DECEMBER ADVENTURES



AHHH the FUTILITY....by Coralynn.

Bad King John, trapped as he is in the time-warp William put them all into, which means the 12th century, but the same day over and over, with no forward progress, becomes desperate to escape. "They never even asked me if I wanted to go into the future with them!" he grumbles to Geoffrey of Anjou, who looks at him with a bored expression, "It's your move, buddy!" he indicates the chess board lying between them.
John upends the chess board and stands, "I'm so tired of chess I could scream! I'm going to figure a way to get to that century, which one was it?.."
"Twenty first," Geoffrey informs him for the tenth time.
"Yeah, that one! They're having a great time there. I hear they're rich as Midas and throw these huge parties where kings and queens and dukes and dutchesses show up dripping in jewels."
"Do you now? And where do you hear this from?"
"Victoria was there, remember? She came back, which was stupid of her, but I heard from her that the gang is living in grandeur, and I mean the kind of granduer where an entire house is heated and they don't have to huddle around a fireplace like we do, with cold drafts coming in freezing our backsides and our feet and our...."
"You'll never get there, John," Geoffrey interrupts, "No one in his or her right mind would want you around with your attitude problem, your spoiled brat personality and your vicious temperament."
"Dad was there, too! More than once! Mother hates him, and he got to go! She has to like me more than she does him," John says petulantly."
"He's an angel next to you, John. You have a reputation you'll never live down."
"Bum rap!" John stomps off to find a way to make a magic coin of his own. Surely it can be done, after all, William has one, he must have made his....somehow.....or other.

BACK in the 21st CENTURY:

WandaSue answers the phone and hears the head of the Town Counsel tell her, "We're going to have to move your installation as mayor up from January to December because the outgoing mayor just skipped the country with about half the money from the general fund..."
"Told you he was a crook!" WandaSue can't help but gloat, "So when does this take place, my installation that is?"
"Today. As soon as you can get down to city hall," he answers.
"But nobody will be there because everyone is expecting it in January! No inaugural parties, no television coverage..."
"We regret that, Mrs. Montgomery, but the town has to have a mayor......now."
"You can drop that Mrs. Montgomery stuff, just call me Wandasue Skaggs...."
"But you campaigned using the Montgomery name."
"So I did. Well, we'll see, but right now I have to throw some duds on and get down to city hall, right?"
"Correct. As soon as you arrive we'll swear you in."
WandaSue hangs up, goes to her closet and looks for the most impressive outfit she can find. Ahhhh, this rhinestone studded jacket with purple peacocks should do the trick," she thinks as she gets ready for the Big Day.


THERE MUST BE A WAY........by Coralynn.

Bad King John roams around the castle looking for something suitable to use for making his own time travel coin. He rummages through the kitchen area, but all he finds are knives and spoons and some old pots and pans, none of which look like good material for something magical to use to take him into the future. He discards the idea of using the candle-sticks as they're too corroded. He wanders into the chapel and looks up and around the walls, and when his view comes to rest upon a cruifix he knows he's found what he's been looking for.
He reaches up on the wall to bring the golden statue down, but it's been attached very well to the wall. Now what, he wonders to himself, well, I'll get something to pry it off the wall.
He starts on a castle-wide search for an implement which can help him unlooose the cruifix from the wall. Nothing looks very promising which makes him feel frustrated but still determined. He then wonders if he threw something large at it if that would unlodge the thing. But what??
Maybe the metal helmets they wear during dangerous feats of bravery? He fetches one out of the supply room and wonders if it's heavy enough. Well, only one way to find out, he thinks, and heaves it with all his strength at the crucifix. It hits, then bounces off, the cross still affixed to the wall.
Gotta get something heavier, he thinks as he roams around picking up almost anything he can find to see if there is anything in the entire castle capable of toppling the prize he seeks.
He searches and searches, but finds nothing suitable, so sits on a bench and commands his mind to come up with an idea. It takes ten minutes, but his mind does think of an angle: why not punch a hole in the castle wall from the outside and get the crucifix that way? But what? Ahhhhh, a battering ram! Yes! He leaps up with new excitement in his eyes as he runs outdoors to get one of the castle battering rams, which are easy to find, stored in an area behind the stables. OK, he thinks, these break down brick and stone walls because of the force of a hundred men pushing them rapildy. I am one person. How can I get the strength and speed of 100 men? I need to be bigger, stronger. Maybe I can eat gluttonously and become so huge that the battering ram.......no, who am I kidding? If I become rotund I won't be able to run at the castle at all because my legs will overlap and I won't be able to move them. That's out!
Mayhap I can get one hundred serfs from the countryside, yes, I can, I will. I'll tell them this is in lieu of paying their yearly homage to the crown. Alright, so father will be wroughth, who cares? I'll be out of here anyway! he knows this scheme will work and whistles as he proceeds to the village where the serfs hang out.


The serfs in the village gather round as bad King John sits upon his noble steed, dressed in his royal finery, smiling at them. This is odd: bad King John has never before smiled at them. What could this mean??
"Townsmen! Fellow Englishmen! Rally to the cause!" John yells out enthusiastically.
The serfs look from one to the other, confused. What cause? Their lives have been blessedly placid of late. No invading armies, no plundering, no pillaging nor soldiers burning down their shacks.
"What cause might that be, noble sire?" one of the older men asks, respectfully, lest he become imprisoned for impertinence.
"My father, your liege the great King Henry the Second, has proclaimed that your yearly homage in produce and slaim sheep shall be waived this year....."
There is general buzzing about this good turn of events.
"All you have to do is aid me in my desire to bring down one wall, a very small wall, one might call it a tiny wall, in the castle..."
"Knock down a castle wall?" one of the younger men asks, crossing himself in fright.
"Yay, one small wall that was built incorrectly back three hundred years ago when the castle was erected. The King has decreed it shall be replaced with a sturdier wall, one that will add to the value of the castle...."
His voice trails off as the village serfs raise their hands and step forward into a force of over one hundred men. The women huddle together, whispering, as they, being women, are a smarter lot than their husbands, and are sure this is some sort of trick.
"Onward to the battering ram!" John yells as he and the over one hundred men surge toward the castle and are soon out of the women's sight, behind the stables where the battering rams are stored.
"I smelleth a rodent!" a tall brunette woman declares to the others.
"Aye, I smelleth it also!" several other women agree.
"What can be done?" a third asks.
"Not much, honey, this is a monarchal patriarchy, remember? We're toast!" the wisest woman in the village tells them as she turns back toward her shack, the others following behind.


WHITHER THE CRASHING & BANGING?.....by Coralynn

Geoffrey waits for Henry2 to make his next move on the chessboard, which is taking altogether too long for his allottment of patience. John is a much faster chess player, ill thought out as his moves may be, at least his pace doesn't grate on Geoffrey's nerves. Henry2 has been getting slower and slower of late, too. "Something bothering you, Henry?" he asks.
Henry switches his gaze from the board to Geoffrey's face and sighs, "I am getting powerfully bored. Nothing ever happens around here..."
As he says that they both hear a powerfully loud crashing going on somewhere outside the castle. Geoffrey leans out to see what it might be and his eye is immediately caught by the sight of John and what appears to be over one hundred serfs coming at one the of walls of the castle with a battering ram, which wall has received one loud hit and he can see they are rolling the ram down the slight hill to get another good running start on it.
"What is it?" Henry2 demands.
"Keep your shirt on, Henry! Look, see, your youngest hellspawn has gotten himself up a game of sport, though what it might be escapes me..."
Henry2 joins him at the window and sees his youngest son and a whole bunch of serfs beginning to roll a battering ram toward the castle as fast as they can. Within a few more seconds he hears another loud crashing and banging. "He must have made up the game, Geoffrey. I never heard of a game that involves hitting a castle with a battering ram. I thought those were just used for warfare, and, as far as I know, but what do I know anyway anymore, we are not at war with John."
"At least not a declared one," Geoffrey frowns, "Methinks the youngster has gone a bit batty from boredom, which is worse than even you are experiencing, Henry. John told me earlier that he is totally upset that he has never been invited to the 21st century like you have."
"I've been there but abused each time," Henry2 states with some bitterness, "The time I had to roam the streets looking for a place to lay my head with no friends or family to invite me into the warmth of their hospitality..."
"But at least you were there!" Geoffrey points out.
"Several times. But no more. Between Eleanor and Rosemond, they have given me the fervent wish to never set eyes on either of them again."
"Didn't you say those two are now fast friends?" Geoffrey's expression clearly shows that he finds this very hard to believe.
"Yes, they're like twins, sisters, uhhhhhh....whatevers.....a bad combination. What torture one doesn't think up for me the other does."
"Have you told John how bad it is in the 21st century?"
"I told him, but he's been listening to Victoria go on and on about the modern conveniences and inventions and how rich they all are, which appeals to the lad, being greedy for new experiences."

