Rose shrugged. "I don't know. Burning the candle at both ends, maybe? I need to work out, Daniel. I'll catch John when he isn't so..occupied."
She went into the locker room and changed clothes and began her warm-up on the treadmill.
"Well, fancy running into you here!" Billy Bob said.
Rose looked up from adjusting the machine. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, just thought I would work out a bit. Trim some fat off!"
Rose laughed. "Montgomery, you are anything but fat!"
Billy Bob wiped his face off with a towel. "Ok, here it is. I called the house and a very friendly young woman told me you were here."
Rose started to jog on the machine. "...and?"
"And we have a speck of trouble!"
"A speck I can handle."
"Maybe more than a speck."
Rose glanced over and saw John looking at her and Billy Bob. "I think someone is not too happy with me talking to you. What is the problem..in a nutshell."
"Wanda Sue is back at the ranch since her condo burned down and she played my answering machine."
Rose stopped suddenly and slammed into the front of the treadmill.
"WHAT????"
John came over with Janet the Blimp and said, "Oh! There you are! Long time no see here, darling."
Rose said, "Hello, John."
Suddenly, a voice over the intercom said, "John, I need you in the office to verify this order."
John set Janet on the treadmill next to Rose and said, "Here. Could you show her how to use the treadmill? I have to take this."
Rose sighed to herself but said, "Sure." To Billy Bob she said, "I'll just be a minute."
She started to show Janet the Blimp where to push in her weight when Janet put her hand over the dial as she punched in her weight. Then to Rose she said, "You know, he's with ME! I had him first! He's supposed to be training ME, not YOU!"
Rose said, "What?"
Janet the Blimp pushed her mousy hair out of her eyes and wiped the sweat that was dripping off her red face and said, "You women with your cute little gym shorts and sports bras think all you have to do is wiggle your little butts and you can get any of these trainers, don't you?"
Rose turned to Billy Bob and said sweetly, "Would you excuse me a minute?"
To Janet she said, "For your information, that trainer happens to be the father of three..."
"Then why are YOU bothering him? I'll bet his wife would..."
Rose said, "And I just happen to be the mother of those three children."
Janet's mouth opened but no words came out.
Rose said, "Now, I would suggest you close your mouth and let's set this treadmill on 2.0 speed. We don't want to overtax you now, do we?"
She turned to Billy Bob and said, "Shall we repair to the juice bar?"
As they got some orange juice, Rose hissed to Billy Bob, "How did THAT happen?"
Billy Bob took a drink and said, "Don't blame me. YOU were the one who left the message on the machine. I tried to call you on the cellphone and got nada. Why did you leave messages on my home phone?"
Rose said, "How was I supposed to know that dirtbag would be there?"
Billy Bob said, "We got trouble."
"How much trouble?"
"Fifty thousand dollars worth of trouble."
Rose choked on her orange juice. "She--she wants MONEY?"
"Doesn't she always?"
Rose grabbed Billy Bob's arm and said, "You have to do something! Anything! I can't let John know! Not until I am sure."
Billy Bob gently released her arm. "I'll take care of it, honey."
Rose glanced over and saw John come out of his office. "I-I'd better go. I need to tell him something. I'll call you on your cellphone from now on."

John was putting Janet the Blimp on a weight machine, showing her how to use it, setting the bars and the weight calibrations. Rose walked over and said, "I need to talk to you, John."
"I can't right now, Rose. I'm working."
"But it is about the meeting with Marty..."
"Rose, it will have to wait until later. I am busy."
Rose said, "FINE! May I expect you for dinner then?"
"Yes. I'll be home by 6:00."
Rose said frostily, "Then I shall expect you on time. Unless you get delayed."
She walked away and went towards the locker rooms to change.
The Blimp said, "So....that is your wife?"
John said curtly, "Yes."
"A little high-strung, isn't she?"
John said, "Excuse me a minute. Rafe? Can you adjust this?"
Rafe came over and John left to go after Rose. He caught her by the arm and said, "I'm sorry, Rose. I was in the middle of training someone."
Rose shook his arm off and said, "Too busy for your wife?"
John said, "Oh, come on, Rose! Don't be like that!"
"Like what? I had something important to discuss."
"OK, let's go into my office and discuss it now."
"I don't feel like it now."
Just then, Pat McMahon came in and said, "John, I have the most divine line of workout clothes.."
Rose just pushed past him and walked out.
Pat said, "Is that your....?"
"Yes. It is. Excuse me."
By the time he got out the door, Rose gunned the engine and all John saw was exhaust smoke.


