"Your what?"AJ asked,me now having his full attention.
I nodded.
"How ..duh"He said,shaking his head.
I sighed,looking down at the floor.
"Are we going to have it?Because I wouldnt mind having alittle Alex runnin around,or whatever,ya know?"He said.
"Wait..I need to explain more"I said.
"Ok.."He replied,looking at me.
"When the nurse called,and told me that I was,I asked her about how old would the baby live to..she said 2 years..and even if its more..who knows if we are gonna live that long"I said.
AJ sighed deeply.
"Would you be strong enough to have this baby?"He asked me.
I shrugged.
"Alright..well..I dunno what to do"He said.
"Me either"I replied,putting my head on his shoulder.
"I dunno what I would do,If I got attached to this baby,and then it died,or what the baby would do without a mom or dad.."He said.
"Abortion.."I mumbeled.
"I guess thats what it comes down to"He said,in a whisper.
I nodded,as he pulled me into him.- I got into the car,as AJ started up the engine.I sighed.I had to get this over with.I heald AJs hand,as we pulled out the driveway,and started off down the road.There was a silence that filled the car.Neither of us bothered to break it,..sorrow weighing to heavy on our hearts.It was a day,like the day I had found out I had AIDS,a day like when I told everybody I did.It was a eery,horrible day,that almost made me wish,I would die.Everyone back at the house knew,and could see the pain,and sadness in our eyes that morning.We pulled up into the parking lot,and I opened the door.
"Steph?"AJ asked.
"Yea?"I responded.
"If ..if you get in there,and decide against doing this..then..dont worry,just come back out ok?"He said.
I nodded,as I shut the door behind me.I walked off towards the building.I couldnt belive I was doing this.I mean I had my reasons,but it wasnt this babys fault that we had made love that night.But either way..the baby suffered the consequences,of our actions.I dont know if I could forgive msyelf of that.I opened the door,and walked to the front desk.I couldnt turn back now.
I walked out about 40 minutes later,maybe less.AJ stood infront of the car.He looked up at me with questioning eyes,and I nodded slowly. "I cant belive I just did that"I said,as the tears began to fall.
AJ also began to cry,and he pulled me into his arms.
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