John looks up and sees Henry2 and Geoffrey looking out from a second floor window and wonders why one of them doesn't run down and put a stop to his demolishing part of the castle. Since they are still at the window, not running down yelling at him, he knows he has time for a few more good hard crashes against that chapel wall. So far the stones have given way but not fallen in a heap, which is what he needs them to do.
"Once more, Comrades!" he yells as the sufs get ready to make another run at the wall.
This run is more productive; John can see a real hole in the wall now and estimates that one or two more runs at it will no doubt topple it.
He leads the serfs down the slight hill and when far enough away to get speed, urges them onward, "Faster!" he yells as they push with all their speed and strength. This time the wall does tumble down in a heap of stones. A cheer goes up from the serfs.
"Well done!" John congratulates them, "Now, go to your homes and celebrate!"
The group begins to walk back to the village and John hears, "No tribute to the crown!" several times, hoping that his elders, still at the window, don't hear it as well.
He reaches in and finds the crucifix lying by itself, totally disconnected from the wall. He picks it up and stuff it into his tunic happily, running into the castle to sequester it in a secret place that no one else will find.
Henry2 and Geoffrey notice that the crashing and banging has ceased. "Well, I don't know what the object of that game was, Henry, but John must have won it. Now we have to patch up that wall, but if it keeps John from bothering us about how bored he is, it'll be worth it!"
"That was a diversion, now let's see, what will my next move be on this chess game we have had on the go for three days running?" Henry sits down again and resumes pondering while Geoffrey resumes waiting.....


INSTALLED..............by Coralynn

WandaSue arrives at city hall in her sequined peacock outfit and is met at the door by a security guard. "Who are you here to see?" he asks.
"The city counsel, stupid. I'm the new mayor..."
The guard gives her a skeptical look and clicks on his phone. "Yes, this is Jeffrey at the front door......a woman claiming to be the new mayor as arrived........(then whispering).....but you should see her!..........OK, I'll check."
"Do you hace identification with you, Mrs. Montgomery?"
"Let's drop the 'Montgomery' nonsense, name's WandaSue Skaggs..." she whips out her driver's license and shoves it under his nose.
He gets back on the phone...."sorry to disturb you again, but this person is named......uhhh...Wanda...Sue.....Skaggs."
He clicks off and shrugs, "Third floor, ma'am."
WandaSue goes to the bank of elevators and enters, punching in the '3.' The elevator rises slowly and then stops. She tries to open the doors, to no avail, then sees a button for opening the doors, which she punches. They open to show her a brick wall. She recoils and punches the 'shut doors' button. She punches all the other buttons to see if any of them will start up the elevator again. No. She sees a phone and grabs it, yelling "Help! I'm stuck in the elevator!" It appears the phone is there to give people confidence that they'll be rescued in any emergency, but in reality the phone is dead and useless.
WandaSue begins pounding on the door, but soon realizes that no one can hear that, stuck between floors as she is. "OK, babydoll, now you've seen this in movies.....what do they do?" She recalls a movie in which the hero climbed up through a trap door at the ceiling of the elevator he was stuck in. She looks up to see it a good ten feet over her head. Now how in hell am I supposed to get up there? she wonders.
"OK, babydoll, now think! How do I get rescued? Maybe, just maybe someone will punch for this elevator, and when it never arrives on their floor report it malfunctioning. But it's early, too early for people to be getting to work, besides, there are four other elevators and when this one doesn't open at their floor another one will. So......
She sits down on the floor and ponders.
"If I had me a time travel coin I could zap myself out of here. But I don't. Just a minute! how could I be so stupid? I have my cell phone with me, I can call the guys up in the city council room and tell them what's happened!" she smiles; what a good idea.
She looks about for a phone book. Nope, no phone book. Well what is their phone number up there anyway? I can always call information, yeah, smart move, babydoll. She punches in all the numbers that she remembers being 'information' numbers, but none of them work. She holds her cellphone up to the light source to see if there's a button on there that will connect her to info. Nope.
"Isn't this a fine kettle of fish?" she yells out, then realizes there is one more possible avenue of escape. She dials 9-1-1 and when the person working the 9-1-1 desk answers with, "Please state your emergency," she yells into her phone, "I'm stuck in an elevator at city hall! Send someone or your job is on the line, mister!"
Silence. The 9-1-1 guy has never been spoken to so rudely by someone who needed assistance. In fact, he's so angry he hangs up. WandaSue hears the dial tone. She punches in 9-1-1 again and gets a new voice, a woman this time.
"I am stuck in an elevator at city hall, please, if you would be so kind, can you inform the people on the city council that their new mayor is late for her appointment because she is stuck in this *&$$$% elevator?" Almost made it without being obnoxious, she thinks, hope this does the trick.
"Can you give me the address?" the woman's voice requests.
"City hall! City hall! Look it up!" Wandasue can't believe the incompetence! After I become mayor, those people are going to be replaced, she resolves.
"Just stay where you are, help is one the way," the woman's voice reassures her.
"Stay where I am? Where d'ya think I'm gonna go, stuck in an elevator!" then WandaSue realizes she could be alienating her only lifeline, and adds, "thank you for your assistance, Ma'am, I will forever be in your debt." There, she thinks, that's more like it, and that woman can't see me giving her the one finger salute.


____________......by Terri

Marilyn pulled up in the driveway, ran up the stairs and knocked on the door. Moose opened it and said, "Marilyn, you never need to knock. Just come in!"
Marilyn had a grocery bag filled with the fixings for a meatloaf dinner. "Moose, how do I know you don't have female company?"
He gave her a hug and said, "Sweetheart, with you around, there ARE no other females!"
Marilyn stomped the snow off her boots in the mudroom and took her coat off.
"Well, I remember at Thanksgiving you said how much you liked meatloaf so I thought I would surprise you with a home-cooked meal! I got the recipe from Celeste."
"How is her engagement? Have she and Bruce set a date yet?"
Marilyn hesitated, but thought twice about coming clean on the scheme.
"They want to get to know each other a little better."
To change the subject, Marilyn looked over at Moose's computer. He had a screen saver on it, no activity.
Marilyn said, "Moose, your book 'Bucaneer' is a runaway best-seller. How many weeks is it on the charts?"
Moose said, "Let's see...we found that diary around January, didn't we? And I completed the writing in March and it hit the bookstores in May. I guess, what? Seven months?"
"Any movie offers?"
Moose poured a cup of coffee for Marilyn and one for himself. "Well, since the success of Pirates of the Caribbean, pirates are very hot now. And Rhys Morgan cuts a romantic figure. Megaera is the tragic heroine that all the adolescent girls love. But then, the studios are afraid of 'overkill'. We'll see. Touchstone is showing some interest."
Marilyn took a drink of her coffee and said, "That hits the spot! What next, Moose?"
Moose said, "I don't know how I could possibly follow that up!"
Marilyn sat there quietly. She said thoughtfully, "You know, Moose....sequels are very big. Remember that whole series by John Jakes, 'The Kent Family Chronicles'?
Moose nodded. "I loved those books. They whetted my appetite to write historical romantic novels."
Marilyn turned to the computer. She hit a key and AOL came on. She typed in 'google search'. To herself, she said, "I wonder if there is anything we can use..." Moose said, "What do you have in mind, Marilyn?"
Marilyn turned to him and said brightly, "Correct me if I am wrong...but could there possibly be a sequel to 'Buccaneer'?"
"Sequel?"
"Well, your story ended with Rhys on Tortuga and committing piracy on the high seas and Megeara living her life with James Gwinnett. Right?"
"Right. So....?"
"The 'so' is...maybe there is a sequel. Maybe a romantic telling of Megeara and James? Did she ever really love him? She had more children with him. Let's do a search on John and Daniel Gwinnett's family!"
Moose was aghast. "Isn't that snooping, Marilyn?"
Marilyn grinned wickedly. "Well, we could use it as a guideline. We could change names. Let's click on---and see what happens!"


