VALENTINES DAY, ANYONE??

THE GUYS GO SHOPPING......by Coralynn

The perfect store for buying last minute Valentines Day gifts is Spencers Emporium, and early on this V. Day the place is crowded with men looking through the flowers, candy, lingerie, specialty doo-dads and such.
Slim notices men he recognizes looking around the place, and groans. Wonder if they're buying for Cecily, too. I'd put money on it!
He sees a bracelet with a dangling heart and picks it up, noticing the fine quality, then looks at the price tag, which reads $55.00. Hmmm, that is a bit steep for a little bracelet, but I like it, I'm getting it! And there's only one left, so at least I'll be the only one to give Cecily this very gift.

Hotspur is examining the bouquets of flowers, most of which are still fresh-looking, though a few have seen better days. Now which flowers fit Cecily? he wonders. He sees an arrangement in a vase that has a variety of flowers and picks it up, making his way to the checkout.

Rafe sees the other men and hopes they aren't buying anything for Cecily, but chances are that's what they're doing! Rats! Well, he spies the largest box of candy he has ever seen, and picks it up. Wow, look at this! Five pounds of assorted chocolates, creams, caramels, nougets, choc covered cherries, the list goes on! This will last a while, too, so every time she eats one of the candies she'll think of me, he decides.

Robin walks into the store and sees the other men, but dismisses them as no competition, after all, he is Robin Hood, one of the most famous men in history. None of these others comes close. He confidently goes to the flower arrangements and chooses the largest one, a vase full of wild flowers, the kind that grow in the woods. Surely this will remind her of our wonderful date! he assumes as he makes his way to the checkout.

Mike is fascinated by the big fish-bowl with about 20 goldfish swimming around in it. Cecily would love this, he declares in his mind. This may even cause her to apologize for walking out of the marriage license office.....surely she must have been having a bad day.

David looks through the Valentines Day cards for one that expresses regret for having stood her up the day they had planned to go on a date. His memory hasn't been all that hot of late, and he wonders if having once been a marble statue is impacting his brain. He finds a card with decorations on the front, but plain inside. He grabs it up, deciding to write his own message.

Travis enters the store last, being on duty and in his uniform. Hmm, what to get for Cecily? he wonders. She wasn't all that pleasant on our date last night. Ahhhhh, here we go.....a black teddy! Lacy. See-through. That oughta get her attention, maybe even put her in the mood. Few women can resist a man in uniform, he chuckles as he heads for the checkout.

The cashier is working as fast as she can, but is flustered because the line is getting so long.
The men stand in line, not looking at each other; carefully avoiding making eye contact with the guys who may be their competition for Cecily's favor.
The cashier expedites the purchases, though finds it hard to swipe the fish-bowl across the scanner with all that water in it, and a few drops land on the counter. Mike frowns as she wipes the droplets off, and, when handed back the bowl, tucks it under his arm and leaves.

As fate would have it, Bess is coming out of the drug store across the street just as the men are leaving Spencer's Emporium, lugging flowers, large packages, small packages and one jerk with a fishbowl under his arm. She does a slow burn...... 'I suppose all those gifts are for Cecily, that brat sister of John's. I wish she'd go back to wherever the hell she came from! I would love to figure out a way to persuade her to do just that....."


AND THIS IS FROM.................by Coralynn

Cecily looks out and sees several packages and such by the front door. Putting on her coat, she goes out to investigate and carries in seven or eight gifts with her name on them.
"I got some gifts!" she yells to Rose, who hurries into the living room to see.
"A fish bowl! and with real fish!" Cecily laughs, and reads the car, "They're from........Mike. oh well. Let's see what this little box has in it............ohhhh look, a pretty bracelet with a heart.......it's from Slim! Isn't that sweet of him?"
"Very!" Rose replies, glad that Slim used good taste, "He is such a fine gentleman, has superb taste...."
Cecily grins, "And you want me to choose him over the other guys, right? Right?"
"It wouldn't hurt," Rose admits.
"Oh yummy, look at this huge box of chocolates!........from Hotspur. What a sweetie! And....." she looks at the card affixed to a large vase of flowers, "Rafe sent these. How beautiful!.............and this other bouquet, uhhhhh, Robin? He says on the card that he hopes it reminds me of our time spent in the woods. Well, it doesn't, because first off, there are no flowers in bloom this time of the year........." she rips open an envelope, and reads, 'Cecily, be my Valentine. I hope you're not having a 'bad' day like you were when we were out together. I hope we can do it again soon when you're in a better mood, Love, Mike.'......Oh brother, that guy is a nutcase. I think one of you needs to get him aside and tell him that he can't strong-arm someone into marriage."
She sees two more boxes, and opens one....and holds up the see-through lacy teddy. "What on earth?!" she looks at the card, "Ooops, Travis!" and rips the card into small pieces. When she opens the last box, a putrid smell assaults her nostrils, as inside are wilted, dead flowers. "Euuuu!" she exclaims, then sees the card lying atop the disgusting collection of moldy, slimy flowers. "This says these are from Rafe! That's funny! He sent me that lovely vase of flowers........" she holds the two cards said by side and announces, "Different handwriting! These awful flowers aren't from Rafe! Must be someone's idea of a joke!"
Rose winces, the name 'Bess' flashing across her mind in large, bold red letters.


