Lean on me

SUMMARY: Part 5 or the Faith series. Spike finally rescues Buffy from Angelus’ claws. But the girl is in a very bad shape and the end is coming too soon for her to recover. For once in her life, Buffy will have to rely on someone else to fight for her.

DISCLAIMER: Everything is owned by Joss and Mutant Enemy. He is God and I’m his servant. I’m merely using his creation to entertain myself and others.

SPOILERS: Alternate season 7

RATING: Rated R for violence and language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He couldn’t think. Couldn’t close his eyes for a second. Because every time he did, he would see it again. Buffy’s broken body on a pile of concrete. Sometimes, the image was replaced with her drained body, lying lifeless at Angelus’ feet. Or tortured to death, every bones in her body broken, her beautiful eyes staring blankly at him in accusation. No, he couldn’t think. While he was keeping himself busy, figuring out where Angelus could hide her, calling Dawn for updates, calling the others to make sure they didn’t find anything, making plans, he didn’t have time to imagine things like that. He knew pretty well that if he stopped for a second, he would break down and wouldn’t get up again. Then he’d be useless to her. So he let the rage replace the dread and fear in his heart, and he kept searching for her, thinking of what he would do to Angelus when he’d find them.

She had been gone for twelve hours now. Twelve hours of searching without any result. Spike was now going through the sewers, waiting for the sun to set. He knew he wouldn’t find her there, but he hoped to stumble across some lonely demon he could beat to a bloody pulp to get information.

So far, he had raided the old mansion and found nothing but dust and spider webs. Faith’s apartment had been cleared out completely. They had been there, he could smell the human presence, but they were long gone now. Same shit at the old factory. And the Bronze had been a complete waste of time. Then, the sun had came up and he had to duck into the nearest sewer entrance. Around noon, he had called the others and told them to go get a few hours of sleep. They wouldn’t be of any help if they’d pass out from exhaustion. While they were sleeping, Red was going to try a few more locator spells after the first one failed miserably.

Spike almost jumped out of his skin when the cellphone rang, splashing dirty water everywhere. He swore under his breath.

His voice was tensed when he answered. “Yes.”

“Spike, it’s Willow.”

“What is it Red.”

“I just wanted to let you know that I tried every locator spells I know, and some I don’t know, and there is no use. There seems to be magic involved. It’s blocking all me efforts. Even if… even if s-something happened to her, I-I should still be able to locate her.”

“It’s fine. Thanks for trying. But if you can, try to find what kind of spell is blocking you and see if you can work around it, or find out where it’s coming from.”

“Yeah, I can do that. Of course.”

“And could you wake the wankers? They’ve been sleeping for almost four hours now. We need them. I’m still stuck down here for another two hours and obviously, it’s not getting me anywhere near finding Buffy.”

“Sure…”

“And one last thing. Try to find anything you can about mind control. I have good reasons to think Angelus and Faith have a few guys who can pull off that kind of mojo in their league. We need to protect ourselves against that if we want to be able to fight what’s coming.”

“Sure. I’m on it.”

“…”

“Spike?.. Hello?”

The redhead shook her head sadly and turned the cellphone off.

* Please Goddess, let him find her soon, and alive, before he breaks down *

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m so disappointed in you Buff!” Angelus grabbed the face of the beaten up girl roughly with one hand to force her to look up. “You’ve been out for at least twenty minutes after the last round.” He snickered with contempt. “And she calls herself a Slayer.”

He slowly licked the blood dripping on the side of her face from a head injury. “Funny. I was expecting you to black out after the hot poker piercing through your guts, not after a broken knee. Broken knee?! You’re so pathetic Buff. I thought you were much tougher than that.” He gave her a nasty smile. “Let’s toughen you up a little, shall we.”

He took a swing at her and smashed his fist into her jaw. Her head snapped back with the impact, but no sounds of pain came out of her. She spat blood in his face and just smiled.

Angelus wiped the blood from his face furiously, then took a good look at the girl.

“Jesus fucking Christ! You still think he will come to rescue you, don’t you! Buffy, we are in the middle of fucking nowhere. No one will come for you here. Neither your friends, nor your soulful Superman with fangs. There is no option for you little girl. That is all there is, pain, followed by death. That is the story of your future, and of your ending. There is nothing else to it. No: “And they lived happily ever after”. That’s for fairytales. The end of your book is much different. It sounds more like: “And she died lonely and in pain.” Now that’s a book I would read!”

Buffy tried to speak, and Angelus had to get closer to hear what she was saying, her voice low and cut with ragged, painful, breath. “Are you… ever.. tired of… hearing yourself talking?”

He just looked at her straight in the eyes, then pulled the poker out of her body, making her howl in pain.

“No. Never.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eleven O’clock. In less than four hours, it would be twenty-four hours. Spike knew that the more hours passed, the less chances he had to find Buffy alive. Yes, Angelus loved to play with his preys, but how long would he keep her alive?

The blond vampire left the dock area empty-handed. He had been through every hangar, but found nothing. Another waste of his precious time. Now he’d had it. He walked quickly through the familiar streets of Sunnydale, his steps echoing into the empty night. He was heading to an equally familiar place.

Sure, Giles had said he got everything possible out of Willie, but Spike decided that maybe the old man hadn’t been convincing enough.

Going through the alley, Spike opened the back door and went straight for the bartender. Grabbing Willie by the throat, he dragged the short man to the back room and threw him into one of those industrial size refrigerators. He had to be careful not to hurt him to avoid setting off the chip. Spike walked right to him in a threatening way and the little man tried to protect himself from the attack by raising his arms to his head, forgetting that Spike couldn’t really hurt him.