COOKIN'..............by Coralynn

Bad king John tries to look casual as he goes into the kitchen area looking for a big pot, one he can hang in the fireplace of his chambers. Needs to have a handle. He discards one after the other, ignoring Isobelle, the new cook, who keeps chirping at him, "And what might ye be lookin' for young master?"
He finally finds the perfect pot and carries it out of the room, Isobell's voice now yelling, "Where are ye going with that?" He ignores this as well. Who does she think she is, questioning him? He hopes none of the others see him carrying it down the hall, as he'd have a harder time blowing off their questions. When he gets to his chambers he quick ducks inside and sets the pot down.
Now, to make the hottest fire possible! He starts his fireplace ablze, which is does beautifully. So far so good! He reaches for the crucifix and realizes he'll have to hack off whatever on it is not made of pure gold, as he doesn't want wood and brass or anything else but gold to melt down. He has an old hunting knife, which he uses to pry the small statue of Jesus off the cross, muttering, "Sorry about this, old man, but I'm sure you understand."
The cross itself appears to be solid gold. He places it into the pot and waits for it to melt. He keeps watching and is disappointed to see how long it's taking. Twenty minutes of concentrating on it and it hasn't melted at all. The room is getting very hot, but he decides to tough it out.

MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE 21st CENTURY

The city council is gathered outside the elevator containing WandaSue, stuck as it is between floors. Mr. Smith, the head of the council yells, hopefully loud enough so that she can hear, "We'll have to swear you in now, Ms. Skaggs, as we're already late for other meetings. Can you hear me?"
WandaSue hears workmen above her trying to unstick the elevator, and this voice that sounds ten miles away from slightly below where her elevator is stuck.
"WHAT?!" she yells.
Mr. Smith repeats what he said before.
"WHAT?!" she yells out again.
Mr. Smith looks through the file he has containing all the information on WandaSue, and sees her cell phone number listed. He punches in the numbers, and in no time her voice answers, "Who is this?"
"This is Stan Smith, the head of the city council, Ms. Skaggs. We have to be at meetings by ten and it's seven minutes before that hour, so if you don't mind, I'll have to swear you in over the phone."
"S*#%$&!" she yells, "This isn't even going to be in this evening's paper, is it? I mean with a photo and all showing me with my hand on the Bible, you know, you've seen those photos."
"No, I'm afraid not. I must apologize for the unusual nature of your installation, but we had no idea you'd become trapped in the elevator. Now, let us proceed....."
He says the words and she repeats them, promising to be a good public servant, honest and worthy of the trust placed in her by the voters of the town of Chappaqua............and so on.
"Done!" he concludes, clicks off, then she hears nothing but the sound of repairmen who said they couldn't get her out of the elevator yet, but if she'd just hold tight soon she would be able to walk out under her own power.
"Hold tight!" she mocks, "I will as long as I can, but I had three cups of coffee this morning and if I don't get to a ladies room soon, very soon, all bets are off!"


____________,,,,,,by Terri

Marilyn typed in 'JAMES GWINNETT' and 'SOMERSET ENGLAND'. The entries lit up. Moose handed Marilyn a hot buttered rum.
"Thanks! Would you look at this? It appears the Gwinnett family have quite a few descendants."
Moos sat in the chair next to her at the computer. "Did you know that Rosamond's ex-husband--the cowboy--was a direct descendant of Daniel's?"
"NO! REALLY?"
Moose took the opportunity to lean close into Marilyn, inhaling her perfume. Mmm....Chanel #5!
"Moose? Moose? Earth to Moose! Come in, Moose!"
Moose snapped back. "OH! Yes, it's true! It took a few twists and turns but he's a direct grandson."
Marilyn said, "Well, I'll be! Look here, Moose!
Marilyn clicked on someone's GEDCOM file. She said, "It shows that Sir James and Megaera Julia Stafford had three daughters. Katherine was born in 1613, Isabel in 1616 and Cecily iin 1620. Quite a bit of spacing when they didn't have very sophisticated methods of birth control. Maybe she had miscarriages?"
Moose said, "I remember overhearing John and Daniel laughing about something and I came in. Daniel was holding his stomach he was laughing so hard. John was doubled over. I asked them what it was, and they said it was something that their kid sister Ceci used to say. That's what they called her."
Marilyn sat there, thoughtful. "It sounds like Cecily was a real live wire!"
Moose said, "Yeah, she was the baby and she used to follow them around. Kind of a tag-along and tried to keep up with them."
Marilyn typed in a name.
Moose said, "What are you doing?"
She sat back and let the computer do the work. "Trying to see if 'Cecily Gwinnett' has a story to tell."
Moose said, "Wow, will you look at that?"
Marilyn peered closer. "She seems to be connected with a Sir....Morley? Hmm....it mentions a 'Morley Hall'. Let's do some more digging...."
Marilyn typed it in and hit 'search'.
She breathed in and let it out slowly. Moose said, "What is it, Marilyn?"
Her eyes never left the screen. Her hand slid the mouse all over the mousepad.
"I'm not sure..." she said slowly. "But it looks like Cecily was involved in a scandal. I see the words 'murder' and 'infidelilty' peppered throughout. And...look here, Moose!"
She pointed to her screen. Moose peered at it. "It says....'haunted'! Marilyn? What do you make of it?"
Marilyn said, "I don't know..but let's keep digging! We're on the trail of something really big, Moose!"


HOT!..........by Coralynn

Queen Margaret of Scotland walks down the hall, pondering which acts of benevolence and charity she should commit next. "I was cannonized as a Saint," she thinks, "because I am so gracious and good, kind and King Malcolm adored me above all, so it looks like I'd better keep it going here. But what can I do? I've given the peasants coins with which to buy necessities, I've..........good merciful heavens!" she stops dead outside a chamber door as heat is barreling out from the underside.
Fearing the room within may be on fire, she taps on it, then, after no response from anyone, she slowly pushes the door open and looks in. To her horror, that miserable John is lying on the floor, passed out. The room isn't on fire, but the temperature has to be as hot as Hades, not that she has any plans to visit such a place, her being a Saint and all.
She sees that John is breathing, and is momentarily disappointed. It would be so beneficial if he were to die young, she thinks, then quickly crosses herself in a panic. What an evil thought is that?!
She walks over to the fireplace, the obvious source of the heat and sees within a big iron kettle a cross with blurry edges, as they have begun to succumb to the exteme heat. What devilment is he up to now? he wonders, He's burning a cross? Blasphemy! Should I inform his father, Henry? or, being a Saint, should I just leave the room and go to my own chambers and pray for the salvation of his ugly soul? Hmmm, she ponders, snitch on him or pray? Pray or snitch?
She leaves the room, pulling the door closed after her and decides to do nothing, just go back to thinking up more good deeds.

MEANWHILE:

"Bess! Eleanor!" Celeste calls out, laughing before, between and after each name.
The other two rush in to see what the excitement is about. Celeste has the Story showing on her computer and points to the part she has been reading.
"Oh my God!" Eleanor laughs, "that twit John is trying to come to the 21st century, is he?"
Bess frowns, "He's your son, Eleanor, why do you call him a twit?"
"Because he is! Henry loves that miserable son, while I prefer Richard. If any son were to come to this century, I would prefer Richard, but alas, John is the one who is trying to move heaven and earth to join us."
They continue reading and find the situation amusing. "You know," Celeste comments, "He probably won't succeed in making a time travel coin that works, but just in case he does, I'd rather WE brought him here instead."
"Brought him here?" Eleanor is aghast.
"Look, I just got the most devilishly clever idea. What say we have William go fetch the brat and bring him here, but not to this house."
"To which house would he bring John?" Bess' curiosity is building.
"Ever hear of a homeless shelter?"
"Sure! But we don't live in a......" Marilyn begins, then smiles, "oh, I get it. We can just pretend we do."
"Right. If Mary of Scotland has been filling his head with tales of riches and central heating, we need to disabuse him of any notion that we live like that. We can take turns being at the homeless shelter, too, so all of us aren't cramned in there at one time...."
William pops his head into the room, "What are you ladies cooking up now?"
Celeste makes sure the diamond engagement ring Bruce gave her is visible, raises her left hand to her face and replies, "You are going to bring John, no, not John Gwinett, but John, Eleanor's son, to the 21st century."
"Why in blazes would I do that?" he bellows.
Bess stands up, walks over to William, and looking up at him with her big blue eyes, says innocently, "because I have this mad crush on him."
"Balderdash!" he backs away from her.
Celeste, making sure her diamond catches the light, sighs and adds, "We need to teach the little twerp a lesson, and we need you to help, William. We all agree that you are the most.....uhhhh.....the.....bravest......our only hope!"
"I don't want him in this house! Have you gone daft?!"
"Ohhhh, but he won't be in this house, William," Celeste explains, "He'll be in a homeless shelter. That oughta get him over his obsession with the 21st century."
William is beginning to reconsider as Eleanor seats him in front of the computer screen and simply instructs him, "read."


