"Revenge is Sweet" Written by Tom Fontana [The Box.] Hill: Most prisons manufacture things: Licence plates, clothes, computer chips. In Oz, we do one thing better than anybody: Revenge. Yeah, we turn out revenge with greater precision than a Ford assembly line. We're world-renowned. And I'm happy to say, for us, revenge is a growth industry. [Em City. Quad.] [Redding paces the cage, as the Chinese walk by, staring.] Redding: What the fuck you all looking at? Murphy: All right, Warden wants to see you. [He unlocks the cage and takes Redding out.] [Em City. Unit Manager's office.] Glynn: We believe you arranged to have Bian Yixue killed. Redding: And your belief is based on what? McManus: On Bian coming to me and saying you threatened him. Redding: McManus, do I look stupid to you? You warned me that if anything happened to those illegals, I'd be held accountable. And then the next day I go out and grease the guy? Fuck that! McManus: Maybe you greased him, assuming I'll think you're too smart to. Redding: And maybe somebody set me up. Glynn: We have no evidence. McManus: Only the word of a dead man. [Em City. Quad.] Redding: Thanks for arranging my stay in the cage. I ain't gonna forget it. Pancamo: So much for fucking plan "A". Morales: And that's why they call it plan "A", Chuckie. 'Cause there's still a plan "B," "C," "D," all the way to fucking "Z" if we need it. Pancamo: We ain't got time to go through the whole fucking alphabet. This cocksucker's gonna make a move on us, and soon. [Solitary.] Supreme Allah: Hey, yo, Glynn. My shower don't work, man. I'm fucking stinking in here, man. Come on, man. White: Warden, I got, I got some big news for you. You got to hear me out, Warden. I got serious 411 here. Warden! Warden, you got to let me out, I got to talk to you, in here. [Glynn ignores them and goes into Alvarez' cell.] Glynn: You wanted to see me? Alvarez: I got a proposition. Glynn: You patted him down? Smith: Yes, sir. Glynn: Close the door, but stay close by. Smith: Alright. [he leaves them] Glynn: What? Alvarez: I know me and you had some bad shit between us, right? And I know you're planning on keeping me in solitary for the rest of my life. See, but I can't be in solitary for the rest of my life, 'cause I'll be a fucking zombie. 'Specially after being on the outside again, you know? Glynn: Get to the point. Alvarez: Put me back in Em City, and in return, I'll be your eyes and I'll be your ears. Glynn: An informant? Alvarez: Yeah, whatever you need to know, I'll find it out. Glynn: And your loyalty to El Norte? Alvarez: Fuck 'em! It was fucking Hernandez tried to get me killed, put me in this fucking shit hole! Glynn: Alvarez, you are in this shit hole because you are the lowest form of animal life. Do you understand me? Alvarez: So, your answer is no? Glynn: My answer's yes. You're also the perfect snitch. [Em City.] [Alvarez returns.] Ryan: You got busted going into Mexico? What, are you stupid, or what, Alvarez? Hoyt: Spic and span, Alvarez. Prisoner: Bring me back some pussy, man. [Computer Room.] Morales: Miguel Alvarez. I was wondering when you'd come see me. Alvarez: You know, a lot's happened since I escaped. Hernandez is dead. Morales: And that makes you feel how? Alvarez: Happy. I hated that fucking cocksucker. Morales: Honesty. I like honesty. But I hear sometimes you're too honest. Alvarez: Look, man, I don't give a fuck. You in charge now. That's all you, man. I just want back in. Tell me what I gotta do. [They walk out to the quad.] Morales: You see that man over there? Burr Redding? Alvarez: Yeah. Morales: Kill him. [The box.] Hill: "Vengeance is mine," sayeth the Lord. That's right. According to the Bible, revenge is the exclusive property of God Almighty. But if God admits to using revenge, and if God can only do good, does that mean revenge is good? Does that mean if we are made in God's image, that revenge becomes not an act of hate, but a holy crusade? A blessed thing? [Staff meeting.] Glynn: All right, next item, Gloria. Nathan: The Wygert Corporation has asked us to participate in testing a new drug that they're developing. McManus: I'm against using prisoners as guinea pigs. Nathan: Participation would be voluntary. Howell: Why would one of these jackasses volunteer? Benefit humanity? Come on. Glynn: Well, Wygert has also contacted the governor, who's agreed to reduce the sentences of those prisoners who cooperate in the experiment. Smith: Geez, what does this drug do? Cure cancer? Nathan: No, it's actually designed to reduce overcrowding in prisons. Instead of serving the time he's sentenced, the criminal would take a pill and age the