“Have you completely lost your mind?! I don’t know anything! Leave me alone!”

Ignoring Willie’s pleas, Spike grabbed Willie by the throat again, and lifted him off the floor, almost choking him. The chip gave a warning, but Spike ignored it.

“I want to know everything you know about the Slayer’s disappearance. And if you don’t know anything, I would suggest you to come up with something fast before I kill you. And it won’t be a quick death. Believe me, I’m mentally prepared to endure the pain in my brain. I’m planning on chopping you into little pieces and…”

“Arhmeemhuhhhggrlll”

“What’s that?”

Willie motioned to his throat.

“Oh. Yeah, right. Sorry mate, guess you need air to talk.”

“I don’t know anything. But those two guys sitting at the bar? They do. I know you won’t believe me, but I was about to call Giles to let him know. Believe what you want, but I do like that little Slayer and I have a thing or two against Angelus. There was no need for violence.” Willie added, massaging his painful throat. “Those guys, I heard them mentioning Angelus and controlling the Slayer.”

Spike turned to leave. “Thanks mate, sorry bout that.”

“Spike! Wait!”

He stopped at the back room door and turned to Willie.

“Those guys are mind controllers. That’s their thing. They are a half-breed, like vampires, so they look human but they have that power to play with your brain and make you do whatever they want. You have to be careful and take them by surprise. And if they talk, let your mind go blank. They can only do their mojo if you are unaware.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Leaving Willie behind, Spike walked straight to where the two guys were sitting at the bar. Without a moment of hesitation, Spike grabbed both their heads and knocked them together, effectively rending them unconscious. Taking one of the two guys under his arms, he dragged him out under the curious looks of Willie’s customers.

“Night everyone, hope you enjoy your evening!”

When Spike judged that they were far enough, he dropped the guy to the ground and kicked him in the ribs.

“Wake up nasty little bugger, time to spill the beans and tell uncle Spike what you did with his girlfriend.”

The man groaned in pain than slowly turned himself on his back to look at Spike. When his eyes started glowing, Spike blocked any thoughts from his mind. Grabbing the axe he was carrying on his back, he swung it at the man’s wrist. The man screamed in pain, holding his bloody limb to his chest.

“Every time you try to use you’re hocus pocus on me mate, you lose a piece. Understood?”

The guy nodded and cast his eyes down.

“What’s you’re name wanker?”

“Why does it matter?”

Spike crouched in front of him, and punched him in the face. “I’m the one asking questions. And it bloody matters because I usually like to know the name of the people I’m torturing for information. Just a formality, really.”

“I’m Larriorus.”

“Good. Now Larry, you and I are gonna get along just fine if you tell me in details what you did last night between two and three am.”

“Was watching TV…”

Spike slammed the head of the axe in Larry’s stomach and he doubled in pain.

“Wrong answer mate.” He grabbed Larry by his shirt and made him stand up, slamming his back against the brick wall. “But then again, maybe my question wasn’t specific enough. What the fuck did you do with my Slayer? If you want to keep your other hand, you should think twice about giving me some smart-ass answer. And remember, I can keep you alive for a very long time. Angelus is the one who taught me the art of torture.”

Larry, despite being half demon, was not a very courageous one. Shaking in fear, scared to use his power and lose another limb… maybe something more important than a hand, he gave in.

“In the woods!! She’s in the woods with Angelus and the other Slayer! Now let me go, please, let me go…”

“Whoa, not so fast mate. Where in the woods?”

“When… when you go to the end of St Peter’s park, you can enter the woods there. You walk about four miles north, and you should find an old abandoned house. That’s where he keeps her. But… she’s probably dead by now buddy.”

“I’d pray for her to be alive if I were you my friend. Cause if she isn’t, You die too. Let’s go.”

“What? But I told you what I know! You’re supposed to leave me alone now. Why aren’t you leaving me alone?”

“Because I’m not as thick as you seem to think I am. If the information you gave me is wrong, if Buffy is not there, you will beg me to kill you, believe me. Let’s go, we don’t have time to waste.” He grabbed Larry’s jacket and pulled him along with him.

“And don’t you try anything funny. Or you will find out why they call me William the Bloody.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn and Cordelia were sitting in the kitchen, facing each other. Neither of them was talking. They glanced at the clock regularly, then at the phone. It was midnight, and the waiting was getting to be too much for their nerves.

Hearing the kettle whistling, Cordelia jumped to her feet, glad to finally find something to do with herself. She prepared a tea for herself, and a hot chocolate for Dawn. But she dropped both cups when she was hit by a vision.

Startled, Dawn shrieked. “Cordelia! Are you ok? What’s going on?”

Slowly coming back, Cordelia’s eyes filled up with tears. “Oh God… Buffy.”

Panicked about her sister’s fate, Dawn shook Cordelia roughly. “What? What did you see?! Is she alive? Cordelia! Answer! Is she alive?”

Wiping the tears from her face, Cordy took a deep breath. “Yes. She’s still alive. I don’t know for how long though. She’s… not in the best of shape. She looked pretty bad. They have to find her now.”

Dawn started crying for her sister. Cordelia pulled her into her arms. “Shh honey, it’s gonna be alright. Spike will find her. I’m sure he will. He’ll get her back for you.”

“What… what else did you see?”

“Just feelings honey. Nothing concrete. Just that the fate of the world depends on a vampire in love, and the decision of a very fragile and unstable girl. At the last minute, it will all come down to that. Which side she chooses.”

“You mean… Faith?”

“Yeah.”