THERE'S GOT TO BE A MORNING AFTER.....by Terri

Rose took the box of wilted flowers and said, "I'm taking these out to the garbage can. What horrid things!"
Cecily asked, "Is there a way to find out who sent them?"
"No. Those places have some sort of strict code. Confidentiality. I wouldn't worry about it. It's probably something that my ex-husband would do. They get these notions and think they are funny. Very juvenile behavior."
Cecily walked over to the couch and did a double-take.
"Rose? What is this pillow doing on the couch? Looks like a bedroom pillow."
Rose's cheeks flamed. "Yes, I guess it does."
"Rose, did you kick John out of the bedroom?"
"Not exactly. He left last night. I don't know where he went."
"I know where he was. He was coming out of the theatre when Travis and I were leaving. He came out of something called, 'Death Star Encounter'.
Rose was amazed. "How did he act?"
Cecily shrugged, "About like you would expect."
Rose nodded knowingly, "Oh. The big brother role."
"Yes. Lots of indignation. It's wearing thin. I told him I would see him at home and then I scurried up to bed before he got here. I am guessing he came home?"
Rose said, "Yes. Can't you see by the punchmarks in the pillow? He takes it and squishes it up and then pounds it into shape. This pillow has been particularly pounded."
"You didn't see him?"
"No. He left early this morning. I came downstairs last night about 2:30 to check on him and saw him all curled up on the couch. I called the gym and Slim told me he was in the office. He said John was grouchy and everyone was staying out of his way."
Just then the phone rang.
"Hello...MARTY! How wonderful to hear from you!...no, I've just been home with the children...the baby is now four and a half months old.....really?...you DO?...no, I am definitely interested....a new storyline?...will it involve John's character?..I just wondered since he was on leave too.....the City tomorrow for lunch?..I think I can arrange it....11:00 it is...the Russian Tea Room......I'll be there...OK...Bye!"
Rose turned to Cecily who looked at her with questioning eyes.
She said triumphantly, "Marty wants to meet me tomorrow about an intense storyline for my 'Daisy' character."
Cecily said, "What about John? What will he say?"
Rosamond said, "From his own lips...'this is the way I choose to run my business. It really has nothing to do with you.' Well, this is the way I choose to run my career. And if he gives me an argument, I'll not only tell him 'Stuff it, Gwinnett'--I just may even tell him WHERE!"


John came into the gym, walked directly into his office and slammed the door. Hard. The door just about rattled off its hinges. Slim and Rafe looked at each other. Rafe said, "I'm staying out of HIS way today!"
Slim said, "Yeah. Only one thing can make you do that kind of slamming. Women."
Rafe laughed. "That or the IRS."
Slim snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah. He has that insurance audit today."
Rafe shook his head. "Nope--that is easy. He not only has Rosamond--who is a handful---he also has his sister to watch out for."
Daniel came over to where the two of them were standing and said, "So....I heard the two of you took my sister out."
Slim and Rafe looked warily at each other. "Well....yeah..but we weren't the only ones!"
Daniel laughed. "So I heard. Hey, don't get so nervous! I'm not like John,, being over-protective. Cecily has to learn to fly on her own!"
He headed into the office and sat down at his desk. He opened the drawer and let it fly shut. John groused, "Do you have to be so noisy?"
Daniel arched his eyebrow. "And what sort of bug are WE harboring this morning?"
John snapped, "Just keep it down, I've got a headache and I haven't gotten much sleep the last few nights."
"Baby keep you up?"
"You might say."
A knock on the office door and when Daniel opened the door, a tall brunette with ample chest was there.
Pat McMahon.
Lifestyle Fitness Equipment representative.
And homewrecker in training.


THE GREAT ESCAPE..........by Coralynn

With the Heston and Bush robots diabled, wires sticking out from their heads, the Eleanor and Queen Latifah robots look at some of the others and have a discussion.
"Which ones should we take with us?" the El clone asks.
"Don't want troublemakers!" Queen L. replies with passion, "How about this Hillary robot?"
The El robot concurs and turns on the lever at the back of the Hillary robot's neck, which results in her opening her eyes and exclaiming, "Yoo, what' happenin' dude?"
Queen L. gives her a good shake, telling the El robot, "Her wires got crossed, she's not supposed to talk like that!"
The shaking seems to have worked, as the Hillary robot then says, in a clear voice, "So, what are your plans? I suggest we get out of this dark basement. How do you vote?"
"We vote yes for sure," Queen L. agrees, "how we gonna get out, though? I hear voices upstairs, lots of laughter and...."
"They must be having a party," the El robot says, "And with the music they have playing, they'll never hear us or see us making our way up the stairs..."
"I think there's a back door at the top of those stairs, now, if we can just get to it and let ourselves out, freedom is ours!" the Hillary robot exclaims cheerfully.
The three robots quiety proceed to the stairs and ascend slowly and carefully, making as little noise as they can. When they reach the top, where the door is situated, they can see into the kitchen.
No one is there.
The El robot quietly turns the handle on the back door, it opens, and the three slip out into the back yard and run......


