The Devil You Know
As soon as the sun sank below the horizon,Spike left his graveyard crypt looking for trouble-but,as luck would have it,it found him first. He heard the noise of a fight at the other end of the graveyard,and figured what's-her-name was out early to beat the demon rush,so he went to have a look see.It always did his dead heart good to see the Slayer getting her ass kicked,especially since he couldn't do it himself anymore,what with the bloody chip in his brain. But as soon as he came around the crumbling old Greyson mausoleum,someone flew into him,and they both went down hard in a tangle of limbs.
"Hey,watch it,"he snapped,sitting up and shoving away the person who'd collided with him. But it wasn't a person;it was a demon,and a weird one at that.It had a narrow,orange,cat like face,with ivory horns like a bull's curving out from the sides of its head,and a lean,wirey body that appeared to be at least partially furred.Reddish blood oozed from its flat black pad of a nose,while dark blue blood stained one of its horns."Help me,"it gasped,reaching into the pocket of its blood spattered canvas jacket. "Yeah,right,"he scoffed,as he recognized the overwhelmingly metallic scent of the blood on her-Frenik demon.Nasty buggers with no sense of humor;he had yet to meet one who didn't act like they had a big stick rammed up their arse.
Suddenly the horn-y cat demon-a she,judging from the hint of cleavage-grabbed his left arm as he stood,and said something in a language he didn't recognize,which didn't really narrow it down;he always left the poncy translating duty to show off Angelus,or his lovely Dru,who always knew what people meant,even if she didn't understand the language."At least speak English,kitty,"he demanded,and that's when he felt it...something hard and cold biting into his wrist,sending an icicle like shock of pain throughout his blood. He let out an inarticulate cry as he jerked his arm away and staggered back,but he still felt it;something snaking around the bone of his forearm. There,centered on his left wrist,was a dark crimson gemstone,roughly the size and shape of a scarab,which such a brightly opalescent carapace it almost appeared to be moving,the insides of the gem swirling like blood down a drain. He grabbed it,intending to rip it off,but somehow it had embedded itself in his skin and bones,and he could no more remove it than rip off his own hand.
"What the hell is this?!"He demanded,so angry he felt his vampire face emerge,fangs sprouting behind sneering lips as his heavy brow jutted over newly yellow eyes."Remove it,now!" The kitty struggled to her feet,clearly injured from her previous clash with the Frenik demon,and said simply,"Run." Then her forehead exploded in a sudden gout of blood and brain matter,splattering him with her warm and curiously dusty smelling blood as her body fell bonelessly to the ground,yet another corpse in a city full of them.
It was then Spike saw her killer-a Frenik demon,dark blue blood streaking the bronze scales of his face,lowering the smoking gun as other demons began assembling behind him like gawkers at a crime scene."What are you lookin' at,blondie?"He hissed derisively,his slit pupiled red eyes narrowing in contempt."Go find a goat to suck on,parasite." Spike glared at the snake like demon,finding it impossible not to sneer.Oh,how he hated Freniks."Do you have any idea who you're talking to,'mate'?And you'd better have cash on you,'cause you stained my coat-and leather's a bitch to clean." "Hey,Revant,look,"the Slime demon on the Frenik's right explained,pointing at Spike's arm."It's been bound to him." There was something about the way he said it that Spike really didn't like."What the hell is this thing?" "Nothing you'd want,vamp,"Revant hissed,as he and his demon buds began to slowly spread out,with the obvious intention of surrounding him.