Dawn hung her head low. “We’re so screwed.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faith was woken by Buffy’s screams. Again. She tried to put a pillow over her head to block the god-awful sounds, but nothing would do. She had never been that disgusted with herself in her entire life. Sure, while in jail, she dreamt of killing Buffy almost every night. That’s what had kept her alive. But she fantasized about a clean fight. A winner, a loser. May the best Slayer win. Not this. But the worse part was to realize that you are a coward. Preferring to hide and loathe yourself rather than standing up for what you believe is right.

*But then again, that pretty much sums up my whole fucking life* Faith thought bitterly. *Always favored my safety to my true self. Choosing the safe side, no matter how wrong it is. Letting jealousy and anger control my actions. Yep, that’s me alright. Faith, the failure. Faith, the screw up. Hopeless Faith. Worthless Faith. Then I spend hours in bed wondering why nobody ever believed in me.*

She put the pillow back over her head.

“Screw them!”

But after a few more gut wrenching screams, she got up with a sigh. “Fuck that. Let’s get the hell out of here before I lose my mind.”

Walking into the living room section of the old decrepit house, Faith looked around her. Spotting what she was looking for on the table, she walked to it, and just sat nonchalantly on the table. Looking as natural as she could.

“Finally decided to join the fun my sweet?”

“Hum, yeah, I guess.” She yawned, hiding her mouth behind her hand, then put her hand back down on the table, and over the keys for Buffy’s shackles.

Angelus grinned happily. “I knew you would come around. Let me get something from my bag, I’m sure you’ll like it.”

He went to the other end of the room and Faith took the opportunity to get closer from Buffy. She pretended to examine her, then dropped the keys by Buffy’s right foot. The girl automatically stepped on it to hide it from Angelus.

Faith looked at her in the eyes, and murmured: “Good luck.” Than she turned around to face Angelus, a bored look on her face.

“You know what? Forget it. I’m bored out of my fucking mind. I’m out of here. Thought we were supposed to kill the girl, not torture her for days. This is getting real old real fast.”

Angelus’ face fell comically. “But… I don’t think you understand torture Slayer. It’s half the fun. It’s like sex. Torture is like the foreplay of killing. The longer the foreplay, the better the orgasm.”

“Whatever. Have a really good orgasm Angelus, personally, I have more important things to do. I have to prepare for the ritual. It will be tomorrow night, and I’d like to be ready.”

Faith locked eyes with Buffy for a second to make sure the girl was listening.

“You two have fun. Just don’t wake the neighbors.”

“Fine. Whatever. Go practice your stupid ritual. You already know it by heart anyway you stupid bitch. While you do that, Buff and I will have some more fun together before I slice her throat and drain her.”

But Faith was already out the door.

“Well, that leaves you and I honey. You’re not a big talker, but I’m sure we’ll manage to find something to keep us entertained anyway. Or you could just scream if you’d prefer. You seem to be quite good at that.”

Buffy didn’t answer, concentrating on slowing down her breathing to save her energy for what was to come.

Angelus moved a few things around, then sighed. “I’m feeling a bit peckish. With all that blood smell and all. What do you say we take a bloodbreak? I know you can’t wait for what’s coming next, but I work better on a full stomach. I’ll be right back sweetie.” With that, he left the room.

Not sure how long she had, Buffy decided to act fast. Taking a deep breath and bracing herself against the pain that would without any doubt follow, she kicked her legs up above her head, trying to get the key she was holding between her toes. There was not word to describe the pain in her left knee, in her ribs and her torso. She fought against the darkness that threatened to engulf her, and the scream that wanted to come out of her mouth. She got a hold on the key, and trying to will her numb fingers not to drop it, she started working on the lock. After a few unsuccessful tries, she finally managed to get it open and she dropped limply to the floor.

Buffy held back a sob when she realized just how far she had to go, and that Angelus would probably catch her before she could even make it to the door. She was not even sure if she would have enough strength to make it there, more or less to fight him if he came back. She was now crying uncontrollably at the hopelessness of her situation, understanding that she would die soon and her efforts had been for nothing.

She was just about to give up and pass out when she felt something warm and soft enveloping her, and arms lifting her off the ground. She let out a long agonizing moan at the pain ripping through her body. When the pain calmed down enough for her to be able to breathe again, she tried to open her eyes to see what was going on.

“It’s ok luv, I’ve got you.”

Buffy managed to smile. “I told him you would come for me.” Then she let herself drown into the darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The phone rang. Spike hadn’t called in more than an hour and Dawn was worried sick. She ran to answer it.

“Spike?”

“Niblet, you and Cordelia jump in a cab and meet me at Santa Maria hospital. Be there as fast as you can, and bring some of Buffy’s stuff. I found her. Hurry.”

Dawn’s heart beat wildly in her chest.

“We’re on our way.”

“Oh, and call the others too, I don’t have time.”

“I’ll put Cordelia on it while I pack Buffy’s stuff.” Dawn hesitated for a moment, scared of the answer. “Spike?… Will she be alright?”

“I don’t know Dawny. I hope so. Sorry, I have to go, the doc is here.”

And they both hung up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the gang walked into the hospital room, their hearts sank in at the sight of the empty bed and Spike sitting in the armchair, his head in his hands. But the nurse who ushered them in clarified the situation.

“Miss Summers is in the surgery room right now. The doctor is trying to stop some internal bleeding. She should be back in about two hours, but you won’t be allowed to stay.”

Giles thanked the nurse, and Dawn pushed past them to run to Spike. They hugged in silence for a while then he let go of her.

Giles finally managed to talk. “How was she… what happened?”