MR. WONDERFUL........by Coralynn

Celeste, William, Eleanor and Marilyn look up as Bess emerges from her room, dressed for her date with Robert, who she's begun calling Mr. Wondeful, Mr. Rich, Prince Charming, the list goes on.
They gasp as they see that she has indeed not taken Marilyn's or Eleanor's advice regarding a proper outfit for a Broadway show. Bess is resplendent in Eleanor's blue gown, with diamond tiara, necklace, ear-rings and bracelet all but blinding them. As she smiles triumphantly and walks closer, they can smell half a bottle of Chanel No. 5, which the young woman has obviously gone through, making sure that no part of her body is without aroma.
William rapidly waves one hand in front of his face and emits a "Whewwww! What is that smell?"
"You like?" Bess turns round and round showing off her outfit until she makes herself dizzy and has to hang on to the back of a chair.
"Too much jewelry," El and Marilyn exclaim at the same time.
"I like it, and I'll bet Robert will, too! They say first impressions are everything! He's rich, so he'll want a woman who also looks rich, looks like she...."
"Hooks in the lounge of the Sheraton hotel!" William ends her sentence.
Bess looks at him in confusion, "What's that?"
No answer from William, who throws his hands up in defeat and leaves the room.
Marilyn tries to be more diplomatic, "You see, Bess, classy women don't over-dress, and that's unfortunately what you've done."
"I told you, I don't want to look classy, I want to look hot!"
"You look hot alight," Celeste comments, "But if you like it, who are we to say nay?"
"Exactly!" Bess smiles at Celeste. At last, someone who understands!
"What time is he coming to pick you up?" El asks as she tries to coordinate the 'tailing' expedition she and Jerry are to launch as soon as Bess and Robert have gone. Jerry is parked down the street, waiting for El to ring his cellphone and tell him it's time.
"5! Which is in two minutes! This is so exciting!" Bess' eyes shine as she looks out the small windows that flank the front door. "Rats! Someone's out there, but it looks like a repairman. Any of you call for a repairman?"
The others also look out the little windows and see a short, skinny man in a suit he has obviously borrowed from a much larger friend, a small corsage of roses in his hand, walking up to the door. Marilyn, El and Celeste look at each other with amazement. Could this be Bess' date?!

The doorbell rings.
Bess is so sure that the person on the other side of the door is a repairman, not her date, that she flings it open and asks, "Are you the plummer?"
This man steps inside and as the light in the room illuminates his visage, they see long greasy hair, a smile with two front teeth missing on top, one on the bottom, acne scars, we're talking deep acne scars here, huge ears, and a voice that could cut glass, it's pitched so high.
"You my date? Bess? Wow, you're a looker!" he asks, shoving the corsage at her.
"I don't think so. I'm expecting Robert Bucklin, a rich man I met on match.com," she answers, tossing the wilted corsage on an end table.
"That....that's....me," he says in his voice so high that when he speaks dogs all over the county go into a frenzy, getting his wallet out of the back pants pocket. Several slips of paper fall from the wallet as he tries to find his I.D.
Succeeding, he shoves his driver's license at Bess, "See?"
She sees that this is Robert Bucklin. How could this have happened? She begins to panic.
"Your......chariot....uhhhh....awaits!" he announces, obviously having reheared this in advance, so stilted does it sound.
Bess' eyes flip around the group of women with desperation, looking for some help. El, Celeste and Marilyn simply smile and as Marilyn says, "Have fun, you two!" Robert Bucklin leads Bess out of the house, her head swiveling back to again send a pleading message to her friends who continue to stand there smiling.
"OH....MY.....God!" Marilyn breaths after the door closes. The three women look out and see Robert leading Bess not to a Mercedes, but an old rusty pickup truck.
"Better phone Jerry tuit suite!" El says as she dials his cell phone, "We have to prevent a crime from taking place...."
"You think he may be a criminal? You think Bess is in dangerf?" Celeste asks.
"No, but Robert Bucklin may be in danger.......did you see the look she gave him? Oh...Jerry....yes, they just left............right, let's roll!"


