Part 119: The Morning After the Night Before......by Coralynn & Terri

Morning has broken.
The early sun highlights the dew on the grass as the town comes to life on this Sunday with the sounds of a few automobiles starting up as people go to early Church services, dogs are barking lazily, and a collective "my head hurts" gathers in the air over several residences.
In the big house Rosamond is clutching an icebag to her temples as she raids the bathroom cabinets for pain killers.
In the castle next door, Daniel and Henry8 are having trouble focusing their eyes and standing up for more than a minute at a time.
"Golllllll dang it! Henry!" Daniel moans, "What did you put in those drinks?"
"Ask me later when every word you says doesn't make my head pound harder," Henry suggests.

Over in the blue house, Bethia awakens clear headed, but dreads her encounter with Grace, who is passed out in the bedroom next to hers.
"Thank goodness the children stayed overnight with little Will," she thinks, "They didn't witness Grace's shameful behaviour on the dancefloor and later in the bushes."
She dresses and goes out into the kitchen to put on the coffee pot.
She hears the coffee drip down into the carafe, then also notices sound coming from Grace's room.
"Ooooooooooooooooo," is basically what she hears.
She waits a few minutes, then goes to the door of the room and, pushing it open ever so slightly, looks in.
Grace is lying on the bed on her stomach, moaning.
She enters the room and switches on the overhead light.
"AHhhhhhhhh!!" is the new sound Grace is making.
"Had a good time last night did you Grace?" Bethia asks, trying not to sound confrontational.
Grace tries to focus her eyes on Bethia but fails. Since she recognizes the voice, she answers,
"It was fine."
Bethia is thinking, "Fine?! Fine?! Is that all she has to say for herself??"
"Did you enjoy the dancing?" is her next question.
"I never dance. Dancing is of the devil," Grace says sternly.
"Hmmmmmm," Bethia wonders if Grace has short term memory loss or is she one of those people whose memory blacks out after drinking alcholic beverages.
She decides to test it.
"How did you like it when we did what we did to Daniel's hair?" she tries to sound jolly.
"Daniel's hair?" by now Grace is sitting on the side of the bed with a puzzled expression, "I don't remember that."
"Wasn't it amazing when John fell face first into the soup tureen?"
"John? Soup toureen?" Grace is obviously drawing a blank.
That does it; the woman obviously has no recollection of the night before. She has a hangover, but she doesn't know what a hangover is nor how one is acquired.
Bethia tries to be patient with her. "What do you remember from last night, Grace?" she asks as she takes the other woman's hands and holds them.
"My dress was not covering my bosoms but William said it was fine, that it wouldn't lead to sin," Grace said confidently, "Then I just must have sat down and watched the rest of the party, because I didn't do anything or say anything after that."
Bingo!! Bethia knows for sure now that Grace is a black-out drunk.
This is a problem. How will she manage to keep Grace away from the sauce when the other woman seems so unaware of which drinks contain alcohol?
Plus, another big problem, Ludwig/Luke lives just upstairs, and he must think he's acquired a bedmate.


Grace pulls her hands away from Bethia and rubs her temples, "My head hurts."
"I'll get you a painkiller," Bethia says cheerfully, finding a bottle of Tylenol in the medicine cabinet, "Here......take 2. Or better, take 3."
She hands the pills to Grace with a glass of water.
Grace has no idea what these are and looks at them suspiciously.
"Put them in your mouth and rinse them down with the water," Bethia patiently instructs.
Grace does as she's told, much to Bethia's relief.

Usually by this time of the morning Ludwig is making loud musical sounds in his upper flat, but there is no sound coming from there. Bethia hopes he sleeps all day so that Grace doesn't have to deal with him. Bethia figures that Ludwig probably doesn't suffer from blackouts, more's the pity.

At that very moment, Vinnie and Sheila are sitting at their kitchen table.
"I tell ya, Sheila, I think dose people have serious problems," Vinnie is telling her, "Dey bleach each other's hair at parties, dey make out in the bushes, and by the time I got dere it was like a bad B movie!!"
"Wish I'd been there," Sheila complains, "Sounds like fun to me. Too bad I had to sit with old lady Stephens last night. Next time there's a party over at William's house I'm going to clear my calendar!! Let someone else take my shift."
Sheila is in sore need of excitement and regrets not having been able to attend the party, weird or not. In fact, weird sounds like fun to her. She sighs. Oh well, maybe next time.
Vinnie finishes off his cup of coffee, "Dos people are nuts!!! Some of dem should be locked up in de mental ward!"

