Funny Oneliners and Top 15 Thinnest Books
Funny Oneliners
- 1. If your uncle jack was on the roof would you help your uncle jack off?
- 2. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
- 3. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- 4. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
- 5. Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect to get it back.
- 6. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
- 7. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
- 8. Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
- 9. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
- 10. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
- 11. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
- 12. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
- 13. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
- 14. Karaoke is Japanese for
- 15. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- 16. Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
- 17. As I said before, I never repeat myself.
- 18. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
- 19. Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
- 20. Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
- 21. Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
- 22. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- 23. Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
- 24. Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
15 Thinnest Books
- 15. My Plan to Find the Real Killers, by O.J. Simpson
- 14. Things I Would Not Do for Money, by Dennis Rodman
- 13. The Wild Years, by Al Gore
- 12. Amelia Earheart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean
- 11. America's Most Popular Lawyers
- 10. Detroit- A Travel Guide
- 9. Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
- 8. Everything Men Know About Women
- 7. Everything Women Know About Men
- 6. George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names
- 5. To All the Men I've Loved Before, by Ellen DeGeneres
- 4. Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette
- 3. Spotted Owl Recipes, by the EPA
- 2. The Amish Phone Directory
- 1. The Book of Virtues, by Bill Clinton