THREE FOR THE SEE-SAW.........by Coralynn

The robots: El, Hill & Queen, keep up a steady jogging pace as they proceed through backyards and leap over occasional fences.
"Where are we going?" the El robot asks, not out of breath, as robots don't have to breathe.
Queen, who fancies herself the leader, stops jogging and searches her memory bank for a destination. After several long seconds, she announces, "To City Hall!" and, with her global positioning built-in, makes a sharp right turn in that direction.
"City hall?" Hill asks, wondering why she wasn't programmed to go there, but Queen was.
"You got it, sister!" Queen replies as the speed increases, the three jogging along in single file formation.
"What's at city hall?" El robots asks.
"Beats the hell out of me, but we're going there!" Queen picks up the pace.

MEANWHILE:

Wandasue is on the phone in the Mayor's office, reassuring Tiffany that she'll successfully pull of that night's plan. "Tiff, I can do this! Just you get that no-good, soon to be ex-husband of mine in a compromising position, and I'll do the rest!..................of course I'll take off the lens cap............sure..............just be sure to keep that back door unlocked so I can beat it out of there..............right..............a clown's outfit..............no, no, he'll never know it's me......................look, Tiff, I know this bozo even better than you do and he'll be so shell shocked he won't be able to do anything for a minute or so, and by that time I'll be long gone......................right..............ok then, it's a plan!"
She hangs up, smiling. At last, a fool-proof way to get a divorce from BB and go halfies with him on all his considerable worldly possessions. The citizens of the town will applaud me for this. Especially the women and they make up over fifty percent of the voters and that's all I need next time elections roll around. Why, I can ride this out and end up mayor for twenty years!

She sees movement at the window to her left and when she turns to see what or who it is, sees Eleanor, Hillary C. and that woman who was in "Chicago" looking in at her. Startled, she looks away, but when she again looks, finds them tapping on the glass. Something about the expressions on their faces creeps her out. What in helll.........


PAST DEMONS.......by Terri

Pat gave Daniel a brilliant smile. "Why, hello, John!"
Daniel shook his head and said, "Nope. Wrong twin. What are you doing here, Pat?"
Pat stuck her head in the door and saw John sitting at his computer, scowling.
"Ah! THERE'S the twin I want to see!"
John looked up from his files and said, "Oh, hi, Pat."
She crossed over and sat down in the chair in front of him, crossing her long legs.
Daniel raised his eyebrow and said, "John, I need to see you about the steam room. One of the valves."
John threw his pencil down and said, "Excuse me, Pat. I'll be right back."
As he exited the office, Daniel grabbed him by the collar and yanked him over to the side.
"Are you out of your mind? That's the woman that almost torpedoed your marriage!"
"So?"
"SO? SO? Is that all you have to say is 'SO?' If Rose knew..."
"Rose knows."
"And she doesn't mind?"
"Daniel, she runs the house. I run the fitness center."
"Maybe. But she was invaluable to you when you were in a pinch. You're relegating her to hearth and home?"
"She's much too busy to do anything but take care of the kids. Even Planet has been put on hold. She's too tired. Now, Pat McMahon is about to make me the deal of a lifetime on overstocked fitness equipment. And I'm not going to blow it!"
Daniel just said, "Uh huh. Nothing in this life is for free. Everything comes with strings attached."
John said impatiently, "Are you done?"
Daniel said sarcastically, "Yeah. Done."
John went back in the office and shut the door. Pat McMahon leaned over the desk and said, "I need to apologize for that little misunderstanding in Kansas City. I hope I didn't cause any trouble for you."
John really wanted the fitness equipment so he said casually, "Not at all. Now, let's see what you have.."

Rose made herself a cup of tea and went through her cookbook. Julie finally went down for a nap, after Rose checked her room for Silly Putty and Play-doh. Her mind played last night's conversation over and over in her head. Did I really say that? Why is he so irritated? I mean, I have had less sleep than him and I don't snap at HIM! Cecily was in the living room sorting through her Valentine's gifts. How nice for her. Really. She's like the sister I wish I had. Lord knows Margaret was no fun.
Rose became a bit depressed. I thought there would be at least flowers. Instead I spent the night up here and he spent it downstairs and he left without even a goodbye. Oh well..maybe he will stop at the jewelers on the way home. I'd rather have jewelry than flowers anyday..
Cecily broke into Rose's reverie and said, "Aren't we supposed to go over there for lunch?"
"Yikes! Yes! In a half hour. Julie should be up by then."
Cecily said, "I hope Bess and I can be friends. She's so close to my age."
Rose thought, I don't need to get in the middle of this. She said, "I hope so, Cecily."
Oh Lord, I hope so!