Of course none of them are locked up in a mental ward, though Daniel is still locked up in Henry8's dungeon, which is perhaps the most cushy of all dungeons ever constructed.
Daniel lies on his bed and stretches. "Oooowwwww, even that hurts!" he announces to Henry as Henry brings him a cup of coffee.
"Drink this! It takes like swill at first, but gets better as you get used to it," Henry says as he puts the cup on Daniel's table.
Daniel quickly drains the cup.
"What's the deal with Rose anyway?" he asks Henry.
Henry thinks a few moments; tries to bring up every memory he has of Rosamond, but it takes him so long that he falls asleep in the process.
"Wake UP!" Daniel prods him with his foot, "Tell me about Rose!!"
"She didn't want to have my baby," Henry says, then falls back asleep.
Daniel scratches his head. What was that?!

Ludwig is slowly coming into consciousness. For a moment he thinks this is just an ordinary day, then it all floods back: that encounter with Grace in the bushes! He sits bolt upright and relives it in his mind. This past week has been fortuitous; first he reunites with old pal William, gets new clothes, a haircut, forms a jazz band, and now........now......he has his own mistress! To make it all even better, she lives downstairs! Ludwig smiles and goes to his piano. Soon the sound of "Moonlight Sonata" is filling his flat and can even be heard downstairs.

"Oh-oh," Bethia thinks, "Ludwig is up. Now what's going to happen? Should I go up there and tell him that Grace remembers nothing? I know.......she and I will go over to the big house straight away. We have to pick up her children anyway. Yes, we'll leave as soon as I can manage to get her dressed. She keeps collapsing on the bed. This is going to be some kind of day!"


Bethia calls for a Cab to arrive in 15 minutes, then goes into Grace's room, where Grace has again fallen asleep. She pulls her into a sitting position, then struggles a sundress onto her unwilling form, slips clogs onto her feet, and tries to get her to stand up and walk.

She hears the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs and soon there's loud knocking on the door. She deposits Grace on the couch and opens the door a crack.
Sure enough: Ludwig, with the kind of smile on his face which can mean just one thing: Ludwig remembers.
"Not now, Luke!!" she tells him sternly, "Grace is not feeling well, and we're going over to the big house as soon as the Cab arrives."
"I'll go, too!" he says cheerfully, thinking this has to be good news for Bethia to hear.
Instead she frowns, "NO! We may see you later, but not now!" and slams the door shut.

Ludwig is confused. He goes back up to his own flat and soon sees Bethia put Grace into a cab and enter it herself. Grace appears to be like a rag doll, all floppy and loose.
The Cab roars off.
Ludwig feels dejected. He goes to his piano and begins playing aimlessly. He wants his muse, he needs his muse, why is Bethia keeping her from him??

As Bethia and Grace exit the cab in front of the house, they see Rosamond sitting on the front porch looking the worse for wear.
Rosamond looks up at Bethia and asks, "Why didn't you tell me, why didn't you warn me that the man romancing me was Daniel! You KNEW!"
Bethia had dreaded this confrontation, but knew it would come.
"I told John I would keep the secret," she tells Rosamond, "and yes, I suspected it could have been Daniel, but I wasn't positive. I can understand why you're angry at me, though. I wish I had told you."
"I'm angry at myself, too, Beth, and at John and at Daniel, not so much at you. They put you in a bad position. No, it's MEN I'm angry with. Every man I get involved with turns out to be a rat!" and she dips her head into her hands and cries.
Bethia pulls Rosamond to her feet and the three women enter the house.

John is sitting at the table drinking coffee. He looks up at Rosamond uncertainly.
She ignores him and marches over to the coffee pot.
"Rose?" he tries to get her attention.
She continues to ignore him.
Grace, who has walked about as much as she is capable, collapses onto a chair at the other end of the table, puts her head down and prompty falls asleep.
William comes into the kitchen from the back of the house. He has on his new jogging suit and is smiling with satisfaction that he was able to make it around a one-mile route.
"Aaahhhhhhh, this is the life!" he says happily, then sees Grace sitting there.
He goes over to Bethia and Rosamond and asks in a muted voice, "What does she have to say for herself this morning?"
"She remembers nothing," Bethia tells them all. "Apparently she gets wild when she drinks, but then her memory blacks out and the next day she doesn't recall a thing. She has no idea she had assignations with Ludwig, or should I call him Luke? Whatever I call him, he is going to be trouble. He, of course, remembers everything, and even came to her door this morning to greet his lady love. I sent him away."

