
Subj : New Beginnings(17)
To   : All
From : Skyhawk #1
Date : Thu Jul 06 1995 01:12:36 PST

                          New Beginnings(17)
                         By Daniel C. Harrison(Skyhawk)
     
     Candar pulled herself out of the chair, feeling the edge of the table with
her fingers. It's rough surface gave her something to cling too. Grayson was
next to her, she could feel him breathing. "Don't help me!" she commanded. "I
need to do this on my own. I can't function if I can't make it to the bridge."
     "Alright." Grayson pulled the chair away from her so she's have less
trouble moving around it. "But you can drop this tough girl act, Candar. I
realize it got you where you are career wise but, it's little help in your
condition. You should consider turning authority over to Jerry till your
better."
     Turning  quickly, she stared at where he was. Her eyes saw only blackness
but, her mind was fire. "I don't need to turn my command over to anyone!" she
spat. "I have never given up a command and I wont start now. I have to
establish authority over these assholes and, if I don't we wont go anywhere!
Our only hope is to get along and find a new world. I need everyone here for
that."
     Grayson took the hint and backed off. He opened the door for her as she
moved slowly forward, her hands in front of her. Reaching the doorway, she
turned right. "I found the bridge once and I can find it again." Turning she
made her way down the corridor, her hands trembling. She had never been so
scared. Always so sure..so determined. No situation had presented itself that
she was unable to deal with. She had been the best. If she had gone in the
service, she would have been an expert fighter pilot, and later a captain.
Instead, she had chosen the merchant service. Working for a company that highly
rewarded it's pilots, but shit on it's other employees. What a life!  She
continued moving, her world nothing but darkness. It had been a long time since
she had felt fear like this. Being helpless was probably the worst of all.
Candar felt the cold metal of the wall, her senses heightened by her lack of
sight. She could feel her heart pounding..you musn't fear. Your not allowed to
be afraid. Panic is unthinkable. It had been drilled into her in flight school.
Her instructor Major Denny had made it a part of her. In her world of darkness.
she could see it all again. Denny had been a taskmaster..he only graduated the
best with honors. To him, she had been the best. She could hear the sound of
his voice...even now.
     
     "Millis, get your butt over here!" Major Denny was shouting at her again!
Damn! She broke formation and rushed over to stand before him. He glared down
at her. "What the hell did you think you were doing? That R-24 shuttle is
not..repeat not, a fighter! Where the hell do you think you are, in the navy?
You should have joined them if you wanted to play fighter jockey! Get your ass
back in that shuttle and do your approach right!"
     She ran past the formation and reached the shuttle she had plowed into the
dirt only minutes before. It had been a forced landing,but he hadn't understood
that. He had expected her to make a perfect landing. He hadn't told her that
there was barely any fuel in it!  A test. no doubt to see if she would panic.
She had obviously failed, her fear getting the better of her. She had dropped
her altitude too fast and slammed into the ground. No wonder the training
shuttles got so banged up!
     Candar brought the engines to life and turning, she lifted the craft off
the ground and shot into the sky. "Your being a hot shot again!" Denny's voice
echoed over her speakers. "Ease up gently. Now, turn about and land that pile
of junk properly."
     Candar nodded and bit her lip, trying to center the craft on the landing
strip. She had been a cadet now for seven weeks, just entering primary flight
training. Denny was a pain in the ass but, he was definitely trying to
encourage her. That made her feel good. Since Terry's death, she had little
luster for life. Now, she had a purpose. To be a merchant star pilot. To be the
best. She had considered the navy but, the risks seemed too great. And, she
hated the thought of giving up her freedoms. Now, she was here, top of the
class. She knew already she would graduate with honors. She pulled her nose up
bringing the light craft in more smoothly. "Much better." Denny said "Your
starting to shape up." She smiled as she ignored the fuel status and gently
brought the shuttle down. The touchdown was smooth, she could see everyone
cheering. "Congratulations." Denny sounded satisfied. "Just don't get so
excited you wreck the thing!"
     She brought it to a stop. "I did it." she whispered, "I'm the best!"
     As she exited the craft, her classmates congratulated her. Denny stepped
forward. "Cadet Candar, I believe you might be able to fly. Just don't lose
sight of your vision."
     She smiled happily. Yes, that was the key. She never would lose sight, she
knew what she wanted. She would achieve it. Her life was before her...."
     
     Darkness...all she could see now as, her mind returned to the present. Her
eyes filled with tears and she slammed her fists continually into the wall.
Yes, she had to go on. Wiping the tears, she gritted her teeth and continued on
to the bridge........
                            


 