HEARTS & FLOWERS.......by Terri

Rose was fighting with Julie to get a sweater over her head. It had little red hearts on it. Julie hollered, "NO! DON'T WANNA!"
Rose was getting exasperated. "Julie Beth Gwinnett! If you don't let me put this on you, I'll--I'll---I don't know WHAT I will do!"
Cecily said, "Let me try."
Cecily took the sweater and said, "Ooooh, look,. Julie! Little bitty hearts! That means for each one, someone loves you."
Julie's blue eyes got big and she held her arms up for Cecily to put the sweater on.
Rosamond sighed, "I don't know how you do it!"
Cecily said with a twinkle in her eye, "It's all in the presentation. You're just tired and Julie needed a fresh approach. Didn't you, sweetheart?"
Rose looked out the window. "I see a florist truck over at Bethia's. I'll bet Roger got her a big bouquet of flowers."
Rose stared at the window until the truck pulled away. She sighed. Maybe later...
She went into the nursery and picked up Jenna. "I can't get over how much she looks like you, Cecily. The heart-shaped face, the mouth..it must be from Megaera."
"Megaera? No, Rose. Mother's name was Julia."
Rose bit her lip and said, "Oh. Yes. I forgot. That is where Julie got her name from."
The little ones were ready finally. Will was in school so there was no problem there.
Rose said, "I've ordered a heart-shaped red velvet cake from the bakery."
Cecily said, "I noticed a bakery across the street from the fitness center."
Rose remembered the 'obscene' cake she bought a while ago from the X-rated bakery and said, "I don't really like their cakes.Too fresh."
"Now how can cakes be 'too fresh' ?"
"Trust me. They are."


DESTINATION EIFFEL TOWER!.......by Coralynn

The robots, El, Hillary and Queen, jog along the street behind City Hall. "That was good," Queen says, "Now, Eleanor, it's your turn to choose. Where have you been programmed to go?"
"The Eiffel tower is top of the list," El robot answers.
"What's that?!" Hillary robot asks.
"Damned if I know, but I know how to get there. I have the coordinates programmed in......let's go!"
They turn east and proceed to jog through backyards, woods, meadows, over highways, interstates (causing a nine-car pileup on the I-684), but keep the pace steady and relentless.
Since they don't tire, don't sleep, and have no need for food, their progress is uninterrupted.

After a couple hours, El stops to check her global positioning coordinates. Queen and Hillary notice several women coming out of their houses, breathlessly coming up to them, Pam R. asking, "Are you Queen Latifah?"
Queen answers in the affirmative.
"Why are you running across our yards? Are you in a marathon?" Janet H. asks.
"Sure!" Queen answers, not understanding the question, but figuring why not?
"May we join you?" Jenny W. asks.
"Why not?" Hillary answers.
"Can you wait just one minute?" the three women ask.
"One minute, no more," El robot tells them, as she has now confirmed that she is on the right path to the Eiffel tower.
The women hurry inside their houses, grab their running shoes, leave notes on the table explaining their absences, and rejoin the robot women outside.
El begins to jog again, with Queen and Hill right behind her, single file. The three other women are behind them, grinning and cheering and puffing and panting to keep up.
As they go through the yards of other houses, the women inside see the group of six running what appears to be some sort of marathon, grab their running shoes, slap notes on the tables, and hurry out to join in.
Before long there are thirty women running relentlessly eastward.
A traffic copter pilot looks down and sees this long line of running women and contacts his TV station, "I see a line of women running down there......what's the story?"
The TV anchor, who is on the air at the time, tells the viewing audience, "Our chopper pilot, Dan, sees a marathon being run......where are they Chopper Dan?"
"They're on the outskirts of New Canaan, Connecticut," Chopper Dan reports.
"I wonder if they're running for a cause, like breast cancer or some other disease...." the anchor muses aloud.

The women on Pistacheo Lane see the women approaching, flip off the news, grab their running shoes, quickly toss notes onto their tables and run out to join in.
Soon there are sixty women running, single file, heading east, toward just where they know not........


LUNCH IS SERVED..........by Coralynn

"William, you're not supposed to be here! The gals are going to arrive any minute," Eleanor chastizes.
"Gotta see the news on television, then I'll be off to play chess, just cool your jets," he responds as he sits in his recliner in the living room.
Eleanor, Celeste and Bess exchange looks of disgust. Men!
"Put that extra pitcher of lemonade in the fridge, Bess," Celeste instructs the younger woman.
"We have enough to float a battleship!" she remarks as she slides it in.
"In a bad mood today, are we?" Celeste raises an eyebrow.
"Well, as a matter of fact...........yes! I got nothing for Valentines Day, not from anyone...."
"I thought William gave you a vase of roses..." El says.
"Oh yeah, but he doesn't count!" Bess says petulantly.
"I thought my roses were lovely," Celeste puts in.
"Yeah, but you're his age! I wanted something from....."
"Rafe?" both women fill in the blank.
Bess' response is interrupted by William yelling from the living room, "ELEANOR! Get in here!"
Eleanor puts down the platter of sanwiches she's been making and goes into the other room, where William is sitting, pointing at the television, a thunderous look on his face.
"See that?!"
She looks. The news anchor is reporting, "Our reporters in the field are now running alongside the group of women who have been running the entire morning, and has found the leaders to be Hillary Clinton, Queen Latifah and Eleanor Aqutaine, the last of whom we heard had been murdered...."
"You never cleared that up?!" he storms.
"Welllllll, I quit that sportcasting job, so I just let the rest slide."
"And now they see you running near the head of a long, and I mean long line of women, going God knows where!"
"Has to be the robot. But we disabled it and tossed it in the basement, you know that."
William gets up and gestures for her to follow him into the basement, turning on the lights as he goes down the stairs. He grabs a huge flashlight sitting on a workbench and proceeds into the darker area where the robots had been deposited.
He flashes it around, seeing two male robots lying on the floor. He trains the light on them and exclaims, "Somebody, or something, has smashed those two robots, see the wires sticking out of their heads?"
"Oh yeah, well well, they probably had it coming!"
"You refuse to take this seriously....look, do you see your El robot??"
"I see my 'El robot' is gone, so there's the answer to the mystery of where it is........it is obviously running somewhere, and for some reason a whole bunch of others are running along with her."