same number of years. McManus: Age, what do you mean, like grow old? Nathan: Yes. Smith: This is real? Nathan: Widespread use is probably a decade away, but the tests we do here will be the preliminary findings upon which further research will be based, until the FDA approves. Howell: Let me get this straight. If a 20-year-old is supposed to serve 30 years, the drug physically transforms his body into that of a 50-year-old? Nathan: Yes. And he goes free. [Cafeteria.] [Prisoners are cheering and clapping.] Nathan: There, there are of course dangers. Several of the lab animals developed heart problems, tumors, two died. Now, we're not completely sure how the drug interacts with humans, at what rate you would age, or if you would age more years than you're supposed to. The risk is great. The sacrifice is great. That's why the reward is great, too. [Em City. Quad.] Hill: Beecher, you gonna sign up? Beecher: I don't know. My daughter needs me full time, but what's it gonna be like for her, me coming out looking older than my grandfather? You? Hill: No, I can't. I'm in for life. Only pill they could give me is cyanide. Busmalis: Norma and I are getting married. It'd be nice to have a normal life together, but I'm afraid to die. Hoyt: Yo, you stay in here, you got no guarantees you'll live. I'm in. Biker: Me, too. I'll take a tumor over this place anyday. Said: The program is immoral. It's unnatural. Arif: I know, but still. . .my father had a stroke. I'd like to be with him before he dies. [Kitchen.] [Howell gooses Ryan.] Ryan: Oh, Jesus! Howell: Hey, stud. These kitchen whites you're wearing are so sexy. I just love a man in uniform. [she kisses him] Ryan: [pulls away] Look, not here, not now! Howell: What? You got a headache? Ryan: I told you, we can't be doing this anymore. It's fucking crazy. Howell: And I told you, it's up to me when we stop. Ryan: I could go to the warden. Howell: That'd sure stop me from fucking you. Of course, then I'd have to find someone else, someone as handsome as you. Ryan: Cunt. Howell: Hey, I know. How about your brother Cyril? Ryan: Alright. Howell: Today you're gonna play the little dutch boy who stuck his finger in the dyke. [Phone room.] Cyril: Mm-hmm. Yes, Aunt Brenda. The candy came yesterday. It was very good. Biker: [bangs on door] Let's go, you fucking 'tard. Cyril: I especially liked the chocolate with the nuts. [The biker walks over and hangs up. Cyril and he start to fight. COs enter.] Murphy: Cyril! [pulls him off] Break it up! Cyril: Let go of me! I'll fucking kill you! [screams] [Infirmary.] [Cyril is brought in on a gurney, restrained. He is still screaming and attacks Nathan. A CO clubs him, knocking him out.] [Em City. Unit Manager's office.] McManus: Cyril's behavior continues to be erratic. I think that we should seriously consider transferring him to the Conley Institute. Nathan: Separating him from his brother's only gonna make him worse. McManus: Yeah, but then he's not gonna be our problem. [Nathan spots Ryan outside the office.] McManus: How about that rain check? Nathan: Huh? McManus: Dinner. What are you doing tonight? Nathan: I'm working late. Dr. Prestopnik has a charity event. McManus: Tomorrow night? Nathan: Maybe. We'll see. [Infirmary. Office.] Ryan: Time is just so fucked up, especially here in Oz. You start thinking about the time that you've wasted, and the time that you have left to serve, and, and the time that you have left to, to live. Look, I heard about what you're doing, testing this new drug. You gotta help me and my brother get outta this place. Please, Gloria, make me old. [Break room.] McManus: O'Reily's not a viable candidate. Nathan: Why not? McManus: Because inmates in this program have to be eligible for parole. O'Reily's in for life, and so's his brother. Nathan: I can petition the commissioner to make an exception. If he's gonna listen to anybody about the O'Reily's, it's gonna be me. McManus: Why the fuck do you want to help them? Nathan: Humanitarian reasons. McManus: Humanitarian and Ryan O'Reily don't belong in the same sentence. Would you talk to her? Murphy: Gloria - Nathan: I'm willing to give the guy a chance, why can't you? McManus: I've given him plenty of chances, plenty. Nathan: You know, sometimes you're so blind. McManus: You put O'Reily in this program, I'm gonna do everything in my power to shut it the fuck down! I swear to god! [Infirmary.] Nathan: Five of you will be given the drug. Five of you will get a harmless placebo. Once a week, you'll receive another dosage and another complete physical examination in order to monitor your health and the progress of your aging. Are there