William groans. "You had to fetch her here from 1650 Southold, didn't you, Bethia? You yanked her out of her timeframe and she is in no way capable of handling this one she finds herself in. I am not pleased. If anything really terrible happens to Grace, it's on your head, Beth!!"
Bethia lets out an audible sigh. "I had no idea how incapable she was," she pleads, "How could I know what a disaster she would be? I had to save her from Caleb, who would have poisoned her the way he did his other wives. What would you have done in the same situation, William?" Now she's getting annoyed with William's censure.

"Sorry, Beth, I know you meant well," William had to admit, "But you will have to keep a close eye on her. How are you going to keep Luke from staging a repeat performance of last night, though?"

Rosamond interrupts with, "Let him suffer, what the hell, men are dogs!!!" looking right at John, and with that she marches upstairs to her room.

As Rosamond goes up the stairs, Eleanor is coming down.
"Well!" she proclaims as she sees the others gathered around the table, "What have we here?"
She goes to where Grace is slumped over, her head on her arms on the table, lifts up her head by the hair, then lets it thump heavily back down onto the table.
"We seem to have a resident slut again. Who knew?!"

Bethia is squirming in her chair, and motions Eleanor over to her, then says softly, "Grace has black outs of memory when she drinks, and only 2 sips will send her into wild-woman mode, it appears. She gets like another person, but the next day..........she has no idea what she did."
"Why are you whispering?!" Eleanor laughs, "That one is out for the day!"

William just sits there glowering. His house rules have been badly breached, and it appears that he can do nothing about it. This feeling of not being in control is most unpleasant.

Changing the subject, Eleanor asks William what he has planned for his cooking show the next day.
"I'm going to show how many interesting things can be thrown onto a grill," he tells them all, "Some things no one has ever thought to put on a grill. It will be a good show!"
"How about what can be thrown on a spit?" Eleanor laughs, "Mayhap Daniel, for starters. I'd love to see that creep turning slowly over a fire. John, you really have one hell of a twin brother!"
John frowns, "And I feel responsible for letting him loose on the rest of you. It wasn't supposed to go like that. HE was supposed to spend two days passed out in my room, not me!"
William wants solutions.
"What are we going to DO with these two troublesome people that John and Bethia have presented us with? You know Henry will not be able to keep Daniel in that dungeon for long. Those two could be out hitting the bars together this very night! And," gesturing toward the end of the table where Grace is still passed out, "That one needs a keeper!"
Bethia mulls it over in her mind and suggests,
"I could hire a sitter for her. A woman. I can't keep living there forever. I could tell Grace that she's a Nanny for the children, but I'd gladly pay her handsomely for keeping Grace under control and keeping her away from alcohol and from Luke, who thinks he's found the love of his life or something. He would have to live just upstairs from Grace, too. He even came down this morning to see her. I sent him away. I'll have to go to an Agency tomorrow and hire someone."

"Good thinking, Beth!" Eleanor nods her head in agreement, "Last night it was Ludwig or Luke or whoever he is, and tomorrow it could be a complete football team or......."
Bethia shudders at the thought.


second part: by Terri


Eleanor turns to John. "And just what do you intend to do about your brother?"
John is at a loss for words. William answers for him.
"Obviously we can't send Daniel back in time. He is stuck in this time frame and place." He looks sternly at John. "And it is not Henry's responibility to watch or care for him. That is like asking a fox to guard a henhouse. No, John, it looks like you have acquired a roomie! And you will have the misery of dealing with Rosamond. It will now be YOUR job to watch your brother. And to make sure Rosamond doesn't kill him."
John gets a worried look on his face. "I don't think Rosamond wants to kill him. And therein lies my problem."
William leaves the room. John follows him. "William, you are older and wiser than me.
What shall I do? I think I am in love with Rosamond. But she was with my brother. I don't know if I can get past this."
William looks sadly at John. "Maybe SHE doesn't want to get past it. According to Eleanor, those two were inseparable while you were incapacitated. And THEREIN
lies the problem. Mayhap she is in love with HIM and doesn't even know it. No, John, this is a problem the three of you will have to work out amongst you. I cannot help."
Eleanor overhears the exchange. "I have a piece of advice for the both of you.
Lock up the whiskey cabinet, lock up the guns. There's no telling what Rosamond will do. By the way, call the boys downtown at Bloomindale's and have them lock up the high heeled shoes. Rosamond is hurt, she is fed up. No telling what she' s gonna do."

