Vol. 4, #4 Feb. 13, 2004

The Gospel of Emo Philips

Written by Christopher Mentzer

I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for."

"Like what?" he said.

I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?"

He said, "Religious."

I said, "Me too! Are you Christian, Buddhist or Muslim?"

"Christian."

"Me too!"

I said. "Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

He said, "Baptist."

I said, "Wow, me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

He said, "Baptist Church of God."

I said, "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God!"

I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915."

I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

Although this is a humorous reference to the general denominations, Emo Philips brings forth a very serious context. There are many churches out there and many offshoots. When I’m talking with people about worship they say, “All the churches out there say they are the right church. So how do I tell?” The answer is simple. See what the Bible says about the church and how it functions. Another way is to request a scripture reference for the things they practice and believe. Demand book, chapter and verse! If they are unable to or give an obscure passage, then it is likely they are not members of the Lord’s church. For there is only one church which is the body of Christ (Eph. 1: 22-23). The church is for instruction of the gospel not for potlucks, baseball teams, and car washes (1 Cor. 11: 22; Rom. 14: 17). Knowing what the Bible says about the New Testament Church helps eliminate about 97% of the churches today.