“Not well. The wanker got her real bad. He tortured her. Lots of nasty burns and cuts. He stabbed her many times too. She seemed to have a head injury and I don’t think she’ll be able to use her left leg for a while. He knew what he was doing and obviously, he planed on keeping her alive a lot longer. Which is probably why she still has a chance. The doctors are trying to assess the damages as we speak and fix what they can fix. Hopefully she’ll heal fast enough. But she was in so much pain…” his voice broke.

“How did you find her?” Xander asked in a shaky voice.

“Beat the shit out of some pillock who did mind controlling mojo on her. He cried like a baby and brought me straight to the house in the woods where Angelus had her.”

“Was that the guy who paralyzed me in the park the other day?” Dawn asked.

“Yeah little bit, I think so. Thank God they didn’t use it to hurt you. I also think that’s how they got people to work on the Hellmouth.”

Willow sat on one of the plastic chairs by the window, her hands between her knees. “That would explain it. Why else would all these people decide to spend their evening working on the rubbles? How come it didn’t work on you Spike?”

The vampire rubbed his eyes wearily before answering. “Willie warned me. When the bloke tried to use his power…” he glanced at Dawn before continuing “I chopped off his right hand. He decided it was safer not to try anything else if he wanted to keep the rest of his limbs intact.”

"Would you say that guy was human or demon?" Anya asked. "Because there's many different type of demon who can pull that off. Ciscar demons don't have that power from birth, but they often learn how to do it. And I met that Lyrr demon seven hundred years ago who..."

"Some kind of halfbreed. Like vampires. He looked human."

"Oh. I see. That's probably a Peehry demon then. Very common in Russia and Western Europe but I never met one in North America. Probably imported by Wolfram&Hart. They're clever." Anya added, a hint of admiration in her voice.

“Is he still on the loose?” Giles sat on the bed facing Spike.

“No. But he wasn’t alone, and I didn’t get the other guy. Besides, there could be more of these bloody wankers running around Sunnydale for all I know. They could creep up on us at anytime. Since they look human, no one will get suspicious until it’s too late. If you know what’s happening, it’s fairly easy to block any thoughts from your brain so they can’t control you. But it’s risky because you don’t need to be looking at them for it to work. They can just come from behind and then it would be too late. So we need some kind of spell to block them out. The fight could be lost in advance if we don’t protect ourselves against that threat.”

Giles sighed. “I agree with you completely. Willow? Do you think…”

“I already started to research it.” At Giles’ surprised look she explained. “Spike already asked me to look into it earlier today.”

Giles shook his head and wondered why he was surprised. **This is the Spike who used to make plans, give orders and control a bunch of minions.** He shivered slightly at the thought. **If he hadn’t been so distracted with Drusilla’s health back then, we would probably all be dead today**. But Giles knew that this was a different Spike he was faced with now. He also realized that taking control of things was what kept the vampire from crumbling down.

“Please continue Willow. Did you find anything relevant?”

“Well… yes and no. Sure I found pretty efficient spells, but they put you in a trance. Which isn’t the best thing if you are in the middle of an apocalyptic fight. But just before Cordelia called to tell us Buffy was here, I was just getting into some spells to strengthen your control over your own mind. That could work I think.”

“You think or you’re sure Red? This is vital to the issue of the fight.”

“I would need to look deeper into it before answering. I need to double-check every details of the spell to make sure it won’t backfire on us. But I brought the book with me.”

Spike smiled slightly. “Good thinking.” He turned to Xander who had kept quiet for once. “Harris, I know you want to see Buffy, but later on, I would need you to go home and gather all the weapons and put them in the trunk of your car. I have a feeling the showdown is coming sooner than we think. Might as well have everything we need with us. Willow, you’ll go with him and get all the magical supplies you think you might need for every eventualities.”

“Yes sergeant.” Xander answered with a half smile.

Spike just rolled his eyes at him, but the usual tension between them was gone and replaced by some kind of understanding.

When all was said and done, all that was left was the waiting. Spike went back to his initial position, with his head in his hands, Dawn sitting on the armrest next to him. Cordelia was standing next to them, petting Dawn's long hair comfortingly. Xander played nervously with everything he could find, with Anya patting his back awkwardly and Giles glaring at them periodically while Willow looked through her book. They all looked at the clock every three minutes or so.

The doctor finally entered the room two and a half-hour later, alone. Spike tried to swallow, but it tasted like hashes. He stood up.

“Mr. Summers? May I have a word with you in private?”

It took a while for Spike to remember that he was supposed to be Mr. Summers, and a few more seconds to be able to answer him. “Whatever it is you have to say, you can say it in front of these people. They are family.”

“As you wish sir. Ms. Summers is in the recovery room as we speak. The surgery took longer because we had to be careful with her ribs. The way they were broken, they could have pierced her lungs. There were no real hemorrhages. Well, nothing to be alarmed of anyway. Seems like she was stabbed with something really hot because the flesh was cauterized. That’s why she didn’t bleed herself to death. I’m fairly certain she will recover, but she will need surgery for her left knee if she wants to be able to use her leg again. If we let it heal like that, chances are she’ll never be able to bend that knee again. So we’ll let her recover until Friday morning, then we’ll fix that knee.”

“But… she’s ok, right?.. She’s not gonna die, is she?” Spike asked, not sure of what to make of the doctor's words.

The doctor smiled comfortingly. “We’ll keep her under close observation for the next twenty-four hours, but she seems to be a strong girl. I think she’s out of danger. Now, she’s been in and out of consciousness in the recovery room, even said a few words, so it’s time to get her back here. I’ll ask you to leave, she needs to rest. You can go home, or stay in the waiting room if you wish.” With this, the doctor turned and left.