any questions? Let's go. [Ryan takes the drug, Cyril resists.] Ryan: Take it, Cyril. Cyril: I don't like the medicine. Ryan: Come on, take it. [The box.] Hill: My uncle Bilbo once said, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Meaning, I guess, if the person plotting revenge goes into it all hot and lathered, he's likely to go home hungry. But the guy who approaches his goal with a cool, clear eye, he has himself a feast. Bon appetit. [Gym.] Vahue: Augustus Hill. How you doing, brother? Hill: What can I do for you, Vahue? The answer is no. Vahue: Why you gonna be like that, man? You and me got history. Hill: Yeah, and it's ancient. Vahue: Ancient? I remember when I first got into Oz, I was your hero. [FB. Em City.] Vahue: You be talking about the '95 Bulls game, boy. Hill: You scored 58 points. Yeah, you always been my hero, man. Vahue: That's me. Fucking role model. [Gym.] Hill: Well, I was still naive then. Back then I thought you were as good a person as you are at basketball. Vahue: Now, hold on, man. Look, during the riots, I stepped up, tried to save Eugene Dobbins' life. What'd I get for it? An ass whupping and a transfer. Hill: Whatever. Vahue: Fuck you, man. Shit, ever since I been back in Oz, man, I been invisible. I ain't been causing nobody no trouble. Now I'm up for parole. So while you is in here rotting, I'll be back out, back on the court. Why don't you live with that, little man? [Computer room.] Hill: Damn! Rebadow: What's the problem? Hill: I'm trying to find the name of that woman who Jackson Vahue beat up and almost raped, the one that got him sent to Oz. Rebadow: Why? Hill: 'Cause that cocksucker Vahue is gonna sweet talk the parole board into letting him go free. I want to make sure the girl gets the chance to tell the board not to. Rebadow: You still hate him that much? Hill: Hate? This ain't about hate. This is about justice. He's supposed to serve 12 years. He should serve the full 12 years. Rebadow: If he gets out now, he's got a chance of getting his career back. Seven more years, he'll be too old. Hill: Exactly. Rebadow: Sounds like hate to me. [Phone room.] Hill: Yeah, Beverly Reed, please? Oh, hi, Beverly. Uh - huh? Listen, who I am is not important. What I have to say is. Have you been notified that Jackson Vahue is up for parole? I didn't think so. [Interview room.] [Vahue is led to see the parole board, where he meets Reed exiting.] Hill (VO): Yeah, I thought you'd have something to say about that. [Cafeteria.] Hill: Yo, Jackson. How'd that hearing go, man? [Vahue throws his lunch tray, then hits a CO. He pummels another, prisoners start yelling, and Vahue is finally subdued by COs.] Hoyt: Oh, shit, yo. [The hole.] [Vahue is thrown in.] [Solitary.] Allah: Yo, Smith, yo, Smith. Yo, my shower's still busted, man! What the fuck! White: Yo, Smithy, boy, yo, come on. Hey, my nigger. Hey, you watch my nigger, you won't get no bigger. Come on, I just need five minutes with the Warden, all right? I got something important! Come on, baby! Hook me up! [Smith enters Giles' cell.] Smith: This is moving day. [Psych.] Sister Pete: I just want to be sure you're aware of what's going on. Last year, during rec time in the gymnasium, you stabbed a man named Louie Bevilacqua. You killed him. Do you remember that? Giles: Bad, bad. Bald. Sister Pete: Yeah. So the court has found you guilty of first-degree murder. The judge, he has sentenced you to death. Giles: Death. Dying. Dead. Sister Pete: Yes. Giles: Peter. Peter Marie. Sister Pete: And they are going to transfer you to Death Row, where you are going to stay until the day of your - Giles: No! Save, save, save, save! Sister Pete: Sorry. [COs come and remove Giles.] Giles: Save! Save! Save! Save! Save! [Death Row.] [Giles is brought in.] Moses: Hey, LoPresti, who's that? LoPresti: It's your new playmate, William Giles. Giles: Peter, Peter Marie. LoPresti: She's not here to protect you, pal. From now on, I'm your lifeline. Moses: Hey, my name is Moses, how you doing? Giles: Tutti frutti. Moses: Tutti frutti? What the fuck does that mean? Giles: [starts singing nonsense] Moses: Great. My last days on earth and I'm locked up with a fucking lunatic. Giles: Puppy dog. Moses: Right. [Gym.] [The muslims are working out. Tidd joins them.] Muslim Prisoner: You got more than that. Come on, push it! Yeah! Yeah! That's it! Yeah, come on. Keep it up! Said: You do not belong here. Tidd: Minister Said - Said: I've told you 100 times, you cannot become a Muslim! Tidd: Please, help me! [Said hits him. Other Muslim prisoners pull him off, screaming.] Said: Let go of me! [FB: Crime scene.] [Tidd drives the