Spike slowly backed up,trying to keep all of them in his range of vision.Now this was just what he was looking for-a taste of ultraviolence.But he couldn't help but be curious about what the hell was going on."Considering you just killed someone for it,I'm interested.It's some kind of magical gem,right?So what's it do?Cure your ugliness?" Revant frowned sourly,making him look even more like a snake with legs."Dust him,boys." The Slime demon lunged at him from the right as a Howler demon dove from the left,but all Spike did was jump back,letting the morons crash head first into each other and knock themselves cold."It's hard to find good help nowadays,ain't it?"Spike told Revant,before giving him a sharp snap kick to the face that sent him stumbling backwards over a tombstone. He punched out another Slime demon,gave another slimy thing a backhanded fist across the face,and gave a vicious,bone cracking elbow to the skull of yet another ugly scaled bugger.He head butted a fellow vampire-who deserved staking for working with a Frenik-and couldn't help but laugh:god,this was fun."Who wants some more then?Come on,don't be shy.There's plenty of me to go around." He kicked away the Slime demon who tried to tackle him low,blocked the punch of a human looking demon and threw one of his own- -only to have an explosion of crippling pain rip through his mind,making him scream and drop to his knees,grabbing his head.Not a human looking demon,but an actual human.Oh goddamn bloody hell.
The man kicked him in the face and sent him sprawling on his back,and before he could recover,the Slime demon pinned down his right arm and the Frenik pinned down his left as the human loomed over him.He tried to kick out,but because of the position of the man,it shot stabbing spikes of pain through his head and he had to stop,snarling in frustration. The man-a thick necked,steroid gobbling musclehead with piggy eyes and far too much jaw-cackled smugly,obviously getting his jollies at having a helpless Spike pinned at his feet."What's wrong,Drac?Scared of humans now?" "Let me up and find out,"he snarled,figuring he could make a break for it as soon as they did.Why did humans have to ruin his fun?Did he get much fun out of life...er,death anymore?It was no bloody fair.
"I don't think so,Billy Idol,"Revant spat,leering down at him with a sneer."I think we should take him back to the boss.I think he'll get a good laugh out of our spunky little vamp friend." "Who are you calling spunky?"Spike growled,trying to jerk his arm away. "Ah,that'll be funny,"the human agreed,chuckling to himself. "Yeah,let's see the moron who hired the Seven Dickheads to do his bloody work for 'im." The second Slime demon grabbed a marble tombstone and swung it down towards Spike's face. He had just enough time to figure it was going to hurt before it did just that.
"See?It says right here I'm right,"Cordelia said,bringing the musty old book to Wesley,who was still attempting to 'correct' the toteboard of demon kills set up in her living room."Hrethroth-whatever demons' names can be spelled in two different ways,as their language is untranslatable to any human tongue.So there,mister fussy pants." He glanced up at her impatiently,then looked at the book-one of the many demony tomes now littering her apartment.Wesley-in full anal retentive mode-had insisted she'd spelled Hrethrothzarigarfic wrong,as,according to him,there was a silent 'n' in it.Normally,she wouldn't give a damn,but his tone of voice indicated he thought she was an idiot,which she resented.He seemed wound up really tight lately,tighter than usual-was it her fault he couldn't get a date to save his life?
With a haughty sniff,he went back to rewriting the demon's senseless name,which,when said fast enough,sounded like a noise you might make while vomiting."The Watcher's Council always spelled it with a silent 'n'." "The group that kicked you to the curb?Oh yes,they must be right."She slammed the book shut in disgust and stalked away,back to the dining room nook. "They didn't 'kick me to the curb'."Wesley protested indignantly."And where does that expression come from anyways?It's bizarre." "This from a man who dances like a brain damaged baboon having a seizure,"she sighed,adding the book to the top of the stack cluttering her dining room table. "I beg your pardon?"
"All right Dennis,where did you put it this time?"Angel said wearily,emerging shirtless from the bathroom,his hair still wet from the shower. The cupboard beneath her kitchen sink opened on its own,and Angel's shirt flew out of it,straight towards him.He caught it easily and shrugged it on,grumbling,"We need to get you need a hobby." Cordelia wondered if Dennis's new penchant for playing small practical jokes on Angel-hiding his keys,random articles of clothing-was just dead guy hazing,or Dennis's general resentment that-despite being a ghost-Angel seemed to always know where he was in a room at any given time.It must have been another dead guy thing.