Henry opens up the door to the dungeon. "I don't know, Daniel. This here stuff says light ash brown and keep on for 20 minutes and rinse until the water runs clear. Are you going to do a patch test?"
Daniel grabs the box. "There's no way I am going to spend another day with hair as white as dear old dad."
Henry sits on the edge of the bed. "I hear tell William told John that you are HIS responsibility and he can't send you anywhere. And that John and you will have to share a room."
Daniel picks up a razor and slathers his face with shave cream. He raises an eyebrow. "Really? This could be interesting. Well, well, John...let the games begin!"

Rosamond sits despairingly on the bed. William has just told her that Daniel is moving in and she has to make the best of it. How can I ever look him in the eye again? I went down there last night and made a complete idiot of myself. I only wish I could remember what I said. She smoothes the covers of the bed and remembers how wonderful Daniel had been. Then she thinks of the distress on John's face. How can twins be so different? Rosamond is afraid..because it was not John who keeps creeping into her daydreams...it's that rogue, Daniel.

Part 120: Revenge Best Served up Cold....this one is Freezing!......by Terri


Rosamond still has a splitting headache. Oooh, maybe it was too much salt on the margaritas, she thinks. Next time I will switch to Tequila Sunrises.
NOW what am I going to do? Both of them under the same roof? And what will little Will think? Two Uncle Johns?
The more Rosamond thinks about it, the madder she gets. I need an outlet! She goes through her purse and pulls out her credit cards. She calls the automatic bank system. All cards are maxed out. She sits on the bed in a huff. Wait a minute!
She leans over the stair bannister and hears John's voice coming from the kitchen.
Daniel is locked up safely in Henry's dungeon.
Quickly, Rosamond goes to John' room and tries the door. It opens with ease.
What a mess! Clothes are strewn everywhere. John never kept it this way--must be that...that....ooh, I can't even think of a word bad enough for HIM! Carefully Rosamond opens John's underwear drawer. At least HE wears them! She finds John's wallet with his Citibank Visa and his Bank One MasterCard...What? No Bloomingdale's? No Bergdorf Goodman? Oh, well, this will do. At least there is no photo ID to this. Besides, he owes me. The mental anguish, the humiliation...
Rosamond changes into some casual clothes. She puts on her Reeboks. May as well be comfortable. Revenge will be sweet..and expensive.
She carefully sneaks out the front door. There sits John's Corvette. Rosamond is steaming. She bends down and lets the air out of all four tires. That should slow him down for a while. He should thank his lucky stars I don't put sugar in his gas tank!
Rosamond slips into the seat of her Miata, turns the key and the car roars to life. She puts it into reverse and backs over William's rosebushes. That will get him for being so stupid about the fictitious name. She knocks over Bethia's birdfeeder, puts the car in first gear and burns rubber all the way down the driveway.

John and Eleanor look out the window. "Oh, there goes Rosamond. I would have thought for sure she would have been horizontal all day with an icepack on her head and cucumber slices on her eyes."
John looks concerned. "Where do you think she's headed?"
Eleanor just waves her hand. "Don't worry about it. She is probably headed for the beach. She usually goes there to relax. Lord knows she has no money to go shopping. And all her credit cards are maxed out."
John says, "Well, THAT'S a relief."

