The Crazy Cat

I suppose you are wondering, why in the world does Mama Cat hate you, or why I even put this page up, but the reason is quite important. Now I know that there is at least one time in someone's life where they screamed at their mother, "I hate you", and if you haven't, you will soon. Anyway, when you said that, did you have a reason other than that you were just mad at the time? No, of course not, but these are REAL reasons why Mama Cat actually does hate you, to make you feel very sad and depressed.

Mama Cat hates you because...

... you look like vomit.
... when you wear diapers, you stink.
... you drool when you sleep.
... you smell like ham.
... it takes approximatly 4 hours to lick a skunk.
... you feel like cheese.
... you like to chew on marble and say "shollysodooboodyboodydooby".
... you smell like a horse's butt.
... you can't say "pronounciation" correctly.

... you listen to music that doesn't pertain to its title.

... whenever you make a sandwich, it turns into liquid because you can't control your bowel movements.

... you eat too many seagulls.

... you're a sick little monkey.