QUESTIONS FOR JOHN....by Terri

Marilyn was wrapping leftovers and Moose was loadinig the dishwasher.
"That was wonderful, Marilyn! I suspect Celeste could not have done better!"
"Thanks, Moose. I love cooking and I never really get the chance."
"Well, you can come over and cook for me anytime."
Marilyn put the last of the leftovers into the refridgerator. She looked around.
"It is so hard to believe that less than a year ago, this house was basically in squalor, Moose. Now look at it!"
Moose grinned at her. "A whirlwind named Marilyn came in and put it straight! I am just loving the central heat. I can't imagine that I used to sit in front of a typewriter with a space heater."
Marilyn laughed. "Yes. And now look! You have a computer/word processor to work on. No more typewriter ribbons and that white-out."
Moose poured them a snifter of brandy. They took it back into his office.
"I have an idea. Let me call John and ask him a few questions about Cecily. We may get a better direction to go in."
She picked up the phone and heard a familiar voice.
"Hello?"
"Oh, John! Just the person I want to talk to!"
"Marilyn! What a pleasant voice to hear! I was half expecting..well, I don't know WHAT to expect anymore when I answer the phone!"
Marilyn said, "I'm over at Moose's house. We have an idea and we want to run it by you. Do you have a minute?"
"Sure.What's on your mind?"
"We'd like to find out more about your sister Cecily."
"Cecily? It would take more than a minute to explain Cecily."
Marilyn said "Oh." She was disappointed. John said, "Tell you what. Why don't I come over? Show me what you have and let me see if I can help you. Then you can tell me what you and Moose are up to."
Marilyn said excitedly, "Great! Why don't you bring Rose?"
John said, "No, she's pretty worn out. The baby was fussy all day and Julie decided to paint the dog blue. She's been watching Blue's Clues. Rose had to wash the dog."
"OK. Come as soon as you can."
CLICK!

John pulled into Moose's driveway and knocked. Moose opened the door and said, "Hey, that was quick!"
John laughed and said, "It's a zoo at the house tonight and I think I'm better off here."
Moose said, "What can I get you? Scotch? Bourbon? "Hot buttered rum?"
John said, "Rum, please. Now, are the two of you going to tell me what is going on? Why the interest in Cecily?"
Marilyn said, "Moose is trying to find new ideas for a book. I suggested we cruise your family."
"MY family?"
Moose hurriedly said, "Look, John, if you think we are being nosy, please forgive us. We were just fooling around on the computer."
Marilyn flashed her smile. "Let's be honest. We were looking for new story ideas. The name Cecily is so pretty that I just on a whim 'google searched' it."
John sat back on the couch and took a sip of his rum. "And what did you find?"
Marilyn and Moose looked from one to the other. "We're not sure. What can you tell us about her? I don't mean the cutesy stuff she did as a child. Her marriages."
"Marriages? More than one? Cecily was ten year younger than Daniel and me. So when we left home, she was about seven. We were 17 and last I heard from Mother when we were in the New World, we were 29 or 30. Cecily had married Byron Fitzhugh. He was a poet and a dreamer. But he came from landed gentry and Mother liked him."
Moose and Marilyn looked at each other. John picked up on it. "What? Something wrong?"
Moose explained, "We came across the name 'Sir Jacob Morley' and 'Morley Hall.' Do any of those names mean anything to you?"
John shook his head no. "Should they?"
Marilyn stood up and looked at Moose. "I guess we should show him. John, there is some stuff with Cecily that isn't too cool. And it has Moose and me kind of disturbed."
John said, "Show me. Then I'll see if it is something I should worry about."


RAGS......by Coralynn..

William is flipping through the yellow pages looking for a place to obtain clothing that homeless people might wear. "The nearest place is the Goodwill in White Plains," he grouses, "but if we have to drive there, I guess we have to drive there."
"We do!" Eleanor is vehement, "If we don't look down-and-out, John won't find our story believable..."
"What is our story?" Bess wrinkles up her forehead, her eyes wide with curiosity.
"OK, let's all be on the same page here," Eleanor begins, "We had a lot of money but lost it in the stock market. Of course that twit John has no idea what the stock market is, so much the better. Suffice it to say we are now destitute."
"Our house, you know, the one Mary Queen of Scots told him had central air, we lost to our creditors," William is getting into the swing of things, "and now we are living in the homeless shelter..."
Eleanor points out, "But where is the nearest homeless shelter, William? We have to find one, because they sure as heck don't have one in this affluent town, nor in Pleasantville....."
"Could we open one?" Bess blurts out.
"Hmmm, how would we go about doing that?" Eleanor wants to know.
William laughs, "I read in this morning's paper that the old mayor absconded with half the money in the general fund, so WandaSue is being installed, probably has already been, actually. Now, in her campaign speeches she spoke enthusiastically about opening a homeless shelter here."
"And people still voted for her? They approve of a homeless shelter in the middle of this town of all towns?" Eleanor wonders.
"They would have voted for Rin-Tin-Tin, remember? It was either the incumbent crook or WandaSue," William reminds her.
Eleanor reaches for her cellphone, "OK, we'd better get this show on the road then. I'll phone her at city hall and see if we can get a homeless shelter built soon, like today. If we donated the money for it, that would move things along."
"Then we'll head for the Goodwill and buy some raggedy clothes!" Bess exclaims, "Oh this is going to be so much fun!"

OVER AT CITY HALL:

WandaSue is in her mayor's office at last, having been rescued from the elevator a scant five minutes before her bladder was due to explode.
The phone rings. Oh good, she thinks, my first phone call as official mayor of the town!
She picks up the phone at the same time her secretary does, and when she hears Delores' voice, tells her, "I've got it! Go back to your filing!"
"Hello, this is WandaSue Skaggs, mayor of Chappaqua, how may I help you?" she likes the sound of that; very classy, very official.
"WandaSue, this is Eleanor," a familiar voice comes over the phone, "Were you serious when you said you wanted to open a homeless shelter in town?"
"Well, I was," Wandasue feels very powerful making her first real decision, "but since Vince Wells took off with half the city's money, I don't know how I can do it now."
"We'll pay for it. All you have to do is set it up. In fact, we'll donate two million dollars to replace what that crook took IF we can get the homeless shelter built as soon as possible."
WandaSue is impressed. The rich snobs want a favor from her!
"Let me get back with you on this. I think this can work, though, and won't the voters be impressed that I'm going through with one of my campaign promises?"
Eleanor is dubious about how thrilled the inhabitants of the town will be to see a homeless shelter plopped down right in the midst of them, but agrees, "Oh yes, and my guess is they'll re-elect you if you continue to keep your promises. This is a good start, an excellent start!"
"Why, thank you, Eleanor. You know, I'm the mayor, I can make decisions and I say we DO it. Today. Right this very minute. I'll have to scout around for just how to build one in a hurry. You have any ideas?"
"Why yes I do," Eleanor sounds enthusiastic, "I know exactly how we can do it today."
They talk a bit longer, Eleanor being very friendly, WandaSue acting magnanimous, all the while thinking of the two million she can say she brought into the town treasury all by herself.
Eleanor finally clicks off and, turning to William and Bess, announces, "It's a go! Now, she'll do her part and get the homeless shelter up today and we will drive over to Goodwill and get our duds."
"In one day?!" Bess is incredulous, "but how?"
"You'll see!" Eleanor laughs, "you'll see!"