"You know,I have a blow dryer,"she told him,gesturing to his dripping hair. "No time;I have to get back out there now,"he said,strapping those weird stake launcher thingies onto his forearms."I just remembered where I'd seen that Hrethrothzarigarfic demon before:he's a merc who's been on Wolfram and Hart's payroll..."He picked his leather duster up off the sofa and glanced around curiously."Where'd you put my other clothes?" "I had Wesley throw them out.I was not having that stink in my house."If it wasn't bad enough that he'd fought the Hrethroth-whatever in the sewer,its blood splattered his shirt and pants when he killed it,and its blood smelled like vinegar mixed in compost.She'd have burnt them if she wasn't worried about the smoke being even stinkier. He sighed heavily-was it her fault he hadn't built up his wardrobe since they almost all burned up when the old building exploded?-and slipped on his jacket,heading for the door.
It was then Cordelia had a strange feeling in her head,like a gathering storm of energy behind her eyes... Oh no. "No,"she groaned,grabbing her head."No fair;I already had a vision tonight!" Cordelia cried out as the white hot pain exploded in her mind,and she saw- -a dark place,a factory,and a nightmare on legs:impossibly tall,as broad shouldered as two Angels set side by side,with an extremely large,misshapen bald head that was at least half mouth,saliva dripping from the corners of its virtually nonexistent lips as they pulled back in a snarl,revealing big,shark like black teeth.It loomed over a blonde man shackled to a conveyor belt,something red and insectoid glittering on his exposed forearm like a jewel.The monstrosity lowered its head towards him,and bit his head off.But it wasn't a man,it was a vampire,who instantly exploded into dust while the gemstone clattered to the factory floor.It filled her vision as the nightmare demon picked it up carefully in two of its razor sharp claws,spitting out a cloud of ash,and suddenly she knew- -she fell backwards and both Angel and Wesley caught her as the residual pain thrummed through her nerves like electricity.
"What did you see?"Angel asked,as they helped her to the couch.She didn't sit more than she collapsed,with Dennis kind enough to move a pillow to cradle her aching head."Painkiller,"she hissed. "Got it,"Wesley said,leaving for the kitchen,while Angel crouched down before her. "What was it,Cordy?" "A red bug,one of those Egyptian beetles." "A scarab?" "What about a scarab?"Wesley asked,as he returned with the pills and a glass of water.
She downed the pills with a gulp of water,and let Dennis take the glass as she told them,"I don't know,except it's powerful,and that thing shouldn't have it.The thing was one of those big ugly demons that look like distant cousins of the monsters in the 'Alien' movies.You killed one with a pair of bolt cutters once." "A Berserker demon,"Angel said,frowning intensely.Even she knew they were the big bad noise of the demon world-well,obviously.Ugly went straight to the bone with those freakazoids."Where?" "That old cannery on the East Side,but...oh,this is the really unbelievable thing.I saw Spike." "He's working with the Berserker?"Angel tensed and looked ready to bolt out the door. "No,he's...I can't believe I'm going to say this...I think you're supposed to save him."She rubbed her temple,waiting for the painkillers to kick in,and the sense of unreality to leave."I can't believe it either.But the scarab thingie is in his arm-not on,in,like it's been bolted to him or something.I don't know how,or why,but he has it-and they're going to kill him for it."
"Spike,"Angel repeated,nearly growling,his dark eyes remarkably hard and cold;almost Angelus eyes,close enough to make her shudder."I.Have.To.Save.Spike?"He spit out each word like a curse. "Spike?"Wesley echoed curiously,looking between them."Do you mean William the Bloody?" "No,we mean a big cartoon dog,"she sighed,in too much pain to care about insulting him or not. For his part,Wesley seemed to ignore the jibe."Didn't you sire him?" "No,"Angel exclaimed hastily,almost shouting."Dru did,which is bad enough."Oooh,touch a nerve much? Although he clearly loathed the idea-she wasn't going to do cartwheels over it either-he turned towards the door,obviously forcing himself to go and save Spike.But for some reason,Wesley started to follow him. "What are you doing?"Both Angel and Cordelia asked,almost in unison. Wesley seemed slightly startled by the stereo question,his blue eyes wide behind his wire framed glasses."I'm going with you.Not even two vampires are a match for a Berserker demon." She couldn't help but scoff."you with a rocket launcher and the Mexican Army are still no match for a Berserker demon."