They hear the doorbell and ascend the basement steps into the kitchen, as Bethia, Marilyn, Marthy, Rose and Cecily come in the front door, laughing. "Here we all are, where's lunch?" Marilyn asks.
"I'm starving!" Marthy declares, "and you'll never in a million years guess what Jack got me for Valentines Day!"
"What?!"
"A cocktail ring, see? It has a whole bunch of little sparkly diamonds around this sapphire!"
Everyone oooos and ahhhhhs over the beautiful ring, all except Bess, who goes into the kitchen and pours half a bottle of vodka into the lemonade pitcher on the table, and the other half into the lemonade pitcher in the refrigerator.


LEMONADE, ANYONE?......by Terri

Bess came into the living room to the discussion of Valentine's gifts. Bethia said, "Roger sent me a huge bouquet of two dozen red roses--and two white ones in the bouquet from the children! Of course, I know Adam and Bridget didn't pick them out. But the thought is there!"
Marilyn leaned back and said, "Moose gave me a pair of earrings. See? Are they not terrific?" She swayed her head and made the silver hoops jangle.
Eleanor said, "Well, Jerry--being ever practical--gave me some golfing gloves. He wants me to learn this spring and I think I will. The couple that golfs together stays together!"
Celeste nodded to her beautiful arrangement of carnations and roses and baby's breath. "From an admirer. And I don't mean Bruce!"
They all laughed, remembering the Bruce fiasco that nearly drove William to the brink of madness.
Bess said with sugary sweetness, "And what did Miss Cecily get?"
Cecily hesitated and then said, "Well, I got a bracelet, some flowers, and a box of candy. OH! And a bowl of goldfish. A card..."
Bess turned her back as she said, "Isn't that wonderful?"
Cecily could not help but add, "And a black lace teddy!"
Bethia said, "Rose, you have been curiously silent. What did you get from John? And don't hold back. Unless it is a black teddy, too!'
Rose said quietly, "Nothing. Yet."
Bethia said in John's defense, "Well, John had been busy. Roger said. They can hardly get together for racquetball."
Rose tried to smile bravely. "I'm sure whatever it is will come tonight. John never forgets an important occasion."
Marilyn said, "Who was your black teddy from? Rafe?"
Bess's head shot up and she gave Cecily a dagger look which Cecily did not notice. "Oh no. It was from someone I went out with last night. His name was..."
Rose interrupted by saying, "I don't know about any of you, but I sure could do with something to drink."
Celeste said, "Bess? Would you help me with the drinks?"
Bess mumbled, 'Bess, would you get the drinks? Bess, would you take the trash out? Bess, would you clean out the ashes from the fireplace?...'
Rose said, "What is with her?"
Bethia said, "I think she is nervous. She starts working for Roger tomorrow."
Marilyn said, "I'm sure she will do fine. She's competent and she's cute."
Cecily whispered to Rose, "Why did you stop me from telling them who sent the teddy?"
Rose whispered back, "Because Travis McGee is persona non grata here. Not quite as bad as at our house. But very unpopular. So I wouldn't mention it!"
Bess came out carrying a tray of lemonade. She smiled sweetly and headed for Cecily.
"Cecily? Dear? Please do try our lemonade..."