GOODWILL:

Eleanor fills Celeste in on their plans as they drive to White Plains, Celeste laughing and applauding the creative solutions to the problem of 'what are we going to do about John Plantagenet.'
When they arrive at the Goodwill, they park and go into the store, the women going to the racks that hold women's clothing, William going to the men's racks. He finds a suit that has seen better days, looks to be about fifty years old, but alas is in too small a size. He walks around looking for the XXX sizes, and finally spots a small area on one rack that contains huge, shapeless t-shirts and sweaters with holes, which he grabs up, then spots only one pair of huge pants, which are chartreuse. Pretty tacky, he thinks, satisfied with his new clothes.
Celeste, Eleanor and Bess are having more trouble finding super-bad women's clothes.
Celeste finally finds a housedress that went out of style twenty years ago and holds it up in front of her, "What'd ya think?" she asks the others.
"Good one, but you need winter clothes," Eleanor reminds her, "oh look! Here's an old ski suit that went out back in the 50s! See the tears, see the stains? I love it, and it'll be warm."
"Will there be any heat where we're going?" Bess is getting worried.
"Sure hope so!" Celeste finds baggy pants and an obviously hand-knit sweater that somebody made very badly indeed, as it hangs lower on the left than it does on the right and is made of brown varigated yarn. "Oh ick!" Bess comments as Celeste tries it on.
Eleanor yells out, "This is perfect!" holding up a rusty homemade crown that someone must have made as a joke for a birthday party, "I can pretend to think Im still the Queen in this one! And if I pair it with this ratty old prom dress....."
"It gives new meaning to the words 'bad taste,' Celeste laughs.
After a few more items are found, they all take their 'finds' to the checkout counter and find that the entire bag full of clothes comes to a mere $40.33.
As they drive back to town, they notice quite a few flat-bed trucks hauling toward town as well, carrying what WandaSue promised she would buy for the new homeless shelter. Eleanor points them out, "See? Those are to be 'home sweet home'....at least till John gives up and goes back to the 12th century!"
They honk happily as they pass, and give thumbs up to the truck drivers who have no idea why.


GEDCOM CLUES.......by Terri

Marilyn turned to the GEDCOM file of a Susan Whitaker. She scrolled down and said to John, "She's a descendant of your brother Charles. But she did colateral lines. See here? She has Katherine down as married to Phillip, Duke of Norfolk. Seven children.
Isabel, married to Robert, Duke of Norfolk."
John looked over and saw his name. Next to it, it read: 'John Gwinnett, born 1610, emigrated to Colonies circa 1627. Married Elizabeth Tuppence. Disappeared, presumed dead 1640.'
Under Daniel, it read, 'Daniel Gwinnett, born 1610, emigrated with twin brother John, marriage and children unknown. Died 1650.'
John said, "You know, that gives me the willies seeing that in print."
Marilyn scrolled down further. "Here we have it. 'Cecily Rose Gwinnett.'
John said, "How about that? Jenna looks like her and they both have the same middle name!"
Marilyn said, "Look at the date entry for her. Born May 1, 1620. Married Sir Byron Fitzhugh February 10, 1637. Married Lord Jacob Morley September 23, 1641. Died July 10, 1645."
John sat down. "She died at the age of 25? My Cecily? But....but she was so full of LIFE! What happened to Fitzhugh?"
Moose said, "Obviously he died. Quite early in their marriage."
Marilyn said, "Let's do some digging."
She typed in 'Byron Fitzhugh'. A good number of entries came up. Hmm..said he could possibly be the next Shakespeare. Looks like he died of some sickness. Probably pneumonia. It says he was born in Stratford England March 11, 1607."
John bit his fingernail. "He was twelve years older than Cecily. Cradlerobber?"
Moose said, "Maybe it was a love match. She was 17, he was 30."
John said, "Oh. Yeah. Sure."
Marilyn's fingers flew over the keyboard. "John, have faith. After all, you are 8 years older than Rose."
"That's different, " he said indignantly.
Marilyn continued, "He died January 21, 1641. Cecily married rather quickly. Let's see what it says on Sir Jacob Morley. Moose? Want to take over?"
Moose took his turn at the keyboard. "Sir Jacob Morley. Let 'er rip, Google!"
Up flashed entries. They kept coming. John leaned over Moose's shoulder and read, 'Sir Jacob Morley. Born November 2, 1585." John exploded, "She married an old fa---"
Moose said, "John!"
John chided, "I was going to say 'father figure'. What did you think?"
Moose shrugged and continued. "OK, he was 60 when Cecily died. Let's see. Date of death for him was November 7, 1655. He lived ten years after Cecily."
John said, "I'm worried alright. And upset. What could have possessed Cecily to marry an old man?"



FETCHING JOHN P............by Coralynn

William paces the kitchen restlessly, impatiently. "Is Eleanor ever going to get off the phone? I'm ready to go!"
"She's letting some of the others know what we're doing, William," Celeste speaks up sharply, "You yourself told us that whenever we go on a time travel trip we should let the others know where we're going in case we run into difficulties."
"We're not going to 'run into diffulties,' this is an easy trip: go to Court, get that twerp, John, and zap back to the homeless shelter."
Bess takes the whole thing seriously for a change and agrees, "but we have to tell them not to look for us here in the house, but at the homeless shelter."
Eleanor returns from her phoning and announces, "I contacted Beth...."
"The sweetest person ever to grace the planet..." William adds.
"I saw Marilyn leave earlier to go over to Moose's house, so I phoned her and found Rose and John there as well, so I informed them...."
"When are Marilyn and Moose getting married, and why are Rose and John at his house?" William wants to know.
"They just are."
William looks at his three female companions, dressed in raggedy, old, torn, stained clothing and notices..."Celeste! If you're trying to pass yourself off as a homeless person, I would suggest you get rid of that huge diamond ring!"
Celeste grins, "You mean my diamond engagement ring? Yes, it does look incongruous with this getup I'm wearing. I'll put it in my jewelry box." she runs off to do just that as William stands there rolling his eyes.
When Celeste returns, they all take hands and disappear.

MEANWHILE:

Travis McGee, standing at the front window of the police station yells, "HEY! Look what's going on across the street!"
Alan Carson and several other officers join him at the window.
"They seem to be placing storage sheds or something over there," Alan states the obvious.
"Look! WandaSue is there with them. What's going on?" Travis is so excited about this that before Alan gets the chance to restrain him, he's run out the door and across the street.
WandaSue sees her former ally, that idiot Travis McGee, approaching and wonders 'now what?'
"You can't do this!" Travis yells at her, "Do you have a building permit?" he's proud that he remembers this requirement. Let her talk her way out of this! he thinks with satisfaction.
"These are already built!" WandaSue yells right back at him, "and yes, I have the proper authorization!" WandaSue is proud that she's learned that big word...whew, five whole syllables..."And, in case you don't keep up with the news, I am now the Mayor of this town!"
"But....but......this is........is wrong!" Travis tells her lamely.
"Travis, you are getting on my last nerve. Remember when I told you I'd make you police chief if I got elected? Well, you can forget it! Ain't gonna happen!"
Travis whines, "but you promised!" and would have stamped his feet but is pushed aside by one of the workmen who needs to carry a unit through that area. Travis jumps out of the way, then turns around and walks back to the station, crestfallen, but already his mind is rummaging around for a way to get back at WandaSue.

MEANWHILE:

John awakens from his position on the floor and crawls toward the pitcher of water sitting on a table not far away. He works his way to the table, pulls himself up and sees that the heat from the room has evaporated all the water he was planning to drink.
"I'm hot! I'm thirsty!" he moans.
The fire in the fireplace has diminshed and will soon be out altogether as he somehow makes his way over there and sees that the cross he's melting down is only about halfway melted. He groans and wonders how much longer he can keep this up.
"Gotta get a drink of water!" he says as he reaches for the door to his chamber, hoping to be able to get to the kitchen where water is in larger supply. His hand is almost on the door when suddenly four people appear in his room. Turning his bleary eyes toward them, he exclaims, "William? Is that you?"
"Yes, and I'm here to help you, John," William says kindly, which takes all the acting he can summon.
John's view passes over the three women, and when he sees Eleanor, he comments, "Mother! You look a fright!"
"I'm glad to hear it," she smiles as the four circle him, take hands, Celeste grabbing his right and William his left, as they zap out of the 12th century into the 21st.


SIFTING THRU THE RUBBLE.....by Terri

Marilyn got up and stretched. "It does sound peculiar. Did you know this Byron Fitzhugh, John?"
"No, but then, Daniel and I left England when we were seventeen. You don't pay much attention to what is going on. Cecily could have met him when she went to London. Or Stratford. I don't know...seventeen is awfully young to be married."
Moose and Marilyn exchanged glances. Moose tried not to smile. "How old were you when you married the first time, John?"
John started to say, "Eigh....Oh no you don't! Don't try that stuff on me! I made a mistake with my first marriage. I admit that now. I just didn't know it at the time. Elizabeth was a snooze."