"I want you and Cordy to research this scarab-find out what it is,what kind of power it has...and if I can kill Spike and still protect this thing." "You can't just go in alone,"Wesley insisted."The last time you fought a Berserker you were nearly killed.You need a plan." "I have a plan.I'm going to go in,grab Spike...and run."Angel then stormed out dramatically,still slightly huffy over the creep he had to save-and rightly so.She wasn't sure she could do it,in spite of the buggy jewel thing. Wesley glanced at her,frowning anxiously,clearly worried about Angel going it alone,but she could only shrug."He said he had a plan,"she pointed out."He didn't say it was a dignified plan."
Spike slowly regained consciousness,images of Dru dancing with a giant red beetle still lingering in his mind. What the hell was that about? He could still see her in her red velvet dress,her long dark hair veiling her face,swaying to music only she-and the beetle,obviously-could hear.She'd said something to him as she danced around the oversized bug...although the bug could have been twitching rather than dancing...oh,bugger it.Who cared? His head throbbed like an open wound,and Spike shifted uncomfortably,wincing as he cautiously opened a single eye to check out his surroundings. For a second,he thought he was just hung over,and would do better to just keep on sleeping,but this was no hang over.He'd drank nearly all his undead life-it was a medicinal method that rarely failed him-and he knew all species of hang over:from tiny 'needles behind the eyes'to Titanic sized 'brain oozing out your ears' mofos,and the real surprise-to him-was that this wasn't one of any of them.In fact,it felt as if someone had tried to cave in his skull... ...with a marble headstone.Now he remembered,and briefly wondered if the name Hernandez had left an imprint on his face.
Dim sodium light bleeding in through grimy high windows allowed him to see that he was in some sort of factory,meaning the dark,amorphic blobs directly above him were probably some type of quiescent machinery.He felt cold metal pinning his wrists to the side of the narrow slab he was on,which he guessed to be a locked down conveyor belt. There was a heavy stench of Slime demon and other assorted vermin in the air,and another smell-dry but sort of muddy-that just screamed bad news.
Then the ground seemed to tremble as some of the darkness before him moved... Oh shit. It was a Berserker,a seven foot tall fear factory of grey,armor plated scales and sheer ugliness that made lesser demons piss their pants.It moved with a gait that was both mincing and lumbering at the same time,like a dinosaur's,but big clawed feet didn't make for easy walking-or shoes,for that matter.But in spite of their size and odd,head heavy build,the bastards could move:in a short sprint,Berserkers were big grey blurs that left a ton of carnage in their wake. And you'd think they'd be fun guys to party with,but no:they were humorless and almost always pissed off at something;unpleasant wankers,the lot of them.They had no desire to expand beyond the basic,kindergarten level 'crush,kill,destroy',which made them incredibly boring. But if you wanted to kill someone-or an entire city,for that matter-you could rarely go wrong with a Berserker.It was the one thing they were good at.
Just his luck.God,he just couldn't get a break,could he? "Vampire,"it growled,its voice sounding like a metal pipe being scraped along a rock wall."You tried to take something from me." "No I didn't,"Spike protested,opening both eyes and trying to sit up,but it wasn't only his wrists that were shackled down;so were his ankles.Not that it would have done any good to kick at the Berserker;it just would have ripped his legs off,and he heard that hurt."Look,that furry bint just slapped it on me;I don't want it.Take it,it's yours.Just get it off me and I'll be on my way." He was only partly lying.He still wanted to know what it was,and if it was worth half of what he suspected it was he did want to keep it,but there was no way in hell he was going to fight a Berk for it.The ass it couldn't kick hadn't been invented yet. Of course,once he got his hands on an Uzi...