Spike let himself back down in the armchair. With all the emotion, he could swear his heart was beating.

* She’s all right… She’s all right… She’s not gonna die…* Giles got up. He cleared his throat when he saw that nobody was moving. “I think.. We should listen to the doctor and let Buffy rest. Now that we know she’ll be fine, we can come back in the morning.”

They all started walking towards the door reluctantly, except for Spike and Dawn. Giles stopped to look at Spike. “You have no intention on leaving the room, do you.”

“They’ll have to fucking drag me out of here by my hair, and possibly stake me.”

“Please don’t make a scene.”

“I’m not leaving her alone again.”

“Good lord you can be stubborn. You’re worst than she is.”

Two nurses walked in pushing a stretcher. Willow gasped and grabbed Cordelia’s hand at the sigh of Buffy’s face. The entire right side was black and blue and there was still some dried blood in her blonde hair. Cordelia put her arm around Willow’s shoulders, and led her out of the room. Xander followed them. Giles wanted to stay a little longer to make sure they would leave Spike alone--or that the vampire wouldn't kill a nurse who would try to get him to leave.

The two nurses grabbed each their corners of the sheet under Buffy and switched her from the stretcher to the bed in one quick motion. A soft moan escaped Buffy’s lips and Spike was by her side at vampiric speed.

She opened her eyes and blinked, looking around herself wildly until she finally saw him. “Spike?…”

He took her hand and squeezed it lightly. “It’s ok luv, I’m here. You’re safe now.”

She blinked back tears and closed her eyes to sleep.

“Sir? You have to leave now.”

“…”

“The doctor’s order was that…”

“Sod off. I’m not going anywhere.”

Giles took Spike’s arm and tried to pull him away, but at the loss of his hand, Buffy opened wide, panicked, eyes. “Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me alone! Please…”

Spike broke Giles’ hold on his arm, and pulling a chair, he sat next to Buffy’s bed and took her hand again. “I’m not leaving you.”

She automatically calmed down, and closed her eyes again. Not wanting to fight, the nurses left the room, followed by Giles and Dawn.

When the doctor came back an hour later and saw his patient asleep with the blonde man sitting next to her, he tried again, with the same results. As soon as Buffy heard the request for Spike to leave the room, she opened her eyes again and squeezed his hand so hard that she almost broke all his bones. Spike barely frowned.

The doctor looked at the scene, horrified. “Jesus Christ! Are you all right? She’s strong. Let me take a look at your hand, this must hurt…”

“Not nearly as much as she’s hurting.” Spike answered through clenched teeth.

Mouth still gapping, the doctor shook his head, and seeing that his patient went back to sleep, decided that he might as well let it be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faith was just turning around when she found herself violently slammed against the wall by an out of control vampire in full game face.

“You let her go you fucking dead bitch! How could you let her go!?”

“Whoa big boy, back off and calm down. Matter of semantic really. A choice of words. You say ‘let go’ but I’d rather say that I merely added a variant into the equation. Made things more exciting. I just wanted to see if a half-dead girl, who had been through hours of torture, could manage to get a key from the floor to her hands locked above her head and escape. Scientific experiment, nothing else.” She gave Angelus her sweetest smile.

“I’m gonna rip your head off you stupid cow…”

“Hey! Is it my fault if even half-dead, Buffy still bested you? Face it Angelus, you’re pathetic…”

Angelus got yanked away from Faith just as he was about to rip her throat open with his fangs.

“Enough! Will you two stop acting like kids? Could you try to see the bigger picture instead of focusing on your own little personal issues?” Lilah looked positively furious. “God damn it! The ritual is tomorrow night, can’t it wait? You’ll have eternity to make the little bitch pay for whatever the hell it is she’s supposed to pay for. Grow up already.”

The Slayer and Angelus glared at each other with daggers in their eyes. He growled threateningly and walked away leaving the two women together.

“Enough games Faith.”

“Games? What the Hell are you talking about? I’m not the one playing games, it’s that stupid dumb ass who can’t…”

“Enough!” Lilah took a deep breath to calm herself down before she would lose control and finish what Angelus had started. “Are you ready for tomorrow night?”

“Sure. Do I look dumb? How hard is it? Put black robe on, chant, chant, bla, bla, chant, bla, big blast of evil energy going through me, than the underworld belongs to us. Well, to be more specific, to me.”

“I’m not kidding Faith. There is no rehearsal. No second chance. You must know all the words by heart and be ready not to let anything interrupt you. We’re gonna have people guarding the perimeter, but you never know what could happen. Do you understand? If they find out the ritual is tomorrow and try to interrupt it, we’ll do anything possible to keep them away from you, but if one of them comes too close, you must keep chanting no matter what. Are you ready?”

Faith remained silent for a moment, then nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late morning, and Spike was asleep with his head on the pillow next to Buffy’s, his hand holding hers.

She had woken up in pain twice during the night, and Spike had nearly dragged the nurse to the room so she would give her something against the pain. They probably thought he was a psycho, pain in the ass, boyfriend, but there was no way in Hell he was gonna let her feel anymore pain after what she went through already.

She’d had nightmares, trashing in her sleep, and he had stayed awake to comfort her the best he could. But as soon as she seemed more peaceful, he let go and fell asleep, completely exhausted physically and mentally.

Giles had come into the room just before sunrise and shut the curtains to make sure Spike wouldn’t wake up in flames. After checking on them, he had gone back to the waiting room where the Scoobies were sound asleep in uncomfortable plastic chairs.