Rosamond parks in a covered parking garage. She starts at Saks Fifth Avenue. Let's see..purses...lingerie...cosmetics....perfume...SHOES!
She heads for the shoe department. The salesclerk hurries over to her. "May I help you?" Rosamond looks at the shoes, picks one up and asks, "Do you have this in a 6 and a half" "Why, yes!" "What colors" "Well, let's see..there's fuscia, camel, cerise, chartreuse....teal..."
Rosamond says, "Never mind! I will take one of every color you have..and those shoes...and those shoes...."
The salesman is scrambling to fill her order. By the time she's done, she has close to one hundred pairs of shoes. "Where shall I take these to, Ma'am?"
Rosamond smiles. "Just take them to Package Pickup and I will pick them up at the end of the day!"
She whips John's credit card out faster than Billy the Kid.
The salesclerk smiles, mostly at the nice fat commission he had made in less than five minutes. "Thank you, Mrs. Gwinnett. Hope to see you soon!"
Rosamond next stops at the fur department at Bloomingdale's. She tries on a full length white fox coat with a lynx color. The saleswoman whose name tag reads 'Veronica' remarks, "That looks positively stunning on you. Is this an anniversary present?" Rosamond just smiles.
"No, my husband upset me and he said to buy myself a little something to make up for it. I never knew such fur could come from a rat."
Veronica is shocked.
Ma'am, this is not RAT! This is white fox!" Rosamond looks her dead in the eye. "No, the rat is my husband!"
The salesclerk smiles. "Oh, I get it...the cheating bastard, huh?" She leans forward conspiratorially. " Who was it---the secretary? The lonely widow next door? Your sister?"
Rosamond frowns. "No, it was his twin brother." Veronica's mouth drops open.
Rosamond says, "I'll take it..just send it down to Package Pickup. And if his twin comes near me again, I'll be back in for that ermine coat!"
Rosamond works her way through Bergdorf Goodman's, Bloomingdales, Saks Fifth Avenue and on to Neiman Marcus.
She stops off at the perfume counter. "Let me have a bottle of your most expensive perfume. Damn the cost!"
Everywhere she goes, she whips out John's cards and signs her name, "Rosamond Gwinnett." And every time she signs, it's another stab in the back to Mr. John Gwinnett.
For her grand finale, she stops at Victoria's Secret. "Let me see a catalogue, please. And do you have a Sharpie marker?" As the incredulous salesgirl hands her the marker, wide-eyed, Rosamond goes through the catalogue, circling just about everything in the book. "This is what I want. In size 5. Send it to my house in Chappaqua." With that she puts the pen down with a flourish. "Now I will start picking out what I want in the store...starting with the bath oils..powder..those garter belts..thigh high nylons...that teddy...."
Finally Rosamond feels satisfied. Besides that, John' cards are maxed out...all ten of them. She gets the car out of the parking garage and goes to each respective store to the package pickup. What she can't squeeze in the car, she makes arrangements to have delivered. To her and no one else.
That's what happens when dumped-on, lied to, used women get the blues.


John sighs. He goes to his room. Guess I'll take a swim, just try to clear my head from last night's events. He is still pretty hung over from the massive Xanax overdose that Daniel had slipped him. Even the Allman Brothers didn't help!
What went so wrong? Daniel was supposed to fade into oblivion. All I tried to do was bail his sorry butt out of getting perforated and this is how he repays me...by taking my woman away from me. What am I saying? Rosamond is not my woman. I never gave her any sign that I wanted her..well, she knew I WANTED her but not that I wanted to marry her.
John starts rummaging around in his dresser drawer for his swimtrunks. Something doesn't look right....something is missing! John begins hunting all through the drawer. My wallet feels really..flat. John opens it up and comes up with a bunch of plastic sleeves..empty!
Damn that Daniel! John marches right down to Henry's dungeon.
Daniel is lounging on the bed, watching an adult movie from Henry's vast collection.
As he sees John approach, he grabs the VCR remote and clicks it off.
"What's up, Bro?" Daniel grins. "Everything OK. Have you come to pick me up, bunkie?"
John kicks Daniel's feet off the bed. "OK....gone! Would you like to explain?"
Daniel gets a hopeful look on his face. "Rosamond left you? Maybe she's out getting an apartment for me...OW!"
John has grabbed Daniel by the legs and thrown him off the bed.
"My credit cards! They are gone! Where have you put them? You better not have used them!"
Daniel gets up off the floor. "I don't know WHAT you are talking about! Credit cards?
What are they?"
All of a sudden, John realizes the unthinkable. He leaves Daniel to his movie and goes to get Eleanor. He finds her at the computer. Out of breath, John asks, "Eleanor, what did you say about Rosamond and her credit cards?" he gasps.
Eleanor arches her brows. "That she is maxed out. Can't charge for at least a month. Why?"
John gets pale. "Can you access my credit card accounts on the computer?"
"Well, sure, if you give me the account numbers, your PIN and your mother's maiden name."
John frantically accesses the Bank One website. "Here. It's 7740-5504-9023-3422. PIN number is 2494. Mother's maiden name is Stafford. Quick!"
Eleanor's fingers fly over the keyboard. The figures shoot up over the screen like a marquee on a Broadway opening. Eleanor covers her mouth with her hands.
"Bloomingdale's.....10,000.00 all charged today."
Her fingers find the Bergdorf Goodman's...20,0000......Neiman-Marcus....Saks...the same story. All charged today and all signed by Rosamond Gwinnett.
John is livid. He slams out of the room and down to his car to find all four tires flat.
Eleanor looks out of the window and sees John kicking his tire--all four of them.
Eleanor smiles and says softly, "You go, girl!"



