Slight panic this morning as was packing up my stuff for the day, and contemplating the fact that today might be my last driving lesson ever.
I live in hope. Anyway, so as I said I was putting books and stuff in my bag, when I suddenly realised I didn't have a clue where my
licence, appointment card etc etc for the test tomorrow actually were. After engaging in a frantic-ish ransacking of my room, I
sat down and tried to think through the situation rationally. For some reason, my mother's wisdom sprang to mind, the logic she used
whenever I had lost something when I was younger: 'Where did you last put it?' This seems to me, now, at the grand old age of 19, the
answer of the philistine: If I KNEW where I had put it, I would be able to FIND it... Anyway, I decided that mentally smiting my mother
wasn't productive and certainly not a good idea since she's lovely so I re-embarked on my search. Needless to say, mum's logic worked.
I found it within a minute.
Oh yeah, and hello
to you if you've just surfed on in from Michelle's site. If you're looking for that account
of my public humiliation, click here (June 4th.) For those
of you who don't know Michelle, she's a debating goddess who could trounce me and my arguments underwater with her hands tied.
Apparently I might be her bitch...considering one of my favourite pasttimes is bitching for Britain about...everything pretty much, I would
say I already am, Michelle...
7.6.01
Yippee! Roads of Britain no longer safe! Passed driving test! Oooh, and booked holiday for a week in Maijorca, leaving a week Sunday with
Becky, Mike and Jane. V. excited as you can probably tell... Going out to celebrate Susie's birthday tonight. Will try not to drink TOO much...
8.6.01
Having now crashed back to earth after yesterday's euphoria, it's hit me that today is exam results day. This I am not pleased about - I haven't got
them yet, but no doubt they won't be as good as they should be. Watch this space...
"Instructions for filling out form DX-9350: Application for a photocard driving licence. Please note that in order to apply for your licence you must first use this form to apply for form 39(a) unless the sum of the ages of your siblings matches within a range of 0.7394 seconds the combined length of all of your driving lessons (please state time in megawatts unless otherwise directed.) Using form 39(a) - unless exempted through mental or physical incapacity - fill out your details in quadruplicate throughout. Answer questions 6-11 in reverse order if using pencil or unless otherwise directed, and do not write 'search me' in any of the answer boxes. Failure to answer any questions properly (for sections A6-A9 you will need to know Romanian - please see post-office form 56 (a)/b: Where to learn eastern-european languages: six-year courses) will result in a hefty fine. Enclose a recent passport-sized photo (if subject is too big to fit in the booth complete attached form: serious weight-loss plan application) which is NO MORE than 46.9mm high and NO LESS than 50 cm wide. Failure to comply with instuctions will result in your licence having a stupid-looking photo of you on it. Mind you, it will anyway.
Send the form off the address(es) above using a 3rd-class stamp and one of these days the DVLA will get round to looking at your application, if you're lucky."
I passed my exams! This is good news: it means that the £60 I spent on course books last weekend wasn't wasted. Whether I'll read them or not (have BIG plans for this Summer...) is, unfortunately, still very debatable.
9.6.01
So today I moved out of halls for the last time, thank god. The management were typically obnoxious and shite - they set the fire alarm off at eight to wake everyone up. Thanks, guys. I now have the megalithic task of unpacking my life and restoring some order to my room. I might have done it by the end of Summer if I'm lucky...
10.6.01
Oh god. I leave in a week and my mother is already worried about me. She has just dug out of the attic one bottle of aftersun and one bottle of (wait for it) jungle-strength mosquito spray. I tried to explain that I was going to Majorca and not the bloody Congo, but I could not get this across to her. She’ll be giving me grenades and a handgun next.
On a completely different note, I have a dilemma which I need to have solved for me. I want to join my local gym for the Summer (three months) so I can at stay fit, because the chances are that I won’t otherwise. It’s fantastically equipped, all-systems-go, enough-machines-to-launch-a-spacerocket place. It’s also £191 for three months. Now, I know I can’t afford that now, especially since I’ve just shelled out for a holiday but I could earn it in a week… So I need solutions (ie your views on this: I have asked my brother who laughed at me, but who has never been to a gym in his life, and Laura who did point out the that it was ridiculously priced.) Ideally, the solution would be a cheque for the money, but figure none of you love me that much. So should I join?
11.6.01
I can always tell when I’m going to life is going to throw a bad day at me. Like this morning, for example, where I got up, bleary-eyed and wild-haired, and, attempting to put some deodorant on, picked up the wrong can and sprayed shaving foam into my armpit for the second time in three months. I then attempted to insert both contact lenses into the same eye and for 20 minutes wondered why the second one wasn’t going in. It’s now 11.30 and I’m just wondering what’s going to happen next.
12.6.01
Aargh. Former zeal, virtue and resulting self-satisfaction about early start to holiday reading rapidly disappearing. I quote from one of the (many) books which I am supposed to have read by September: ‘There were, however, ‘correlations’ between the various series: at any given time the literary series would encounter several possible paths along which it could develop, but which path was actually selected was the results of correlations between the literary system itself and the historical series.’ I’m sure that’s all very true and very nice, but what on earth does it actually mean? I suppose if I read it slowly and repeatedly enough, something will manage to fight itself into the sponge between my ears, but it’s going to be a tough battle…