BESS STRIKES BACK...........by Coralynn

"Thank you, Bess," Cecily takes the tumbler of lemonade and quickly drains it, "I didn't realize how thirsty I was. Did you make this? It's wonderful!"
"I helped...." Bess says with a gleam in her eye.
Cecily is under the misimpression that she and Bess can be good friends, and asks, "What do you know about the guys around here, Bess? I've met some of them, but surely you know them better than I."
"Oh yes," Bess seizes the opportunity, "Hotspur is hot, I mean hot, hot, hot. Robin is adorable and David, the one who used to be a statue, is weird..."
"How about Slim? Rafe?"
"Well, Slim is a great guy. I dated him for quite awhile...."
"You were engaged!" Eleanor adds.
"Really?" Cecily is surprised, "What happened? I take it you're not engaged anymore."
"No, we aren't, because I found him to be rather ordinary, but you might not. Now, Rafe, on the other hand, is bad news. Not only is he a thief, but he has bad breath and flat feet."
"Oooooooo, I didn't notice the bad breath!" Cecily wonders why not.
"Kissing him is gross, the stench is enough to send you reeling...."
"So you also dated him?"
"Yes. We came to the 21st century together. We were pretty hot back in 1777. I think we might be hot again if only you...."
Celeste sees where this is going and interrupts, "Ladies! Behold the sandwiches Eleanor has made us. We also have a cake that Rose got....."
The conversation swings toward the food and the Valentines Day gifts.
Cecily is still under the impression that she and Bess can be buddies, "And what did you get, Bess? You must have gotten tons of gifts!"
"I'll show you...." she goes into her room where she's plopped down the roses William gave her, not that it meant anything.....William gave everyone roses. However, she quickly pens a card and, looking in her jewely box, pulls out her best necklace, the one with the diamonds and rubies.
Rejoining the group, she tells them, "These are from Rafe!"
All the women ooo and ahhh over the necklace, even the ones who know she's had this jewelry for months.
Cecily comments, "I see why you say you and Rafe will be hot again. He must be wild for you. I wonder why he......"
Celeste sees trouble again and interrupts, "Ready to see the killer cake?"
She and Rose go into the kitchen to fetch it. Rose keeps her voice down, but asks, "What is going on in there with Bess and Cecily? Bess is telling Cecily that she and Rafe are an item. I doubt Rafe is aware of it."
"I think Bess wants Rafe back, and now that he's showing interest in Cecily, it's making Bess jealous," Celeste explains.
"Bring out that other pitcher of lemonade will you, dear? The first one is empty I noticed."
El lifts the pitcher from the fridge and carries it into the other room, while Celeste takes in the heart-shaped cake with great pomp and circumstance and sets it on the table.
"This cake is loaded with flavor. It has everything in it, even brandy, walnuts, raisins, the list goes on. Now, with a cake like this, we play a little game. It's called 'Old Maid,' which means that the person who finishes eating her slice last gets to spend her entire life single."
"Single is no curse!" Eleanor laughs.
"Hear hear!" Marilyn seconds.
"But I'm already married," Marthy mentions, "What if I finish last?"
"I hadn't thought of that," Celeste admits, "Let's just say that the single person who finishes last gets to be the Old Maid."
They all dig in, crumbs flying furiously, especially on Bess' plate. She glances over and sees Cecily picking daintily at her slice of cake and does a slow burn, thinking, 'She's so damned confident....look at her over there! Fat chance she'll be an old maid, even if she finishes an hour after the rest of us. What gaul! What supreme chutzpah!"

Eleanor makes sure she finishes her cake last, and laughingly recieves the mantle of Old Maid. After the hooting and hollering dies down, she looks over at Cecily and notices the young woman's eyes appear glazed. She hopes Cecily isn't becoming ill. "How are you feeling?" she asks.
"I feel very yellow, I mean mellow, I mean....hey! Got anymore of that killer lemonade?"
"Certainly!" Bess pours her tumbler full again. Cecily downs it quickly.
"But you didn't get any!" Cecily slurs, "So, what'd'ya all want to know about the men I've been dating, huh? Wanna know who, *burp* took me straight to the marriage license place? *hic* Wanna know who froze off my backside in the woods? *giggle* Wanna know...."
Her face lands in her plate.


NIPPING ON THE SHERRY?.....by Terri Rose and Eleanor rush over and pull Cecily's face out of the cake. Rose tapped her gently on the cheeks.
"Cecily? CECILY! Are you all right?"
Cecily had a hard time focusing. "Rose, they sure didn't grow lemons like that in England! Musht be the fur-fur-furtilizer.."
Eleanor tried to set her upright but Cecily tipped to the side and fell over. She was totally passed out. Rose put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at Bess.
"OK, Miss Crane! What did you do?"
Bess got an innocent look on her face and said in a hurt voice, "Me? ME? I did nothing! I mean, look at all of you. Are you passed out? I don't see anyone suffering any effects of anything!"
She looked closely at Cecily and said imperiously, "I think Miss Cecily Gwinnett has a little drinking problem! She must have started on the cooking sherry early, Rose. I'd check the liquor cabinet if I were you."
Marilyn got a blanket out and covered Cecily with it. "I can't see any point in waking her up. Let's let her sleep it off."
Rose nodded. "I just hope she wakes up before John comes home or he will hold me personally responsible for her."
She took a quick glance at her cellphone. No text messages. No voice mail. Not an 'I love you'. Not even an 'I'm thinking of you.'
Her heart kind of sunk. She pushed the thought out of her mind. Bethia looked at her watch and said, "I'd better get home. The nanny wants the evening off."
Rose said, "Yes. I'd better go, too. I'm fixing John a nice romantic dinner. Cecily was supposed to go out with Rafe tonight..."
It was out of her mouth before she thought about it. Bess' face turned crimson. She looked at Cecily and then Rose and said with fake sweetness, "Does he want to pick her up here? Or at the nearest AA meeting?"
Rose looked hard at her and said, "I can't believe you said that, Bess!"
Bess turned and flounced out of the room. Rosamond turned to Celeste and asked, "Could she stay here? When she comes to, she can stay in my old room. Juanita is staying with the children right now so I will relieve her and get Will from school and then bring them over. Thank you for offering to take them overnight, Celeste."
"Oh, my pleasure, dear. You and John deserve a night alone."
Rose gave her a hopeful smile, picked up her coat and walked home.


RUNNING ON........by Coralynn

The winter sky is getting dark and ominous as the 60 women, plus 3 robots, run toward the east.
El robot stops suddenly, which results in a massive pile-up of women, yelling and objecting to being knocked over by the ones behind them.
El robot checks her coordinates, then announces, "We're going to head south/southeast now!"
"Why?" Queen asks.
"Because there's water there, water we have to swim across."
Some of the women not far back from the three leaders hear this and one yells out, "Swim? In February?"
There is no reply, as the line has again begun to move, this time in a slightly different direction.
Sleet begins to fall from the sky, which causes many of the women to yell, "That's it! I'm heading home!"
There are about 35 defectors, which matters not a bit to El, Queen and Hill.
They jog ever onward, toward the water, toward their eventual destination.


