French fries anybody?

Quote of the week:
"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday."
--Rodney Dangerfield

Newest Reviews:American Wedding , Seabiscuit
Newest Parodies: Your Mommy Screws The Fed-Ex Man , Yeah, That's The NBALast Updated: 9/03/03

9/03/031:53:29 P.M. ESTBoston University, Yo

Hey everyone. I've been pretty busy with the whole moving to Boston thing and everything, so I haven't been so active on the page. I still owe all of you a funny kickass Freddy vs. Jason review, and I'm workin on it, hopefully. College, you ask? It's pretty good I guess. My dorm isn't near my classes, because the school runs along a frickin long street (Commonwealth Avenue), so I gotta take the trolley. Oh, did you see my John Mayer parody? Funny as hell man. That's some of my best stuff. Go check it out if you haven't yet. And one more thing. FOOTBALL SEASON!!! YEAH!!! This year is definitely an omen for a Giants-Jets super bowl. That would be great man. That would be great. Oh well, I'll post another message tomorrow or Friday. Ciao.

8/21/034:16:44 P.M. ESTKeep your eyes on the road Johnny

Well, it's been 12 days and one kickass NBA parody since I last wrote to ya'll. College is coming quicker than a freight train on Diesel fuel, so I've been preparing and doing all that crap. If you haven't seen my last parody yet, go click on it. It's a hoot. I've always been an underrated sports parodist, but the tables will surely turn once this one gets out. American Wedding and Freddy v. Jason are sure to come out today or tomorrow, don't get discouraged from checking for updates. August went by so quickly didn't it? I just don't get it. Oh, and this ebay guy FINALLY sends my "C++ for Dummies" book today, sheesh. It's been 2 months. No, I'm not a dummy in C++, I received an award for it at graduation. Two things though: 1) The book has some stuff I didn't learn yet, and 2) I need to make sure I don't lose it completely for college. It's not a bad programming language you know. If you like programming, that is...

8/09/034:10:29 P.M. ESTBiscuit's in the basket

This may be the latest time I've ever written a message to you all. But I MUST tell you about the new Seabiscuit review, my 25TH ON THIS SITE!! YEAH!! I might throw myself a party, with alcohol and everything!! Uhh, big controversy with Subway. I got fired, for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON, and no we're going to take down the manager because he's incompetant and undefiably wrong. Oh well, that's my summer. At least I won David Wells' book on Ebay. I heard it's a blast. Hmm, I don't know what else to say. Oh, ok. I went to the Yanks game today. That shit was awesome man!! A 9-7 victory over the Mariners. The rightfield bleachers are a treat when the atmosphere is crazy. Uhh, I had a stomachache today in Flushing, but I survived. I think the game lifted my body's spirits and held off its nauseating process for a few days, I hope. Well, that's too much information. Ciao.

8/01/032:58:26 P.M. ESTArchives section in the works

And the first part is complete. It's a quotes page! That's right, I save all of my old stuff in one big juicy file. For all you lazies out there, here is the link: Link. Whew, working at Subway this week was interesting. I wonder when payday is. Well, nice talking to you all. It's August here on planet Earth. Let's make the best of it, kid.

7/29/032:00:35 P.M. ESTHey look, more movie reviews

Hooray, Jared is keeping more up to date on his website and rambling on in the 3rd person like a drunk man in Wyoming! Hey folks, whats crackin? Two more movie reviews up above. Time seems to be a changin'. You look away from a clock for a few seconds and it's just never the same again. That being said, I hope to renovate the site a little, in whatever way possible. Perhaps some peanut butter would help. Yeah...peanut butter....

7/26/033:33:05 P.M. ESTIt's Parody Mania!!

Two more parodies out on the market, with "The Monopoly Song" remaining #1 on the Potatoland billboard charts. But be sure to check out "Missin' Depends Yo" and "We Will Wok You", two more creams of a cracker (whatever that means). Anyhoo, two more movie reviews are due out today, be sure to check those out man. Oh, did I mention I got a job at Subway? Ha! Another Jared helping out Subway, but I guess I can do the opposite of what that Fogle guy did. Maybe if I gained 20 pounds on the Subway diet, well then the whole ballgame would change wouldn't it? Well, have a nice day, that's all for now.

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