TO MONKS!!!!
The monk. One of the most recognizable members of the old first edition list of character classes, alongside the assassin, the thief-acrobat, the barbarian, the cavalier, etc. It was a one of those "fringe" character classes that nobody wanted to play, until they discovered just how unbalanced the monk was. But it didn't quite fit the mold for 2nd edition, and so was dropped. It gained a brief resurgence in classic Dungeons & Dragons (2nd edition) as the Mystic (for those of you who own the Rules Cyclopedia), but never really made it very far in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons except as a kit. And even then, it was never truly the monk of 1st Edition.
Now, with the release of 3rd Edition in the D20 format, the monk has again come home. Lo and behold, the fans demanded the return of both the Barbarian and the Monk.
The MONK?!?!
Yes, the Monk.
"So, what's wrong with the Monk?" some of you power gamers and habitual munchkins might ask (wherein lies your answer). Simply put, it is broken.
Broken?
Yes, broken.
"What is broken?"
Broken (n. BRO-ken): slang (South NJ gamer jargon). Any object, class, or person that destroys all semblance of internal game balance.
How, you might ask? Well, lets take a look at why the Monk should not be a character class present in the new Dungeons & Dragons Player's Handbook.
1. It doesn't fit the Western presentation: It just doesn't fit. Western monks are little men who dress in sackcloth, shave the tops of their heads, speak fluent Latin, never have sex, and translate The Bible into a variety of different languages until they die of extreme old age or extreme boredom (whichever comes first). They are DIRT POOR and once and a while make pilgrimages, but they don't get ambushed by brigands because they have NO MONEY, EVER. They sometimes have precious relics and gold in their monasteries, but those are "for God" and are protected by the local lord's militia in return for spiritual guidence, etc, etc, etc.
The monk in the Player's Handbook is not a Western-style monk, but a Kung Fu monk, like Kwai Chang Kain. It is not native to Western lands, and therefore should not be presented in The Player's Handbook.
"But Kwai Chang Kain wandered in the Wild West!" Yeah, but that was the novelty of the TV show. A monk from Kara-Tur has just as much probability of wandering into Waterdeep as a ronin samurai warrior from the same region. So you might as well leave both classes to the Oriental Adventures book, and stop wasting valuable space in the Player's Handbook. With the paper and time they wasted on the monk in the PH, they could have spent the same amount putting githyanki and githzerai into the Monster Manual instead of making you buy The Manual of the Planes for it.
2. Unarmed Attack Damage: Okay, I'll tackle this mechanical reason first. Has your DM looked at that table? I mean, REALLY looked at it? It is RIDICULOUS!!! I don't care what level you are, NOBODY that is Medium-size is going to deal 1d10 on a punch or kick!
Sayeth the Munchkin, "But that is because he has his martial arts prowess! He is more accurate and does more damage!"
That's crap. Nowhere, no way, no how, should anybody deal more than a few points of damage per punch. Yeah, it is possible to kill somebody with your bare hands in reality, but you can also kill someone with a single sword strike (or even a DAGGER!!! OH MY!!!) in reality, and you don't see daggers going around dealing 1d10 points of damage (unless they are super-blessed ultra-magic munchkin daggers), and trying to kill a 12th level fighter with a single sword stroke would require a called shot, which has been disallowed in 3rd Edition. So it is damn-near hypocritical to allow the monk to do such abjectly ridiculous damage.
3. Saving Throws: Ever notice how everyone's saving throws are, in some manner, balanced, with slow and fast advancement for different saves? That is, except the monk, of course. Their Zenlike attunement to the universe somehow allows themselves to start out with excellent saving throws and advance at the fastest rate for each category. So, the monk has the internal fortitude of a fighter, the reflexes of a rogue, and the will of a cleric, right? I can almost accept that, but it is just too much. The monk should have been good at all three, but not excellent.
4. AC Bonus: This makes no sense at all. It is a cumbersome throwback from 1st Edition. They should have simply allowed the monk to make a Reflex save (DC = attacker's "to hit" roll) to avoid a blow that would otherwise hit her. That would make more sense and be less conspicuously brazen in its brokenness (unless, of course, the designer insists on having the save bonuses be as outlandishly incredible as they are).
5. Unarmored Speed: They have gone so far as to expect DMs to accept that the Monk magically turns into an Olympic Gold Medalist in Track & Field. Improved speed, like the Barbarian's, is one thing. But moving 90 ft. per round is another. I don't care if you are 20th level! That means you can run at 60 ft. per second! That is insane!!!
6. The Special Abilities: Now we come to the REAL KICKER!!! Unarmed attack bonus feat (complete with Flurry of Blows), evasion, still mind, slow fall, ki strike, and improved evasion I can accept as standard monk abilities. I can even be pushed into accepting Deflect Arrows and Improved Trip as bonus feats. But some abilities I downright refuse to accept. Purity of Body is simply stupid. Not only do monks gain spectacular Fortitude saves, now they simply can't get disease! Throw in Wholeness of Body (allowing the monks to heal themselves) and Diamond Body (making Fortitude saves almost COMPLETELY worthless, since now they can't be poisoned) and the monk has COMPLETELY left the bounds of both reality and fantasy combined and is somewhere in that Monty Python-Mel Brooks realm of absurdity. Timeless Body is ridiculous, because everyone has seen old Chinese monks. They ARE physically weak due to age, but they don't let it limit them, because they find OTHER WAYS to use their bodies in the MOST EFFICIENT MANNER! Tongue of the Sun and Moon is just plain stupid; why should monks gain the ability to simply communicate with everything? Abundant Step feels like it was simply thrown in for good measure. Diamond Soul makes the monk nearly impervious to magic as well as poison and disease. Quivering Palm is a crappy attempt at a "death touch", and is WAAAAY to easy to pull off. Empty Body is beyond bizarre, and Perfect Self sounds simply throws in the towel and gives up all semblence of game balance and flings the monk into the beyond.
Basically, if you have a monk in
your party, you no longer need a party.
The monk does it all. Its the Swiss Army Knife of Dungeons &
Dragons. It has more abilities than the 1st Edition monk could have
ever DREAMED of (as broken as it was). Who needs money when
you can kill dragons with your Quivering Palm? Who needs armor when
just about everything that hits you will barely phase you? Who needs
magic if it barely works on you in the first place? Who needs a cleric
when you don't get poisoned and can heal yourself? Who needs a party
when you are playing a monk? They are the D&D version of the
Bene Gesserit, something I can accept in Dune (since the humans
have evolved to such a degree they damn-near acquire these characteristics),
but not in a medieval setting.
But what do we do with all those monestaries that exist in the Forgotten Realms?
Good question. My answer?
A monk is not a character class in my Realms. You cannot play a monk as a class from the PHB (unless you are from Kara-Tur, and then it is HIGHLY TONED DOWN so other players don't end up feeling worthless). The monk is a profession. A paladin of Torm can be a monk, just like a fighter can also be a blacksmith, a wizard a scholar, and a sorceror a carpenter. It is a profession that has many applications depending upon your god. More militant gods will have orders of paladins as the core of their monks (like the Knights Templar). Some monks (mostly abbots) will probably be clerics. Monks of mystical and arcane deities will be adepts, sorcerors, or wizards. Monks of other deities might be like Christian monks. The point is, you may have to abide by rules, but you will gain social benefits from being a member of a monastic society more than class benefits.
This simply makes much more sense in a Western/medieval European setting like the Forgotten Realms.
