New to the site? Delve into the archive Information about me List of collected quotations My poetry sites Other links: The ineffable Michelle Infinite Fish The Echelon Project The 80s (my era) Move to Mars See Ann Widdecombe dance Think I complain a lot? The Yarn |
Wednesday 8.8.01 Two thoughts stemming from yesterday's brief self-abasement: firstly, I am definitely going through some sort of manic-depressive no-self-esteem-style period, because today's panic is even more banal. I have noticed that my left arm is slightly longer than my right. Now, this all may stem from when I broke my arm 6 years ago. Only now do I realise what they meant when they said I'd have to do stretching exercises. Also, my confidence wasn't really enouraged by bloody (darling) Kath, who just sent me a message saying 'No honey, you're a pervert, not a slag.' I fear I'm actually both. Secondly, and more cheeringly, yesterday's quick rant reminds me of something mum said to me before we all went on holiday this year (I appreciate that this is already beginning to sound dodgy, believe me it gets worse.) Was just telling her about Jane, Becky and Mike, and how much fun it was all going to be, when she turned around and said 'Are they sluts too?' Slightly taken aback (after all, this is my MOTHER we're talking about), I asked her what she meant. 'You know, dear, are they as messy and disorganised as you?' Not wishing to sound patronising or shatter a confidence, I had to tell her that the word 'slut' has, ever so slightly, changed meaning since she was using it... Thursday 9.8.01 Avid fans (both of you) will remember my second bout with Selfridges was last Friday morning, specifically an 'assessment interview.' Now, to say it went badly would be to say that the Titanic has minor design flaws, so I presumed that I wouldn't get any sort of job there, even sweeping floors. I know I said roughly the same thing after the bloody phone interview about a month ago, but this was a serious shocker, crap in the extreme. Luckily, I already have a job (smug smile, took me bloody long enough) so I didn't care. But, guffaw, snigger, laugh in derision, Selfridges offered me a position! They must have been desperate, which is why it was even more pleasurable to turn it down. Friday 10.8.01 I love Private Eye (although the mag is better than the website). They take the piss so effortlessly and so brilliantly. Talking about ITV's scheduling of a documentary about the Queen Mother when she was ill, they comment: 'Fortuitously, their documentary happens to have coincided with the old dear's latest nasty turn, which is guaranteed to plump up the ratings. Less fortuitously, given that Ma'am is suffering from anaemia, is the title:The Queen Mother in colour. Saturday 11.8.01 My kneecaps have now recovered from Wednesday's disastrous ice-skating outing with Tess and Claire, so I can walk in a more-or-less normal fashion after going arse over tits on the ice in a weird way. This is good as I have to work today. On a completely different and random note, I just want to express how much I love Britain and its weather. I know I bitch about this place nonstop, but it's the sod-you attitude of our climate that really keeps me smiling: 'It's August. It's meant to be hot. So let's throw it down until Mark's house almost floods.' I couldn't live anywhere else. Sunday 12.8.01 HUGE congratulations must go to Mike for surviving two weeks locked up in a Scottish Castle having all manner of shit done to him (he had to do literally unspeakable things like abseil down a cliff with a plastic bag hanging from his mouth full of cockroaches...) In case you haven't got a clue what I'm dribbling on about, Mike was on Cruel Summer which is a bit like Big Brother (wrote Big Bother by mistake - fitting really, as BB is a crock) but in a more twisted way. So well done, Mike. We're all very proud of you. Monday 13.8.01 Two bits of noteworthy news at the moment. Firstly, treading the ever-so-fine line between amusing and sickening, is the Hamiltons' rape charge. What interests me in this that both of them are implicated in this rape - what exactly did Christine Hamilton do? This speaks volumes, I suppose, about their sex-lives... Second, the Russian navy has decided not to raise the only bit of the Kursk submarine, which sank a year ago, which could possibly reveal the truth about what happened. This is in conjunction with the fact that since it sank, they have made wild claims about how it was sank by the American navy, which are completely beyond proof. Just fancy that! Tuesday 14.8.01 Yes, I think we could just about be on the brink of seeing the minor flaw in George Bush's Missile-Defence Star-Wars If-you're-happy-and-you-know-it-nuke-the-world plan. It's bollocks. |