Buffy slowly woke up, trying to remember where she was and what happened. She regretted it when the memories came flowing back. She closed her eyes tightly to hold back the tears. She had always been the tough one, the strong one, created to endure pain, and being weak was not something Buffy Summers had an easy time dealing with. The entire time it had lasted, it wasn’t the pain that was wearing her down, it was the fact that the pain was too much for her to bear. She had been weak, and she hated every second of it. That, and the loneliness. The feeling of loneliness never get any stronger than when you are in pain. Because you are alone in it. It’s already hard enough when you are surrounded by your loved ones, there is no words to describe it when you are surrounded by hate. Panic was threatening to invade her as she remembered the last hours.

“It’s over Buffy. You’re safe and I won’t let anything happen to you, ever again.”

She tried to move in the bed, wanted to be in his arms, but she couldn’t. The pain stopped her and it upset her even more. Seeing that, Spike tried to lie down next to her and put his arms around her small form, being careful not to hurt her. She calmed down, trying to regain control of herself.

They both lay there, in silence, until her tears dried out.

“I can’t start to imagine what you’ve been through. I am so sorry luv. It is all my fault.” Spike felt the adrenaline that had been holding him up for the past thirty-something hours leaving him, and tears started filling up his eyes. He wiped at them angrily. “All my bloody fault! I threw you in his arms.”

Buffy pushed weakly on his chest so she could look at him in the eyes. “What the hell are you talking about. It’s not your fault.”

“Yes. It is. If it wasn’t for my God damn smokes, you would have been safely tucked in bed.”

“Spike, stop it. I don’t know why you’re trying to blame this on yourself, but it’s nobody’s fault, especially not yours. I wanted to go out. I chose to. You didn’t even ask me to, you wanted me to stay, remember? I went because I wanted to. And if it weren’t for your cigarettes, I would have still gone anyway. I had decided I wanted ice cream, and you know how stubborn I can be…”

“I shouldn’t have let you go by yourself. Not after the fight we just had with the wanker and his cow. It never even crossed my mind that it was dangerous. I should have been there with you.”

Buffy let herself back down on the thin hospital pillow and looked at him through heavy eyelids. “Then what? The two of us would have been kidnapped and tortured? Who would have saved me if he had taken you too? He would have, you know. You wouldn’t have been able to do anything more than I did. They would have just taken the two of us instead of just me. This guy took complete control of my body; he was making me follow them like an obedient little dog. It would have been the same if you were there, and we would probably be dead by now.” She closed her eyes, exhausted. “So I’m gonna say this one more time, and I never want to hear it again. It wasn’t your fault.”

Spike put his head on the pillow next to hers. “What would I have done without you?” he asked in a soft voice filled with fear and pain. All the fear and pain he had accumulated over the last thirty hours. She heard it. Understood it. And at that moment, she knew that she hadn’t been alone after all. He had been there with her every step of the way. Terrified, just like her. For her.

“Don’t think like that, ok? I’m here, I’m ok, that’s all that matters.”

They stayed silent for a while. Spike thought she was sleeping, but she suddenly opened her eyes. “What time is it?”

“What?..”

“What time is it Spike? It’s important…”

He got up to look at the clock in the hall in front of her room. “It’s 11am luv. Why?”

“It’s happening tonight. We don’t have much time left. Go get the others.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy tried to sit up when they walked in but she soon gave up. Spike came to stand next to her. He was shifting from one foot to the other, uncomfortable under the other’s look. The night before, they had seen him in an emotional state he couldn’t even begin to describe. None of the usual bravado… Just him, William, worried sick for the woman he loved. And now, he couldn’t help but feeling naked in front of them. So he put on his best detached face, and waited for what Buffy had to say.

The Scoobies didn’t look anymore comfortable than Spike did. Too much emotions over such a short period of time. An eternity for Buffy, but too short for the ones who were looking for her and losing hope with every passing hour. Lack of sleep, worry, fear, relief; it all wore them down. And now, they were all standing in front of her, unsure of how to react. Was she in too much pain for hugs? Was it a bad time for chocolates and flowers?

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Geez guys, I’m not dead. Were they handing out the long faces at the door, or is it just the hospital food that has that effect?”

Xander smiled first and approached her to give her a quick kiss on the forehead. “Hey Buff. Glad to see you’re still very much yourself.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Willow said while waiting her turn to hug her friend “we were just worried sick about you. That would explain the long faces.”

“And if we’re a little gray,” Cordelia added, “it’s because that thing they serve here and call coffee is poison.”

Buffy gave Cordelia a half smile.

Anya wave awkwardly at Buffy. "Hey Buffy. You look..." she swallowed, obviously trying hard not to be her usual blunt self.

"It's ok Anya, you can say it. I look like shit."

"No, no! You look good. Blue... is a good color for you."

Xander groaned.

Anya gave him a look. "What? She's the one who said that.."

Giles took a seat next to her bed, putting an end to Anya's rant before it got too far. “How are you feeling Buffy?”

“Well, you know how my life is right? Not much time to indulge in the luxury of self-pity. I asked you here because I need to share the little information that I have. Meaning pretty much nothing, but we still need to figure out what to do.” She stopped to catch her breath. Her broken ribs not allowing her to fill up her lungs completely, she was getting out of breath pretty fast. “First, you need to know we might have a chance to win Faith over. Ok, I admit, the chances are pretty slim considering that it took about 30 hours of hearing me scream in pain for her to finally have mercy on me, but still… she did.”

“What do you mean by that exactly?”