RING!!
Moose answered, "Hello? Celeste!..yes, she's here...I'll put her on."
He handed the phone to Marilyn. "Celeste. She wants to talk to you."
"Hello?"
"Hello, dear. We are going on a little time travel. Seems John Plantagenet is itching to come to the 21st century and make himself at home. William wants to cut him off at the pass. We hatched a plan that would take too long to explain. Do you think you could keep an eye on things at the house for us? Make sure Misty gets her catfood." Marilyn said, "Well..sure. But will you be OK?"
"Oh, sure! This is like a trip to the grocery store. William wants to control the situation and nip this in the bud. No matter what you hear, remember--it is all a ruse. This shouldn't take too long."
"OK.. I'll hold down the fort."
Celeste said, "Is that John over there? I hear his voice."
Marilyn said, "Yes, he was helping Moose with something."
"Let me please talk to him a minute, dear."
Marilyn hands the phone to John.
"Hello?"
Celeste said, "John, we are going on a time travel back to Court. No time to explain, just wanted to please remind Rose that Will has a field trip to the art museum and needs to bring 7.95 to school tomorrow. She may forget with all that she has to do. I won't be around to babysit."
Marilyn pointed to herself and mouthed, 'I can babysit.'
John nodded. "You be careful. Oh, Celeste...can you access your crystal ball for the past?"
Celeste said, "Not really, dear. I'll discuss this when I get back. I really have to go now."
"Have a safe trip then and call if you get in trouble."
Celeste laughed, "Now how am I going to do that, John? Take care! Bye!"
She hung up. Marilyn said, "Well, that was weird."
John shrugged and said, "Hey, 'weird' is sometimes the best we can do. Now..where were we?"

Marilyn said, "She lived in Morley Hall. But one of the google sites said that Morley Hall was formerly known as Bonniebrae."
Moose frowned and said, "Hmmm...Scottish?"
Marilyn said, "Let's see if there is a history there."
Moose typed it in and let Google search do its magic.
John was looking intensely at it. "It appears to be in Northumberland. That is near the Scottish border. What the hell was Cecily doing up there?"
Moose stood up. "My butt is numb...OH! Excuse me, Marilyn!"
John slid in the seat, his eyes green with intensity and his brow knitted in worry. "I'm going to see what is going on."
He clicked on the history of Bonniebrae and read aloud. "It appears it changed hands in 1641. That was the year Fitzhugh died and Cecily married Morley."
He let the mouse roam over the desk. "It says it changed its name in 1641. And the former owner was....I DON'T BELIEVE IT!"
Moose and Marilyn crowded it. "What! What!" they said in unison.
John sat back and ran his hands over his face. "Byron Fitzhugh was the owner. Something is not right. Not right at all."


HOME SWEET HOME.......by Coralynn

John P. looks around at the new environment, excited, then confused. "This doesn't look right," his gaze passes over the cots placed around the room, and the one table with rickety chairs postioned in the middle, just one kerosine lamp for light. Eleanor hides a smile.......looks like WandaSue followed our direction exactly. OK, so we had to lie and tell her we needed one of these sheds for a costume party, no harm in that.
"Where's your castle?" John demands to know.
"Ahhhh, we lost it in the stock market crash!" William tells him, faking sadness, "we invested most of our money and lost it, poof! just like that, up in smoke!"
John P. has no idea what the stock market is, but accepts the fact William just told him, that they had lost their money, and replies, "So you have to live in this tiny room? Your castle with light you summon by touching a button and heat that comes out of the wall not a drafty fireplace........is gone?"
"Gone!" William, Celeste, Bess and Eleanor say simultaneously.
"But we have enough money for food!" Eleanor tells him cheerily as if that would make up for the end of his dream of coming to the 21st century to live in luxury.
"I don't see a cooking room!" John P.'s gaze sweeps over the shabby room once again.
"Oh, we don't cook in here," Bess gets into the spirit of the thing, "we eat in a soup kitchen!"
"Where is it?" John P. asks.
William leads him to the door and points to a slightly larger shed that has been equipped with electricity and some kitchen appliances, "Right there! We have to get in line, though, as there are others here as well...."
"Other people who lost their castles? How many royals are there here anyway?"
"Nono, there are people who lost their jobs due to outsourcing," Celeste tells him, knowing he has no idea what outsourcing means.
"Do we get a Christmas here?" John is frantically looking for some good news.
"Oh yes, the Salvation Army has Christmas Angel trees up in the Malls. People pick an angel card and buy toys and clothing for the children named...."
"We're not children!" John P. objects.
"Well," William snickers, "they don't have to know that, do they?"
"We are on the dole, son," Eleanor touches his sleeve, "we have close to nothing anymore."
"How about Henry8?" John P. asks. Whooops, the four think, we aren't prepared for that question. Celeste is the first to think of an excuse, "He moved to Nebrasks, I'm afraid."
"What in bloody hell is Nebraska?" John's frustration is building.
Bess can't resist, "It's a place so far away across a wide ocean that it takes weeks to get there. We don't expect to see him again......ever."
"You have no friends who could take you in?" John P. is searching for a way out of this miserable shack.
"None," the other four again say simultaneously, Bess holding a hand in front of her mouth to keep from laughing.
"But we are resigned to the fact that wordly riches are not important!" William pontificates.
"Since when, William?" John P. thinks William must be out of his mind.
"You shall see, young John. After you've lived with us in our new home you shall come to appreciate that the only thing on earth worth having is friendship, family..."
"In a pig's eye!" John sits on a cot and wonders how he can ever fall asleep on something less comfortable than the bed he has back at Court. This is disastrous! How could this have happened? And how can he get out of this place? He hadn't had a chance to craft his own time travel coin........so now he has to rely on William, and his frends, who all seem to have lost their minds!
"Would you mind if I........" he chooses his words carefully, "if I went back to Court? It's been ever so interesting visiting the 21st century but now that I have I would like to go back."
"Oh no, no no no," William shakes his head in faux disbelief, "We have so many other things to show you. Besides, hoping that you would be here for the holidays, we filled out a Christmas Angel card for you. I think we said you desired......what was it, Celeste?"
"A train set, if I remember correctly," she answers, then sees John P.'s expression go from confused to totally blank.


WEEKEND JAUNT ANYONE?.....by Terri

RING!!
John's cellphone went off. "Hello?"
"John, do you know what time it is?" Rose was on the phone.
"Well, sure it's----HOLY SMOKES! Is it really that late?"
"Yes, it's really that late! What have you been doing all this time?"
"Oh...just sitting around talking to Marilyn and Moose. The kids in bed yet?"
"John, it is almost midnight! Of course they are in bed!"
"The paint come out of Julie's hair?"
"Her hair, yes. Her face...well, let's just say she may be mistaken for a Smurfette."
John groaned. "Anything you can do?"
"Yes. Give her another bath. Either that or she can be the 'blueberry girl' in the new Willie Wonka movie. Don't you have to get up early tomorrow?"
John said, "Yeah. I'll be home in fifteen."
"Fifteen what?" "Minutes. Rose, go take some ginko."
"John, darling?"
"Yes?"
"PHHHHHTTTTT"
He turned to Moose and Marilyn. "She hung up on me. I'd better get going."
He picked up his jacket and put it on.
Moose said, "I hope we didn't get you in trouble by keeping you here."
John said, "Not at all. She just blew me a raspberry and hung up. It's her way of saying 'stuff it'." He laughed. Then he turned serious. "This thing about Cecily really puzzles me. I can't ask Megaera because the person she is now doesn't know she had three daughters."
Marilyn said, "I'm sure Cecily was happy with Morley. It's a shame she died so young."
John said, "Well, childbirth or typhoid, something like that usually took a young woman out. This upsets me. Cecily was so full of life. A real live wire."
Moose said, "Really?"
"Yes. Picture Daniel in a dress. I'd better get going. Thanks for the rum and the conversation. I'll see you at the gym tomorrow, Moose. You have the 10 AM 'boot camp aerobics' class, don't you?"
He nodded. John kissed Marilyn goodbye and headed out the door.

