1) Honk if you hate noise pollution 2) Firearms, explosives, and nuclear devices are outdoor toys 3) Never buy anything that's too big to bury 4)It's easier to beg forgiveness than to seek permission. 5) Share and share alike, but not my stuff 6) When all else fails, play dead (in latin its "Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati - this is the 'red green show' slogan they say at the end of every show) 7) Never drink anything you can't spell 8) Home is where you hang your head 9) No one finds it funny when you pretend to be a doctor 10) You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make a good living at it 11) A dog is a man's best friend, women know better 12) Never eat things that move 13) Only purchase an item from the person who made it. Unless you're buying manure. 14) You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him pass it 15) This is only temporary, unless it works 16) If it ain't broke, don't lend it 17) You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear without severely damaging its hearing 18) There is no safe way to operate a weed whacker in the nude 19) He who laughs last, just got it 20) If a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears the lumberjack yell "timber" does the gut it lands on make a sound? 21) Never underestimate how far you can throw a baked potato 22) If you can't stay young, you can at least stay immature