“She gave me the key. Of course, she could have been more helpful: stake Angelus, untie me, get me to the nearest hospital. Giving me the key obviously wasn’t gonna save me, I couldn’t even stand on my own, more or less fight Angelus. But it’s a sign that maybe we can reach her. Oh, and she also told me the ritual will be tonight. That means I’m out of the fight.” She smiled at Cordelia. “I guess they can’t fool you Cordy, huh?”

The brunette smiled back. “Nah. They can’t. And about what you said, I mean, about Faith… You’re right. Last night, a couple of hours before they found you, I had another vision. It wasn’t clear, but it confirmed what you just said. It will, somehow, depend on her choices. Oh… and you Spike.”

Spike, who was looking at his boots, raised his eyebrows to look questioningly at Cordelia, but Buffy spoke before he could ask questions.

“Yeah, that kinda brings me to this..”

He looked at her. “Will you take over for me?”

Everybody heard it, but the words were spoken only for him.

“It goes without saying pet.”

“Good.” She smiled and closed her eyes. “It should feel good to have some vacation for a change. I’ll try not to get used to it too much though.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So Harris, now that you and Red saw Buffy, you’re off to get weapons like we talked about earlier.” Spike had taken his jacket off and was now addressing the Scoobies, taking his role as the replacement leader seriously.

Buffy was surprised by his change of attitude, but it was a nice change. She knew he had it in him to take charge, but he never really bothered. Taking the second place next to her, satisfying himself by bitching, making snarky comments and dragging his feet as the reluctant sidekick. Fighting was more his thing, but he could also be a great leader. Something she had always known deep down. “Red, how’s that spell doing? Will it work?”

Willow smiled proudly. “Affirmative Sir. That’s a big yes.”

“Bloody awesome. So you’ll get whatever supplies you need from Buffy’s home, or stop by your place and the magic box if you must, but do it fast. Rup and I will stay here and try to come up with a plan.” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, frowning a little. “Of course, it’d be easier if one of us had been on the site and we knew what the bloody hell we’re getting ourselves into, but it will have to do. We’ll try to see if Cordelia remembers any more details from her visions.”

“I’m starting to feel a little ignored here. What about me? I’m sure I could do something…”

“I didn’t forget about you luv. Anyanka, if you agree to it, you’ll fight with us tonight. You’re the strongest one besides me, so it would be great if you’d accept…”

“Of course! I’ve been holding back lately because Xander don't like it when I maim people, even for vengeance. Go figure." The vengeance demon pouted before continuig. "A little bit of violence will do me good. I’m sure you know what I mean, soul or no soul.”

“Sure thing ducks. Gotta let the pressure out, and tonight’s the right time to do it.” He turned and frowned when he saw Willow and Xander still standing there. “Red, Whelp, you still here?”

“Huh… on our way boss.” And they were out the door. Spike just rolled his eyes and turned back to Anya and Giles to discuss what they were going to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So are you sure you have everything Will? Wouldn’t want General Fangface going all scary on you now would we?” Xander put the car on reverse and pulled out of Willow’s driveway. They had stopped by Willow’s place to gather the magical supplies she would need to protect them against the mind control.

“Yup, no worries, it’s all good. It will work like a charm, I guaranty it. It’s really simple, I just had to think about it.”

She gave Xander a quick glance and automatically felt the need to reassure him. “Xand… It’s ok you know. I’m fine, I really am. I can handle this, I promise you. No more scary veiny Willow. Black eyed, maybe, but no veins.”

“It’s not funny Will, I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all. Spike implied that you will be going with him and Anya tonight. I think it’s a very bad idea.”

“You’ll have to trust me Xander. I know my limits now. I also know that emotion is a bad factor in magic and I’ll never let it overpower me again. I’ve been practicing you know. More than you know about. Lots of exercises and meditation. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to scare you. But I’m ready for this. You’ll just have to believe in me.” She put her hand on his arm. “Can you do this? For me?”

Xander grumbled a little but finally agreed. “Sure. You know better I guess… Ok, fine, I trust you.”

“Good. Then you’ll have to prove it to me now. Stop the car.”

“Huh?”

“Stop the car, Xander. Now.”

Xander slowed down, then put on the brakes. They were in front of the old High School. “Will… What are we doing here?”

But when he turned to look at the redheaded witch, she wasn’t there anymore.

“What the hell!?”

Willow’s laugh answered him. “I’m still here.” The car door opened. “Don’t worry, it’s just a simple glamour. Spike gave me the idea when he complained that none of us had been on the site yet. So this idea came popping into my mind. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier. I won’t be long. I’ll just take a look, see if I couldn’t find out something that will help us tonight.”

Xander’s eyes were reflecting complete horror and panic. “Are you out of your mind?! Willow Rosenberg, there’s no way I’m letting you go in there by yourself! If they could block your locator spells, maybe they can break your glamour…”

“I’ll be careful, I’ll stay hidden in case it doesn’t hold. Sorry Xander, but this could be vital. I’ll only be a minute, promise.”

“Willow?… Willow! Damn it!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow walked into Buffy’s hospital room followed by a gloomy Xander.

“I still think that was the stupidest idea you ever came up with!”

“Oh please Xander, would you give it a rest already?”

All eyes were on them as they kept bickering. Willow was carrying a gym bag on her shoulder. She dropped it on the floor. “Magical supplies.” She explained. Then, walking to where Spike was sitting, she put what looked like black cloaks down on the chair next to him. “And our backstage passes to the biggest event of the year.”

Puzzled, Spike examined the five hooded cloaks. “What the bleedin hell is this?”

“That happens to be the official uniform of the bringers of the Apocalypse. Oh, and if you want any information about tonight, just ask. Time, ritual, what the surroundings look like, how many people will attend…”

“What? How?..”