getaway car in a robbery.] Tidd: Shit! Hill (VO): Prisoner number 00T255, Leroy Tidd, convicted May 10th, 2000, armed robbery, reckless endangerment. Sentence, 20 years. [Gym.] Hill (VO): Up for parole in 12. Arif: Give me the ball. Robson: Tell your friend Said I don't like him getting me sent to the Hole. Arif: Give me the ball. Robson: Oh, sure. [throws ball at Arif's head] Hoyt: I got you, nigger. [Robson kicks Arif, Tidd knocks him away.] Tidd: Allah. [A CO breaks up the fight.] [The Hole.] [Tidd is thrown in.] [Em City. Said's pod.] [Said is praying when Arif walks in, his nose bandaged.] Said: What happened to your face? Arif: Let me tell you. I want to tell you, whatever anger you feel towards Leroy Tidd will disappear. Said: Okay. I'm listening. [Em City.] Tidd: Thank you for getting me out of the Hole and for arranging for me to come back to Emerald City. Said: I was wrong. I have been blaming you for the sins of others. For that I am truly sorry. [he gives Tidd a cap] Asalaam alaikum, my brother. [Mail room.] Hoyt: I hate the fact we all look like saps while the niggers win. Robson: Don't worry. Once Said's dead, we'll flatten Tidd's black ass. Fucker doesn't know how to pull a punch. Schillinger: Told you guys to leave Said alone. What, are you gonna start a fucking war? Robson: Vern, Tidd's gonna do all the dirty work. No-one will know we're involved. Schillinger: This is Oz. People have a way of finding out the truth. Robson: Look, why don't you go thump your Bible, okay? [Library.] Hoyt: Beat it. Scram! Robson: We're buddies with Vern Schillinger. Hoyt: You been fucking with his head. Robson: Hoyt. We agreed I'd do the talking, let me do the fucking talking. Hoyt: Then get to the point. Robson: First you convinced him to join that interaction program with Beecher. Cloutier: Gentlemen, I assure you I didn't convince him to do anything, except look in his heart, open his heart to the Lord. Hoyt: He's always been just fine without you. Robson: Hoyt, go read a book. Schillinger runs the Brotherhood. Cloutier: I understand you look to him for leadership. Robson: No, we look to him for balls, not heart. Balls. When something needs to get done, it needs to get done, without no - whatcha call it? Moral dilemma. Cloutier: There are many ways to get things done. Robson: Not here, Rev. You back off on Vern, or Hoyt, he'll see to it that you and Jesus have a face-to-face, soon, in heaven. Let's go. [Cafeteria.] Cloutier: I got a visit from a couple of friends of yours, Robson, Hoyt. Schillinger: They threaten you? Cloutier: Yes. Schillinger: I'll talk to them. Cloutier: Ah, don't. I'm not afraid. I'm just telling you. I thought you should know. They would do anything to get you back. Schillinger: Look, Reverend, I've been reading the scriptures, talking to you, and I still don't know where I am in all this. I don't want to be some big holy roller, I just want to have some joy in my life. Now, if those two fuckers can't appreciate that, then to hell with them. Cloutier: Yeah, to hell with them indeed. [Visitor's Room.] Schillinger: Now, here's the name and number of a woman I want you to call if you need anything before the baby comes, or if you just want to talk things through. Carrie: "The New Church of Christ." Man, I heard of them. Ain't that the group whose minister got caught stealing hundreds and thousands of dollars? Schillinger: The Reverend Cloutier, yes. He's here in Oz. And he's a good man, Carrie. I've told him all about you, you know, how you got nobody, except for me and Hank. Carrie: Hank? Where the fuck is Hank? Not even a postcard. Schillinger: You gotta remember, the boy left town before he knew you were pregnant. If Hank was aware of what was going on, he'd be here. Carrie: Yeah, don't be so sure. Schillinger: Reverend Cloutier says that this woman, this Sarah, she was all alone and pregnant, before she found his congregation. When you get lonely, call her, okay? She understands. Carrie: Mr. Schillinger, I didn't take you for the religious type. Schillinger: I'm not. I mean, I've always been Christian. Just, I'm starting to see other parts of the picture now. [Interaction room.] Sister Pete: Okay. Schillinger's on his way to the interaction. Beecher: Uh-huh. Sister Pete: You nervous? Beecher: You and I have talked through all my feelings about Schillinger. I know exactly what I want to say to him, and I pretty much know what he's gonna tell me, yet my hands are sweaty and I'm borderline nauseous. Sister Pete: Alright, but that doesn't mean that it's wrong to meet with him. Beecher: I just want my daughter to be safe. I want my family to be safe. And