John keeps kicking his tires. The expletives hang in the air and drift over the pool like smoke from the Clinton's b-b-q.
He stomps back in the house. "Give me the phone! I need to call AAA. That little b...witch...let the air out of my tires!"
Bethia looks up. "Are you sure?"
John swares. "Of course I am sure! Do you think I just fell off a turnip truck? They are as flat as pancakes--all four of them. Michelins, too!"
Bethia gives John a dirty look. "No, are you sure it was Rosamond?"
John explodes. "Who else would it be? Who else hates me so much right now?"
"Daniel?"
"Let me ask you this, then--who maxed out my credit cards to the tune of over ,000.00?"
Bethia's mouth drops open but no words came out.
"I've got to go to the department stores RIGHT NOW and put a stop to this unauthorized spending! Now--WHERE IS THAT DAMN PHONE NUMBER?"
Bethia gets indignant. "OK, OK, but don't take it out on me! It's not my fault!"
John gets sarcastic. "I beg to differ with you, Goodwife Adams! You were with me every step of the way when we pulled his sorry butt out of Southold. And you had to haul that simpleton Betty Boop back with you, when you should have helped me keep an eye on Daniel! Now he's gone and stolen..Hello! Hello! AAA? I've got four flat tires...that's right, four....it's not funny....yeah, a woman was involved...no, I wasn't cheating on her....NEVER MIND THAT! Just get me on the road like in the next five minutes! An hour? Oh, that's just GREAT! Yeah, yeah...well, where ELSE am I going to be?"
John slams the phone down. "Bethia, can I use your car?"
Bethia gets nasty. "No, you may NOT! I need it. I may have to haul Grace to the ER room to get her stomach pumped if she doesn't come out of this alcoholic funk she is in. You can wait. What can possibly happen in the next hour?"
John snarls, "Oh, just a few more mink coats and the entire shoe section of Saks Fifth Avenue!"

Rosamond speeds down the highway, secure in the fact that she has finally gotten satisfaction and repayment for all the grief she endured. That's what John gets for not keeping a better eye on his brother. It's really hot out. I'd love a drink--someplace where I won't be bothered. I'd better lay low for a few hours until everything simmers down. Maybe I'lll stay away all night. Let John worry about me..then he won't be so mad about the tires. Of course, when those charges start rolling in, that will be a different story. Oh, well...I'll worry about that when the time comes.
Rosamond pulls off the road into a dirt parkinglot off Hwy 41. "Dew Drop Inn". Nice name, I'll bet I can get some peace and quiet there. If I can find a parking place with all these Harleys and pickup trucks!



John curtly thanks the AAA repair man, jumps in his car and peels out of the driveway.
The repairman says, "Jeez, buddy, I don't know what she did to ya...but good luck!"

John zooms down the highway until he finally hits downtown Manhattan. He parks in the parking garage and goes right into the credit department at Bloomingdale's.
"I'd like to see the manager, please."
The manager comes out. "Yes, what can I do for you?"
"I'm John Gwinnett...'"
The credit manager is more than anxious to please. "Oh, yes...Mr.Gwinnett..your wife was in here shopping earlier...I must say, she has extravagant taste..but very tasteful, very stylish!"
"
She's not my wife. She stole my credit cards and charged up a storm."
The credit manager blanches. "You mean you were burglarized?"
"No, no, it's a ...woman I know who is posing as my wife."
The credit manger is flustered. "The only way I can stop this is if you report the theft to the police, have the young woman arrested and charged with grand theft."
The manager reaches for the phone. John stops his hand on the receiver. "No police. No. I will handle this in my own way. But please put a hold on my card until further notice."
As John turns to go, the credit manager said, "But you do know you will be liable for the charges incurred today."
John says over his shoulder. "Oh, I'll make her pay for it...one way or another!"
John visits every department store that had a missing credit card. Same story, same solution.

Rosamond walks into the Dew Drop Inn. She's wearing her new spandex jeans and tank top. She squints until her eyes grow accustomed to the dim light. Sitting on a barstool at the bar, she says, "A Tequila Sunrise, please." She looks around.
Oh, Lord! Redneck Heaven! The place is full of leatherclad bikers and dudes in Levis and Stetson hats. On the jukebox, Willie Nelson is singing about a mental condition..."Crazy". Yeah, crazy, that's what I am for ending up here.
She sits there trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. A good looking cowboy comes up and sits next to her at the bar. "Hey, hon," he drawls. "I guess you are the purtiest thin' I seen in here in a coon's age."
Rosamond sits there, ordered another Tequila Sunrise, turns to "Tex" and says,
"Is that a package of Lifesavers in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
Tex gets a puzzled look on his face. "No, ma'am I don't have any Lifesavers."
Rosamond just smiles. Cute but dumb as a post. "You're not too smart, are you?
I like that in a man!"
Tex pushes his hat back with his thumb and says, "Uh, yes, thank'ee ma'am. Can I buy you a beer?" Rosamond slams the tequila back.
"Yeah, sure you can. I'll have a Bud."

