Out of the corner of his eye a red beam of light invaded John's cornea, the same red light that always meant money out of his pocket when he was behind the wheel. Slowing down and attempting to pull over, John realized that yet again he had fallen for it. A giggle next to him solidified his fear, and glancing to his right, her grin set it in stone. "Light up sandals, gets you every time" was the only sound that escaped from the cool lips of the only person who could ever understand John the way he wanted them to. Young, attractive, beyond her years, and the only person in the world that John cared about are the only words outside of "perfect" that could describe Elyse, she was his everything.
"You know, if I had half of a brain I'd just ignore that. But the one time I do ignore it, I'm going to get caught up in a high speed chase that ends with me in a cell with a new boyfriend... I'm just not cool with that." John had been known for his satire, his ability to take a serious situation and obliterate it with sarcasm, it was his way to avoid emotion, his crutch. As is the case with every human being, though, there was an exception to that crutch, a place where John could be completely honest, and that was through writing. Five years had passed since John had started writing, finding inspiration in the subtleties of life. John was an observer, he took in the world through his eyes and interpreted it with his hands, molding it into his idea of perfection to escape from his hell. John could be the first to tell anyone that he had lived his life in darkness, that he had been an idealist, a dreamer, and an artist that could never quite get what he wanted out of life. When tragedy struck, John was the first to retire to his dwelling and pound out pages of emotion, pages that rarely grazed the wandering eyes of another. Every man has a source of living, a driving force that gets him through life, and John's was the one thing he could never find: love. For unknown reasons, it seemed to evade him, to make him work for it, only to never see a payday. Love was cruel and, at times, malignant for John, but he did not let it conquer him as it had done to so many of his characters. Focus on the unattainable love that he sought and the futility of the fight were John's main themes, until he finally found what he was looking for.
"Therein lies the problem, you'd need half of a brain. And whats wrong with having a new boyfriend? It seems to be working out o.k for me." Timing was everything for Elyse, she knew exactly when to do what, and it drove John insane. Even her last comment was followed by a gentle kiss, barely grazing John's lips as not to obstruct his view of the road. This was just one of the things that made her perfect, at least in his eyes, and for John, the eyes of others rarely mattered. If only she understood the way John felt, the love that burned his insides everytime she was near, she might be able to feel the same way. Life had never been so confusing until now, it had always been about finding the love, but now that it was on his doorstep John didn't know what to do with it. Her presence alone was enough to put John's head in the clouds, she was his muse, she inspired emotion in him that he never knew existed. A lone wolf turned to companionship, John had finally gotten over on love, but there were stipulations... there are always stipulations.
"You know, that would be so much sweeter if it wasn't preceeded by an insult... but I'll settle for it anyways. We're almost to the park, could you grab my notebook from the back seat? I want to write down a few things when we get there." Not a day went by in life where John didn't write something down, the park had been his writing studio thousands of times, and this would be no different. Hours and hours, alone on a bench, pondering and writing, musing to himself about the wonders of life, love, and nature were typical of John. Writing was his life force, the one thing that defined John. He considered ink to be the blood of his soul, and thats what made it so honest and pure, that he was pouring his soul onto the paper everytime he wrote. Elyse had not changed him in this way, he had remained true to his writing, but she had led him to the light to avert the darkness that he had become part of. What remained as the best part about the writing and Elyse as one was that she respected his writing and never pressed the issue of being able to read it. She had made it clear, once, that she would love to read them sometime but never pressed him into it; mostly because she knew that if she did he would eventually cave. John loved her too much to deprive her of any earthly pleasure that she might find, he would surrender his notebook in an instant if it brought her happiness.
"Yea, I win, as usual. You need to fill this thing up already so I can make you another one." Referring to the single greatest gift that had ever been given to him, Elyse pulled the notebook out from behind her seat. A hole was cut in the blue cover to reveal a hand drawn time machine, one of John's obsessions. During a particularly awful time in his life, dealing with the tragic loss of his sister, Elyse had made John his "Time Machine" to record his thoughts. That was the moment that he knew, as he sat in his car unwrapping the rectangular gift, he knew that what he felt was real. Since that day, John had spent countless hours, pouring over the "Time Machine" about the way he felt for her. The love that he had finally found was the only thing that could drown out his misery, and he embraced it. John let love consume him to the point where nothing else seemed important, until he told her. Unable to deal with the pain any longer, John came out and told Elyse about the feelings he had, about how he had never felt so pained and so joyous all at once. Elyse did not understand, and she didn't return those feelings at the time, and John was crushed. Rejection was a new emotion to John because he had never taken such a chance before, again he poured over his "Time Machine," never letting the greatest feeling he had ever experienced fade. He would love her no matter what, it wouldn't stop, he wouldn't let it stop, because it was the most surreal feeling he had ever experienced, and he had finally found it.