I'd like to wake up one morning and not be afraid. [A CO lets Schillinger in.] Sister Pete: Come in, Vern. Why don't we all sit down? Okay, so who wants to go first? Schillinger: I do. With your permission, I'd like to start with a reading from the holy scripture. Sister Pete: Ah, sure. Tobias, do you mind? Beecher: Nope, not at all. Schillinger: "The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid, and the calf and the lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them. The cow and the bear shall feed. Their young shall lie down together - " [FB: Crime scene.] [Kirk takes a newborn child and puts it into a dumpster, with rats.] Schillinger (VO): "And the lion shall eat straw like the ox. The sucking child shall play over the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the adder's den. They shall not hurt or destroy in all my holy mountain." Hill (VO): Prisoner number 96K423 - [The box.] Hill: - Timothy Kirk, convicted April 16, 1996, manslaughter, endangering the welfare of a child. Sentence, 12 years. [Gym.] Hill (VO): Up for parole in seven. Kirk: Mmm. Healthy body, healthy mind. In the Catholic Church, the body is a temple of the Holy Spirit that we're supposed to keep pure. You believe that, Preacher? Cloutier: The body is God's gift to us. We're obligated to take care of it. Kirk: What about sex? Is that a gift of God, too? Cloutier: Of course. Kirk: How'd you like a blow job? Cloutier: What makes you think I want a blow job? Kirk: Everybody wants a blow job. Cloutier: No, thank you. Step back, please. You made a lifetime out of being adorable, sexy in a lost little boy kind of way, but you threw your baby in the trash, that's a man's crime. It's time for you to be a man. [Visitor's Room.] Busmalis: Bob, did you have a nice visit with your son? Rebadow: Yes, though he says my grandson's health is getting more and more precarious. Busmalis: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. [Norma enters.] Norma! [they kiss] Bob Rebadow, my fiancee, Norma Clark. Rebadow: A pleasure. Norma: Agamemnon's told me so much about you. Rebadow: Nothing good, I hope. I'll leave you two lovebirds alone. [he leaves] Norma: Did you talk to whoever you needed to talk to about us getting married? Busmalis: I have an appointment to see the Warden tomorrow. Norma: You don't think there'll be a problem, do you? Busmalis: Oh, no. Norma: Oh, good. [Em City. Busmalis-Rebadow pod.] Rebadow: We were already engaged to be married, Maggie and I, when we learned that she was pregnant. Today, that's no big deal, but back in '65, and given her family's position in society, out of wedlock meant scandal. Still, we could have weathered the storm together. Maggie was - Oh, Maggie. Busmalis: That's enough for tonight. (he crawls out of tunnel) Rebadow: Two weeks before the wedding, I stabbed Norton Pratt in the neck. Maggie - she died in childbirth. My beautiful Maggie. I wish you all the happiness in the world, Agamemnon. Busmalis: Thank you, Bob. Rebadow: I do want to dance at your wedding. [Solitary.] [Busmalis is cleaning.] White: Busmalis. Busmalis. I know your dirty little secret. Busmalis: I have a dirty little secret? White: A little secret involving dirt. You know, like digging. You dig? The night before they threw my ass back up in here again, I'll be god-damned, I saw you digging a motherfucking tunnel. Busmalis: Tunnel? No - White: Don't play me! Fuck I look like to you? Busmalis: What do you want? White: From you? Nothing. But I may use what I know to get my ass out of solitary, alright. Busmalis: No, please. I'm getting married, see. White: Married? What the fuck do I care if you get married? Busmalis: I'll pay you. White: Pay me? Pay me what? What the hell good is money with my ass locked up in here like this, huh? Smith: Hey, no talking! [Em City. Unit Manager's office.] Glynn: I'd allow someone to get married inside the prison only as a reward for good behavior. Busmalis: I'm very well behaved. Glynn: You dug a tunnel and escaped, along with Alvarez, causing me great embarrassment. Busmalis: But you recaptured us both! McManus: Busmalis is sorry for what he did, aren't you? Busmalis: Yes! McManus: And we could all use a little romance around here, Leo. Glynn: Okay. If you swear to me that you won't dig another tunnel, I'll let you have the ceremony. But, if I find out that you're lying, it's solitary confinement, and you'll never see Norma again. Busmalis: Warden, on my father's grave, my mother's life, and my honor as a Scout, I swear I won't dig anymore. Glynn: Go ahead, make the arrangements. [Em City. Busmalis-Rebadow pod.] Busmalis: I've never actually