John is headed back towards Chappaqua when he passes the Dew Drop Inn.
Next to a Ford pickup and a Dodge Ram is a red Miata with the license plate that says, "TRI-ME" Oh, yeah, that's Rosamond's car.
He spins into the parking lot, gravel and dirt flying all over the place, slams his car into park and jumps out. He flings back the door. There on the dance floor is Rosamond and Tex. Rosamond and Tex are doing something like he had seen in that chick flick the girls liked so well...."Dirty Dancing". Rosamond is draped all over Tex. John walks up to Tex and taps him on the shoulder. "Buzz off, slicker!"
Tex snarles. Tex is quite inebriated and Rosamond fared no better.
John taps a little harder and Tex turns. "Get your own girl, this little filly is with me."
Rosamond's eyes are closed as she dances in Tex's arms utterly unaware that John is there.
John speaks low to Tex. "That's my wife you're with. Now we can do this nice or not so nice. Just walk quickly and quietly back to your beer and no one will get hurt."
Tex says, "I think the lady wants to stay with me."
John whispers, "OK, I'll let you in on a little secret. My wife is cheating on me with the entire band of Brooks and Dunn. She has a scorching case of herpes. Just found out about it myself!" For emphasis, John scratches himself. Tex recoils."Found out about it?" John grimaces, "Yeah, in the worst way possible."
Tex hands Rosamond over to John. She is still totally unaware that the man she's now dancing with is John. John literally dances Rosamond towards the door.
Tex calls out, "I'm in love with ya, baby...and I don't even know your name. Call me when the penicillin kicks in!"
Rosamond opens her eyes into the cold eyes of John Gwinnett. She turns to run but he catches her by the hair and leads her out the door.
The bartender looks up. "Hey...you can't do that!"
John says over his shoulder, "Who's gonna stop me?"
The bartender says, "Oh, about 20 other guys in this place."
John says, "This piece of trailer trash cheated on me with my brother, ran up bills on my credit card, trashed my car...and shot my best hunting dog."
The bartender raises both his hands, palm out. "Have at it, dude!"


Who's Cheatin' Who.........by Terri

The cute cowboy walks back inside the Dew Drop Inn. He puts a quarter in the jukebox and plays "Who's Cheatin' Who."
Hey, Bobby Joe, I'll take another longneck. Make it a Bud."
Bobby Joe sits the beer in front of the cowboy. "Do you think you should be drinking that much, Billy Bob?"
Billy Bob just holds his beer up and says, "No one calls me that anymore. They just call me Tex because I'm from Waco--almost to the border. My Aunt Tessie married this lawyer fella from out East and he took her back to this here county. Well, Tessie had no kids and I was always her fav'rite so she left me a right fine pretty little piece of prop'ty up county. Westchester. Chappaqua is the nearest town. Hey, Bobby Joe, there was a fine-looking piece of woman sittiing in the bar and struck up a conversation with me. Happen to know who that was before her old man came in and drug her away? She didn't seem all that happy with him. Acted like she was runnin' away from him. Got a name to go with that angel's face?"
Bobby Joe leans over the counter and motions for Tex to come closer. He says, like he's thinking out loud, "These credit card slips are really invaluable. It gives names. I may just leave them on the counter and see if I can sort them out later.
Ooops--here's one!" He lays the credit card slip on the bar top.
Bobby Joe grins at Tex and he grins back. Tex holds it up toward the light.
Hmmmm--Rosamond Gwinnett! But the credit card is issued to a John Gwinnett.
Reckon that was her old man?"
Bobby Joe just shrugs.
"Got an address to go with that name, Bobby Joe?"
"No, not even a phone number."
"Heard him tell ya she had some sort of social disease."
Bobby Joe motions Tex towards him. "I heard she messed around with his brother.
Trashed his pickup and then, worst of all--shot his huntin'dog. Ruined him financially.
Called her trailer trash and drug her out by her hair. Reckon he roughed her up a bit outside. Woman like that needs to stay barefoot and pregnant, keep her in line."
Tex smiles. "Yeah, those jeans were painted on! Them high heel shoes get me everytime."
Bobby Joe looks out the window. "Well, her car is still here. Guess the old man took her home in his. Right flashy car he was driving too. All flash. Can't keep his woman satisfied, though. Why else would she be here?"
Tex leans over and looks out the window. "Purty little car. 'TRI-ME', NY tags too.
Guess I will take a run on that tag and see what comes up. I can check at the DMV tomorrow."
Bobby Joe refills his glass. "I don't know why you keep working at the DMV, Tex."
Tex smiles cryptically. "I am studying for my private investigator's license. If I work there for a while, I can break into their databanks. DMV records hold alot of personal information. I'll have that little darlin's address by nine o'clock tomorrow morning."
With that, Tex walks out singing,
"Still you wonder
Who's cheatin' who, who's being true,
And who don't even care anymore
It makes you wonder
Who's doing right to someone tonight
And who's car is parked next door?


