This is the official christening of my very first column, the Weekly Fume. I'm not quite sure how one goes about writing a column but here is my attempt at it so please, all those who wish to point and laugh leave now.

Alrighty, my topic for this week is on those annoying, aggravating IM windows that pop-up every 30 seconds with classic sayings like "Cum check out my webcam", "Taboo barnyard fun", and the ever popular "I'm all wet".

Oh, did I forget to mention that you should probably be 17 or older to read the Weekly Fume? I'm known for my…. colorful language and certain topics discussed here may not be appropriate for young ears. Please use your own judgement.

Anyway, back to those IM's. I surf the internet with AOL 6.0. On the IM screen there's a "Notify AOL" button and back in the day when I was idealistic and I believed the internet was actually comprised of wholesome individuals, I would regularly push that button whenever a vulgar IM popped up.

Do you know what came of it? Take a wild guess, you're all educated people (well, except for the 13 year olds who ignored my age warning and are still reading this column).

That's right, nothing.

::sigh of disgust::

Now those damn IM's are simply common place and even my Dad (who's 48 and exclaims "smut!" whenever he sees a teen magazine) doesn't bat an eye when they appear.

Arg! Does anyone else find that completely sucky! Why should we have to be subjected to the kind of stuff that is aimed for an audience of dirty old men?!

What we should do is get a big "PERVERT" stamp and attack all the people who send, and answer those IM's.

::Pop-up appears and Discord gets a twitch in her eye. She leaps up from her chair and rushes off to bludgeon the owner of the screenname "littleboylover"::

Pleas note, I see all my columns ending this way, with me going chibi and insanely chasing the instigator of my fume. I'm sorry if such a sight disturbs you but thanks for reading anyway ^_^.