filled in a tunnel before. Feels almost like murder. Such a lovely tunnel, too. Rebadow: You'd better get cracking. Busmalis: Yeah. [he climbs into hole] [Rebadow sees a CO leading White into Em City.] Rebadow: Busmalis, I think you may - Busmalis: Uh-oh, shit! [climbs up] Rebadow: What's the matter? Busmalis: I hit something! [A water main breaks and starts flooding the pod.] CO: Holy Jesus! [Solitary.] [Busmalis is led in.] Allah: Start digging, Busmalis. [The box.] Hill: Last year, the Hatfields and the McCoys, two families who've been feuding for something like 150 years, sat down together and made peace. Imagine that, giving up all that hate after all those years. Some people think the whole brouhaha started over a stolen pig, though there are those who swear the feud was over a woman. [Warden's office, reception.] LoPresti: Floria, this is my favourite song. CO: Bullshit, LoPresti, you don't even know who's singing. Hill: Yo, Floria, where you from? Floria: Jane Street projects. Hill: Say word. Yo, me too. Well, you know, nearby. I grew up on MLK on Southern. Poet: I love your eyes. I just fucking love your eyes, girl. [McManus enters.] McManus: Morning, Floria. Long wait to see Leo? Floria: Yeah, and he isn't even in yet. McManus: Oh. Hill, Poet, what are you doing here? Hill: Yo, everybody signed this petition to get cable. Poet: That's right, broadcast television sucks. McManus: Oh, yeah? Well, you should've brought this to me. Take 'em back. CO: Bye, Floria. Hill: Later, Floria. Poet: Bye, beautiful eyes. Beautiful, pretty eyes. McManus: Would you get out? LoPresti: Hey, McManus, when the warden comes, you can go ahead of me. McManus: Oh, yeah, you're so generous, LoPresti. LoPresti: Well, you're a busy man. Glynn: Hello. McManus, Lopresti. Look, give me a couple minutes, okay? McManus: Sure. LoPresti: Take your time. Floria: Oh, warden, before you go in - [Warden's office.] Floria: Surprise. I had the workers redecorate over the weekend. McManus: Hey, Floria, maybe next you can do my office. Floria: Looks okay? Glynn: Okay? It's fantastic. You're fantastic. [Hallway.] Floria: The cafeteria's all set up for the regional conference. The other Wardens will be here by ten, and the Governor arrives at 11:30. Glynn: Good. Floria: And I got a lead on an apartment for you about six blocks from here. An efficiency, all furnished, maid service. Glynn: My wife call? Floria: No, sorry. Glynn: Send her some flowers. Floria: Warden, I do have a message. It's from her lawyer. He wants to know who he should contact regarding the divorce. Glynn: I don't know. How the fuck should I know? It's my first divorce. Floria: Well, I could find you someone. My brother's an attorney. He'll know the right guy. Glynn: Send the flowers anyway. [Cafeteria.] Querns: Hello, Leo. Conference is going great. You really pulled it off. Glynn: I should have known you'd show up, Querns. Querns: Well, I am running Lardner now. Glynn: When I heard the Commissioner was considering you to replace Saul Cards, I called him and told him what I thought of you. Querns: And you can see how much influence you have. Glynn: Fuck off. Querns: Wait. Don't you want to know how Clayton Hughes is doing? Not great. The prisoners all hate him because he used to be a CO. Glynn: And the COs hate him because they consider him a turncoat. Querns: He's getting in a lot of fights. Right now I got him in protective custody, but the truth is, I don't think he'll survive the year. Glynn: Christ. Querns: Main attraction has arrived. [The Governor enters, to applause.] Glynn: I want to transfer Clayton to Oz. I can protect him. Querns: Right. Glynn: I can protect him. Devlin: Leo, Martin. Querns: Governor, you seem to be getting around pretty well on those things. Devlin: My physical therapist says I'm recuperating faster than any patient she's ever had. I expect to drop these crutches in a matter of weeks. Nice little shindig, Leo. Lot of people thought I shouldn't come, given the fact that this is the same room where I got shot. But I say, what the fuck, huh? Without your boy Clayton's helping hand, Alvah Case might have won the election. Remind me to send Hughes a thank-you card. [Processing.] Glynn: My God. Hughes: Hello, Leo. Good to be home. Which unit am I gonna be in? Glynn: Unit J. Hughes: The cop unit? No way. Glynn: Since when do you think you have a choice? CO: Let's go. [FB: Crime scene.] [A Sheriff 'interrogates' a young suspect.] Sheriff: Who are your friends? Who are your friends, you little cocksucker? [perp spits on him] Sonofabitch! You little cocksucker! I'll knock the shit out of you! You little cocksucker! You