BESS' BIG DATE........by Coralynn

Bess waits for Robert to open the truck door for her, but he gets in the driver's side and waits for her to clamber in. The truck has been customized to be about four feet higher than it was ever intended, which means Bess has to gather up the skirt of her gown with one hand and reach up, way up, to grasp something inside the truck to facilitate her reaching the seat. She finds something to grasp, but, as she lifts herself up, one of the four inch heels slides off her left foot.
"Help!" she yells out.
Robert looks at her quizzically but doesn't move.
"My shoe, my shoe.....it's on the pavement!" she tells him.
He gets out of the truck, walks around to the passenger side and retrives the shoe, tossing it in on her lap; walks back around, get in the driver's seat and starts the engine.
"This baby has been retooled, recustomized, I mean this truck is my baby!" he brags.
The sound of the engine is so raucous that several people come out on their porches to see the source of the noise, holding hands over their ears. Bess slides down so that hopefully she won't be seen.

They're driving toward the highway into Manhattan when the engine begins to cough and sputter, the truck lurches and bucks. Bess is still fishing around trying to find the seat belt to no avail. "Where is the seat belt?" she asks loudly over the sound of the motor.
"Took them pesky things out!" he replies proudly. Bess clings on to the armrest, hoping the door doesn't suddently open, flinging her out onto the road.
Robert yells, "Gotta blow out the carbon so this baby will run right!" and proceeds to floor the accelerator.
Bess clings onto the armrest even harder, paniced as the truck proceeds to go faster and faster.
"Ahhhh, there, ya see? Now it's purring."
"It may be purring, but I hear a siren behind us," Bess yells.
"HUH! Ain't no cop car in the country can catch us!" he keeps the speed at 80 mph.
The siren sound continues to get louder as the cop car gets closer.
"So he wants to race does he?!" Robert grins devilishly.
"NO!" Bess yells out, but Robert isn't listening as he pushes his truck to the max.
The cop car comes alongside, siren and flashing lights blazing.
Robert decides to ditch the cop car by making a sharp right at the next road, and when he does so the truck almost tips over. By now Bess is screaming in terror.
The cop car is not to be deterred, however, and is again right along side within minutes. Someone in the cop car is heard over a loudspeaker, "Pull off and stop or I shoot!"
Bess slumps down, way down and hopes the bullets miss her if it comes to that, which is looking inevitable given Robert's attitude.
But, surprisingly, he does pull over and stop, leaping from the truck and beligerantly walking to the police car parked in front of the truck.
Bess allows herself to sit up just enough to see out the bug-spattered windshield and hears:
"You are busted, fella! Going 80 in a 55 miles an hour zone! You are soooo busted!"
"You think so, twerp?"
"I am Travis McGee, a high ranking police officer with the Chappaqua police force, and I'm giving you a ticket, a big ticket, with the highest fine allowed!"
Bess is praying, "Oh please don't let him hit the cop! Please, please!"
Travis proceeds to write out the ticket and shoves it at Robert, who spits on the ground as he heads back to his truck, opens the door, gets in, opens the glove compartment and tosses it in with what appears to Bess to be a series of such tickets, all crammed together.

"I guess I showed him!" Robert says proudly as he again starts the truck. Bess just sits there ramrod straight, looking ahead, not responding.
"Hey, babe, ya wanna hear a great tape?"
She remains silent.
He shoves a tape into the tape deck and the sound that results sounds more like squealing pigs than music, and the words make Bess' skin crawl:

I hadda baby, a titful baby, a baby with long blond hair, but I hadda kill her because she screwed my friend, and now she ain't nowhere...."

"Cool, huh? That's me singing.....I'm gonna be a country-western star. That's my demo tape. Gonna get famous and make a cool kazillion..."
The song continues, becoming more sadistic as the sentences go on, sung in the high rasping tones of someone half out of his mind.