“Don’t ask. She thought it would be fun to pull a Buffy on me… “

“Pull a what?” Spike looked like he was trying hard at making sense out of what the two were saying, but failing miserably.

“A Buffy. She made herself invisible like Buffy did last year… And now that I think of it, I so don’t want to know what I really walked into when you were doing those exercises in bed…”

“Could we please try to focus here?” Spike asked, clearly irritated.

“Sorry.”

Willow sighed and flopped down on a chair. “I made myself invisible with a glamour, and I sneaked into the old High School. I thought it would be nice to know what we’re up against. I stole those three cloaks from a pile. That’s what they’ll be wearing tonight for the ritual. This way, we can have the element of surprise.”

Willow seemed to be expecting praises, but Spike stayed silent for a moment. “So.. What do you say? Wasn’t it a great idea?”

“Red, a part of me wants to hug you, the other wants to shake you really badly.”

“What?.. But…”

“Do you realize how bad it would have been if those wankers got you? I can’t start to imagine the repercussions! What were you thinking Red?”

“EX-ACT-ly my point!” Xander said proudly. “I kept telling her but she wouldn’t listen.”

Willow pouted.

Spike continued. “But…” He suddenly hugged the girl fiercely. “Thank you so much for your carelessness!”

Xander protested vehemently. “What?! But.. And you encourage her?! But.. You.. What?!”

Spike slapped him upside the head affectionately, then put an arm around his shoulder. “You should be glad she took that risk whelp. Thanks to Red here, now I won’t have to use you as a distraction like I planned to.”

Buffy giggled a little from her bed at Xander’s offended look.

“Ha ha, real funny fangface.”

“Wasn’t trying to be funny. It was the original idea.”

Xander’s eyes widened comically and he went to sit down by the window, mumbling obscenities under his breath.

Spike smiled smugly. “What? It would have been an honorable death. Would have built a bleedin’ monument for you in the middle of Sunnyhell…" Xander gave him the finger. “A giant Harris carved in stone with a hammer in his hands… With a commemorative plaque and all.”

“Spike, leave him alone would you.” Willow rolled her eyes at the vampire.

“What? A bloke can’t have a bit of fun before the apocalypse? Bloody unfair if you ask me.” He went back to his spot next to Buffy, kissing her forehead before sitting down. “How are you holding on pet?”

“A little better after the nap, but I won’t be able to get a descent rest until the ordeal is over and everybody is safe and sound.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night was falling quickly over Sunnydale and in the small hospital room the tension was rising. Spike was pacing in anticipation of the fight to come, while Willow was putting away the magical supplies she had just used to cast a protection spell around the room. Like she said herself: “You never know what kind of evil thoughts can cross an evil mind. Better be safe than sorry.” So she made it so no evil could enter the room. Buffy was in not shape to defend herself, and all the scoobies with enough power or strength to fight would be at the old high school leaving her alone with Dawn and Cordelia. It would be child’s play for Angelus to send some of his men to take her.

“Spike, would you stop bouncing around like that? You’re making me nauseous.”

The blond vampire flashed his love a sheepish grin. “Sorry luv, adrenaline always does that to me.” He pulled a chair next to her and straddled it, resting his forearms on the back of the chair.

“I know. First thing I noticed about you, Mr. Antsy pants. Then I thought: ‘Great, now I have to stake hot guy with sexy British accent. Could my life suck anymore than that?’”

“Really?”

“Yeah… But then I found out just how cocky and annoying you are and it made things a little easier.”

Spike wiggled his eyebrows at her, and they exchanged a smile, both lost in their memories for a moment. Buffy finally broke the silence.

“Just make sure to come back in one piece, would you.” She said it just loud enough for him to hear.

“I promise.”

“You better keep that promise. Try not to let your feelings get control over you when you see him. I know you. You’ll want revenge and take risks. Don’t.”

“Buffy…”

“No. Just promise me you will stick to the plan and you won’t get yourself killed because of Angelus.”

Spike looked down and remained silent for a moment or two then finally nodded. “Alright luv, I promise.”

“Hey… Look at me.” She put a finger under his chin and tilted his head up. “We’ll get him later, ok? You’ll kick his ass as much as you want. Just not now.”

He smiled and kisses her lightly, mindful of her swollen lip. “I’ll be back before you know it. Try not to worry too much.” He got up and turned to face the Scoobies. “Wake up you bunch of wankers, it’s time to kick some bloody arses.”

They all got up and kissed Buffy before following Spike out of the room. But Buffy stopped Willow.

“Will, can you do me a favor?.. “

“Huh.. Sure… What?”

“Look after him. Watch his back for me, ok?”

“Of course Buffy but… Spike as proven again and again that he can take care of himself in battle. Don’t worry about him.”

“I know that Willow. He’s a great fighter, probably one of the best, if not the best I came across. But he’s also very hotheaded, impulsive and passionate. After what Angelus did to me, I’m afraid that when he’ll see him, he’ll lose control and do something stupid that will get him killed.”

The redhead nodded her understanding.

“I’ll just feel better if I know you’re keeping an eye on him… making sure he’ll come back to me, that’s all.”

Willow smiled to her friend and lay a reassuring hand on her frail shoulder. “Will do Buff. See you later.”

She left the room just as Dawn and Cordelia walked in. They looked at each other uncomfortably, realizing how long the waiting would be. Especially for Buffy who was so used to be part of the action.

“So, huh… You guys wanna play cards or something?”

Buffy groaned. *Yep, this is gonna be a looong night*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leap of Faith

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