Part 121: Meanwhile, there's Grace.......by Coralynn

The people back in town are unaware of the drama playing out but a few miles down the road.
It's afternoon now, and Grace is just beginning to stir from the slumped over the table posture she's maintained since early morning.
She raises her head and gazes around with a wondering expression.
"Where am I? I'm late.......if I don't clean Caleb's house he will be wroth........" then it comes to her where and "when" she actually is, and the fog begins to lift.
"Feeling better, Grace?" Bethia asks, but while waiting for a reply, hears heavy footsteps. Sounds like Henry8.
It is, and not only does he enter the house, but Daniel as well.
"Thought you'd like to have him back now," Henry tells them. "Looks better than he did, aye?"
"You have some color back in your hair," Eleanor comments, "But you're the same scum inside. I want you to know, Daniel Gwinett, that I am not pleased at your presence among us."
With that Eleanor goes to one of the chairs with the levers on the side, picks up a magazine, snaps it open, and proceeds to read.
William has just come in the back door and when he sees Daniel, he scowls and tells him, "John isn't here at the moment, so you'd better take this rotten excuse for a man back to your castle, Henry. We'll send for you when John returns."
Daniel is casting his glance around the house, "Where's Rosamond?" he wants to know.
"None of your business!!" Bethia yells, "Haven't you caused enough trouble already? If you live in this house with us, we are going to make your life a living hell. Just thought you ought to know," and with that she starts putting dishes away in the cupboard.
Grace is now almost cognizant. She sees Daniel and smiles. Where have I seen him before, she wonders.
"What's with her?!" he asks the group in general, since no one is engaging him in conversation one-to-one.
No one is going to tell Daniel the problems Grace has. Being that he is a born opportunist, that could spell disaster.
"Gotta go back to the blue house," Grace starts for the door like a robot, "Gotta clean the blue house."
"Is she in her right mind?!" Daniel demands to know.
No response. These people are pretty unfriendly, he thinks. I'd be better off with Henry.
William addresses Henry, "Take him back to your place now and John will come get him later, Henry."
Henry and Daniel leave.

Bethia is about to phone for a Cab when Eleanor volunteers to drive them back to the blue house. They call the children in from the back yard where they've been playing with little Will, and off they go.
"I appreciate your chauffering me around, Eleanor. Tomorrow I go to the DMV and get my drivers license so I can drive that new car I bought. There it sits in the driveway, brand new and undrivien. OH, John wanted to borrow it, but, license or no license, I would have driven it to the ER ward if Grace had gotten any sicker."
"Thank goodness she's coming around, then, Beth, because with your luck, or rather, with MY luck, you would have been stopped by the Police for driving without a license. I finally got one myself after being stopped twice. Those Cops sure are picky!!" she laughs.
"John was in quite a hot lather over Rosamond running up his credit cards," Eleanor adds, "but I side with Rose. Really, why can't the man get his act together? If he wants her, why can't he just proclaim himself and DO something? That idiot brother of his at least has the moxie with women. What a shame he's such a scum."
"I know," Bethia agrees, "I hate the thought of him living with us. Maybe we ought to sneak in and trim his hair like a Mohawk in the middle of the night so he can't pass himself off as John again!"
"With our luck, we'd trim the wrong guy!!" Eleanor moans.
Then, from the backseat they hear:
"I turn 4 next week," Rebecca tells everyone, "Should I have a party? I know, back in Southold in the Olden Days we didn't have birthday parties, but they have them now. Can I invite a few friends from my pre-school?"
"I think that would be fine," Bethia answers the child, as Grace acts like she doesn't even hear Rebecca.
Bethia groans, hmmm, maybe she also needs a hearing aid? What is it that woman doesn't need? Tomorrow I hire her a Nanny. All I have to get through is tonight!!"

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