sonofabitch! You spit on me, you prick! Bastard! Hill (VO): Prisoner number 01Y208, Alvin Yood, convicted January 28, 2001, aggravated assault of a minor. Sentence: 12 years. Up for parole in seven. [Unit J.] Yood: Hey, when's lunch get here, I'm starving. Howell: Lunch'll get here the same time it gets here every other fucking day. Yood: Hey, you know, Howell, we had a female deputy sheriff back home that looked a lot like you. Howell: Oh, yeah? Yood: Yeah, yeah, she was tough, no bullshit. Hey, had opinions about everything. Howell: And I suppose you and your men in that little dink farm town you're from couldn't handle that? Yood: Oh, no, no, we didn't have to. She got drunk one night after work, went to a little bar in Spencer, got gang-banged on a pool table by a bunch of bikers. Speaking of which, why ain't we got a pool table? Glynn: Officer Howell? Howell: Yes, sir. Glynn: You know Clayton Hughes. Howell: Of course. Cell two. Glynn: Officer, I want you to make sure that no harm comes to him. Howell: I'm a CO, Warden, not a miracle worker. Glynn: How you doing, John? Basil: Couldn't be better. Poet: Lunch! I made this especially for you, Detective. Put a little extra seasoning on it. Basil: You spit in it? Poet: Pissed in it. Yood: New guy. Is he the CO who tried to assassinate Governor Devlin? Basil: Yeah. Yood: Guess he should have spent a little more time on the shooting range. Hughes: What'd you say, motherfucker, huh? [attacks him] Howell: [she and other CO pull them apart] Jesus Christ! [FB: Elevator shaft.] Hill: No, wait man, please, man, please! [Basil-'Mobay' knocks Gergan down shaft.] [Interview room.] Lieutenant Schmand: Bruno Gergan wasn't well liked, John, but that doesn't excuse you pushing him down an elevator shaft. But I think most people in the departmant believe that you did what you had to do. Basil: Not Nancy. She didn't come to my trial. She hasn't been here once. Schmand: I'm not gonna lie to you, John. Nancy's angry. You were her partner. She feels that you betrayed her trust. Basil: The worst part about being in this place is you can't talk to the people you need to talk to in order to set things straight. Schmand: Look, I'll tell you the other reason that I'm here. Your wife called. She's very upset that you refuse to see her or Robby. Basil: I can't. Doesn't Abby understand? I can't face her, or him. My son. Schmand: She wants to come for a visit without Robby. Basil: No. Schmand: John - Basil: No. Schmand: Look, she loves you, and your silence is killing her in the same way that Nancy's silence is hurting you. Basil: It was an honour serving under you, sir. [Unit J.] [Basil, in his cell, looks at a picture of his wife and son and cries.] [FB.] Barlog: Holy fucking shit, Keller. Keller: Hey, man, good to see you, how you doing? Barlog: How you doing? Beecher: Ronnie's cute. Does he like to fool around? [Em City.] [Keller is in his pod, trying to see into Beecher's. The buzzer sounds and the lights come on.] Murphy: Count. [Count starts.] [Shower room.] Keller: Ronnie boy. Barlog: What's up? Keller: What are you doing, jerking off there? Barlog: Just giving old Magic Johnson his morning stretch, that's all. Keller: As long as old Magic didn't get any action last night. Barlog: Meaning? Keller: Well, they got rules against us fucking. Barlog: Yeah, right. Since when do you follow the fucking rules, man? Keller: Since you got stuck with Beecher. You don't want to be sticking your prick into that prick. Barlog: No? Keller: No, the guy's a slut. Nothing but trouble. Barlog: Wow. Boy, I wish you would've told me that yesterday. Because last night, he gave me a blow job deluxe. [Cafeteria.] Keller: I know what you're doing. Fucking Barlog to make me jealous? You're a miserable little cunt, you know that? Beecher: You killed the last two guys I slept with. You gonna kill your own friend, Ronnie, too? [Keller dumps Beecher's tray.] [Gym.] Barlog: So, uh, let me try to understand something, here. I mean, you, you were the king of the scams, man. You could hustle a cop out of his badge. How the hell did you get busted for robbing a grocery store, reckless fucking driving? Keller: Yeah, well, after my last divorce I went into kind of a tailspin. Barlog: I remember. Lots of drugs, lots of college boys. Keller: You know, a part of me thinks, in retrospect, I robbed that store, which was the stupidest thing I could have done, 'cause I wanted to get caught. You know, some demented slice of my brain was saying, "Hey, take some time off the street." Barlog: 88 years, that's, uh, that's a long time off the street. What, Keller, what? [Keller kisses