MEANWHILE:

Jerry and Eleanor have witnessed the confrontation between Robert and Travis McGee and are now but a few car lengths behind the truck in which Bess is unfortunately riding.
"I don't think Bess has met Travis McGee," Eleanor comments.
"We'll have to fill her in tomorrow. Of all the idiots in law enforcement, they had to be stopped by him. I was expecting a physical confrontation...."
"What would you have done if there had been one?"
"I would have somehow gotten Bess out of the bucket of bolts truck and driven her home."
"I hope this teaches her a lesson about getting into vehicles with strangers. I told her to have them meet at a local coffee shop, even volunteered to drive her there myself, but nope, she had to go on this 'big date' into Manhattan. Well, Jer, let's keep following and see what happens next."

BACK IN THE TRUCK:

The hideous music plays on until Bess can stand it no longer. Reaching over, she pushes the reject button and the tape comes flying out.
"HEY!" Robert objects, then changes the subject, "Couldn't get reservations at the Four Seasons, babe, hope you don't mind eating at my Mom's house. She's a killer cook!"
"Oh whatever...."
Bess can see that the neighborhood they're now in is getting shabbier, and grimmaces. "Hey, Robert," she asks the question she's been dying to ask for the past hour, "Why don't you look like you did in the picture you posted on the dating website?"
"I was in the picture!"
"You were hauling a big fish onto a yacht. You don't look like you did in that picture."
"Ohhh, that was my boss! I was in the picture, back further, gutting fish!"
"Your boss? What business is he in?"
"Sanitation! He's the biggest contractor in the area."
"What's your job?"
"Just got promoted! I go around and sweep up the junk that falls out of the cans and dumpsters after the truck has picked them up. You wouldn't believe how messy some people are! They overstuff the cans and then I have to get the garbage that falls on the street. People are pigs!"
"Oh indeed!" Bess says between clenched teeth.
"My boss said that next year I'll be promoted to driver........that's the prestige job!" he tells her happily.
"Hmmmm," Bess makes the sound as the truck turns down a street with ramshackle houses flanking both sides, an empty lot midway down the block being used for a dead vehicle repository, a convenient place to toss old mattresses and boxsprings, and if it had been lighter out Bess might have seen more debris, but the thought doesn't linger in her mind long as they park in the front yard of an old house with definite structural challenges.

No sooner does Robert turn off the motor of his truck than a light goes on over the front door that is flung open, a very obese woman standing on the porch, who, when she sees her son emerge from the truck emits a loud screech and runs toward him (at least as fast as a 325 pound woman can.)
"You made it! But where is your date? You said you had a hot date, where is she?"
"Still in the truck, Ma!"
"Why cain't she get out, is she so stupid she doesn't know how to turn the handle?"
"I dunno, Ma. She ain't exactly what...."
He doesn't finish the sentence, as both of them see Bess get out, or, more accurately, fall out of the truck. She turns her ankle in the process, and hobbles toward Robert and his 'Ma.'
"Well, well, don't we look all dressed up like Mrs. Astor's horse!" the older woman growls.
By now Bess is on autopilot, her will to impress totally gone, her only thought being how to put an end to this nightmare.
"You here to steal my baby boy from me?" 'Ma' goes on, "You little tramp! Where'd he get you, from a bar stool at the lounge at the Sheraton hotel?"
This sounds familiar to Bess. Oh yes, William. Just the thought of William and the big house on Winding Willow makes Bess yearn to return and throw herself on his mercy.

MEANWHILE, Jer & El:

"Oh good merciful heavens!" Eleanor exclaims as she and Jerry watch the scene playing out in front of the ranshackle house.
"Park across the street," she instructs Jerry, who does so then comments, "Think Bess has suffered enough? Should we rescue her?"
"Close. Very close. Let's give her another ten minutes or so, then go in...."