Suddenly he remembered what Dru had said to him in the dream-"Daddy's coming for you."If this was daddy,he really didn't want to meet the rest of the family. "Oh,thank you for your permission,"the Berserker growled,in a tone of voice that suggested he would have been better off playing unconscious.It stalked forward,blotting out what little light there was;too bad he didn't need it to see."But I didn't ask for a fairy tale.Do you really think I'm stupid enough to trust a vampire?" The first answer that popped into his mind-yes-would probably have gotten him killed,so he decided to avoid answering it altogether."I'm telling the truth.What the hell is this thing anyways?It kinda hurts;I think it's wrapped around a bone or something." But there was nothing but contempt in the Berk's bulging,apple sized black eyes,and Spike had the sinking feeling he was going to die anyways.But he couldn't die!Not like this-at the claws of this ugly Jurassic throwback.He always imagined a spectacular,destroying the world sort of death for himself,if he imagined one at all,but not with this bloody chip in his head,and not chained down to a conveyor belt.It wasn't fair! "Come on,man,give me a break,"Spike protested,trying to pull out of the cuffs one last time."I'm on your side." "You're on your own side,"it snarled,leaning over him,its impossibly large mouth opening wide. Was it going to bite his head off?How embarrassing."Could you at least have a breath mint first,"he said."You reek."
It was then he heard the noise of a door somewhere exploding open,and there was a sudden dull thud that knocked the Berk off balance,sending him stumbling away.Spike saw it now had a silver axe in the back of its head,which it was desperately trying to reach and pull out,but it couldn't quite get it. He heard the sounds of a fight-fists smacking flesh,grunts of pain,the dying scream of a dusted vampire-and wondered if the Slayer was finally making herself useful.But when he looked towards the sounds... ...oh come on!Someone was playing a really bad joke on him. "Daddy's coming for you,"Dru had cooed,and she meant her 'daddy'.Her sire. Angel. Spike struggled to get free,not wanting the bastard to have a clear and painless shot at him-he was one of the few assholes in his life he could still beat up,in spite of the chip-but his bonds remained tight and unyielding.
"Get him,you idiots,"the Berserker roared,still trying to get the axe out of its head.It hadn't split its skull-it barely penetrated its thick,armored hide-but it was stuck in a hard to reach area,throwing off its precarious balance. A Slime demon went flying,colliding with his Berk boss,and they both went down hard as Angel finally saw him...and the smug Nancy boy had the gall to chuckle,with a big annoying grin on his face. "Wow,Spike-you certainly get yourself into some interesting situations,don't you?" "Sod off,you wanker,"he spat,but then,after thinking about it,added,"but after you get me out of these bloody things." Angel continued to smile,gloating over this,and then pulled out a hatchet as he came towards him.Oh shit;all in all,he'd rather have been killed by the Berserker. The Slime demon pulled himself off his boss and lunged for Angel,but without even looking,he idly swung the hatchet and lopped the sucker's head off in mid-dive.Its body hit the floor with a wet squelch before its head hit the far wall. "You always were a bloody show off,"Spike grumbled sourly,as Angel held the hatchet high,and brought it down hard on the shackle pinning down his right wrist. "What the hell did you steal,Spike?"Angel demanded,as he cracked open the remaining shackles. "I didn't steal anything-it was forced upon me.I'm the victim here." He'd just broken the last cuff when the Berserker lurched towards them,and Spike jumped off the belt,putting as much room between him and the big ugly wankers as possible. His hope to see Angel killed was quickly dashed,as he must have known the Berserker was making a move and rolled over the conveyor belt on his back,landing on his feet on the other side just as the Berk slashed its claw down,shattering the belt like spun glass.
Angel slashed it across the face with the hatchet,spraying himself with its oily black blood,and Spike was glad for the distraction,as he was far too smart to stay any longer,as much as he wanted to stick around and watch Angel get dismembered. "Spike!Get back here!"Angel shouted,as Spike ran for the broken door. The Howler demon tried to intercept him,but one punch and he was down and out-glass jaw. Even though he knew he had to be in L.A. if Angel was here,it still surprised him to see the city when he ran out into the night. Now,how was he to go about finding out what this thing was...