him, he breaks away.] Come on. [Keller kisses him again.] Mineo: Hello! [Bangs on the wire.] Get a room. [Em City. Beecher's pod.] Murphy (VO): Lights out! Beecher: Finally. [starts groping Barlog] Ronnie. Barlog: No, no, no. Beecher: What, what's the matter? Barlog: Keller. Beecher: What about him? Barlog: He and I fucked this afternoon. Beecher: What? Barlog: Yeah, first time. And it was great. I mean, I knew him, you know. He and I, we ran together all those years, Keller was like a big brother to me. Sometimes he'd come up with some ponzi, you know, and I would just go along. But, ah, I guess I never admitted to myself. He says he loves me. [Beecher laughs.] And he made me promise that you and I wouldn't do it, so - Beecher: He doesn't love you, Ronnie. It's just another ponzi. Barlog: Probably. But, Beecher, we're in Oz. So what the fuck is the difference? [Beecher goes to the door, looks up at Keller, who moons him.] [Interview room.] FBI Agent: So, you were Keller's friend before he got arrested? Barlog: Yeah, I knew him, sure, yeah. Agent: On May 2nd, 1998, Keller was at a gay bar, where he picked up one Bryce Tibbetts. He drove Tibbetts across the state line to a forest, where he sodomized, tortured, and murdered the young man. Barlog: What's that got to do with me? Agent: Did Keller ever mention killing Bryce Tibbetts? Barlog: Nah. Agent: How about Mark Carachi? Barlog: No. Agent: Byam Lewis? Barlog: Nope, none of that. Agent: Too bad. See, if he had mentioned these murders to you, and you'd been willing to testify, you could have gotten your sentenced reduced from 13 years to say, five. Barlog: Five? Agent: The deal is out there, waiting to be reached. Barlog: I gotta call my lawyer. Agent: You do that, Ronnie. You make that call. [Em City. Quad.] Gordon Elliot (on TV): What is the only position not mentioned in the Abbott and Costello routine "Who's on first?" White: I hate baseball. Hill: I hate Abbott and Costello. Carpenter (on TV): Well it's definitely not infield. I need some help, here. Didi Conn (on TV): Listen, I'm going to say, if I were you, I wouldn't choose the wrong position. Alvarez: Shortstop. Carpenter: Don't choose the wrong position? Beecher: Right field. Carpenter: Right field. Elliott: You're in the right field with one thousand dollars. Poet: Shit. We gotta get cable, man. [Barlog walks in, and sits by Beecher.] Beecher: What do you want? Barlog: You're, uh, you're a lawyer, right? Beecher: I was. Barlog: Yeah. Let me, uh, let me run a little something by you, if you don't mind. A deal that the, uh, that the Feds are offering me. Beecher: I don't work pro bono. Barlog: I'll, uh, I'll make the consultation worth your while. Beecher: Maybe we can work something out. [They go into pod.] [Library.] Beecher: Keller. Keller: Oh, are we speaking? I thought we were trying to fuck with each other. Beecher: Ronnie Barlog is about to sell you out. Keller: You're a goddamned liar. Beecher: The FBI offered him reduced prison time if he testifies against you in those homosexual murders. Keller: You're saying that 'cause you're jealous. Beecher: Believe what you want to believe. Write me from Death Row. [he leaves] [Storage Room.] Keller: Hey, who was it wanted to talk to you? Barlog: FBI. They were grilling me about that bank job in Buffalo. There we go with that. Keller: You are amazing, Ronnie. You can fix anything, can't you? Barlog: Some people are just mechanically inclined, that's all. Keller: You got many gifts, Ronnie. Got a great imagination, got a way with words. Barlog: Me? Nah, come on. Keller: I hear you been telling a lot of fantastic stories. Barlog: Huh? Keller: Stories about me, and my encounter with certain young men. Barlog: Chris, I didn't say nothing about that, I swear. Keller: You sure? Barlog: Yeah, on my life, man, come on. Keller: You swear on your life, that's enough for me. [kisses him] Suck my dick. Barlog: Chris, you know I would never jabber on you, man. They did make me an offer, but I turned those Fed fucks down right there. I told them, you know, "You can kiss my ass." It ain't happening. [gives Keller blow job] Keller: You know, sometimes I think I killed all those guys 'cause I wanted to kill the part of me I despise. [he snaps Barlog's neck] Hill (VO): When you take revenge on somebody, you are actually paying them the highest compliment possible. It's like saying, "You've affected my life to such an extent that I must reciprocate. I must affect your life as deeply as you have mine." [The box.] Hill: Revenge may be the ultimate Hallmark card. Yeah. When you think of it like that, the cliche is true: Revenge is sweet.