Moose and Marilyn sat on the couch finishing up a brandy. Moose sat there pensive. She said, "Moose, you have that look on your face. Are the creative juices starting to flow?"
Moose nodded slowly. "I think there is the making of a story there..but just what I don't know."
Marilyn said sorrowfully, "Poor Cecily! Imagine being 25 and dying. She hardly got to taste life." Moose said, "I know. John was really upset by it. He said once that Cecily was very possessive of both him and Daniel. They looked out for her. He said that his other two sisters were---what did he say?--oh yeah! 'Girly girls' he called them."
Marilyn said, "I'll bet when he and Rose have another girl they call her 'Cecily'."
Moose said out loud but mostly talking to himself, "You know, if I could do more research, this would be a good novel."
Marilyn's ears pricked up. "Research? Moose, I have a wonderful idea!"
Moose said, "What?"
"When do you get the next day off?"
Moose said, "After tomorrow, I have a four day weekend. Why?"
She said excitedly, "Because...WE ARE GOING TO ENGLAND!"


BAD JOHN and the SOUP KITCHEN.......by Coralynn

The other twelve sheds for homeless are beginning to fill up, as word has gotten out. A crowd of townspeople are beginning to assemble in front of the place, a few of them with placards reading "No bums!" and "This is an eyesore!" The local news media is also there interviewing people and getting good shots of the shacks.
"What problem do you have with this?" one reporter asks a blue-haired matron.
"It's disgusting! I mean right in the middle of this upscale community we have shacks full of bums! I won't stand for it!"

"Getting cold in here," John P. complains to William, "there isn't even a fireplace!"
"Beggers can't be choosers, dear," Eleanor reminds him yet again, as his kvetching has been non-stop.
"I'm starving!" he responds to her placating.
"I think the soup kitchen is open now," Celeste looks to the larger building on the west side of the sheds, "we could go over and enjoy a meal," winking at Eleanor, who grins back at her.
The group proceeds to the soup kitchen, which actually has a big rough-hewn board nailed over the door stating just that.
They are almost accosted by some of the angry residents as they walk toward the soup kitchen, William and Eleanor trying to hide their faces in case anyone recognizes them, being high profile and all that.
Eleanor is amazed when they step inside that WandaSue was able to throw together a cooking shed, a bathroom shed, plus a "gift shop." That two million for the City coffers will do wonders, she muses to herself.

They each take a tray and proceed to the cafeteria line, which has about fifteen other people already there choosing their meals. John goes to the head of the line, but is yanked back forcibly by a tattered man, obviously a weight lifter fallen on hard times. "NO CUTS!" the guy yells in John's face.
"But I am John Planta..." he doesn't get any further, as he is hurled across the room and lands on his backside, slamming his head up against one of the metal tables. He stands up, after feeling his head and pronouncing himself alive, and with thunderclouds over him, marches up to where his four companions are still in line, asking loudly, "Why do I not get first in line? I have always been given special treatment, after all, my father is Henry the Second, King of all England!"
Several of the others hear this and shake their heads sadly, as some homeless people are not just down on their luck, but mentally ill as well. This fellow is delusional, obviously. How sad.
"Stand with us and keep your yap shut!" William tells him in no uncertain terms, "You are not given 'special treatment' in this timeframe. This is America, not England in the 12th century. This country has no king, no queen, no royalty...." he sees that John P. has lost most of his fervor, and hopes he stays that way, then to himself he thinks, 'good. perfect. He hates it here, and this is just the beginning!
When they get to the place in line where the cafeteria help are dishing out the food, Celeste, Bess, Eleanor and William all request the roast chicken. John looks at their plates and scoffs; not enough food to keep a knat alive! "I want that one!" he points to a big platter of meatloaf, which the worker slices and puts a reasonable portion on the plate. John frowns, "No, I mean I want the whole thing!"
"We have to share with the others," the cafeteria worker tells him calmly.
"I don't share! I don't have to share!"
The worker puts his slice of meatloaf back onto the platter and states, "No meatloaf for you!"
"WHY?!"
"You are rude. You get no meatloaf. You get no chicken!" the worker proceeds to put gruel into a large soupbowl and slides this across the top of the counter in John's direction. John lifts it down onto his tray and scowls, "This is outrageous! Wait till I inform my father the King...."
The others nearby again feel pity for this poor fool who is obviously mentally ill.
By this time his companions are seated at a table, setting out the dishes and stacking up the trays. John takes a seat beside William and dips his spoon into the gruel. It has just barely entered his mouth before he spats it out all over the table.
"Didn't I teach you better manners than that?" Eleanor frowns at her son.
"The fool wouldn't give me that meatloaf!" John still can't understand why.
"You requested the entire platter," Bess tells him.
"Then I shall have some of your chicken!" he tries to lift the chicken off Bess' plate, which is met with a fork thrust into his hand by Eleanor. "OWWW!" he yells so loud that everyone in the place stops to see where the noise is coming from.
John takes the fork and examines it, "What implement of torture might this be?" he turns it this way and that.
"It's a fork," Celeste answers, "It is for spearing the food and carrying it to your mouth, see?" she demonstrates.
"And sticking other people with!" John slumps down over his soup bowl and takes another spoonful, this time swallowing. He quickly tears at the celophane covering his crackers and stuffs the crackers into his mouth, then a bit more soup.
"Is everyone full?" William asks, looking around at the almost empty plates.
"I couldn't eat another bite!" Bess answers happily, "that chicken was delicious!"
"Then we shall go to the showers!" William announces.
John looks up and squints his eyes, "Showers? You mean like the rain falling from the sky? How do you go to showers if the sky is clear? What silly thing do you have next?"
"You shall see," William responds as they stack up the dishes and place them on the table set aside for collection.
"I hear the showers and bathrooms are elegant!" Bess wings it, laughing.
John P. looks at her, wondering what horrors yet await him.


John opened the kitchen door. Everything was quiet and the only light on was above the stove. Belle and Jake raised their heads lazily from the floor in the living room, gave John a non-commital wag of their tails and put their heads down again.
"Goodnight, you two. Hold down the fort."
They thumped their tales once and stretched out. John climbed up the stairs. The light in the bedroom was off and his wife was asleep. He brushed his teeth and dropped his clothes on the chair, sliding under the blankets.
From the other side of the bed, a voice said, "High time you came home."
John said, "I thought you were asleep."
Rose rolled over and said, "Just practicing for when the kids get 'datiing' age. I won't sleep until they are safe and sound at home."
John yawned. "Then I guess you will have alot of sleepless nights."
After a minute or two, John said, "Rose? What would make a man give up his estates, do you think?"
Rose leaned up on her elbow and said, "I don't know. I guess if there were no male heir to inherit the estates. If there was a daughter, sometimes the man would take the woman's last name to perpetuate the family name. I';ve seen it happen a few times in my time. The old time."
John said, "But wouldn't they pass on to a second son or something like that?"
"Well, sure, if there WAS a second son. If not, then the estate I guess would go to the wife if she remarried or it could be sold at public auction, I suppose. The family could have fallen on hard times and had to forfeit their estates to pay taxes or creditors."
"Wouldn't an estate be pretty self-sufficient?"
Rose said, "In theory. But maybe a person could lose it on a bet or mounting gambling debts."
"Hmmmm. I never thought of that."
"John, why the sudden interest in old English estates and forfeiture?"
John related to her what the three of them had found out about Bonniebrae becoming Morley Hall the same year that Cecily married Jacob Morley.
He then said, "Obviously Cecily didn't have any children with Byron Fitzhugh. Otherwise, the estates would be held onto for them. Unless it was destitute."
Rose said, "I'm sorry your sister died so young. But it happened quite frequently then. You can't change something that happened so long ago."
John was quiet a minute. "Yeah. I guess so. Goodnight, sweetheart."
Rose mumbled, "Goodnight."
Then a minute later, "Rose? I was wondering..."
"zzzzzzzz"
"Guess not."