As Spike cut through an alleyway,trying to figure out where he was in relation to a demon bar where he might get some help,two warty demons who looked like toad-demon hybrids and that annoying thick necked human appeared at the mouth of the alley. "Where do you think you're going,goatsucker?"The human sneered. Spike stopped and glanced behind him,not really surprised to find two horn covered Azarath demons and another steroid gobbling human blocking his retreat.They had to have humans in this,didn't they? "Now,I've never touched your mother,"he drawled in reply,wondering where the caveman browed pretty boy was now that he needed him. Oh,right-he left him to get killed by the Berk. The human glowered at him,pulling out a short sword from a sheath hidden beneath his jacket."As much as I'd like to kill you,I'm sure the boss would rather do it,so I guess I'll just take your arm." "What?"He hoped it was an idle threat,but he suddenly realized this moron probably couldn't spell 'bluff',nonetheless do it."No,you can't.I-I need it." "Hold him,boys,"thick neck said,a smug grin on his face."It'd be a shame if the sword slipped."
Spike backed away slowly,all too aware he was boxed in. He didn't want to wait for the humans to move in,so he charged the first Azarath demon,and,like he expected,the idiot charged him back.He spun into a kick that took the loser high in his lantern jaw,knocking him flat,but the second Azarath managed to connect with a decent punch to the face that sent him crashing back into the wall.Spike caught his fist as he tried to punch him again,and snapped his arm like a twig,making the ugly beast scream. "Did you really think you could take me,asshole?I've killed Slayers,you know."He spat in its grimacing face,as he saw the human moving in from the corner of his eye.His luck-whatever there was of it-had run out. He grabbed the Azarath and threw him into steroid boy number two,but as he did the pain exploded across his mind,the goddamn chip not even allowing peripheral violence against a human. "Shit shit shit!"He roared,grabbing his head,even as the human and the Azarath went down in a crumpled heap.The cursing helped,but not as much as it should have. If he ever got his hands on those Initiative wankers,he'd string them up by their short and curlies,cut off their balls,and make them eat them before he killed them.As heartening a thought as that was,it caused an even greater spasm of pain to knife through his brain,dropping him to one knee on the pavement.
The two toady demons each grabbed an arm and pulled him to his feet as the sword bearing human took up a premium slicing position before him,looking like a cheerful executioner. "Hold him still,"he said,faintly chuckling."We don't want any slippage." Suddenly steroid boy two,who had just regained his footing,flew into human number one,and they both went down,sword clattering away,as the conscious Azarath charged the newly arrived Angel. Angel-who looked like total crap,with a big gash from his forehead to his scalp and splatters of black Berk blood all over him-simply grabbed the Azarath and threw him head first into the parallel wall,knocking him cold. One of the toadies went for him,freeing one of Spike's arms,and before his toady chum realized he'd been abandoned,Spike happily pummeled the son of a bitch until his face was an even uglier pulpy mush.Man,that felt good. Angel had also made short work of his toady,but the first human was up,having shoved his unconscious friend off of him,and dove to retrieve his sword,but Angel intercepted him and gave him a swift kick to the face,putting him down for the count. "Well,go on,"Spike prompted."Kill him." Angel glared at him in full,bloody vamp face."I don't kill humans anymore,remember?" "Ponce,"he scoffed,searching his pockets for his cigarettes.Where the hell were they? Suddenly Angel had him by the throat and slammed him back up against the wall."I don't have time for your bullshit,Spike.What the hell is going on?" Spike grabbed his arm,but that just made him squeeze tighter.He could almost hear Dru cooing 'ooh,daddy's mad',and he didn't know whether to laugh or kill him."You tell me.You're the detective."
The ground trembled as a deep,inhuman roar seemed to reverberate off every building on the block in surroundsound,making Spike glare at Angel in shock."You didn't kill the Berk?" "How in the hell could I?"Angel growled,letting him go and reverting to his less attractive human face."Have you ever tried to kill those things?" "I thought you had." "I got lucky.Come on,move."Angel grabbed his arm and started running down the alley,pulling him along,so Spike had no choice but to follow-especially when he heard the thuds of a really pissed off Berk in pursuit. As if this day hadn't been shitty enough-getting something put in his arm,getting kidnapped,getting stuck with Angel with an enraged Berk after them-the bastards had also stolen his cigarettes. They'd pay for that.