THE TRAP, MURPHY'S LAW EDITION.......by Coralynn

Holly is impressed, "The table looks beautiful, Tiff! When is 'Bill' getting here?"
"In about 15 minutes. Time for you to go to the movies, Holly. Sit through it twice if you have to, but don't return till as close to midnight as you can."
"You expect to keep him here that long?"
"Probably not. When WandaSue jumps out and takes our picture in 'the act,' that may end the evening sooner. But......just in case, Hol, stay out as long as you can in case he has to be seduced into it. After what happened the last time, he may be wary. I'll have to soften him up, assure him that this is a safe place...."
Holly grabs her coat and says "Good luck!" as she heads out the door.

Tiffany has just lit the candles when the doorbell rings. Checking herself out in the mirror one more time, she opens it and smiles, "I'm so glad you could come, Bill."
He hands her some flowers and a box of candy, and enters. "Happy Valentines Day, Tiffany! I hope you're feeling a lot better tonight."
"Oh I most certainly am. That flu bug was a monster. But now we can have the evening we've been looking forward to..."
Billy Bob moves toward her after quickly drawing the drapes, and unbuttons her dress, which soon falls to the floor in a heap.
Tiffany is startled by his impatience, and hopes that WandaSue is ready, sequestered in the kitchen. To make sure WSue knows that the moment is near, Tiffany makes a load groaning noise and says "Oh Bill! Oh Bill!" as loud as she can.
WandaSue hears this and tries to picture what might be going on in the living room. If I jump out too soon, I won't get incriminating pictures, so I'd better wait a few minutes to make sure. Damn! the collar of this clown suit is scratching my chin! But this is the only one the costume store had, so......
Within minutes WandaSue hears, "YES! YES!" and figures that has to be the signal.
WSue pushes through the swinging doors of the kitchen into the living room, positioning her camera so that she can start snapping pictures right away. Oh yes, this is perfect! They're on the living room floor, with no bed, no blankets to hide under, nothing....she snaps away as fast as her finger will push the button on the camera.
Billy Bob pulls away and yells, "Not again! What in hell is going on here?!"
Tiffany tries to pull him back down again, "Bill, how can you leave me here all hot and bothered?"
He sees a clown running into the kitchen, and chases after it. The clown looks like he/she is about to escape through the back door into the yard, but.........."LOCKED!" the clown yells out as he lunges for it and brings it down, the camera clattering to the floor.
Tiffany quickly tosses on a robe she has hanging in her bedroom nearby, and runs out into the kitchen to see 'Bill' yank the rubber clown mask off and yell, "WandaSue!" as he sees the real face behind it.
WandaSue waggles her fingers at him and says, coyly, "Hi, Billy Bob, having a nice Valentines Day are you?"
"How did you get in here?"
"Uhhhh, thru the window?"
He yells, "Tiffany! What do you know about this? The first time it happened I was prepared to believe you weren't involved, but this time......what are you trying to pull off?"
Tiffany plays the innocent, "I have no idea how she got in here, Bill, I swear it!"
He grabs WandaSue's wrist, yanking her to her feet, and glares at Tiffany, "Are you two in cahoots?"
Tiffany changes the subject, "You need to get dressed, Bill, you do realize you're standing there stark naked, don't you?"
"I asked, are....you....two....in....cahoots? This is a setup, right? Tiffany, you went out with me to get me in this.....this situation so you could take a picture and WandaSue the scuzz could file for divorce and nail half my assests, admit it!"
"I refuse to admit to anything, now put on your clothes, you look ludicrous standing there naked, put them on and leave!" she points to the front door and acts like it was he who committed a social fau paux.
He dresses quickly and pounds out of the condo.
Tiffany and WandaSue have just given each other High Fives because they have the incriminating pictures, when he suddenly bursts back in and grabs the camera out of WandaSue's raised victorious hand and runs back out.
"Damn!" Tiffany yells.
"Double damn!" Wandasue adds as she rips off the rest of the scratchy clown outfit, leaves it on a chair, and goes to the fridge.
"What are you doing here still?" Tiffany asks.
"I wouldn't be here still if you'd kept your promise to keep that back door UNlocked, Tiff. Now, what do you have in your freezer? I missed dinner. Hmmm, no Hungryman anything! What kind of a joint is this?!"


THE GRINCH WHO STOLE VALENTINE'S DAY.....by Terri

Rose had dropped the children off at Celeste's and checked on Cecily. She was still out cold. Rose knew somehow Bess was involved. Just how, she wasn't sure of. Time for that later. She dialed the fitness center.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Moose. Don't bother John, but can you tell me what time he is leaving?"
"Sure, Rose. Looks like on his appointment book he is leaving at 5:00."
"OK. Thanks. I want to surprise him with dinner."
"Sounds nice. I leave here at 4:30 and I'm taking Marilyn out to dinner."
"Wonderful! So I am guessing he will be home by 5:30. Perfect! Thanks, Moose! And don't tell him I called."
"Sure thing, Rose. Bye!"
CLICK!