Marilyn and Moose had their heads together and worked out the details of their plan. Marilyn said, "So we can take the coin, our luggage, and that airline that went bankrupt? The ticket counters at Heathrow are deserted. We can touch down there and that way we will look like we just arrived on a flight. Then we can take a train to the Northumberland area and rent a car. Sound like a plan?"
"Sounds like one to me! Marilyn, I'm really pumped about this! I've never been on a time travel before."
"Well, not really a time travel because we are going in this present time. We can go to the clerk of court or whoever is in charge of the 'chain of ownership' for Morley Hall. According to the internet, it is now owned by Sir Malcolm Hilliard."
Moose grinned, "It's kind of like an English novel where you can sit in a local pub and solve a murder."
Marilyn said, "Moose, I think you have read too many English mysteries. But you know, you do have a good idea."
"Really? What would that be?"
"Sitting in a pub and talking to the locals. The old-timers. Who knows? There may be some local stories about Morley Hall."
Moose said, "I wouldn't mind picking their brains."
Marilyn laughed. "You mean you wouldn't be adverse to lifting a few pints!"
He laughed. "That too. I was thinking, honey. What if it is haunted?"
Marilyn said, "Then we talk to the ghosts, too. I'm going home and getting some sleep. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 1:00. Can you be packed and ready to go?"
"Absolutely. If I were a girl, I'd jump up and down and squeal with delight!"
Marilyn rolled her eyes. "That I can't imagine! We can get lift-off in back of the gazebo at the house. Pack warm clothes. After all, it is winter there, too!"
They kissed goodnight and Marilyn left, ready to try her wings at a solo time travel, with Moose in tow.


BAD JOHN and SANTA........by Coralynn

"I have to hand it to WandaSue," Celeste whispers to Eleanor and Bess as they proceed from the soup kitchen to their shed, "did you see the sign in the kitchen announcing Santa making a visit tonight?"
"Yes! Wonder how she pulled that off so fast!" Bess is excited, "I wonder if he'll have anything for us!"
"Probably. But John will get a toy from the Christmas Angel tree, remember? I signed him up right after we decided to fetch him from the 12th century," Eleanor responds.
Celeste looks at her watch, "Ooops, better put off going to the showers. We have just a few minutes before the Santa party in the gift shop."
William and John P. are already in the shed, John sitting on his cot looking depressed.
"Cheer up, son," Eleanor says cheerily, "we're going to a party!"
"Now?"
"Right now!" Celeste dons her ratty overcoat as the women proceed back toward the gift shop, and soon they see William with John in tow, following about 25 feet behind them.
"The idea of a gift shop was inspired!" Bess exudes, "whose idea was that, Eleanor, yours?"
"No, actually, WandaSue thought that up on her own, will wonders never cease!" El laughs.
When they enter the shop they see articles for sale: t-shirts that have "I survived the Chappaqua homeless shelter!" and mugs stating "Homelessness is not a four-letter word" printed thereon. Bess is fascinated and gathers a stack of t-shirts and sweat shirts together.
"Why are you doing that?" Celeste asks.
"These are great souvenirs!"
"But we're supposed to be broke, better put them back," Celeste advises.
Bess reluctantly returns the shirts to the piles from which she got them and sighs, "Can I get them after this whole thing is over? Will the homeless shelter be here after we're gone?"
"That's the idea!" Eleanor replies.

By the time William and bad John enter the gift shop, Santa has set up and is already beginning to "Ho-Ho-Ho" to the delight of several children who are living in the shelter with their parents. William gestures for John to sit next to him on one of the folding chairs. John sits heavily, wondering what in blazes this is all about. Didn't have stuff like this at Court, he thinks, This 21st century is getting weirder and weirder.
Santa has a fistful of angel tags and after passing out gifts to several of the children, reads off one tag, "And this is for a fine lad named John Plantagenet. What a lovely name.....and where are you sitting Johnny?"
William raises his hand and then points down over John's head. Santa looks surprised; this looks for all the world like a grown man, but oh well, he isn't there to judge; he's there to pass out presents. "Come get your present, Johnny!" he directs the words toward John, who has a glum expression and isn't moving off the chair. William decides to help out, and kicks the chair out from under him, causing John to fall to the floor. "OWW! What was that for?"
"Your name has been called, now get up there and get your present!" William commands him.
John shuffles up to the front and stands there looking hopeless. Santa holds out a wrapped box and waits for "Johnny" to take it. John's hands are still at his sides. William rushes up and manually forces John's hand forward as Santa puts the good sized box in his hands, then reads off the name of the next child.
When they return to their chairs, Johnny sits with the present in his lap with a belligerent look on his face. "Open it! Open it!" he hears Bess urging from the seats just behind them.
John still sits catatonically.
William reaches over and rips off the wrapping paper, then undoes the box so that when he looks in it is clear to see that it's a train set. "A train set!" he announces to the women behind them, who clap and smile. John still shows no interest, but at least has the energy to ask, "What's a train?"
"That's right, you don't know!" Eleanor leans forward and tells him, "but they are great fun. I'll help you set up your train when we get back home."
"Home." he says that one word, then the black look comes back over his face, "you fools are happy to live in that shack and you call it 'home'?"
Celeste can't resist, "Home is where the heart is!"
He turns around and looks at her like she is the village idiot, "That's the dumbest expression I have ever heard!" and turns back around. The women exchange glances and almost laugh but stifle the sound.
After all the childrens' gifts have been distributed, Santa passes among the adults, giving each one a smallish box, saying "Merrrrrrrrry Christmas" as he goes through the crowd.
Soon Santa has gone. The room is filled with the sounds of children playing happily with their new toys, then, one by one the families file out to spend their first night in their new sheds.
Our five people are the last to exit, John leaving the box of trains sitting on the chair. Eleanor rushes back and retrieves it, "'Johnny!' You almost left your toy!" she admonishes him.
He looks at her with dead eyes, totally blank except for a small glimmer of contempt. The 'adults' open the small boxes Santa gave them to find a large bar of soap. "Soap!" Bess exclaims and would have gone on to complain about this being a crummy gift, but Celeste gives her a warning look and replies, "Yes! Each of us has our own bar of soap. How glorious!" John has no idea what they're talking about and cares less.

After they leave 'Johnny's toy' in their shed they proceed over to the building that houses the showers. There is a large stack of white towels just inside the door. They each take one, and proceed into shower stalls with their newly acquired bars of soap. 'Johnny' simply stands there observing, hearing the water splashing and then the others emerging in the same clothing they had on before but with wet hair. "Oh Johnny, you must take a shower!" Eleanor tells him, "We can't have you all smelly and dirty now, can we?"
"I'm not taking a shower," he replies firmly, "and stop calling me 'Johnny!'"
"I'm your mother and I can call you anything I choose," she comes right back at him, "You were the one who wanted so desperately to come to the 21st century. Well, you're here, and I won't hear another grumble out of you, do you understand?"
'Johnny' feels betrayed. This is not what Mary, Queen of Scots, described to him, not at all. He follows the others back to the shed, and once inside notices the air temperature even colder than it was in the afternoon.
"How do we get warm?" he asks irritably.
"See the wool blankets?" William answers as he wraps one around his own shoulders, "My, now, isn't this heaven?"
"What shall we do now?" Celeste asks, trying not to sound bored with several more hours stretching out before them before bedtime with no electricity, no television, no computers, no external entertainment whatsoever.
"I brought a deck of playing cards!" Elearnor replies, pulling them out of a pocket, placing them facedown on the table. "Let's play poker!"
Everyone except John sits around the table and plays poker, with laughter and companionable banter going on for an hour and a half, during which time 'Johnny' sits on his bunk and stares at a knothole in the wall opposite.
"I'm tired!" Eleanor announces as she lies down on her cot and covers up with two wool blankets, still shivering, but determined not to give 'Johnny' any more reason to complain, also pleased that he has reason to complain. This little joke may keep him from wanting to join them.....again....ever.

Soon everyone is asleep, and John is the only one still awake, bored half to death. He spies the train set in its box on the floor and goes to investigate. Being unusually mechanically inclined, he soon has it set up, and flips a lever he reads in the instructions is for the purpose of making the train move. It moves rapidly down the tracks making a shrieking sound that is supposed to approximate a train whistle. John smiles as it goes around faster and faster, shrieking it's head off.
"What in blazes?!" William sits up in bed, rocketed out of a sound sleep. Then he sees John sitting on the floor, transfixed by his train set, and falls back on the bed, knowing this will keep him awake the entire night or until John tires of it. The women are sleeping through the ear-splitting noise, which amazes them. Women! First the don't seem upset that Celeste is going to marry that fool Bruce Valentine, now they don't get upset because 'Johnny' is making an unholy racket, but leave it for him to deal with.
Eleanor is awake, and sees through one open eye two men, one glowering from his cot, the other totally mesmerized by a toy. She smiles, closes her one open eye and drifts back to sleep.


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