IN THE HOUSE:

Bess stumbles over a huge dog as she is led inside the house. As her eyes adjust to the dim lights, she sees what appears to be 100 cats draped over every surface in the living room. She looks down at the fine dress she borrowed from Eleanor and resolves not to sit down anywhere, not anywhere.
The sound of vehicles is plainly heard out front. Bess turns to see who it could be, and when several men enter the house and shove money at 'Ma' in exchange for good sized wrapped packages of something white, Bess wonders.....
"Grub's on!" 'Ma' tosses a big platter of cold-cuts on the kitchen table after shooing off several cats, then upends an entire loaf of Wonder Bread where one of the cats has been just a few second before. Bess' stomach lurches.
"Miracle Whip or Hellmans?" 'Ma' asks.
Bess can see that opened jars of both are on a counter, a big calico cat licking the rim of the Miracle Whip.
"Just plain," Bess finally says something to this horror of a woman, who scoffs, "So your lady has a fancy accent, does she, Bobby?"
"Yeah, Ma, she's a looker!"
"I said she sounds like she's trying to be fancy...."
"Yeah, Ma, she's a looker alright!"
Bess realizes that Robert has serious mental deficiencies and feels superior to him, smarter, which is a unique feeling for her, the first time it's happened in her lifetime.
"Can I freshen up in the rest room?" she asks the older woman.
"Ohh listen to that! 'Freshen up'?"
"Please."
"Over there! Why don't you talk like the rest of us and just say you gotta pee? My don't we put on airs?"
Bess goes through a curtain that's hung between the kitchen and the bathroom, and sees the filthiest place she has ever laid eyes on. It also contains floor to ceiling wrapped whitish packages, the same as the ones Robert's 'Ma' handed out in exchange for money a few minutes earlier.
She knows she's seen packages like this before and searches her memory banks for just where, then realizes that she's seen them on the News on TV. Something to do with the police raiding a house, carrying off these bundles, the people being handcuffed and led away.
This does it! She decides she must get away from this awful place, but how? Will they allow her to walk out the front door, and if she does, how does she get back to Winding Willow? Does she have a cell phone with her? No. She wonders if she can use the phone in this awful house. Even if she succeeds in contacting someone at the big house, how can she describe the location of where she is so that they can come get her? Her head is spinning.

She walks back into the kitchen and gives it a shot. "May I please use your phone?" she asks.
"Wha for?!" 'Ma' looks at her suspiciously.
"I told my Dad I'd phone in right about now, and he gets so worried if I don't. One time he even sent the Cops out looking for me!"
Mention of the word 'Cops' sends a look of fear into 'Ma's' eyes and she waves Bess over to a little table upon which is a dial phone, which kind Bess has never seen before. She picks up the receiver and a trickle of common sense tells her to put her finger in the holes by the numbers, so she does and almost faints with relief when she hears William's voice answer.
"BESS!" he says when he hears her voice, "Where are you?"
She turns and asks, "Where am I? Dad wants to know..."
No answer from Robert or 'Ma.'
She hears William say, "Bess, Eleanor and Jerry have tailed you. They can't be far. I'll call Eleanor's cell phone and tell her to get you from wherever it is you are, which, young lady, may I remind you, I warned you against going off like that with a stranger...."
"Thanks Dad!" she hangs up and finds the atmosphere more hostile than it was before. 'Ma' is glaring at her, with slitty eyes.
Bess feels that she's in danger. The feeling is getting stronger the longer she's in this house. She tries to casually walk to the front door so that if Eleanor and Jerry are nearby they'll see where she is, but 'Ma' grabs her arm and growls, "Ya called the Cops! You little bitch!" and is about to strike Bess across the face when Jerry and Eleanor come barging into the house.
'Ma' freezes in fear. Robert is so busy scarfing down cold cuts and Wonder Bread he barely notices, and when Bess yells, "El! Jerry!" in relief, they flank her and whisk her out of the house, across the front yard, and into the car the parked across the street.
"Get in!" Eleanor says as she sees 'Ma' coming out of the house, thundering with all 325 pounds toward them. They leap in and the car quickly drives away.

Jerry drives as Eleanor sits in the back seat with Bess, who, now that the danger is over, has begun to shake. Eleanor ponders whether it would be wise to say 'I told you so,' but figures it unncessary.
"El, you were right!" is all Bess says through her sobbing.
Eleanor puts her arm around the shaking girl and says gently, "Let's go home, Bess."
Bess wipes her eyes and echoes, "Home!"

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