John was in the office and looked at the clock. Five o'clock. Pat leaned over the desk, her perfume wafting from the decollete of her neckline.
"So, all you need to do is sign here..and here...and over here. The distributor will transfer the paperwork and warranties into your name."
John signed, put the cap back on the pen and leaned back.
"Done deal!"
Pat picked up her coat and said, "At least let me buy you a drink in celebration. This deal was first class!"
John thought for a second, then thought of the afghan and pillow he found on the couch last night and said, "Why not? But just one drink, Pat."
She slipped into her coat and said, "Meet you at O'Brien's pub on River Street."
She left and three minutes later, John picked up his jacket and put it on. As he grabbed his car keys, Daniel said, "Going now?"
John said, "Yeah. I'll be in at 8:00 tomorrow."
As he walked out the door, Daniel called, "Don't forget..."
Slam!
"....Valentine's Day!"

Rosamond towel-dried off from the bubblebath. Let's see...legs shaved, body lotion in John's favorite scent...
She dressed in her Victoria's Secret lingerie and slipped on the red silk dress that hugged her body. She brushed her hair and it laid like a curtain of silk around her shoulders.
She went downstairs and checked the time. It was 5:00. She saw that the fire was laid in the fireplace, crackling and burning. She set the table with china and put William's flowers as the centerpiece. She touched the roses. Dear William!
Taking the catered food out of the cartons, she arranged them on platters and put them in the refriderator. She set the wine on the table with chilled wine glasses. She opened the bottle to let the wine breathe. She checked the time. It was 5:25. She walked over to the CD collection and selected some nice soft music....

Pat was sitting at a table in the back when John came in.
"I took the liberty of ordering you a drink. Scotch and water still your poison?"
John took off his jacket and said, "Perfect!"
He yawned.
She said, "Late night?"
John nodded. "My baby sister is living with us for now."
"And you had to fix her bottle?"
"Oh no, she's 21. But she's new in town and I have to look after her."
Pat crossed her legs and leaned back. "Are you sure that is all there is? You have the look of a man bummed out."
John rubbed his temples. "Just not much sleep and the start of another headache."
Pat signaled for the barmaid. She nodded and the barmaid put another round down.
"This will chase the headache meanies away, Mr. Gwinnett!"
He raised his glass and said, "Let's just put that to the test!"
Pat laughed and said, "I double dog dare you..."

Rose looked at the time. It was 6:00. She called the gym.
"Daniel, is John there?"
"Nope, he left at 5:00."
"Ok. Maybe he had a stop along the way. Thanks."
CLICK!

She dialed his cellphone. On the seat of a black Corvette parked on River Street, a cellphone rang. And rang. And rang.


BESS' CAMPAIGN.......by Coralynn

"I phoned Rafe and told him Cecily was ill," Celeste comments as she sees Rafe approach the house.
Bess sees him as well and smiles. Flinging open the door, she admits him.
"Oh Rafe! I'm so sorry," she begins, "but how could you know that Cecily is an alcoholic?"
"A what?!" he scratches his head.
Bess pulls him aside and says softly, "They try to keep it under wraps around here, but Cecily can't leave the stuff alone. The rest of us had lemonade, and we thought she did too, but my guess is that she managed to sneak into the kitchen and spike hers."
"I came over to see how she is," Rafe states calmly, "Is she awake?"
"No, no, when she gets like this she sleeps for 12 maybe 15 hours straight!" Bess figures that oughta cover it.
"Well, I guess I'll be going then..." he starts for the door, but Bess tugs on his arm, "No sense you going home alone! Let me get my coat...."
She throws her coat on and, before he gets a chance to decide whether or not he wants her to, she has pulled him out the door onto the front porch.
He stammers, "Uhhhh, so what do you want to do?"
"How about a nice quiet dinner at a bistro?" her eyes shine up at him.
"OK," he says with little enthusiasm.
They drive to a restaurant and are fortunate enough to get a table right away. Bess schootches her chair as close to his as she can and rests her hand on his arm, "Oh Rafe, how I've missed you!"
"You have?!"
"Yes, very much. Not a day goes by that I don't yearn for what we once had."
"What did we have, Bess?"
"Romance, adventure!"
"Yeah, but that was when I was the Highwayman. I'm not like that anymore. Dr. Phil straightened out my life."
"God bless Dr. Phil!" Bess says with adoration.
Rafe doesn't know why she's behaving like this, after giving him the cold shoulder for most of a year, but smiles and realizes that her acceptance or rejection just doesn't sting anymore.

MEANWHILE:

William unbuttons his shirt, the top button of his pants and leans back in his recliner to watch the news. That pizza was good, too good, and he ate way more than he should have.
"We open our news with the continuing saga of the women who are running......" [the camera goes to where the women are running into Fairfield, Connecticut]......the line thinner than it was earlier in the day, but the remarkable thing being that the three leaders of the marathon have not slacked, have not rested, have not stopped to eat......[the camera shows them nearing Long Island Sound, the water visible even in the dark]......"they are now.....oh my!.....look at that!......they are swimming! We go now to our chopper positioned over Long Island Sound....Dan, chopper Dan, what do you see from your vantage point?"