What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
If a light-sleeper sleeps with a light on, what does a hard-sleeper sleep with?
What is the difference between Olympic swimmers and Olympic divers?
Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows.
What does Popeye do to keep his favorite tool from rusting?
Sticks it in Olive Oyl.
What has three teeth and sixty feet?
The front row at a Willy Nelson concert.
What is the new O.J. web site address?
slash.slash.backslash.escape
What did the lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
They're right! We do taste like chicken!
What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
Their balls are just for decoration.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
What are YOU shaking for? She's going to eat me!
What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather ... kinky is using the whole chicken.
What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?
About three inches.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
Well-hung
What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?
You can't hear an enzyme.(get it? whore-moan..lol)
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Mega-sor-ass
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One ... Men will screw anything.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....the other is used to carry groceries.
What did the blonde say when asked if she'd been picked up by the fuzz?
No ... but I've been swung around by the tits.
If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute?
The one that's labeled "IDAHO"
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Cuz every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench. Suddenly a man comes along, flings open his trench coat and flashes them. Two have a stroke... but the third doesn't 'cause her arms aren't long enough.
How do you castrate a Red Neck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.
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