"You only win because you're cute and older, if this was a true test of skill I would have at least a shot. Start making a new one now, this one is on the verge of being full... but I don't think it will ever be complete." Balding tires scraped over the dirt path that led to the hiking trails of the local park, the place where John went to evaluate his world, the place that he had decided to share with Elyse. He had been searching for something constant, something other than his solitude on the beaten paths of the woods, and Elyse had provided that for him Her love was constant, unfaltering, and for that he felt that she would be the only one he could share this place with. They would climb deep into the most forgotten, but most familiar to John, parts of the woods; the places that John sat for hours thinking and writing. He would finally share the wealth of wisdom that nature had provided him with the only person that he could ever love.
"You come here alone usually?" Some questions, most of them that escaped from her lips at least, didn't need answers. John had spoken on more than one occasion about his companionless escapades at the park and Elyse was fully aware of his passion for solitude at times. Breaking the ice, searching for anything inside of him, was Elyse's goal here; John looked empty as he walked hand in hand with her, only replying to the question by pulling her closer to him and squeezing her hand. Most of the time, thats all Elyse wanted, a sign that John wasn't completely dead or cut off from reality as he sometimes appeared to be. This was one of those times. Something in the woods did something to John, took his consciousness to a higher plane, a plane where the world was clear for a while, a plane with no judgement or conviction, only acceptance. John desperately wanted Elyse to experience this same thing, but he couldn't force her into it, it had to be discovered.
"This is the spot where I first wrote in the 'Time Machine.' I came here the day you gave it to me and sat under this tree musing about the irony behind it all. That the last person I expected to be there was, in fact, there and how I dealt with that. Now look at us... life takes some interesting twists." Sitting on the nearest bench, John pulled Elyse closer until she was nearly in his lap. Wrapping his arms around her own and hugging her close, Elyse let her head fall against his chest. Silence was another of John's obsessions. He felt that, sometimes, nothing else was needed, and that the silence spoke for itself. Shivering under the dark cloud of akward silence, Elyse tended to break it to probe into John's mind. Elyse wanted to know what John was thinking in those moments and to not dissapoint her, John always replied as if he was thinking nothing. The same thoughts were always running through John's mind, that he had found love and that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen; but, more often than even those, how this didn't seem like it was going to last forever. John knew that finding love here had come equipped with its own expiration date and, after two months, he might never experience these moments again. John had made a decision, that he would go against everything he had ever done before, stop living for the long term and start living for the moment because moments were all that they had left. John knew that he would not remember entire days, but the moments that he treasured in his heart might be the driving force to lasting love.
"What are you thinking right now?" Half of a smile invaded John's face as he predicted down to the second when she would ask. He knew her, he knew her desires, her aspirations, her doubts, her fears and he loved every bit of it. Nothing, no flaw in this girl could make his love stop, it was too strong. For once, John decided, he would answer in truth. John was ready to put all of the cards on the table and let them fall as they may. He needed to know, he could not deal with this expiration date any longer.
"I'm thinking that you are the most perfect girl in the world, and the first and only person I've ever loved, and how that is all going to be ripped away from me in two months. You're going to college, I'm stuck back here in High School. I need to know if you're ready to pursue a long distance relationship for the next nine months if I gain acceptance at USC. I can't sit here and think about how I have love in my lap but its not going to be here in the long run." Nothing came out right when John spoke, his words had a ringing of conviction and accusation that would put any soul on the defensive. He looked into her eyes, and he knew. He knew that she didn't feel that she was strong enough to survive nine months, and that the one thing that he sought for so long was going to leave him. Looking through her eyes, John peered into her soul and her heart. He saw the pain that she was in, the pain of lost love, and he felt it too.
"I'm not strong enough John, I can't take the stress of school and a long distance relationship. I'm sorry." Again, John looked into her eyes, god he loved her eyes, and he let go. John, at that moment in his life, compromised. John let go of the only love he had ever known out of the strength of that love. John could not bear to see Elyse in that kind of pain and distress, he let her go out of his unfaltering love.
"You're strong enough Elyse, you just have to realize that someday." Soft breeze gave way to unobstructed gusts of wind as John stood up. He stared down at the only woman he had ever loved and he let his lips graze hers for the last time, and then planted his eternal love on her cheek. John had done the one thing he had said he would never do, he had compromised true love.

Staring at himself in the mirror, John reflected on what he had done three years earlier. He glared into the airy blue of his own eyes, and then through them, observing his soul yet again. John remembered his solitary days in the park, writing, observing, evaluating, and he considered his one regret. "Pathetic, just plain pathetic."